Yesterday's JR web dev interview:
👨🏻‍💻: Experience?
👶: Well JS, pyhton, UX Design and bit of Sass.
👨🏻‍💻: Feel like you'll have a hard time learning PHP?
👶: Well if it needs to be PHP, I can learn it.. Are you using a certain CMS?
👨🏻‍💻: Cool, good. Yeah we're using WordPress and need to support our sites for IE8.
👶:... Well.. ehm.. *runs away and screams in panic 💨*

I'd like to have... A Kernel Panic please, no sudo on top.

There are 3 types of fear
1. Terror
2. Panic
3. Client is using internet explorer

Small agency, wants to try out some voice tech. Bought a Google AIY to get started, found some limits, worked round them.

Junior developer thought it would be fun to 'teach' it to swear.

Played around with some nice dialogflow intents, etc and got it all working.

Looking pretty good, loaded it with some quippy answers and case studies to show off our services.

Just got in to find out the boss has taken it to a presentation to a client about some of the new stuff we're doing... Now we are all sitting here waiting to see how many of us have a job tomorrow :-/

This makes me panic, every time

Well ill just panic then

Friend: "You are good with computers right?"
Me: "Yes...."
Friend: "Can you put an eye on my computer? Mint crash at every startup"
Me: (Oh Linux! For this time ok) "Yeah, show me"

My friend open the pc...
Pc: "KERNEL PAAAAANIC!"
Me: ".... WTF!?"
Friend: "Can you repair this?"
Me: (shit.)

That was a long day...
(My friend closed the lid without the drivers and then the pc from the standby did not wake up correctly)

Tested on local work perfectly,
Push to production
Restart service
CPU went up to 100%, process alive but all services down.
Panic.
Try to think of what would be the cause.
With no hope, i restarted the service again.
Everything works as expected.
I still dont know what happened. :/

-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
-What mood is that?
-Last-minute panic.

Been awake for like 18 hours.
Ok one last push to gitlab.
*Gitlab offline* welp, guess ill do that later, time for some sleep.
*Reads their status on twitter about data loss* (panic)

FUCK

My company does estimates in two ways.

1. Sales person just throws a number out there, always short, and we panic code to make it happen before the client decides twice as long isn't worth it.

OR

2. The devs are told to give an estimate before having a chance to find out all the requirements, THEN ARE TOLD THEY ESTIMATED TOO HIGH AND TO LOWER THE NUMBER!

FUCK THE ESTIMATING!!! GIVE US TIME AND ACCEPT OUR ESTIMATES!! SALES PEOPLE DONT HAVE TO STAY UP IF WE NEED TO CRAM!!

"We don't need that network profile for this interface anymore."

*Removes*

*40+ virtual machines lose network connectivity*

"Huh. That shouldn't have happened...Well, I gotta catch my flight. Machoog, you got this?"

*Panic!*

1. Connect your laptop to prod-vpn
2. Open SQL Server Management Studio for debugging
3. Walk away
4. Find your 3 year old at your laptop
5. Panic.
6. Thank Microsoft for locking the screen when the laptop sleeps.

Best way to waste time: Debug the wrong thing. :D

Every so often I remember that the code I wrote is running in production and real customers are using it and I feel a little bit sick

LAST MINUTE:

The heavenly time window we're all thankfully entitled to!

Its where 90% of my productivity lies,

Its when 80% of my projects were developed,

Its when 'responsibility' synonymous to 'panic',

Its when i start to realise the dark and deep depths of the universe,

Its what gives me my purpose in life.

So, continuing with the story, I decided to quit today.

I'm not even a month there, and I'm running out of there in flames.

I've got 2 panic attacks in one week, I'm not sacrificing my mental health for some idiot's scam.

Am I the only here who get so much PUSSY when encountering bugs in code?
P - panic attacks
U - uncontrollable anxiety
S - suicidal fantasies
S - sadness
Y - yearning to death

As we may all messed up a (git) repo at the begininng, do you know the surge of adrenalin right before pushing your committed changes or merging branches?

A: man Stack Overflow is a paradise on earth, anything I need is on there, it never lets me down.

"Stack Overflow is currently offline for maintenance"

A: ......PANIC

Booking a hotel on booking.com

**only 3 rooms avaliable at this discounted price BOOK NOW**
**12 rooms booked just in the last 24 hours BOOK NOW**

*** HTML AND CSS FLASHING WEBSITE PANIC**

I call the hotel directly "sorry sir, we're closed for the season and currently renovating, will not be open till June"

I need a drink.

On a tiny vacation in another country. Don't have a converter plug (for the power sockets) so borrowed one.

*connects laptop to charger* (old charger which might die soon)
*nothing happens*
*slight panic*
*tries different sockets*
*nothing*
😨😲😭
"you might want to check your phone with that thing as the socket seems loose as hell"
*tries phone with charger that definitely works*
*nothing*

😰🙌

That was a fucking panic attack right there 😅

So, I told my new newbies intern; "Please keep remind yourself, not accidently type 'rm -rf /' as root. You don't want to know what going to happen". He nod.

Next day, in the dev server, "Kernal Panic". Human, full of curiosity.

Quick burger restaurant (a Belgian burger restaurant much like McDonalds) using raspberry pi for their screen ... Well looks like it doesn't quiet work 😂

When you're talking on your phone and have a panic attack because you can't feel your phone in your trouser pockets...

WE'RE OUT OF COFFEE! :0

I recently interviewed for a job at company where I had 20 minutes to code a solution in python (whose standard library I know nothing about) to a question, which also included googling certain finance-related APIs, with not one but two technical interviewers looking over my shoulder THE ENTIRE TIME.

Code a band.

I am on holidays and because of devRant I found out about gitLab...
I am sweating and in panic but no one from work called me yet.
Then I realised, this is my first vacation without laptop and work phone in years.

I think I will get back to work 10 days from now and it will like: "Hey!! Can you sit and fix this? We've been waiting for 2 weeks"...

FUUUUUUU!!

40 hour work week with a physically demanding job, full time bachelor's student, and web dev on the side. I'm exhausted all the time. I find myself migrating to my bed. "I'll read this chapter in bed".

Next thing I know I've been passed out on my book for three hours. Panic. Repeat.

Kernel panic

When the coffee you had in the morning kicks in all at once.

Now my heartbeat is faster than my keystrokes

!rant

Advice
[1] Don’t panic! All will become clear in time.
[2] You don’t have to know every detail of C++ to write good programs.
[3] Focus on programming techniques, not on language features.

just read in "A Tour of C++11" by Bjarne Stroustrup

It's not just true for C++, that's true for everything

Not everyone starts 2018 with a kernel panic...

A group of Engineering professors were invited to fly in a plane.

Right after they were comfortably seated, they were informed the plane was built by their students.

All but one got off their seats and headed frantically to the exits in maniacal panic.

The one lone professor that stayed put, calmly in his seat, was asked: “Why did you stay put?”

“I have plenty of confidence in my students. Knowing them, I for a fact can assure you this piece of shit plane will never even start”

Source: r/jokes

>X gets corrupted somehow
>"sudo apt-get remove xorg"
>begins uninstalling millions of packages
>a fullscreen warning flashes by: "Are you SUUUUUURE you wanna remove the kernel?"
>wasn't prompted to deny
>After process, get kernel panic
>reboot
>kernel panic within 10 seconds

Why must you do this to me, Debian?

So we send a quote out to a client to update his website to make it compliant with the new privacy guidelines: SSL encryption, removing external libraries, removing Facebook Plug-ins, all that stuff. We didn't get a response.

On Monday, he called in a panic. "The website does not work, fix immediately!"

I check out the server, what do I see? An SSL cert installed the Friday before... Client decided to do it himself, on a Friday, without testing. He broke something, but cannot tell me exactly what he did.

And somehow he thinks all that is my fault :D

Stupid bluemix console, build a translator web apps which processed by translator api services. When I pushed it, error occurred *panic begins*. Then I decided to create a default netcore template and push it. It worked. Push the former one again and it worked.

Stupid server honestly

Cat schroedingers = Cats.getFromScientist("Schrödinger");
boolean lives = schroedingers.isLiving();

*runs code*
Kernel panic

The weird feeling you get when you ask a colleague what he recommends as unit testing framework for C# and his first response is: "What do you mean by 'unit testing'?"

Signed up for a coding contest that starts at 9am. I’m bad at timed code challenges, but I’ll never get better if I don’t push myself.

Woke up in a panic, thinking I’d overslept... 1.5 hours after falling asleep.

This is definitely not going to help matters. Thanks, brain.

What's worse than putting out fires all day?

Going to check on and put out fires but then realizing they don't exist because management is incompetent.

#clowndrivendevelopment 🤡

In 7 hours I have a meeting with the big Boss CEO our company the head of heads.... I have to present the development plan to save the company (about 9000 employees).... I can't sleep cause I hate to present in general.... I fuc%$# can't get a clear mind.... I'm dieing inside >..< and I really need to sleep
wish me luck

Not going to one because crowds give me panic attacks unless I've had a beer or ten

That amazing feel when you recover from a kernel panic! 😁

Woke up after a 2-3 hours nap at night just to have a career-panic and apply for all the jobs I'm overqualified for.

... Now I regret it.

😐

Dev deploys new CSS.

Client: I can't see the changes PANIC.

Dev: clear your cache!

Client: oh that's better. Now can we do that for all user?

Dev:😱

And then suddenly our website loses all its icons, Slack chat errupts in panic and then we figure out that fontawesome itself has gone offline

What a wonderful world we live in

Nothing screams panic like accidentally deploying an older, broken staging build, that also run outdated database migrations on start, straight to production

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

When You Write approx 1000 lines of code without save, and then kernal panic... I'm exhausted 😑

I don't mean to fear monger or cause panic BUT
I know somebody who knows somebody that uses 4 spaces instead of tab..

Working on my Lenovo x1 carbon. Akku warning "less then 6%" appears. No problem, I will connect the cable just after I finished this function... "Will shutdown in a view moments" message appears. Ok, I connect the cable. Nothing happens. Maybe power adapter is broken or something more worst. Panic. Try to commit and push as fast as I can (around 2000 LOC from today, made big changes on my project today). While pushing to github laptop powers off. Fuck. Check github on smartphone to see if commits had been pushed. No. I do not have a power adapter for replacement. FML.

I have one! Once upon a time (about a year ago) my mom went online shopping on her own. Her husband was out of town and so she had no assistance. At about 10.30 pm she called me, freaking the fuck out that she entered her credit card details on a sketchy site and they charged her for more than she ordered. She was in hysterics, didn't know what to do. Superwoman to the rescue, I tell her to go and deactivate her card and jump on a train back home (she was crying on the phone she was so scared, couldn't just leave it until morning) fast forward an hour, I'm in my hometown, she picks me up and we head home to check out the situation, and... She had just received the email invoice twice. They hadn't charged her twice, just some email mishap made the email appear twice and she never thought to check her bank account before summoning me home 🙄😂 we laughed for a while and I got a home cooked meal so it's all good but Jesus christ mom. What would you honestly do without dad?

Two years ago, I developed an security app for Android as a school project. I didn't like teamwork at school (you know, you do all the work and everyone else is getting the same grade you receive, specially if you are the nerd of the class), actually I hated it, so I made it alone.

Its name was "Alex" and was a simple "panic button". You can configure two emergency emails and phone numbers (contacts only, not police) and, if you're in danger, you just have to press the button and the app is gonna send two messages/emails to your contacts: the first one, to tell where are you (GPS, only the name of the place) and that you're in problems. The second one with an audio/photo file of the situation.

Sounds like a great app, and I tested it few times. The reason I didn't continue with this is that I got my first job and I had not time, and that, tree or four months later, the government (of the city) launched a similar app. Less sophisticated, but I think it's still useful: "No estoy sola"(I'm not alone). I haven't tested it cause I don't trust on the authorities, I'd preffer to send my location to a friend through messenger app instead.

I don't know if I should re-work this app (I didn't released it, I just have the beta) or work on something else. I'm afraid that, if I release it, someone could die or get kidnapped because of a bug or something going wrong with the app :c What do you think?

Casually debugging some cuda code today. Something's not working so I add a breakpoint in the suspicious kernel. For some reason I set the display GPU as the active device from my code *GENIUS* ( I have two GPUs installed, one for compute, one for the monitors).

Starts cuda debugging... Control flow reached the kernel and eventually the breakpoint. Suddenly the whole system freezes. Mouse doesn't move, keyboard seems dead. I realize I have unsaved code on the open text editor😲 *panic*. Keyboard shortcut to stop debugging doesn't work *panic^2*. My colleague says I have to hard reset the machine *panic^3*. I don't remember the last time I saved *panic^4*.

I take a deep breath. I reset. *sidenote: WINDOWS DECIDED TO FUCKING UPDATE ON REBOOT* Once I login, 50% of my code was lost. I didn't save 😢

Fuck you Nvidia 😢

Had a panic attack during a coding assignment and now every time I think about that problem I just start spacing. Noice.

Also dear companies: if you wanna ask your interviewees about trying to deduce a theorem out of nowhere, maybe do it in the first test and not in the last one. Cause that’s a shot in the dark to someone who’s not a mathematician and id feel waaay less frustrated if I didn’t give you 6 hours of my life just to end up with an arbitrary task like this.

My bitch ass employer won't allow work from home saying unless government enforces it, he can't allow it and reason he is giving is that wE wOn't be AbLE tO communicAtE via SkyPE?
I am so pissed that such people. Everyone citizen has non serious attitude that they saying things like "Nothing gonna happen", "Chill, you are panic way to much about the Corona virus", while number of cases are increasing exponentially here too!
WTF,
I have realized that people don't understand something unless it happens to them.
This is shit.
As rational beings, we should be taking drastic measures while we can but NO!
Fuck You!

I am a firmware developer with 4 years experience. C and sometimes assembly is my bread and butter.

Like 2 years ago, I was really interested to make a switch to application development. Got referred by my friend to her startup.

But I was a bit rusty with my data structures, high level languages and interpersonal skills.

The first question was to find the number of occurences for each word in a paragraph. The language choice was Java. But I was allowed to use C++ since it was the closest relative to Java that I knew.

And I started implementing a binary search tree from scratch and started inserting each tokenised word into it, wrote a traversal algorithm.

The interviewer, luckily, was a patient guy. After I completed my whole mess, he asked is it possible to do this in a slightly better way with constant time access without traversal.

I said yes, we can with a hash table but I dont know how to implement one. He replied I dont expect you to implement the hash table but see you use it. I asked him if I am allowed to used the standard library, for which he said ofcourse.

*facepalm*.

Finally I understood his expectation, referred cppreference.com and used an unordered_map.

Later there were some quesion on databases for which I tried my best to answer. And I frankly replied that I am not comfortable with JS frameworks as of now. Got rejected.

So the mistake is I never asked basic questions like what is the time complexity expects, if I was allowed to use standard library, didnt spend some extra time on studying stuffs needed for the domain switch and most importantly I panicked.

Kernel panic!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

So, packing up and leaving this hell hole.

In the end I just said that I had 2 panic attacks in the last week, and that I am leaving for medical reasons.

->buying fake arduino from ebay.
->have to install separate drivers, because the manufacturer uses a cheap usb to serial chip.
-> driver page is all in chineese, only the download button is in english
-> installed the driver(at this point there was no going back)
-> rebooted
-> instand kereal panic
-> fuck_me.png

Found out today my boss told the team lead to put an unfinished part of the software that I'm developing into production so the clients 'could look at it already'. Team lead claims he objected but boss insisted. So now our error logs are filling up with lines every time it silently fails, and the pressure is on even harder to make it work asap. This has been going since the start of the week and I found out about it now. Boss told team lead it looks better to the clients this way. Meanwhile I'm just thanking the heavens this at least couldn't cause data loss. Probably. *panic intensifies*

i kinda feel embarrassed all the time. i feel like it's never enough, i don't know enough, there's so much i don't know. i do enjoy my work and sometimes there are moments where i'm proud of what i've done, or these "i'm a fucking genious" moments when i solve a bug or a certain problem or when something finally works. but if i have to do something new, i tend to panic a bit, as long as i do not yet have a concrete solution in mind.
my perception contrasts with the feedback people give me, but even when i'm happy about the positive feedback, i tend to think to myself, "they're wrong, it's not that great"..

GITHUB IS DOWN! RING THE ALARUMS!

Sometimes the pebkac is so strong it continues to amaze me.

Step 1: customer updates pos software
Step 2: customer is presented a perfectly reasonable UAC screen with yes/no choice
Step 3: customer panics and takes no further action
Step 4: a few hours later the first customer enters the store and more panic ensues as the update is still waiting on the uac
Step 5: the customer calls us in panic and acuses us of writing shut incomprehensible software

Wish this was an once in a year exception, untill we wrote a bypass for the whole uac crap this was a daily occurance.

3AM manual GRUB fixing is great.

boot-repair? Hangs.

update-grub? Kernel panic (how???)

fml

That feeling when lead dev hid a couple of really secret bugs for you, and then left for vacation... *cough* @BinaryProvider 😉

When the project's due today and your code is still a pile of shit.

!rant

Monday morning panic...the dreaded question.

Random office colleague: "Do anything fun over the weekend?"

Me internally: Fuck...what did I do? Did I do anything at all? I mowed the yard...played video games...spent 3 hours looking at some random open source package I gave up trying to compile. All that is boring though. Was there nothing exciting I can brag about? Fuck...oh wait. I went to a huge theme park Saturday. Yeah that's cool enough to mention!

Me: "No not really"

I've been sitting and staring at my code for two hours.
Actual work done - nil
This has been going on since three days now.
Tying not to panic. It has happened before. This phase should end in the next couple of days....
Don't panic please.
I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight...

Sort of !dev

I can't do school anymore. I get so many panic attacks. I was shaking the entire time I was writing my essay today. It's hard to focus when your brain is fucking freaking out. I'm missing deadlines, failing tests left and right.

Real talk, I'm not dumb. This was never a problem. My University fucked me up and now I can't even look at an assignment without an electric feeling and I don't know what to do.

I had a panic attack during the opening crawl of Star Wars. I had to leave the theater. My anxiety is going to give me a heart attack one of these times. I'm 18, why am I experiencing health issues like this?

School isn't done right. How could this be the intended effect?

In my day off I was eager to try overclocking in my pc and this is how it went:

- Fucked up overclocking parameters for cpu and ram speed.

- BIOS is broken, had to take out gpu to do a reset taking out the bios battery.

- BIOS is up again, default values loaded, bla bla

- Did not try to fuck off anymoar with overclocking, just kept playing star wars and went to sleep safe and sound like a baby.

- Gotta work now. docker does not start, closes itself after tried to start, docker panic, I panic, tried to uninstall, tried to update. nothing works

- Then I remember bios default values leaves virtualization off. enables it again, docker still not working. I panic again, restarted pc like 10 times between disabling/enabling hyper-v in windows.

- Docker dies. not gonna change my overclock options again. silly me 🤦‍♂️

Don't panic and break up your big problem into smaller problems and solve them in a logical cadence.

Also, when you go home at night...turn off man. If you take your work home with you, you will go mental.

So, driving, my car on fire, under the dashboard of the passenger side a lot of smoke. No panic, I'm 1337 h4x0r so I did what a decade of experience thought me: I've putted it off and on again. Guess what; fire gone.

Note: Hope car doesn't die on me, I just invested 2k into it

I love my Linux =D
P.S. The fun part is that I fixed that kernel panic eventually

UPDATE on production. Forgot the WHERE... bugger... Panic time!

Woo crunch time! The 3 panic attacks a day, no sleep, massive guilt complex, caffiene addiction, lack of seeing my wife, phone breaking(calling doesn't work), lawn needing mowing, upper management bothering all of my team, more guilt, more panic, inferiority complex, theory that coworkers think I am slacking, and technology just not working because the machine spirit decided I pissed it off is starting to get to me a little.

Holy shit, today I was the first person to arrive at work... And then the alarm came on... I didn't knew the code 😅 sooooo a panic phone call later, I turned it off but holy Shit... I've never had this rush this early of the day

Anxiety sucks.
Clonazepam sucks.
Insomnia sucks.

Maybe coding would be fun again if I just got out of this neurotic rut.🙄

And..... it’s Monday now....

when a client asks for FTP access and you don't know whether to cry or panic....

Last night I had a panic attack and woke up in cold sweats because in the dream I had I was constantly using the wrong variables in the wrong places...

- booting Linux
- starting Clonezilla
- kernel panic after some time
- WTF, this used to work
- look at sensor values
- CPU is really hot
- CPU fan doesn't work
- BIOS warning disabled because the lowest regular fan level is 0 RPM

Luckily, I still had some cheap 120mm fan which is a bit louder, but works. What's astonishing is that in normal operation, i.e. without full load, the case fans alone provided enough air stream for the CPU cooler.

Boss only likes stuff he can see and that looks pretty. Doesn't understand code, servers, containers, DBs, etc. Praise is attributed by something looking nice in the frontend, whether or not it does crazy stuff behind the scenes.

Spent a week working on a project whilst boss was away. Got to about Thursday and thought, oh poop, I've built all this API stuff, but not much frontend. So I panic built frontend screens with no functionality just so I had something to show.

Wish I had another dev to share backend progress with (and code review)...

New user here. Are you guys all cool? I keep having a panic attack every time someone comments. PTSD from hackernews...

As someone who works in AI and actually bothers with cognitive models, general intelligence, theory of mind and such shit, I find the current state of the field laughable. I don't get why people panic about AI. Like, yeah it's gonna take us a while to adopt and regulate, but... it's just not there, and nowhere even near there, yet.

... Unless we're comparing AI to moronic idiotic mofos such as my neighbors. But let's not do... that. 😒 Let's just not.

In 9 months time there is going to be an enormous worldwide baby boom, which will cause panic buying, shortages, and mass maturnity /paternity leave.

And the new generation will be called the coronials.

I remember
I did this 1 command which i didnt understood properly
But all i can say is it "apt remove" this 1 package

Suddenly i am watching my every distro related package getting purged

And simultaneously my chrome stopped working , i can no longer open nautilus or even a folder
Terminal is dead
Desktop things are changing rapidly
And.. i finally thought oh well i needed to change my flavour anyways xD
That was how i met my first kernal panic

Can U decode this secrate message?!
(Too easy don't panic!)

ehiiHGdDByDy4wfm8zNyYVCllF0vkKqqBLGXZ/cZyn/7xo2KfD8/qDsMJm3IK3oE

i nearly had a panic attack when 3 tables contaning transactions shows empty,. then i reconnected dbeaver and it turns out it was fine,. damn my shitty internet!

Last night by accident I put my phone on coconut paste. (don't ask.)

Although it doesn't show signs of damage, and hopefully it hasn't been damaged, my heart is still not at rest. I had enough panic for one year.

But why does this keep happening to me with tech stuff accidents? Whyyyyyyy?

Does anyone else get crippling fear anytime your boss wants a 1 on 1 meeting?

I always assume I'm getting fired and panic over it..even though so far that's never happened.

Less stress.. No panic.. And yea.. Beer. Drink beer if you're really stressed... Helps me out everytime..
By the way I am drinking beer as I write this..

Amazing! My joke functionality worked and the server delivered it's content successfully to the client. The joke: malloc is wrapped to give that message and retry IMMEDIATELY. Expectation is that the computer that was already in panic mode gets even fucked up more because it's out of memory. My malloc is literally while((ptr=malloc()} == NULL) { show_warning()
;malloc();}. Imagine if it didn't give that warning, I would've never known that a malloc failed. Who checks their freaking malloc result? You should, but i do not see much people doing it.

The previous crash on screen is what happens if you're doing a get instead of a post. I just declare my server app indestructible btw. Ffs!

I panic like I'm fucking drowning when going through git merge conflicts via command line

Massive panic attack much?

Does noone RTFM these days?

Got my first kernel panic after shifting to Linux. This will be interesting 😎

My boss told me(less than a year experience) I am the project lead now.... Makes me nervous that 10 minutes ago I was comment bitch/business analyst..... How much should I panic? He was serious and I command 20 people who have never used git

*Have idea.

*Start thinking about it.

*Start seriously thinking about it.

*Push yourself to do it.

*Have a mini unconscious panic attack that tells you you're gonna fail.

*Do something else completely unrelated to what you wanted to do.

*Feel good about the meaningless shit you just achieved.

*Recognize you're procrastinating.

*Try to stop.

*You can't cause you're stupid and lack the control and discipline to trick your own mind.

*Watch video about how to overcome procrastination.

*Get a more firmer understanding of it.

*Realize you're a helpless piece of shit.

*Cry till dead inside.

*Resume daily mindless shit.

When I corrupted the keystore for my production android app apk. Oh the panic! I ended up uploading it again and telling the users to download the new app.

So last week I really fucked up

I had this new implementation that was supposedly to be integrating smoothly into the rest of the service. It depended on a serialized model made by a data scientist. I test it in local, in QA environment: no problem.

So, Friday, 4pm, I decide to deploy to production. I check once from the app: the service throw an error. Panic attack, my chief is at my desk, we triy to understand what went wrong. I make calls with cUrls: no problem. Everything seems fine. I recheck from the app again: no problem.
We dedice to let it in prod, as the feature work. I go get some beers with the guys, to celebrate the deploy.

Fast-forward the next morning, 11am, my phone ring: it's a colleague of my chief. "Please check Slack, a client is trying to use the feature, it's broken"

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

Panic attack again. I go to the computer, check the errors: two types of errors. One I can fix, the other from a missing package on the machine that the data guy used.

Needless to say, I had a fairly good weekend.

Lessons learned:
- make sure Dev, QA and Prod are exactly the same (use Ansible or Container)
- never deploy on a Friday afternoon if you don't have a quick way to revert

When your company lays off an architect responsible for building a dozen very important components, and then everyone is left in a panic trying to figure out how to fulfill support requests / bug fixes in a timely manner 😑

Cry and panic because they don't know the required technology to complete the task.

(We all go through this. Some people just cannot contain their emotions though).

I was skimming a FedEx page to track a shipment when out of the corner of my eye I see “Watch list” and almost had a merry little panic attack because I apparently did not get the requisite amount of sleep for rational thought.

FedEx, our ideas of watch list are very different.

i got mad and said i quit and now I'm having a panic attack

I don't have a life.

So I'm back at work on a Saturday afternoon (admittedly, I prefer this to staying home or going out to ... Clubbing? Idk what the youth does nowadays) and just about every sound frightens me. Like, I don't mind the squeaky building, but my hormones are off and just about everything sends me into a panic mode. (my mental health rn is... funny 😬) so, I was thinking, I should make something thay covers up the squeaks. Like, plays something classic over squeaks.

... Now, "psychopaths in your area" could use this to their advantage and direct their own music pieces. 👀

When fixing high CPU load and unresponsive servers is a simple restart. Ugh...

A primary investor in the company I work for drops by every few days and always smokes cigars in the coffee room and shuts the door..

My coffee and his cigar routines have never collided before today, I'm now trying to figure out the lowest impact server or utility I can shutdown that will cause enough panic to get him out.

On a doomed project. Nobody seems to know what anyone was suppose to have done last week, or the plan for this week.

I've warned them more times than I can count.

I could help, but I'll just sit here with my feet up, eating a snickers and watch them panic

Spent about six hours writing tests and coding a user log in system for a Rails app last night. Finally finished at around 2:00am. Commited, pushed and merged, then called it a night.

Woke up today and Postgres is refusing to play nice. Spent twenty mins or so fixing that and then ran rspec.... Two thirds of my tests are missing - everything I wrote last night. I check my code and sure enough, they aren't there.

Wild panic ensues for a solid 5 mins before I realise I didn't actually pull the updated master branch after deleting my feature branch last night.

Now I feel like an idiot, but a relieved one.

The panic when there are only two competent programmers in the scrum team, and PM says he is moving one to another team.

First rant! I hate being OnCall. I'm just out of college, give me some time to ramp up without these panic attacks.

What's the best scrum team name that you've heard?

My favorite is "Colonel Panic" (Kernel panic)

Almost burnout story? What about right now...

Customer was really positive about the new site we are creating for them then, out of the blue panic, they complain about features (calculations) which aren't implemented yet (they didn't provide any information for the calculation until 1 week ago.) And they complain that the site does not has any content

THAT IS RIGHT YOU DUMB FUCKS...
I can't magically create content for YOUR site...

Everybody relax! False alarm! The website wasn't down, I was still connected to the VPN.

So ... I'm just watching an anime (Musaigen no Phantom World) ... and this scene isn't related to the main plot. This is the intro of the third episode - the intros of the first two episodes were about the "phantoms", "illusions" ... :)

It starts with a blue screen and the little fairy (it's a phantom btw) said: "When the PC goes crazy, you panic quickly."

In the screenshot he says: "It is important to back up your data somewhere in case of an emergency."

A second screenshot is added in the comments.

Urgh. One key skill that wannabes seem to forget is patience. Patience, patience, patience. Don't panic, don't be lazy, be methodical. This is the way of the analytical computer scientist. Don't panic all over the place or make assumptions..

Some techs..

I'm freaked out like I have never been freaked out before. My pinky finger (don't know what the actual name for it is) started to get itchy about two days ago and steadily got worse and now it's gotten to the point that it's almost numb and vibrates constantly. I guess it's because I use my laptop's keyboard and repeatedly use Shift or Ctrl keys. Anyways just wanted to share my panicky day with you all and wish you healthy fingers.

P.S. I ordered an ergonomic keyboard just today but still, you know how much we need our fingers, I have the right to panic here!

I was working on a new feature for this legacy project.. Just minding my own buisness then all out of the blue I got an email from our client (before the email I exported the live database because I needed to reproduce a weird bug) saying the sync stopped working
<backstory>
The database needs to sync every 15 minutes because it has a master-master relationship with a 3rd party database..
</backstory>
So I was like shiiit! Did I do that!? So I checked the logs, nothing... I called the 3rd part to check if they have problems, nothing.. Then I checked the network logs... Again all fine... 30 nervous minutes later, I got a new mail... Saying it finally synced... Still have no clue what happened or if it ever was a problem... God damn clients man...

Was at a Saturn (tech store) a while ago, just in the area and browsing a bit, and then this: (see image, thanks C0D4)

This sort of shit happens all the time around here.

There was also my local Karlchens Backstube (bakery and café) where the drive-thru display had a green screen of death; I don't know why they used an insider build of windows. Or windows in general for a fucking DISPLAY SIGN. A FUCKING DISPLAY SIGN WITH JUST A STATIC IMAGE DISPLAYED.
(Image not revant)

Rant over.
Fucking hell.

Working hard to meet crazy deadline to finish last update before new product announcement to make it look better. Our CEO blabs about new top secret product at some conference throwing away all marketing efforts up to date and putting marketing team into panic mode. Result? They moved the announcement date without discussing it with development. Result? Our efforts and overtimes wasted and we are announcing product before it is ready. End result? I'm pissed so I wrote angry e-mail to our CEO. Wondering what will happen now :-) But with unfinished announced product and crazy deadlines they need me a lot more than I need them.

I don’t remember the first experience as I was a very small child, but I remember a very defining one: picture a 4yo just casually turning on the computer and playing a game.
My mother and sister find me out and panic because “oh no, turning it off it’s hard how will we do? Your father is working and can’t turn it off!”

Now picture the 4 yo saying “it’s easy, you just do this”, followed by him closing the game, launching the bash command to close the computer and going away.

I must have been so creepy in their eyes 😂

And then, the world collapsed

Are the hackathon groups for people with debilitating social anxiety?

Asking for a friend.

Today I went to a computer store,
I ran dir /s C:\ ( "ls -r /" equivalent for Linux, sorry GNU/Linux)
left it there
Hoping someone will panic thinking that computer has been hacked

Was running a script to create ~50 config tables for a project. Didn't check the connection on the window in SSMS. Ran the script against the production payroll db. Panic ensued.

Today was:
30% setting u partitions for arch
20% fixing typos that caused some kernel panic
20% trying to find a good resource for Squid
20% Giving up and reading the docs
10% choosing alcohol

I just wanna work on my personal projects which give me a valid excuse to look at smuggy anime girls

When you start your day with a kernel panic.

.titanic {
float: none;
}

Howto make people panic in 2019.

Switch off the router.

Helping a client to update their 5 years old payment system to support the new mobile PayPal library via Braintree.

Found out you need to install a server SDK that requires PHP 5.4.

Installed and then realised the server is still on PHP 5.3 (CentOS 6).

Panic.

Told my client that they require a new server just so that I don’t need to manage the PHP 5.3 to 5.4 update on their live server and I can install Node to use the Braintree NodeJS SDK 😇.
Feels like heaven.

Fb goes down, I wonder how frustrated they would be.

In This Rant: A mildly satisfying piece of mind story.

Using code to prove yourself right is a hell of a drug.

A few weeks ago I whipped up a tiny program that downloads configs from hardware we manage. Since the vendor's API documentation is hidden behind a pay wall, my method of extraction is different. It results in bigger files, but testing showed it to still be valid.

Enter today. Interns at work downloaded a config to load onto a spare machine and it won't work.

"TheCapeGreek, your configs don't work"

I was confused since I tested the files when I built it and it worked. I am also currently fleshing out that download utility's features so the fear that I've been wasting the past 2 weeks on improvements is looming.

Last 15 minutes of the day and nothing else to do so I figured I might as well whip up a string comparer. The smaller file's content is scattered in the big file so a direct diff won't work.

Code it all, quick hardcoded proof of concept code, bit it got the job done. I was right, my bigger file is still correct!

Turns out the issue was with the machine they were configuring. They found this out before I finished my test code, so I'm off the hook already, but it was good to have piece of mind haha!

What are the chances that you get busted by your manager and 3 team leaders you personally know when you are going to a job interview?

We have poor men’s silicon valley near universities. Our company’s one office moves to another university. By the one in a million luck, interview takes at the same building where our next office of my current company will be. Managers and team leaders are there to inspect the new office. I enter the building, see them near elevator. One of them see me, with panic i wave my hand to him. There is a distance of ten meters, I hide behind a column. The team leader who sees me waving thinks I am with them to inspect new office. He asks others why am I not coming with them as I learn later. I can not pretend to play along and catch up with them, due to panic and time of interview is soon already. They get into elevator and finally I dont have to hide anymore 😂.

I got into interview and c++ exam with that physcology. Little did they knew that I just completed CPP PRIMER book. I both rock interview and exam but lets see if they will return with a job offer. What a rollercoaster of emotions.
Note: I am on mobile now so can not give more juicy details for now, fingers are tired.

The panic when I overhear my colleague in a meeting "sure I can test it in prod but we normally don't do that..."

When you're panic attacks stop Midway as you realise you don't have the time to deal with that shit you know you need a break

Today I submitted my code without making sure it doesn't have any bugs because I was running out of time. Fuck.

Let's hope I'm brilliant and this works out.

Fuck fuck fuck! Vps doesn't boot after kernel update and has kernel panic..... Fml

When project managers are panicking and you know you are really so close from done, a few fixes and everything will fall into place. But manager is on your neck because "nothing is working" now you must take time to be their psychologist instead of working on what is actually making them panic 🙃 development is a rough space. One bug can stand in front of working products just like that

I really wanna say, please fuck off for a few hours. Thanks bye.

>Discovers a new low level profiling tool that could help us at work with stuck process debugging and gets all hyped
>Installs on test machine, tool doesn't work
>Wonders why. Oh. Needs a kernel module to work, compiled and loaded
>"Well, its my test machine... Guess that's no problem..." but... my hype died down a bit. Kernel module installation just for a new tool that aggregates all other commonly used tools? eh... Maybe it will blow me out of my shoes still

>Installs and loads the module
>Tool works. Turns out its just a htop-like tool, with shortcuts to launch specific other profiling tools like strace/ltrace/lsof/netstat/ss etc...
"Oh... That's boring. Maybe it has all those tools built in at least?"
>Tries to run ltrace - tool exits as ltrace is not installed

Lol
>Installs ltrace and launches tool again. Tries to ltrace a process and
>Nothing. Nothing happens. For seconds... Then kicks me off of SSH
WTF?
>Tries to ping machine... silence
Did... our net go down again? (Having issues due to a storm going over our area these few days)
>Pings google and... gets instant reply
More wtf
>Pings the hypervisor the machine was running on
Works like normal

Oh... Oh no. Please tell me it didn't!
>Logs into the hypervisor UI, checks machine state
Running OK
>Opens machine console aaaaand... Yep. Stacktrace as well as a lot of kernel mumbo-jumbo... It took the machine down to kernel panic.

I never went so quick from "We need this tool deployed everywhere" to "Omg I need to get rid of this crap as soon as possible" lol.

And just for those wondering, it was sysdig.

tfw 256MB isn't enough RAM to load a zImage from SD, decompress it elsewhere, then boot Linux on a 3DS. OOM panic when trying to init a null wlan driver.

so close yet so very fucking far

Linux.
I love you and hate you at the same time. If something breaks with the boot sequence, usually it involves using a live USB to fix the existing installation, which I directly did once I got a kernel panic.

Checked out the hard disk uuids (I was partitioning), tried chrooting but couldn't get further. Then, I booted again into the faulty Linux installation and the frikkin page said I had to run fsck on my harddrive manually. Did that in the handy provided terminal and guess what, it boots again.

Linux, you can't help people who assume issues, like me. I still like you though

Shit.

Thought I had turned off the stove after making dinner but seems it stayed on.

Thankfully the kitchen automatically turns off after a set time, so only the pan and a couple nearby things were lost.

Still, seems some electric wire in the extractor got wrecked because the kitchen line breaker is down and won't go up.

Waking up to your house full of smoke really sends you into panic mode...

Panic. 😟

I received two emails today inviting me for video call interviews at two companies I applied to.

I am supposed to select a date for this week or next week, but our office resumes work on Monday, the 7th.

I only have tomorrow and the day after (3rd and 4th) left for this week. I need time to prepare, so I am thinking of booking one for 4th and one for next week.

BUT

I am trying not to start the year by skipping work. I already skipped work in December because of a brief illness (lol).

I am thinking, if I go to work on that day, I might get summoned into a meeting and miss my interview. So, I have concluded that I will have to skip work on that day, but now I can't think of excuses.

Ideas? 🤔

Third fucking kernel panic today and the nvidia drivers are still not working

Feck. My brain bluescreened during a coding interview and I had a major panic attack. No clue what or why it happened. FML.

I will literally give half a million us dollars to anyone who programms an AI that can study and pass exams for me and that in a manner that I will get away with. Help!

I prefer to pay in bitcoin.

That moment of panic when you think you have done nothing all day before you remember that you integrated 2 libraries AND contributed back with a PR of feature enhancements. Today was a good day!

I fucked up big time and I think I'm having a panic attack.

If you ever need to perform CPR, just remember “Two Trucks Having Sex” song by Lemon Demon and stick to the rhythm. It’s 115bpm, just right for CPR.

At the moment of panic, this song will be with you. I know it.

Worst prod scenario experienced - on site in small African country working on CRM/billing system my colleague was testing some new SQL and after finishing decided to drop and recreate the DB. She thinks the process is very slow and suddenly realizes she is dropping the prod DB. In a panic she shuts down the system and starts doing a restore from tape, but is so stressed out she writes "tar cv" instead of "tar xv" and overwrites the backup with the broken DB. Took a while to clean that one up...

Whoops.

At least it tried to boot.

A word of advice:
If you integrate email verification very tightly in the registration flow, it will be a world of pain to implement changing the email address.
It's alright, I didn't want to do anything this afternoon anyway.

"Do you actually understand what you are typing??"
What's your best saracastic answer to a non programmer asking this?
I find it so absurd I kernel panic.

So I installed the JACK audio connection kit on my Linux box, set up drivers, configured routings properly, etc etc.

Tried playing basic sounds. No output. Panic.

Redid configuration, tried again. No output. Panic++

Reinstalled JACK, tried again. No output. Panic++

Reinstalled drivers and checked ALSA (audio subsystem). All good. Tried again. No output. Panic++

Hit the Mute shortcut on my keyboard to unmute my speakers, tried again. Worked. :facepalm:

I am such an idiot, fml.

Fucking panic!
First thing I see when I wake up today is an email from my colleague. It says we've lost a hell of a lot of user uploaded files in ALPHABETICAL ORDER. Also, it happened TUESDAY NIGHT.

This will be fun...

First time experiencing kernel panic, I guess 2018 wont be that good 😕

A month ago,me and my two friends where working on a Android app and we were using firebase for database.We did some changes and ran the app.We got a blank screen!In panic we made some changes in database and did half an hour of debugging, then we realised what's wrong!
.
.
.
.
Actually one of my friend accidently switched off the WiFi that's why data wasn't loading and we got a blank screen

my machine panic

I average 2000 emails in my inbox a month. Mostly things telling me they are ok, I now know when to expect emails and worry if the are delayed.

When you finally began to trust Google Maps and suddenly GPS losts...

The coffee/food room on my floor is absurd.

On day, the Keurig machines, microwave oven and convection oven all disappeared. Turns out they were owned by some employees and when they moved to an other floor they took their stuff with them.

In the caffeine-deprived panic that ensued, a bunch of other employees pooled together some money and went across the street to purchase new applicances.

They now charge us 5¢ for each packet of sugar or milk/cream cup. And they announced it with a passive-aggressive poster with an angry dog on it.

How to conduct yourself in a job interview
Simple test"Write a for loop".
First, write some nonsense bullshit for twenty minutes. Then, when you realize time is up, pass to the next question. After write more nonsense bullshit in SQL and jQuery, it's time to breath fast and panic.
Deliver your exam.
Pack your stuff and go to a cave where nobody ever will find you, cry the next three years and commit to a life of self punishment, shame and tears.
That's how you nail a job interview, suckers.

*Sent an email with misspelled person's name*

This just in: Panic attack

I need a good programming game for Android, and I need it now! (Stuck at a party)

The feeling of dread as still a semi-junior sysadmin when an app doesn't work after an update.

I got stressed, triple-checked everything that I changed and that I followed all steps of the documentation of the upgrade process, then, as a last step before going over in half-panic mode to my boss, I try to restart the stupid java app and it starts working.

Wtf. Why. Why didn't it work the first time I started it? D:

When a client (that I’m building an admin dashboard for) calls me in a panic and tells me all their servers are down and asks me to fix them.

Of course I don’t even have access to their DevOps stuff, but I get access from them, log on, and...

Fix the issue in 2 minutes!

You know, because I’m a baller and I do baller shit.

✌🏼

when the client's consultant try to micro manage the project and create panic on the whole team... fml

I hate ot when your client has access to new relic and they panic and start creating critical issues when the linux db server is is 80% memory..

After a 2h conference call the client said he was going to contact a 3rd party dba because he didn't believe it was normal.

There's this odd thing that I'm experiencing in the moment of falling asleep.
I somehow remain conscious and can feel how the unconscious part of my brain opens a sort of portal to a dream world. I begin to hear sounds and my speed of thinking becomes slower.
That's when I get a panic attack and I am trying it again. After the 2nd or 3rd try, it usually works and I wake up in the next morning as if nothing happened and the cycle repeats again lol

That makes me wonder if a "healthy" way of dying will have this sort of transition as well.

Got a new Mac from work, wanted to do some magazine editing so downloaded Scribus.

I begin to panic because most of the top toolbar icons were not visible. I figured it was bugged.

Okay, calm, it's still vaguely usable with shortcuts and menu. But damn this sucks.

Oh,

They just haven't adapted the program to work with system wide dark theme.

That, that would be why.

Here it comes! The annual Mac Os X upgrade, fuckup and clean install! 48 hours of thrilling hoping to get things done and lovely boot piano sound three times in a row!
Hope you burn, motherfuckers. Burn and suffer at least the same amount of hours (days!) I've been trying to fix your cheesy, crappy, weak silver garbage. I have lumps in my back which lasts longer than your technology. Go kernel panic your greedy narrow view asses.

I know I've been spending way too much time in doors programming because I had a panic attack while at the grocery store. I've never had one in a long time.

That moment stack overflow is down for maintenance.... *panic increases*

1. Update some packages
2. Linux machine stops working soon after
3. Panic
4. Go get windows machine to help me troubleshoot the issue
5. Starts windows update on startup
6. Panic some more

Thesis Defense is coming this end of the month. Panic mode. What to say, what's not, what's right, what's left. 😂

Checked my old works inbox.
84 emails lol, panic.
I am no longer there for you.
Bai.

Need to just rant this out a bit. Funny how close stress works as a panic attack

Panic of the year: I have to take way more holidays than last year.
Problem : I find holidays extremely boring and I don’t really get tired.

>Raspberry Pi on 16GB SD card
>Plugs in 2 flash drives for space, one 8GB and one 32GB
>8GB is allocated entirely for swap
>32GB is separated into 3 partitions and /etc/fstab edited to mount them on /home, /opt and /usr
>Moves files to the proper partitions on stick
>Kernel panic on boot before keyboard is enabled, kernel panic data taller than screen
>No R/W FS for kernel to dump to
fuck my life

Which fucking cunt keeps thinking putting redo on ctrl+shift+z or some other retarded shortcut is a good idea

Lost a whole paragraph of technical explanation because I didn't realize and then couldn't redo my panic undo 😠

OMG.. Chrome 58 got released.. Bye bye drm on non-https websites.. #panic

!rant, just asking the wise devRant community for advice:
What is a good laptop that works well with linux? Thanks in advance :)

To Mac fan boys... Suck it. In the time I've had 1 BSOD on Windows 10 I've had 7 kernel panic on Mac is x at work. And the MBP is newer.

Starting to panic because live system was serving 404.html quite often.

It's just the ID of a content page 😅

Today someone found a 0 day in our trialware which allowed some of the main features to work even after its expiry.
I mean what do you expect when you create a shady system for trialware.
It was fun to watch the lead dev of the trialware panic when it was confirmed.

Tomorrow's standup is gonna be fun.

After all the rants I've written on this topic, no, no, fuck no. I ain't answering jackshit. The trauma is very real. I'm trying to not have a panic attack just remembering few of the times I've lost work, personal data, side projects, accounts, you name it.
Oh dear God it's hard to breathe...

> be me
> change theme in vscode
> syntax highlighter stops working for php
> panic mode
> removed personal settings for php
> removed all settings
> back on default
> ohshitno.xml
> find a github issue, marked as closed
> sleep
> wake up
> start working
> cannot work without syntax highlight
> find another github issue, saying the theme I want doesn't supports syntax highlighting
> fml.xml
> back on default