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As a developer, sometimes you hammer away on some useless solo side project for a few weeks. Maybe a small game, a web interface for your home-built storage server, or an app to turn your living room lights on an off.
I often see these posts and graphs here about motivation, about a desire to conceive perfection. You want to create a self-hosted Spotify clone "but better", or you set out to make the best todo app for iOS ever written.
These rants and memes often highlight how you start with this incredible drive, how your code is perfectly clean when you begin. Then it all oscillates between states of panic and surprise, sweat, tears and euphoria, an end in a disillusioned stare at the tangled mess you created, to gather dust forever in some private repository.
Writing a physics engine from scratch was harder than you expected. You needed a lot of ugly code to get your admin panel working in Safari. Some other shiny idea came along, and you decided to bite, even though you feel a burning guilt about the ever growing pile of unfinished failures.
All I want to say is:
No time was lost.
This is how senior developers are born. You strengthen your brain, the calluses on your mind provide you with perseverance to solve problems. Even if (no, *especially* if) you gave up on your project.
Eventually, giving up is good, it's a sign of wisdom an flexibility to focus on the broader domain again.
One of the things I love about failures is how varied they tend to be, how they force you to start seeing overarching patterns.
You don't notice the things you take back from your failures, they slip back sticking to you, undetected.
You get intuitions for strengths and weaknesses in patterns. Whenever you're matching two sparse ordered indexed lists, there's this corner of your brain lighting up on how to do it efficiently. You realize it's not the ORMs which suck, it's the fundamental object-relational impedance mismatch existing in all languages which causes problems, and you feel your fingers tingling whenever you encounter its effects in the future, ready to dive in ever so slightly deeper.
You notice you can suddenly solve completely abstract data problems using the pathfinding logic from your failed game. You realize you can use vector calculations from your physics engine to compare similarities in psychological behavior. You never understood trigonometry in high school, but while building a a deficient robotic Arduino abomination it suddenly started making sense.
You're building intuitions, continuously. These intuitions are grooves which become deeper each time you encounter fundamental patterns. The more variation in environments and topics you expose yourself to, the more permanent these associations become.
Failure is inconsequential, failure even deserves respect, failure builds intuition about patterns. Every single epiphany about similarity in patterns is an incredible victory.
Please, for the love of code...
Start and fail as many projects as you can.31
preface: I'm fucking exhausted and angry.
Why does everyone assume I know how to do frontend?
Why am I always the design girl?
You hire me to do backend. STOP GIVING ME FRONTEND DESIGN CRAP. I HATE IT.
AND STOP GODDAMN YELLING AT ME FOR NOT MAKING SOMETHING RESPONSIVE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW.
yes i can learn, but I CAN'T FUCKING PICK UP A SKILL LIKE THAT IN A DAY. Also, I fucking hate it.
STICK IT UP YOUR (min-width: 1400px) ASS.
But seriously, I've spent 13 hours today figuring out completely new things (webpack, susy, express.js, cloudinary, responsive best practices, more webpack) because the boss is in panic-mode (his preferred state) and wants this project released last monday.
guess what? it isn't done.
because i still don't know how to do everything. and ofc there's nobody to ask because there never fucking is.
Seriously, boss-man. hire a fucking designer, and stop being an illiterate sales goon while you're at it. ffs.60
Yesterday's JR web dev interview:
👶: Well JS, pyhton, UX Design and bit of Sass.
👨🏻💻: Feel like you'll have a hard time learning PHP?
👶: Well if it needs to be PHP, I can learn it.. Are you using a certain CMS?
👨🏻💻: Cool, good. Yeah we're using WordPress and need to support our sites for IE8.
👶:... Well.. ehm.. *runs away and screams in panic 💨*20
Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!
*sitcom audience cheers*
Thank you, thank you. Ok so far we've had a developer from hell and a CEO who shot to fame for being the first rectum to receive a passport and be given a job.
2 pretty strong entrants if you ask me. But its time to slow it down and make sure everyone gets a fair chance. Its not all just about the psychopaths and assholes, what about the general weirdo's and the stoners who just made life awkward?
So here we go, Most incompetent co-worker, candidate 3, "A".
"A" was a bit of an unusual developer, despite having a few years experience in his home country, he applied for an unpaid internship to come work with us ... probably should have rang alarm bells but hey we were all young and dumb back then.
I had to say I felt very bad for A, as he suffered from 2 very serious, and job crippling personal conditions / problems
- Email induced panic attacks
- Extreme multifaceted attachment disorder (also known in layman terms as "get the fuck away from me, and do your job" syndrome)
While he never openly discussed these conditions, it was clear from working with him, that he had gone undiagnosed for years. Every time an email would come in no matter how simple ... even the services team asking to confirm his staff ID, would send him into a panic causing him to drop everything he was doing and like a homing missile find me anywhere in the building and ask me what to do.
Actually "A" also suffered from a debilitating literacy issue too, leaving him completely unable to read our internal wiki's himself. Every week we had to follow a set of steps to upgrade something and every week to mask his issue, he'd ask me what to do instead ... no matter how many times I sat with him previously ... must have been truly embarrassing for him.
But "A"'s finest moment in the company, by far, was the day where out of the blue, at the top of his voice (as if wearing headphones ... without wearing headphones) he asked
"DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO SELLS POT?"
... why no, manager of the entire department standing behind you, I do not
... why no, tech lead talking to manager, I do not
... why hello 50% of my team staring at me ... no "A", I do not!
Needless to say all our team meetings were a little awkward for the next few weeks after that but hey who doesn't like being thought of as a stoner / drug dealer by their team mates huh?
Will A make it to the top of the list of most incompetent? Well he has some truly logic defining competition yet to be announced.
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!19
TL;DR: Got a really horrible supervisor temporarily fired, maybe permanently fired, got a laptop, and realized that senior devs are amazing when they stand up for the little guys
Omg... I love my coworkers!!! So like, I'm an incredibly shy dev, like, I only managed to get my internship purely because of my familiarity with c#, Android/UWP app development (although never apple, which you can read about in my last rant lol), and the API Management framework that they were using, so, long stories short, I'm insanely shy and I get anxious quite quickly in social situations, that'll be important in a bit. Anyways, so, in my previous rant (my first one actually, it was "that" bad...) I had a run-in with a rather unfair supervisor situation where he expected me to work on an iOS app without a Mac machine.
So, this is currently a little bit before my shift end, where I'm anxiously trying to get a MacOS VM up and running to be able to copy paste some psudo-code so as not to get in trouble, which is when the senior dev of the team walks by and sees me tearing hair out of my head and being really sad. So what does this god amongst men do?
He comes over and asks me what I'm doing.
Now, I didn't actually notice him, so when he asked me, I was insanely jumpy and scared that my supervisor would appear and be mad at me for not having things done, so I kind of half scream half yelp when he says something, so now he knows somethings up and he acts kind of like I'm an injured deer and slowly asks what's going on.
So, of course I tell him everything that had happened and how the supervisor got really mad about me not being able to develop iOS apps due to not having a Mac, and his expectation of me to get it magically working and getting to work on my module, and the selenium portal automatization, and after a couple seconds of me rapid fire nervous squirrel-like explanation, he holds up a hand and says "He what?!!!!? God dammit, how the hell are you supposed to do that? Jesus, you were supposed to get a company laptop when you got here, where's that??? And if you don't have that then how the hell were you working on the cross platform portion? You need a Mac machine for that, so let me get this straight... You've been frantically trying to find a workaround so that AS (let's call him AS for asshat supervisor (missing an s)) doesn't get mad at you... Who the hell... And this fuckers in charge of the interns??"
He was incredibly pissed off at this point, like, REALLY pissed off... But-
This man had just spoken miracles to me.
So I do what any self respecting intern would do, I start cry laughing and hug said BSD for a quick second (badass senior developer), and I say yep, pretty much ;-;.
And queue AS walking into my workspace and saying
AS- "are you done with the iOS a..."
BSD- "You've got to be kidding me, shut up for a second and sit down"
AS- "?" *Sits*
Me- *hides in corner and cinches up hoodie*
BSD- "Excuse me, but what did you ask benlion to do?"
AS- "Um, I simply told him to start working on the Xamarin app"
BSD- "Yes, but according to benlion, you angrily told him to start working on the Mac portion... Let me ask you something first, why would you do that? It's rude and inappropriate to be hostile to anyone at the workplace, in fact, if he wants to pursue to matter, you can get demoted, actually, if he wants to pursue it, you're fired, and there's no way I'm letting you get a management job again"
AS -"Wow, did benlion really say that? He's obviously lying due to his dislike for me, BSD, it's rather unfair to take his word over his superv..."
BSD-"Oh you did NOT just go there. That's it, stay here. And benlion, come with me." *Points at me*
Me- *Terrified out of my mind, almost to the point of a nervous breakdown because of the argument that I had started* "O-okay o_O"
Long stories short, we come back with his supervisor and he is now relieved of his duties temporarily while this whole thing gets settled...
Oh, and I get my Apple Laptop tomorrow ^-^ so I'm really happy, albeit kind of sad that its my fault that AS doesn't have a job right now ;-;, but he did yell at me and expect incredibly impossible things of me, so, not as bad as I might feel.26
So my manager (a 29 y/o, who hardly can use a mac) walks towards me with a hint of panic in his eyes.
Manager: Hey commander keen, do you know how to use vertical look up in excel, I've tried, and looked at tutorials.
Me: yeah I really don't know excel (and not willing to learn, especially on the fly), I don't even have excel installed, I can write I script that does what you want.
Manager: No you have enough on your plate
3 hours later
Manager: hey I still can't figure it out, could you solve it with a script, won't that take to long
Me: no send me the files, Ill do it with a script.
I start writing 2 for loops and wait for the file, 10 ish minutes later its basicly done, just need to put in the column indexes.
I send a message on both slack channels (hey are you going to email or slack me the file)
After a hour I walk to his desk and again ask him for the file.
Manager a good 2 hours later on slack: Hey I just send you the file, I hope its not to much work, it has to happen asap.
So if you have kids, and they are not that bright by some kind of birth defect, don't worry, they can always become a manager.
But you can't get me down today. I hit 2000 upvotes and the employer is unknowingly a proud sponsor for reading and writing all these rants and comments :-) thnx devrant8
Your profession changes how you think.
Coding did the same for me. Some good, some bad.
I know which problems in life are worth trying to solve.
And I'm very good at solving those problems.
I can analyse a situation accurately. I don't get emotional and panic.
I can immediately identify logical flaws in people's thinking.
I can identify biases in others and myself.
I tend to follow simple instructions to the letter and rarely improvise based on reality.
When my wife tells me her problem I try to solve it instead of empathizing - which is what she really wants.
I haven't developed street smarts or the ability to convince people with anything other than logic - but people are more emotional than logical.
I'm not good at small talk.15
Small agency, wants to try out some voice tech. Bought a Google AIY to get started, found some limits, worked round them.
Junior developer thought it would be fun to 'teach' it to swear.
Played around with some nice dialogflow intents, etc and got it all working.
Looking pretty good, loaded it with some quippy answers and case studies to show off our services.
Just got in to find out the boss has taken it to a presentation to a client about some of the new stuff we're doing... Now we are all sitting here waiting to see how many of us have a job tomorrow :-/17
Does anyone else have that one guy or gal you work with that's ALWAYS the one to find the weirdest, inexplicable bugs possible? Yup. That's me. Here's some fun examples.
*Unplugs monitor from laptop, causing kernel panic*
*Mouse moves in reverse when inside canvas*
*Program fails to compile, yet compiler blames a syntax error that doesn't exist*
*malloc on the first line of a program causes a segfault*
And for how the conversation usually goes
Me: "[coworker], mind taking a look at this?"
Coworker: "Sure.This better not be another one of 'your bugs'. ... ... ... Well, if you need me I'll be at my desk."
Me: "So you know what's causing it?"
Coworker: "Nope. I've accepted that you're cursed and you should do the same."11
Friend: "You are good with computers right?"
Friend: "Can you put an eye on my computer? Mint crash at every startup"
Me: (Oh Linux! For this time ok) "Yeah, show me"
My friend open the pc...
Pc: "KERNEL PAAAAANIC!"
Me: ".... WTF!?"
Friend: "Can you repair this?"
That was a long day...
(My friend closed the lid without the drivers and then the pc from the standby did not wake up correctly)6
Navy story time, and this one is lengthy.
As a Lieutenant Jr. I served for a year on a large (>100m) ship, with the duties of assistant navigation officer, and of course, unofficial computer guy. When I first entered the ship (carrying my trusty laptop), I had to wait for 2 hours at the officer's wardroom... where I noticed an ethernet plug. After 15 minutes of waiting, I got bored. Like, really bored. What on TCP/IP could possibly go wrong?
So, scanning the network it is. Besides the usual security holes I came to expect in ""military secure networks"" (Windows XP SP2 unpatched and Windows 2003 Servers, also unpatched) I came along a variety of interesting computers with interesting things... that I cannot name. The aggressive scan also crashed the SMB service on the server causing no end of cute reactions, until I restarted it remotely.
But me and my big mouth... I actually talked about it with the ship's CO and the electronics officer, and promptly got the unofficial duty of computer guy, aka helldesk, technical support and I-try-to-explain-you-that-it-is-impossible-given-my-resources guy. I seriously think that this was their punishment for me messing around. At one time I received a call, that a certain PC was disconnected. I repeatedly told them to look if the ethernet cable was on. "Yes, of course it's on, I am not an idiot." (yea, right)
So I went to that room, 4 decks down and 3 sections aft. Just to push in the half-popped out ethernet jack. I would swear it was on purpose, but reality showed me I was wrong, oh so dead wrong.
For the full year of my commission, I kept pestering the CO to assign me with an assistant to teach them, and to give approval for some serious upgrades, patching and documenting. No good.
I set up some little things to get them interested, like some NMEA relays and installed navigation software on certain computers, re-enabled the server's webmail and patched the server itself, tried to clean the malware (aka. Sisyphus' rock), and tried to enforce a security policy. I also tried to convince the CO to install a document management system, to his utter horror and refusal (he was the hard copy type, as were most officers in the ship). I gave up on almost all besides the assistant thing, because I knew that once I left, everything would go to the high-entropy status of carrying papers around, but the CO kept telling me that would be unnecessary.
"You'll always be our man, you'll fix it (sic)".
What could go wrong?
I got my transfer with 1 week's notice. Panic struck. The CO was... well, he was less shocked than I expected, but still shocked (I learned later that he knew beforehand, but decided not to tell anybody anything). So came the most rediculous request of all:
To put down, within 1 A4 sheet, and in simple instructions, the things one had to do in order to fulfil the duties of the computer guy.
I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.
"What I can do is write: 'Please read the following:', followed by the list of books one must read in order to get some introductory understanding of network and server management, with most accompanying skills."
I was so glad I got out of that hellhole.8
-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
-What mood is that?
Tested on local work perfectly,
Push to production
CPU went up to 100%, process alive but all services down.
Try to think of what would be the cause.
With no hope, i restarted the service again.
Everything works as expected.
I still dont know what happened. :/7
Been awake for like 18 hours.
Ok one last push to gitlab.
*Gitlab offline* welp, guess ill do that later, time for some sleep.
*Reads their status on twitter about data loss* (panic)
>Be me, have doctor's appointment
>Call in late for work
>Assistant asks to put in pupil dilation drops before checkup
>Have to wait half an hour before solution settles
>Already late and this sucks
>Squeezes lemons in my eyes. Lemon with a 's'
>Wait for 15 minutes and next round of lemon squeezing
>r/InstantRegret for visiting doc
>Half an hour and cannot see anything in short sight
>Doc checks by penetrating laser in my eye
>All good but feel giddy
>Doc says I will not be able to see in short sight for at least two hours
>Panic mode on
>Somehow boards first bus
>Switch to next bus
>Traffic and blindness kills
>Just one stop before, bus gets into terrible accident
>A kid hurt badly
>Alight and catch auto-rickshaw
>Low on cash but reach office late
>Still blind af
>10000 hours later barely able to see
>Navigate holding side bars
>No work all day
>Regret coming to office
>Eye sight returns
>Sees crush and gets triggered like always
>Spend time with office bro
>Panic mode off
>Passes time and leaves for home
>Reach home and post the story
TL;DR: what a shit fuck lazy day.48
My day: Eight lines of refactoring around a 10-character fix for a minor production issue. Some tests. Lots of bloody phone calls and conference calls filled with me laughing and getting talked over. Why? Read on.
My boss's day: Trying very very hard to pin random shit on me (and failing because I'm awesome and fuck him). Six hours of drama and freaking out and chewing and yelling that the whole system is broken because of that minor issue. No reading, lots of misunderstanding, lots of panic. Three-way called me specifically to bitch out another coworker in front of me. (Coworker wasn't really in the wrong.) Called a contractor to his house for testing. Finally learned that everything works perfectly in QA (duh, I fixed it hours ago). Desperately waited for me to push to prod. Didn't care enough to do production tests afterwards.
My day afterwards: hey, this Cloudinary transform feature sounds fun! Oh look, I'm done already. Boo. Ask boss for update. Tests still aren't finished. Okay, whatever. Time for bed.
what a joke.
Oh, I talked to the accountant after all of this bullshit happened. Apparently everyone that has quit in the last six years has done so specifically because of the boss. Every. single. person.
I told him it was going to happen again.
I also told him the boss is a druggie with a taste for psychedelics. (It came up in conversation. Absolutely true, too.) It's hilarious because the company lawyer is the accountant's brother.
I have a telephone headset with a "confusing" mute button. Sometimes it works normally, but quite often it will "double-toggle" (toggle twice as though I pressed it twice, which essentially has no effect) - so I'm either left muted or left un-muted, the same as before I pressed the button at all - so I have to press it again, sometimes several times, for it to actuary work.
While I'm at my desk, I have a visual indicator of mute status (a light that turns green for un-muted or red for muted), so I can easily tell if my mic is hot or not. My old headset had a nice audible beep reminder if I was muted, but the new headset? Nope, not-so-much.
I work from home, while my wife works at an office; so each morning she leaves, but I stay in the home office. I almost always see her off one way or another, usually doing or saying something funny as she heads out.
So, one day, I'm on a large conference call with a number of cross-team managers, and my wife is about to head out the door. With the meeting droning on in my headset, I was in the kitchen with her for a while helping finish clean up after breakfast and getting her ready to go.
She needed to pack an ice-pack for some reason, and for the random humor of it, I start screaming something to the effect of "GIMMIE YO ICE PACKS - GIMMIE ALLLL YO ICE PACKS - YEAH! YEAH! IMMA PUT MY BAAAAAAAAALLLLLS ON IT - WHOOOOOOOOO!"
During which time I am jumping around like a crazy person, including actually grabbing one of the ice packs, putting it down the front of my pants and screaming. Loudly.
It was after my own screaming I overheard more than one person yelling on the bridge line "YOU'RE NOT MUTED! YOU'RE NOT MUTED!"
I have seldom felt such raw, unadulterated panic.
I rushed back to my home office - yes, the green light is on my desk - my mic is hot. When I pressed mute at some point earlier in the call, it double-toggled, leaving me un-muted, and I never knew.
Even more embarrassing was the chat session I saw on my computer screen. It was from my manager (one of the managers on the call) - he had pinged me several times while I was in the kitchen.
It read something like:
hey, you there?
is that your phone
I think your phone isn't muted
is that you?
did you just say balls?11
Dells XPS are made of magic. [long story, major fuckup, 10k+ damages]
It all started in December. One morning I was late to work, drove there as fast as possible. (I live like 3 minutes away so me being late really meant *late*) Parked my car in a secluded car park, grabbed my backpack and ran to work. The car park is like 100 meters away from work so I took my feet into my hands and ran. Next thing I know my heels loose all grip while I go down a small slope and I drop on my back full force. On a sharp edged stone. With only my 1700$ XPS in it. Fuck.
I paniced, but got up and ran to work. I checked on the notebook, praying it would boot. It booted! Holy shit. I flipped the notebook and saw two small dents in the aluminum shell. I was thorougly impressed. I later discovered that it left a small shadow on the display, but given what a hit that was (I am not exactly a lightweight), impressive would be a massive understatement.
Fast forward to February, I am weighing my options to get the screen replaced maybe, as damage on my hardware (even if neglectable) triggers some sort of OCD and makes me feel bad 24/7. Also my laptop tends to shut off from time to time, looked into the Event Viewer and saw kernel panic. I figured that the battery probably still took a hit and that it drops voltage from time to time and the kernel assumes a critical situation, thus shutting off.
It stayed quite snowy in Austria up until March, so occasional snowing wasn't rare. Got out of work one day, saw it snowed a bit. Whatever. I had my moms car at the time, so I tried if it would slide a bit if I donut on the now (5pm) empty parking space. Nothing. Drove done a small hill, ABS triangle lit up red (board computer can't outbalance the snow). I drove out to the main street where everything was salted and drove along towards my house. Took a turn into my street, accelerated for a bit and then went off the gas so the car would smoothly drive along with the speed slowly degrading. So I went off the gas and noticed I was a bit to the right, no wonder, centrifugal forces.
"Huh seems like I need a bit more"
*car still doesnt move much*
"What the- go to the left!"
*steers left hard*
"Fuck that wall is coming closer"
*car doesnt break*
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"
Everything got quiet in seconds, me waking up to an open airbag, ripped pants, a hurting wrist, the radio somewhere on the ground and fumes that smellt like burning wires. I grabbed my backpack that was now somewhere on the floor instead of on the seat and ran outside, tears in my eyes and the phone on my ear calling my mom. I walked inside as she walked outside, hearing a weeping scream that I haven't heard from her since I am alive. While walking inside I noticed my backpack was wet on the bottom, my 2 litre water jug shattered when my backpack hit the dashboard. I tried to stay calm and act rational, knowing that every second counts when It comes to water damage. I hastely searched for some rice and a bag to put my laptop into, stuffed the bag with both and went outside. The car was totaled, my mom pissed and crying. And I was in shock, sad, angry and hurting.
I kept the laptop on my heater for a few days, bagged in rice. I dared to try a boot after a while and you wont believe me, it fucking booted. Even the keyboard backlight worked, just the screen was obviously broken in the back (no color distortion or bad pixel rows though!!) and the aluminum shell had a dent on the front. I talked with Dell Support a few days later, asking if it would be ok to open the XPS up so I could drain all of the water. She said yes thats fine, as long as I dont touch anything or screw around with it.
She said I can send it in and get it checked, but the pickup and analysis will cost 150$ and I can go from there.
I sent it in and estimated that, because battery, screen and other things probably needed changing, it will be around 900$.
Got a call a few weeks later:
"Hello beggarboy, the repair team reported back to us and said that they will have to replace everything, which will be 1700$."
"Fuck... Buying a new one is cheaper.."
"Yeah I know I am sorry about that, I can offer you a voucher so you can buy a new one for 250$ off if you would prefer that"
"Sorry but I will need some time to consider"
The agent clearly noticed I was bummed about it.
After going back and forth what to do I got another call a few days later.
"Hello beggarboy, we talked a few days ago. I have good news"
"Hello, yes, speak up?"
"I was able to get a special offer for you after putting in a few words..."
The next thing she said seemed unreal to me.
She was able to cut 600$ (!!!), making the new offer 1100$, instead of 1700$ or a new one for 1500$. I figured the reason she probably did that was because I am always very polite with support members. Always.
My XPS is back and healty again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dells XPS are made of magic.15
"We don't need that network profile for this interface anymore."
*40+ virtual machines lose network connectivity*
"Huh. That shouldn't have happened...Well, I gotta catch my flight. Machoog, you got this?"
My company does estimates in two ways.
1. Sales person just throws a number out there, always short, and we panic code to make it happen before the client decides twice as long isn't worth it.
2. The devs are told to give an estimate before having a chance to find out all the requirements, THEN ARE TOLD THEY ESTIMATED TOO HIGH AND TO LOWER THE NUMBER!
FUCK THE ESTIMATING!!! GIVE US TIME AND ACCEPT OUR ESTIMATES!! SALES PEOPLE DONT HAVE TO STAY UP IF WE NEED TO CRAM!!9
A few years ago:
In the process of transferring MySQL data to a new disk, I accidentally rm'ed the actual MySQL directory, instead of the symlink that I had previously set up for it.
My guts felt like dropping through to the floor.
In a panic, I asked my colleague: "What did those databases contain?"
C: "Raw data of load tests that were made last week."
Me: "Oh.. does that mean that they aren't needed anymore?"
C: "They already got the results, but might need to refer to the raw data later... why?"
Me: "Uh, I accidentally deleted all the MySQL files... I'm in Big Trouble, aren't I?"
C: "Hmm... with any luck, they might forget that the data even exists. I got your back on this one, just in case."
Luck was indeed on my side, as nobody ever asked about the data again.5
What a shit fuck of a day...
I woke up tired without enough sleep.
Then all of a sudden anxiety triggered in and I had a panic attack without any reason.
That irritates me beyond anything.
After all the morning struggle, I reached office and bam!!! My system has is turned off.
WHO FUCKING DID THIS???? WHO THE FUCK TURNED OFF MY SYSTEM ABRUPTLY?
I lost some of my work and setup.
Well, no worries. Let's turn it on.
Guess what? The network wouldn't connect.
Aaarrrgghhhh!!!!! Rage fit.
Tried turning it on and off. Did everything. No success.
Raised a ticket and network guys are friends so they helped me.
After diagnosis, we realise that this is not a network issue as system is working on static IP and even desk phone works fine.
Contacted the desktop team. They said try connecting on another desk.
Well fuck you lazy piece of monkey shit!!
Removed all the cables and tried on neighbouring desk.
This doesn't work you shit head. I told him to help but bugger left because he had some another important meeting.
Now I am stuck without network. Time to play some games before my manager fucks me up for wasting time.
I see no good thing happening today. But I found this while on Chrome.
I think it's Terry's birthday. Happy birthday Terry!!!17
I was in a public place on my laptop, and my laptop went into hibernation to save battery. I switched it back on and then the laptops BIOS came up saying that the battery was critically low, nothing bad here.
Instead of clicking continue, I decided to press "Diagnostics" instead. The diagnostics immediately began to run in the BIOS.
The screen began to show different coloured bars and patterns, obviously a screen test. Then a prompt appeared asking me if coloured bars were displayed. The options were yes and no, and a button saying "Exit" in the top right. Me, not wanting to do a full diagnostics on such a low battery, pressed exit.
The screen turned black, and then flashed red. The beeper on the motherboard began to beep at an ear-piercing volume. It sounded as if it was a bomb about to go off. Everyone around me stared and some people began to even panic. I tried switching it off by holding the power button but nothing was happening. People were just staring all around me.
After about 10 seconds, the beeping stopped and the screen displayed an error message similar to this:
"CRITICAL ERROR: Monitor test FAILED.
No user input was provided."
Moral of the story: Make your program account for all possible options.11
1. Connect your laptop to prod-vpn
2. Open SQL Server Management Studio for debugging
3. Walk away
4. Find your 3 year old at your laptop
6. Thank Microsoft for locking the screen when the laptop sleeps.15
Worst thing you've seen another dev do? So many things. Here is one...
Lead web developer had in the root of their web application config.txt (ex. http://OurPublicSite/config.txt) that contained passwords because they felt the web.config was not secure enough. Any/all applications off of the root could access the file to retrieve their credentials (sql server logins, network share passwords, etc)
When I pointed out the security flaw, the developer accused me of 'hacking' the site.
I get called into the vice-president's office which he was 'deeply concerned' about my ethical behavior and if we needed to make any personnel adjustments (grown-up speak for "Do I need to fire you over this?")
Me:"I didn't hack anything. You can navigate directly to the text file using any browser."
Dev: "Directory browsing is denied on the root folder, so you hacked something to get there."
Me: "No, I knew the name of the file so I was able to access it just like any other file."
Dev: "That is only because you have admin permissions. Normal people wouldn't have access"
Me: "I could access it from my home computer"
Dev:"BECAUSE YOU HAVE ADMIN PERMISSIONS!"
Me: "On my personal laptop where I never had to login?"
VP: "What? You mean ...no....please tell me I heard that wrong."
Dev: "No..no...its secure....no one can access that file."
VP: "Hmmm...I can see the system administration password right here. This is unacceptable."
Dev: "Only because your an admin too."
VP: "I'll head home over lunch and try this out on my laptop...oh wait...I left it on...I can remote into it from here"
VP: "OMG...there it is. That account has access to everything."
<in an almost panic>
Dev: "Only because it's you...you are an admin...that's what I'm trying to say."
Me: "That is not how our public web site works."
VP: "Thank you, but Adam and I need to discuss the next course of action. You two may go."
<Adam is her boss>
Not even 5 minutes later a company wide email was sent from Adam..
"I would like to thank <Dev> for finding and fixing the security flaw that was exposed on our site. She did a great job in securing our customer data and a great asset to our team. If you see <Dev> in the hallway, be sure to give her a big thank you!"
The "fix"? She moved the text file from the root to the bin directory, where technically, the file was no longer publicly visible.
That 'pattern' was used heavily until she was promoted to upper management and the younger webdev bucks (and does) felt storing admin-level passwords was unethical and found more secure ways to authenticate.8
The most pissed off I've been at work?
Client X came to us for a website.
We secretly outsourced the work.
Client X is coming for a visit in 10 mins...
MD to me: "I've told them your lead dev on this. They're not super-technical so if they ask you about the project just tell them it's going well."
Now I'm not a comfortable blagger, I don't have that kind of confidence, so to ask me to lie like this makes me feel really stressed and uncomfortable. Furthermore, I had literally no idea about any aspect of the work we were supposedly doing for this client. I can barely contain my panic but my colleagues help me piece together a basic understanding.
The MD returns: "They're here now. Can you quickly go and check that the toilets are clean."
WHAT THE FUCK!? The little prick. I'd knock him out if wasn't so meek and pathetic. I tell myself that I'm being helpful and nice but in truth I'm just his fucking doormat and he has zero respect for me.
I have no problem cleaning stuff (we all basically tidy up behind us) but this is something he could have done. Furthermore, who cares? None of us leave the loos with piss on the floor and shit smeared across the walls. They're never anything less than client-ready so to ask me to check means that he's already checked them himself and one of the loos is not quite shiny enough.
The reader may feel that this is no big deal (and in some ways you're right) but everything about this scenario was fucked up. The MD had embroiled the whole company in a lie and assumes we're all okay with that, then to add insult just nonchalantly orders me to clean the bogs. The cunt.
FWIW The client didn't ask to talk to me or use the toilet during their visit.9
Day before easter holidays, a few years ago. It was evening and almost everyone had gone home. I finished a task, and immediately set off to do the next one, stressed as fuck, as usual. One colleague was left at the office, who asked me to at least eat something before I continued. I said I didn't have time, but after some negotiations sat down at the table, and realized I couldn't physically move the fork to my mouth.
I was having a panic attack. My colleague helped me with breathing excercises, gave me some pills and when I started to calm down a little, I said I'd better go back to work.
"No", she responsed, "we're going to the emergency"
I refused, since I had work to do, but she told me that I needed a person in a white lab coat to tell me that I shouldn't work for a while.
We went. The doctor gave me 3 weeks of sick leave, where I learnt a new word: No.
I thank the universe for not letting me get burnt out. I'm thankful for that amazing colleague.
I now work without stress, doing one thing at a time and saying no when my body says no.11
Failed to connect: timed out
*Heart drops out of anus*
*Reaches for panic button*8
TL;DR: disaster averted!
About a year ago, the company I work for merged with another that offered complementary services. As is always the case, both companies had different ways of doing things, and that was true for the keeping of the financial records and history.
As the other company had a much larger financial database, after the merger we moved all the data of both companies on their software.
The said software is closed source, and was deployed on premises on a small server.
Even tho it has a lot of restrictions and missing features, it gets the job done and was stable enough for years.
But here comes the fun part: last week there was a power outage. We had no failsafe, no UPS, no recent backups and of course both the OS and the working database from the server broke.
Everyone was in panic mode, as our whole company needs the software for day to day activity!
Now, don't ask me how, but today we managed to recover all the data, got a new server with 2 RAID HDDs for the working copy of the DB, another pair for backups, and another machine with another dual HDD setup for secondary backups!
We still need a new UPS and another off site backup storage, but for now...disaster averted!
Time for a beer! Or 20...
That is all :)4
Every so often I remember that the code I wrote is running in production and real customers are using it and I feel a little bit sick2
Part of the new hire process was all salaried employees had to work all hourly position jobs for a day (over a several week period, not all in one day) to really understand what we do.
I once hazed a new network admin who was working in the call center and I sent his station a pop-up message:
“Ha! Fire me will you!! I planted this virus and if you don’t enter the password in 60 seconds I will erase the database.” The pop-up had a counter counting down from 60.
This was over the lunch hour, so all the supervisors and managers were away and ‘Mark’ in a panic ran into our office (I was hiding under my desk)
Mark: GUYS!!...GUYS!!!....OMG!….Where the frack is everybody?!!!”
He runs out.
I peek out the door window and about a second later he’s running down the hall with one of the vice presidents. Mark shows the VP the message, VP looks over at our office, sees me…laughs and walks back to his office (not saying much to Mark).
Mark not knowing what’s going on watches the counter…3...2…1….
”Just kidding. Welcome to the company!”
Ahhh…the repeated sounds of “You son of a -bleep-!!” never sounded so sweet.1
Long story short, I'm unofficially the hacker at our office... Story time!
So I was hired three months ago to work for my current company, and after the three weeks of training I got assigned a project with an architect (who only works on the project very occasionally). I was tasked with revamping and implementing new features for an existing API, some of the code dated back to 2013. (important, keep this in mind)
So at one point I was testing the existing endpoints, because part of the project was automating tests using postman, and I saw something sketchy. So very sketchy. The method I was looking at took a POJO as an argument, extracted the ID of the user from it, looked the user up, and then updated the info of the looked up user with the POJO. So I tried sending a JSON with the info of my user, but the ID of another user. And voila, I overwrote his data.
Once I reported this (which took a while to be taken seriously because I was so new) I found out that this might be useful for sysadmins to have, so it wasn't completely horrible. However, the endpoint required no Auth to use. An anonymous curl request could overwrite any users data.
As this mess unfolded and we notified the higher ups, another architect jumped in to fix the mess and we found that you could also fetch the data of any user by knowing his ID, and overwrite his credit/debit cards. And well, the ID of the users were alphanumerical strings, which I thought would make it harder to abuse, but then realized all the IDs were sequentially generated... Again, these endpoints required no authentication.
So anyways. Panic ensued, systems people at HQ had to work that weekend, two hot fixes had to be delivered, and now they think I'm a hacker... I did go on to discover some other vulnerabilities, but nothing major.
It still amsues me they think I'm a hacker 😂😂 when I know about as much about hacking as the next guy at the office, but anyways, makes for a good story and I laugh every time I hear them call me a hacker. The whole thing was pretty amusing, they supposedly have security audits and QA, but for five years, these massive security holes went undetected... And our client is a massive company in my country... So, let's hope no one found it before I did.6
It has officially been 1 year since I first became a professional developer. I am 100% sure I wouldn't have survived any of it if it wasn't for everyone here.
At first I felt great, it was something I love doing and I was being paid to do it.
Soon, it became an issue as I was the only developer and I was so so inexperienced. I had so much to learn in so little time and I'm fairly certain it's aged me about 5 years, maybe more.
There was a long period in the middle when my depression kicked the fuck back in. I was in such a state of stress and panic and just sadness that I very nearly just stopped functioning.
But then I found DevRant. I found out I wasn't alone. That these thoughts of inadequacy were, strangely, quite normal and that it would all get better. Well, it did!
I have progressed and grown so much as a developer and as a human being because of people on here and that's just through rants and comments! It's insane to think about.
I just needed to know that I wasn't actually alone. That I wasn't in a dark corner, struggling against this mammoth new world I had so little preparation for and no help with.
So to anyone out there who feels the same. It's going to be okay. Don't let it all get to you too much or it'll just grind you down. You are amazing and you will get through whatever it is that's led you to this dark place.
I seriously love so many parts of the community here. You guys are the best!4
To those that think they can't make it.
To those that are put down by those that don't understand you.
And to those that have never had a dream come true.
Not a rant, but the story of how I got into programming
I've always been into tech/electronics. I remember being told once that when I was 3, I used to take plug sockets to pieces. When I was 7, I built a computer with my dad.
There isn't a thing in my room that hasn't been dismantled and put back together again. Except for the things that weren't put back together again ;)
When I was 15, I got a phone for Christmas. It was a pretty crappy phone, the LG P350 (optimus ME). But I loved it all the same.
However I knew it could do a lot more. It ran a bloated, slow version of Android 2.2.
So I went searching, how can I make it faster, how to make it do more. And I found a huge community around Android ROMs. Obviously the first thing I did was flashed this ROM. Sure, there were bugs, but I was instantly in love with it. My phone was freed.
From there I went on to exploring what else can be done.
I wanted to learn how to script, so over the weekend I wrote a 1000 line batch (Windows cmd) script that would root the phone and flash a recovery environment onto it. Pretty basic. Lots of switch statements, but I was proud of it. I'd achieved something. It wasn't new to the world, but it was my first experience at programming.
But it wasn't enough, I needed more.
So I set out to actually building the roms. I installed Linux. I wanted to learn how to utilise Linux better, so I rewrote my script in bash.
By this time, I'd joined a team for developing on similar spec'd phones. Without the funds to by new devices, we began working on more radical projects.
Between us, we ported newer kernels to our devices. We rebased much of the chipset drivers onto newer equivalents to add new features.
Well, it was exam season. I was suffering from personal issues (which I will not detail), and that, with the work on Android, I ended up failing the exams.
I still passed, but not to the level I expected.
So I gave up on school, and went head first into a new kind of development. "continue doing what you love. You'll make it" is what I told myself.
I found python by contributing to an IRC bot. I learnt it by reading the codebase. Anything I didn't understand, I researched. Anything I wanted to do, google was there to help me through it.
Then it was exam season again. Even though I'd given up on school, I was still going. It was easier to stay in than do anything about it.
A few weeks before the exams, I had a panic attack. I was behind on coursework, and I knew I would do poorly on exams.
So I dropped out.
I was disappointed, my family was disappointed.
So I did the only thing I felt I could do. I set out to get a job as a developer.
At this stage, I'd not done anything special. So I started aiming bigger. Contributing to projects maintained by Sony and Google, learning from them. Building my own projects to assist with my old Android friends.
I managed to land a contract, however due to the stresses at home, I had to drop it after a month.
Everything was going well, I felt ready to get a full time job as a developer, after 2 years of experience in the community.
Then I had to wake up.
Unfortunately, my advisors (I was a job seeker at the time) didn't understand the potential of learning to be a developer. With them, it's "university for a skilled job".
They see the word "computer" on a CV, they instantly say "tech support".
I played ball, I did what I could for them. But they'd always put me down, saying I wasn't good enough, that I'd never get a job.
I hated them. I'd row with them every other day.
By God, I would prove them wrong.
And then I found them. Or, to be more precise, they found me. A startup in London got in contact with me. They seemed like decent people. I spoke with their developers, and they knew their stuff, these were people that I can learn from.
I travelled 4 hours to go for an interview, then 4 hours back.
When I got the email saying they'd move me to London, I was over the moon.
I did exactly what everyone was telling me I couldn't do.
1.5 years later, I'm still working with them. We all respect each other, and we all learn from each other.
I'm ever grateful to them for taking a shot with me. I had no professional experience, and I was by no means the most skilled individual they interviewed.
Many people have a dream. I won't lie, I once dreamed of working at Google. But after the journey I've been through, I wouldn't have where I am now any other way. Though, in time, I wish to share this dream with another.
I hope that all of you reach your dreams too.
Sorry for the long post. The details are brief, but there are only 5k characters ;)23
Am I the only here who get so much PUSSY when encountering bugs in code?
P - panic attacks
U - uncontrollable anxiety
S - suicidal fantasies
S - sadness
Y - yearning to death14
One fine Friday night in early '97 while drinking with my buddies I got a page from work. Called the office to understand what the problem is.
*shit I can't fix this over the phone, and buddy here doesn't have a PC so I can't dial-in via PCAnywhere*
Told told the users "Ok I'll be there in an hour and a half. Stop all the running jobs and start the backup"
*figures I still have 1hr to spare so continues to down fair amounts of O-be-joyful with buddies then hailed a cab to office*
I arrived in office 1.5hrs later (2am) exactly as I predicted and went straight to work. Initial checks confirmed my suspicion of the issue so I wrote the appropriate SQL to get started:
'drop table foobar'
***The specified table (foobar) is not in the database***
I looked at foobar and figured out immediately why I got the error, then corrected the SQL and ran again:
'drop database foobar'
*What the FUCK!!! You fucking drunk!!! What did you fucking do? What if I disappear to another country, work as a waiter or something*
After a few moments of panic and a good deal of 'What ifs' I calmed down, looked to the users and made up some bullshit "Some of the indexes are corrupted, we need to restore from the backup"
I wrote most of my '94 midterm project during weekends where me and my buddies were drunk
On a tiny vacation in another country. Don't have a converter plug (for the power sockets) so borrowed one.
*connects laptop to charger* (old charger which might die soon)
*tries different sockets*
"you might want to check your phone with that thing as the socket seems loose as hell"
*tries phone with charger that definitely works*
That was a fucking panic attack right there 😅2
As we may all messed up a (git) repo at the begininng, do you know the surge of adrenalin right before pushing your committed changes or merging branches?2
The heavenly time window we're all thankfully entitled to!
Its where 90% of my productivity lies,
Its when 80% of my projects were developed,
Its when 'responsibility' synonymous to 'panic',
Its when i start to realise the dark and deep depths of the universe,
Its what gives me my purpose in life.2
Booking a hotel on booking.com
**only 3 rooms avaliable at this discounted price BOOK NOW**
**12 rooms booked just in the last 24 hours BOOK NOW**
*** HTML AND CSS FLASHING WEBSITE PANIC**
I call the hotel directly "sorry sir, we're closed for the season and currently renovating, will not be open till June"
I need a drink.8
Quick burger restaurant (a Belgian burger restaurant much like McDonalds) using raspberry pi for their screen ... Well looks like it doesn't quiet work 😂20
One Thursday noon,
operation manager: (looking at mobile)what the.....something is wrong i am getting bunch of emails about orders getting confirmed.
Colleague dev: (checks the main email where it gets all email sent/received) holy shit all of our clients getting confirmation email for orders which were already cancelled/incomplete.
Me: imediately contacting bluehost support, asking them to down the server so just that we can stopp it, 600+ emails were already sent and people keep getting it.
*calls head of IT* telling the situation because he's not in the office atm.
CEO: wtf is happening with my business, is it a hacker?
*so we have a intrusion somebody messed the site with a script or something*
All of us(dev) sits on the code finding the vulnerabilities , trying to track the issue that how somebody was able to do that.
*After an hour*
So we have gone through almost easch function written in the code which could possibly cause that but unable to find anything which could break it.
Head asking op when did you started getting it actually?
Op: right after 12 pm.
*an other hour passes*
Head: (checking the logs) so right after the last commit, site got updated too?. And....and.....wtf what da hell who wrote this shit in last commit?
* this fuckin query is missing damn where clause* 🤬
Me: me 😰
*long pause, everyone looking at me and i couldn't look at anyone*
The shame and me that how can i do that.
Head: so its you not any intrudor 😡
Further investigating, what the holy mother of #_/&;=568 why cronjob doesn't check how old the order is. Why why why.
(So basically this happened, because of that query all cancelled/incomplete orders got updated damage done already, helping it the cronjob running on all of them sending clients email and with that function some other values got updated too, inshort the whole db is fucked up.)
and now they know who did it as well.
*Head after some time cooling down, asked me the solution for the mess i create*
Me: i took backup just couple of days before i can restore that with a script and can do manual stuff for the recent 2 days. ( operation manager was already calling people and apologising from our side )
Head: okay do it now.
Me: *in panic* wrote a script to restore the records ( checking what i wrote 100000000 times now ), ran...tested...all working...restored the data.
after that wrote an apology email, because of me staff had to work alot and it becomes so hectic just because of me.
* at the end of the day CEO, head, staff accepted apology and asked me to be careful next time, so it actually teached me a lesson and i always always try to be more careful now especially with quries. People are really good here so that's how it goes* 🙂2
A: man Stack Overflow is a paradise on earth, anything I need is on there, it never lets me down.
"Stack Overflow is currently offline for maintenance"
So, I told my new newbies intern; "Please keep remind yourself, not accidently type 'rm -rf /' as root. You don't want to know what going to happen". He nod.
Next day, in the dev server, "Kernal Panic". Human, full of curiosity.6
Ooh this is good.
At my first job, i was hired as a c++ developer. The task seemed easy enough, it was a research and the previous developer died, leaving behind a lot of documentation and some legacy fortran code. Now you might not know, but fortran can be really easily converted to c, and then refactored to c++.
Fine, time to read the docs. The research was on pollen levels, cant really tell more. Mostly advanced maths. I dug through 500+ pages of algebra just to realize, theres no way this would ever work. Okay dont panic, im a data analyst, i can handle this.
Lets take a look at the fortran code, maybe that makes more sense. Turns out it had nothing to do with the task. It looped through some external data i couldnt find anywhere and thats it. Yay.
So i exported everything we had to a csv file, wrote a java program to apply linefit with linear regression and filter out the bad records. After that i spent 2 days in a hot server room, hoping that the old intel xeon wouldnt break down from sending java outputs directly to haskell, but it held on its own.1
The Android app we work on has been ignored in terms of design for 3 years.
Everyone added their own colors, dimensions, strings, etc...
We have grey_1 through grey_9 along with light_grey, lighter_grey, etc...
hardcoded colors everywhere.
All fine until they asked for another flavor a month ago. I didn't panic/meltdown, I cleaned up as much as I could, divided things into templates like header_color, surface_color... It worked fine
Until they fucking asked to "unify" all of our company's apps, which is also fine except a lot of politics came into play. The customer wants one thing, the customer's designer wants another, our designer, our clients designers, my manager... all want different twists in different places. And the code is no way near being able to support all of this.
So I was like ... No I will make one fucking color for all things that serve the same purpose. Turned off the pc, sent an email that I will postpone the release, blocked the ticket, stopped a colleague while they were talking telling them to stfu... and took a 4 days surfing vacation, undeclared.
A dozen of waves later, I came back to work, deleted all references to colors and fixed around 1000 of them
If you know you have tech debt and just live with it... Fuck you!5
I have this theory I call the Great Kernel Panic.
Companies like Apple, Google, Micro$oft, and others succeed in pulling people into a centralized internet. The internet is condensed by monopolies so you don't need to leave these websites to do anything else.
Robots take our jobs, and software maintains itself. (Cron jobs, machine learning, etc)
Once the internet has centralized far enough, generations later, a program crashes. A very important component smack in the middle that causes everything it depends on to go with it. It's been generations since it was created, and no one knows how to program anymore. Boom, dark age, not by artificial intellegence being too smart, but too dumb.
So I'm going to get married next june. I made an app for the guests where they have all information available, can send music wishes and can share images of the wedding with other guests.
Here is my story on publishing it in the App Store:
Me: "Hey Apple, I made a small app for my wedding. Mind putting it in your store?"
Apple: "Yeah, whatever" *publishes it*
One month later:
Me: "I made really small changes, please take this update."
Apple: "Ha no, its not interessting for enough people." *rejects it*
I panic, because the app is mentiont in the invites to the wedding which are already printed.
So one day later:
Me: "Ok ok, I added a button in the intro where people can send me a mail if they are interested in using the same app for their wedding."
Apple: "That changes everything! We will accept the update."
I'm happy, that they accepted it in the end, but really?!? There are so many shit apps in the store, why do you reject any not-fart app, because it is not interesting enough??? And why the fuck do you accept it in the first place?15
Yesterday (or the day before that depending on your timezone and day-night schedule - this Friday) my OnePlus 6T arrived. After only 2 days of time between placing the order and actually getting the phone, quite impressive!
The DHL guy asked me upon receipt - is it the OnePlus 6T? - Yes it is!! - "An amazing device it is!", he said. And honestly.. he couldn't be more right.
I might be a bit biased on this because after all I did just spend €630 on this phone. But it feels so snappy, high quality, the 8GB of RAM is just.. it blows my mind. But I'm sure that the other reviews did this sort of jazz already.
The things that set this phone apart for me though were the following.
When I get a new phone or tablet, usually the first thing I do is rooting it. This one was no different, about an hour after receipt it was successfully rooted and loaded with Magisk. Currently I'm still in the phase of "getting to know the phone", wherein fuckups are usual. This time again being no different - I removed some apps and apparently did something to it that the search engines - both Google and DuckDuckGo - didn't quite like, as both of them would crash upon application launch. Me in full panic mode of course, desperately trying to find the stock ROM (which doesn't seem to be present in its usual form) or a new set of GApps (which didn't resolve the issue). OnePlus does seem to offer its OTA updates in zip archives though. So I downloaded its latest update (same as what was on the device) and applied it.
That's when the nerdgasm happened.
The "update" was simply a matter of going into the settings, tapping this and that and applying the update. No recovery, no unrooting, no nothing. The update just went like that despite the phone being rooted and just having had TWRP flashed to it. I always wanted this sort of thing, which even the Nexus couldn't offer - having the cake and eating it too. Being able to root the device and muck around with it while still being able to update the device timely without too many hurdles. This fucking thing does it!!!
That is to say, after my initial nerdgasm I did find that it bulldozed over my su binary (effectively unrooting the thing), custom emoji I've set (iOS 12 because fuck Google's most recent emoji set) and some other things. But those are easy to install back, much more so than it would've been to download a whole Android release and dirty flash it, as it was on the Nexus.
Other than that, battery life, dash charging (edit: on that topic, it does remain cool like a cucumber despite getting 15-20W of power jammed into it, quite impressive!), snappiness, the usual jazz.. eh, as I said earlier that's the usual reviewer stuff. But this feature of being able to upgrade the phone while it's modified, that's something which seems to be severely underrated by those.
Oh and during kernel builds, I couldn't quite get the source to work - probably due to my lack of experience with builds of Android kernels - but I did find that this phone actually exposes its kernel config through /proc/config.gz as it should. None of my MediaTek devices do this, so that's something that I found really appealing. Always nice to see when a manufacturer exposes this information to give you a stock sort of config that you can be rest assured will work configuration-wise. And it allows you to see what the stock kernel is actually built with, which again is really nice. I quite like this! It really encourages further development.11
The newest *DD development trend: Panic Driven Development.
When your hexagonal domain driven serverless microservice architecture explodes in production and you don't know which one of the 50k components is failing.5
This happend to me around 2 weeks ago. For some reason, I decied to post this now.
I won the lottery, yey! I mean, bot really, but I am <19yo student, "less than junior dev" in my office, but sonce I am the only one who is capable of working with hardware, I was working month back as a sysadmin for a few days. Our last sysadmin was really good working but really, really toxic guy, so he got fired on a spot after argument with some manager or whatever, no big deal, we could have another guy hired in a week. But, our backup server literally was on fire, all data probably dead because bad capacitor or whatever. This was our only backup of everything at the time. Everyone in full fucking panic mode, we had literally no other working HW we could use for backup, but then comes me, intern employed on his first dev job for 3 months. That day I bought some HW for my own personal server at home (Intel NUC with some Celeron, 4GB DDR4 RAM and two 240GB SSDs for RAID 1. My manager asked everyone in the office for sollution how to survive next 4 days before new server arrives. People there had no idea what tk do and no knowedgle about HW, I just came from a break and offered my components for a week, since there was noone else who can work with HW, servers and stuff like this, manager offered me $500+HW cost if I, random intern, can make it work. I installed Debian on that little PC, created RAID1 from both SSDs, installed MySQL server and mirrored GIT server from our last standing server (we had two before one of them went lit 🔥), made simple Python script to copy all data on that RAID, with some help of our database guy copied whole DB from production to this little computer and edited some PHP so every SQL request made on our server will run on that NUC too. Everything after ±2 hours worked perfectly. Untill a fucking PSU burned in our server and took RAID controller with him in sillicon heaven next night, so we could not access any data unltill we got a new one. Thanks to every god out there, I was able to create software RAID from survived HDDs on our production server and copy all data from that NUC on the servers software RAID and make it working at 3 AM in the night before an exam 😂. Without this, we would be next ±40 hours without aerver running and we might loose soke of our data and customers. So my little skill with Linux, Python, MySQL and most importantly my NUC hardware I got that day running as a backup server saved maybe whole company 😂.
Btw, guess who is now employee of the year with $2500 bonus? 😀
Sorry for bragging and log post, but I was so lucky an so happy when everything worked out, good luck to all sysadmins out there! 👍
TL:DR: Random intern saved company and made some money 😂7
40 hour work week with a physically demanding job, full time bachelor's student, and web dev on the side. I'm exhausted all the time. I find myself migrating to my bed. "I'll read this chapter in bed".
Next thing I know I've been passed out on my book for three hours. Panic. Repeat.2
I recently interviewed for a job at company where I had 20 minutes to code a solution in python (whose standard library I know nothing about) to a question, which also included googling certain finance-related APIs, with not one but two technical interviewers looking over my shoulder THE ENTIRE TIME.9
This happened a while back but thought it would be an interesting story.
So there is this guy, I'll call him Jack. Jack was a weirdo. He just graduated high school but thought of himself as very hot in terms of dev skills. He boasted lots of good programs, that are the best in industry, except they don't work (like the best proven file compressor, that just can't decompress anything because of some "bugs"). He also entered language holy wars quite actively, saying that Delphi is the best platform ever.
Aaanyway, a couple of years pass. Jack is now a student. Jack tries to make some money, so he talks to some guy, that offers him a "job" at the tax office, where he has to modernize the data infrastructure of the tax authorities. If you think this sounds very wrong, then you're 100% correct. But it gets better. After 2 months of work, the guy manages to do that. It's a simple CRUD application after all.
So everything works, but the guy who gave him this job refused to pay. He stalled and then just stopped answering the phone. Jack is now furious. So what he does, is publish the databases online, so everyone could see the income of every citizen. Authorities are in panic. They send the police to his door. They seize his computer and lock him up for a few days.
To sum it all up: Jack took up a job, without any contract, without any NDA, which is completely illegal in of itself, but he did that with the tax authority. And delivered the product before getting paid. And when he understood that he was owned, he published all online. He got bit back. The guy who gave him this job had no consequences for illegally hiring someone and not paying for their work.
Lesson: Don't be Jack11
When you're talking on your phone and have a panic attack because you can't feel your phone in your trouser pockets...4
 Don’t panic! All will become clear in time.
 You don’t have to know every detail of C++ to write good programs.
 Focus on programming techniques, not on language features.
just read in "A Tour of C++11" by Bjarne Stroustrup
It's not just true for C++, that's true for everything4
When the coffee you had in the morning kicks in all at once.
Now my heartbeat is faster than my keystrokes4
--- Amazon opposes Oracle, continues support of OpenJDK until at least June 2023 using "Corretto" ---
As most Java developers have heard, Oracle will change the licensing models of the Oracle JDK and OpenJDK for versions older than 2 years, making creators of commercial software pay for a license for the JDK if they need such a version.
However, Amazon recently released Corretto (https://github.com/corretto), their own distribution of OpenJDK to the public, with an extended support of the Java 8 variant until June 2023.
This will give companies, which still didn't update their softwares' sources to a later Java version, more time to update these. Or, of course, to wait even longer, only to panic one month before support ends, causing some Java developers big headaches over unrealistic deadlines. ;)
Corretto had previously been an Amazon-internal tool, but since, according to Amazon, many of its AWS customers use the OpenJDK, they wanted to release it in order to make it the default Java runtime and development kit for Amazon Linux.
It will also be released on other platforms, such as other Linux distributions, Windows and Mac. Additionally, there a Docker image is available for download.
Thank you for reading!
Buses in Slovakia uses RPI 2 for they TVs apparently they don't manage it so good if they got Kernel panic.
The RPI loses power when bus turns off.
That's what you got bitches for shuting down RPI the dirty way(disconnecting the power source).9
About 2 months ago. My job fired half the dev staff including the only other web developer. I am a junior, and now the sole web developer. I have been yelled at for not working fast enough and not knowing the code base well enough. (I did a lot of Rails, and this is a Spring shop). I have daily panic attacks about coming to work and having to be here for 8 hours. I have never felt more abused. I'm constantly stressed, and drinking more than I should. All advice given to me has been "just stay there til you find something else or they fire you." but it feels like no one really knows how unhealthy this is for me. My one hope is that I didn't bomb this interview at a university. I fucking hate my job.16
>X gets corrupted somehow
>"sudo apt-get remove xorg"
>begins uninstalling millions of packages
>a fullscreen warning flashes by: "Are you SUUUUUURE you wanna remove the kernel?"
>wasn't prompted to deny
>After process, get kernel panic
>kernel panic within 10 seconds
Why must you do this to me, Debian?34
I am on holidays and because of devRant I found out about gitLab...
I am sweating and in panic but no one from work called me yet.
Then I realised, this is my first vacation without laptop and work phone in years.
I think I will get back to work 10 days from now and it will like: "Hey!! Can you sit and fix this? We've been waiting for 2 weeks"...
A group of Engineering professors were invited to fly in a plane.
Right after they were comfortably seated, they were informed the plane was built by their students.
All but one got off their seats and headed frantically to the exits in maniacal panic.
The one lone professor that stayed put, calmly in his seat, was asked: “Why did you stay put?”
“I have plenty of confidence in my students. Knowing them, I for a fact can assure you this piece of shit plane will never even start”
Stupid bluemix console, build a translator web apps which processed by translator api services. When I pushed it, error occurred *panic begins*. Then I decided to create a default netcore template and push it. It worked. Push the former one again and it worked.
Stupid server honestly1
I just realized the most fucked up shit that leads me to wanna runaway from this job even more...
On the beginning (3 years ago) I used to be really thrilled , plan things really professionally, make models, uml, all the shit, try to fix things and everything you should expect from a great dev.
The problem is that in 3 years I had to "replan" so much things and so desperately quickly and have so many rework with such shitty projects that I kind of panic every time I have to plan something and I end up thinking I'm not capable of developing complex systems anymore.
All because these fucking managers that never make their mind, so my mind sees this:
"Fuck, 10 months for this shit that could have been done in 1 ? You suck dude."
Actually is management that sucks.
I've been doing some small projects on the side, just for the sake of it and boy, I'm rocking it.
My self esteem is coming back on tracks.
Fuck those fucker, they can die chocking on their own misery.2
So we send a quote out to a client to update his website to make it compliant with the new privacy guidelines: SSL encryption, removing external libraries, removing Facebook Plug-ins, all that stuff. We didn't get a response.
On Monday, he called in a panic. "The website does not work, fix immediately!"
I check out the server, what do I see? An SSL cert installed the Friday before... Client decided to do it himself, on a Friday, without testing. He broke something, but cannot tell me exactly what he did.
And somehow he thinks all that is my fault :D4
I have a USB stick with some portable apps on it (eg Firefox, tor browser, libreoffice).
I plugged it into a school computer, and it worked for a while.
But then I tried to use a program called process hacker. It's a task manager clone (because they turned actual task manager off).
It got marked as a PUP by the antivirus.
Somehow, the school had connected the antivirus to the fire alarm.
So, I tried to start the program, and the fire alarm went off (this was during lunch, so it didn't disrupt peoples learning, which is good).
So we went out onto the field, but then we were told to go back, so no harm done.
I then had my USB stick confiscated by the IT department. They found out that it wasn't a virus, and I got it back.
I like the idea of being able to cause mass panic with a USB stick.
Now, some questions.
Why did this happen? I suspect it's because of the word "hacker", but I'm not sure.
I'm now not allowed to use this USB on the school computers. If I reformatted it, would they be able to prove it's the same device?15
Cat schroedingers = Cats.getFromScientist("Schrödinger");
boolean lives = schroedingers.isLiving();
The weird feeling you get when you ask a colleague what he recommends as unit testing framework for C# and his first response is: "What do you mean by 'unit testing'?"11
One of my favorite things on vacation is to lazily read through work e-mails, spot threads where my opinion/decision is required, and completely ignore them as my boss spirals into utter panic.2
TL;DR age != competence
My boss is a fucking computer illiterate self taught programmer.
Don't get me wrong, he can do shit, pretty shitty but it gets done...
But the dude has 38 fucking years old and somehow still searches for keys on the fucking keyboard and struggles to touch type anything...
I sometimes crying the fuck out when I have to help him with something...
I'm having a mini fucking panic attack right now just thinking of it... Fuck
He is our "manager" but doesn't even have the fucking balls to confront his own subordinates when they need to be confronted... Everyone is aware of this and everyone is fucking around... And no one sees any consequences... I wonder why deadlines are always missed...
He is so passive that every fucking thing someone asks he goes and says it is OK...
I was studying same psychology about ignorance and I think he lacks the understanding that shit is hard to do...
We literary had a conversation the other day something like that:
Boss: so, what do you think? One call to the api for it to return all data or multiple calls to return smaller ones?
Me: well... It takes ~180ms just for latency to the server for one call, if you have 10 calls it will take 180*10ms, it is better if we have one call and cache it if necessary on the backend.
( he has no fucking clue wtf caching is, besides browser cache)
Boss: (looking confuse AS FUCK!!) Well, I don't get it... Maybe I'll test it later.
Me thinking: test how you dumb motherfucker? On you fucking workstation with no fucking latency?
There is no fucking test. I'm stating it. IT IS A FUCKING FACT!
Me: well, it takes that for the call to go to the api and come back , its simple math. 1 == 180, 10 == 1800.
PH got hit with a 5.7 magnitude earthquake and the design team just paused like a freaking statue, frontend devs just continued working, backend devs are just laughing, and the management panic like hell. My office/coworkers are weird6
I have one! Once upon a time (about a year ago) my mom went online shopping on her own. Her husband was out of town and so she had no assistance. At about 10.30 pm she called me, freaking the fuck out that she entered her credit card details on a sketchy site and they charged her for more than she ordered. She was in hysterics, didn't know what to do. Superwoman to the rescue, I tell her to go and deactivate her card and jump on a train back home (she was crying on the phone she was so scared, couldn't just leave it until morning) fast forward an hour, I'm in my hometown, she picks me up and we head home to check out the situation, and... She had just received the email invoice twice. They hadn't charged her twice, just some email mishap made the email appear twice and she never thought to check her bank account before summoning me home 🙄😂 we laughed for a while and I got a home cooked meal so it's all good but Jesus christ mom. What would you honestly do without dad?2
I was working on a site just moments ago and everything was fine. Then I move my laptop from my living room to my bedroom and on refreshing the page everything seems broken! Disorganized cards, and everything looks 10x bigger. I panic because I was supposed to deploy it on Thursday and I was just doing some final touches and angular has given me one hell of a time. I fucking rolled back all my commits to yesterday and cleared chromes chrome's cache....still nothing works. Then I realized there's a new button on my address tab and on clicking it is showed I had (accidentally) zoomed in by a fucking 175% when moving the laptop *facepalm*. On resetting it everything was ok. Now I have lost all of today's commits and my chrome cache. One box of tic-tacs down and I still can't overcome my rage... So I wrote this rant 😠😩😩
I need a stress ball😩😩8
When I was a graduate I often had to do proof of concepts and one had to be done by the weekend, I'd only been given it on the Wednesday. After a few sleepless nights I had it working or so I thought. On the Friday afternoon the CTO had a look at it and spotted a bug, he told me about it and I stayed in the office until about 10 when I finally managed to get some kind of fix in place. I emailed him told him I thought but was working and shouldn't happen again.
A few hours later no response I get a phone call from him screaming, shouting and swearing calling me useless and a waste of space etc. Etc. To the point I logged in desperately trying to fix the issue in a very hastily written integration and ended up having quite a major panic attack woke up on the floor and immediately went back to work. On the Saturday morning one of the senior Devs logged in and managed to fix it in the database and everything went fine in the end.
I went into work on Monday fully expecting to be fired from the way the CTO was speaking to me, I went to my line manager at the time and he just said don't worry. I left it in his
hands and things went back to normal. That call put a pretty serious dent in my confidence for years, but I learned a few valuable lessons which I stick to today.
Never work on serious shit after 6, use a second mobile for work which is turned off at 5 o'clock, properly test all fixes and always ALWAYS have someone in between graduates and senior management because honestly they can't handle the shit that's flung from above.1
I don't mean to fear monger or cause panic BUT
I know somebody who knows somebody that uses 4 spaces instead of tab..8
In 7 hours I have a meeting with the big Boss CEO our company the head of heads.... I have to present the development plan to save the company (about 9000 employees).... I can't sleep cause I hate to present in general.... I fuc%$# can't get a clear mind.... I'm dieing inside >..< and I really need to sleep
wish me luck4
Working on my Lenovo x1 carbon. Akku warning "less then 6%" appears. No problem, I will connect the cable just after I finished this function... "Will shutdown in a view moments" message appears. Ok, I connect the cable. Nothing happens. Maybe power adapter is broken or something more worst. Panic. Try to commit and push as fast as I can (around 2000 LOC from today, made big changes on my project today). While pushing to github laptop powers off. Fuck. Check github on smartphone to see if commits had been pushed. No. I do not have a power adapter for replacement. FML.4
Two years ago, I developed an security app for Android as a school project. I didn't like teamwork at school (you know, you do all the work and everyone else is getting the same grade you receive, specially if you are the nerd of the class), actually I hated it, so I made it alone.
Its name was "Alex" and was a simple "panic button". You can configure two emergency emails and phone numbers (contacts only, not police) and, if you're in danger, you just have to press the button and the app is gonna send two messages/emails to your contacts: the first one, to tell where are you (GPS, only the name of the place) and that you're in problems. The second one with an audio/photo file of the situation.
Sounds like a great app, and I tested it few times. The reason I didn't continue with this is that I got my first job and I had not time, and that, tree or four months later, the government (of the city) launched a similar app. Less sophisticated, but I think it's still useful: "No estoy sola"(I'm not alone). I haven't tested it cause I don't trust on the authorities, I'd preffer to send my location to a friend through messenger app instead.
I don't know if I should re-work this app (I didn't released it, I just have the beta) or work on something else. I'm afraid that, if I release it, someone could die or get kidnapped because of a bug or something going wrong with the app :c What do you think?5
So I manage multiple VPS's (including multiple on a dedicated server) and I setup a few proxy servers last week. Ordered another one yesterday to run as VPN server and I thought like 'hey, let's disable password based login for security!'. So I disabled that but the key login didn't seem to work completely yet. I did see a 'console' icon/title in the control panel at the host's site and I've seen/used those before so I thought that as the other ones I've used before all provided a web based console, I'd be fine! So le me disabled password based login and indeed, the key based login did not work yet. No panic, let's go to the web interface and click the console button!
*clicks console button*
*New windows launches.....*
I thought I would get a console window.
The window contained temporary login details for my VPS... guess what... YES, FUCKING PASSWORD BASED. AND WHO JUST DISABLED THE FUCKING PASSWORD BASED LOGIN!?!
WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO IMPLEMENT THIS MOTHERFUCKING GOD?!?
Found out today my boss told the team lead to put an unfinished part of the software that I'm developing into production so the clients 'could look at it already'. Team lead claims he objected but boss insisted. So now our error logs are filling up with lines every time it silently fails, and the pressure is on even harder to make it work asap. This has been going since the start of the week and I found out about it now. Boss told team lead it looks better to the clients this way. Meanwhile I'm just thanking the heavens this at least couldn't cause data loss. Probably. *panic intensifies*5
Dev deploys new CSS.
Client: I can't see the changes PANIC.
Dev: clear your cache!
Client: oh that's better. Now can we do that for all user?
Casually debugging some cuda code today. Something's not working so I add a breakpoint in the suspicious kernel. For some reason I set the display GPU as the active device from my code *GENIUS* ( I have two GPUs installed, one for compute, one for the monitors).
Starts cuda debugging... Control flow reached the kernel and eventually the breakpoint. Suddenly the whole system freezes. Mouse doesn't move, keyboard seems dead. I realize I have unsaved code on the open text editor😲 *panic*. Keyboard shortcut to stop debugging doesn't work *panic^2*. My colleague says I have to hard reset the machine *panic^3*. I don't remember the last time I saved *panic^4*.
I take a deep breath. I reset. *sidenote: WINDOWS DECIDED TO FUCKING UPDATE ON REBOOT* Once I login, 50% of my code was lost. I didn't save 😢
Fuck you Nvidia 😢7
Must be doing something right, Had a hardware near-failure last night (turned out to be my gpu wobbling - didn't die though thank christ) and went into full panic mode "FORCE PUSH ALL BRANCHES FUCK THE HISTORY SAVE THE CODE", 5 minutes later Jenkins pings me on discord, everything built and deployed successfully :D2
Sometimes the pebkac is so strong it continues to amaze me.
Step 1: customer updates pos software
Step 2: customer is presented a perfectly reasonable UAC screen with yes/no choice
Step 3: customer panics and takes no further action
Step 4: a few hours later the first customer enters the store and more panic ensues as the update is still waiting on the uac
Step 5: the customer calls us in panic and acuses us of writing shut incomprehensible software
Wish this was an once in a year exception, untill we wrote a bypass for the whole uac crap this was a daily occurance.4
->buying fake arduino from ebay.
->have to install separate drivers, because the manufacturer uses a cheap usb to serial chip.
-> driver page is all in chineese, only the download button is in english
-> installed the driver(at this point there was no going back)
-> instand kereal panic
When PM runs to you in panic: "Client says startpage is not working!!!"
Me: "The whole thing or just some parts? Any error messages?"
PM: "Client just said startpage. Hurry!"
Me: *checking site. all good. checking site on each server in cluster. all good. clears all caches. all good. tests on mobile. all good.*
Me: "Can't find any problems. Can you ask the client again?"
PM returns later, with a more detailed error description: apparently the error was on another page, but it was linked to from the startpage...
So I'm wrapping up for the day and right before I leave a coworker comes up to me with a problem. Our company uses barcodes to track some of our products through their development and we recently switched over to a new system for producing them. The barcodes for this particular product are supposed to have 8 digits, but the last 200 we printed have 9.
I immediately panic because I wrote the script that generates the bar codes and there had been a bug in the past where the script would add extra leading zeroes that weren't supposed to be there. I scramble and check the database, it would be a huge headache if our production database had been compromised with junk barcodes. Nope, all the new barcodes there have the right number of digits.
Next place to check is in the code that writes the barcodes to a text file for staff to print the physical labels from. Nope that's all fine too.
I ask the person who printed out the recent batch of labels to show me how the printing software reads from the text file. She seems confused by my question and shows me how she manually enters in the barcode range to the software. As she does this I watch her add an extra zero to the numbers. 🙃
Even worse there was an option to import all the codes from a text file literally RIGHT BELOW the manual option.
TLDR; Thought my script had screwed up our database, ended up being the fault of a coworker who didn't know how to import text files.1
Sort of !dev
I can't do school anymore. I get so many panic attacks. I was shaking the entire time I was writing my essay today. It's hard to focus when your brain is fucking freaking out. I'm missing deadlines, failing tests left and right.
Real talk, I'm not dumb. This was never a problem. My University fucked me up and now I can't even look at an assignment without an electric feeling and I don't know what to do.
I had a panic attack during the opening crawl of Star Wars. I had to leave the theater. My anxiety is going to give me a heart attack one of these times. I'm 18, why am I experiencing health issues like this?
School isn't done right. How could this be the intended effect?10
Been sick since Wednesday with a heavy feeling of dizziness and vertigo (BPPV). Basically I got sick in the week I intentionally planned nothing to tackle my workload and get some stuff done, but I was physically unable to work on it until now.
Meeting is on Monday.
Also preorder my new book on O'Reilly, much appreciated.
(No, I am not panicking, pls send help)4
Boss only likes stuff he can see and that looks pretty. Doesn't understand code, servers, containers, DBs, etc. Praise is attributed by something looking nice in the frontend, whether or not it does crazy stuff behind the scenes.
Spent a week working on a project whilst boss was away. Got to about Thursday and thought, oh poop, I've built all this API stuff, but not much frontend. So I panic built frontend screens with no functionality just so I had something to show.
Wish I had another dev to share backend progress with (and code review)...14
That feeling when lead dev hid a couple of really secret bugs for you, and then left for vacation... *cough* @BinaryProvider 😉3
Last night I had a panic attack and woke up in cold sweats because in the dream I had I was constantly using the wrong variables in the wrong places...
Well, everytime I build a pc for a friend I'll always end up telling myself "this is the last time". Not bc I have a problem with building pc's, I love it, but its the "free of charge" 24/7 IT-support my non techy (techii?) friends expects from me after the build is done I hate.
So here's the deal.
A week ago I built a brand new pc for a friend, as usual (bc he's a good friend) I told him that my "fee" would be a couple of beers and the train ticket up. So I got there, built the pc and we hooked it up to his monitor. About 5sec in to windows the screen went black. My friend started to panic, and I started to check if all the components and cables were hooked up right (tho I've done this a couple of times, shit can happen) but found nothing was wrong.
I had to take the train home, cause it got late AF and I live in another city, but I told him to try another cable. Felt bad AF for not being able to help him.
Flash forward 2 days, my friend started messaging me late in the evening, complaining about how he had tried everything and ultimately had to leave the pc at an (as he called it) "proffesional" who charged him 100$.
I felt even guiltier about that one, asked him if he tried to change the hdmi, but he said that's in The hands of this guy now.
Two days later this PC God gave him an answer.
Guess What he told him?
CHANGE THE ***** HDMI CABLE.
Afterwards he wanted help installing drivers over fb-messenger.
I love my friends, but man why do I do this to myself.3
There is a company providing a very speciffic service. And it has a core application for that svc, supported by a core app team.
That company also has other services, which are derivations of the core one. So every svc depends on core.
Now that we're clear on that... I was working in a team of one of the subservices. We very strongly depended on core. In fact, our svc was useless if integration w/ core broke down.
The core team had an annoying habbit. They refused to version their webservices and they LOVED to push api updates w/o any warnings. Our prod, test, other envs used to fail bcz of core api changes quite often. Mgmt, IT head was aware of the problem and customers' complaints as well.
So as a result, once core api changes we're all in a panic mode: all prior priorities are lowered and revival of prod is to be our main focus. Core api is not docummented, the changes are not clear, so we have to reverse engineer the shit out of it. We manage to patch our prod up w/ hotfixes, but now we have tech debt. While working on the debt, core api changed again, in test env. Mgmt pushes debt back and reallocates us to hotfix test. Hotfix is 80% done when another core api breaks. Now mgmt asks us to drop wtv we're working on and fix that new break. By the time we're to deploy the hotfix, another api breaks in another env. The mgmt..... You get the picture :)
2 years go by, nothing has changed so far.6
Before going home, decided to do an upgrade from ubuntu 16.04 to 18.04...
Leave it to do its charm.
*a morning later*
See laptop on off state, "hmm..."
Turning in on, *press power buton*
Booting... Purple-ish screen appear.. Nothing happened for 20 minutes.
Hard reboot, going to grub menu,
2. Advance option
"root mount not found, bla bla bla
15 chrome tabs later (on mobile),
Do something on shit...
Finally proceed to login screen.
Insert password, enter.
Loading... Blank... 3 seconds later, tadaaa.. Going back to login screen.
Do it trice, I'm stuck at login screen.
20 chrome tabs later,
Finally got in. Have a "what's new" screen.
Ok, feels different... But its slow af. Hmm maybe reboot will do something.
Login screen, insert password, enter..
3 seconds later..
Bam. Going back to login screen...
Another chrome tabs later... Resolved the issue.
And finally I can take a breath, but still has a headache because of little thing likes:
1. Right click not working
2. Workspace not work as expected likes in 16.04
3. Screenshot behavior
4. No animation When moving a window to another workspace.
When almost anything is solved and I'm ready to do my works, I just realised something..
I just wasted 4 hours of my workday.
I've been sitting and staring at my code for two hours.
Actual work done - nil
This has been going on since three days now.
Tying not to panic. It has happened before. This phase should end in the next couple of days....
Don't panic please.
I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight...3
Don't panic and break up your big problem into smaller problems and solve them in a logical cadence.
Also, when you go home at night...turn off man. If you take your work home with you, you will go mental.1
Been working on 'MVP' features of a new product for the past 14 months. Customer has no f**king clue on how to design for performance. An uncomfortable amount of faith was placed on the ORM (ORMs are not bad as long as you know what you are doing) and the magic that the current framework provides. (Again, magic is good so long as you understand what happens behind the smoke and mirrors - but f**k all that... coz hey, productivity, right?). Customer was so focussed on features that no one ever thought of giving any attention to subtler things like 'hey, my transaction is doing a gazillion joins across trizillion tables while making a million calls to the db - maybe I should put more f**king thought into my design.' We foresaw performance and concurrency issues and raised them way ahead of the release. How did the customer respond? By hiring a performance tester. Fair enough - but what did that translate into? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Hiring a perf tester doesn't automagically fix issues. The perf tester did not have a stable environment, a stable build or anything that is required to do a test with meaningful results. As the release date approached, the customer launched a pilot and things started failing spectacularly with the system not able to support more than 15 concurrent users. WTF! (My 'I told you so' moment) Emails started flying in all directions and the hunt for the scapegoat was on (I'm a sucker for CYA so I was covered). People started pointing in all directions but no one bothered to take a step back and understand what was causing the issues. Numero uno reason for transaction failure was deadlocks. We were using a proprietary DB with kickass tooling. No one bothered to use the tooling to understand what was the resource in contention let alone how to fix the contention. Absolute panic - its like they just froze. Debugging shit and doing the same thing again and again just so that management knew they were upto something. Most of the indexes had a fragmentation of 99.8% - I shit you not. Anywho, we now have a 'war room' where the perf tester needs to script the entire project by tonight and come up with some numbers that will amount to nothing while we stay up and keep profiling the shit out of the application under load.
Lessons learnt - When you foresee a problem make a LOT of noise to get people to act upon it and not wait till it comes back and bites you in the ass. Better yet, try not to get into a team where people can't understand the implications of shitty design choices. War room my ass!3
Hey all, this is my first post here, and this rant is mostly towards myself. I did a stupid.
I wanted to make a new cool game for a gamejam. I've had this idea of making an 3D RPG (you probably can see where this is going) so I thought I would continue on it during the jam, trying to make as much stuff as possible.
When I started, I realized that it's too much work to get anything cool done during the jam, so I ditched the idea and began to planning on a roguelike. It didn't really feel like my thing, so I passed that too. The mistake here was that I barely tried.
Then I was thinking of making a 2D RPG and started planning on it. I was an idiot and bought a 20e asset for it.. Then I realized that it would take too much time, too, and I had wasted money. Ugh.
Cue panic, where I go through all three ideas, devoting a lot of time into each one of them, then moving to the next, then I panic more. I was an idiot, very tired idiot.
Then I remembered the magic words: "Keep the scope small!" and decided that I will make that roguelike game. I delved more into it, found a python+libtcod tutorial for it and began reading and coding.
If I had realised that earlier, I would have done good progress on that roguelike, but instead I wasted time and money on something unachievable.. Well, I learned that I should always start small. It cost me multiple headaches, money and all around bad feels.
So don't do the same mistakes as I did. Just keep the scope small.
Hopefully this was a good first post, haha. And sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language. Thanks for reading!
PS. I've been working on that roguelike a lot lately and I'm having so much fun. After this is done, I'll make something with that asset I bought so the money won't go totally wasted.9
Does anyone else get crippling fear anytime your boss wants a 1 on 1 meeting?
I always assume I'm getting fired and panic over it..even though so far that's never happened.19
Woo crunch time! The 3 panic attacks a day, no sleep, massive guilt complex, caffiene addiction, lack of seeing my wife, phone breaking(calling doesn't work), lawn needing mowing, upper management bothering all of my team, more guilt, more panic, inferiority complex, theory that coworkers think I am slacking, and technology just not working because the machine spirit decided I pissed it off is starting to get to me a little.3
Maybe coding would be fun again if I just got out of this neurotic rut.🙄
And..... it’s Monday now....8
Holy shit, today I was the first person to arrive at work... And then the alarm came on... I didn't knew the code 😅 sooooo a panic phone call later, I turned it off but holy Shit... I've never had this rush this early of the day
I did this 1 command which i didnt understood properly
But all i can say is it "apt remove" this 1 package
Suddenly i am watching my every distro related package getting purged
And simultaneously my chrome stopped working , i can no longer open nautilus or even a folder
Terminal is dead
Desktop things are changing rapidly
And.. i finally thought oh well i needed to change my flavour anyways xD
That was how i met my first kernal panic2
Not quite a rant... more of a question.
So, I'm almost 40 years old. I have a lot of work experience in varying fields, much of it in low-level management.
Truth is I've ALWAYS wanted to be a programmer.
I recently got into a somewhat competitive training program
where I'm learning to write Java, and will subsequently learn Android development. It's fairly in-depth, so it will take 10 moths to complete. My ultimate goal it's to work as a mobile dev at a great company, making products people love. Ambitious, I know.
My question is: Am I a fool for attempting to get into this field at this age? I'm starting to panic a little. I'm not sure if I'm wasting my time, or if 40 is too old to be the "newbie".
I just wanted to get this off my chest.
There we go, that time is finally coming: all of my friends are starting to look for jobs; we are all about to graduate, but i feel no desire to move forward... I wish i had their optimism, but all i feel is terror and panic every time they bring up the topic...
I have no plan, no idea of what might happen, and i don't feel like i am particularly competent in anything: I do not have much to offer to society, surely not in terms of technical skills: i'm a real shitty programmer with the attention span of a goldfish.
I am passionate about a bunch of topics, but i am not competent at them in any meaningful way: I like reading about x86 Assembly or Operating System design, but if you'd ask me to write them i wouldn't be able to really. Its all superficial, i read these things for fun but i never really accomplished anything.
And i know this is all in my head, that as soon as i find anything its probably gonna be fine, i just wish i had the enthusiasm and drive that people around me seem to have, instead of acting like a little bitch :)10
!rant just freaking out a little and need to vent steam before I boil alive.
So I have an interview with a games studio to be a Web developer and I am insanely excited however, I'm now also freaking out!
It's in two days and there will be a coding challenge there and I so totally fucked the last one that I did that I'm now just a mess of nerves and anxiety.
This would be such a fucking incredible job. It's only a junior position but it's in PHP which I've barely used in the past few months so I'm a little rusty. I have so little time.
Kernel Panic is setting in.5
Basically an addendum to all of my other rants on here.
I've been feeling burnt out for much of the past 6/7 months. Way too many projects going on, not enough time, an assehole boss, unsupportive colleagues and useless clients.
I had a mini-breakdown on New Years (maybe 3rd of Jan) where I had a million things to do before going back to work after having worked through a lot of Christmas and not seeing family. So I sat on the floor in my bedroom, shut all the doors, blinds and every light source at 2am and had a panic attack. Clutching my knees, freaking out and so tense it hurt. After about an hour of that I just collapsed and woke up a couple of hours later ready for another day of shit and it's been shitty ever since.
It'd been almost 7 years since my last panic attack and I fucking blew it because of fucking work and a cunt boss pressuring me too much.1
Me and my bestfriend joined a hackathon way back since we were in college. The task was to fetch JSON data from a REST APIs then we were given a sample link so we can compare the output between the expected output with our own. But the response from the actual API is not in JSON format, it's a string so we need to do dozens of string manipulation to match the expected output.
To submit our work we are given our own subdomain to upload our work and setup the environment and the URL will be submitted. We know how to complete the challenge but the time is running out and we were in panic mode so my friend mistakenly submitted the URL used to compare the output. We already expected to fail the challenge but what the fuck, we got a perfect score and won the challenge.1
Less stress.. No panic.. And yea.. Beer. Drink beer if you're really stressed... Helps me out everytime..
By the way I am drinking beer as I write this..10
So last week I really fucked up
I had this new implementation that was supposedly to be integrating smoothly into the rest of the service. It depended on a serialized model made by a data scientist. I test it in local, in QA environment: no problem.
So, Friday, 4pm, I decide to deploy to production. I check once from the app: the service throw an error. Panic attack, my chief is at my desk, we triy to understand what went wrong. I make calls with cUrls: no problem. Everything seems fine. I recheck from the app again: no problem.
We dedice to let it in prod, as the feature work. I go get some beers with the guys, to celebrate the deploy.
Fast-forward the next morning, 11am, my phone ring: it's a colleague of my chief. "Please check Slack, a client is trying to use the feature, it's broken"
Panic attack again. I go to the computer, check the errors: two types of errors. One I can fix, the other from a missing package on the machine that the data guy used.
Needless to say, I had a fairly good weekend.
- make sure Dev, QA and Prod are exactly the same (use Ansible or Container)
- never deploy on a Friday afternoon if you don't have a quick way to revert1
i nearly had a panic attack when 3 tables contaning transactions shows empty,. then i reconnected dbeaver and it turns out it was fine,. damn my shitty internet!
Can U decode this secrate message?!
(Too easy don't panic!)
So ... I'm just watching an anime (Musaigen no Phantom World) ... and this scene isn't related to the main plot. This is the intro of the third episode - the intros of the first two episodes were about the "phantoms", "illusions" ... :)
It starts with a blue screen and the little fairy (it's a phantom btw) said: "When the PC goes crazy, you panic quickly."
In the screenshot he says: "It is important to back up your data somewhere in case of an emergency."
A second screenshot is added in the comments.14
When a client writes a panic email: "That feature you built for our website, it does not function any more! Could you please check!" You have a look at it and it runs smoothly. You write back: "Can't reproduce the error. Everything works fine." Client answers: "Oh, now it's running again. Thanks for your quick help!"
My boss told me(less than a year experience) I am the project lead now.... Makes me nervous that 10 minutes ago I was comment bitch/business analyst..... How much should I panic? He was serious and I command 20 people who have never used git1
*Start thinking about it.
*Start seriously thinking about it.
*Push yourself to do it.
*Have a mini unconscious panic attack that tells you you're gonna fail.
*Do something else completely unrelated to what you wanted to do.
*Feel good about the meaningless shit you just achieved.
*Recognize you're procrastinating.
*Try to stop.
*You can't cause you're stupid and lack the control and discipline to trick your own mind.
*Watch video about how to overcome procrastination.
*Get a more firmer understanding of it.
*Realize you're a helpless piece of shit.
*Cry till dead inside.
*Resume daily mindless shit.1
When your company lays off an architect responsible for building a dozen very important components, and then everyone is left in a panic trying to figure out how to fulfill support requests / bug fixes in a timely manner 😑2
A primary investor in the company I work for drops by every few days and always smokes cigars in the coffee room and shuts the door..
My coffee and his cigar routines have never collided before today, I'm now trying to figure out the lowest impact server or utility I can shutdown that will cause enough panic to get him out.2
Had to use Windows 10 at work as my ubuntu went down today with kernel panic.
Holy shit, This thing is terrible!
I had to open a json file and it opened in microsoft json editor of some sort.
I went to 'open with', changed to notepad, checked always in notepad.
Opened the json again : Microshit json editor!
Changed to notepad, opened again : Microshit!
I mean it is one thing to recommend something and a totally different thing to compell! Get it together Microsoft! You are killing it more!5
When I corrupted the keystore for my production android app apk. Oh the panic! I ended up uploading it again and telling the users to download the new app.2
So I enventually spent 2 years working for that company with a strong b2b market. Everything from the checkouts in their 6 b2c stores to the softwares used by the 30-people sales team was dependant on the main ERP shit home-built with this monstruosity we call Windev here in France. If you don't know it just google and have some laugh : this is a proprieteray FRENCH language. Not french like made by french people, well that too, but mostly french like the fucking language is un fucking french ! Instructions are on french, everything. Hey that's my natural language okay, but for code, really ?
The php website was using the ERP database too, even all the software/hardware of the massive logistic installation they had (like a tiny Amazon depot), and of course the emails of all employees. Everything was just handled by this unique shitty and so sloooooow fucking app. When there was to many clients on the website or even too many salespeople connected to the ERP at the same time, every-fuckin-piece of the company was slowing down, and even worse facing critical bugs. So they installed a monitor in the corner of a desk constantly showing the live report page of Google analytics and they started panic attacks everytime it was counting more than 30 sessions on the website. That was at the time fun and sad to observe.
The whole shit was created 12 years ago and is since maintened locally by one unique old-fashion-microsoft dev who also have to maintain all the hardware of all the fucking 150+ people business. You know, when the keyboard of anyone is "broken" cause it's unplugged... That's his job too. The poor guy was totally overstressed on a daily basis and his tech knowledge just saddly losts themeselves somewhere in the way. He was my n+1 in a tech team of 3 people : him, a young and inexperimented so-called "php developer" who was in charge of the website (btw full of security holes I discovered and dealed with when I first arrive at the job), and myself.
The database was a hell of 100+ tables of business and marketing data with a ton of specific logic added on-the-go during years. No consistent data model or naming. No utf8. Fucked up relations that ends with queries long enough to fill books. And that's not all, all the customers passwords was just stored there uncrypted. Several very big companies and administrations were some of these clients. I was insisting on the passwords point litterally all the time, that was an easy security fix and a good start... But no, in two years of discussions on the subject I never achieved to have them focusing on other considerations than "our customers like that we can remind them their password by a simple phone call if they lost it". What. The. Fuck. WHATTHEFUCK!
Eventually I ran myself out of this nightmare. I had a few bad jobs already, and worked on shitty software already. But that one really blows my mind (and motivation for a time too). Happy it's over.1
When you're panic attacks stop Midway as you realise you don't have the time to deal with that shit you know you need a break1
Spent about six hours writing tests and coding a user log in system for a Rails app last night. Finally finished at around 2:00am. Commited, pushed and merged, then called it a night.
Woke up today and Postgres is refusing to play nice. Spent twenty mins or so fixing that and then ran rspec.... Two thirds of my tests are missing - everything I wrote last night. I check my code and sure enough, they aren't there.
Wild panic ensues for a solid 5 mins before I realise I didn't actually pull the updated master branch after deleting my feature branch last night.
Now I feel like an idiot, but a relieved one.
The panic when there are only two competent programmers in the scrum team, and PM says he is moving one to another team.
Almost burnout story? What about right now...
Customer was really positive about the new site we are creating for them then, out of the blue panic, they complain about features (calculations) which aren't implemented yet (they didn't provide any information for the calculation until 1 week ago.) And they complain that the site does not has any content
THAT IS RIGHT YOU DUMB FUCKS...
I can't magically create content for YOUR site...
So I installed the JACK audio connection kit on my Linux box, set up drivers, configured routings properly, etc etc.
Tried playing basic sounds. No output. Panic.
Redid configuration, tried again. No output. Panic++
Reinstalled JACK, tried again. No output. Panic++
Reinstalled drivers and checked ALSA (audio subsystem). All good. Tried again. No output. Panic++
Hit the Mute shortcut on my keyboard to unmute my speakers, tried again. Worked. :facepalm:
I am such an idiot, fml.2
On a doomed project. Nobody seems to know what anyone was suppose to have done last week, or the plan for this week.
I've warned them more times than I can count.
I could help, but I'll just sit here with my feet up, eating a snickers and watch them panic1
Ok people. I got a contract last year with a company, and I was their support for one year, which ended back in February. They still email me for all their problems. I don't know why. They emailed me today, for Christ's sake, on the Saturday of Easter, to tell me that their 3rd party software can't send them emails because the mailserver has that IP on greylist asking me to look into it and find a solution. AS IF I CARE! I'm with my family, taking a break for two days damn it. Panic attack came, my heartbeat rate problem kicked in and now I can't calm down. I'm trying to get into the "I don't give a fuck" mood but I can't, I'm too responsible for that, in the worst dramatic way (the world is gonna end etc).
Piece of advice:
Be very clear next time you come to terms with another company, be precise and don't let them have it their way.9
Cry and panic because they don't know the required technology to complete the task.
(We all go through this. Some people just cannot contain their emotions though).3
30% setting u partitions for arch
20% fixing typos that caused some kernel panic
20% trying to find a good resource for Squid
20% Giving up and reading the docs
10% choosing alcohol
I just wanna work on my personal projects which give me a valid excuse to look at smuggy anime girls2
I love you and hate you at the same time. If something breaks with the boot sequence, usually it involves using a live USB to fix the existing installation, which I directly did once I got a kernel panic.
Checked out the hard disk uuids (I was partitioning), tried chrooting but couldn't get further. Then, I booted again into the faulty Linux installation and the frikkin page said I had to run fsck on my harddrive manually. Did that in the handy provided terminal and guess what, it boots again.
Linux, you can't help people who assume issues, like me. I still like you though3
3 weeks after the GDPR panic I tought there would be no more annoying mails and stuff. But then I had an appointment at the dentist.
"Hi, I have an appointment"
Today I went to a computer store,
I ran dir /s C:\ ( "ls -r /" equivalent for Linux, sorry GNU/Linux)
left it there
Hoping someone will panic thinking that computer has been hacked5
I'm freaked out like I have never been freaked out before. My pinky finger (don't know what the actual name for it is) started to get itchy about two days ago and steadily got worse and now it's gotten to the point that it's almost numb and vibrates constantly. I guess it's because I use my laptop's keyboard and repeatedly use Shift or Ctrl keys. Anyways just wanted to share my panicky day with you all and wish you healthy fingers.
P.S. I ordered an ergonomic keyboard just today but still, you know how much we need our fingers, I have the right to panic here!6
First thing I see when I wake up today is an email from my colleague. It says we've lost a hell of a lot of user uploaded files in ALPHABETICAL ORDER. Also, it happened TUESDAY NIGHT.
This will be fun...2
First rant! I hate being OnCall. I'm just out of college, give me some time to ramp up without these panic attacks.3
Well it's been a while I suppose. Sorry I haven't been around for over a month guys. That's what happens when you're a full-time student with a full-time job.
Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, I need some advice/help. I've been working on a senior thesis project that I'm trying to deploy but I'm going crazy trying to figure out how to do it. It's a Spring Boot Java application built as a micro service. I've tried for the past 5 days to get this sucker working on Cloud Foundry with no luck. I've got a deadline to get this fucking thing live in 2 weeks and I'm getting closer to being in a panic. My question basically is, would it be easier to learn a different service/build my own solution from scratch then trying to fuck around with this? I'd appreciate anyone's advice who's had more experience with deploying Java web applications.
Here's a link to the project if anyone's interested: https://github.com/starrynights89/...21
One of our projects migrated their file-repository to another one during a major release.
Instead of giving this task to an experienced programmer, they gave it to the head of the respective dev department due to the usual release panic.
Soo.... He wrote the migration tool. It was executed during the release. Everything seemed fine so far.
A few days later. Someone from the above project came to my team due to some "strange behaviour on the production database".
They reported that they couldn't download some of the user's documents due to unknown reasons.
After quickly analyzing the current state of the new file-repository, we concluded that the affected documents did not exist in the new repository.
Then we took a look at the so called migration tool...
Well.. After nearly 30 min. we knew the root cause for that.
They only migrated the first 4 levels of the folder structure. Due to the assumption that "we don't use deeper nesting". (Facepalm)
As the head of their department wrote it, no one seems to questioned it either. Nor did they made a code review and ended up with a tool with hard coded urls to the production db, no version control, no build tool, no ci, nothing. Breaking nearly every possible company standard.
However.. That's not it. When analyzing their migration tool we noticed another even more dangerous thing.
They mixed up the id generation of the migrated documents resulting in a random assignment between customers and documents. Which is quite bad as this contains sensitive information. E.g. passports
They offered us quite a nice amount of money to fix this until EOB. We declinded as it was simply not possible in that time, but agreed to support them with the new tool.
After some time I heard that they migrated production again. And they fucked it up again. They never talked to us after we offered them support...
The third and final migration was written by us. Not only migrated it correctly. It was also way faster. By factor 20.
In the end we haven't gained anything from this rushed project as the penalties were piling up due to this fucked up migration.
After all this time I'm not sure who is to blame. In my opinion, partly all of them.
Head of department who can't and shouldn't code.
Seniors who didn't review the code and didn't ask for help.
Release mgmt who put way too much pressure on the devs.
I was working on a new feature for this legacy project.. Just minding my own buisness then all out of the blue I got an email from our client (before the email I exported the live database because I needed to reproduce a weird bug) saying the sync stopped working
The database needs to sync every 15 minutes because it has a master-master relationship with a 3rd party database..
So I was like shiiit! Did I do that!? So I checked the logs, nothing... I called the 3rd part to check if they have problems, nothing.. Then I checked the network logs... Again all fine... 30 nervous minutes later, I got a new mail... Saying it finally synced... Still have no clue what happened or if it ever was a problem... God damn clients man...
How to conduct yourself in a job interview
Simple test"Write a for loop".
First, write some nonsense bullshit for twenty minutes. Then, when you realize time is up, pass to the next question. After write more nonsense bullshit in SQL and jQuery, it's time to breath fast and panic.
Deliver your exam.
Pack your stuff and go to a cave where nobody ever will find you, cry the next three years and commit to a life of self punishment, shame and tears.
That's how you nail a job interview, suckers.3
Working hard to meet crazy deadline to finish last update before new product announcement to make it look better. Our CEO blabs about new top secret product at some conference throwing away all marketing efforts up to date and putting marketing team into panic mode. Result? They moved the announcement date without discussing it with development. Result? Our efforts and overtimes wasted and we are announcing product before it is ready. End result? I'm pissed so I wrote angry e-mail to our CEO. Wondering what will happen now :-) But with unfinished announced product and crazy deadlines they need me a lot more than I need them.
Today I submitted my code without making sure it doesn't have any bugs because I was running out of time. Fuck.
Let's hope I'm brilliant and this works out.1
Great. Facebook is building the social media system from Black Mirror's "Nosedive".
If there's anyone that could be trusted with that info it's our altruistic friends at Facebook.
What could possibly go wrong...?6
Helping a client to update their 5 years old payment system to support the new mobile PayPal library via Braintree.
Found out you need to install a server SDK that requires PHP 5.4.
Installed and then realised the server is still on PHP 5.3 (CentOS 6).
Told my client that they require a new server just so that I don’t need to manage the PHP 5.3 to 5.4 update on their live server and I can install Node to use the Braintree NodeJS SDK 😇.
Feels like heaven.2
I am SOOO fucking sick of being asked if our website and gaming servers are going to be GDPR compliant. All these game owners in a panic changing everything they do just to conform to this law.
Fuck GDPR. In all reality COME AT ME BITCH. The EU wants to grow a pair of balls and act like the world internet police? Bring it the FUCK on. You can't even stop pirating in your own country, so how the FUCK are you going to regulate and enforce this law on HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of servers, when your punk ass government can't even shutdown a single torrenting website.
Give me a fucking break, and shame on you pussies for allowing it. All you people running around scared acting like your private gaming servers are important. I give a shit less how much work you put into your server. I have put more work than most anyone else, but you don't see me trying to act self important as if my gaming server is some fortune 500 company.
Your server isn't important and neither are you. The government doesn't give a shit about your server so can we all just stop acting like this fucking matters. NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOUR SERVER.
NO ONE is going to come and sue you for not complying. GDPR is for business, and anyone that wants to argue no look it says right here it applies to all is a fucking MORON. Do you idiots stop and think or do you just believe everything typed out on paper.
THEY CANT ENFORCE THIS ON EVERYONE. They don't have the resources. So use your fucking heads and stop being so fucking scared of a law that has no resources to stop you. THEY CAN"T DO ANYTHING. EU and whoever made their polices, I DARE them to try and touch my server, I WANT them to start something with me, just so I can show the rest of the world why the Internet is still the wild west and why they have no power over me.
You think pirate bay is the only one who knows how to hide their server? You think pirate bay is the only one who keeps backups of their server to be able to re release in an instant somewhere else in the world? Bitch get real this is the internet, a place where a 5 year old can buy hand grenades from the Red Silk Road, and you wanna talk to me about your privacy? Go fuck yourself.
It's not my problem some douche bag went onto a site that used his personal information in the wrong manner. So how about you do what everyone else does and browse ANONYMOUSLY. But no it would be to easy for governments to make their own citizens responsible. Instead they have to hold all of YOUR hands, because you people are to stupid to protect yourself.
Wake the fuck up world, and stop being a bunch of whining little brats who cry for the government to bubble wrap your world so you can live safer. Natural selection is long overdue for a lot of morons still breathing air.20
tfw 256MB isn't enough RAM to load a zImage from SD, decompress it elsewhere, then boot Linux on a 3DS. OOM panic when trying to init a null wlan driver.
so close yet so very fucking far2
I received two emails today inviting me for video call interviews at two companies I applied to.
I am supposed to select a date for this week or next week, but our office resumes work on Monday, the 7th.
I only have tomorrow and the day after (3rd and 4th) left for this week. I need time to prepare, so I am thinking of booking one for 4th and one for next week.
I am trying not to start the year by skipping work. I already skipped work in December because of a brief illness (lol).
I am thinking, if I go to work on that day, I might get summoned into a meeting and miss my interview. So, I have concluded that I will have to skip work on that day, but now I can't think of excuses.
The coffee/food room on my floor is absurd.
On day, the Keurig machines, microwave oven and convection oven all disappeared. Turns out they were owned by some employees and when they moved to an other floor they took their stuff with them.
In the caffeine-deprived panic that ensued, a bunch of other employees pooled together some money and went across the street to purchase new applicances.
They now charge us 5¢ for each packet of sugar or milk/cream cup. And they announced it with a passive-aggressive poster with an angry dog on it.2
That moment of panic when you think you have done nothing all day before you remember that you integrated 2 libraries AND contributed back with a PR of feature enhancements. Today was a good day!
Was running a script to create ~50 config tables for a project. Didn't check the connection on the window in SSMS. Ran the script against the production payroll db. Panic ensued.
I will literally give half a million us dollars to anyone who programms an AI that can study and pass exams for me and that in a manner that I will get away with. Help!
I prefer to pay in bitcoin.10
What are the chances that you get busted by your manager and 3 team leaders you personally know when you are going to a job interview?
We have poor men’s silicon valley near universities. Our company’s one office moves to another university. By the one in a million luck, interview takes at the same building where our next office of my current company will be. Managers and team leaders are there to inspect the new office. I enter the building, see them near elevator. One of them see me, with panic i wave my hand to him. There is a distance of ten meters, I hide behind a column. The team leader who sees me waving thinks I am with them to inspect new office. He asks others why am I not coming with them as I learn later. I can not pretend to play along and catch up with them, due to panic and time of interview is soon already. They get into elevator and finally I dont have to hide anymore 😂.
I got into interview and c++ exam with that physcology. Little did they knew that I just completed CPP PRIMER book. I both rock interview and exam but lets see if they will return with a job offer. What a rollercoaster of emotions.
Note: I am on mobile now so can not give more juicy details for now, fingers are tired.3
Feck. My brain bluescreened during a coding interview and I had a major panic attack. No clue what or why it happened. FML.1
In This Rant: A mildly satisfying piece of mind story.
Using code to prove yourself right is a hell of a drug.
A few weeks ago I whipped up a tiny program that downloads configs from hardware we manage. Since the vendor's API documentation is hidden behind a pay wall, my method of extraction is different. It results in bigger files, but testing showed it to still be valid.
Enter today. Interns at work downloaded a config to load onto a spare machine and it won't work.
"TheCapeGreek, your configs don't work"
I was confused since I tested the files when I built it and it worked. I am also currently fleshing out that download utility's features so the fear that I've been wasting the past 2 weeks on improvements is looming.
Last 15 minutes of the day and nothing else to do so I figured I might as well whip up a string comparer. The smaller file's content is scattered in the big file so a direct diff won't work.
Code it all, quick hardcoded proof of concept code, bit it got the job done. I was right, my bigger file is still correct!
Turns out the issue was with the machine they were configuring. They found this out before I finished my test code, so I'm off the hook already, but it was good to have piece of mind haha!1
"Do you actually understand what you are typing??"
What's your best saracastic answer to a non programmer asking this?
I find it so absurd I kernel panic.7
Worst prod scenario experienced - on site in small African country working on CRM/billing system my colleague was testing some new SQL and after finishing decided to drop and recreate the DB. She thinks the process is very slow and suddenly realizes she is dropping the prod DB. In a panic she shuts down the system and starts doing a restore from tape, but is so stressed out she writes "tar cv" instead of "tar xv" and overwrites the backup with the broken DB. Took a while to clean that one up...2
> be me
> change theme in vscode
> syntax highlighter stops working for php
> panic mode
> removed personal settings for php
> removed all settings
> back on default
> find a github issue, marked as closed
> wake up
> start working
> cannot work without syntax highlight
> find another github issue, saying the theme I want doesn't supports syntax highlighting
> back on default2
When a client (that I’m building an admin dashboard for) calls me in a panic and tells me all their servers are down and asks me to fix them.
Of course I don’t even have access to their DevOps stuff, but I get access from them, log on, and...
Fix the issue in 2 minutes!
You know, because I’m a baller and I do baller shit.
I average 2000 emails in my inbox a month. Mostly things telling me they are ok, I now know when to expect emails and worry if the are delayed.
TL;DR: Fuck fucking Arch fucking Linux. Gentoo. Yay or nay?
So over the last few days my arch install has gone to hell. A small install of a package brings up some other update as it needs an updated version, then shit starts to segfault. I've been compiling anything and everything from sources rather than using pacman, and it works great. My DE has an issue with animations and does a FULL FUCKING KERNEL PANIC when I as simple as change what virtual desktop I focus. I'm genuinely so fucking done with Arch and I wish to change. I'm not touching Ubuntu with a 10 foot pole, nor any other Debian shit, so I'm wondering whether Gentoo might be it. Anyone got experience with it? Worth a shot for an experienced linux user?12
I know I've been spending way too much time in doors programming because I had a panic attack while at the grocery store. I've never had one in a long time.1
I used that cmd command to spread panic.
msg * "Please,save your work.Server maintenance.Rebooting your computer in 30 seconds"
A month ago,me and my two friends where working on a Android app and we were using firebase for database.We did some changes and ran the app.We got a blank screen!In panic we made some changes in database and did half an hour of debugging, then we realised what's wrong!
Actually one of my friend accidently switched off the WiFi that's why data wasn't loading and we got a blank screen1
"Boss, we have a problem!"
"Don't say that, we call it -opportunity-"
"Boss, we have a lot of opportunities, the server is down."
"Ow..that's a problem"2
when the client's consultant try to micro manage the project and create panic on the whole team... fml2
Thesis Defense is coming this end of the month. Panic mode. What to say, what's not, what's right, what's left. 😂1
Welp, it is panic attack time. Can't sleep because of work stress, which stresses me out even more. Can't get my work done because of bullshit meetings I can't skip. Coworkers are possibly being purposefully idiotic. Can't take vacation because we are in the middle of shit. I am not even coding, just writing documentation about the same crap everyday because of perviously mentioned idiotic developers. They have the same info as me, but refuse to work on even a draft version until I paint a screen WITHOUT the button they need to remove. I want to code so I can point at it and feel good, but no. And people keep talking to me. FUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!3
!rant, just asking the wise devRant community for advice:
What is a good laptop that works well with linux? Thanks in advance :)11
>Raspberry Pi on 16GB SD card
>Plugs in 2 flash drives for space, one 8GB and one 32GB
>8GB is allocated entirely for swap
>32GB is separated into 3 partitions and /etc/fstab edited to mount them on /home, /opt and /usr
>Moves files to the proper partitions on stick
>Kernel panic on boot before keyboard is enabled, kernel panic data taller than screen
>No R/W FS for kernel to dump to
fuck my life4
I left for a week and someone deployed my code to production after being completely tested by qa on a Friday night. I get into the office after being gone for a week and am told that production has been down for many customers for several days. In a panic I start troubleshooting my code with the "What the fuck did I do wrong" face.
Development and qa were in a frenzy to figure out what happened, several developers were trying to figure out what went wrong by tracing through the source code for days, fucking days!
In that while time Noone thought to roll back the code. So, I was in a bind and thought "might as well get a box". Before that I looked at the deployment instructions: only the dll's were pushed, no db or resource file changes were pushed. In 20 minutes after I got back: no more problems for any customers and everything is working fine.
At least I found this picture of turtles wearing raspberries.
I've decided to install ArchLabs onto my USB stick (going to call them dongles because that sounds cool).
I tried in VM, it installed in around 10 mins.
I booted into actual liveCD, everything went good until partitioning. I think I did everything right and it should work but I have a slight fear that I mistyped /dev/sdc as /dev/sda.
Then I progressed to installing bootloader. Everything was fine for 1 minute. Then it went creepy. I already waited for 20 minutes (in VM it took 20s). I'm going to leave PC on overnight while panicking a bit. Hope it goes well.4
Tldr: boss needs his priorities sorted
So as I already wrote about this issue earlier (in a comment) now it's time to actually write the rant...
I'm working between the holidays, not much just doing planning with the boss. Mind you, startup company, so limited resources and all, that's why I'm on planning as well.
So he goes to the whiteboard and draws a line in the middle, writing headings to each side: Need (Panic) and Nice (ASAP). It's starting off well.
We add about 10-ish items to each side, which is kind of okay - then he starts highlighting with different colors within the Need list saying okay, red circles we need NOW, green circles... "Now but later".
How do I not laugh? And now he wants to do even more priorities within these sections and a Soon list just as last time...
This is getting really ridiculous.
Send help (and coffee)4
TLDR; WINE+me=system binaries gone. (HOWTHEFUCKDIDIDOTHAT) Kernel panic. Core program files gone. I'll never have it fixed right. Will backup, then install fedora tomorrow.
I really like games and I'm sure there are many of you who can relate. Imagine my perpetual pain, being on the job hunt, no money, and only my Linux laptop for games. (It's only Linux because of a stupid accident and a missing windows installation disk, partly explained in a previous rant). My stack of games my dad and I have played over the years, going back to populous and before, looked light enough for my laptop to run them smoothly. I wanted to see if I could get one to work. My eyes settled on simcity 4 and Sid Meier's railroad tycoon, 13 and 10 years old, respectively. Simcity didn't work as many times as I tried following online instructions. Disk 1 went fine. Disk 2 showed up as Disk 1. Didn't think much of it, so long as the computer could read the contents. I downloaded playonlinux as that could apparently do the complex stuff for me. Didn't work. I gave up with it after an hour and a half.
Next was railroads. Put the disk in aaaand it says SimCity disk 1 is in the tray. Fuck right off, thank you very much. Eject, put back, reject, eject, fiddle in wineconfig, eject, more of this, and voilà it read as railroads :) Ran autoplay.exe with wine, followed instructions, installed it, and it worked! Chose single player, then the map and setting, pressed play, and all the models of the buildings and track were floating in the air over a green plane, the UI is weird and the map doesn't represent anything but trains. All the fkin land is gone, laying track is gonna be a ballache.
I quit it and decided bedtime.
sudo shutdown -h now
shutdown not found.
reboot not found
Nope, I don't like this.
Force choked my laptop by the power button. Turned it on again.
Lines of text appear.
Saw a phrase I've only ever seen on Mr Robot.
Nooooo thanks, not today, this is fiction.
I turned it off and on. Same thing. I read the logs and some init files couldn't be found. I got the memory stick I used to install mint in the first place and booted from that. I checked the difference between my stick's bin and sbin and the laptop's, and it was indeed missing binaries. Fuck knows what else has happened, I only wanted to play games but now I don't know what is or isn't in my computer. How can I trust what's on it now?
I go downstairs and tell my dad. He says something about rpm, but this is Linux so it won't work. I learn that binaries can be copied over, so maybe I can fix it.
Go upstairs again, decide not to fix it. Fedora is light, has a good rep for security, and is even more difficult to get games on, which is my vice. There are more reasons, but the overriding one is that I'm spooked by the fact that something I did went into and removed system binaries, maybe even altered others, so I want something I'm less likely to do that with. Also my fellow cs students used to hate on it but my dad uses and recommended it so I want to try it.
Also, seriously, fuck wine/PlayOnLinux/my inability to follow instructions(?)/whatever demons haunt me. Take your pick, at least one if not more is to blame and I can't tell which, but it's prooooobably the third one.
It's going to be 16 hours before I touch my laptop again, comments before I backup then install fedora are welcome, especially if they persuade me to do differently.
P.S thanks for reading this mind dump of a post, I'm writing while it's fresh but I'm tired AF.6
Here it comes! The annual Mac Os X upgrade, fuckup and clean install! 48 hours of thrilling hoping to get things done and lovely boot piano sound three times in a row!
Hope you burn, motherfuckers. Burn and suffer at least the same amount of hours (days!) I've been trying to fix your cheesy, crappy, weak silver garbage. I have lumps in my back which lasts longer than your technology. Go kernel panic your greedy narrow view asses.5
Scheduled an on-site. *internal screaming*
Does anyone have any resources for studying distributed computing and operating system topics or have any pointers for studying for a systems design interview?
Also, how did y’all get comfortable with recursion? I don’t have issues with problems I already know the solutions to but it’s like when that’s not the case my brain just goes into panic mode for a bit.
Teach me your ways?7
Thank god for Git. I fucked up my webpage beyond repair and I am not an expert in html div alignments. I pulled in a commit I did an hour ago and at least got the page back to normal. I don't even want to imagine what devs did before the days of source control. D:
Tomorrow will be spent learning how to better follow closing </div> tags. :(4
I hate ot when your client has access to new relic and they panic and start creating critical issues when the linux db server is is 80% memory..
After a 2h conference call the client said he was going to contact a 3rd party dba because he didn't believe it was normal.
Today I had a full-day job interview for a junior data scientist position.
First I met the team which was only like half of everyone because apparently everyone was gone on Fridays. However the few there were really nice.
First task is to do some basic data analysis stuff even though I already spent a week on the coding challenge and sent them all my code/tasks. I log into my machine and create a new virtual environment but can't for the life of me figure out how to use the command line in windows to install packages. Turns out there is some problem with their proxy and they have to log me in on that. Then I am struggling on the keyboard because it's for a language different that my mother tongue and it takes me 3x as long to so the most simple things. All my shortcuts are out the window. Haven't a hard time typing parentheses and brackets. Start freaking out and have a panic attack mid task. I'm sweating bullets. I didn't even make it to the simple visualization tasks much less the models at the end. Time gets called and we all go to lunch and I'm freaking out on the inside the entire time. Angry at myself because I know I am better and just couldn't think.
After lunch I present my code and results from a coding challenge I did weeks prior. People from other teams get invited and I end up getting grilled for 2 hours by 15 people. Questions are flying in from all sides. They ask me almost everything I know about machine learning and some more. Under stress I forgot the name of the optimizer I used and couldn't answer some easy stuff because my mind was racing.
Right now I am on the train home and my body physically hurts. I am disappointed with myself and wish I could have shown up better. Never really froze up like this before.2
Human Resources Ministry: Releasing hospital infection numbers would cause panic
The good old negligence in the Hungarian healthcare system (infections occur because of human negligence).
It is only an article title, but inside it says that the Human Resources Ministry is delaying releasing the statistics for infections in Hospitals.
They had a lawsuit against them, but appealed it with "the statistics could be identified as personal data" which is bullshit, because these are summed statistics.
TLDR: Hungarian government is hiding hospital infection statistics from citizens with bullshit arguments
Whenever there's a crisis I immediately slow down.
Get calm. That has to be step one, as long as it takes. Then (usually) the crisis is actually no big deal and there's a simple solution, but you'll never find that during panic mode.1
Yeah I mean I love Linux, but a kernel panic just when you want to relax and enjoy a nice programming evening? Really Linux? Come on…3
Upon returning from vacation, the chief abbot of the Laughing Monkey Clan found his temple in a state of panic and disarray. The financial system they had just modified was throwing NullPointerExceptions for all new customers. These users, disquieted in the extreme, were terminating their accounts after barely a day.
With some difficulty the abbot traced the problem to a method whose stated purpose was to return a List of the user’s transactions. If there were no transactions it returned null, rather than the empty list.
“Bring me the monk who wrote this method,” he told the temple guards. “And also the monk whose code invokes it.”
The first monk, who was the elder of the two, declared that the blame should be placed squarely at the feet of the second. “My Javadoc was clear in the extreme. It is not my fault that he did not check for nulls.” The second monk hung his head in shame and said nothing.
The abbot clapped his hands and two tall jade urns were set upon the floor, one before each monk. “Your punishments have been written on slips of paper within. Each day you are to remove the first slip your hand touches and obey its decree to the letter, until your urn is empty.”
The younger monk was bade go first. His hand had not gone halfway into the urn when the rustling of paper was heard. Reading the slip, he bowed and left the room.
The elder monk reached deep into his own urn until his fingers brushed the cold bottom. “There are no slips of paper in this urn,” said the monk, the slightest smile playing at the corner of his mouth.
“Neither are there fish, nor ten mountains,” said the abbot.
The elder monk then cried out in pain. The urn fell over and shattered. A scorpion scuttled away across the tiles.
The abbot regarded the dying monk. “All nothings are not equal.”
To Mac fan boys... Suck it. In the time I've had 1 BSOD on Windows 10 I've had 7 kernel panic on Mac is x at work. And the MBP is newer.6
A few years ago:
Installing Visualstudio 2008 on Xp.
Pc is laggy as f.
Start browsing nsfw to kill time and boss comes over. Try to close browser and not working. Start to panic a bit. Boss comes over looking at black boxes.
Pictures didnt render. I was so lucky1
I need help. Grub wont boot arch.
"end kernel panic - not syncing: Vfs: unable to mount root fs on unknown block 0 0"
And yes, i have googled but none of the answers i found worked
I need help from all you arch people14
I have a job(not really paid enough), and tomorrow I have a job interview for a front end developer at a company thats around 1 hour drive where I live, so the company is in the different city. Main reason I want a job(a good paying one) is because I want start living there.. start my own life. Everything would be fine but Im 22 years old and 3rd year in college. College is in my hometown where I live now. So every week I would have to catch a bus to my hometown to go to college, and then back.. My parents don't really aprove of this, and I will get no help from them if I move away.. Yeah, waited for this interview tomorrow for a month, and had many arguments and fights, and even one "panic attack". Pretty stressfull time for me now.. Can't wait to just see what will come out of this..
If I get the job, it will be a huge step for me, and probably lose some people who black mail me to not move away.. either I succeed or I fail..6
Wrote a PLSQL exam yesterday.
Had to do it on a sheet of paper instead of using Eclipse (which we normally use in lessons)
My brain :
kernel panic - not syncing
It was the worst exam I’ve ever taken😅4
So simple but so hard.
Having a bad cold I'v been home for a few days. Finally I could bend down without my head exploding so I could replace a harddrive in my ceph system.
I took everything off line, installed the new drive and did all the right things,
but afterwards it didnt come up.
It didn't make sense so I googled for hours while my fever were getting stronger without finding the answer.
So I gave up and reverted my changes and plugged in the old harddrive...
It still didn't work... a bit of panic. I mean... its all my files!
After a lot of sweating (no caused by fever) I realised I moved two ceph-mon processes a few weeks ago but I never rebooted the system afterwards, to fix it all I had to do:
systemctl enable ceph-mon
on two machines.
Summary: make sure things work after reboot and don't do challaging stuff while your brain is all scrambled.
Starting to panic because live system was serving 404.html quite often.
It's just the ID of a content page 😅
So today we had a pre-sprint-planning meeting where the POs told us about the stories currently in the backlog. They went ahead and "roughly prioritised" some of them. Their priorities were:
- normal (but asap please)
- has to be done this sprint, because the feature has to be in the next release (code freeze after this sprint)
- top priority, because this has to be in the previous release (which was released last friday)
The non-normal stories alone are about twice our normal velocity. Good job guys. Good job.
I had the worst weekend of my life!! Accidentally poured coffee on my laptop.My phone decided to act up as well. I have never felt more alone!( A whole weekend without devRant )
What do you do when you have water or coffee spills on your computer?12
Today's BSD fortune scared the shit out of me.
"panic: kernal segmentation violation. Core dumped
When you're at an interview and they give you 5 mins to answer a technical problem and you panic, give an uncertain, semicorrect solution and the minute you walk out you know the best answer. FML.2
Company in Norway I'll be going to have an interview with, plus a technical test. They liked my CV but I'm definitely under qualified (and they know it, as my CV shows everything. #Honesty). The CV was passed on by a friend's partner. Initially it was just an informal chat/interview but now it's a two part interview with a technical test.
I'm ill right now and have a personality questionnaire to fill out for it, as well as a 20 page report to get done by tomorrow for Uni. I feel extremely rusty regarding technical stufd since I left my industrial placement as a web dev months ago and didn't use Python for the year I was there. This is a Software Developer/Data Analyst. My maths probably isn't the best either (though I'm happy to get better).
Time to prepare myself for rejection but a nice trip to Oslo! 😁
(And yeah, you can yell at me if you want. I'm aware this is just stupid but hey, it's devRant)5
> Got old netbook
> Want to install arch + i3 on it
> Be lazy, choose manjaro i3 edition
> wget manjaro-i3.iso && dd if=!* of=/dev/sdb
> test with qemu, works
> try with netbook
> duckedgo manjaro i3 i686
> not in this plan of existence
> fuck this, I'll use pure arch
> duckedgo arch i686
> not in this plan of existence (bis)
> finally find archlinux32
> champagne !
> wget archlinux32.iso && dd if=!* of=/dev/sdb
> test with qemu, works
> boot netbook from usb
> get to grub, choose "boot live arch linux"
> kernel panic - no working init found
> go to bed, nobody ain't got time fo' dis
Seriously tho, if one of you has a solution or knows a supported i3 or barebones version or Linux to install on an old guy, I'm all ears...3
Lately, I've been working in a web security company (mainly as a Support guy).
Going through tickets, I've found one golden gem, which helped me realising how dum customers are.
Since he's our customer, we try to keep stuff up-and-running at all times. If something goes bad, we fix it, and we need their passwords for stuff.
After the customer (somehow) got hacked again, he changed the password in panic.
Note the initial password was really, really good.
He emailed us the new password for "just in case".
The password is "hard-to-guess".
What. The. Actuall. Fuck.
Setting the password "12345", activating 2-step-authentication and sending his phone in, along with his finger so we can unlock it with touch id?2
Chemical Brothers for hard core coding.
Panic! At the Disco for mid-day programming.
My Chemical Romance for late evening debugging.
One can say I have a punk coding style .6
I once was working on my family's business during summer and was doing something on the laptop that was there (according to the owner, it was in a "good shape" - oh my god that laptop nearly gave me cancer: an old Toshiba, running W10, with half the F keys not working - specially F5. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT F5 OH MY GOD -, and also the ➡ key (arrow keys). It was bought in a flea market and some IT guy, a friend of the owner, repaired it a bit and installed the OS because a laptop that old ran WinXP or Win Vista for sure) when suddenly it died on me.
I rebooted the thing and right before the time it should be showing the windows logo, the screen froze (on a black screen with some text) and it started to beep. Loudly. A loud continuous beep. I turned it off and on some times after that, seeing if turning it off and on did something (as it seems to work LoL) and it continued with the beeping. After a quick search I found out that that was a common problem with Toshibas that old, and that I needed to press F2 (that key worked thank god) when the black screen with the text showed up (I don't remember what was written there, it were some booting instructions, I think).
It worked. Great. Now the N key doesn't work when I press it. Greeeeeeeaaaaaat. Also it seemed that, when I opened the start menu, it would automatically write "nnnnnnnn(...)" without me pressing any key (pressing any key would make it stop though, maybe it was stuck).
Then I told the owner not to turn it off, because the laptop would start beeping and such (and I know he'd panic about it).
From then on I think it went off for good and now he's been using his own Toshiba, that runs Vista and is slow as all hell.
Moral of the story: he should have been used his crappy PC from the beginning, at least all its keys work
(Note: watching him type hurts my soul. When one is used to use both hands to type, and is fast-ish on the keyboard and uses tabs to change fields, watching someone type with only one hand every 2" or so and using the mouse to change fields hurts. So much time wasted 😭)
Was hoping someone with experience can provide insight or advice on this. It's a long one, so thanks in advance to everyone who took time.
Received a great job offer a few weeks ago and was told I'd get a contract in January. They seemed pretty switched on about the kind of problems I might be facing and even raised my asking price, so I'm definitely not interested in looking elsewhere.
However, I started getting interview requests Thursday last week, one of which is for next Thursday.
Received and signed contract on Friday. Haven't received copy with employer's signature yet, but it's still early so np yet. However, I still haven't replied to the interview requests.
Should I turn down the requests or accept them and hope I get the contract back in time to cancel? I mentioned to the recruiter that I was receiving interest from other companies and I wanted to seal the deal with this company, but didn't receive response yet advising me whether it's cool to keep my options open.
I don't wanna look dodgy to the dudes I signed with in the unlikely event they find out I accepted interviews. I also don't wanna come across as combative or a pain to work with by pressuring them to sign soon.
However, I also don't wanna have a panic attack in the middle of revision season if I don't hear from these guys for a week (they get pretty busy at times). I feel like I could be sentencing myself to short-term anxiety (and I'm already anxious af in final year) if I start turning down offers before I have a signed contract.
When I was in 2nd year of University, I got a job at a company that belonged to one of my teachers. Keyword: "2nd year"... I was still a noob :p
The project had to deal with mpegts streams, and at some point I had too much .ts files on my pc from running tests.
So one night, I searched for ".ts" in the whole drive and selected everything then deleted.
Then next day, I went to the customer to show him progress, and there I had nothing! Almost all of the source code was deleted. I had no backup anywhere, and no source control, not even .zip files
The funny part was that the customer happened to be the military of defense. I had people with too mamy stars on their shoulders waiting behimd me for the software to run.
I didn't panic though, at that moment I knew that windows deleted any file that contained "ts". I didn't touch my laptop after deleting, so I downloaded some recovery tool, and recovered everything :p
Ofc, as alwaus with customers, they didn't like the result but that's a different story...
While i do have a homelab, I decided to use my raspi for PiHole and Ubiquiti Cloudkey. Last week I started not being able to access either WebUI, or ssh into it. So today I figured i'd look into it.
Plugged in the hdmi cable, and lo and behold... kernel panic.... Well, guess it time to spin up docker containers on my homelab instead
So I found the reason of kernel panic, my laptop's hdd is fucked, lost all the data. Now using a live usb until I get a replacement. Silver lining is I won't install windows for dual boat and replace elementaryOS with arch linux. I want a proper fight now.1
That moment when: You're asked to quickly code a fake login screen and you have a deadline to add it to 10 devices before 2pm.
First build: Forgot to force it to be on top, forgot to add closing preventions
Second build: Due to it going on tablets, it needed an onscreen keyboard, but being on top all the time means the builtin onscreen keyboard doesn't work.
Third build: Forgot to add try and catch exceptions which caused crashes
Final build: Avast kept closing and opening it due to DeepScan
Had a shitty day and no idea who else tell so I'll just leave it here. Had like the first part of leaving exams in school (before university). Today was the last day and we were writing an exam from math. Kinda got panic attack in the middle of it, because it came to my mind "what if I can't make it?" so I lost a lot of time and fucked up so much :). I guess I passed without a problem but I'm really disappointed at me, because I didn't think I would panic so much and fuck up so much. At least now I know how panic attack feels :)))))))))))).1
Straight up having panic attacks because bills are building up and I can't find even a tech support job to help out. I can't even get a call back. Any ideas?7
The product owner, cum our solutions architect is dumb.
It takes him ages to explain one shit.
Also, he is an expert on triggering useless chaos and panic, thanks to his innate abilities to misinterpret shit.
He thinks everything should happen at 3×10^8 m/s.3
Story of my first successful project
Being part of a great team, I've shared in a lot of successes, one I am particularly proud of is my first attempt to use agile methodologies in a deeply waterfall-managment culture.
Time was June/July-ish and we applied for a national quality award where one key element in the application stated how well we handled customer complaint resolution.
While somewhat true (our customer service is the top-shelf good stuff), we did not have a systematic process in resolving customer complaints. Long story short,
the VP lied on her section of the application. Then came the 'emergency', borderline panic meeting (several VPs, managers, etc) to develop a process to better manage
complaints before the in-house inspection in December.
As most top priority projects go, the dev manager allocated 3 developers, 2 DBAs, and any/all network admins we would need (plus all the bureaucratic management that wanted their thumb in the pie).
Fast forward to August, after many, many planning meetings, lost interest, new shiny bouncing balls, I was the only one left on the project. The VP runs into the dev manager in the hallway and asks "Is my program done yet? If its not ready before December with report-able data, we will not win the award."
The <bleep> hit the fan...dev manager comes by...
Frank: "How the application coming along? Almost done?"
Me:"No, haven't really started coding. You moved Jake and Tom over to James's team, Tina quit, and you've had me sidetracked helping other teams because the DBAs are too busy."
Frank: "So, it's excuses. You really think the national quality award auditors care about your excuses? The specification design document has been done for months. This is unacceptable."
Me: "The VP finished up her section yesterday and according to the process, we can't start coding until the document is signed off."
Frank: "Holy f<bleep>ing sh<bleep>t! No one told you *you* couldn't start. You know how to create tables and write code."
Me: "There is no specification to write to. The design document is all about how they plan on reporting the data, not how call agents will be using the application to serve customers."
Frank: "The f<bleep> it isn't. F<bleep>ing monkeys could code against that specification, I helped write it! NO MORE F<bleep>ING EXCUSES! This is your top priority from now on!"
I was 'cleared' to work directly with the call center manager and the VP to develop a fully integrated customer complaint management system before December (by-passing any of the waterfall processes that would get in the way).
I had heard about this 'agile' stuff, attended a few conference tracks on the subject, read the manifesto, and thought "I could do this.".
Over the next month, I had my own 'sprints' and 'scrums' with the manager (at the time, 'agile' was a dirty word so I had to be careful of my words and what info I shared) and by the 2nd iteration had a working prototype.
Feature here, feature there (documenting the 'whys' and 'whats' along the way), and by October, had a full deployed application.
Not thinking I would get a parade or anything, the dev manager came back from a meeting where the VP was showing off the new app to the other VPs (and how she didn't really 'lie' on the application)
Frank: "Everyone is pleased how well the project turned out, except one thing. Erin said you bothered him too much with too many questions."
Me: "Bothered? Did he really say that?"
Frank: "No, not directly, but he said you would stop by his office every day to show him your progress and if he needed you to change anything. You shouldn't have done that."
Me: "Erin really seemed to like the continuous feedback. What we have now is very different than what we started with."
Frank: "Yes, probably because you kept bothering him and not following the specification document. That is why we spend so much time up front in design is so we don't waste management's time, which is exactly what you did."
Me: "We beat the deadline by two months, so I don't think I wasted anyone's time. In fact, this is kind of a big win for us, right?"
Frank: "Not really. There was breakdown in the process. We need better focus on the process, not in these one-hit-wonders."
End the end, the company won the award (mgmt team got to meet the vice president, yes the #2 guy). I know I played a very small, somewhat insignificant role in that victory, I was extremely proud to be part of the team.
My friend wouldn't believe that I just spent 4h messing around to finally reinstall Arch just because Civilization stopped working.
So civ randomly started not wanting to launch. After trying tons of fixes, disabling runtime libs, changing bunch of env variables for about 2h, I started to get quite annoyed and started uninstalling stuff and reinstalling. Ended up uninstalling too much stuff, so I decided to go back to the base package and reinstall everything.
And STUPID ME decides to remove the laptop from the dock cause why not, and guess what STUPID ME FORGOT THE BATTERY ISN'T INSTALLED AND COMPUTER SHUTS DOWN DURING MKINITCPIO.
Scared, I turn it back on aaaand ...
KERNEL PANIC. FUCK.
Spent 1h trying to solve the problem, then decided fuckit and backep up data and just reinstalled Arch for the last our. I'm happily playing again now 😁 (4h after...)
I've always had this in the back of my head, and off lately it's eating me alive.
Why don't we just rename python3 to python and Python to python2?
no I'm not gonna alias it in my shell. I'm talking about renaming them in all the distros.
there've been talks about renaming python3 to python and marking it as the default for quite long, but nothing has come of it yet.
I get that a lot of shit is gonna go down if this happens rn, systems breaking, migrations, panic, a lot of systems still working on python2 but we need to migrate.
we've also been hearing a lot of speculation about "Python 4", from earlier this year.
WHAT IS HAPPENING UGHHHH
pls revolution now10
I have been on crunch time for so long, with so many hours I don't even know what day of the week it is. I legitimately had to look it up. I also calculated my hourly rate for the last 3.5 weeks, and I was making the same as a grocery store bagger! Being salaried sucks in times like this. I am paid peanuts.
Last night I woke up every 30 minutes in a panic I was late to work. This job is killing me, and all because the sales team sold the product on an unrealistic deadline, for no money...
In addition, I am gaining weight, haven't seen my family for any significant period of time for ages, and Taco Bell knows me by name and order...
On that note, next Monday I am going to go into my boss' office, and demand like a 50%-75% raise! I am terrified! Haha
Migraines are fun though. THE PAIN PROVES I AM ALIVE!8
It was the end of my first week. Friday evening and everything was going well. I'd just made a career change and loved it. My new job, boss, and coworkers were fantastic.
So I decided to play a little with a portion of the website before leaving for the weekend. I needed to learn a module that was responsible for displaying our company hours online. I was told prior to being hired that this particular part of the site was important and the only recent cause of the previous developer working long hours.
It didn't work like I thought it did, and with changing one line of code, I brought the entire thing to it's knees. Not just the part displaying hours, but the entire page, which was our home page.
I didn't panic. I called some other devs I had met. I knew they could fix it. No one answered. 4.30pm on a Friday is not the best time to reach people. Four or five unanswered calls later, I started to panic. I tried changing the line of code back, but couldn't get it right. I tired removing the hours module, but that didn't work either. 10 minutes felt like an eternity.
I finally found the history feature of our CMS. It saves versions of pages and saved me that night. I rolled back to a version of the page last modified before I started working there, and it worked like a charm.
I didn't touch that module again until I had something to replace it with.3
According to the Hitckhiker's Guide To The Galaxy you can make easy money working as counsellor for neurotic elevators.
Got a job interview on about 2 hours. I am starting to panic because I have done only 2 job interviews in USA.
It is for a big corporation and I will conduct interview with 5 people... in .NET framework which I have not used for 1 year.
And I am terrible at remembering things and I am starting to panic so bad.6
I am still at the office, and I have come to the the conclusion it is alive. I am a parasite that works in it, but by doing so I give it value so it is maintained. It's name is Smarlethotep...
A: oh hey my commit is not in the master branch...
A: *seeing bunch of commit deleted activity in bitbucket by B
A: Lol B deleted commits in master branch
B: Wait, what?! I know I have rebased my branch.. but never have I rebased anything in the master branch.. how can this be *intense breathing
B: Are you sure you have pushed yours to master?
A: Sure I've rebased, squashed, and rbt landed my work to master, here look my local master has my commit
CTO: wait what? Is this related to this bug we have in production just now? Please don't panic, let us resolve it
Turns out rbt land just squash your commit to your local master branch and they thus A have not pushed it to the remote. And the bunch of commit deleted activity were bitbucket not informing from which branch the activity was happening. Almost gave us heart attack.
When a very last minute change is required and you panic a bit, thinking it will take days to fix... but you manage to fix it before lunchtime because the API is well made.1
Rant from my previous work as a consultant Data Engineer (wish I had known this site back then).
During my stay at the place, we have a big client whose contact with us was an incompetent stressful fellow.
I single-handedly build a humongous automated data pipeline using Airflow. I am very proud of my baby as my first massive project and check it obsessively for every possible flaw, especially when writing down documentation for the poor soul that would take my place.
Luckily for me, everything is working as intended, until of course on my last day of work, shit hits the fan, and everything breaks down.
After a moment of initial panic: it was Thursday morning, we had a Machine Learning model to run over the weekend, predictions to make and reports to write and a very lovely next week deadline, I calm down.
"I won't be dealing with this shit anymore, starting from 18:00 PM and anyway Fear Is The Mind Killer."
Quite sure that it couldn't have been my code, I start looking at various logs when the culprit was clear. The B(ig) S(tupid) C(lient) changed the whole schema of the data he was feeding to us.
I call him: he has no idea of what was done to the data. Hell, at first he doesn't seem to remember what the deal with schema, data, and SQL is (the guy was supposed to be a big shot in the IT department). It turns out he hired one of our competitors to do his side of the collection pipeline. He tries to get mad at me, but everything he throws bounces back to him. I am calm yet ruthless pointing out how every major hiccup had been his fault and that I could quickly reach to his board of directors explaining why their Machine Learning model was late.
Result: he apologizes, extends our deadline, and I get a round of applause from other juniors who would have to deal with me had I failed.
Never am I happier to not work as an underpaid cannon fodder apprentice in a shitty consultant firm.
Luckily for me, everything is working as intended, until of course on my last day of work, shit hits the fan, and everything breaks down.
After a moment of initial panic: it was Thursday morning, we had a Machine Learning model to run over the weekend, predictions to make and reports to write and a very lovely next week deadline, I calm down.
"I won't be dealing with this shit anymore, starting from 18:00 PM and anyway Fear Is The Mind Killer."
Quite sure that it couldn't have been my code, I start looking at various logs when the culprit was clear. The B(ig) S(tupid) C(lient) changed the whole schema of the data he was feeding to us.
I call him: he has no idea of what was done to the data. Hell, at first he doesn't seem to remember what the deal with schema, data, and SQL is (the guy was supposed to be a big shot in the IT department). It turns out he hired one of our competitors to do his side of the collection pipeline. He tries to get mad at me, but everything he throws bounces back to him. I am calm yet ruthless pointing out how every major hiccup had been his fault and that I could quickly reach to his board of directors explaining why their Machine Learning model was late.
Result: he apologizes, extends our deadline, and I get a round of applause from other juniors who would have to deal with me had I failed.
Never am I happier to not work as an underpaid cannon fodder apprentice in a shitty consultant firm.
At the end of my shift I updated my work linux with corporate update, shutdown and go home. Next day I come to work, try to boot up but ends up in kernel panic.
tfw I lost my personal scripts and projects.
tmw when whole department has bricked computers.2
Whenever I'm assigned to a new task, my whole brain goes to panic mode. Thoughts like, how can I solve this issue as fast as possible, do I need to draw it, do I need to read an article or watch YTB videos etc.. So confused about where to start that I forget to f*** sit down and write some code.
Often times, we know the solution deep inside but are too scared to jump on it.
So my tip is - start with writing some code, and the things you don't know, well Google is free.1
I hate this crap and wish people would stop doing it. It makes my brain bleed and doesn't prevent any difficult to find bugs.
if (TERMINAL_COUNT <= index_thing)
English doesn't work that way, and I don't know about you but this crap is just awkward as hell. Sweet Jesus I wish there was less cargo cult programming in the world. Just because you saw something in a blog that convinced you that reverse comparisons is best doesn't mean it actually is. Use a damn static analysis tool to catch accidental assignments in expressions, don't twist my brain to interpret your weird phrasing of comparison operators. Some of your code reviewers may be dyslexic and have enough problems as it is.
And now for the mini-rant that I'm actually here for: You know what makes for difficult to find bugs? (Hint: It sure as hell isn't an assignment in an expression) Releasing an RTEMS semaphore you've never obtained. You'd think that would cause some kind of panic or assert failure but nope. Instead it causes... misaligned address exceptions? In statically allocated global memory? WTF??1
five minute of panic upgrading to xubuntu 17.10
dpkg was interrupted, you must manually run sudo dpkg --configure -a to correct the problem.
Fortunately sudo apt-get dist-upgrade save the day.1
Feel like shit, can't focus on work, exam coming up in about 2 weeks...
These stupid numerical algorithms are easy, and yet I manage to get stuck on every shitty little detail, I panic, and I completely lose focus.
This shit has been destroying my academic career... Can't focus properly anymore, cannot study even the simplest things - things that I used to do off the top of my head just a year ago.
My sleep schedule is FUBAR, it's a miracle if I manage to stick to the same timezone for three nights in a row.
Yet I'm still learning new things, trying out stuff and solving problems. Just not the ones that I need to pass my exams.
And before anyone says that university is useless and whatnot: I'm studying aerospace engineering.
I love it, I'm having great fun, learning amazing things, and I've met a lot of amazing people thanks to it. It's one of the few choices in life that I am certain of, and would gladly repeat over and over again.
I've burned myself out from stress, far harder and longer than I've ever done before, and I cannot figure out a way to recover from it.
I've been doing better in the last month or so, but I still cannot get any proper work done, and this is gonna bite me in the ass really hard, once again.
Funny story: I had 3 days of break between the end of the previous semester and the beginning of this one. 3 days of pure freedom.
In those 3 days, I spontaneously reverted to a normal sleep schedule (didn't even need an alarm clock) and felt like a mountain had been lifted off my shoulders.
A year ago I had no idea what truly panicking in the middle of an exam felt like.
My mind had never gone completely blank.
I had no idea what impaired cognitive ability felt like.
This shit is scary.
Why do our minds have to make things so complicated?
Transformed my gaming rig into a dual boot hackintosh since I had a SSD from my previous build laying around. Now the fucking thing boots perfectly fine besides that shitty wifi USB dongle which just reconnects 3-10 times to the wifi and then suddenly causes a kernel panic. Fucking piece of shit 😑
Went through 60 python packages to see which fails installing on the serve. Took hrs as I have no terminal access but just via jenkins pipeline. So "edit/gitpush requirements.txt and wait" many times. Eventually looped them 1 by 1 in shell. By end of day got the list that installs.
Finally sent the whole list....with confidence
-Takes full 10 mins & Fails......
(panic mode starts)
+Changed the sequence = fails, somewhere else
+1 by 1 again = installs.....
+few random without the culprit =works
+again, whole list = fails, somewhere else
Need to sleep, brain's thinking of eagles1
I handed in my notice last week, now I have to be held prisoner for 6 weeks in a company that hits all my Asperger triggers, and causes me daily panic attacks. But then... I get a big pay jump, remote working, more holiday.. and a much more fun project1
It started when life caught me off guard. It was one of those transition moment when you realized you are no longer a college student and you need to get a job.
I was clueless that time (still clueless - smh) that I didn't prepare my CV nor interviews. I got into panic mode and ask help from career service in my college (I rarely ask for help, and when I did that, I am really desperate).
Long story short, I got a job from the career service's connection. I don't think I did well in both the interview and technical test (of course, no prep or whatsoever, what do you expect?) but seems like we both in need of each other (maybe because my grades when I was in college is good... and maybe because my starting salary is low enough... and maybe because there was no better candidate at that moment) that I get picked.3
I strive for "sodd" and when that doesn't work out, then I panic because NO OTHER SITE will EVER live up to stack overflow.
(until one does 🙃)
Django wont pick up migrations for this app. Nothing in dj migration table for the app. It just won't create the tables on staging.
My panic attack is over but Im still going to lose this client over this.
That awesome moment someone accidentally deleted all the Jenkins configs and you're just praying no critical bugs come up...1
Starting at uni (Software) and moving to the other side of the country, in my new apartment in about 7 hours, so excited, but also so scared, any tips helpful comments?3
Confession : I swear -> my sweet Arch Linux was freeze in my laptop in my super lightweight tty env + tmux after about to quit demonstrate my friend about vim in vimtutor on yesterday.
(1st freeze after 1 half a year of using it. Maybe something wrong about my rot potato, but hey -> its a things ;)
(no data lost after hard reboot after all.)
(First time it failed without me thinker it ;) -> Its not my fault Jim~)12
Maybe not specifically "dev" but certainly a relatable rant to anyone here:
Moms small business gets "hacked," or standard spyware phone call from India let us save you for only $149 kind of crap. She obviously gets upset had a panic attack and thinks about all the sensitive shit on their network. Then, ONLY THEN, does she call me and the rest of the cavalry i.e. over payed and undermotivated IT guy to ask what's up why it happened and whose fault is it.
All is well, no ransom paid, no data lost or tangible damage done, but I am positive it will happen again, because it is impossible for people to internalize that they're the problem that money can't fix.
You clicked the unsolicited link. No amount of antivirus bloatware will ever be able to stop the monkey from trying to see what's in the box.
TheBut keep not paying me or people more qualified than me, and then scream and yell and pout when your shits gone and we can honestly say with a grin and a clean conscience that there is nothing we can do.
For some reason I thought it is nice to work from home and finishing my driver after working hours, until kernel panic reboot kernel panic reboot kernel panic re.... Lucky me I found someone in the office pull out the power. Lesson learned, nerver work remote if you might need to physically reboot the your device.1
your work laptop (or environment) get's stolen/lost/broken, when it's the last time you backed-up ?
and as a side question, how long will it take to get everything back up and running ?3
With the current economy in its rocky state, it is no surprise that firing levels have reached new highs in the world. According to a recent study conducted in the UK, former managers and workers who lost their lifelong jobs were able to get past their problems simply by keeping a positive attitude in mind. The theory of “mind over matter” is more applicable here than it is in many other situations as workers strive to get back a life they once had. If you have recently lost your job, you may want to focus on getting your spirits up, for instance, you can ask for help with resume writing services such as this one https://resumebros.com/, rather than spiraling into depression. By separating yourself from your former life, you may be able to see better success.
This study was published in “Organization Studies,” a journal that circulates in the UK. Researchers found that people who were able to see their job loss as a new start in life were much more capable of moving on and seeing success again. These patients viewed the change as a way to become self-employed or an excuse to volunteer and better their lives. Taking on a positive step led them to a reduced amount of trauma when compared to those that dwelled on the job loss.
The study consisted of men and women between the ages of 49 and 62 who were once senior workers in their industries with highly successful careers before them. I realize that most of the people reading this will be younger than that, but the theories from the study can resonate in any age group. The men and women in the study all suffered devastation after being laid off, and they coped with that devastation in different ways. Those that were able to separate themselves from their old jobs found it much easier to separate themselves from the pain of the loss.
All of these participants were enrolled in a program for older managers that recently encountered unemployment. The program was government funded and designed to allow out of work individuals to pick up with their lives and start again. The participants that were least successful with the program were the ones that saw their job loss as the end of their working time altogether, as if it was going to be the sole destruction of their lives. They did not handle emergency management well. Their negative attitudes forced them to cope worse than the positive attitudes of other participants.
As a whole, the study aimed to show that coaching, over the course of time, can help unemployed men and women find ways to get past their financial stumbles and get back into the work force again. Those who are willing to embrace the coaching can find themselves back into a state of financial success much faster than those who wallow in their situation. As long as these individuals can see themselves as capable, driven, and intelligent people who happen to be unemployed, they are usually able to make it back to where they need to be in life.
You can apply all of this to your own life and your path toward the future. If you lose a job that you assumed would help you after graduation, move on to something else. You may end up in a better place in the end. I recently lost a huge client of mine that paid me roughly $4,000 a month. I was devastated and a little panic stricken after the loss, but that allowed me to apply for new work with new clients. I now make twice the money from about half the work, all because I wasn’t reaching out to all my opportunities in the past. You may experience the same revelation if you keep a positive attitude.
First telephone interview, Friday at 4pm for graduate jobs. Time to panic about what I should refresh myself on, seems every country has wildly different interview topics.5
I feel so shitty and worthless as I‘m about to fail my 3rd attempt on the cybernetics exam tomorrow. Fuck this shit. But it’s only one of 3 3rd-attempt-exams I have to pass. Why were I so stupid? 😩
Sure, it’s not about skill. I made wrong decisions and it’s my fault.
And yeah, one might argue about the subject being part of my study course (avionics computer science). But i just failed.
The last weeks: Can’t sleep (and if I finally sleep, I dream sitting the exam), think straight, my body hates me, panic attacks.
When I fail, I could go for computer science, but it would mean further ~2 years of Uni. I can’t stand this.
panic() from golang. I panicked a lot as go didn't have the "evil" try catch. But then panic came for my aid.