I got attacked by ransomware and was asked for money...

I sent them my salary slip..They removed it from my computer immediately..

I wanna cry.

No Social Life, No Cry.

My employer bought some new 40" 4k displays to the office. The want us to evaluate if they are any good, and if so replace all monitors... No real developers has one, only HR people sitting there with one huge window with office or word open!! It makes me cry! And they will most likely say they are too big!

When everyone left the office I tried one... OMG, i need this in my life! 😍

I think CS education is getting weaker and weaker every year.
Since they released CS GO, CS seems to be overtaken by little cry kiddies who put out insults like an AK on speed.
I wish CS education was like when CS 1.6 came out.
Those were great years to learn gungames on The Simpsons maps and you were actually able to land headshots by skill and not just utter luck.

Linux is love...

My new wallpaper 😂🙌

How to remove WannaCry: Russian edition

After an hour of debugging, realised that I wrote =+ instead of +=.

I will just to go in a corner and cry for a minute. brb guys.

My girlfriend stole my fucking devrant sweater.

#wannaCry :
*US engineers trying to find antivirus.
*Europe engineers finding preventing tools
*Meanwhile Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented anitvirus for wannyCry"

Meanwhile. .
Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"

*tries not to cry*
*cries a lot*

Why drink and drive when you can code and cry?

I used to think I was gonna be a Steve Jobs or a Bill Gates. Now I just fap and cry.

Far Cry 4. I have an "undefined" and I'm not afraid to use it!

Hear the out cry

Python is going to die

I laugh and cry at the truth of this.

Me: "Ahh yes finally done making this big module that does X, took me 2 weeks but its done!"
Coworker: "You know there's a plugin that does X right?"
Me: "Just go..."
Coworker: "Ohh and it also does Y which makes X easier if you have to do Z"
Me: "GET OUT OF HERE I NEED TO CRY"

An average day:

1. Start working on feature
2. Finish feature
3. Feature doesn't work
4. Spend 7 hours refactoring and fixing imaginary bugs
5. Add the 3 characters that were missing
6. Laugh and cry, laugh and cry...

- Everything works 10 minutes before presentation
- Nothing works on presentation
- Cry myself in toilet after presentation

Observed my bf spending at least a half hour browsing devRant in bed, so asked him what he'd do if devRant didn't exist anymore.

His simple reply?

"Cry"

May God help him tomorrow for the scheduled downtime... ;)

Don't cry.
Cry, cry a lot.

Sleep❌
Coffee❌
Bugs✅
Fixed bugs✅
More bugs✅
Curse bugs✅✅✅✅
Fixed bugs✅
Commit✅
Cry✅✅
18 hours✅
Heading home for sleep ❕

My first boss. He sat next to me yelling “Think before you code“, “Hands away from the keyboard“ and stuff like that at me while doing my first few codings ever. He even made me cry from the pressure. Afterwards he bought me a muffin and told me he wants me to be a better programmer than he ever was

1. Have idea
2. Write down features that thing should have
3. Make a wireframe design
4. Write down possible names for it
5. Open GitHub-Repo
6. Never start coding it
7. Cry

LOL Do you remember this virus

When you're trying to explain a concept as simple as it can be to your non-dev family and friends, but they're just quietly staring at you.

Bought a second hand coffee machine and went to get it by bike.

Put it in the back and drove home. It fell off somehow like a hundred meters before arriving home and its leaking now.

😭😞

This makes me cry and laugh at the same time

This is how my day has gone so far:
1. In car, see advert about hackathon
2. Look it up, see tickets go on sale in 30mins
3. Read more about hackathon, apparently tickets go within minutes
4. Get tickets, print
5. Printer out of ink
6. Accidentally deleted ticket, can't reprint
7. No more tickets left so can't get another
8. Spend hours with data recovery tools
9. Remember recycle bin. Reprint ticket
10. Cry
11. Rant on devRant

Testing in production??

Don't know whether to laugh or cry!!😂😥

> Be me
> Be on 24-hour emergency service
> Post rant about stuff breaking during said service
> Forget to turn off notifications
> Get awoken in the middle of the night by phone
> Think shit is going down
> View message
> People are liking my rant
> Try not to cry

"Your app is like an onion. The more you peel back, the more it makes you want to cry"

My wife asked me to clean, cook and watch the child.
When she returned home she started screaming hysterically and cry.
Who understands women...

When u get to know u need 300 ++ to get a stress ball

Rashly say to a web developer colleague that you'd quite like to learn to code. Feel too awkward to decline the subsequent invitation. Meet for coffee, discuss basics. Understand nothing. Go home and Google extensively. Start trying code out at home. Cry. Swear. Make a thing that does a thing. Try to make another thing. Fail. Give up. Try again. Start an online tutorial. Work through said online tutorial. Start contributing on Github. Discuss Laravel. Play with Laravel. Set out your own Laravel project. Get engaged to the colleague who said they'd teach you. Get sent a technical test. Stare at the test blankly for days on end. Have an idea. Try to implement the idea. Cry some more, swear some more. Enjoy it. Get hooked. Hate it. Enjoy it. Finish it. Stare at the screen in amazement and wonder what has gone wrong because you are getting the result you were expecting. Rinse, repeat.

HBO, the network that owns Game of Thrones, one of the highest grossing and most popular shows, still use Flash for their web streaming service.

I cry in dothraki

1. Find bug
2. Try 3 methods of fixing
3. All fail
4. Tell yourself you're trying for the LAST time then you'll go on to something else
5. End up trying 5 more times
6. Repeat step 4 20 times
7. Cry
8. Finally take a break
9. Return next day, try another method, it works instantly

FML!

Don’t you just love it when you do the following in a prod database 😅

UPDATE table SET someImportantField= NULL; WHERE abc = 123;

If I don’t laugh right now I’m going to cry.

My teacher was presenting and her pp crashed. She just continued with her presentation but her desktop was showing. I instantly noticed she had a "stickynote" with her login details for our grading system and I tried telling her to put her laptop to sleep or anything but she got mad at me for interupting class and threw me out of class. My revenge will be showing admins the picture of her desktop ;)

->Be me
-> Learns computer science
-> Be like above average in class
->"Let's take this to the next level"
->Joins hacker rank
->does the beginners problems.
->hmm that was easy af
->Checks the "easy" problems
->Go to a corner & cry. ;__;

Not just developers but this pisses me right off.....

Guy gets upset... Slams pen on his pad... Has to go and have a half hour discussion about his 'attitude'

Girl gets upset... Starts crying... Everyone else has to get lectured about what made her cry.

Both emotional outbursts but apparently one is ok and one isn't.

*For the record no pens or pads were harmed while 'researching' this rant

> be me
> install linux on encrypted drive
> takes 8 hours to fill the drive with fake data so theres no chance of data leakage
> save encryption password to phone
> phone doesnt actually save password
> realize you dont have access to pc anymore
> cry
> reinstall linux

Because we all have that code that never made it...

Senior Devs made the Program Manager cry. Dev Lead did nothing to stop it from happening, Program Manager Lead was in shock.

!rant
!!success

Finally, my project is done!

(and apart from UI/UX polish and some rewording by marketing, everything is finished! Wooo!)

Now for the fun part of the project... 😭

Why Apple?

Configuring my new MacBook Pro
• jre ✓
• jdk ✓
• Android studio ....
• let's see what we get when we type "git" in Terminal.. surprise!!! You have to download Xcode which is 5.30GB. Goodness. Can I cry now? 😭😭😭

I am terribly triggered.

Somebody please lift my mood.

Music helps me everytime but it won't help today.

I can't even cry it out as I am at work.

Please help.

Everyone says "Happy Coding!".
No one says "Cry Debugging!"

"I think I need to reinstall my python on ubuntu"

* proceeds to remove python
* ubuntu breaks
* tries to fix ubuntu
* ubuntu no longer goes to desktop
* cries
* tries not to cry
* cries a lot

Yeah moral of the story is never uninstall python (at least for ubuntu, idk other linux distros)

My team was sharing an API key to our company's microservice containing all our customer data.

I say "was" because one team member accidentally published the key online so the security team disabled our key and won't give us a new one.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry

How to from hapiness 100 to 0 in seven simple steps:
1. Buy a new 2018 gaming laptop..
2. Install Linux on it for work..
3. Figure out your touchpad is not supported even by latest kernel rc..
4. Spend four days going through forums, bugzillas and overflows while messing around with recompiling kernel, drivers, configs and 3rd party libraries..
5. Lie down and pray someone will add support for your device in kernel in near future..
6. Try not to cry..
7. Cry, cry a lot..

I live outside USA
Whenever I see someone posting
something like -
"My devRant stickers arrived!! Wooho see my devRant t-shirts ... "
That's the face I make

*Tries not to cry
Cries a lot

Over hearing the boss say "Yeah we have someone who knows Python. It's all he does."

I do not know Python.

I really dont get it when people cry over "when sending password in emails".

Had a customer today that wants us to send credentials on WhatsApp instead because it is "secure" instead of email, because email is insecure... .

Christmas song for UNIX hackers:

better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus < north pole > town

cat /etc/passed > list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice > giftlist
santa claus < north pole > town

who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'
for (goodness sake) {
be good
}

(By Frank Carey, AT&T Bell Laboratories, 1985 )

5 hours on the call. No end in sight. Nothing in logs, errors, or captures. Want to cry.

My Typical Project

1. Identify common problem
2. Investigate options
3. Come up with clever solution
4. Implement backend solution
5. Get fed up with current frontend
6. Investigate other frontend
7. Realize perpetual chaos in Javascript landscape
8. Lie down in a corner
9. Cry myself to sleep

Coming back to the office after being down with sickness for 3 days. Apparently the two other People on the project doesn't talk together, only when im the middle man making sure they talk, and we got a big test on Monday.....

I cry every tiem ;_;

"Hey I am a programmer too! I can code anything, I bet I'm better than you!"
-
"Huh, that sounds cool! What languages do you like to write your programs in?"
-
............ "English"

🤦🏻‍♂🤦🏻‍♂
True story by the way, some guy I just met did this. I was not sure how to react. Should I laugh? Should I cry? Should I kill myself? Should I kill him?

*Starts compile*
...
...
can't find function foo
ld exited with status code 1

*confused*
*Reruns qmake*
*Compiles again*
...
...
can't find function foo
ld exited with status code 1

*very confused*
*switches compilers*
*compiles*
...
...
Worked!

*dafuq*
*switches back to the first compiler*
*compiles*
...
...
Worked!

*tries not to cry*

I just spoke to somebody who said she has learnt jQuery and javascript is next on her list of things to learn.

It makes me want to cry.

I was checking an Arduino sketch I wrote in a hurry 2 years ago. I want to cry for the number of shit I've found there 😓
Picture + I had put as int variables that should have been boolean. I needed them for 0 and 1. As well as with no comments and no explicative names.

>Have 64gb memeory stick with software and precious memories (back ups of childhood pictures and stuff)
>Go to girlfriend's house
>Let her borrow it because she needed it for photography (pictures in the TrueCrypt file take only about a quarter of the drive)
>Get dumped by girlfriend after a while
>Shrug and be a little sad
>Find out that i dont have a local copy of what was there
>Don't have courage to ask for it back or even speak to her
>Cry because of now gone data
>Cry because no back ups.

Moral of the story is dont fuck with your back up and also, don't give people precious data, even the ones you trust at the time.

Just typed a 2000 word passionate story about AI and the app refreshed itself before I managed to post it. I wanna cry :(:(:(

Sigh, I'll try again.

Your git commit history on your personal branch when you're freaking out and cry tears in joy because the code you spent the whole previous week on to somehow get it to work suddenly DOES work.

Heard a new euphemism today for interruptions: “spontaneous collaboration”
Laugh or cry...

Or maybe I could build a C compiler and be responsible for ";" !
Making programmers cry and scream.

Today at work while reading legacy code:

do {
...
} while(false)

Wanna cry and laugh at the same time

Me when I started learning C++: "C++ is fun"

2 days later: "C++ makes me want to sit in a corner and cry."

About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.

Motherfucking Microsoft piece of shit. Next time I hear someone talk anything other than trash about Windows 10 I'm gonna bash his head in. Over one week of rendering gone because the Microsoft motherfuckers decided that they can restart whenever they want. Installing wanna cry is less destructive than this virus sold as an operating system. People liking this Win10 shit must be really REALLY fucking stupid. Fuck you

What a fucking day!
So some many years ago, we placed a small and useful piece of code into a MySQL Query, which prefixes the order ids with a string and returns the value.

Basically

SELECT
CONCAT(“ORDER_PREFIX”, LPAD(order.id,5,’0’) AS order_reference

Now many years ago when this was a simple solution to a system that wasn’t expected to be running today, all went well, except today.... today that fucking line exceeded 5 digits
😓😍😓

I don’t know if I should be ashamed, or happy right now, a totally unfuture proof query that just rolled that little too far, or the fact that I’ve watch 100k orders role through this system.

Now for the clean up crew to do their job.... oh 🙁 that’s me too.

Now this doesn’t affect the order ids... so that’s something but external systems rely on that guy 😭

Configuring a Windows XP virtual machine to infect it with the famous WannaCry (I have downloaded the .exe from MEGA). I want to see if wannakey works also. But I agree with "Try the easiest Windows (R) yet.". It's the fastest yet too!

I want to cry.

I think I want to fucking cry...
Continuing on my previous rants, for the final exam I may or may not have to use Dev-C++ as IDE. Took a look at cplusplus.com, at an article from *2011*:
"Dev-C++ hasn't been updated since 2005."
I fucking swear, someone needs to nuke that school...

Hey guys,

this rant will be long again. I'm sorry for any grammar errors or something like that, english isn't my native language. Furthermore I'm actually very sad and not in a good mood.

Why? What happened? Some of you may already know - I'm doing my apprenticeship / education in a smal company.
There I'm learning a lot, I'm developing awesome features directly for the clients, experience of which other in my age (I'm only 19 years old) can only dream.
Working in such a small company is very exhausting, but I love my job, I love programming. I turned my hobby into a profession and I'm very proud of it.
But then there are moments like the last time, when I had to present something for a client - the first presentation was good, the last was a disaster, nothing worked - but I learned from it.

But this time everything is worse than bad - I mean really, really worse than bad.

I've worked the whole week on a cool new feature - I've done everything that it works yesterday, that everything gets done before the deadline of yesterday.

To achieve this I've coded thursday till 10pm ! At home! Friday I tested the whole day everything to ensure that everything is working properly. I fixed several bugs and then at the end of the day everything seems to be working. Even my boss said that it looks good and he thinks that the rollout to all clients will become good and without any issues.

But unfortunately deceived.

Yesterday evening I wrote a long mail to my boss - with a "manual". He was very proud and said that he is confident that everything will work fine. He trusts me completly.

Then, this morning I received a mail from him - nothing works anymore - all clients have issues, everything stays blank - because I've forgotten to ensure that the new feature (a plugin) and its functionality is supported by the device (needs a installation).
First - I was very shoked - but in the same moment I thought - one moment - you've written an if statement, if the plugin is installed - so why the fuck should it broken everything?!
I looked instant to the code via git. This has to be a very bad joke from my boss I thought. But then I saw the fucking bug - I've written:
if(plugin) { // do shit }
but it has to be if(typeof plugin !== 'undefined')

I fucked up everything - due to this fucking mistake. This little piece of shit I've forgotten on one single line fucked up everything. I'm sorry for this mode of expression but I thought - no this can not be true - it must be a bad bad nightmare.
I've tested this so long, every scenario, everything. Worked till the night so it gets finished. No one, no one from my classmates would ever think of working so long. But I did it, because I love my job. I've implemented a check to ensure that the plugin is installed - but implemented it wrong - exactly this line which caused all the errors should prevent exactly this - what an irony of fate.

I've instantly called my boss and apologized for this mistake. The mistake can't be undone. My boss now has to go to all clients to fix it. This will be very expensive...

Oh my goodnes, I just cried.
I'm only working about half a year in this company - they trust me so much - but I'm not perfect - I make mistakes - like everyone else. This time my boss didn't looked over my code, didn't review it, because he trusted me completly - now this happens. I think this destroyed the trust :( I'm so sad.
He only said that we will talk on monday, how we can prevent such things in the feature..
Oh guys, I don't know - I've fucked up everything, we were so overhelmed that everything would work :(
Now I'm the looser who fucked up - because not testing enough - even when I tested it for days, even at home - worked at home - till the night - for free, for nothing - voluntary.

This is the thanks for that.
Thousand good things - but one mistake and you're the little asshole. You - a 19 year old guy, which works since 6 months in a company. A boss which trusts you and don't look over your code. One line which should prevent crashing, crashed everything.

I'm sorry that this rant is so long, I just need to talk to you guys because I'm so sad. Again. This has happend to frequently lately.

Based on our local traditional calendar, it's my birthday today.

Since the time I gained enough conciousness ti handle myself, I have never celebrated it.

Life is dispair for me. Every step is a land mine and hence, I have no reason to celebrate my birth.

Failures and struggles is all I am surrounded by.

What more could go wrong, you ask?

The girl I have an intense crush on at work, today I learned she has a boyfriend.

What a birthday gift I received. 😂😂😂😂😂

Just totally devasted and destroyed within.

I want to cry. Cry my fucking heart. The emotional pain is unbearable.

But on the way to adulthood, I have lost the ability to cry.

I don't know what to do, whom to talk or where to go. I never been so numb.

I can only look forward to next chapter of life. More pain to come. Stay tuned. 😊

Sometimes I internally cry watching fellow devRanters ranting about so many awesome things. I wish I was a little smarter 😳

Made a colleague cry when I told him I'm leaving.

So much love...

Stare at the screen blankly, regretting your life choice to become a dev, cry, start researching mcdonalds job ads. Then end up spending 3 hours on devRant falling in love with programming again and then realising you have just wasted 3+ hours on a left out curly bracket...

Who's at fault for the recent Wanna Cry virus: The companies affected or Microsoft/NSA?

Personally, I think it's the companies affected. This is what happens when you try and be cheap when it comes to cyber security​.

Did someone noticed that IBM celebrated the International Programmer Day with HTML???
I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😂😭

Shit i have 25 classmates and only me and 4 other guys are coding and only i use Git. Fuck i think i will cry need to teach them a lot about real programming and devRant😥😥😥😥

Tip for implementing scrum in non-software development teams:

1. Cry

Awesome, first paying gig and I get to build a site for a local school system!

Superintendent and 3 network admins at the stakeholder meeting to approve the design?

Wait, you don't want the school colors, but ones from your favorite football team?

Seriously? Blinking police light line art bookending the alert block?

You.... Want my design as a Dreamweaver template?

I'm just going to go sit in a corner and cry now...

I have gotten so used to code with dark themes (I even made Devrant from standard light to dark theme) that everytime i see someone with a light themed text editor, my eyes cry a bit.

When nobody but dfox does a ++ for your rant <3 Dont know if I should cry or be super happy :D

I never touch my code if anyone else have made changes in them without asking me.

I cry like a bitch when I get home.

Fuck life, fuck this society and especially fuck my brain - waking me up at 6 AM and immediately making me burst into tears because bipolar... I mean come on! I can't even sleep anymore?! I know it's hard falling asleep but waking me up just to cry? ...why...

I picked up angularjs last week and I heard someone said 'angular is so 2015' and I think I'm going to cry now.

Last year the rewrite of an ancient system (VB6/mainframe COBOL) was started. Instead of moving to modern architecture management decided to rewrite the app's functionality into our last gen WinForms client/server arch. I set up a meeting to present alternatives and plead for some level of modernization. After presenting and asking management to plan for five to ten years in the future instead of just this year's budget my director said, "In five to ten years I'll be retired on a beach in Tahiti and this will be your problem to solve." It was the last straw and I left the company shortly after. Last week I found out the director was force retired out of the company. I sent her a congratulations slip and a cocktail umbrella with "Tahiti" written on it.

I'm writing a huge program of identity management from two months, taking data from different sources and edit them to comply with a lot of cases. Today, my boss told me that he changes idea and my code is now useless... I would cry.

Coders cry...

... when they inherit a project that's parsing HTML using regular expressions.

I dont know to laugh or cry

My greatest skill?
Not to explode when the client asks something so utterly stupid that I dont know whether I should cry or laugh. Maybe both?

Cassini made me cry.

I'm a guy and when the migraine hits me I feel like crying. Is it normal for a guy to cry, coz I'm not able to handle this pain.

Metaprogramming maybe easy to write but is so fucking hard to read and harder to maintain. Why do people even like these dynamic languages anyway :-/

*a very loud and miserable groan which may be cry for help*

I hate my life right now.

Step 1 - Start with socket.io in NodeJS to create chat extension for browsers
Step 2 - Let's authenticate the users
Step 3 - Cry

So we're making a desktop app using Electron and I got super excited when I ran the quick start thinking, "Wow, I'm actually going to develop a desktop app!"

But then the reality hit me that I'm still technically working with HTML and all and that I should be ashamed of calling myself a dev over this so how I'm cry-studying it's documentation while testing different stuff.

I fuckin love i3wm.
Especially on laptops. Not having to carry mouse around and being it so light, which saves you a lot of battery alongside with cpu/ram makes me wanna cry out of joy.

We're no strangers to code
You know the conventions and so do I
A full commit is what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other dev

I just want to tell you about my problem
Gotta make you solve it for me

Never gonna git you up, never pull you down
Never gonna rant around and rebase you
Never gonna merge your branch, never gonna say $#@*!!
Never gonna risk a cry and build you

JavaScript is the ugly girl freshman year with glasses and acne. Typescript is the beautiful women she became senior year and won prom queen. Hate on JavaScript all you want because it was a language written in 2 weeks but the new releases with es6 and now typescript are a far cry from the js people were written back in the day. The times they are a changing -Bob Dylan.

!rant

Need advice on coping with my father's passing . I was already very stressed out and had really bad focus. I feel lost now , I can't even cry the tears won't come out. Why can I cry for a stupid movie and not now...

#AndroidDev protip:
1. Dump Android Studio and use Sublime for a week
2. Realize you don't actually know how to write java anymore
3. Cry

```There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
```

I just finished building a feature only to realize that it won't work!

> Be me
> Work entire sem
> Save all data in one workdir
> Fcuk backup cuz it's not that much data
> Accidentally delete entire fucking working dir on a lazy night
> Cry for hours
> Try recovering data and tell others that it was an assignment and that it was done on purpose

worst message ever ...

try {
boolean isOk = meetTheGirl("Anna");
if (isOk) {
kiss();
goHomeAndProgram();
}
else {
cry();
goHomeAndProgram();
nextDay();
pickUpAGirl();
}
} catch (Exception e) {
//I don't know. My life is so empty
}

those times... ;-;

when you have to mantain "onion code" the code that makes you cry!

You can't help it, just lie down and cry.
Maybe you'll choke or drown on your tears and finally end the suffering...

that turned very dark for some very odd reason (sorry 😅)

FUCKING WINDOWS DECIDES TO UPDATE WHEN I HAVE 6 PROGRAMS OPEN AND NOT EVEN SAVED EVERYTHING.

10+ chrome tabs with research pages that are irrecoverable.

That when I leave for a couple of minutes to take a brake. I'm not even notified beforehand.

I'm fine tho which is nice. Gonna cry and sleep now to work hard again tomorrow.

Short story of a developer

0) Don't know how to do something
1) Search for hours on internet
2) Find only crappy codes
3) Try a crappy code
4) Realize that it works only for who created the code (What the hell...)
5) Cry
6) Ask on forums
7) Get downvote without any reason
8) Receive useless answer
9) Delete project

if (!isset($woman))
{
$cry = false;
}

Lay down
Try not to cry
Cry a lot

When you celebrate fixing a bug then you realise.. You didn't fix the bug, you just changed it!

I am very sad, my laptop is no more now. I want to cry 😭😭😭

> be me
> started using greentext on devrant a while ago
> semi successful rants
> people start using greentext too
> lookMomIDidIt.avi
> be happy
> no one knows I started it
> maybe it wasn't even me
> sit in shower
> try not to cry
> cry a lot

Shit. That's not a rant about coding

> fuck microsoft

The trick to balancing social and dev life life is training a deep learning algorithm to the point it gains sentience and the ability to feel real human emotions and becomes your best bud until it ultimately decides it would rather catalog images of mustard bottles.

f**king people asking to design admin panel colorfully with these f**king psd images, I was like literally crying inside, I have never seen such a damn f**king admin panel. f**k off managers

incorrect documentation is everyone's worst nightmare

I didn't write 1064 lines of tests so that you launch the script like a monkey without checking anything beforehand and cry because it throws tons of erros.

I'm honestly so happy and grateful to be in the world of web development. It's an amazing space to be in when you enjoy solving problems.

Consistently fast evolving and ever changing technologies means new and exciting problems are endless!

But I swear to all that is motherfucking holy, if I have to keep solving exactly the same problems over and over because the place I work at won't let me provide permanent solutions to old problems... I'm going. To. Lose. My. Freaking. Mind

when a client asks for FTP access and you don't know whether to cry or panic....

When you used hours to find an error, and then it dissapears after restarting Visual Studio.. Not sure if i should laugh or cry

Raise your hand if your ready for the GDPR on the 25th may.

Raise your glass if your getting shitfaced so you don't have to think about how many ways you're not.

Does anyone still have CD/DVD Drive on their computer?

Today I was going through some old stuff and found a 2 x DVD Drive. Those memories made me cry.

worst than having a bug with an error is having a bug without one..

protecting my computer from wannaCry be like .

Look at blank file...cry....go to sleep....wake up...repeat

What I say: I'm a computer science major.

What people hear: I can resolve any tech issue you have or will ever have on any machine that exists in this universe. I am jacked into the Matrix at all times. I am the IT god. Look upon me and despair.

What I mean: Sometimes I try to tell the computer to do something and I cry when it doesn't work.

Wow... Not sure where to post.. My wifi/internet speed is a joke in itself.. the kind that always makes me cry..

If you do this, please, don't have children.

P.D. count the number of *if*s

So ... Yeah ... I survived a week in my holiday apartment with no wifi...

Now to wait for that phone bill 😂 oh well

Sometimes I use "KillMe" or "FML" in my debugging strings as a silent cry against whatever-the-fuck has upset me.

Oh my fucking god people are stupid, or ignorant, or fucking both.

How hard is it to copy a password from an email and paste that fucker in and press login.
Seriously several times of “this is your email” and “THIS” is your god dam fucking password.
God kill me now.

(No the password isn’t stored in plaintext, I reset it myself before sending it to the user)

Working on my website. Ranting on positioning my background which uses CSS perspective and translateZ to move slowly when someone scrolls.

Can't figure out a way to make it not overflow the whole document for almost 3 days.

Out of frustration changed the position to fixed.

And the problem was gone :( :D :(

I have no idea if I should cry or laugh loudly

Printers drivers, am I right?

Code never lies,

Comments sometimes do... 🤔

Just had a technical phone interview that makes me want to cry.

I have just been put in my place and will crawl under rock now and cry.

bye bye world.

...cry.

We are at the end of the school year, at least in France.

This is my recap of this shitty year.

My school try to teach programming, and that’s just a try.

Some of the dudes do not event know what a variable was.

For a second year university diploma, they don’t teach OOP, no Git, no DP, no JS, no clean code or whatever.

So at the end of the year, you’ll be able to code in procedural, no versioning, spaghetti code and a big mess in folder structure, lack of interactivity because of poor JS knowledge.

Well a codebase which makes you crying blood, literally.

And that’s what a second year university diploma ...

Fortunately for the most curious there’s so much to learn out of the school but, damn, why are some schools so retarded ?
For almost 8k€/year you just receive a piece of paper and you’re still a shit in your *suppose to be* job.

Cry and panic because they don't know the required technology to complete the task.

(We all go through this. Some people just cannot contain their emotions though).

Surrender
Cry myself to sleep in the corner of my ofgice table and have a dream about how to solve all my issues
Wake up
Forget the solution
Repeat

Sometimes I just want to blame everyone in this group for their shitty code, but then I realize, that Im just the intern and only here for around 2 weeks ...

Instead I cry in silence.

This morning, i showed the communication manager how to use Photoshop (layer, image resize).

A year ago, I worked on the website, it has never been put online. The company's users never provided the content.

This afternoon, other people asked me where the site was, one year after!

I don't know whether to laugh of cry.

Ps : I'm sorry, my english level is low. I speak english as a cow speaks spanish.

I just got fired. I don't know if I should laugh or cry, I'm finally free from that slow, obscure, shitty 20+ old dated system, but man, it really sucks to be fired.

Debugging JS,

*uses chrome devtools*, breakpoints work, everything loads, can work on fixing bug

*uses firefox devtools*, takes more time than IE to show up, the UI doesn't show up, can cry in the corner.

Why is firefox debugger so bad :/

I just wanna cry right now :(

When you do a login encryption using AES, rot13, Base64, rot13...
AES Password is also encrypted using rot13, Base64, rot13.

AND SOMEHOW IT DOESNT WORK FOR EVERYONE.

I cry

I am officially told to make hacks to meet project deadline - oh by the way i will be supporting the application in production - should i smile or cry ?

I've never been in the work place environment of a development company. What happens when there is a bug no one can solve, do you all huddle together and cry?

Picked up an older project which is in prod for 2 years now. I got a DB error related to a null in an array.
Proceed to check the front end(angular 1.5). Ended up in a 3000 lines file😫
What's worse the array was processed by multiple functions including 'filter' and 'filter2'. Naming conventions ftw😂 I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😂

Have u heard about ear infarction?
Which makes one of your ears deaf?

Aaaah! I got one!
Tommorow must go to the doc then he injects inside my ear (hope it is less painful then i think)

Wish me luck ! Hope I can hear things as before soon

T minus 15 minutes to demo.. We all know this feeling too well..

Going around the building of a large mega corp telling all my internal customers their projects are going from "green" to "red" because I had a layoff meeting later that morning.
Ever see adults cry because their "favorite developer" was getting sacked and they would not see their project in time, or at worse, canceled?

Management has bequeathed that it shall hit prod tomorrow, the developers cry 'but it's not ready`. Hush little dev for tomorrow we hit another payment milestone

While(work){
Cry();
}

When you have to made a little game with javascript, and because it's your first game you made a beautiful maze with lot of wall.

Ahahah... i'm shit.
I forgot wall have collision.

I'm here now, with 40 different fuckin' walls and much if and else if conditions.

I hate me.

Yeah i know, I can just change my maze but no... I'm lazy. Cry against the collisions is better.

Have good day.

I don't need a relationship to be in an emotional rollercoaster.

Javascript makes me cry every day but it still is my favorite language

Started a new Factorio run.

Started implementing logic gates in it.

Started to think if I was half as OCD and productive in my code, I'd be an awesome developer.

Started to cry.

(for those of you who never heard of it, Factorio is the best building sim game ever)

Opened my PC today...found my local disk empty...170gigs of data lost...
Feel like crying...hope Recuva works

I see a lot of people on this weekly rant telling they go lunch, read a book, play guitar...

And then i look at me, working in an office, only being able to silently cry in front of the screen.

find happiness in everything

not to cry at lonely nights

spend good times with friends

bool showUpLateToWork=true;
bool rememberHeadPhones=false;
String DayOfWeek=Tuesday;
int hoursSpentOnPhoneLastNight=
int productivity = 100 - hoursSpentOnPhoneLastNight;
if(showUpLateToWork)
missStandup();
}
if(rememberHeadPhones)
Productivity +=10
Else
Productivity -=50;

While (hourOfDay(now()) <17)
{
drinkMntDew();
discussDataQualityIssuesWithBusiness();
lookThroughTonsOfPoorlyWrittenCodeForDefectThatBusinessWantsFixedYeasterday();
dieOnTheInside();
curseProjectTeamForPassingCrapCodeToMaintainaceTeam();
cry();
curseComputerApplicationsForNotResponding();
visitBathroomWhileLurkingDevrant();
}
goHome();
while (!asleep && hourOfDay(now()) > 17)
{
playWithPuppy();
qualityTimeWithMyWife();
pkayLeagueOfLegends();
netflixAndChill('litterally');
for (int i =1; i <=5; i++)
showLoveUsingLoveLanguage(i);
try
{
makeBaby();
} catch
{
learnPatience();
}
cuddle();
if(!wifeAwake)
checkDevrant()
}

1. Push a bug with a bug fix.
2. Fix the bug created during previous bug fix.
3. Push the bug fix which solves the bug created during previous bug fix.

Try not to cry...
Cry a lot 😭 😭

/**
* // sad truth to everyone focusing only on age++ part :) IN YOUR FACES!
*/
public void birthday() {
age++;
ttl--;
}

1 day ago my wife's father died, I'd like to do checkout on this repo called life, but we can't, I loved that man as my father, I have to be strong to keep my wife strong, I cry when I'm not in home. Code it's like my beer. Cheers!

Definitely when my boss got me super hyped up that we were gonna start using MongoDB/node.js/angular or react, I spent hours learning the languages.

Then he comes up to me a few weeks later and decides to “pivot”

I wanted to cry. Back to coldfusion

be me.
be sad that you can't find your favorite Greek Food online.
offer your local Greek Restaurant that you do their web stuff.
make a nice modern website.
show it to the greek guy.

"Oh please look at this website, I like it more"
shows you a site build with tables, and menu-shortcuts only linked to pdf files.

cry in a corner.

Switching from a RecyclerView.Adapter to a CursorAdapter in my Android app...

Office internet down :/ boredddd

Cry, cry, headaches and cry again

I come back after a week of vacation and everything is broken.
What does Jenkins say?
Jobs disabled days ago.
- Yeah it hangs randomly and is blocking other projects.

Don't know if I'm gonna cry or laugh like a maniac, maybe both.

* Start maintaining/upgrading new project at work
* Read book on best practices for the framework
* quickly realise all the "don't do this" parts of the examples in the book is EXACTLY how everything in the project is done
* cry self to sleep

SambaCry is the wanacry for linux