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Hey geeky girl,
Roses are #ff0000
Violets are #0000ff
I use hex codes, but I’d use RGB for you.
Yet to try it in real life.6 -
Completed a project for my final year CS degree and my professor rejected saying it is of very few lines of code.Hope he learns to evaluate projects on complexity and logic rather than number of lines of code. :/29
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Father: Son, you're capable of doing anything you want, you can conquer the world if you believe in your dreams.
10 years later...
Father: WTF, Python programmer? Really son?5 -
How to ask him/her out
Dev 101
You:
Do you know there are five different flavored coffees around the world?
Your crush:
No
You:
(Recite the names of all 5)
Your crush:
Okay
You:
The question is:
When are you going to have one with me?
;)31 -
To write 1000 lines of JS, I need 1 cup of coffee.
To write 100 lines of documentation I need 100 cups of coffee.
For some reason time stops when I open confluence9 -
Solved a SEGFAULT in a conventionally undebuggable 800k lines C++ project after 10 hours of investigating 🙌14
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Removed the front end code using Angular : -9000 lines
Replace it with Vue : +1000 lines
😎
It's not because it's Google that means it's simple.12 -
Comment your best developer pickup line...
here's mine...
I think you're exceptional, I can try & catch you.24 -
How the fuck does these testers find these bugs
there are like
- go to this
- click on this
- type the first 57 digits of pi
- sacrifice your first born to the devil
-> there the table is misaligned by 13 pixels, fix that14 -
Do the 'best' programmers use fewest lines of code?
The best programmers write the appropriate number of lines of code. No more, no less.10 -
How can testing and debugging 10000 lines of uncommented, obfuscated code get worse?
Testing and debugging 10000 lines of uncommented, obfuscated code in visual studio.5 -
Beginner: I wrote 1,000 lines of code!
Intermediate: I deleted 1,000 lines of code!
Expert: I prevented code from being written!1 -
"I think my screen broke, it displays some colored lines... wait I'll send you a screenshot"
Classic6 -
have an interview in 20 mins, this is the last round.. new job has 80% salary hike compared to current .. wish me luck guys!!!13
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I hate when someone compares two languages depending on which one gives a "Hello world" with less lines of code.6
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Before knowing how to use git: Pff, it's ridiculous...
After knowing how to use git: *modifies 3 lines*
*git commit*5 -
You study PHP, OO, Design Patterns, TDD, Zend Framework, Laravel, AngularJS...
Then you find a job, it's Wordpress...5 -
An open letter to those who think lines of code == a decent metric for productivity:
NO!!!
Just because I wrote 10 lines of code all day (yes just 10 very well thought out, many times rewritten) lines doesn't mean my day was unproductive. Quite the opposite, while other devs pad their shit with:
//Adds 1 to I
I++;
Yup. Quality code. LOC doesn't lie.10 -
That moment when you write 200 lines of code and it compiled, runs and passes all tests.
Sweet Jesus!6 -
Just refactored 100+ lines of madness to 5 (FIVE!) lines of code. It's pleasing me and shitting me off at the same time.
Some people still get paid per line of code, I'm convinced.22 -
*** writes unit tests with great zeal and fervor ***
IDE is reporting 85% line coverage, woohoo!
*** grins like a bastard, thinks it's perhaps time to stop and celebrate ***
*** runs branch/conditional coverage... ***
37%
*** facepalm ***3 -
So we have this HUGE ass project , really challenging , that my boss and "PM" have been meeting with the client for months now...
I got on board , guess what?
NO ONE HAVE A FUCKING CLUE ON WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT!!!!!
ALL FUCKING GENERIC REQUIREMENTS!!! WHAT THE FUUUCK!!!
[ insert fucking pitch screaming!!!! ]
FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!1 -
What the hell is "4k mAh battery"? Come on guys, you know what that little 'm' means, please tell me you do.
You wouldn't say "4k miligrams". You wouldn't say "4k milliseconds". You wouldn't say "4k milliliters". So don't use "4k miliampere hours". It's dumb.
Just to be sure - everyone, repeat with me:
👏 0.000004 👏 MAh 👏 eqals
👏 0.004👏 kAh 👏 eqals
👏 4 👏 Ah 👏 eqals
👏 4000 👏 mAh 👏 eqals
👏 4000000 👏 nAh 👏
Thank for giving me 5k ms of your attention.20 -
Today I succumbed to will of C# coding standards and started putting all my braces on new lines...8
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When I was a kid I programmed a musical tune in QBasic (1994). It was magic. That "beep blips woin blop tuuuuu blups" coming out of the 386 builtin speaker just sounded like: "World, you are the next".
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Dev pickup lines:
Hey girl, I may not know your namespace but if you let me cin it'll turn you cout😉
Comment your best10 -
Code quality check punishes writing massive documentation strings due to "too many lines of code"
FML1 -
When a senior developer changes your impeccable code and pushes their ugly indented lines with bad naming scheme without review.
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One guy left the company and left me nodeJS project to maintain. It has a file with just a few lines short of 1700 lines of code.14
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I once made a .less files of 400 lines and today I redid it completely,
The file is now only 40 lines long and readable again1 -
!rant
just wanted to share with you guys,
instead of spending 1hr writing shitty code to fix a bug quickly, i just spent tha last 10 fucking hours and finally fixed it
I'M FUCKING PROUD OF MY CODE, IT BELONGS TO A MUSEUM9 -
Is it weird that i enjoy all these rants and the dev's frustration?
it really calms me down whenever i see a long rants, creative insults, excessive swearing
because it reminds me that my situation could be lot worse, thank god I'm not in one of those situations3 -
Happiness is removing all the compiling warning from a project which has half a million of lines of codes
*peace*3 -
I just did a code review on an old project of mine. 10k lines altogether. 5.7k TODO's. I can't even.4
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Python is GREAT 😊😊
makes you feel happy (😊) when fix a datetime problem just in 14 lines...
(36 lines in javascript ☺️)13 -
I was fixing an issue where I have encountered a Java class written by a recently hired senior developer with 1K+ lines of code.
Inside that class....
One Method => 1K lines🙄🙄
I don't know where to bang my head now😐😐6 -
[Working on a Project]
- Added a few lines for log display to end user
- Breaks everything
- Spent an hour trying to resolve issue, fails
- Commented those lines
- Everything starts working again
- Uncommented those lines
- Everything still works
FML!3 -
We actually had a small "code on paper" test (more like a recap test) yesterday, but we didn't have to write much rather than just have a basic understanding how classes and instances of those work. It was like 6 small lines of code to insert. I don't mind coding on paper as long as you don't have to write a big program with it as a 1-hour test.2
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I've come up with my fair share of dev pickup lines over time. I'm particularly proud of this one.
2 -
C++ tough me that having 2 or 3 friends is ok in some situations, but its best to avoid them when possible.
Also, you cannot have friends outside of class.4 -
Guess who implemented a whole new feature in 3.5 lines of code and a simple CSS class.
This awesome guy.
Take that, frameworks.6 -
Deleting debugging/logging lines instead of commenting them out, when there is 95% chance that I will need them again3
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We are so fucked...
-railroads
-highways
-waterways
-?
-super bridges
-fiber optic lines
-?
-4g spots/towers
22 -
Assigned to completely new project. Whole day researched and now give report how many lines of code written.3
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A one of my co-workers today said he once witnessed a 20,000 line SQL query. Is that even a thing? What does it do?9
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Broken teams,
define Agile principles in 2 lines :
Take 2X to your velocity,
and work 80hours a week ;)3 -
My friend starts every program by adding some¹ empty lines in the Main function, 'couse "I need space where I can work". I can't understand him.
¹ = At least 30 extra lines.5 -
***ILLEGAL***
so its IPL(cricket) season in india, there is a OTT service called hotstar (its like netflix of india), the cricket streams exclusively on hotstar..
so a quick google search reveals literally thousands of emails & passwords, found a pastebin containing 500 emails&passwords ...but those are leaked last year most of passwords are changed & many of them enabled 2FA.. after looking through them we can find some passwords are similar to their emails , some contains birth year like 1975,1997 etc, some passwords end with 123 ..so after trying a few different versions of the passwords like
1) password123 -> password@123, password1234
2) passwordyear -> password@year
2) for passwords similar to emails, we can add 123 ,1234, @ etc
created a quick python script for sending login requests
so after like 30-40 mins of work, i have 7 working accounts
*for those who have basic idea of security practices you can skip this part
lessons learnt
1) enable 2FA
2) use strong passwords, if you change your password , new password should be very different from the old one
there are several thousands of leaked plaintext passwords for services like netflix,spotify, hulu etc, are easily available using simple google search,
after looking through & analysing thousands of them you can find many common passwords , common patterns
they may not be as obvious as password ,password123 but they are easily guessable.
mainly this is because these type of entertainment services are used by the average joe, they dont care about strong passwords, 2FA etc6 -
What happens when I say "uhm... and what if I remove this two little lines of code?"
Ctrlzctrlzctrlz
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I just found out you can commit single lines of a file without the necessity to remove temporarily debug lines every time ... it has blown my mind.
8 -
Roses are red
Boost I need you
You do so much I cannot breath
You fucking need to be hacked around every time I have to compile you for a different compiler or VS version getyourshittogheter fucking hell it makes me hate you -
On the positive note, I just installed win 10 on my PC, so I can finally play some MMO with my gf with more than 30 seconds per frame. Needless to say, my first installs were Msys2 and gvim :)
PS, any suggestions on a free casual MMO we could play together? I was thinking about TERA, but not set on anything yet.17 -
Easy. I've learn Bash, Python and Java just by constantly getting assigned to projects that require those languages. Also tiny bit of Perl, but I don't want to talk about this.
I was hired as a C++ developer BTW and never had contact with those languages. -
Sometimes 3 lines of code can make you question your abilities about yourself, make sure you comment them 😭😭😭😭😭
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Confession:
I spend an embarrassingly large amount of time carefully constructing email subject lines.4 -
What’s your worst pickup lines for devs?
How about this:
When my dick gets hard, it gets as hard as NP hard.19 -
Just spend 7 hours till 2:30 fixing a minor bug.... Disappearing messages... Git commit? 20 lines...2
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“Let’s spend two pages and 100 lines of code on bad practice before you learn good practice in 5 lines.”
Django (& REST) tutorials in a nutshell 🙄1 -
Manny a developer has been foiled by a single random misplace punctuation mark hiding in a million lines of code.3
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Ahh, that increadible feeling when I start typing to the rythm of music. Especially fast math rock.
Listening to "And so I watch you from afar" right now, it's almost like I'm part of the band 😅4 -
The hardest decision right after "how to name this variable?":
Where to put free lines?
(Should there be one after the colon!?)7 -
I was returning something at MicroCenter the other day. The guy in front of me was picking up a laptop be brought in to have fixed. They had replaced the motherboard, and put all his old data on an external drive.
"So what's this?"
"This is an external hard drive. We copied all the data from your laptop onto it and put a fresh install on it."
"So .. how do I get to it?"
"You just plug it in, over USB."
"So how ... how does that work."
This goes on for a while. Shop owner has to start his computer. Plug in the drive. There was a lot of, "So everything that was on here, is now on here?"
The guy had no basic understanding of external hard drives, USB, copying files ... thankfully while the files were copying from the hard drive to his desktop, he said he needed a longer cable to the router so he could put it on the other side of the room. It took the guy behind the desk an unreasonable amount of time to direct him to the isle with the Ethernet cables, but once he did, I was finally able to return my item.
I'm glad I no longer work in desktop support.1 -
I feel shitty cause I've never wrote near 100 lines of python code or just a large number of lines in any language. I want to write large amounts of code that will actually work.10
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Hell is working on a file 4000 lines long file containing html css php and sql with inconsistent coding conventions2
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Installing a Library update, so that 2 lines of code can put some space between 2 list items
Thanks google2 -
Did a programming test today(written), a fking small box for a method with 15/17 lines and a full A4 to write a method with 5 lines maximum...
Just wtv.. -
Spaghetti code
Mixing about 27 functionalities in an 800-lines-function accessing global variables.2 -
The more I show up to the office to tackle impossible client demands, the more I realize that I am living in the world of The Expert.
https://youtu.be/BKorP55Aqvg1 -
Inherited a codebase that implements its own word wrapping for receipt printing. Problem is it's putting an extra space at the end of each line.
I open up the implementation, expecting it to be a relatively simple fix, until I see this…
var regex = '.{1,' +width+ '}(\\s|$)' + (cut ? '|.{' +width+ '}|.+$' : '|\\S+?(\\s|$)');
return str.match(RegExp(regex, 'g')).join(linebreak);7 -
Lets make a rant before going to bed
Who had the marvelous idea that a developer's proeficiency could be measured by years?
So at my new job Ive been waiting for credentialls, server access software installation, etc ( i know i know but thats for another rant ) and all that idle time has given me opportunity to crawl in the company's sharepoint page which has the career path for a software developer, since Im a student Im listed as trainee, but after that I have to wait 3 years + certifications to be considered as senior and then be able to hop to next hierarchy level Software Designer and then another three years to be able to become a software architect. So my point, as I was seeing this I thought "I dont wanna wait 6 years to become a software architect, Im going to be better faster in order to become needed and make them promote me faster"
The thing is Ive always wanted to become a softwsre architect and learning that I have to wait 7 years to be considered a proeficient architect just makes me mad.
Pd: One of the requirements for a senior developer is knowing Lines of code time stimation1 -
Writing 20k lines of code and finally during compilation more numbers of errors....Life ends here....
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i get a lot of anxiety if i didn't push my code or save somewhere remote, especially if i make a lot of changes
is it just me?9 -
I wrote 170 lines of PHP code consecutively and I haven't ran it yet...
I'm scared of sending that form.3 -
!rant
Really hate people who place their open curly braces on a new line beneath the statement ¿por que?8 -
!dev
Why the FUCK do bank waiting lines have to be so fucking long? And why do these old cunts have to spend 30+ minutes in the booth each? If this goes on, I'll have to wait in line for THREE FUCKING HOURS just to raise my fucking daily transaction limit! And all I fucking wanted was to order the parts for my new goddamn rig! If you have too many cocking clients to handle, hire an extra worker or five!4 -
I have a single WinForm class, stuffed with all the logic it needs. 11k fucking lines of fucking nightmare code!!!4
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The feeling after you refactor 4000+ lines of ugly legacy code into 2000 lines of code placed in a framework ...these 4000 lines also all one document
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Jesus I can view 10000 lines of lorem ipsum without a problem but I cannot run 3 longer lines without getting 7fps ?!?!
6 -
I run auto-formatter with every typo correction so nobody notices. 300 lines changed, message "formatting"
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When i decide to change the color lines of my Linux bash i would never imagineted that it was so hard lime that 😅5
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Finally after spending an hour and my lunch break on getting rid of 120+ char lines and white spaces.. 😇✌🏻️
1 -
TFW you complete a TopCoder problem in 20 lines of code, only to find another solution done with 4 lines and you have to spend 15 minutes just to understand it..1
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Just went over some of my old horrible code from before i started studying. I litterally went from 104 lines of if/else statements to about 15 lines with loops. Then down to 2 lines with lambdas...
I saved 102 lines of actual code. And the runtime! I had a loop count to 10000 with no body! It helps to study apparently :/ -
50,000+ lines of javascript later - have not written the word "function" once - nor the word "class"17
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If I get a line of code for every time I say I'm gonna be productive, I'd have more lines of code compared to the amount of lines of code I've coded.
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Java's such a bitch, it won't house pointers but throw a NullPointerException at even the most insignificant lines possible.1
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When you write 20 lines of code, that you don't understand, then you can be absolutely sure, that there is a way to solve your problem in 2 lines of code.
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Has anyone tried kivy for android on a mac using the newest android sdk and ndk?
If the answer is no, god bless you and your unhurt soul.2 -
When you are sitting there for 5 hours just looking for those stupid lines:
> (* TODO: fix this, fix that *) -
When you don't compile small code snippet and keeps on writing lines of codes and after writing large lines of code that one moment when you start compiling your code for the first time
Brace yourself for errors 😕 -
How many lines of code should one be looking at at any given moment? Of course you could zoom, but how many lines do you guys think is ideal?
Currently I have 33 when in full screen.3 -
When I work extra hours on weekends, so I can finally take a break from Microsoft Word and write some code for a change. It's going on for a second week now, if not longer 😢1
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When the missing reference error goes away when you delete the Target block lines in .csproj
Hogwarts stuff right here -
APi platform for Symfony :
How to transform a system which worked perfectly with 10 lines of code for each functionality with 100 lines of annotations and requires...
Why so much anger ? -
The worst project i work on is my actual project, this is not a dev project but a "Run the Bank" project !
check 3 times a day that servers are okay, logs are okay, unduserssolvedunderstand and give the "how to fix" to the dev team #pan1 -
How can i throw cube my completely different direction on every click while maintaining restruction shown by cyan lines
4 -
Have to refactor one Big shitty class with thousands of lines of code... Thanks to Bachelor thesis1
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Are there any off-limits items for weeklys (other than politics)? Like could we get a "bad dev pickup lines" weekly or should i just start a thread?3
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Let us all have a moment of silence for the wasted lines used for individual variable declaration... we were so young and so dumb... YOU ARE IN A BETTER PLACE NOW!!!
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