LocationIsle of Man
Joined devRant on 1/4/2018
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My mom died when I was 7, after which my dad bought me a Commodore 64 so I had something to lose myself in during the mourning process.
I learned everything about that system, from my first GOTO statement to sprite buffers, to soldering my own EPROM cartridges. My dad didn't deal with the loss so well, and became a missing person 5 years later when I was 12.
I got into foster care with a bunch of strict religious cultists who wouldn't allow electronics in the house.
So I ran away at 14, sub-rented a closet in a student apartment using my orphan benefits and bought a secondhand IBM computer. I spent about 16 hours a day learning about BSD and Linux, C, C++, Fortran, ADA, Haskell, Livescript and even more awful things like Visual Basic, ASP, Windows NT, and Active Directory.
I faked my ID (back then it was just a laminated sheet of paper), and got a job at 15-pretending-to-be-17 at one of the first ISPs in my country. I wrote the firmware and admin panel for their router, full of shitty CGI-bin ASP code and vulnerabilities.
That somehow got me into a job at Microsoft, building the MS Office language pack for my country, and as an official "conflict resolver" for their shitty version control system. Yes, they had fulltime people employed just to resolve VCS conflicts.
After that I worked at Arianespace (X-ray NDT, visualizing/tagging dicom scans, image recognition of faulty propellant tank welds), and after that I switched to biotech, first phytogenetics, then immunology, then pharmacokynetics.
In between I have grown & synthesized and sold large quantities of recreational drugs, taken care of some big felines, got a pilot license, taught IT at an elementary school, renovated a house, and procreated.
A lot of it was to prove myself to the world -- prove that a nearly-broke-orphan-high-school-dropout could succeed at life.
But hey, now I work for a "startup", so I guess I failed after all.30
The highest data transfer rate today - 256 gigabytes per second - was achieved when the cleaner's vacuum cleaner accidentally sucked the flash drive in from the floor.10
Jesus fucking christ, entering w3schools.com (don't ask) and I immediately get a cookie consent thing shoved in my face.
WHY?! Please don't tell me it's so I can get the 'best experience' because that's straight out bullshit. I don't need cookies and you fucking name it to get 'the best fucking experience' while looking up again how that one PHP or HTML or CSS or WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER thing worked.
E-v-e-r-y GODDAMN site has this nowadays, to 'improve my experience' - I block ads anyways so what's the motherfucking point?!
Mother of FUCKING god.
Oh for crying out loud, Github is stopping with the term 'master' due to its 'negative association'.
Can we please not pull everything out of goddamn context and not be a fucking offended special snowflake with ANYTHING that could potentially be thought of in a way that could be associated with slavery?!
If we're gonna do it like this I want to ask people of color not to use white/light themed websites/backgrounds.176
Yep think I'm starting to get a bit kookie.... I'm starting to track whenever songs are playing in my head8
So, tonight I didn't really have much planned (I found out) so when I mentioned a side-remark my boss was quick to suggest an evening phone meeting, which I couldn't turn down...
So tonight we've cleaned and archived in our repositories, weeded out teams, member permissions, and such...
The thing is; I like my boss and he's much more of a friend, so when I mentioned that a cleaning would be good, he suggested to do it over a glass or two of something good :)
We ended up spending an hour or two getting a lot closer to the bottom of things — beer in hand and laughs in the air :)6
Once I told a good friend that I will make a website for his business. I do all IT stuff he only has to do the content. Halfway done with the site I asked if he has written anything. He had not. Then a week later I asked again. He had nothing. So I sat down with him and helped him write what he does and why people should go to him. Then I told him to ask a mutual photographer friend to take pictures for him. A week went by when I asked him if he has contacted the guy. He had not. Then I was like: "Dude! If you are not willing to put any effort into making this happen then why the hell should I?"
In the end he didn't do anything. And that's the story of my friend never getting a free website.
I'm coding again!!!❤️❤️❤️
Next thing I'm ranting about is, again, the fact that I have to spell colour like "color" 😤😤😤
I’m 100% Mac and I use Coda. by panic. However they are working on a new editor called Nova which is in private beta.
Having found Stripe i am glad i can get rid of PayPal on all my projects.
Paypal is overrated.Stripe is the future of online payments for developers.2
What a joke PayPal's so called testing environment is!
Last time I tried to use it, PayPal told me not to try because it doesn't work.2
Who's the dumbass that decided you can't delete your PayPal account at all unless your balance is $0?
I am not giving you my card information for the $0.18 balance I have. For God sakes, I don't even bend over to pick that up if I see it on the ground.
It's one thing if it were like $100 or even $10. But it's eighteen fucking cents. Not even a a quarter of a fucking dollar.
At least make me put in my password and answer a security question or some shit, not straight up remove the option to delete it.
Spent the last days trying to reach paypal tech support, hung on the phone across the globe, with people at paypal CS, who weren't even familiar with their own terminology, read tons of VERY 'straightforward' documentation and it kept me up two nights straight.
ALL because I REFUSED to believe that it is like I understood it between the lines that I read.
Today I got my answer. You can create Billing Plans (rules on which you'll base your subscriptions, i.e. amount, intervals, duration..) ONLY over the rest api, and only when a customer purchases a first subscription, you're able to EDIT the plan on Paypal dashboard!
What fuckery is that!? You have a edit form, but you can not provide a create form?! TY paypal for making me build a whole billing plan manager for usually a one time transaction per website.
I AM SENDING YOU MY PHONE BILL.1
Okay so literally the first time I want to donate money to Wikipedia because they've been a great help over the years I click on PayPal and I get a 502 page
Have you ever had that deep, deep depressing moment where you just thought to yourself: "Man, why did I switch to Mac" ?
Yeah, me neither.14
Paypal Rant #2
Paypal might just be the only company with 98% of their employees being support staff because not a soul on this planet knows how to work with that fucking piece of shit of a company's service.
No really, if there was a shittiness-rating from 1-10 (10 = worst) you would have to store paypal's rating as a string or invent a new data type because no CPU could fucking work with such a big ass fucking number.
If I had to choose between Paypal and going back to manually trading physical goods/animals for stuff I would gladly choose the latter, because Paypal, go suck a bag of dicks you useless fucking shitpile of a "company".8
Paypal Rant #3
One day I'll go to Paypal HQ and...
... change all the toilet rolls to face the wrong way
... remap all the semicolons to be the Greek equivalent character
... change all the door signs so they say "pull" instead of "push" and vice versa
... modify all the stairs to have variable heights
... programmatically shuffle the elevator buttons and randomly assign the alarm key to any of the most visited floors
... pour cocoa onto all the keyboards and wipe them off cleanly
... attach clear duct tape over their mouse sensors and insert really weak batteries or mess with their cables
I'll wait a day or two until they experience a sudden shortage of developers, then bombard them with thousands of fake applications from seemingly amazing candidates, then write an AI bot to continue argumentation with HR.
I'll wait another week or so until the company dissolves and with them, all my issues in life.
No need to be overly vulgar this time because you all know the deal. I hate this fucking company. Please Paypal do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.9
Node.js is the most fucking useless application of js in publishing apps, worse can be only python. Why the fuck would you do all of those "cool" apps if they are fucking useless like tech demo. I found blessed-contrib. Awesome. Now try to use it in real life scenario. Fuck all and useless. Any attempt to port it to a remote terminal or even running locally in browser are so much hassle it will be easier to rewrite the fucking thing in java or c. Why everyone is wanking off at node.js when its fucking useless.7
You guys ever spent a longer period of time on finding a bug and once you found it, first go grab a coffee/snack to allow that bug some final moments?
Like some sick kind of power play along the lines of “I will fix you at a time and location of my choosing”9
Somebody at Samsung is testing something in production 🤭
It's "Find my mobile" which is preinstalled by default on Samsung devices8
YouTube recommendations are like when you tell your mom that you enjoyed a classical music concert, and the next day she has bought you a cello and signed you up for classes.
JUST BECAUSE I WATCHED ONE FUCKING DUMB COOKING SHOW, DOESN'T MEAN I WANT ALL MY CAREFULLY CURATED CONTENT ABOUT PROGRAMMING AND SCIENCE REPLACED WITH CELEBRITIES TRYING OUT VEGAN BARF WRAPS.11
In memory of the giant of engineering that was Larry Tesler, today I will be coding solely by copying and pasting. Thanks for making my life so easy, Larry. RIP.5