Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API

From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "jquery"
-
I’m surrounded by idiots.
I’m continually reminded of that fact, but today I found something that really drives that point home.
Gather ‘round, everybody, it’s story time!
While working on a slow query ticket, I perused the code, finding several causes, and decided to run git blame on the files to see what dummy authored the mental diarrhea currently befouling my screen. As it turns out, the entire feature was written by mister legendary Apple golden boy “Finder’s Keeper” dev himself.
To give you the full scope of this mess, let me start at the frontend and work my way backward.
He wrote a javascript method that tracks whatever row was/is under the mouse in a table and dynamically removes/adds a “.row_selected” class on it. At least the js uses events (jQuery…) instead of a `setTimeout()` so it could be worse. But still, has he never heard of :hover? The function literally does nothing else, and the `selectedRow` var he stores the element reference in isn’t used elsewhere.
This function allows the user to better see the rows in the API Calls table, for which there is a also search feature — the very thing I’m tasked with fixing.
It’s worth noting that above the search feature are two inputs for a date range, with some helpful links like “last week” and “last month” … and “All”. It’s also worth noting that this table is for displaying search results of all the API requests and their responses for a given merchant… this table is enormous.
This search field for this table queries the backend on every character the user types. There’s no debouncing, no submit event, etc., so it triggers on every keystroke. The actual request runs through a layer of abstraction to parse out and log the user-entered date range, figure out where the request came from, and to map out some column names or add additional ones. It also does some hard to follow (and amazingly not injectable) orm condition building. It’s a mess of functional ugly.
The important columns in the table this query ultimately searches are not indexed, despite it only looking for “create_order” records — the largest of twenty-some types in the table. It also uses partial text matching (again: on. every. single. keystroke.) across two varchar(255)s that only ever hold <16 chars — and of which users only ever care about one at a time. After all of this, it filters the results based on some uncommented regexes, and worst of all: instead of fetching only one page’s worth of results like you’d expect, it fetches all of them at once and then discards what isn’t included by the paginator. So not only is this a guaranteed full table scan with partial text matching for every query (over millions to hundreds of millions of records), it’s that same full table scan for every single keystroke while the user types, and all but 25 records (user-selectable) get discarded — and then requeried when the user looks at the next page of results.
What the bloody fucking hell? I’d swear this idiot is an intern, but his code does (amazingly) actually work.
No wonder this search field nearly crashed one of the servers when someone actually tried using it.
Asdfajsdfk.rant fucking moron even when taking down the server hey bob pass me all the paperclips mysql murder terrible code slow query idiot can do no wrong but he’s the golden boy idiots repeatedly murdered mysql in the face21 -
My son has started learning javascript at school, but he is complaining that all the $ signs are ugly! Yep, they're teaching the kids with jquery.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😱😱😱7 -
JavaScript is fun when your not fucking bad at programming you stupid jquery-loving, abstractionless, monoparadigm, encapsulationphobia fucks13
-
Many people were hired to work on new product, but no one have told them that for one or two quarters they will have to maintain 20 years old project. I was ranting about this, but in the end accepted my fate, wiped tears with money and moved on. However one of devs took another path. When he was asked to work with .aspx and jquery 1.X instead of react, he just said : "Not going to happen" and left the building.5
-
You think jQuery would finally have died after the IE era? Or that it would only be used to still pander to IE users?
Well... nope: https://w3techs.com/technologies/... says jQuery 3 has overtaken jQuery 1, which was the only version to even polyfill IE.
WTF is wrong with web devs, just WHY?! jQuery's use cases are shit that would be simpler and with less code without jQuery, shit that should be done in CSS instead, or shit that doesn't belong on websites to begin with.42 -
Just got a new job at an old school hardware company. The codebase is giving me heart attack. They don't care about dev experience or code navigation at all. Every attempts to modernize the codebase is so half assed. All patches are so bloated that make the codebase even worse.
Frontend is migrated from prototype-oop-jquery cluster fuck to AngularJS, then finally angular. Holy moly, all business logics are baked into UI "classes" using prototype chain. When they migrated to AngularJS, someone simply added a wrapper to that jQuery cluster fuck class and overwrote all the prototype with a 10k +lines file. Since all the methods are hidden in either prototype, JS object, or callback function, it's impossible to trace the data pipeline using IDE when "go to definition" on update() method gives you all the update methods/string in all objects/classes. And they don't care about immutability. References are taken out, renamed, and mutated everywhere. Finding the source of a bug is fucking guessing game.
I don't know what trick they use that makes cLion static analyzer fail.
And there is no unit test or spec doc.
Fuck me dead3 -
I have been keeping this inside for long time and I need to rant it somewhere and hear your opinion.
So I'm working as a Team Lead Developer at a small company remotely based in Netherlands, I've been working there for about 8 years now and I am the only developer left, so the company basically consists of me and the owner of the company which is also the project manager.
As my role title says I am responsible for many things, I maintain multiple environments:
- Maintain Web Version of the App
- Maintain A Cordova app for Android, iOS and Windows
- Working with pure JavaScript (ES5..) and CSS
- Development and maintenance of Cordova Plugins for the project in Java/Swift
- Trying to keep things stable while trying very hard to transit ancient code to new standards
- Testing, Testing, Testing
- Keeping App Stable without a single Testing Unit (sadly yes..)
- Just pure JavaScript no framework apart from JQuery and Bootstrap for which I strongly insist to be removed and its being slowly done.
On the backend side I maintain:
- A Symfony project
- MySQL
- RabbitMQ
- AWS
- FCM
- Stripe/In-App Purchases
- Other things I can't disclose
I can't disclose the nature of the app but the app is quite rich in features and complex its limited to certain regions only but so far we have around 100K monthly users on all platforms, it involves too much work especially because I am the only developer there so when I am implementing some feature on one side I also have to think about the other side so I need to constantly switch between different languages and environments when working, not to mention I have to maintain a very old code and the Project Owner doesn't want to transit to some more modern technologies as that would be expensive.
The last raise I had was 3 years ago, and so far he hasn't invested in anything to improve my development process, as an example we have an iOS version of the app in Cordova which of course involves building , testing, working on both frontend and native side and etc., and I am working in a somewhat slow virtual machine of Monterey with just 16 GB of RAM which consumed days of my free time just to get it working and when I'm running it I need to close other apps, keep in mind I am working there for about 8 years.
The last time I needed to reconfigure my work computer and setup the virtual machine it costed me 4 days of small unpaid holiday I had taken for Christmas, just because he doesn't have the enough money to provide me with a decent MacBook laptop. I do get that its not a large company, but still I am the only developer there its not like he needs to keep paying 10 Developers.
Also:
- I don't get paid vacation
- I don't have paid holiday
- I don't have paid sick days
- My Monthly salary is 2000 euro GROSS (before taxes) which hourly translates to 12 Euro per hour
- I have to pay taxes by myself
- Working remotely has its own expenses: food, heating, electricity, internet and etc.
- There are few other technical stuff I am responsible of which I can't disclose in this post.
I don't know if I'm overacting and asking a lot, but summarizing everything the only expense he has regarding me is the 2000 euro he sends me on which of course he doesn't need to pay taxes as I'm doing that in my country.
Apart from that just in case I spend my free time in keeping myself updated with other tech which I would say I fairly experienced with like: Flutter/Dart, ES6, NodeJS, Express, GraphQL, MongoDB, WebSockets, ReactJS, React Native just to name few, some I know better than the other and still I feel like I don't get what I deserve.
What do you think, do I ask a lot or should I start searching for other job?23 -
Around a decade ago, I was fiddling with ajax in jQuery. This piece of code had me stumped for around 2 days, why? Because success is written with 1 final S in my native language...
$.ajax({
'succes' : function(data) { },
});7 -
All the jQuery... in one single repository / website.
There is a good reason why we should use fucking CDNs.
Edit: Yes, these are different files in different folders.
Edit2: I've already deleted 2 other jQuery files (the library itself).4 -
You probably hate bootstrap and jQuery, as I do, but if you block CDN paths for these libraries, you'd probably never see the internet as it was intended.
Side note: web devs, please learn media queries, vm and em for font sizes, and etc. You really don't need complicated stuff, browsers already have your back, I promise.4 -
I will delete my question. Fuck you all! Fuck Shopware and your lack of support! Fuck StackOverflow and your erratic standards of downvoting, deleting, or simply ignoring helpful questions, while piling up React and jQuery details bullshit. Fuck you all seriously! Just typing this to see if anyone of you yankees cares enough to down vote or ban me. Fuck the fucking fuckers!20
-
i spent two days fixing some bs styling made on our platform. this guy put redundant attributes in the classes and the elements themselves and instead of using :hover he just created hover with jquery. i stared at my screen for 10 minutes when i saw that. the worst part is he was not dumb, so how 🤦♀️9
-
Fuck Wordpress, Fuck Wordpress's PHP
I'm so fucking tired of everything in this godforsaken CMS. Import a JS File? Sure, just add a *completely obvious* line into a very specific PHP File, where you'll have to specify a lot of "useful" parameters. No, I somehow DON'T want to specify that I don't wand jQuery in every import. And don't even get me started on Content Delivering. Embed CSS? Sure, just write the fucking whole path to the file, or use the broken get_stylesheet_uri() Function. Embed an Image? Sure, let me just go to the Backend and wait 6 Minutes for this bullshitty System to upload the image and then copy the hard-coded Link. Oh, you want to remove googleapi embeds? Sure, let me just fuck up your whole Website in return.
You want jQuery? Well instead of using the "$" Symbol, you have to use the jQuery() Function. Except when you don't have to, which is 100% random each time you reload the page. Oh, you actually did import a JS File? Sure, let me just not run it. Thank you fucking piece of shit thats calling itself "WordPress" and fuck you and everyone whos actively encouraging its usage1 -
Was on call last night. I get a phone call at 3 am that all of our clients projects (including one that was launching at 5 am) was missing libraries (thus causing the sites to not work). I was able to fix all of the errors but one (missing jQuery). Couldn’t figure out how to fix for the life of me. Had to call my boss and wake her up because I forgot I could just download it from the site. Feeling like a failure for something so small.3
-
"We use top of the art, endgame, final boss, super technology"
What they actually use: Java 1.8, jQuery, JSP and an old version of bootstrap
Why is this still a thing?2 -
Someone wants me to help them alter the content of an iframe containing job listings from a 3rd party website. I’ve tried to tell them it’s not possible unless they can convince the 3rd party website to change their global job listing template for everyone. The client seems to think they were able to do this before with another prior job listings provider, but they don’t know how it was done and I can’t begin to imagine how either. What would you tell a client to convince them that it’s not possible?4
-
I have a few side project ideas. I started one of them a few months ago (project setup, dependencies, git repo, index page, very basic API and client functionality). But I cannot get myself to work on it or even think about it (for months now). The reason? I do not want to work on the client/frontend! I do not want to deal with React or Vue or Svelte or fuckjs or even jquery. It's a fucking mess.
For the backend, the requests are stateless: you get a request, handle it, and respond back. Need to update state? Database. That's it!
For the frontend, there's just tooo many states I can't keep up with! When the user checks or unchecks this checkbox, I need to maintain the state of the checkbox and maintain the all effects of changing the checkbox while syncing with the backend and making sure the elements are still styled correctly with the applied effects. Multiply that with all the expected interactive elements on the page. It's exhausting!4 -
Its most enjoyable when you are working on a codebase that was cleary planned and thought out beforehand. Bugs are easy to fix, features are easy to make because you already have a blueprint of how its supposed to look, modifying features is easy because you already know where to look to make the changes. You can work with plain jquery or fucking visual basic and youll still have a better time then with any modern framework if you have that.
-
Do you want to know why all the popular open source projects have less-than-optimal, sometimes really dirty code?
It's because their developers ditched all the unnecessary stuff to just get the damn thing done. When I choose an open source dependency, I don't need unfinished stuff. I need a stuff that works and has all the features I need from the very start. If it works, I don't care about code quality in my deps.
This is the reason why dirty, rushed stuff with a great idea behind it gains popularity. PHP, Git, jQuery, the list is quite large.
While you've been busy polishing your files hierarchy, these guys already shipped their product, gained adoption, and their userbase doesn't need your product anymore.
This is applicable only for true open source, not "it's developed by a full-time team of principal developers and the CTO is fucking Kent Beck, it costs $1m per month but yea we have it on github".3 -
As a JS developer I wish that when I import a package, a list of all the Jquery methods comes shipped with it 🥺12
-
I work in a small team. As the senior dev I tens to focus on important tasks that shape the core of the product but some times I can’t divide my self when there are multiple tasks at hand, so I pass some tasks to the an other mid level dev.
So the task was to create an automation in order to CD (continuously deliver) an order from WHMCS of the (git versioned) product to customers UAT, PROD envs.
To get a background this is an old guy with “constricted” experience in PHP/jQuery/Joomla/Wordpress.
So when we were breaking up the tasks he told me he would like to implement this so i gave him the task as i was busy with core features.
I was like what could go wrong? I know he doesn’t know much about CI/CD but he can read right? He will google right? He will search for CI/CD solutions that do this out of the box right? He will design on paper or what ever and do small POCs right? He will design the flow first before starting the implementation right? RIGHT?
So fast forward to today I had a call with him this morning about some DB staff. And he wanted to show me his progress…
His solution is:
(parentheses is my brain)
1. Customer completes WHMCS order (perfect)
2. Web Hook 🪝 action (YES)
3. cpanel gets source and “automatic!” Init, all using pure PHP code ignoring the usage of the current framework (ok… something is missing)
4. cpanel web hooks(?) WHMCS to send email to customer with the envs initial setup page(?)
5. Customer opens link and adds setup info (ok fuck, fuck, fuck)
(Ok stay cool composed, lets ask some questions maybe he thought it all in a cool way I can’t get my mind around)
Me: So how are you gonna get the correct version from the repo to the env and init the correct schema?
Dev: I haven’t thought about it yet.
Me: Are we gonna save each version to a file system then your code is going to fetch them?
Dev: I haven’t really thought about it we will see. But look on customer init user setup I implemented a password strength validation and it also checks if the password is the same.
So after this Pokémon encounter I politely closed teams. Stood up drank some (a lot) coffee ☕️. Put out the washed laundry while reflecting on life’s good things, while listening to classical music 🎼 .
Then I sat on my office chair drank some more coffee, put some linking park starting with in that order:
“Numb” then “What I’ve Done” and ended with “In the end, it does really fucking matter” -
Browser automation is a PITA. I’m going on my fourth side mission with this crap and I honestly still look like a newbie. I’ve tried Java Selenium with Chrome, Excel VBA with IE9, Vanilla JS in the browser console, and tonight I’m thinking to concoct some kind of hybrid CDP & Selenium approach in Chrome. Never used CDP before, not even sure where to start but I heard it sucks like anything else unless you get some extra libraries and plugins and stuff.
It doesn’t help that I can’t get just anything I want from our IT Department. It would be another PITA to ask for puppeteer. If puppeteer is totally legit please let me know.
Selenium sucks. The buttons don’t click, the waits don’t wait. Its unusable. Iframes are annoying as all hell but I can deal with that. HTML Tables suck too. It doesn’t help I have to restart my whole java program and whole Chrome every time an element doesn’t get picked correctly. Scripting one single element can take all fucking night.
Chrome dev tools what the fuck. Why the fuck is the DOM explorer in the same window as the web page I’m working on?? I can’t undock it. Am I supposed to use a fucking TV screen to work with this bastard?? If I use the remote chrome tools on port 9225 or whatever - It Still Renders The Whole Fucking Page Alongside The Console. Get Out Of My Way!!! The nested HTML CODE IS ONE CHARACTER WIDE ALL THE TIME. I can’t for the life of me figure out what the fuck I’m looking at. Haven’t you people ever heard of A HORIZONTAL SCROLL BAR at least.
Fuck I tried using getElementById, and the Xpath thing and its not all that great seeing I have seemingly 1000s of nested Divs all over the god damned place oftentimes containing a single element. I’m finally on chrome now should I learn Jquery now? I mean seriously wtf.
I use this one no code tool for dev it has web automation built in. As you can imagine its just as broken as anything else!! I have 10 screens to navigate it gets stuck on the second screen all the damn time. Fuck I love clicking the buttons when my script misses and playing catch up with it.
So as a work around to Selenium not waiting even 1 millisecond when I use explicit wait or implicit wait or fluent wait, I’m guessing maybe I can attach both Chrome Dev Tools Protocol (CDP as ive called it earlier) and selenium to the same browser and maybe I can use CDP to perform a Wait with any degree of success. Selenium will do nothing more than execute vanilla javascript Element.click(); This is the only way I know to even ACTUALLY use selenium beyond the simplest html documents possible. Hell I guess CDP can execute js idk.
I can’t get the new selenium that has CDP but I do have some buggy ass selenium from a few years back. Yeah, I remember reading there was a pretty impactful regression defect in the version I have. Maybe I’m being gaslighted by some shit copy of selenium?
The worst part is that I do seem to be having issues that the rest of the internet’s devs do not seem to be having. People act like browser automation is totally viable and pretty OK. How in the fuck hell is my Selenium Test Suite going to be more reliable my application under test?!!?? I’ll have more fucking bugs in my test suite than in my application. Today, I have less than half a test script and, I. already. fucking. do.
I am still SUPER PISSED at the months of 12 hour days (always 8 hours spent on normal sprint work btw only 4 to automation) I spent trying to automate our regression tests. I got NOWHERE.
I did learn a lot about HTML and JS though like I’m not that mad…but I’m just trying to emphasize my achievement on my task was zero.
The buttons don’t click. There are so many divs and I swear you sometimes need to select a div somewhere in the middle sometimes to get it working. The waits don’t wait. XHR requests are invisible. Java crashes 100 times before I find an xpath and thread.sleep() combo that works. I have no failure modes to use — Sometimes I click the same element 20x in a script because I have no way to know if it clicked the first time! Sometimes you gotta scroll the page to make the click work. So many click methods all broken. So many wait methods all broken. Its not just the elements don’t click! There are so many ways to click that almost work but surely they all fail the same in the end. ok at this point I’m just repeating myself…
there yet even more issues that I can’t remember…and will soon remember as I journey into this project yet again…
thanks for reading I hope I entertained and would love to hear your experience!6 -
It’s a huge nightmare to develop a React front-end when:
- you have to adapt Bootstrap 3/jQuery based components to React
- the “back-end” is a sparse collection of micro services with cryptic URLs and finding the correct name means searching on a laggy WSO2 API manager
- the documentation of said micro services can be outdated and that means wasting a lot of time trying requests on cURL rather than in doing actual development and continuously breaking your concentration
- sometimes the micro services just become unavailable altogether
- the back-end shuts down at
6PM everyday, usually when after I finally achieved a flow and I’m doing meaningful progress2 -
I recently refactored a form with complex client side interactivity for one of my clients replacing jquery with vuejs in the process and I'm absolutely baffled by how easier it is to reason about everything when you think of the UI as a function of the state. Only devs who have done both imperative and declarative DOM manipulation at some point in their life can understand the joy of doing this. And all of this can be done with just a simple script tag without having to bring in complex build process that has plagued the Javascript ecosystem.