There's so many cool technologies too look into now a days, but so little time.
-docker
-laravel
-.net
-react
-es6/es7
-elasticsearch
-redis
-unit testing

Where do i download more hours to add to my days?

How do you react?

this happens way too often in our company

PM: did you made that change I requested?
me: yeah, its on the live server now, why?
PM: I cant see it...
me: *wtf, I specially forced the JS to reload to eliminate problems with cache* could you send me a screenshot?
PM: *sends screenshot*
me: I dont get it... I can see the changes in my browser *dev feeling intensifies* ... refresh the site and try again
PM: oh... suddenly its there, ...anyway, thanks! it looks great!
me: *facepalm*

turns out our managers just dont refresh websites, they want changes to take place immediately

So a company is looking for a web developer intern with minimum 3 years of job experience! What kind of intern that would be!

Me - Lately, been working on Node.js, its fun.
Friend - Oh but it doesnt scale well, I hate that language.
Me - why do you think so? and its a VM, JS is the language.
Friend - Cos it doesnt scale, i heard from others.
Me - wut.

I fucking hate people who fucking blindly hate a technology / programming language.
Motherfuck, whats with these idiots blindly hating languages?
Every lang has its own use cases, why cant these twats understand that.

You use a tech as per needs, its not a fucking make-up.

Backend engineer doing frontend. The eternal struggle of centering an object.

Tabs vs spaces war numbers :P https://dzone.com/articles/...

My PM is a fantastic guy all around and gets all the ladies in the sack.

If I could impress girls with my Java skills, I would still be single.

That akward moment when you realize that you are not in a linux shell!

started watching silicon valley. I thought why arent the unassigned guys working on side or personal projects, then i realized i might do the same thing.

I love Java...

...script!

Me: Do you know how to use a debugger?
Friend: printf(something);

You know what's worse than that random IDE crash?

Random WiFi crash.

Our project manager joined Facebook and 30 minutes later, 42 blocks and counting!

devRant broke my relationship.

I am being commanded to put "I love my girlfriend" in my bio to scare away all the 'women' that are apparently on here

This jewel piece of code in Java:

if(String.valueOf(var1.toString( ) ).equalsIgnorecase(String.valueOf(var2.toString())){
//fuck something else here
}
String var1; //defined somewhere
String var2; //defined somewhere in the code

At this point I am not even mad 😂😂

Writing some code to sift through some demographic data. Thought I could parallelize a few calls. Now I have a race race condition...

#blackcodematters

Sometimes I just wonder how.
I spent hours trying to find out why nothing was being rendered on screen. In the end I realized that my full-screen triangle consisted of 2 vertices.

Client: "I've started as a software developer too" *chuckling* "so I understand EXACTLY what you say... But could you just explain me what do you mean with 'legacy code' ?"
Me: :|

Client asks to point their domain to a new 'squarespace' they just got, then call you bc they cannot access the admin console to their old site and 'it's so weird that all the requests are now going to squarespace !!'

" The junior dev just told me about an app called devRant. What have you been ranting about me on it?"

Beware of PMs.

The bug made it through unnoticed. sh1t storm wednesdays. FML

So, in my spare time I run a little helper business that teaches children/teenagers how to program.

Theres a new kid that's been coming for around about a month, and I swear the kid is a programming deity.
He picked programming and more importantly developing remarkably quickly.
Long story short, I paid for him to go to a Hackathon in LA and he now has more business contacts than me.

must try this in some interview!

The OnePlus 3 looks soooooo amazing! OnePlus One.. you did me well. time to upgrade!

what are your thoughts ranters?

When your non-dev gf gets angry on you for not responding to her texts through out the night but you decide to stay quiet because she would never understand that you were trying to fix the code.

while working and you realize your headphones had a warm shower in the soup bowl

Have you ever committed to an impossible deadline simply because your client would have been completely FUCKED if you didn't?

this would have been remotely doable if the existing code base that was handed over was just mildly reasonable. But how could this shit ever have worked the first time?!

Gilfoyle would just have said no. Why can't I be more like Gilfoyle >.<

Relax junior LOL