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Search - "cry"
In the darkest of days, I discovered how to remote login to my computer at work through the company vpn. I then proceeded to work overtime at night in secret for a week or so, writing documentation and refactoring code.
I finally woke the fuck up and realized that I shouldn't be obsessing over proprietary codebases that do not belong to me, and I should put this misguided energy into my own projects.
So yeah, as a bad dev habit I'm working on fixing, this fits the bill.3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😱😱😱7
I just went to a job interview and ended up declining their offer & I said thank you for the opportunity and their reply was, "I wish you hadn't wasted our time." It made me cry and it was SO unprofessional.18
I am at the lowest point of my mental health. Lol
I hope it doesn't get any lower than this because I have reached my breaking point.
I have nobody to talk to. I don't want to be a cry baby, nagging and whining all the time.
My friends here Jason (from Zurich and not Australia) and Rutee07 were in similar position when I last spoke to them here. I wonder what happened to them!
Shall I call in for yet another superficial therapy session? Or shall I just wait for the feeling to pass and continue being busy?27
My tech lead keeps assigning me incident tickets in the company's worst legacy app because I solved some bug in it a while ago. I'm the only one who gets assigned these.
If this keeps going, I know for sure that I will be regarded as the designated developer for this application. Then I will be truly fucked.5
I leave work feeling like I was beaten. Not just physically, I feel mentally beaten sometimes I want to cry.8
Management has been promising we'd leave .NET framework for 2 years now. Never fucking happens. A new ASP.NET project was just started last week and yup, OF COURSE, its .NET Framework 4.8.
I'd even be happy with one of the earlier .NET Core versions at this point for fucks sake. I have no clue why tech leads are so happy to create a brand new project on a deprecated framework version.
And yes, I have checked thoroughly. Our whole infrastructure works with .NET Core onward. People are just too lazy to learn new stuff.
Stuff like switching to .NET 6, actually doing unit testing, improving our CI/CD pipeline, refactoring problematic codebases, etc. -> all this stuff is the kind of things they promise me I can work on later whenever I'm so bogged down with work that I'm looking for a light at the end of the tunnel. All empty promises.
Ideally we should be on .NET 6 since its LTS and just stay on the LTS versions as the year goes on.8
Still on the primenumbers bender.
Had this idea that if there were subtle correlations between a sufficiently large set of identities and the digits of a prime number, the best way to find it would be to automate the search.
And thats just what I did.
I started with trace matrices.
I actually didn't expect much of it. I was hoping I'd at least get lucky with a few chance coincidences.
My first tests failed miserably. Eight percent here, 10% there. "I might as well just pick a number out of a hat!" I thought.
I scaled it way back and asked if it was possible to predict *just* the first digit of either of the prime factors.
That also failed. Prediction rates were low still. Like 0.08-0.15.
So I automated *that*.
After a couple days of on-and-off again semi-automated searching I stumbled on it.
[1144, 827, 326, 1184, -1, -1, -1, -1]
That little sequence is a series of identities representing different values derived from a randomly generated product.
Each slots into a trace matrice. The results of which predict the first digit of one of our factors, with a 83.2% accuracy even after 10k runs, and rising higher with the number of trials.
It's not much, but I was kind of proud of it.
I'm pushing for finding 90%+ now.
Some improvements include using a different sort of operation to generate results. Or logging all results and finding the digit within each result thats *most* likely to predict our targets, across all results. (right now I just take the digit in the ones column, which works but is an arbitrary decision on my part).
Theres also the fact that it's trivial to correctly guess the digit 25% of the time, simply by guessing 1, 3, 7, or 9, because all primes, except for 2, end in one of these four.
I have also yet to find a trace with a specific bias for predicting either the smaller of two unique factors *or* the larger. But I haven't really looked for one either.
I still need to write a generate that takes specific traces, and lets me mutate some of the values, to push them towards certain 'fitness' levels.
This would be useful not just for very high predictions, but to find traces with very *low* predictions.
Why? Because it would actually allow for the *elimination* of possible digits, much like sudoku, from a given place value in a predicted factor.
I don't know if any of this will even end up working past the first digit. But splitting the odds, between the two unique factors of a prime product, and getting 40+% chance of guessing correctly, isn't too bad I think for a total amateur.
Far cry from a couple years ago claiming I broke prime factorization. People still haven't forgiven me for that, lol.6
my brain feels like an AI. It just slices things it sees and layers them over and over again. It doesn’t even change things, leaving them pristine and intact, it doesn’t filter stuff out. I cite memes exactly, word by word, with the exact intonation, because I literally just lip syncing to that meme playing in my head as if I was watching a youtube video. Some days I’m not even conscious of my surroundings, I don’t realize where I am, what I do, I’m just caught in that process I can barely put in words. People ask me to do something for them, I do it, and they’re like “no! it’s not what I asked for, well, it is, but not in this sense!” If they asked me if I could make their company the most profitable one in their niche, my brain will probably decide to instead sink and destroy other companies there. All that unspoken, “common sense” knowledge, I don’t understand. I feel detached, as if everyone else was “in” on something, some common notion, meanwhile I’m alone with my perfect things. I feel like a perfect Haskell codebase trying to interact with biker bar gloryhole dirty equivalent of an API. I want things to be exact, I want things to be precise, I want words you say to have specific meaning that I can understand, and I’ll ask you even though it takes overcoming my anxiety and guilt for asking “stupid” questions. If you throw in some clue, my brain will generate a Vsauce video worth of elaboration on that, and I’ll just tell it to you. Sometimes I feel like I just don’t fit, I can’t have fun at party with other people, if there are more than five of them, I’ll probably cry for no apparent reason. My consciousness operates smoothly, and then it don’t, it overheats, crashes and burns, then comes the numbness and derealisation.
I’m not okay. Now more than ever, I sometimes want to just end it.5
When you make a simple call to customer service but you end up rambling to the poor rep on the other end for nearly an hour...
By the end couldn't tell if she wanted to laugh, cry, or just drink a pint of bleach.
The universe has taken a cactus.
It proceeded to gift the cactus with a toxin that greatly enhances the stimulus of pain.
After the universe watched it's miraculous creation it decided to shove it up so far my arse that my gag reflex turned on and I puked a lot of cactus.
Didn't sleep well, weekend hardware migration finish, today an old server got moved.
Some part, most likely the redundant PSU, had a short circuit - decided to take the switches out... Which are the only non redundant hardware...
There was only one critical system in the whole rack, that was one redundant firewall.
Guess what happened..... Naaaa?
For whatever reason, the second firewall didn't kick in, so large part of internal network unreachable as VPN was on the firewall.
That's not cactus level yet.
Spontaneously a large part of the work at home crew decided to call, cause getting an email wasn't enough.
So while all the phones were ringing and we had the joyful fun to carefully take apart a whole rack to check for possible faulty wiring / electric burns / hardware damage and getting firewall up and running again...
Some dev decided to run a deployment (doable as one of the few working at the company at the moment -.-).
I work from home, but we had a conference phone call running the whole time so I could "deescalate" and keep others up-to-date. So me on headphone with conference call, regular phone for calls, while typing mails / sms for de-escalation.
Now we're reaching cactus level, cause being tortured by being annoyed out of hell by all telephone ringing, the beeping of UPS (uninterruptible power supplies), the screaming of admins from the server room and the roaring of air coolers…
Suddenly said dev must have stood in the midst of the chaos… and asked for help cause "the deployment broke, project XY is offline"...
I think it was the first time since years that I screamed at the top of my lungs.
Bad idea (health issues)… but oh boy was it a pleasure to hear my own voice echo through the conference speaker and creating an echoic sound effect.
It was definitely worth coughing out my loungs for the next hour and I think it was the best emotional outburst ever.
I feel a bit sorry for the dev, but only a tiny bit.
After the whole rack thing, the broken deployment fixing and the "my ears are bleeding and I think I will never be able to talk again" action...
We had to roll out several emergency deployments to fix CVEs (eg libexpat).
This day was a marvelous shit show.
I will now cry myself to sleep with some codein.1
Just finished a defect fix, and turns out there's another unrelated but harder bug in the codebase. We are in the last few days of the release.
I told my tech leads that it was an unrelated problem and showed them in detail. I told them I was starting work on it now, but there should probably be a new defect entered for it.
They actually said for me to piggyback the old defect and let this go under the radar. Actually laughed it off like it was no big deal. Like WTF! I don't think its very unreasonable for devs to want separate defects for separate bugs. They're worried about analytics and shit, but I'm the one left holding the rug, looking like I spent a week on a trivial defect.5
I need to make a legacy Java monstrosity asynchronous and came across a class which is currently making me cry blood.
It took our whole team 5 days to figure out how this thing works, including the weekend. At one place, It is adding an empty list, to another list.
The magic here is that if I remove the statement assigning data to the sub list, the data is still somehow being populated in the root list.
This clusterfuck somehow works in single threaded processing, but as soon as I make this multi threaded, all hell breaks loose.
Please send help!!1
You can comprehend its whole construction completely in two seconds. Yet, a hamster will be entertained by exploring this thing for life.
In the same way, an advanced neural network will be able to figure out our brain's construction and explain it to us.
If you cry AI takeover, remember that just because you can kill a hamster with your hand, and it absolutely can't do anything about it, doesn't mean you'll do this.
Said neural network may have morals completely detached not only from ours, but from the whole concept of "morals" as we know it. Its goals being beyond our understanding doesn't mean it will be hostile and won't help us.
The only thing we'll lose is control. Yet, benefits are so huge that they can transfer us up within the Kardashev scale, and it may be our only way to prevent the death of our civilization.
We don't have control over our nature either. We can't prevent eruptions and earthquakes. Losing control in itself doesn't mean the thing we lost control on will kill us.18
Best: Getting really close to my team and having good times with them as well as having a client love their website so much they sent me gifts and a really nice note.
Worst: Rude client who treated me like shit, made my job 103837xs harder and made me want to cry, scream and not want to come in to work ever again.1
Building your e-commerce looks easy for a dev. Just build a webapp and cry over it not getting hits 🤷♂️.
The company I work at severely limits the days we can take off, like most requests I put in will be denied. Additionally, I don't get paid that well or even get paid for time off or holidays. Obligatory: the job I work at currently is co-op, I'm still in college.
Yesterday and today I was severely burnt out so I said I was sick when I wasn't really so I could get some (unpaid) time off. It's likely that the current release we're targeting at work will be in jeopardy because of this. I feel so guilty, should I be? I really needed this time, I doubt I could have continued much longer without this.
TLDR, please help me justify not giving a shitty job my unconditional 100% and being shitty back every once in a while2
to be happy about weekend or to cry at all the work that needs to be done before heading to weekend1
Im so bored that I downloaded a 2d maze game on my phone...
I know it's cry very easy to solve since just need to go backwards but somehow still play it...