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Joined devRant on 9/12/2016
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Website design philosophies:
Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."
Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"
Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."
Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"
Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"
Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."
Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"
University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."32 -
"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.105 -
Wooaaah job offer as cto and shareholer in startup... or senior developer in established business.
How can i even make that choice.7 -
I put an Easter egg into a product, that if you enter the string "final countdown" into the stock code search field, it plays a YouTube vid of Europe's "The Final Countdown", in a hidden div. It's an in-joke for a few people in the company.
A well meaning maintainer with no sense of humour or judgement takes over and goes on the warpath against any hardcoded strings. The secret code gets moved into a config file.
A third developer changes the deployment script so that it clears any configs that aren't explicitly set in the deployment settings.
So the secret code is now "".
Literally every PC in the stock buying department is now blaring out "The Final Countdown" at top volume.
...Except none of them have speakers, so it remains this way for over a year and two more changes of maintainer.
I just noticed this afternoon and quietly re-hardcoded the string. The buying dept.'s PCs will silently sing no more.31 -
Guy: "We just can't finish this in 1 month!"
Boss: "Yeah you can, I'll hire more people."
Guy: "... You know, a woman can deliver a baby in 9 months but 9 women can't deliver a baby in 1 month."21 -
How come starting a new project is always more appealing than finishing the infinite amount of unfinished projects :'(4