As we may all messed up a (git) repo at the begininng, do you know the surge of adrenalin right before pushing your committed changes or merging branches?

Calling a client's hosting provider to switch on a feature because shell is jailed.

This might sound cliché, but my dad. I called him Pop. He was a COBOL programmer, and he taught me the fundamentals. He would bring home his work and debug on paper, and I was his rubber duck.

When I got older, we were each other's rubber duck. Whenever I was stuck, he'd throw a suggestion out that might have seemed off base at first, but was somehow related to what I was working on.

Headphones ON ears means DON'T disturb unless it's important.

Talking about the chance of rain is not f*ing important. Especially when it's the 10th effin time I'm interrupted by nonsense officetalk in one hour!

A message to all Android developers:

MAKE YOUR APP SUPPORT SPLIT SCREEN.

Sincerely, a pissed off multitasker.

😤 sometimes when I read devRant comments...😧

If I wanted a solution I would ask on stack overflow.

Let me have my hate.

I have a pm to force choke.

The awkward moment you set a new password and don't remember it anymore on the next day.

My devRant Google Play review.

When android starts updating an app thus shutting it down while I use it, I want to go and burn down Google

Great phrase from my PM (sarcasm):
"Don't waste time with maintainable code, we have a lot of bugs to solve"

Time for a rant!.

Got a client I've just built a website for and they went live 2 weeks ago.

This morning he sends me an email saying that the website is not good enough because it's not making any sales or getting any traffic.

I send an email back asking if he has a marketing / SEO company... The response was I thought you do that as you said the site would be SEO friendly!!!.

I'm a developer! Not a marketer, fuck off.

What do you think of Mr Robot ??

Fake bug fix

THERE IS ACTUALLY A REPOSITORY ON HOW TO ANNOY DEVELOPERS.
WOW. JUST WOW.

https://github.com/omidfi/...

http://howtoannoyawebdeveloper.com

Managed to impress girls by changing a guys facebook name with FF dev tools inspect.

There is no such thing as an 'idea' person.

Learn to art, learn to code, or learn to FUCK OFF!

Talented people can take bad ideas and make gold.

Without skill the best idea will turn out garbage.

Come on guys ... Everyone was young once we all thought java and JavaScript were basically the same thing! ...

Granted I was 7... when I learnt the truth....

CSS be like

Push me
And then just merge me
So I can get that
Merge confliction
Merge confliction

People asking me to make websites...

That rare moment when you write clean beautiful code and you just stare at it for a few minutes

If Rammstein were programmers :D

.busstop {
    font-style: italic;
}

My finished side projects are very much like my girlfriend,

Nonexistent.

My face when a developer suggests to use Windows server instead of Linux for speed and security reasons

Roughly 180 days, 5 months and 29 days, 4,320 hours, 259,200 minutes, I devoted myself to a client project. I missed family outings with my daughter and my wife. People started asking my wife if we had broken up. My daughter became accustomed to daddy not being around and playing with her. Sometimes only sleeping 4 hours, I would figure out solutions to problems in my sleep and force myself to wake and put them into action. My relationship with my wife became very fragile and unstable. I knew I had to change but I just needed a little bit more time to complete this client project.

Finally, the project was ending there was light at the end of the tunnel. I “git add –-all && git status” everything looked good. I then “git commit -m “v1.0 release candidate && git push beanstalk master”

I deployed the app to the staging server where I performed my deployment steps. Everything was good. I signed-up as a new user, I upload a bunch different files types with different sizes, completed my profile and logged out. I emailed the client to arrange a time to speak remotely.

“Hello” says the client “How are you” I replied. “Great, lets begin” urged the client. I recited the apps url out to the client. The client creates a new account and tries to upload a file. The app spews a bunch of error messages on the screen.

The client says

“Merlin – I do not think you really applied yourself to this project. The first test we do and it fails. If you do not have the time to do my project properly please just say so now, so I can find somebody else who can”

I FREAKED THE FUCKOUT on the client!!!!!!! and nearly hung up. My wife was right next to and she was absolutely gobsmacked. I sat back and thought to myself “These fuckers don’t get it”. All that suffering for nothing!

Thanks for reading my rant….

BTW: I did finish the project, the client was amazed on how the app worked and it is has become an indispensable tool for their employees.

Math is hard.

The life of a frontend developer

Debian is installing

Learn git right after you learn your first programming language.