More You know

All software developers are clowns. Prove me wrong (you cannot)

🤡

The bugs have learned to hide

If you can't buy happiness with money, then you don't have money.

Who agrees

You know it's bad when Github finds it necessary to tell you your code is trash

Me when I'm updating my projects:
"I put some new code in,
I took some old code out,
I put some new code in and I tested it all out, I fixed some major bugs and I pushed the update out. That's what it's all about!"

Uber driver: What do you do?

Me: I make apps and do some server side programming

Uber driver: Does that mean you have to type in 1s and 0s all day?

"History is never made by those who use Incognito browsers" - Anonymous

*sigh*

How to start coding (for fucktards)

1: Choose desired programming language like python or java

2: Search on youtube or google: "<language> tutorial beginner"

3: if step 2 was to hard for you...
STOP learning how to program, you are hopeless

4: Instead of asking everyone on how to learn programming, just fucking DO IT already!

Seriously, if you don't even know how to use google and youtube to educate yourself programming is NOT FOR YOU!

Once I failed captcha 4 times in a row. My colleagues told me: "Update your firmware, RoboCop"

Can you go faster from 0 to a 100 than drake?

for(int i=0; i<=100; i++) {
Console.WriteLine(i);
}

Show me your fastest way!

I am so sick and tired of hearing "I'm not good with computers" from these god damn secretaries I have to work with.

Fuck you! I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU! That God damn piece of shit Windows XP door stop has been on your desk for at LEAST a decade (shit, I think that was the same PC my highschool had, and I'm in my mid thirties)!

What in the FUCK do you mean you don't know the difference between files and folder? How? HOW can you stare at that damn screen every fucking work day off your life and not grasp simple concepts!

And FUCK THE ADMINISTRATION for hiring these volunteerily ignorant babies who refuse to bother figuring out more than just where the power button is (and, fuck me, even THAT took years).

Fuck me if, after spending 40 God damn minutes of my time trying to guide some secretary, who's been working twice as long as I have and making probably twice as much, on how to copy a file from one folder to another, I have to listen to some fucking pity speech "I just don't get this high tech computer stuff. I'm just too old"

And FUCK society for allowing this fucking behavior! I don't know any other piece of technology where people are happy being so blindly ignorant to even the basics! I don't know Jack shit about the internal working of a car, but I know where and how to use my steering wheel and peddles and that I need to take the thing for an oil change. Hell, I even know when my tires look bad... If I can do that, you can fucking learn how to copy a god damn file without needing me to help you... FOR A FUCKING HOUR!

FUUUUCK!

*Takes a deep breath*
So... How was your day?

hope this isnt a repeat. have a great weekend guys!!!!!

Seriously, why? WHHHYYYY?

US-date-format sucks, every FUCKING TIME!

The only time I really notice is when the "month" is larger than 12:

05/13/2017
"5th of Dec... oh. Fuck. Not this shit again..."

(It makes no sense. Absolutely none.)

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

On Amazon buying Whole Foods.

Automatically pressing CTRL + S when filling out anything in a browser.
Why do I do this.

Oh, oh..