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At first I was like: "wtf just happened? Why is that hand connected like it was a robot?".
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then I realised it's a watch.
9 -
Trying to make a not realistic deadline,set today for yesterday. Pleasing clients is what I do.
With a little #catsupport, she is probably wondering why I'm not in bed so she can sleep on me.
15 -
BOSS: That icon is not centered, move it slightly to the right
ME: You're wrong, I can garantee you it's centered (it was centered)
BOSS: Well, my eyes are telling me it's not, so move it to the right
ME: (faking increasing margin)
ME: Ok, now it's 10 px to the right, what do you think?
BOSS: it's a great result, now it's perfect! Cant you see the difference?
ME: Absolutely, you do are the real designer here...
BOSS: Ohhh, stop complaining, you'll learn one day...
ME: Yep.18 -
Boss asks me to prefer deadlines over good engineering practice. Says meeting a deadline is always more important than building things the right way.
Son, when the company goes out of business due to hundreds of millions of dollars in losses due to shoddy engineering, do you want to be the one to go to the spouses of everyone who lost their job and say "your spouse lost his job because we didn't take a few more days to build the product right"?
Son, when the company's product blows up in a child's face like a Note 7 because of your shoddy engineering, do you want to go to the funeral and tell the parents "your child died because we didn't take a few more days to build the product right"?
Fuck your arbitrary deadlines. I prefer not allowing for so much grief and suffering to be on my soul.5 -
My current project at work: purchase verification, aka anti-fraud.
It's been two weeks, and my boss is flipping out because it isn't done. A robust anti-fraud solution. in two weeks. And he thought one week was a little much.
like, fucking really?
There are companies whose entire service is helping combat fraud. and he wants this done in a bloody week?
What makes me laugh through my tears of frustration is that the company that moved into the previous office? Yep, anti-fraud. Their entire business model is providing anti-fraud services to other businesses. They even tried selling him on it when they moved in. Bossman sales guy turned it around and sold my freaking desk out from under me instead.
But like. They're a small company: they had 9 people when they moved in, and were looking to add three more, so a total of 12 people. (I totally considered jumping ship, but their stack was too different.)
So. Bossman wants me to replace 9-12 people and their entire business in a fucking week. Yeah.
"Oh, but it's just sms verification" says he. What he also wants is the ability to flag users as fraudulent, have sticky verifications so they can't bypass them by backing out, have email checks as well as sms, have deferred verification to allow collecting required info (e.g. phone number), verification fallback, lockouts, manual admin whitelisting, admin blacklisting, and different rules per merchant and rule groups for affiliates to apply to all of their merchants, and of course the ability to customize those merchant/affiliate anti-fraud rules. But he shortens this gigantic list to "I want sms verification," despite actually asking for all of the above. I don't want to know about the mental gymnastics and/or blindfolding required to equate the two, but he's nuts.
Yeah.
All of that.
In a goddamn week.
And I get chewed out when it isn't done? Fuck off.
Go build me a goddamn 5m ft^2 castle out of basalt and marble using only your toothbrush and a rusty garden trowel, and have it done in a week. No outsourcing.
talk about ridiculous.6 -
Me: *works all day and night to finish project before deadline*
Me: *has constant anxiety attacks. I'm gonna fail*
Me: *gets home and takes a 4 hour nap*
Everyone: OMG! I never see you doing any work. All you do is sleep and stare at your computer screen ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT! You need to get a job and do something with your time instead of being a lazy shit!
And people wonder why I have no fucking motivation to do these things. You are not helping my anxiety, woman!12 -
Boss: Oh can you add this feature?
Me: I added that function already and you said to take it out.
Boss: Can't you just copy and paste it from an earlier version?
Me: No its really not that simple, I removed a bunch of tables and went to town cleaning the code so it's super quick and "sexy fast" as you put it.
I go home, work all night and forget to eat.
nextDay++;
Boss: Actually just hold back on that, I'm having second thoughts.
When a project seems to be in an endless for (fucks sake) loop.8 -
When your stupid brain decides to rewrite the whole core of an application (written in a framework I just started with) two hours before the deadline and it f*cking works
1 -
Our project Right now 😂
Original deadline for project was April, we're in August and we're still in Shadow :p
2 -
tl;dr stupid clients with their stupid requirements.
Client: (on Monday) hypothetically could you implement "A"?
Me: (on Monday) yeah I could do that by Friday, let me know if you want me to start it.
Client: (on Thursday) hey remember we talked about "A" well do "B" instead and I'll need it by Friday still.
Me: "B" is completely different than "A" and will take probably twice as long.
Client: but you told me you could do it by Friday.
Me: ............ I want to smash your face.4 -
When you finally snap at your PM for setting every deadline to "As soon as possible":
SAY. ASAP..ONE. MORE. TIME.
5 -
Complains why the app is not done yet ...
Because you fucking keep coming up with new features and ask us to implement them immediately !!!??2 -
Client: "Dear Mr. I still have not received the final version yet. I had planned to send it out to my customers at the end of the week."
-------
Me (1st answer I did not give):
"Ok. I accept your statement as true, since I did not send you anything. Furthermore I respect your wish."
Me (2nd answer I did not give):
"Well I am sorry. Before today you did not once mention that there was a deadline. ASAP is not how I do things. Please do your project management."
Me (answer I gave): "Dear Client, due to a huge demand for our services we are forced to prioritise. We are doing our best to complete the project as fast as possible. Please understand however that we can not reschedule with 3 days notice. Because of technical requirements the product can be send on Friday next week. Please let us know if this works out for you. - Kind regards. Me. "
-__-""""4 -
- PM : we have no choice but to finish this before deadline.
- Me : We can't, it's a really big feature.
- PM : But we have no choice.
- Me : But we can't.
...
*What is she waiting for*12 -
Boss says that I'm getting a third project I should work on from now on.
Also says that that the deadline is at march 21th.
Then says that the other project whose deadline is at may 1st has priority over all others.
10 -
Well let's do this group rant thing.
I had to build 5 responsive Web applications in 3 weeks. Again Web applications, not websites. I slept a total of 2 hours per night in my car, and would go home every 3 days to shower.
I quit soon after.5 -
One of the bigger and more important IT projects this fall. Technical solution proposal needs to be ready by Thursday morning but is far from complete. Solution? The responsible person for this went on a two day mindfulness training. Apparently totally oblivious to the term "sense of urgency". Must be a citizen of procrastiNATION.
3 -
Porting of a huge web application from ZF1 to Laravel 5.5.
In summary:
1. approx. 200,000 lines of spaghetti code (ZF1)
2. approx. 2500 custom Javascript files
3. approx. 600 CSS files
4. hundreds of node modules and libraries
5. 12 different layouts (Home, Member, Admin,...)
6. ...
7. ...
8. ...
...
I've got six days to get this done. God help me.25 -
I'm doing code review. Unsure about the deadline, I ask my co-worker:
Me: "Guess I'm half through, when do I have to be done?"
Co-worker: "Well if you're half through, you are already half done."
Me: "No shit, Sherlock."
LOL -
Just canceled my last week vacation (of three weeks) because the deadline is in that last week. I requested my days off BEFORE the project was even planned.
They better appreciate I did this, otherwise I'll be absent when the next deadline is due.10 -
Currently in the middle of quarterly planning (its been fun so far). Needs to be signed off by business today.
- My team has ~25 man weeks available in terms of capacity.
- Looking at only priority 0 tasks, last night we calculated the ask from product stands at 64.
- Including P1's, P2's etc. its well over 100 man weeks.
- Email was sent around from business with a list of tasks, asking which can be dropped, de-scoped etc.
Product (non technical) response this morning:
- This one can't take 2 weeks, its not that complicated.
- This one needs to stay, It was originally a Q1 task.
- Can we make this one smaller? (currently only a 3 week task)
- 14 comments on other teams items.
<extreme-sarcasm>
... ah perfect, that cut down the items by less than half. We are now ready for the deadline in 4 hours to have all this signed off on. Great job everyone. Thanks for all the insightful discussions. Go team!
</extreme-sarcasm>8 -
When the stupid client is unable to explain the requirements correctly the first time and drops a frickin bomb 3 days before the deadline and boss still want to "meet" the deadline.
Me: "if this goes on, I will be dead on the line by the deadline"2 -
Hey boss, I see you working saturday 11pm updating these fucking cards...
That is why you manage to "do the impossible" , get a life dude... go be with your wife and "soon to be" kid.
Damn, no wonder he always says the deadline is possible.2 -
Pretending to have a hard deadline if I don't have one. Gotta trick my brain in putting some effort into it.3
-
“I love being disturbed with customer phone calls when I’m coding and working to a deadline” said nobody, ever!
-
Boss: Hey, remember the module due to Friday?
Me: yes...
Boss: the deadline was moved.
Me: (good news?) Ok, when is it due now?
Boss: tomorrow.
Me: ...6 -
TL;DR
5 day deadline with stupid requests.
So, after these series of events:
https://devrant.com/rants/1306582/...
https://devrant.com/rants/1303776/...
I was full on sarcasm mode yesterday and heard my name in a conversation between my boss and a front end dev ( my boss sits literally behind me ) ...
They were talking about improvements on the web app that I made in a rush to a meeting.
I was there thinking : fuck.. Don't ask... Don't ask
But I could not restrain my self and I did ask: hey, what's that about? It isn't for the meeting at day April's 9 , is it? ( in a "of course not" tone )
He said it is... With the most annoying dumb smile face he always does ( I'm convinced he might be retarded )
And I just : can't be done.
So we started chatting about it... How it is gonna be presented to our manager on Monday ( April's 2 ) for approval and how we are gonna implement it by April's 9.
Stick with me on this one:
I'm the sole dev.
The only one that know the back end tech.
The only one that deals with the servers.
I'm heeling you : 5 fucking days isn't enought!
Its gonna be 5 days if, and only if everything is approved by Monday fucking morning. Which I bet my asshole isn't gonna be.
So let's pretend we have 5 days to change the fucking logic of how shdt works we still need the data to put in there... Aaahh the data... That shit is the fucking holy-grail around here... Impossible to find.
And he said it is important for a 2nd round of investment that we do that.
These people are fucking insane...
I really don't know what to think... I'm gonna have to go full rage-mode once more to accomplish this?
I'm already burned down from the last couple weeks doing that.
I used my last energy with the last rush... For nothing.4 -
Got an email earlier this week. It went something like this:
"It looks like your team still hasn't delivered the logging and monitoring solution that we asked for. Can you get it done in time for our production deployment next Friday?"
Um, wait, excuse me, WHAT?
1. You never actually asked for the thing you claim we didn't deliver. In fact, when we brought up the fact that you should probably have some monitoring set up for your servers, you said it would be handled entirely by your own team.
2. I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS PROJECT FOR SIX MONTHS WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOUR DEADLINE UNTIL NOW
3. I won't even have time to start working on this until the Monday after your prod deployment date. Sorrynotsorry.
I really shouldn't be surprised though. This project has been a clusterfuck from the very beginning so this is just par for the course.2 -
Deadline for tomorrow. All I see in my head is:
HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX HOTFIX2 -
"What we can do to get all on time? ", manager asks
"Can we have 4 more developers on the project?", dev asks
"No, that's not gonna happen. Let's be realistic", manager says
"Is it realistic to ask 3 devs to ship 20 features in a week, reviewed and tested?" dev asks
"Actually 2 of you, because our contractor goes into a vacation. But you can do overtimes, can't you?"
"I prefer not to but even in that case I can't guarantee that as it's not realistic. But at least can I leave earlier and work more from home more because there are severe delays on the train lines and if I have to commute 4 hours a day it won't help", dev says
"Well, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. You have to communicate with people, you know. We have to ship things. But we can discuss this tomorrow as I have to leave early today. I have to take my kids from school"
Really? Wtf?4 -
To client: "I will have the project ready in 4 weeks" - starts work on the last weekend before the deadline.
Why do I always do that?2 -
Behind schedule on my current delivery, but it could be worse
Article: https://pcmag.com/news/361070/...
3 -
Boss quoted Yoda today, to my answer to if I would be able to deliver today a freaking huge project I've been working on, 14 days before the rescheduled deadline I was given, just because the client is pissed with them.
3 -
WE HAVE 12 DAYS TO SAVE US NET NEUTRALITY
www.deadlinefornetneutrality.com
LET'S GO SHOVE OUR BAD CODE UP CONGRESS' ASS UNTIL THEY FORCE THE FCC TO GIVE OUR RIGHTS BACK7 -
Coworker: We you have to estimate these tasks.
Me (thinking): This task should take one day, but I'll add 4 hours in case something unexpected happens again.
* Estimates 12h
Coworker: Alright, the tasks for this sprint have been selected. Please start to work on them.
Me: * Starts working on certain task
* Sees time available for task
2d 4h (=20h)
* Writes coworker
Dude, that much time is overkill for that task!
Coworker: Yeah, the client said something similar.
Me: Then why did you estimate it that high?
Coworker: 🤷♂️
Me: Ok, what am I gonna do with all that extra time? 😑
Coworker: 🤷♂️
Thanks mate.
Around 4 hours in and almost done. What should I do with that extra time?
Task in question: Add a mutually exclusive field to a database table, add it to the form, test it and update the docs.
Enjoy the unrelated, clickbait cat
15 -
While working on my one of the first project in java i ended up using deprecated Calendar API for the date. Since deadline was near i thought it would be a good idea to use the JCalendar API for as date picker (which is a third party API).BAD IDEA. It was the night before the submission round about 11pm when i realized that there is no way to convert JCal object into Calendar and it turned out it is not working as expected you have to subtract a particular number from the year to get date right.
To convert JCal into Calendar i used the toString function to get the date in string sliced it using substring into year,month,day then had to assign date to Calendar object via constructor.
Had to write 70 lines of code just to convert JCal into Calendar...
And then there were other complications related to this problem. Had tu pull an all nighter just to solve date related problems
LESSONS LEARNED :
NEVER USE A DEPRECATED API
NEVER USE THIRD PARTY APIs WITHOUT RESEARCH
7 -
How many times have I ask my boss about the new project's deadline only to get "it has to be done by yesterday". Damn, boss, if you know, that we are occupied, then don't get a new project, only to blame the coder for promising an impossible deadline to the client!2
-
Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"
Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"
Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"
...
Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?4 -
It's amazing what two cans of redbull and monster, a well organized to-do list on Wunderlist, 36 hours of nonstop programming and a deadline that's dangerously approaching can do in a sane man.
Now excuse me world but I'll have the longest nap in years starting fro3 -
When it's 5AM, you had zero sleep and your deadline is in 3 hours: Oh loard my saviour php, please - PLEASE just let my peace of shit code work for once. *reloads page*
Error message appears. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCK!3 -
Client wants to deliver August 1st. Bust our butts to make the deadline. Changes the entire layout on July 29th and still expected 8/1 release. Blames us for missing the deadline.4
-
My boss (who knows nothing of programming) loves to assign deadlines that are nearly impossible to meet and then when I approach him with my realistic opinion on it's timespan replies "we will put our heads together and get it done in time, we'll just have to pull together as a team". What the hells this team? I'm the only developer in the office. Who is we?!?11
-
College projects, they teach you to write Hello world in different languages for 4 years and they want you to develop big sites like Facebook in a month.2
-
So guys, for those of you that know what a burn down chart is, this is my teams, aka Front-end ONLY for end of March.
8 -
Clients wants a complete reworked of their e-commerce website - sure will cost X amount.
It needs to be done before black Friday - nope6 -
Got a client who Always delays payment (~2weeks) and is rude and ignores me after I deliver. As a freelancer and Student I rely on the money and on my time. So I will deliver tomorrow the next project, guy promised he will pay on monday, but I count with weeks again. I have developed a locking mechanism so I can lock the whole Software from my Cloud in case he wont pay on time. What do you guys think?21
-
Suddenly there's this tight deadline, everyone's pumping hours in, I am the one that has to discuss with everyone and integrate their work into mine. So I schedule an early morning meeting with a colleague, whose work is crucial in order to continue integrating the others' modules.
30mins into the meeting, he's not there yet. I reach him
"Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention, I'm actually not available today, and until 3 days before the deadline"
Well isn't this great.7 -
When your team's hard work receive such a mail from the client and still your Project Manager treats you like shit :|
A little back story
Me (hybrid app guy), backend (php api) guy and ui guy (html-css) worked fuckin day and night, to chase the fuckin less than 10 days deadline for this App
We hard to create the App for all 4 platforms including win mobile and blackberry (god bless UI guy and me :|) ~ 2013
Those were the coolest days of our lives , we had a super blast - working (slogging) + drinking + just having fun cursing + not giving fuck to anything and anyone + more drinking..
Cool thing is, our client was in an impression that full backend and front end TEAM is working on this App 😀
This mail still makes us laugh
"professional team" 😁😂
Unfortunately I got paid only half of the salary for next month and left the company shortly
(because official company timing was from 10:00 AM or else half day paycut and I am a night guy, I used to come at around 12:00 noon)
3 -
The project I accepted for measuring heart sound is giving me a heart attack 😬
I have only 10 days left the deadline 😭6 -
The worst mistake I made was using json files as a simple database.
The project was to be delivered the day before it was even ordered, so I had to take shortcuts.
I totally underestimated the popularity of the project, so all that file reading and writing made the server slow and sluggish. It also being submitted on a shared host, made it even worse.
In the end the host shut it down. I don't recall, but I guess I had to add that database support after all, the project being that popular...4 -
Client asked for time line for website I told them 6 weeks from moment they provide design (I had other active projects and would have to split time between them ) . For next 4 weeks they would send me design and then after few hours tell me to stop working and that they are going to change design.
After 4 weeks they sent me final version of the design and informed me that it needs to be done in next 2 weeks. We expected 10 more websites from them and it was 7-8 pages so I put other projects on hold and finished it in around week and sent link to them for review, 2 days before deadline they informed me that there are around 20 pages missing pages that are not in final version of design but only in version xx sent more than 2 weeks ago. In next day and half me and 2 other developers had more then 20 hours each to finish it on time8 -
Tommorrow is the day! The day we realease on! And I still don't have a final frontend to integrate, build, test and prepare to deploy.
So tonight is the night! The night I will be doing webdesign and googling how to do it with my 'functionality beats design' and 'terminal is the best UI ever' attitude :-)2 -
Client :
When do you think we can get the website done with?
Me:
Don't worry, I'll get it done in 3 days.
Me after 2 and half days:
<!Doctype Html>
<html>
<head>
<title> Hello, what did you say the website does again? ....4 -
Dear fellow project member,
I agree that most code should explain itself, but if you need to use a certain method which requires you to pass several different values of the same type and you just pass values as you like and then get, as you like to call it, 'unexpected behavior', then that is YOUR F***ING PROBLEM.
I DO know your thoughts about documenting code and I DO know you think documenting code only delays the progress, but if you for once could please CHECK THE DOCUMENTATION I WROTE, there would be no need to message me EVERY FIVE BLOODY MINUTES to complain about something that actually works when used right, just because you are too lazy to read the docs!
If you would do that next time, at least the time i spend writing documentation for our project would not be COMPLETELY WASTED! 😤
Kind Regards2 -
Oh so your deadline is Wednesday and you will travel on Thursday? Let's have a full day meeting on Monday... WELL FUCK YOU TOO!!!
-
When your deadline is tomorrow and you still have lots of work to do and you decided to sleep late and stay in bed5
-
When you open tens of stack overflow tabs just to find out that you had misspelled something super simple!
-
Just because I have not written any code yet, does not mean I have not started on your project. I can either plan it well or let the code flow from my fingers like diarrhea.
-
"How many time do you need to close this task?"
"Mmh I guess 3 days and half"
"Ow..the delivery is this evening, is that a problem?"
Dude. Seriously, what the fuck!2 -
I'm crying-
And idk if I'm crying from it being so funny or so sad...
Forwarded to me by my boss, found somewhere on the internet, creds to who made it
2 -
WooHoo, lets miss this deadline, fuck yeah!!!
Has 20 tasks last week monday, had 50 Wednesday and 51 Friday, as of today we have finished 1.5 and deadline is in 6 day, and shit is STILL changing. Fuck YEAH!!! -
Working on Sunday because deadline is next week.
P.S. We got project yesterday.... Wish me luck.....2 -
Today at 'Derp & Co' a fellow co-worker decided that had duplicated data on Relational DB is good!
- Dev: 'but what if we have 2 companies in diferents groups?''
- co-worker: 'Just call it company A and Company B'
- Dev: 'but... this is not what...'
- co-worker: 'Trust me Dev, is the easy way'
I want the professional way, not the easy (and damn wrong) way :(, I can't improve myself like this.
Also, dead line is here too... TT^TT
Last sprint and still with doubts about the DB structure.12 -
For fucks sake...
If it is a new feature, out of scope for the next release ...
It is OUT OF SCOPE FOR THE NEXT RELEASE, MKAY?????3 -
Oh crap O_o;
I have a deadline in 4 weeks
Things that need to be done:
Responsive website frontend,
Working backend,
Good documentation,
User Dashboard on website
Things that I have skills and time for:
Backend with python and flask - Half Done!
Skills I do not have:
Frontend,
Making anything look good,
Documentation,
Responsive frontend
Also, I'm willingly doing this for no money.
Why do I keep putting myself in situations like this??????
And in some sick and twisted way, I'm also enjoying it in a way11 -
At one of my previous gigs, the IT director was just some guy that dated the bosses daughter. When she inherited the company he went from entry level data analyst to his new director position. IF he decided to show up to work at all it would be at just in time for lunch, and then he'd head out shortly after.
This guy would ask for an estimate on development and then start the timer when marketing started working on the project. This would often lead to us estimating something like 4 months on a project, and then waiting on marketing for 3 of those months, leaving us with 30 days left.1 -
And here's that app.css single file that my predecessor left for entire project. It's the second work he left a treat for me.
Kill me please.
Btw the code looks like it's been written by a second grade kid...
4 -
Soo, apparently I deleted out Git repo yesterday, when thinking I was working in another repo. Using all day to clean up. Guess I won't be getting any of that "sleep" thing tonight 😭😴6
-
I'm very tired of these impossible deadlines, it feels like as soon as one project finish, we have to rush to finish the other.
I should take some holidays.2 -
Been ready to start a new project for the last 6 weeks, and when I finally receive the last pieces of information that I need to start doing my work, I've grown so grumpy and sour that I don't want to do it anymore.
Oh. And the deadline will still be the same date as if they delivered 6 weeks earlier. F*ckers.4 -
WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE CLOSE TO DEADLINES???
My team exists of three developers and a product owner. By the end of the month we have to deliver two new applications. It has not been going as smoothly as we'd hoped so far. However, one of the developers has cut his time for this project from fulltime to 1-2 days a week starting this week. The other developer is also needed on another project and has to run to the rescue whenever there is a problem with the servers, so he doesn't really solve any bugs either. Also he'll be leaving straight after deadline so he has to document everything only he knows and he'll be on holiday next week. Also, the product owner leaves tomorrow and will be back after deadline.
So.. Here I am, junior developer, have been here for about three months and I have to fix everything and do the communication to our testers as well. I'm feeling too overwhelmed right now...5 -
- 5 days until customer integration test. I finished my work for the test a week ago so I am relaxed. 10 days of estimated work for other team, 1 dev scheduled for this task.
I reminded of the deadline, which seemed not realistic anymore; "Don't be so pessimistic" they said, "Everything is fine", "We'll get it done".
- 2 days to go and half of the system doesn't work, the external test system rejects all data (nobody had time to read the specs -> let's call it 'assumption based development' (ABD))
I reminded of the deadline, and that I would like to have an internal test with all components beforehand; "Don't be so pessimistic" they said, "Everything is fine", "Just some minor issues".
- 1 day to go and dev from other team called in sick... (and I can really empathize this decision); "Someone else can jump in and finish the work" they said.
- An hour later the test was cancelled not even 24 hours before it should take place. We could have rescheduled the test more than a week ago, that wouldn't have been so disgusting and even save our customer some hours of preparation effort.
I hate myself when I was right from the start but wouldn't enforce my position because I'm too kind sometimes. -
I love deadlines,
Actually I wait until the very last moment. Because I believe the older I get the smarter I will become
:-)6 -
Yea it’s totally cool. Dropping a conference call on me 30 minutes before it happens. And then you (and everyone else in the call) should be late too. And then do this stuff all the damn time and ask me why I have to push the deadline back. But get super pissy when I give you a realistic deadline that factors these bullshit experiences in!
Then after I wait 10 minutes on the line, tell me it’s been moved to the bottom of the hour which doesn’t really leave me enough time to do anything but play on DevRant. Fucking insanity.1 -
sales: we will need a sponsored blog for client XY, can you start working on it?
me: I am really busy I can't do it as soon as next wednesday.
sales: but I promised it will be ready for this tuesday (yes, two days ago)
me: do you have any specification?
sales: what is a specification?
---- Happy Birthday for me ----1 -
#include <stdio.h>
#include <string.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <time.h>
#include <sys/time.h>
void setDate(const char* dataStr) // format like MMDDYY
{
char buf[3] = {0};
strncpy(buf, dataStr + 0, 2);
unsigned short month = atoi(buf);
strncpy(buf, dataStr + 2, 2);
unsigned short day = atoi(buf);
strncpy(buf, dataStr + 4, 2);
unsigned short year = atoi(buf);
time_t mytime = time(0);
struct tm* tm_ptr = localtime(&mytime);
if (tm_ptr)
{
tm_ptr->tm_mon = month - 1;
tm_ptr->tm_mday = day;
tm_ptr->tm_year = year + (2000 - 1900);
const struct timeval tv = {mktime(tm_ptr), 0};
settimeofday(&tv, 0);
}
}
int main(int argc, char** argv)
{
if (argc < 1)
{
printf("enter a date using the format MMDDYY\n");
return 1;
}
setDate(argv[1]);
return 0;
}
7 -
I just got my first full time job as a junior front end developer just because they didn't have any other option (I was last on their list).
Should I be happy or sad about it?14 -
3rd week of my new job: I f**ed the computer. Deadline is coming and boss on vacations. Great. Just great3
-
Pm: Hey we need you to add this feature to client ABC and we need it in 3 weeks.
Me: Ok. Just so I know how long have you know about this?
Pm: Oo about 3 weeks ago.
Me(outside): Ok 😐😐😐
Me(inside): Really you could give me some information about this 3 weeks ago. Even 2 weeks ago would have been find. AHHHHHHHHHHH!😡😡😡😤.2 -
Today at 'Derp & Co' is the end of the last sprint, no one have close all the task asigned. Myself included.
- that sucks...
Because there are task from previos sprints still in TODO that block other tasks.
- oof
But there is more... Yesterday was the deadline of the project. From today and onwards the client get discount.
- oof (but fair to the client)
Management have in mind AT LEAST 4 more weeks of development.
- But... how... wtf?
In 2 weeks part of the hardware we need for the project will return to the client.
- <smash the door and leave>
Management still is asking if we can do it on time...
- yeah... just call the Doctor, we need a TARDIS ASAP2 -
Deadline approaching. Gotta stop reading in office and slog my ass off for next 6 days. Damn life's a bitch. I made that bitch, a bitch.
-
Instead of using MVC framework (like Angular), my predecessor preferred typing all the data the hard way.... The number of lines were like 2000 (in html...)
4 -
Ok. Sap is a cool rompany, right? Im at a coding camp at it. The final challenge will be presented to the parents and the saps ceo. BUT YO U ONLY GIVE ME FUCKING 5 HOURS TO CODE IT??? ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS? YOU EXPECT ME TO USE A RANDOM ALGO OR WHAT??? I WANTED TO IMPLEMENT A ROOMBA ALGO, BUT WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!5
-
Deadline for my paper is tomorrow. Still missing 1/3rd. Also haven't created the presentation for it yet.
#NotOnlyDiamondsAreCraftedUnderHugePressure4 -
When you have a Database Theory final exam in 2 hours and you're cramming a 1/4 of the module. #uni #student
-
YES!! 3 days till deadline and I am in a meeting discussing core descisions that have not been made yt...
-
3 months project:
- deadline changed to 2 months
- specs delayed by 1 month
Now a 1 month project...
Started one month earlier so I could achieve something...
Now, 23 days to deadline: here, take this 20 page PDF with 200 questions ( witch can be drastically reduced) to make the new form section (2nd section out of 6).
Me: OK, but it could be nice to have everything at once so I could design it accordingly , I can see questions here that are repetitive , it would spare me a lot of work if I could see the big picture.
she: Just put those (200 f#cking questions) on and show me so I can see if its good and deliver the rest based on it.
OK, fuck it I'm just let hibernate create all the fucking tables and I figured out where to get all the questions she wants anyway... there are 7 categories with repeated questions...(about 150)...
Just wonder what's so hard to do her job... she had 3 months to do it and I only have 1... -
Got thrown into a project that I know almost nothing about. The deadline is closing in and I think that I did only 50% of the work. I haven't been this stressed in a long time and I don't know how to cope with it. :(2
-
So ya its almost mid April, deadline is end of April and 20% of APIs are not yet ready and mobile app has barely 50% of pages done.
This is going to be a fun project to work on, I was asked to join the team couple of weeks ago
What is even more funny I still have no clue what this project does, I'm just creating UI based on what the designer (that started a month ago) delivered just a week ago -- Three weeks before final deadline -
COMMENTS BE LIKE...
Physics exam. Seems I was the special guy who did the task in a different (and almost correct way), so my teacher had to share some golden thoughts with me.
Passed anyway xD
7 -
Its funny cuz its true.
Original deadline 2 weeks ago
New Deadline 2 weeks form now
API been down for 2 days and counting
~3 months worth of work left to do, if we lucky, to meet requirements for deadline… -
Deadline in 24 work hours, for a in-house product to automate payment processing.
Why in 24 hours you say? , Me and the accounting guy is going on vacation on Friday.
Will it go into production on Friday evening while I'm going through the door?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
4 days left for project deadline and PM just realized that we are behind in the design. Meeting at 9AM, am sure that they will ask me to work really late to complete, I don't think it's possible.
Guys, should I let this project fail, just note that I didn't receive the designs?14 -
Question to all the Devs out there.....
What do you prefer???
A. Strict timing in the office (e.g. 9-6)
B. Deadline focused work any hours you want and beat the deadline.14 -
So me and colleague frontend developer we are working on project which needs to be finished in 3 weeks. It’s halfway done, and it would be finished easily if we continue working the same pace.
But colleague, today is his last day before he’s leaving on holiday for 3 weeks, and he leaves a lot of unfinished frontend stuff to me. I also have a lot of stuff left to do in backend. Our both bosses (whos are all management we got) are on holiday too. And I am also leaving on holiday in 2 weeks.
Now I got only 2 junior frontend developers left in office who are not familiar with this project. I would ask help from them, but I am afraid I will end up explaining stuff for them more than doing actual work.
Anyway, wish me luck, I hope I will manage to make it by the time I go on vacation.1 -
Twas the night before deadline,
And all through my house,
tons of bugs were scurrying from the
onClick event of the mouse.
Seriously though... Dreamweaver CC needs to revamp the way they implement bootstrap snippets. Specifically the navbar hover and click on <ul> dropdown menus.4 -
tl/dr;
The prodigal dev returns, and still the same as before
Not sure how I feel about this,
Some time ago I mentioned about a tech lead that created & enforced the use of somewhat useless lib, and then the guy left not long ago,
A bit of backstory,
The project itself is (supposedly) nearing the completion stage, which the "deadline" (if there's actually any) has been delayed multiple times,
First it was supposed to be done in x months, then extended for another n months, then another n months, then another x weeks, then another n weeks, then another x days, then another n days, and the last update for deadline is due by x weeks from now
Why is it like that? My guess is being too overoptimistic and underestimating everything, basically the shit that's been happening are all uncalculated risks and doing stuff outside the original plan, I'm not even sure if what they have can even be considered as a plan in the first place,
Ok so, back to the topic, nearing the end, the higher ups suddenly decided that the performance of the app is sluggish on older android phones when accessing a very long list (it's using react native), and it has to be fixed asap (just now they realised it? The project's been going for a year ffs)
And this guy, the tech lead mentioned above is brought back to the project with the hope to be able to resolve this issue
Tbh I'm not sure what is the root cause, I'm not following the issue much, but there was not much viable option, one of it was updating the library and introduce a new and (supposedly) more efficient component,
If we update the library too far, the other dependencies will fail, since some of them still depends on the older version of the lib, so first (and most viable) solution was to update the lib just enough for it to be able to use FlatList, which was supposed to be more efficient at rendering list than the deprecated ListView,
And then just today, a meeting was held, it was more like an announcement that the lead decided to create a new component, not sure how it's even gonna work, but it's supposed to imitate the functionality of ListView and do more efficient rendering, and the main component is just basic ScrollView with a lot of Views inside it,
After the meeting ends, and my team's representative told us the story above my first thought (and I believe it's same as everyone else's) was, "fucking brilliant, here we go again, another delay in the project",
Not sure why, but there's no one objecting his approach, the guy from my team wanted to object since the decision seems unwise, but there's no way to create a compelling argument to object it with after the lead said "let's say the component is there, does 5 days enough to change all the implementation?", everyone else just silently nods and agrees,
Another too fucking optimistic statement, "if the component is there", but it fucking isn't ffs,
After we heard the full story, everyone are suddenly feeling tired and went home for the day, -
When you and your team invested a lot of their weekend time into the project to meet the clients unrealistic deadline and get not even a simple "thank you" from management...3
-
That feeling when at the last minute, after an interview they decided to reject your application 😢4
-
Have any of you ever lost your job because you couldn't meet a deadline? ( The reason being because you didn't have enough experience to fix an issue so you could deliver on time) How did you bounce back?8
-
How many people do unit testing?. Am always caught my deadline. I just fix errors in production. The client timeline are not feasible3
-
Been struggling with an issue all weekend (it had to go to client today) with no solution and without understanding why it was returning the wrong values.
Arrive this morning to the office and team leader asks me about the issue and gives me a new one with higher priority, so I decide to pass my issue to a junior I work with.
While doing so and explaining everything he should look into, by some magic powers I found the reason for the issue
Thank the rubber ducking god!!! -
Restarting my laptop without installing any updates. softwares or changes and Windows 10 is saying "Getting Windows Ready". Ready for what? Fuck2
-
Today I read a great article on mutation tests, how to use and why they are important. It looks like a great thing, but...
I have never wrote any unit test in any of my jobs. Nobody in my workplace does that. And now it seems like 100% test coverage is not enough (I remind you, that I have 0%), they all should mutate to check if the quality of unit tests is high.
It seems that I'm left behind. I played with tests in my free time, but it seems the more you write them, the better you get at it, so I should be writing them in my job, where I code most of my time. Not only that, of course, I would also want to ensure that what I'm working on is bug-free.
Still, it will be impossible to introduce unit tests to my project, because they are novelty to the whole team and our deadlines are tight. The other thing is, we are supposed to write minimum viable product, as it is a demo for a client, and every line of code matters. Some might say that we are delusional that after we finish demo we will make things the right way.
Did any one of you have a situation like this? How did you change your boss and team's mind?8 -
Haven't even finished the wire frame prototypes and my client is asking if I can get the site complete mid-December because they want to advertise via radio.
Maybe if you stopped changing your mind about the layout and features then I could get this done a little faster. Glad I'm charging per hour!
On the plus side, at least they asked this time - last time they had purchased a load of radio time and then gave me a deadline. -
Sorry for not being active these last couple of weeks... That behavior data app was quite a lot of work in a very tight deadline (two weeks) at one moment my setup was getting out of hand (posted in comments)
But that's finally done, onwards to the next overly tight scheduled deadline!... Yaaaay... ☹️1 -
During my first hackathon I teamed up with some strangers. We decided to create some games by expanding reality with virtual element (sounds mysteriously and maybe even ominously, but it's not). So here we go - one of them started building android app, the second guy started building window app in C++ and the last one of them decided to create something in JavaScript. It was fun, but I wasn't prepared and so much educated, so after some trials that ended poorly, the only thing I did was the wooden construction that was supposed to hold our tablet up so it could shoot photos recursively. I almost died of boredom for the remaining time.
-
1am and I'm waiting for my zipped project to finish uploading to OneDrive, so I can send my prof a link to it, because our fucking intranet just gloriously shat itself again -_-... Because a GitHub link is too mainstream I guess?
Ah yeah, deadline was 1h ago, but who cares about deadlines right?... -
Finished our first phase of the project about a month earlier. We entered the second phase and the project manager is shouting to do it as quickly as possible.
Sometimes I think I should have watched TV series in the meantime rather than finishing the task early. -
It's been a little bit over two weeks since I quit my first job, thought I would share some stories 😁
I started my very first job in the middle of August (last year) and my duties were to fix some issues on front-end files. You can see my previous rants to see how long were these files 😐
So after 2/3 months I managed to get my shit done, started learning Vue on my own to implement it to new projects (and done it successfully) and learn something about shitty clients who don't know how to live and don't know what do they want.
When I quit the job on the last day of April, I was so happy to end it mostly due to this one specific client who were able to turn happy innocent coding of a great project into hellish shit. Plus there were some issues I noticed with some people I worked with (like they were sending these sexist memes which weren't funny at all 🙄)
TL;DR if you feel that your job post is not for you or that is doesn't make you feel happy or comfortable, don't be afraid to walk away. I did and I don't regret it 😉 -
Devs: We've spent some time estimating the stories, and found that we will finish a month too late. Which stories should be removed?
PM: None
Devs: Which are less important?
PM: All are vital. (read: Work harder)1 -
That moment when: You're asked to quickly code a fake login screen and you have a deadline to add it to 10 devices before 2pm.
First build: Forgot to force it to be on top, forgot to add closing preventions
Second build: Due to it going on tablets, it needed an onscreen keyboard, but being on top all the time means the builtin onscreen keyboard doesn't work.
Third build: Forgot to add try and catch exceptions which caused crashes
Final build: Avast kept closing and opening it due to DeepScan
urgh... -
Tfw you accepted a project you thought you "can" work on, but over time it turns out that you won't be able to finish the project on time.
:')7 -
Went on a Hackathon with two friends. They didn't do shit. This week, they told me that they only knew c#, so we should switch to that. (I use Linux so I shouldn't have accepted that) Just learned that they are going to a maths camp this week and the deadline is next Sunday. Dotnet core CANNOT PARSE FUCKING JSON. I'll rewrite it in node.js, and hope that I can type fast enough to finish in time. Fuck me, fuck my lazy friends and especially fuck Microsoft for saying that they support Linux while providing a dotnet for Linux published in 200-fucking-56
-
I'm so excited before tomorrow, I'm a little bit afraid.
Just had my very first deadline in my life (started my apprenticeship a few months ago). I can lead and develop a complex and very large project, which is nice but it's very hard.
Tomorrow I've to present it to the client and has to convience him.
Wish me luck! Any tips or advices dir the presentation?2 -
That moment when you spend your whole night building something to look like a website skeleton in CSS bootstrap so that your colleague who supervises it tells you that it needs to be revamped...1
-
When the project manager complained about how you are late for the deadline, but the keep on adding on new requirements unrelated to the initial goal. OTL
-
Project Manager: "You have until x date, but how far off are you from finishing"
Me: "How long is it until x date, there is your answer"
-
Fun things ... Deadlines be pressing ... And here is this invitation to create a team mascot 🧐 like really? What do you want?6
-
Receiving a task from PM to be fulfilled two weeks before the deadline ends.
Days until deadlines end: 4 - thanks for stealing my holiday -
!rant
Just wanted to get back to my last rant on here: https://devrant.com/rants/1617720/...
So, even though the team still is slimming down we actually did manage to get the two applications live by the deadline. It took my saturday and a lot of hard work, but we managed to pull it off somehow. I'm so happy :)1 -
Today i received a hard drive contraining one million malicious non-PE files for a ML baed project.
It's going to be a fun week.14 -
Getting predictable... Deadline day and developer takes day off sick. Or day before deadline developer takes day off sick. Leaving it all to everyone else to clean up their mess... Same people every time...1
-
anyone else having a project and getting behind schedule and working overtime and still not getting it done?
no? it's okay, i know it's only me so dumb :(7 -
For Hindi readers only!
Just wrote a poem which perfectly describe the conversation of two developers working on a project which has to be completed in very less time without compromising any feature.
4 -
All of my programming knowledge (more like 95% of it) have been gathered by myself. I've started learning during secondary school - the basics everyone has to go through. But it was so awesome that I wanted more. So I've started digging through vast space of internets and books only to find that I know very little. I've had help in the university and high school (the other 5%), but it wasn't enough.
The best thing is - the feeling has never worn off. And I still want more, because it feels like learning magic - the only difference is magic doesn't exist 😃 -
deadline /ˈdedˌlīn/
noun
1. the latest time or date by which something should be completed
• the deadline for submissions is February 5th.
2. ‹historical› a line drawn around a prison beyond which prisoners were liable to be shot. -
I'm sitting here in the dark and can't program because no electricians are available... Right before a deadline...
I worked on refactoring my code for our University lab's project (I am the programmer assigned to it) for almost a week and managed to refactor most of my old and unorganized code. Today I finally had the chance to finish the job.
While everything was open I decided to charge my laptop (I work on a desktop) and the moment I plugged it in the room turned dark. I realized I just have to turn the fuse back on but of course all the fuses are on already. Appearantly that short-circuit fried my home's electrical framework somehow and because it's a weekend I can't get in touch with any electricians.
All my code was committed but not pushed so now I am stuck here before a deadline with no way to work...
tl;dr Because of a short-circuit I don't have any electricity and all my work is unpushed.3 -
Inhuman deadlines imposed by non-programmers... don't know what feels worst: the shame of my own present code, or the fear of my own future bugs.
-
Not being able to do refactoring on an app that contains 900+ line view controllers because "its not safe to do refactoring before the demo at the end of the month"
F.M.L -
Not feeling well (plus cold office) but still extending time after work hours (OTY) because of a big task with a quick deadline (already have a short deadline set before the task was given to me)
Oh well. Grind, hustle and push!
Listening to this while working 👊 :
https://listenonrepeat.com//...!
https://listenonrepeat.com//..._1 -
When you have no time to learn by code snippet, you'd have to copy and paste it rather than writing it line by line.
-
So work today was a pain in the behind as usual ( although the comfy chair made up for it eventually)....My Boss walked in every twenty minutes to ask me the same annoying question." Are you done with the app?", He said....even after showing him over 6045 lines of code on a single config file
Why are bosses so mean?😥3 -
I'm learning new technologies! Last time I finished Android course, now I'm going to learn a bit more about MEAN 😄 it's so exciting finding new perspectives of programming 😊4
-
Not really the worst but it happened last week. Our lead Dev reviewed a pull request based on works that have been validated several times.
Suddenly, 5 minutes before leaving to take a plane for the week, he tells me that everything is to be refactored because it has no semantical sense, even if it worked perfectly and could be refactored later.
He told me that the day before the delivery and rewriting and restesting everything that had been done took 2 days, several out of worktime hours and huge stress phases. The delivery had to be delayed twice.
I'm easily stressed and a lot of things went by with bad timing (one other coder who could help me was not present, another had to leave early for his kids etc...)
That refactoring was unnecessary but it gave a bad impression to our client and made feel bad fr something I wasn't responsible for.2 -
Procrastinating as I had to deliver a full working Android app and it'd Backend to feed data to it. I had 6 months. I pulled 2 all nighters and finished the entire project in just one week. I and I totally ducked it up. No backend optimization means with 100 users online the server will go stupid and don't know how to handle the pressure. The Android app just doesn't work on some devices due to a poor error handling. So yeah, I totally love to procrastinate, but I'll just leave that for later.
-
Recently I had the "pleasure" to participate in a recruitment process for a web developer internship position.
First of all, a nice lady calls me to confirm everything and sets up a meeting. She mentions about a qualification test and gives me several technologies like python, c#. I was confused but we explained everything and she knew I was not interested in these technologies since I didn't apply for python or c# dev.
Later on I go to their company building to take the test. I get the test, I overview all tasks - 80% of the test was composed of OOP and C#. OOP - this I can understand but fucking C#? Seriously wtf? I wrote the test the way I was able to do it and at the end the guy says it was deliberate to put other technologies so that he could check how would we find ourselves in a situation like this.
Honestly, I felt like the whole process was a big joke for them. I wasted time going there just to see that I'm taking the test that includes the things posted in the job offer only in 20%.
Fuck them. -
When you’re working under high pressure, a coworker writes you that you have a bug in the new feature which is blocking him and you start swearing about what an idiot you are...
And you then realize that this is the team chat with SM, PO etc., and not the private chat.. -
I love maths so much, but I am at the verge of suicide due to differential equations right now...
Wish I could code something 😟2 -
@dfox @trogus do you have any plans for adding chat with other plp around here or link to external portal profiles? I'd like to send a private message to one of them but I can't 😐
Btw I know it's hard to maintain something like that in a database since it takes much space but I wanted to ask anyway 😉15 -
It's a beautiful day today ! :) For this reason, I feel in the mood to make a playlist called D E A D L I N E ! :) (hue hue hue)
-
Each day waiting for others to deliever means one day less for me to do my work. Deadline still stands. Sigh.
-
Shit. Today I had to code some required Migration Script for a Client. Deadline tomorrow.
It's nearly finished. But the Last thing isn't working correct.
I'll try to find the bug when I am at Home.
Yeah. I hope I Can find it.
But.. but. The FUCKING TRAIN WAS CANCELLED. SHIT! I have to find the bug you piece of Shit!2 -
I think that one day I'm going to regret leaving the uni's programming assignments till the last few days before the deadline.
On the other hand, the professor told us that using // in C for comments is bad practice, so I don't really care...1 -
So I have been working somewhere around 35 hours straight, with 3 hours of sleep in between and 'breaks', because tomorrow is the deadline for my university project and every freaking time I fix a bug I make another. Most of the time it's something I just fixed...
I'm currently telling myself not to give up. *bangs head on keyboard*2 -
The sound of kids arguing when you told your client you need one more day to finish up. Tomorrow you'll repeat your self.
-
was submitting college assignment minutes before the deadline, opened laptop and boom!
"Your PC will restart several times during windows update 37% complete"
guess what Windows is not the answer, it is the question "NO" is the answer. -
Everyday life: Colleague offers me a stress ball after hearing about deadline shifted forward (again).
We are ending up playing basketball in office with the whole team... -
Our team haven't completed any project in afternoon time and before deadline. inspite of our effort we have completed every project night before deadline or hours before deadline. Have you got these experience ?1
-
I hate it when chasing deadline week is over, I slept so little and I can't sleep even though I am tired af
-
18 hours until deadline for an assignment and I haven't even started testing.
I should really stop procrastinating
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