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Joined devRant on 7/5/2016
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Pun of the day
Boss: I heard your colleagues hate dealing with code you wrote. Why?
Me: No comment16 -
If you are stuck at 5 PM, you won't fix it "in 20 minutes". You will rather spend 2 hours trying to fix it and still be stuck. Go home, relax a little. The next day in the morning you will be unstuck!5
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Short contract job, helping a solo dev.
Me: what's these "200" everywhere?
Him: the max number of sensors we support. I know it should be a define, but it just became that way.
Me: <shrugs. Well, I'm only staying here a couple of weeks. Goes on working on my own branch>
A week later, manager says: "now we need to support 400 sensors!"
Solo dev: <searches and replaces all occurrences of 200 with 400. The program breaks>
Me: what happened?
Him: I only changed the max number of sensors!
Me: Mmm. <searches for 199 as well... Bingo. Creates a define, searches for 198 and 201 for good measure. Gives him no comment about my change>3 -
This is the prototype of my "Build Button". I press the button and it executes a build process. Keyboard shortcuts weren't good enough for me.15
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Hehe, stumbled upon an oldie :-)
struct ComputerContractor
{
double salary;
long lunches;
float jobs;
char unstable;
void work;
int hiring_him_again;
const pain_in_the_arse;
unsigned agreement;
short fuse;
volatile personality;
static progress;
};
/* and there are no unions in sight */3 -
This guy is the best coworker ever. He analyzes my algorithms, advises me when to eat or take breaks, and reminds me not to take life too seriously. He's pretty helpful with debugging too.11
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School time, programming class:
Girl: Hey, Can you help me?
Me: Sure, what's up?
G: I have an error but I don't know why
M: *looks at error stack trace* You're missing a semicolon in line 133 *puts comma, run... 27 more errors* Well, you have more issues up there, why don't you try to fix them?
G: Oh, Ok, thanks
-- 1 hour later --
G: Hey, can you come? I already fixed the other issues but I still have one I can't fix
M: *checks code, same mistake I fixed, missing semicolon, same line* Why did you erase the semicolon?
G: Oh, because if I erase it, I only have 1 error, but if I leave it, I have 27 so....
M: *turn around, walk away*19 -
Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.
So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.21