May the 'fourth' be with you fellow developers.
#worldpeacenotwar

Full form of www for men
Weather
Wine
Wife

All are unpredictable.

"Make it a bit more darker"
Me - "Okay"
"Ummm..a bit more lighter? Sorry, this is such a minor change,I figured it wouldn't need any documentation"
Me - "It's alright"
"Could you please make this text small, and reduce the opacity to 70%"
Me - *Rise in the levels of mental irritation, body's and blood's temperature*
"Oh and don't forget to add some tint to the background"
"Hey, sorry I forgot. We need to add another text below this image."
Me - Oh man oh man

What keeps a dev going: 💪

The problem about being a programmer:

My roommate: "Bro if you're going to the market buy 1 bottle of milk. If they have eggs, bring 6."

I came back with 6 bottles of milk.

Roommate:" Wtf man. Why did you buy 6 bottles of milk."

.
.
.
Well fuck.

:/

I swear if I hear any more of them git jokes like "I can't 'commit' as I'm not ready yet", I'm gonna commit to beat your ass up.

The math problem we've all encountered once -

There are 8 apples. Jack ate 3. Find the mass of free elctron floating inside the atom of phosphorus.

Worth mentioning our client who asks similar questions. That fucker.

Just had a feedback session.

Apparently one of my colleague has a problem with me.

The irony is - I didn't even knew the guy's fucking name until now.

Relatable right?

Today I took the risk of upgrading my gradle to a newer version

5 and a half hours later I figured it was a bad decision.

:/

Git add .
Git commit -m 'stuff'
Git push
Error: merge conflict in 594 files

Git commit suicide

<poem>
Birdy birdy in the sky.
Dropped a poppy in my eye.

I don't worry, I don't cry.
I am just fucking happy that cows don't fly
</poem>

:/

Murder our client and get away with it.

Seeing setups of badass devs
And then realising
How broke you are to buy such kinda shit.

Fml

Do not change your '/usr' permissions.

Yours sincerely,
A linux user who's been fucked up(twice) doing this because he wanted to install a fucking font.

One of main reason why I use Google as a search engine.

Me: Heads - Then I'll not use it.
Me: Okay google, toss a coin

GA: Sure,.... it's a tails.

Well.... fuck.

So our team went out on a lunch today.
Now because we are mostly developers (talk less bullshit and code more) we were quite uncomfortable sitting next to each other without a laptop.

Yeah, it was pretty awkward.

Thank you random dude from the internet who pasted a url from where I can obtain a floating ticket to license my JetBrains IDE.

Dear product managers,

DO NOT FUCKING DARE TO UPDATE THE FRS SHEET ONCE YOU HAVE SUBMITTED IT TO US FOR DEVELOPMENT.

You fuckers. It takes a lot of brain power to write code.

My colleague is right now cracking her knuckles. I don't mind her doing that once in a while but she's doing it every two fucking minutes.

Soo fucking irritating.

How to ask him/her out
Dev 101
You:
Do you know there are five different flavored coffees around the world?

Your crush:
No

You:
(Recite the names of all 5)

Your crush:
Okay

You:
The question is:
When are you going to have one with me?
;)

Any lucky dev found a date here ..through devRant?

(Don't kill me now) Xoxoxo

Appreciation post.

Fucking love Amazon even more now.

Story -
I created a new Aws account and they asked me to pay ₹2 (0.031$) as part of the verification process.

No big deal right?

2 days later, I got a notification saying - "Your account has been credited with ₹2.66"

Not only they returned me my money, but they also paid a certain interest with it too.

And the fact that they are taking care of their dev community (as if we are their customers) is appreciable.

Amazon - you bloody have my respect. I trust you.

No big deal

Suckerberg giving a testimony.

That little fucker

The more I read about the misery of other devs here, the more I feel comfortable with myself.

Thanks for building my fucking confidence up devRant.

Folks at my organisation say they can't recode our product based on a newer technology as they aren't comfortable with it and yes, it would apparently take much time and effort.

I think you should look out for better and newer technology out there that might improve your product and not worry about the effort it takes to migrate.

Thoughts?

Cry and panic because they don't know the required technology to complete the task.

(We all go through this. Some people just cannot contain their emotions though).

My manager is a "you don't know shit" kinda dude.
This one time while guiding us on how to operate on databases which existed and somehow, he deleted the whole database.

Ofcourse, to save his ass at once he claimed "This is why I was telling you all this, see!? The whole database got deleted"

And yes, we had a backup of that database. And yes we weren't able to control our laughter too.
You should have seen his face.

Just upgraded to a pending windows update.

Worst decision of my life.

#fml

I know it's a bit old. This is just a heads up to javascript newbies.

So I just came back to DevRant after approximately a year.
Feels like I'm too old to adjust to y'all new ranters.

No offence to middle/old age group programmers who think along the same lines.