Well guess what, I was coding with a friend of mine in a café .The waiter took our orders ..glanced at our screens( We were using Linux terminals ..fucking npm I swear) and then a few minutes later the manager comes up and says - ”Sorry ,but I am gonna have to ask you guys to leave " ..We were like wtf man ? Well apparently the staff felt that we were hacking using their WiFi .. God fucking dammit..typing on terminals is not Hacking .

So i've been a dev manager for a little while now. Thought i'd take some time to disambiguate some job titles to let everyone know what they might be in for when joining / moving around a big org.

Title: Senior Software Engineer

Background:
- Technical
- Clever
- Typically has years experience building what management are trying to build

Responsibilities:
- Building new features
- Writing code
- Code review
- Offering advice to product manag......OH NO YOU DON'T CODE MONKEY, BACK TO WORK!

Title: Dev Manager

Background:
- Technical
- Former/current programmer
- knows his/her way around a codebase.

Responsibilities:
- Recruiting / interviewing new staff
- Keeping the team focused and delivering tasks
- Architecture decisions
- Lying about complexity of architecture decisions to ensure team gets the actual time they need
- Lying about feature estimations to ensure team gets to work on critical technical improvements that were cancelled / de-prioritised
- Explaining to hire-ups why we can't "Just do it quicker"
- Explaining to senior engineers why the product manager declined their meeting request

Title: Product / Product Manager

Background:
- Nothing relevant to the industry or product line what so ever
- Found the correct building on the day of the interview
- Has once opened an Excel spreadsheet and successfully saved it to a desktop

Responsibilities:
- Making every key decision about every feature available in the app
- Learning to ignore that inner voice we like to call "Common sense"
- Making sure to not accidentally take some advice from technical staff
- Raising the blood pressure of everyone below them / working with them

Title: Program Lead / Product Owner

Background:
- Capable of speech
- Aware of what a computer is (optional)

Responsibilities:
- Sitting down
- Talking
- Clicking random buttons on Jira
- Making bullet point lists

Title: Director of Software Engineering

Background:
- Allegedly attended college/university to study computer science
- Similar to a technical product manager (technical optional)

Responsibilities:
- Reports directly to VP
- Fixes problems by creating a different problem somewhere else as a distraction
- Claiming to understand and green light technical decisions, while having already agreed with product that it will never happen

//Long rant

[Boss man]: Hey, we need you to build us a web app.

[Me]: Okay, what do you need it to do?

[Boss man]: We need staff to be able to login from anywhere, create new appointments, check room availability, display live times for the rooms, schedule future appointments, record all the data as stats and export the stats to (email address).

[Me]: Okay, sounds useful, anything else?

[Boss man]: we also need it to send all relevant data to a calendar where certain staff will be notified by email of events.

[Me]: Okay... I'll get right on starting this.

[Boss man]: So you can have it done by the end of the day? (4 hours from this time)

[Me]: *Internal screaming* *WHAT THE FUCK* Uhm, no, I don't think that is possible to complete in a four hour period by myself.

[Boss man]: Okay, well by tomorrow then, I'm leaving for the day though, have a good one.

[Me]....

//End long rant

So today I got fired.

Why?

The Ceo forgot they asked me to take care of some business while he was gone. They went on a trip to get thier butt inflated (quite litterally kim kardashian status) for two months.

Me, A general employee, not a captain, or a division manager.

Turns out I ran the company a lot more efficiently than they did, reducing our man power from 5 staff per task down to one per task.

Not only that increased client retention 78℅

Was let go for overstepping my company roles.

I think they we're just a bit jealous, or ego was too large.

Luckily, one of the division managers took me under one of their teams and is secretly keeping me on until I bust out of this joint.

I greeted my staff this morning with the phrase

"Morning, mind if I ruin your Friday?"

They laughed, but won't be soon enough. The task we've been working on for weeks, ripping apart the codebase changing it to work a different way, fixing a tonne of bugs, making it faster and simpler to add features too. Well business has decided they want us to stop, undo it, spend a month on something "with higher ROI" and then finish it off after that.

Business are expecting this to have no impact on any of the timelines and just to be like flipping a switch. Now obviously I won't let that happen and fight back for more time, but yet another session of compromises, arguments, and yelling. YIPEEE!!!!!!

Yesterday all the staff were give a piece of paper with a question.

Question:
What will make you happy at work?

and our answer should be confidential.

My answer was: A Girlfriend

I' ll be going to the HR Office about this. I was just being honest.

I'm drunk and I'll probably regret this, but here's a drunken rank of things I've learned as an engineer for the past 10 years.

The best way I've advanced my career is by changing companies.

Technology stacks don't really matter because there are like 15 basic patterns of software engineering in my field that apply. I work in data so it's not going to be the same as webdev or embedded. But all fields have about 10-20 core principles and the tech stack is just trying to make those things easier, so don't fret overit.

There's a reason why people recommend job hunting. If I'm unsatisfied at a job, it's probably time to move on.

I've made some good, lifelong friends at companies I've worked with. I don't need to make that a requirement of every place I work. I've been perfectly happy working at places where I didn't form friendships with my coworkers and I've been unhappy at places where I made some great friends.

I've learned to be honest with my manager. Not too honest, but honest enough where I can be authentic at work. What's the worse that can happen? He fire me? I'll just pick up a new job in 2 weeks.

If I'm awaken at 2am from being on-call for more than once per quarter, then something is seriously wrong and I will either fix it or quit.

pour another glass

Qualities of a good manager share a lot of qualities of a good engineer.

When I first started, I was enamored with technology and programming and computer science. I'm over it.

Good code is code that can be understood by a junior engineer. Great code can be understood by a first year CS freshman. The best code is no code at all.

The most underrated skill to learn as an engineer is how to document. Fuck, someone please teach me how to write good documentation. Seriously, if there's any recommendations, I'd seriously pay for a course (like probably a lot of money, maybe 1k for a course if it guaranteed that I could write good docs.)

Related to above, writing good proposals for changes is a great skill.

Almost every holy war out there (vim vs emacs, mac vs linux, whatever) doesn't matter... except one. See below.

The older I get, the more I appreciate dynamic languages. Fuck, I said it. Fight me.

If I ever find myself thinking I'm the smartest person in the room, it's time to leave.

I don't know why full stack webdevs are paid so poorly. No really, they should be paid like half a mil a year just base salary. Fuck they have to understand both front end AND back end AND how different browsers work AND networking AND databases AND caching AND differences between web and mobile AND omg what the fuck there's another framework out there that companies want to use? Seriously, why are webdevs paid so little.

We should hire more interns, they're awesome. Those energetic little fucks with their ideas. Even better when they can question or criticize something. I love interns.

sip

Don't meet your heroes. I paid 5k to take a course by one of my heroes. He's a brilliant man, but at the end of it I realized that he's making it up as he goes along like the rest of us.

Tech stack matters. OK I just said tech stack doesn't matter, but hear me out. If you hear Python dev vs C++ dev, you think very different things, right? That's because certain tools are really good at certain jobs. If you're not sure what you want to do, just do Java. It's a shitty programming language that's good at almost everything.

The greatest programming language ever is lisp. I should learn lisp.

For beginners, the most lucrative programming language to learn is SQL. Fuck all other languages. If you know SQL and nothing else, you can make bank. Payroll specialtist? Maybe 50k. Payroll specialist who knows SQL? 90k. Average joe with organizational skills at big corp? $40k. Average joe with organization skills AND sql? Call yourself a PM and earn $150k.

Tests are important but TDD is a damn cult.

Cushy government jobs are not what they are cracked up to be, at least for early to mid-career engineers. Sure, $120k + bennies + pension sound great, but you'll be selling your soul to work on esoteric proprietary technology. Much respect to government workers but seriously there's a reason why the median age for engineers at those places is 50+. Advice does not apply to government contractors.

Third party recruiters are leeches. However, if you find a good one, seriously develop a good relationship with them. They can help bootstrap your career. How do you know if you have a good one? If they've been a third party recruiter for more than 3 years, they're probably bad. The good ones typically become recruiters are large companies.

Options are worthless or can make you a millionaire. They're probably worthless unless the headcount of engineering is more than 100. Then maybe they are worth something within this decade.

Work from home is the tits. But lack of whiteboarding sucks.

I had an interview yesterday with the CEO of a startup going into Series A for the position of Principal Developer, remote. I've only ever heard of 'tech-bros', but I was unfortunate to meet one in-person. It went something like this:

CEO-bro: Good morning.
Me: Morning.
CEO-bro: It says here on your resume you live in X. That place is a shithole, and I have to look down on you because of that, bro. LoL.
Me: ......
(40 minutes of self-promotion pass)
CEO-bro: Anyway, we don't pay high salaries but offer bonuses for high performing staff instead. I'll ask HR to send you an offer.
Me: Let me think about it.
CEO-bro: One question bro. You have siblings?
Me: One.
CEO-bro: Parents still alive?
Me: No...what?!
CEO-bro: Yeah, me too. People like us don't let anything get in the way.

I wrote them an email this morning withdrawing my application 🤦🏽‍♂️

Customer is always right.....

Committed to sustainable productivity..

Misunderstanding between the IT Department Staff member and the Finance Department Staff member in one of the establishments...

User: Hi, our printer is not working.

IT Service: What is wrong with it?

User: The mouse is jammed.

IT Service: Mouse? Are you sure it’s a printer, as they don’t come with a mouse?

User: Do you think I’m stupid? I’m telling you it’s the printer!

IT Service: I'm telling you, it can’t be the printer! They don’t have a mouse!

User: Oh really?... Mmmmm... I’ll send you a picture.

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The customer is always right.
Listen to him/her and believe what he/she says.

Don’t jump into conclusions!

Worst legacy experience...

Called in by a client who had had a pen test on their website and it showed up many, many security holes. I was tasked with coming in and implementing the required fixes.

Site turned out to be Classic ASP built on an MS Access database. Due to the nature of the client, everything had to be done on their premises (kind of ironic but there you go). So I'm on-site trying to get access to code and server. My contact was *never* at her desk to approve anything. IT staff "worked" 11am to 3pm on a long day. The code itself was shite beyond belief.

The site was full of forms with no input validation, origin validation and no SQL injection checks. Sensitive data stored in plain text in cookies. Technical errors displayed on certain pages revealing site structure and even DB table names. Server configured to allow directory listing in file stores so that the public could see/access whatever they liked without any permission or authentication checks. I swear this was written by the child of some staff member. No company would have had the balls to charge for this.

Took me about 8 weeks to make and deploy the changes to client's satisfaction. Could have done it in 2 with some support from the actual people I was suppose to be helping!! But it was their money (well, my money as they were government funded!).

We called it "Project Hindenburg".

A huge planning and logistics app with hundreds of screens and dozens of interwoven subfunctions, suddenly needed to be able to support multiple time zones. Our project was to retrofit every area that touched on dates or times, to allow the user to specify, and work in, any time zone.

At this point in the story I can tell whether you have had to work with time zones in code. People who haven't are butting in with something that begins, "that should be fairly simple, you just need to..." followed by some irrelevant noise that betrays their ignorance.

People who have worked with time zones are nodding in shared pain, like fellow attendees of a survivors meeting.

You see, programmers tend to think of time zones as arithmetic; in reality, they are confusing, ambiguous, chaotic, and individual. You can't translate everything into a central time zone (eg UTC) because you lose the user's intent. For example, if you schedule a meeting for 3pm and then move it to the next day, you want it at 3pm even if the clocks have changed.

Project Hindenburg ended up using the entire development staff of the company for well over a year. It smashed our release projections to rubble, made an already tangled code base completely unmaintainable, introduced mind-bending edge case bugs that reduced staff across the company to tears (literally), and led to most of the mid-level and senior developers eventually quitting (including me).

I am @fuckfuckityfuck, and that was the story of Project Hindenburg.

Minimum wage employers and restaurants asking "and why should we hire you?".

You have 40 vacancies in your area for just your company alone.
You're paying $13.25 an hour when only a year ago you were paying $9.75.

Why should we hire you?

F*ck you, pay me, that's why.

You're not f*cking NASA
You're a God damn chain restaurant with a 40% turnover rate, who's employees probably shoot up in the bathroom on the rare occasion they even get a break.

I looked at the guy with all the annoyance I could muster, stared him down for a good five seconds and said. "You pay a few dollars over minimum. You're job is not important enough to even ask that question. Have a nice day." And got up and left.

Dude followed me and stuttered " hold up. I was just..."

But I was already out the door.

You were just what mark? Asking a dumbfuck question as if you had any leverage at all?

Your competitor *across the street* is offering 50 cents *more* per hour, and has guaranteed breaks.

What, did you forget 2008 and how you treated millions of people as disposable? The little part where you and most american industries demanded passion, without pay raises? Promotions without benefits? The jobs that if you worked hard, rather than a promotion or a pay raise, your reward was more work and less hours to finish?

You assholes thought we forgot about that? How you shipped millions of jobs overseas, blamed it on "automation" (chinese and indian slave labor), and then pointed the finger at millions of impoverished people as "lazy" in places like Detroit and Pittsburgh and told them "you just got to work harder and smarter!" Or "just get a small loan and create the next google!" from the comfort of your yachts? I'm looking at you bane corp.

No, now the shoes on the other foot motherf*ckers. Hows it feel needing all *us* commoners? "Why should we hire you?"

No, why should *I* WORK FOR YOU?
Cuz I saw THREE dirty tables coming in. A line of people that could be being served. A line that could have been optimized with the proper table count and some simple changes. A menu that doesnt even incentivize your biggest sellers and a dozen other things your store is doing wrong.

Think mark, think!

This is one of those braindead questions employers paying sub $18 an hour ask, because they suffered so much brain drain from years of payola profits from too-big-to-fail wallstreet bailouts, that they forgot they are not king midas, unless they are the king midas of shit, because increasingly everything corporate America touches turns into shit.

And while were on the subject, stopping bringing in outside management to stores. It destroys team cohesion, staff morale, pisses off people *on site* who *actually know* the team, the stores daily activities and processes, and who are better fit for that role. You bring in disinterested outside management, and it's one of the biggest red flags I've ever seen: these smarmy selfcongratulating f*cks who know nothing about the particular store, have no connection to the staff, go on firing sprees or alienation-sprees to hire in friends, fuck up the schedules because again they know nothing about the employees, and then move on after a few years to greener pastures, leaving a barren radioactive wasteland of chain smokers and burnt out staff in their wake.

Dear corporate America, your free ride on the public's good will is over. It's over.

Now you're in the bitch seat. Come sit at my desk and explain to me, EXPLAIN TO ME, why I should sweat and labor to save your shitty company hemorrhaging money like a bleeding crack-addicted hobo dying with a sucking chest wound from a chicago skidrow friday-night drive-by?

You dont deserve it. Your management and company culture is worse than incompetent. It's full of smiley guys expounding about their passion for customer service while giving each other sloppy BJs in broom closets, a veritable cornucopia of cult-like corporate dick suckers *and* dickheads, proclaiming, no...PROFESSING (hence "professional") their undying allegiance and dedication to their corporate family with the intensity of cujo, foaming at the mouth, or Mitt Romney preparing for a photoshoot, plastic smiles and feigned laughs.

Dont forget to wipe your chin, asshole. It's not Ronald McDonald your blowing, but it's definitely not Gordon f*cking Ramsey either.

Would you like fries with that?

Hotel offers no breakfast, towels are not exchanged unless you request every day, staff does not speak English, cleanness is clearly very broad definition...

WiFi is excellent.

5/5 would recommend.

The trend of referring to staff you just laid off as “alumni” is fucking stupid.

So is emailing and asking said recently laid off staff to join an “alumni committee” that involves, among other things: going to off sites and community events that the company will almost CERTAINLY be using for recruiting photos and “Best place to work” blog posts.

Just send me my final pay and fuck off already.

Scariest Web Page i Made:

So i was outside the hotel where my friend works, as he went away to submit work related papers and i sat in the car.

The car was parked in the middle of two others. To pass time i started working on my Web Page..
To me it was just a simple html,css,js source code..(wasn't even client side)...

To the other non-programmer hotel staff (Prying) eyes it was:

A shady guy, dressed in black in a car parked outside the server room. To top that off i had Dark theme on my editor.

So now two staff members are staring at me from outside the car...

I was well aware of what message this whole setup might be sending.

So i got a little anxious and did one thing that i should not have done i.e started looking at them with coy eyes as i typed.

Next minute i was being asked to step outside the car.
I was scared,not by the situation ... i was scared of their ignorance and how would i explain what those many colored lines on a black screen meant.

However it was solved..... but i knew this was the scariest page i ever made.

During an interview today for angular:

In the last section of interview female staff:
She : Do you have a girlfriend?
Me : Nop
She : Why do not you have a girlfriend? Guys at your age has girlfriends.

Me : ( Died inside )

Boost me up.. #cod4 , #Root . Whoever over there.. Boost my confidence

Engineer: hi whats this meeting for

Employer: unfortunately today we're cutting staff and you've been affected-

Engineer: 🤣😂🤣😂🤣-

Employer: why are you laughing?!

Engineer: no no- sorry it's just-

Employer: it's not funny-

Engineer: you're broke 🤣😂🤣

Employer: what?!

Engineer: that's like so embarrassing for you-

Employer: that's offensive. That's rude

Engineer: no i mean- you should have told- i didn't know you guys were this poor

Employer: we're not poor the market shift is-

Engineer: is really cringe. I mean can we just start a gofundme campaign or something-

Employer: that won't be necessary

Engineer: this just isn't a good look for you- it's giving 😂- it's giving poverty vibes honestly🤣🤣

Employer: that is very offensive-

Engineer: I'm really embarrassed for you. I was doing three people's jobs anyway bye

A colleague and I spent a month building a Shopify app that allows merchants to give customers store credit.

Since Shopify's API is so limited, we were forced to augment it's functionality with a Chrome extension.

Now before you go throwing full wine bottles at your screen because of how wrong and disgusting that is, note that Shopify's official documentation recommends 5 different extensions to augment functionality in their admin panel, so as gross as it is, it seems to be the Shopify way...

Today we got a reply from their review team. They won't accept the app because it requires a Chrome extension to work properly and that is a security risk.

Are you fucking kidding me? So I guess Shopify is exempt from their own security standards. Good to know.

Not to mention the plethora of published apps that require a staff account's username and password to be provided in plain text upon setup so it can spoof a login and subsequent requests to undocumented endpoints.

Fuck you and your "security standard" Shopify!

Paypal Rant #2

Paypal might just be the only company with 98% of their employees being support staff because not a soul on this planet knows how to work with that fucking piece of shit of a company's service.

No really, if there was a shittiness-rating from 1-10 (10 = worst) you would have to store paypal's rating as a string or invent a new data type because no CPU could fucking work with such a big ass fucking number.

If I had to choose between Paypal and going back to manually trading physical goods/animals for stuff I would gladly choose the latter, because Paypal, go suck a bag of dicks you useless fucking shitpile of a "company".

23:04 Client: We need these changes pushed to production before morning.
06:22 Staff: Changes pushed to prod.

<Tells story to manager>
Manager: Sum up the time you've worked on it and double it.

This isn't a special thing, we however have a policy stated in our contracts that all changes must be scheduled with a minimum of 24h before the time they're needed.

Worst interview is the one that actually got me where I am today.

Its been 15 years ago, but I remember very well. Since it was a startup back then they didn't really have any job titles yet or what so ever. I applied for the role of network engineer, heck I didn't care I needed a paycheck.

5 minutes into the interview the smalltalk left the room and they started asking me questions, mainly about me as a person. Eventually it was my turn. After my first question I facepalmed so hard.. Do you guys have any SLA or documentation around here? Heard of ITIL? How is your load balancing?

They stared at me as if I was some kind of alien that had just invaded their little safe planet.. it was hilarious.

An hour later they called me to come back in and sign a contract.. from there on I kind of multi tasked my way around the first year.. bit of network support & design, customer support, sending and packaging orders after 5PM.. god we had long but awesome days.. hence, we were just the 5 of us. Nowadays we've got 150 developers out of 1019 total staff currently.. We also improved interview questions and processes ;)

We’re recruiting new team members, and so our recruiting staff wanted some input on what to look for. We told them that we need more frontend devs, mainly for JS frameworks like React and Aurelia.

And now a few weeks later we find out that our newly recruited Java developer is starting this monday. Thanks

I'm in grade 9.
I started a programming club in my school.
I told them that I'd teach basic HTML,JS,CSS,C++,C,Java.
Nobody signed up.
Because it happens on Thursdays.
FML.
However, people told other people that I have wicked programming skills and so one of the school staff asked me to help them maintain their school website, which is currently just Google Sites (*vomit).
:(

My dad had been telling me about his friend's amazing son who was working in the IT dept. of some hospital and was raking in a lot, was super smart and 'worked in a hi-fi environment'. Kept telling me to go meet him to get some work online if possible.

Now, I know my dad is easily influenced and impressed especially because of his non-tech background. And today, after a month of him reprimanding that I'm not listening to him and letting go of a big opportunity, he finally pulled me by my collar and brought me to visit the guy in his office...

And turns out the staff has never even heard the guy's name! And their IT dept. can fit no more than 3 people, is filled with papers, monitors from the 90s and chairs that would cause permanent back aches.

He looks so dejected and the guy isn't picking up his phone either but I had an inkling how this meeting would turn out. :/

When one of your staff members asks "what's a file path?" It's times like these that I am ever so grateful that @dfox hooked me up with a squishy ball.

I put this chart on my desk since my boss thinks every little thing requires my immediate and undivided attention. It comprises of a few of his favourite words in a vague order. Watching him try to choose the most potent word to describe the most recent whim of general staff is worth a few chuckles.

last time I went into a "computer shop" one of the staff members was trying to sell this poor little old bloke a mid spec macbook pro just to Skype and email his son/grandkids who live in Australia, when he asked if there was a cheaper option as he didn't have much money they very rudely told him no and that they where the "experts", best bit is when I tried to point out how wrong this was and that he could do that on a cheap tablet (let alone a macbook) to a manager he tried to convince me that he needed the macbook.

are these people just stupid or really that shallow as to try and convince an elderly man to spend such an outrageous amount of money.

Sometimes I think back to all the funny shit that happened and how simple stuff fucks everyone

- tired Database engineer deleting (not dropping, literally rm -rf) the database files on the wrong server

- Microsoft delivering viruses through updates

- Pissed and stubborn dev deleting his one line library repo which does something like removing a char left side of string fucking an unmeasurable amount of other projects

- Adobe getting hacked and exposed for storing passwords in plain texts

- a doubled line causing a bug called heartbleed in a fuckton of webservers

- a Tutorial Company getting kicked from github because their repo got so big github staff had to maintain the repo manually

- and an old one: bad code crashed a space shuttle

The support staff at the Apple stores are called "geniuses". If being able to factory reset an iPhone is called being a genius then call me Einstein for being able to write code.

Gear up! It's a long story.

The last job aka my current job, which I totally love(see my about-me) was a full time offer after I intern-ed for 6months at the company I'm currently working for.

It was through campus recruitment.
So, there was this particular company that I had had an eye on all through my engineering years. I had been training severely, talking to seniors who have been placed there, trying to find as much as I could about the company, clearing mock interviews online and everything. They had an online round first, I cleared it with the second highest mark. (250 of us wrote it).

Then about a month later, it was Recruitment Day (notice the reference to Judgement Day) and I was super nervous. The recruiters knew me as one of the toppers and knew I was in contact with my seniors and I immediately knew I had a chance. All my friends and staff were rooting for me. They all knew I had a thing for this company and that I had been working hard.

I had five rounds. I was the first person to clear all of them. I was incredibly happy. It was all happening too smoothly to be true. This was what I had wanted for 4 years!

They announce the results and that was where the fucking plot twist was.

I don't always listen to music while coding, but when I do, it's because things are absolutely unmitigably fucked and it's going to take some herculean effort to unfuck it.

I have this thing I've done for more years than my kids have been alive when shit really hits the fan and I need to show the staff the old lady can still lay waste.

Step 1: put on "the playlist," which consists of only the most aggressive 90s marilyn manson songs.*
Step 2: put on the headphones, which are noise cancelling and super bassy
Step 3: pound a monster (blue, obv)
Step 4: get super manic
Step 5: get in the zone and destroy several features or a flotilla of bugs in a single night
Step N: make absolute fucking magic
Step N+1: call in sick the next day and sleep til noon

What's your hero process?

*Content has less to do with it than the headspace I've come to associate with it and the fact I can't get drowsy with the constant aggression.

One Thursday noon,
operation manager: (looking at mobile)what the.....something is wrong i am getting bunch of emails about orders getting confirmed.
Colleague dev: (checks the main email where it gets all email sent/received) holy shit all of our clients getting confirmation email for orders which were already cancelled/incomplete.
Me: imediately contacting bluehost support, asking them to down the server so just that we can stopp it, 600+ emails were already sent and people keep getting it.
*calls head of IT* telling the situation because he's not in the office atm.

CEO: wtf is happening with my business, is it a hacker?

*so we have a intrusion somebody messed the site with a script or something*

All of us(dev) sits on the code finding the vulnerabilities , trying to track the issue that how somebody was able to do that.

*After an hour*

So we have gone through almost easch function written in the code which could possibly cause that but unable to find anything which could break it.

Head asking op when did you started getting it actually?
Op: right after 12 pm.

*an other hour passes*

Head: (checking the logs) so right after the last commit, site got updated too?. And....and.....wtf what da hell who wrote this shit in last commit?
* this fuckin query is missing damn where clause* 🤬

Me: me 😰

*long pause, everyone looking at me and i couldn't look at anyone*
The shame and me that how can i do that.

Head: so its you not any intrudor 😡
Further investigating, what the holy mother of #_/&;=568 why cronjob doesn't check how old the order is. Why why why.

(So basically this happened, because of that query all cancelled/incomplete orders got updated damage done already, helping it the cronjob running on all of them sending clients email and with that function some other values got updated too, inshort the whole db is fucked up.)
and now they know who did it as well.

*Head after some time cooling down, asked me the solution for the mess i create*

Me: i took backup just couple of days before i can restore that with a script and can do manual stuff for the recent 2 days. ( operation manager was already calling people and apologising from our side )

Head: okay do it now.

Me: *in panic* wrote a script to restore the records ( checking what i wrote 100000000 times now ), ran...tested...all working...restored the data.
after that wrote an apology email, because of me staff had to work alot and it becomes so hectic just because of me.

* at the end of the day CEO, head, staff accepted apology and asked me to be careful next time, so it actually teached me a lesson and i always always try to be more careful now especially with quries. People are really good here so that's how it goes* 🙂

Received a urgent email from a business client saying that the application we support is completely broken. Their staff said they used the app to send several submissions that day but they did not come through. This is a major issue as these submissions need to occur daily.

I understand that this is a priority so I immediately check everything. I test the app, the server, check the database. Everything seems fine, but there's no record of these submissions. Maybe it's the specific device that was used. I reply saying that everything seems to be in order. Can I please be provided with more information about what occurred? What time were the submissions sent?

Client replies saying that the submissions were definitely sent and that the staff swear by it.

I now know something is up, so I remote into the the devices in question and check the logs. The app was not even used that day! I've got them! Those liars!

I am now quite pissed off, but remain professional and reply saying that we log all app events and that the logs show that the app had not been used at all that day. Now they have to own up to their lie. Right?

Wrong. Client replies with: The issue has been fixed. Thanks.

Can you believe the bloody nerve? The client doesn't even have the decency to apologise but rather insinuates that it was all our fault.

Well I'm not having that. I reply: It is great that the app is functioning correctly. However, I believe it is important to understand the cause of the issue as to prevent it from occuring again.

Client: No reply.

Well, if you want to waste other people's time, here's the fat bill.

Moral of the story. Don't trust anything that the client says and for any issue, debug the user before doing anything else.

To that person who came here to weep about how his employees don’t want to work on weekends and how he’s gonna force them to and deleted his rant that was downvoted to oblivion:

Please re-evaluate your mindset. Today it’s just downvotes, tomorrow it’s your entire staff quitting and pressing charges.

This is more of a rant about myself and what a prick I am. Last week I left my brand new Kindle at a hotel, just forgot about it because my brain is mush.

I don't even bother calling the hotel for days thinking and knowing full well the staff would have taken it (this stupid thing is worth a week's worth of wages here). I decide to call anyway and ask. "Yes sir, Mr. Matt, your Kindle is safe and sound in our hotel's main safe in a soft case awaiting your pickup or we will be happy to courier it to you".

I drove back to Varna and the super nice hotel guy apologized he didn't have my number otherwise he would have called (I don't have a phone number in BG).

I hate being the cynical asshole-dick I've always been.

Fuck.

I'm getting drunk now.

I work in an unrelated field, and code in my spare time as I'm just starting out. Have to pay tbe bills somehow, amirite?

So my boss has installed cameras "for security", and uses them to monitor staff on a regular basis. A couple months ago he pulled me aside with a piece of paper. My "second written warning" (next step prior to dismissal) however I haven't received any other disciplinary action.

The warning contained 10 points, all of which made reference to observances over the damn cameras.

Please keep in mind -- I have been an overachieving empleyee for over 5 years, and friends with the bosses the whole time. My boss was in my wedding party.

About 2 months ago. My job fired half the dev staff including the only other web developer. I am a junior, and now the sole web developer. I have been yelled at for not working fast enough and not knowing the code base well enough. (I did a lot of Rails, and this is a Spring shop). I have daily panic attacks about coming to work and having to be here for 8 hours. I have never felt more abused. I'm constantly stressed, and drinking more than I should. All advice given to me has been "just stay there til you find something else or they fire you." but it feels like no one really knows how unhealthy this is for me. My one hope is that I didn't bomb this interview at a university. I fucking hate my job.

(L)user tried to impress the IT staff (myself included) by installing a few of the NSA leaked tools last night, (l)user was infected with ransomware... (l)user is now job hunting. 👌🏽

3 person help desk shop for 450 users. One of my tasks is procurement.

Customer: we need a portable monitor that takes up less desk space than the one you typically have us buy

Me: at the conference last week we displayed the upgraded model of that portable monitor which takes up half the desk space. It’s $250 instead of the $150 that you normally would pay.

Customer: that ones too expensive, find me something else.

Me: unfortunately not too many companies make portable monitors and since AOC is unreliable in quality we have been recommending Asus, who only makes those two models that I’ve shown you.

Customer: I want the AOC one anyways. You shouldn’t have shown the more expensive one because now my staff want it and I can’t get it. If everyone can’t afford it you shouldn’t have it available.

Me: I understand your frustration, we have recommended that more expensive one as an option for people who have special accommodations for eye care and as an alternative if people dislike the current model. Since it’s not required that you purchase it and since we do have a much less expensive option we will continue to recommend it. As for the AOC one we will allow you to purchase it but will not be supporting or repairing it.

Customer: Can we get this instead? *sends link to $989 pre tax off brand version of Razer Project Valeria*

My condolences go out to the 800 or however many amazing employees/devs that were laid off at Activision Blizzard due to poor leadership and guidance. Idk how many were devs were laid off but it’s all a shame. To think that one of the leading AAA companies is so fucking blind to the truth and only go for $$$ is a waste. If they had people in charge whom actually understood why products in the gaming industry are fun and popular and strives to make good games instead of slot machines and didn’t treat their development staff with such disrespect then maybe they’d make good games. Even bringing the great name of blizzard down to shit.. it’s phenomenal how blind they are and where they put their money. They are disgusting and need to get their head out of their ass even though it wouldn’t help anyone. Sorry to anyone that is involved with them

There's is a fine line

For the first time in ages I decided to order a takeaway.

Had a quick check on the takeaway's online menu. My order total was going to be £15.60.

I called up to order and the total was apparently £21.40.

I queried this with the member of staff and mentioned I got the prices from their online menu.

I was told the online menu was "slightly out of date".

When I got into the takeaway to pickup my order I got speaking to the owner. He said the menu on their site was from 2009. He stressed updating the menu was on their list of things to do.

Lol :)

How to run a successful business:
1. Fire 30% of staff because covid, 'we can't afford you'
2. Be wrong about covid and have higher sales volume than ever
3. Be unable to handle such traffic with limited resources
4. Move EVERYONE, every fucking specialist, every non-people person to customer support and make them refund ALL disputed orders like robots because customers aren't happy
5. $?

Tl;dr

Longest Rant I've written so far.

How to manage a school (by out school director):

Did this student do something spezial to emphasize the school?
-No: Ignore him
-Yes: Did the student achieve this with the help of this schools staff?
-No: Take all the credit
-Yes: Hahaha, just a joke, nobody receives help from the school. Goto -No

Q: Should this class get the 5 day trip, they've been waiting for the whole year?
Director: No.
Q: But they don't even participate in other trips just to go there.
D: No
(Good thing she did not have the last word there)

Does the school director need this one week trip to india, just to talk once about stuff, you can talk about via email, to a sponsor?
D: "Of course I deserve it"

D: "We need faster internet in this school"
Network admins: "But it won't be of any use, if the network can't handle it. We'll need better pcs (and network conponents) on top of that"
D: "No, bot enough money available for that one." *browses email with IPad paid by school money*

Teacher: "I want to realize project xy with the students. We'll need around 1200€ (for 20 people)."
D: "Can place xy at our school to as advertise?"
T: "No, but it's be a valuable le-"
D: "600 at most."
(Again denied by people who aren't fcking assholes. We got 1500€, so 300€ per group)

D: So what makes you think you can teach informatics in this school"
Applicant: "Well, I'm friends with one of your teacher here. We went to university together, where I learn't nothing about informatics and I don't even understand the principles of this subject"
D: "Close enough. Hired, you can teach them all the theory stuffy. You don't have to prepare that yourself another teacher has done so. Just read it from his documents."

*In class with the mentioned teacher talking about Threads*
*Le wild code appears*
while (doStuff())
System.out.println ("Thread working...");
System.out.println ("Thread terminated");
T: "... and most importantly, when you have done all the work be sure to terminate the thread with 'System.out.println ("Thread terminated");'"

Should this teacher be allowed to participate in this seminar about burnouts?
D: "No, I can't afford paying the supplenze."

Staff: "We need to talk with the director about this."
S: "Not in her office. The cafeteria maybe"
*Not in the cafeteria either*
S: "Seems like she didn't come to achool today. Let's try tomorrow"
(^ Stuff that happens almost daily. Screw semicolons. I see her only once a month at most)

*Student send 5000 emails by accident* (Shit happens 😂😅😂😅)
D: "You gonna work here for a full afternoon"
*Student arrives for his punishment*
Staff: "Good that you're here. Do this real quick."
*10 min. Later*
Student: "Done"
Staff: "Well, we have no more work to give you, so you might as well leave"

DONE!!! Good job coming so far.

Our school is supposed to be the best, but internally it's one big meme.

I’m on a trip through Scandinavia with a travel group. Today we are staying at a Hotel in Hammerfest. I just got into my hotel room and my lamp looked like that. So I made a photo and went to the reception:
Me (showing photo): Is this supposed to look like that?
staff: Uhmm maybe!?
Me: 🤨
Staff: Do you belong to the travel group?
Me: Yes.
Staff: Then it’s supposed to look like that.

WTF!!!?

Story of a penguin fledgling, one of my end users whom I migrated from Win 7 to Linux Mint. She had been on Windows since Win 98 and still uses Windows at work.

Three months before. Me, Linux might not be as good, but Win 10 is even worse. User, mh.
Migration. User, looks different, but not bad.
One month later. User, it's nice, I like it.
Three months later. User, why does Windows reboot doing lengthy stuff?
Six months later. User, I hate Windows. Why is everyone using this crap?
One year later. Malware issues at work. User to IT staff, that wouldn't have happened with Linux. Me, that's the spirit!

Nowhere near my worst co-worker, but still funny.

The Dev team were all in a separate glass walled room with the business & support staff out in a bigger room outside. As is our wont, we wore headphones while working a lot.

One of the non technical folks asked me why and I said it helps me focus by keeping out distracting noises.

"Oh, I thought you were listening to code or something"

😮

It was kind of an eye-opener as to how little clue a person sitting just 4 meters away had of what I did or how I did it. And actually it helped explain some confusing interactions...

My first two hackathons I didn't participate as coder but as staff, because I didn't have team neither considered myself ready for it, I swore it was never going to happen again. Never again was I going to be on the sidelines watching everybody else code.

//An okay long rant..

So i work at this small robotics start-up company I Copenhagen.
The first dumb part is that it only uses interns as staff, because then they don't need to pay people. (I am working part time, for free. Just to get experience (I am only 20 btw))

So.. I often get into an argument with my boss, since she is a designer with a "passion" for robotics (she has no clue how to do anything related to the work) But I often try to explain to her some current limitations in the staff, and what is possible for us to do, but she will never listen. She really wants us to design our own microcontroller board PCB, and she want it at the size of a coin. However when I tell her that none of the, non paid works has the experience or education to design such a thing, she never wants to acknowledge it, and it really pisses me off.
And her dad, who is the top boss, only care for esthetics when he is making a work environment, which is dumb when we just need to develop stuff...

Sorry if the rant was too long but had to get it out..

My CTO prefers to hire very expensive consultants than to trust on staff. It's funny, because he also decided that all technical teams should run on the absolute minimal amount of resources.

You can't imagine how shitty it felt this morning when he sent an email talking about a security consultant that we should hire, just because he thinks the guy could "take our expertise to the next level".
They will charge us 450/hour to run assessments, to find the exact same things my team discovered a year ago.

Yes, it is dumb that airports, stores, and hospitals run very outdated software, but imagine how hard it would be to upgrade all those machines, especially considering the programs that might not work well with never operating systems and the fact that staff would have to be trained all over again. Not to mention, most of these businesses and services can't afford any downtime and need to make sure that everything is compatible (so, update one PC, you have to update all of them). In theory, I am still a fan of updated systems, but then again, I have a 10 year old XP installation at home, which I've been preparing to reinstall for a year or so (don't really use that PC, but still)

Memo on August 4th: Staff, we're moving to the new building. IT, make sure the building is ready by September 15th.

IT: But the entire networking, surveillance, fire suppression (yes, we do that too) and power management systems have to be installed/redone.

Management: What's so hard about that? Just get it done.

Memo about a week ago: Timeline for move shifted to September 9th

IT: Sir, this request is unreasonable especially since you still want us to go through the usual procurement process of hiring vendors to deal with stuff.

Management: So you mean to tell me you can't handle that in the next couple weeks?

IT: We're a large organisation with ~300 employees. The data centre in the new building isn't even usable yet.

Management: I don't care. Make sure everything is placed and operational by the 5th. Stop making a mountain out of a mole hill!

WHAT FUCKING PAYMENT PROVIDER SENDS ALL THEIR TECHNICAL STAFF ON VACATION?!?!?

Leaving customer service to tell me to "wait until they get back... In three weeks"

Unbelievable, I'm actually thinking there are laws and regulations about this if you are providing money handling services, but the sheer stupidity in itself!!

Had a meeting with a web development firm with 10+ developers on staff to discuss ways we could help them improve efficiency and they said "we don't have anyone who knows SQL or databases"...

How do you even find 10 developers who "don't know databases"?

My company claims to have a talent retention problem, which to an extent is true. But then they humble brag about how their salary system works and I am like "Yeah that makes sense." See what they fail to realize is that software engineering isn't as niche (using that term loosely) as the other engineering disciplines they hire. They only adjust salaries based on those of the sector they're in and not the software industry itself. They say "we don't compare ourselves to Microsoft and Google because we're not in the same sphere." I'm like "yeah, but when you have a sw staff that regularly snags you patents and are considered some of the best in the industry, where the hell do you think they're gonna go?"

I guess what I'm saying is I want them to raise their average salary because I'm terrible and I must use the threat of them losing the smart guys if I am ever to get paid more. I see no holes in this plan.

But what the FUCK VULTR!!!
It is the third time in two weeks that I actually have to reopen issues because your staff do not know how to troubleshoot correctly!

If there is routingproblems, please check from an external server and not from the same network!

I dont know, but Vultr has significantly lost the servicemind during this year...
Time for another host?

Not sure if this technically counts as all nighter, but when Udacity released their basics Android nanodegree they had a contest where the first 100 worldwide to finish got a scholarship for the advanced Android nanodegree. I followed the uberman sleepy schedule, 20 min nap every 4 hours, around the clock for 6 days. Finished #17. They didn't even have the videos or lessons for the last 3 sections, just a description and a project for each, so they set up a slack channel to let us talk with staff and collaborate with others trying to get it done.

This one ticked me off because of the sheer rudeness of a demand they made of me. I had been building a personal freelance brand around myself and my skills for many years. I had in the prior 3 years developed it from a freelance to a lean agency model. That was running in parallel with full time work and the FT employer was happy to allow it. Eventually that employer downsized me and almost everyone else on staff. But they liked me and gave me mini-projects to do on a contract basis. I began interviewing for FT work with other companies.

One agency I applied at gave me a phone screen interview. The main hiring person was also an investor in the agency. He noted my lean agency and said that a second interview would be contingent on my dropping my clients that I was working for on my own time, disposing completely of my personal brand, and even giving up my domain name.

I told him I’d think about it. But the more I thought about it the more angry I got about such a stupid request. Why does this new company I don’t even know I will like working for get to tell me to abandon my “Plan B” option for if I quit or they decide to lay me off?

They never called back but I wished they had so I could have had the satisfaction of telling them no.

i worked at this startup that had these very low wages, hustle culture, bad work environment (bad or no computers for staff, no ergonomics, cramped), and they delayed payments a lot. my boss was mad at me cause i said i didn't see myself there in the future lol. i didn't last 4 months, and i saw colleagues leave within a month. i was so burned out i thought i didn't want to be a dev anymore

Two of them, both are not very extrem.
Positive one first:

Meetings were usually not dead serious (unless there was a problem), everyone just joked around a little, made their actual points and got back to work.

Now the other one:
A client's QA staff commented "this bug is still occuring" on 5 tickets, without checking if they ever deployed the new release candidate.
They didn't deploy the new RC, so of course, the bugs couldn't have been fixed on their side.

I'm working on a larger web project for authorities that went live yesterday.
I also trained the staff for the last two days so that everyone knows how to register an account, use the application etc.

Got the first call today: "I can't create an account...the website does not start".

Uh..okay...what the? >_>

Turns out, the user entered the URL in Google Search and wondered why nothing happens and why the website does not load.

Wow... and that was just the first call.

The worst mistake I have ever made was working for UK web design agencies.

No appreciation for their staff and honestly the worst working environment I have ever witnessed.

5 of us working for a larger team were tasked with doing some R&D, we blew everyone away and were given funding to start a new team and hire people to make the project come to life.

One of the high level sales / product managers we were reporting to, secretly had another team work on a similar idea because he needed it quicker (i.e. no time for research, just build it).

After forming new team, we were asked to work on his project instead because it was further along. 4 months later, big knob comes to a meeting and basically says "You know what, this doesn't look like we have enough features, we need more, but I don't know what".

Project blew up 2 months later, head of the unit kicked up a shit storm saying how badly everything was planned and canned everything. Now one of our clients is building nearly the same thing we were originally working on, the team no longer exists and i'm back on the R&D team.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the R&D team, actually didn't want to leave in the first place but was told I had to. But the sheer anger and frustration to see that walking cluster fuck strutting around like his shit doesn't stink, derailing entire teams, meanwhile we can't hire new staff due to lack of funding.

Heres an idea, fire the fucktards bleeding us dry ... then we'll have lots of funding.

met a client yesterday to discuss about the coming task. After discussion, we agreed that I will develop the API for the system in one month. I did the planning and posted the upcoming tasks in Trello. Today, he told me some of the tasks have been done by his staff and asked me if I can continue the remaining tasks and get it done in one week. Hey, bro, what you want!? it is not what we agreed! do you think i can understand the code that your staff wrote, with poor documentation and structure, in few hours and immediately start working on it, yet deliver everything with high quality? come on...

I recently built a staff portal. Sometimes when people ask what I did this summer I just say "I built a portal" without any additional info just to let them think I'm Doc Brown crazy.

I think we all know who the Atlas really is.

I've had this feeling ever since I've started my IT career.

So today I found a way to break into any Apple Mac (provided the exploit hasn't been fixed by the owner) and access all private files, as long as I have physical access to it, in less than 5 minutes.

After finding this, a quick Google on the method reveals this has been a workaround for years.

And to think I once praised Apple for their security standards.

Edit: this was done to an in-house Mac that my company own, and had been password locked by a member of staff who had been fired, but held important company documents on the computer. It was in no way a breach of privacy.

Business Intelligence, the most confused market technology has to offer. (Perhaps rivaled only by machine licking. Learning, whatever)

Step 1: develop a product that can replace a company's database guys. Make it cost more than the database guys.

Step 2: Show off product to managers using images of the product that the managers will love, but never have the skills to do themselves.

Step 3: Fucking obviously the managers buy it.

Step 4: Fire half the database staff.

Step 5: Managers give the BI tools to their remaining database guys ANYWAYS and instruct them to use it

Step 6: Database guys spend a month learning the new tool because management "wants to use it too".

Step 7: Database guys now use this new system for reports but have trouble using it for complex use cases, as it was designed for simple use cases. Meanwhile, management will never, ever touch the tool again.

Step 8: Hire new guys for reporting, because the remaining database guys can't complete both their normal tasks *and* the reports.

Step 9: Database guys are expensive. Go to step 1.

The one meeting where without warning they fired half of the staff. Bomb-happy.

Conversation with coworker at a staff function...

girl: ...we can't wait to see what you can do!
Me: Great! I can't wait to get stuck in, but you know, those exports you wanted from it, that doesn't have to wait. If you need that straight away, come to my desk and I'll make some queries for you and pull out the data you want...

Girl: o_0
Girl: ... Omg, you can do that?! You're awesome!!

Me later: o_0 - the Dev before me could never at least do that?!

So, we’ve a small UK based dev team, we follow good practices and get good results. But ‘they’ want to deploy quicker (it was suggested we skip the test phases...) but don’t want to invest in more staff.
So their suggestion is to outsource development to Bangladesh and have us in-house devs work on discovery and innovation.
I’m uncomfortable with this as it feels they are thinking they can get quicker and cheaper dev done abroad (which I hate as it feels disrespectful to my fellow dev brothers n’ sisters).
Also disjointed as in my experience planning and dev’ing work best when you can talk face-to-face.
Thoughts?

Yesterday I was hanging with the guys from our Records dpt in the staff lounge. Their manager is a pretty nice talkative guy. Everything was going well until this happened..

Him: Hey you, I have an idea for an app. You can"definitely" help me, right? Or someone you know who also does the code thing..

Me: It depends. Just before you tell me about this idea, know that you'll be paying me or whoever will be doing this job unt..i..l *he interrupts

Him: Paying? I thought it was a one time or few hundreds of dollars. Why do I have to keep paying when you haven't finished the app?

Me: Did you finish your entire work this week?...but you're still getting paid next week, right?

Him: Oh crap, makes sense. Ok, how about I pay you the amount you charge then, that's it?

Me: See, you don't get it. I know once the app is done, you'll come back to me to fix and update things. When that time comes, you'll have to pay me again. And with the initial payment, don't just think you pay me and that's all... you'll...

Him: Crap, I have think more and come up with a plan for this.. nevermind, I'll keep you updated.

I think I made him sad knowing that, this sort of things doesn't happen easily.

More than 2 years ago I alerted management that the default password we use for client accounts (and two of the variations) were pwned in database breaches. Today we receive an all-staff email that management "has reason to believe this password may have been compromised" and that we needed to change it across the 1200+ accounts where it's being used (200+ clients, several accounts per client).

Is it unprofessional to send a few "I told you so" memes and gifs?

Bought a series on Amazon, "Normal People". Trailer was English, my profile is set to Germany/English, but when I started the film, it was the German dubbing audio, with no option to switch to English. Could be worse, as I am a native German, but often 80% of the original atmosphere of anything gets lots by translation and German studio speakers.

Just in case staff at Amazon wonder why I rarely watch nor buy anything from them, this is one of the reasons. Of course they wouldn't, I'm just one in a million customers, but fuck them anyway.

I taught an intro to programming class today, brought back memories of highschool...

I remember when I started my first IT class in grade 10, it was a 50/50 split between IT theory amd programming. Choices were java or delphi...I made the uninformed choice to do java (thank goodness) and really enjoyed it. For some reason the logic and OOP concepts really made sense to me and i was well ahead of the class. I was always top 5 for maths/physics/chem and english literature but never enjoyed them for a second. On the other hand programming was something i could do for hours and still enjoy. In my final year we had to do a project, most of my class was still struggling with very simple for loops and jframes. The projects were terrible drag and drop NetBeans UIs that would convert meters to feet.

I remember being upset with the quality and ended up writing an entire client/server chat system with file sharing, voice notes, voice streaming, server admin controls, usernames and passwords (plaintext sql of course 😂), admins/mods/guests etc...

Got 100% and a personal recognition from the headmaster...found out yesterday the staff at the college have actually been using it since the time I left.

I don't know why i typed this whole story, something about teaching the kids where i was myself made me feel warm and fuzzy inside

Our company is cheap, cheap as fuck. We have to use some third-party platforms and every year they choose something that is slightly cheaper than the other. (like a few $ per annual), they do not know that we have to refactor our code at the backend because the changes of the platform.

It doesn't end there, they even look for devs from third world countries to work for them remotely instead of hiring permanent staff (I understand it is cheaper because of currency difference and etc), but what about the training period or to let them become comfortable with the existing system, even when he/she is a genius... it takes time to be productive at work.

The worst part is they dont give a shit, they think devs can be replaced easily just like some construction workers carrying stuffs on site (no offence to them), management treating people like shit and doesn't care when they leave.

So I started a 80hour intership today at our Department of Education and this is how it went...

Boss : Design a database to show all applicants that applied for jobs at schools.

*I start thinking which tables and columns I'm going to use and start designing the database, writes out all the tables on paper*

Me : Is there a pc I should work on or should I use my laptop? And which database engine do you use?

B : No you can use your laptop. And btw we use MS Access

*Thinking wtf kind of business even governmental uses Access for their databases. But anyway, start creating the databases and relationships when my boss walks in*

B : No, what are you doing?

M : Im creating the database you asked for.

B : No, you design it on paper. Draw all the tables, draw the report and the form then you come show it to me, if I decide its good enough you can come in tomorrow and start creating it.

*Wtf kind of place is this, are you mentally retarded? You have a IT staff of 3 people, in which only the actual fulltime intern is a qualified IT professional, but when me or him tries to do some actual work, you give us shit about doing what was asked from us*

Worked for a team where Scrum was thrust on it to fix/cover up bad management decisions.

Manager is really enthusiastic (to impress his new boss) and gets a bunch of colored post-it sticky notes for stories and shit. Team spends a bunch of time carefully writing stories & etc and arranging said notes on a white board. Come in the next day and 90% of them fell off due to condensation, or such such.

Left the group, with the rest of the senior dev staff, after the "15 minute" standup expanded a minimum of 1 hour each day... and the SM carefully writing down everything everyone said.

A co-dev gave me some career advice - "when the pilots are drunk, it's time to get off the plane."

My university alerts all student and staff any time a phishing email is reported. I've yet to attend one class, and I've received a few dozen emails alerting you of phishing emails being sent. It's sad people can't notice the pattern of the emails, and realize right away "Hey this is a bullshit email" and not rely on the alerts.

It's the 21st century; basic computer competency is a necessity.

In college when we had programming labs where we had to use the schools unix server to compile and run.

My professor was very bad at explaining what actually needed to be done in the labs to the point where even the TAs didn't know what to do.

We were suppose to write an application in C to find out by "trial and error" how large we could make an array (or something like that, it's been too long). This not being explained well and no one knowing that much about C, I wrote a loop that just kept growing an array until it couldn't anymore. I watched it consume 72GB or memory from the servers before quitting the loop and realizing with the TA what the professor really meant.

I now feel bad for the IT staff monitoring the system wondering where 72GB just went...

Our company wants us to fill out monthly surveys to tell managers how happy we our at work and to give them feedback. The survey will not be anonymous as they asked us to self identify.

Also the company is small (just over 100 people) and over 1/3rd of staff have been fired over the past year.

Yeahhhhh, how about no

My very first wow, was back in 2011 as a freshman at university, algorithm classes. Our first language was Pascal, (because it was easy to learn and get to the idea of programming.) so, lecturer wrote Hello World! and that moment was the best part, when I realized that was called a program. After all these years I still remember this output. ❤️ awesome.
After this, its injected in my veins and soul. Even when I come home drunk or coming from the friends, I open my macbook and trying to write some cool , nerdy staff.

Its my life, my passion, my hobby. I dropped everything for this. ^^

Long story short, every time I feel amazing when I do something new and interesting.

The whole company [cult]ure bullshit has really gotten out of hand. When management sets new deadlines that only put stress on the devs then decide to have some cringe AF company bonding soirée in the middle of the work day who benefits from this? The rebranded HR platoon thinks all employees want to participate in basically mandatory chum-it-up gatherings. Don’t get me wrong I love to party and enjoy myself, but I go to work to do just that. Work. And when other departments whose main responsibility is setting up events for the technical staff, they never seem to consider these work loads or what other people actually want. It might seem all fun and dandy on the surface but when you hear tales of people talking in the closed offices about so-and-so because they aren’t reflecting the cultural values, it starts to seem very fucking problematic. Like why would anyone ever say anything when you would probably just get the boot for just being too different, even though all this sits on top of some guise of, “a diverse work environment”. All in all I hope this [cult]ure shit summers down sooner than later. And I’m in a right to work state, so transparency be damned.

Product Owner keeps demanding developers do items outside of Sprint, deleted story points to get extra items in, signs off holiday for my staff, even hired some unqualified developers, etc. for my team (I'm the Dev Manager). I'm blessed to report into the PMO who backs up the Product Owner, in front my own reports, meaning I have no authority. What would you do?

PMO has decided that if we drag items from Sprint to Backlog when they reach SIT, we have more space for Dev items in the Sprint :-| Though he expects developers to actually do the SIT work, including writing the SIT tests :-|

When I wrote my first algorithm that learns...

So in order to on board our customers onto our software we have to link the product on their data base to the products on ours. This seems easy enough but when you actually start looking at their data you find it's a fuck up of duplication's, bad naming conventions and only 10% or so have distinct identifiers like a suppler code,model no or barcode. After a week or 2 they find they can't do it and ask for our help and we take over. On average it took 2 of our staff 1-2 weeks to complete the task manually searching one record of theirs against our db at a time. This was a big problem since we only had enough resources to on board 2-4 customers a month meaning slow growth.

I realized when looking at different customers databases that although the data was badly captured - it was consistently badly captured similar to how crap file names will usually contain the letters 'asd' because its typed with the left hand.

I then wrote an algorithm that fuzzy matched against our data and the past matches of other customers data creating a ranking algorithm similar to google page search. After auto matching the majority of results the top 10 ranked search results for each product on their db is shown to a human 1 at a time and they either click the the correct result or select "no match" and repeat until it is done at which point the algo will include the captured data in ranking future results.

It now takes a single staff member 1-2 hours to fully on board a customer with 10-15k products and will continue to get faster and adapt to changes in language and naming conventions. Making it learn wasn't really my intention at the time and more a side effect of what I was trying to achieve. Completely blew my mind.

!rant

I received a pair of complements on how well I run team meetings after an engineering all staff this morning. Received a similar comment last week.

Someone asked “what’s your secret?”

I reply “Laziness”

“What?”

“I’m lazy. I don’t like meetings most of the time. So when I run meetings, I run them so that they’re over as fast as possible”

“How do you do that?”

“By knowing what I actually want”

“What if you don’t know what you want?”

“Then there’s no meeting”

“Well what if y-“

“Hey listen I have another meeting to get to”

Just got fired from a second dev house in a row due to staff reduction and lack of projects. I should have chosen to be a carpenter instead...

Other staff: I’m having trouble logging in to website A. My password doesn’t work.

[Me thinking: That’s weird. When I set up your account, the password worked. I told you to change it. So maybe you forgot your new password. We haven’t changed anything to about the login process.]

Me: I reset your password. [sends new password]

Other Staff: The new password doesn’t work. But I can log in with Google.

Me: 😶 Website A does not have sign in with Google. What website are you actually on???

Then the Corporate god said to the executives "Tell your slaves, I will soon pour out my wrath upon you. By this you will know that I am the Lord: With the staff that is in the IT's hand I will strike your computers with the plague of BitLocker, and throughout the land of Corporate, the code will become dust. Every partition but the main one will perish, from the laptop of the HR to the servers of the dev."

I mean, seriously, does BitLocker ever *not* fuck up everything?

Devs: There is to much work for the team size, can we say no or wait to the business?
Mgmt: Here are some staff aug contractors.

Later

Devs: They are screwing things up.
Mgmt: Then manage them better, it’s your work they are doing.

My current job. Fire half the dev staff, leave junior as only web dev with no plans to rehire. Then immediately starts a larger project that we don't have a contract for yet with half baked and fuzzy requirements, due by March. The reason for firing most of the staff? Running out of money and can't promise our jobs 3 months out.

At the age of 50 I have learned what FICA is.

FInancial Customer Account

It'a a SAP module but I suppose It was the name of a Penthouse department.

P.S.

FICA in Italian are female genitals, "recupero" is retrieve.
It sounds like "pussy retrieve".
This document was made by a staff of 4 men and 4 women.

A massive thank you to the DevRant staff for sending me this 1st class to London! Can't wait to add it to my laptop - pics to follow.

So, currently I am on Vacation and my dad asked me to train two of his staff members to use computer for data entry and basic usage stuff.

Now both guys are total noobs and have never used a computer before.

So I decided to take this opportunity to conduct a simple experiment. I am training one on Windows and other on Ubuntu to check out which one performs better.

The windows guy is winning.

I fucking hate corporate environment. We have a weekly meeting in our tech department where a team is chosen at random to present the project they're working on, architecture and such. You know what? We have fucking documents, for both product scope and technical architecture. If you're interested in our work, go fucking read our docs. If you have a question, slack us or send us a fucking email. Why the fuck do I have to attend a 1-hour meeting every week for this bullshit. Oh and some dude from upper management has a brilliant idea: from today they decide to host 2 such meetings per week, 1 within the tech department, and another within the whole company. So we had to attend the same fucking meeting twice in 1 week!!! Fucking genius!
I'm so fucking tired of these meaningless meetings, but attendance is recommended because "this is how you reach staff level" as they told me. Fucking bullshit. I may try a few more years for the sake of financial stability, and then find a small shop where people just leave me the fuck alone with my codes.

How to make those marketing staff of x service stop sending you an email when they don't have unsubscribe link:

1. Reply back asking about the free tier/plan
2. Profit!

2 days and no word from them after spamming me daily about the service

Positive story ahead.

Had to try and make a new system on my own in a company with no tech staff. I was scared shitless of the responsibility. About a year later we got 2 new devs and people are somehow paying for our very flawed and incomplete mvp.
It's fulfilling and fun. Taking something from zero and suddenly having an actual application with customers.

The other 2 engineers are fun and we talk shit while coding and teaching each other. We also study new tech every day to keep getting better.

I'm even getting some stocks soon.

Long road ahead but honestly, life's good.

It does give you that cold rush feeling, when a low level support agent can just use some sort of "user impersonation" feature and literally send you screenshots of your conversations or other, what seems private information and should be only used for actual escalated staff, for when there's a need for an actual middleman (ie. client not paying - logs review) and for everything else there should be a test account they can do screenshots from, e.g. for general website use questions

QMS admin: you only finished the code review, you didn't complete it!

Me: opens review clicks complete

QMS: you didn't export the code review comments!

Me: opens code review again. Clicks Export. Attaches *.txt

QMS: you exported the comments in the wrong format, I can't read them

Me: what is the right format?

QMS: SOP document <random alphanumeric> clearly states the format

Me: spends 20 minutes navigating the piece of crap QMS software with no search function folder by folder.

Finds document.

It's 120 pages and 4 years old.

On page 68, I find "template to be implemented"

Reply to QMS, that document doesn't actually give a reference to a template

QMS: Email my line manager "Please teach your staff how to do a code review"

why do you do this to me, school

(NOTE: this is the staff-only network.)

When ActiveX is proposed as a solution for a staff facing web application, but all the staff run Windows 10 and use Edge or Chrome...

These lady staff in my office, I tell you, are moron. They keep switching AC on and off every 10 minutes. They have the control here, we have to adjust.

1 dept with only 1 staff, well 1 chief to be precise, all employees quit. Another dept with not enough manpower. Requested the dept with highest manpower to help with other depts tasks while struggling and solving the shits out. Thought company is bullying them with extra workload and voice out they are looking for new jobs.

They are not wrong. And that's the bittersweet shit I have to swallow. In the end, it was my responsibility and I'm not doing enough.

When a university-wide mailing list system restricts posting to a list based solely on the From address... I was able to telnet port 25 from an outside server (so obviously no SPF either), pretend I'm admin@, and send a message to all students and staff...

Widget "hack" in secondary.

When I was around 13 or 14 I was enrolled at a public school in the UK. In an effort to try be eco friendly, the students and a IT technicain teamed up to try and create a widget that would track the consumption of printer credit used by all users (staff and students).

At first, I was just playing around with the homepage source code but eventually noticed the widget had separate code within the page.

Because all of the computers were interconnected, I grabbed the source code of the home page and put it into a notepad editor.

I used the intranet to look up staff names and student login usernames. I replaced my user ID with several staff members.

Boom, I could see how much paper they had used, how much they owed the library etc. May not be as impressive as others exploits but some staff were in debt by hundreds and never paid back a penny.

Hope you liked my story.

Company has a severe lack of fresh blood.

"let's recruit everyone who has an IQ over room temperature and barely passes the mark".

Me protesting bloody murder cause I know that the idea is not just profoundly dumb, but frustration from high staff turnover takes a toll on *everyone*.

"nah can't be that bad".

Then the discussion started who could do monitoring and mentoring, so we can sort out the bad apples *quickly*.

Me reminding again that this is exactly what leads to a high staff turnover, as this is nothing else than "hire, hire - quickly fire".

Guess who won the award of being the mentor / monitor ....

*drum roll*

Come on, I know you would NEVER expect this.

Let me surprise you: M E.

Yeah. They chose the person that was absolutely against this idea...

Because that person is "most qualified for the task at hand and has the necessary qualifications".

Today was the first 4 h workshop with a new recruit.

The Lord has had zero mercy on me.

I started to mute myself after 30 minutes in regular intervals to just scream and curse the world.

How profound dumb a person can be amazes me.

Person has had a "very expensive 6 month boot camp course".

I was close asking if the boot camp course was in watching porn and wanking their brain cells out....

Git... Yeah he knew what he was doing...

Except that he messed up every commit by either not sticking to the companies format or - what I found funny the first 2 times, then not so much anymore - just writing a git commit message like a 15 year old teenage girl would write to their diary.

Programming. Oh yeah. He should be a programmer.

He had much Bootcamp.

Bootcamp expensive. Bootcamp good.

If someone is unable to iterate over an iterator... And instead starts creating an integer based array of a map's key name to then fetch the map value in an for loop based on the created key array.

Yeah. Bootcamp much good.

Creating DTOs...

It took an hour to write a DTO with him... Cause constructors are hard and it's even harder when you have to explain primitive datatypes in Java, null safety, constructors, NPEs, final, ...

Like really no experience at all.

The next week's will be amazing.

Either I get a valium drop or I'm gonna blow my head off, cause mentoring will drain the last bit of hope I had left in me.

Note that I do not blame the recruit (yeah he's dumb. But he has ZERO work experience, so it's not unexpected), I'm just too fed up with getting the poo crown despite being against the whole process.

I think the recruit could make it..........

But that I got the shittiest job ever is really haunting me.

I dunno how I survive the next weeks.

And this is just the first recruit... There will be more.

Set up a personalized web front page for the news organization I worked for in the spring. Left it for the editorial staff to be tested and approved.

Didn't hear a word for almost a year when the PO asked for me to deploy it.

After a few days, the editorial staff started asking questions.

I really, really wonder what they did all those months before release...

Me - "Designs and creates a new staff page for work"

Result - "everyone at work loves it"

Me - "I feel really accomplished"

Co-worker - "I'm gonna use this design, that you made, for my interviews for jobs and say I made it"

Me - "wtf"

- Pigs flying
- Rats singing opera
- Donald Tump not being a bigot
- Our remote office staff having a clue

... all things I have accepted that are impossible

Something that I absolutely hate about the IT industry:

When a feature is deployed the chain is like this:

Dev -> Testers -> QA -> Product Manager -> End User

But when things break in production and management wants to yell at the staff... only the devs get the heat and no one else, as if they weren't responsible for anything at all.

Really fucking hate it.

Staff meetings would be more tolerable if they started off with karaoke.

"Dude, the earnings were cool and all but, man, you sure carried that note during 'Come Sail Away. '"

You shitty brat, if my HR staff didn't call you, they didn't call you. Still don't understand? Ok, simpler explanation. Because THEY DO NOT WANT YOU.

Just because we know each other doesn't mean you will get hired at my work. And you are not even a developer, you are a freaking sales man. Why the heck do you keep asking me about it?

That member of staff* that decided to write a batch script with calls to SVN, and named it svn.bat

*me

This week we had a live production issue that our staff were catching/fixing on the fly. We're a relatively small software team without any direct external customers, so this is not too unusual.

Unfortunately, the person in charge of dealing with these issues didn't resolve it during the work week, so we were stuck with it over the weekend. Said responsible employee left at 2:30 on Friday without figuring out how we'd deal with the problem without any staff in the office to intercept problem cases. Better yet, he drove all the way back, and was there from 3:30 to 4 and promptly left again without telling the rest of the team what was going on with the production issue. We asked how it happened, what it was, etc, but didn't focus on his fix (in hindsight, a mistake).

Since it's his job, I assumed that he would let us know what was up before he left on Friday. It turns out that he never addressed the production issue at all and just decided to leave.

A junior developer and I spent two hours contacting management (who, at this time are already at home with their families) to get clearance to either shut the system off or fix it. No one wants to give it and no one that's high enough up to approve the decision is available.

In the end, we asked the weekend mechanical support team (some friends of mine) to monitor the issue and they kindly accepted.

All of this could have been avoided if my coworker had either told us his plan earlier (so we could ask about the lack of coverage), gotten approval to shut it down for the weekend, or covered his own ass before he left for the day.

Ugggh. I get that we all make mistakes, but I really hope this guy shapes up soon.

"Dear Windows staff,

To think a fatal error screen can be shown beautifully is likeable.
To add in a QR code to be redirected to some assistance is likeable.
But like things that are likeable, THEY DON'T NEED TO BE REGULARLY SHOVED TO THE FACE !

Sincerest regards,
One who desperately wants to shutdown Windows Update once and for all.

Best: chief university lab position, 12 yrs as a 👨‍🏫 system engineer teacher, really need a break, updating me as a pro.

Worst: last chief just left email with CISCO passwords. No F* VLANS reference, no technical manual, deleted all Sh* documents on PC.

So I about 4 days no internet on university, reseted 25+ CISCO switches, reorganizing fibers, all week 💤 6am-11pm or more. VTP server core nice and clean, nice VLans, ClearOS formated an licensed, ubnt portal for Wifi.

December, organizing all the administrative stuff. We are back stable and documenting. Moving and painting office, delegation of staff.

Now in vacations with a “tepache 🍻 “ 🍍

Sitting super hot and extremely loud marketing girls next to your entire developer staff is a good way to decrease productivity. not to mention how extremely annoying they can be at times. ugh!!

Fuck corporate proxies. Fuck having to debug them, fuck figuring out how to use them with every piece of software you need, fuck failed builds due to some repository surprisingly being blocked for unknown reason and, most of all, fuck IT staff who deny there was a problem once it mysteriously disappears.

It took AWS about a month to figure out why their load balancer was screwing up content length for requests from our site. Multiple times the ticket was closed due to inactivity because they took so long to investigate. Turns out there's a bug with how AWS load balancers scale, and when they are below a certain traffic threshold they truncate extremely long content. Their solution was to edit the balancer behind the scenes to always be scaled up, and then tell us to never delete it.

So then every time we needed to set up a staging environment we had to contact support so they'd edit the balancer. Which always took ages since most of the support agents didn't understand the convoluted issue and had to forward it on to more technically inclined staff, who then had to investigate fresh every time.

This was ridiculously annoying, so I spent months writing an automated solution to spin up staging new environments on the spot, this made use of a haproxy server which had to edit rules on the fly so that the AWS balancer could be circumnavigated. It was a better system then the old way anyway, but all the same an irritating issue to be forced to deal with.

All around a very shitty experience. This was a few years ago now and I'm not employed there any more, but I hope AWS fixed this since then.

Internal system sent me an email with a dead link, saying a certificate is due to expire. Couldn't find the tool, opened IM with help support and was greeted with a passive aggressive note:

"Did you know that the support staff you speak too will use the same website available to you to resolve the issue, have you tried searching here ..."

... well thank you chat bot, did you know I wouldn't be here if said website actually fucking worked?

so current elon - Twitter situation is like this:

EM - i will buy this company for 44B

Twitter: what!? 44B for this crap? our ESOPs will make us millionaires! sure , go ahead.

EM - Sike!! i was kidding. no deal

Twitter - NO BACKSIES!!! *sues*

EM - ugh, okay. i will buy this company, but i want full ROI in next 5 years + 50% of you are fired

Twitter - Whaaa!!!

----
i guess some disaster was expected from this takeover and twitter mgmt throwed themselves on the axe on their own.

but it's wierd why every CEO change comes with an immediate firing of staff

Official documentation that's out of date. And still being linked to by staff....

COUGHUNITYCOUGH

Best: Realising I can code and I actually do have the drive to pursue this career but need to make some changes to get there.

Worst: Also realising I'm very logic oriented and process driven and work in a company that would rather piss on exposed power mains over training their staff.

I've got staff, I've got staff
And they bill time and a half;
Now I only write the gist you see
And they can code the rest

Open source, Fraying nerves
Smoothing out regression curves;
Try this framework, it's ambitious
It was made of spit and wishes.

Coffee rings, at first glance
But of course miss, he's freelance;
And this code base is a truly scary mess
I can't expand the menu
Even chance its home brew, unit test;
Unit test, unit test!

Worst collab was in bootcamp. Group projects always suck because there’s always someone not pulling their weight. In my case it felt like everyone was terrible. My only regret was not putting a specific person on my “don’t want to collab” list when groups were being assigned. That probably would have saved me from so much stress.

One person in my group didn’t know how to start up the project…two weeks into us working on it. She even had the privilege of having an outside mentor. Mentor didn’t know how to work the project either—but let’s be real, that’s not the mentor’s responsibility. She forgot she needed to run npm install. We were six months into this bootcamp and she forgot one of the simplest commands.

Another person was just a follower and couldn’t think for himself. He was so faithful to another teammate’s choices and direction that I wondered if they were screwing each other. Other teammate could be absolutely (and destructively) wrong and he would defend her as “well she’s taking initiative and showing leadership.” It wasn’t leadership, it was bullying. They weren’t dating/screwing, but I did suspect he liked to be controlled/dominated by “strong”women.

The “strong” woman teammate is someone I suspect of being the spawn of Satan. You were only useful to her if you agreed with her or could help her. If you gave her any sort of pushback, she’d turn on you. I think she wanted me to be both her parent and her scapegoat for the sketchy things she wanted to do. She pulled a lot of bullshit and tried to blame everything on me. Seriously, she would invest a lot of time in stupid things like getting me to agree to use bitmoji for team pics; I just wanted to check with the bootcamp first because they might have an unwritten rule about using your real face for presentations so guests know who you are. I had to get the bootcamp staff to support me because she was out of control. She tried to say that I was sabotaging the group from day one. The staff explained to her how her story of me “sabotaging” the group doesn’t add up. She backed down a little but she’d still try to screw me over through the remainder of the project.

There was one dude who was alright. He was the keep your head down type. Spawn of Satan would be on his ass about being late to class and he’d just stare at her stoically. He was a husband and a dad so he was choosing how to expend his energy. I don’t like people being late either, but show some compassion and don’t snap at people.

If I saw these people again, I would not even pretend to be friends with most of them. Spawn of Satan especially: I’d take out my crucifix and send her back to hell.

I just love working with this other company!
Their projects are fucking complicated, but still doable, they entertain me

But most of all, the examples they make are just awesome!

Like now I'm developing a CRM for a small clinic and there was an issue like "what are notes for?"

Reply:
"The patient is showily homosexual, remember to ask for his HIV exams after his next visit"

Other examples:
Q: "what happens during the visit?"
A: "the patients comes in, the receptionist will hand over a tablet with some questions like how deep his asshole is, then proceeds to to doctor office and there he will be raped for 30m, during the rape the doctor will take note of how destroyed his anus is, and will proceed to prepare a therapy"

Q: "I see there's the requirement for attachments"
A: "yeah once they get into the doctor room, they will be asked stuff like feet pictures to let the doctors jerk off later at night, but also PDFs about exams or some kind of stuff like that"

Q: "Will the staff be able to notify one another about random shit?"
A: "They're 3 people in like 40 square meters, so they might as well just shout 'hey, I shit myself bc there's no more toilet paper', they're close enough to hear one another"

---
I'm sorry in advance if you feel offended by any part of this

I got news for you buddy. The cloud engineers at Amazon are way smarter and better than your idiot staff.

Just found a breach somewhere in the university's meal booking system, that exposes some good 60K records of students, professors and staff orders and payments.

It's just that I am behind this shitty web UI with 20 rows per page table as the only option.
Now how 1337 is that?

My manager during my internship in 2007 was very prone to screaming.
She took the position, because more senior staff than her didn't want it and she wanted to be in charge of them.
When people didn't deliver the results she wanted she would call them in the office, start yelling them and saying they were incompetent and demean them. And even though we were a small open office, she would send us messages through MSN Messenger (it was the it thing back then), to check on our progress or ask us to go to her office which was the room next to us.
I met many wonderful people during my internship, but I was more than glad when it finished. A couple of years later I've learnt that the branch she was managing was terminated because everyone slowly started quitting. I can't imagine why...

So apparently, all IT staff of #ryanair is banned from remote work. Some of them are in Madrid, Spain. I heard a lot about their workplace and how "employee friendly" ther are. But to make "equality" excuse for staying in office cause pilots cant work from home...

The company I work for now has so much tech debt. When I find an issue, I can’t necessarily fix it right away because I have other priorities. If something isn’t a site-breaking issue, then I only fix it when a user or staff member reports it.

The website is a mess because it was built and maintained by an outside dev agency. It was so expensive to outsource that my employer decided to bring development in-house.

That’s where I came in. I found so many issues. Tech debt. UX weirdness. Newish features that no one seemed to use. It goes on.

So I’m balancing new feature development, fixing bugs, and trying to lessen our tech debt. I’m a team of one.

Everything is working, including the damn ml model. But I assume, considering the amount of restlessness and anxiety I'm feeling, that I will look like a scared hamster or trash panda while presenting it.

(Presenting to internal staff. But still)

Does anyone have experience in turning a website idea into a working business? I had a website idea so me and friend decided to make it happen. So far the development is going well, but we don't really know what's next after we're done. Does anyone know any resources regarding what's next? However to reach audience, investors and staff like that?

Through my previous employer's complete incompetence and lack of a spine I had to work two days during my last holiday. He'd managed to approve time off for all three of the remaining staff at the same time, so as a compromise, our six day work week was covered by all of us for two days a piece. Sooo maybe not technically not coding on holiday?

The business could just about scrape by on one staff member, so the boss should've allowed the holidays to those who requested it first (myself and one other), but that would've caused problems with the third person who he just so happened to be related to.

I was made redundant a few months later. The company is in the a lot of trouble and on its last legs, but the one member of staff who kept their job was the least capable and, surprise surprise, the relative.

Realising that my skills were stagnating and there was no opportunity to improve them or grow my career.

After 5 years in the same job (longest I've held) I started looking for a new one.

I'm now in a new job, doing much better work (even if it's a little chaotic right now) with the potential for growth in the future.

Whilst I loved the old job in terms of the staff and the atmosphere, I now couldn't be happier I made the decision.

Even seniors make mistakes. In case you were ever doubting yourself - just remember that.

I just had a very senior level programmer on my staff add a function to a production system that issues an SQL UPDATE query without a WHERE clause. Fortunately, only the 1st entry succeeded and the rest failed due to "duplicate record" errors. Clearly he had intended to do a SELECT to check if an entry was present. If it was present, do an UPDATE, otherwise do an INSERT (think UPSERT - but done manually). However instead in the insert part they were both UPDATE's. The first update was normal looking but the second UPDATE was just this weird malformed-looking thing where he tried to do an UPDATE but to every field including the key fields. Clearly he was thinking about an insert but actually writing it as an update. Every now and then I need to remind myself that these things happen. The guy's not dumb - just made a mistake.

I'm just happy it "failed unsuccessfully".

Do you say to police officers "Please stop me if I'm breaking any laws"?
Do you say to traffic wardens "Please fine me if I'm parked illegally"?
Do you say to rental agents "Please reject my application if I don't meet the requirements"?
Do you say to Restauranteurs "Please turn me away if I don't have a reservation"?
Do you say to Airport staff "Please confiscate my item if it's prohibited"?

...

...then why would you say to a Facebook Group Admin "Please delete if not allowed"?

So at one point I worked for an online clothes store and their frontend developers were treated like the sun shined from their backsides, never a problem.
But the backend staff were treated like consumables, their PHP developer turnaround was insane, they'd come up bizarre reasons to let people go including one person who was fired because he argued with a director because how the director wanted their new feature to be programmed was simply broken.

Has anyone seen anything else like this?

Was working on a system we planned on to deliver to a hospital
basically it was meant for controlling and monitoring pactions coming in and attendance time from the staff

Got it off the ground well and got to where the system was supposed to update room status
occupied/free then horror started
the db was not setting the room free after clearing a client off the list... room remained occupied and this kept on happening for 6 months and I was so focused on fixing the db models thinking thats where the problem was....

1 day after leaving the project for several months i just revisited the project randomly and started going through the whole code base trying to make sense of what was happening as there where no errors generated..
I had to verify the whole system logic... and that day i figured out what was happening...
upon adding a client to a room the system was also creating a duplicate room so when the function for setting the room free executes it would set the duplicate room free and not the actual room and the system would pick the room with occupied state causing the user not being able to assign new pactions to the room

Solving this brought so much relief coz it required so much work just to solve what seemed to be a minor issue

😡 When one of your hosting companies (inmotionhosting.com) decides to send you a we're going to freeze your service in 48 hours if you don't remove your site backups...

On a Friday...

The backups were made by their own support staff...

Time to move all properties to AWS! 👍

I really don't understand this particular Government Department's IT Unit. They have a system and network to maintain except:

- They don't have a DBA
- They don't have a dedicated Network Engineer or Security Staff
- Zero documentation on all of the systems that they are taking care of (its all in each assigned particular staff's brain they said)
- Unsure and untested way of restoring a backup into a system
- Server passwords are too simple and only one person was holding this whole time and its to an Administrator account. No individual user account.
- System was developed by an in-house developer who is now retired and left very little documentation on its usage but nothing on how its setup.

But, the system has been up and operational for the past 20 years and no major issues whatsoever with the users using it. I mean its a super simple system setup from the looks of it.

1 App Server connected to 1 DB Server, to serve 20-30 users. But it contains millions of records (2GB worth of data dump). I'm trying to swing to them to get me on a part time work to fix these gaps.

God save them for another 20 years.

enrolled in a maaters of CS with a concentration in A I and it has all been bullshit. poorly made lectures, retarded lecturers, unwilling to help staff and just overall shit experience. Thinking about switching concentration before they ruin any hope i have for A.I before it becomes too late. legit considering if i need the mcs for anything else than job prospects for which i already have a really good paying job for which it is virtually impossible to get rid of me(i hold the entire department) man........ really want to drop out

Just as an extension of last rant to explain how much fun it is to keep up with Apple's security through obscurity bullshit.
AFAIK this full disk access (FDA) feature was touted to protect a user's data on macOS. Programs that want to access those files need to request the user's permissions to do so. Now to the fun part: Apple is not providing any API. A staff member suggested, that you should only try to access the files your app needs and if you can't as for the user's allowance. One should not use some fixed files and try to access them, because their locations might change, as well as their (UNIX file) access rights (ACL), or if they fall under FDA. Not to speak about the other security features that might hinder you accessing files (you might be sandboxed, or the files might be subject to SIP/rootless).
Honestly, you should be starting to take drugs, if you want to stay sane. I mean UNIX ACL are weird enough: e.g. you can make a directory only readable for root such that a user cannot list the files inside, but you can place files inside that the user can read (if she knows about their existence). On macOS you'll never know. You may have all the rights to access a file,.. but Apple will only give you the finger.
As they always do to us developers.

Worst mistake I have made is accidentally wiping a database table by messing up a SQL script. This was caught after it had been deployed to around 30 customer sites, most of which had no technical staff on site, and we didn't have remote access to. I bought our support team cookies for fixing that one.

Me: Ok, this sounds like a good idea, however we need to consult the Act to ensure we're not breaking any laws by requesting this new information and making it mandatory.

Boss: I am trying to ensure good database management and data design principles, why can't you just agree with me?

Me:... I agree with you... But changing up the process like this may put us in hot water, let's just check to ensure we're good on the legal front --

Boss: The law is just a guide. My primary concern and your concern should be the design of this database and ensuring we stick to good data management principles!

Me and other technical staff: 👀

Nothing makes me cringe more than seeing other staff 'organise' files/folders in an manner outside our convention.

Facebook owner Meta Platforms, 2,564 job cuts in Menlo Park, San Francisco, Fremont, Sunnyvale and Burlingame
Google, 1,608 layoffs in Mountain View, Moffett Field, San Bruno and Palo Alto
Salesforce, 1,151 staff cutbacks in San Francisco
Twitter, 900 layoffs in San Francisco and San Jose
Cisco Systems, 673 job cuts in San Jose, Milpitas and San Francisco
Grocery Delivery E-Services (HelloFresh), 611 layoffs in Richmond
Amazon, 524 staffing cuts in Sunnyvale and San Francisco
Intel, 490 job cuts in Santa Clara and San Jose
Rivian Automotive, 448 layoffs in Palo Alto
Lam Research, 400 staffing cuts in Fremont and Livermore

I'm part of the key staff insurance now. My position as a cto is insured. I feel dirty now.

I have had a meeting with "CTO" of pretty big factory. I was suppose to propose a new cloud solution for existing Sharepoint application. Unfortunately we didn't get into any agreement , because the dude only accepts SharePoint solutions and when I started talking about the cloud, he literally went nuts. He later have told me that he has been working here for over 20 years. The technical staff of that factory is just him and some other young guy and they only task they doing is to maintain complex Sharepoint infrastructure. If we hosted application in the cloud, he would lost his job.

Some staff couldn’t access some admin pages and they thought it was a permissions error. Um, no. Chrome is showing you an “aw snap” error page, which means it’s a problem with the site and not your access. The pages are querying too much data and it’s causing an operation timeout. It’s been like this for months but no one reported it. Did they not need to use these pages at all for these past months? Non technical people keep doings things that make me want to smack my head against my desk. FTR these issues existed before I started.

We were in the process of signing up an enterprise company. We sent them a spreadsheet requesting a list of all of their staff so that we can create user accounts for all of them. That dumb shit at the company printed out the spreadsheet and then filled out the printouts using her pen and then took a photograph of it and emailed it back to us.

A Twitter API issue is allowing people to (once again) bootloop iPhones and iPads with the text parser. This was just submitted to Twitter's staff, I don't see anyone talking about it yet. Disable notifications or uninstall and use the mobile site.

Four years without taking a vacation...

Staff shortage at prevous employer

Is it just me or everytime I look up a question and I land on Microsoft Q&A site, theres never any accepted answers?

Rather you get, this thread is closed after all these non helpful answers from staff

More tales from University Tech Support:

Haven't been able to get ahold of this staff member for weeks to do required maintenance. Emails, VMs, surprise office visits, she's never anywhere to be found.

Finally my boss emails her with the subject line "Free Money", and gives her some sass in the email about calling IT back.

Yeah, she responded in minutes...

why is it everybody wants to hire a head of a department all the time

like that's just super weird to me

wouldn't it make more sense to hire someone into a lower position, have them learn from head of a department, then get promoted because you know they'll head the department to your standards then?

but most posts want you to already be head of a department... and it's like, I don't know your department. what the hell happened to the last head of department? why do so many people need heads of department? why the hell are they choosing to get them from outside the company?

somehow none of this makes any sense to me
like I'm literally just so confused why people hire seniors and expect them to automatically know the way the company does things
it just literally doesn't make sense

promote your underlings? then hire more underlings to sus them out?
WHY ARE YOU HIRING SENIOR STAFF FROM OUTSIDE YOUR COMPANY, LITERALLY NOBODIES, AND GIVING THEM TONS OF AUTONOMY AND CONTROL OVER OTHERS IN YOUR COMPANY, THATS SO CONFUSING

worse yet I hear most people just lie when they apply so it's like... are you rotating irresponsible lying people through senior positions at your company over and over again, as they attrition your underlings and eventually get fired for incompetence?

WHAT IS THE STATE OF THIS ECOSYSTEM

I already got my stickers of devRant. I have to say I was thinking that they would pay their own staff for posting photos with stickers, but no!. It's true, they send them haha. Thank you so much for this, it's of very good quality! devRants team it's awesome! :)

My university had its half-abandoned tenth floor reserved for fringe scientists. To deter onlookers from going there, the only elevator was locked out, reserved only for uni staff.
As long as you didn’t make drugs there, you were fine. It was dusty, smelled of mold and was full of old Soviet gear. Outdated, sure, but better than nothing.
If you were a student preoccupied with some fringe theory, it was a safe space for you.

When I say I'm in "DevOps" what I really mean is that I'm a full-stack engineer, DBA, system administrator, security engineer, auditor, cloud custodian, cost optimization expert, and everything else that doesn't get its own dedicated staff member here. Pretty much the catch all between developers and customer.

So my office tends to have seating rearrangements every few months due to the amount of people increasing in the company. In the 1 year that we moved to this office, I have been lucky to not have moved seats drastically.

Today though my team got moved to a new area. The previous area was already pretty small, the new area is even smaller where dual monitors JUST fit on the desk. With more people being hired by the month, there's going to be no more room again. I really wish the company would look at just hiring actual talented staff rather than hiring just to meet demands. Again, it's all about quality, not quantity!!

Used to work salary and in-house for client but now do freelance for them ‘cause ‘rona.

Adobe CC and Font Suitcase licenses are due for renewal and they want to cancel them for all but essential in-house senior staff.

I tell them I have both at home, on my own dime, but I need their font folder to be able to use them.

So I have 12,000 fonts now.

I think some managers would be happier if there was no leave allowance for staff in their contracts. Every single time I apply for a day it's like pulling teeth with this guy. When 3 years of vacation leave backs up and I *have* to take all at once then it's a problem too. Tf is it with some people?

1. Finish my damn game engine.
2. Get my own company up and running with actual staff and funds.
3. Finish the game a friend and I are working on using said engine.
4. Getting out of this fucking job since I’ll have my own company to deal with.

In PC World yesterday after reserving an item online for "Collection within minutes". Took about 20 mins to get there.

Went to the collection desk and gave them my reservation number. Staff member (very friendly and nice) went to go get it. Waited 10 mins for them to come back and say "I'm having trouble finding it...".

I said thanks anyway then went next door to maplin to get what I needed.

Just annoyed they promise a collection in minutes service and the item doesn't even exist in the store.

Maybe as they don't specify the minutes it's actually ready to collect in a million minutes.

We have a CMS that’s supposed to be simple to use so non-technical staff can make some webpages. A lot of it doesn’t require much brain work. Just duplicate a page and swap out text and images. But they keep forgetting how to log in to the website even though I shared written instructions on how to log in.

Recently, I told the Head of Engineering Manager that we should retire the CMS because it’s not intuitive to use and it doesn’t get used a lot. There used to be one dude who did it, but he left. So employee turnover plus no one using it a lot means folks don’t learn or forget. And they end up coming to Engineering for help with swapping out text and images.

I have to meet with a staff member who is generally good at her job but has become increasingly disrespectful and resistant to any direction. Her attitude makes it difficult for me to work with her, but every time I talk to her about anything she is so unpleasant about it and afterwards it is almost the silent treatment. Do you have suggestions for me as her manager to address the attitude without making the whole situation even more unpleasant?

I know I can’t make her respect me, but is there a way that discussing her disrespectful attitude will result in a better attitude and not just make the problem worse?

I don't think anyone said it yet so I'll have to choose osu!. It's a rhythm game and now it is being remade as open source. It also uses a open source game engine dedicated to rythm games. The osu staff is great and the main dev (peppy) streams on twitch while making the game sometimes.

It's a great project and I hope I can contribute some day.