Details
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AboutI like interesting stuff.
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Skillsc#, php, sql, mssql, mysql, windows-server, linux(Debian), networking, it-forensics
Joined devRant on 6/29/2017
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Anyone know what this is?
Is it a bomb? (lol)
It was in front of one of the apartments i live in.23 -
I seriously feel like this should be a joke/meme.
What you see in the picture is a database table.
This guy's now running around with a degree in something related to web development.6 -
me: "hey look, something new and awesome I could use in my projects!" (WebAssembly in this case)
also me: "I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I WOULD USE THIS FOR"3 -
!dev
Feck I hate public transports. Rude people everywhere.
When the train arrives, everybody is pushing themselves at the door, not letting people stepping outside properly, then they lay their filthy shoes on the seats, contributing to the cancerness of the place, they cackle like hens, so I have to put super high volume on my headset, bringing some dark looks from other peasants because I listen to metal, but fuck them, and when finally you arrive, with nearly all the people standing up since 15 minutes ago because they want to go off first, some fucker in front of you steps down, with his luggage, and STOPS right there to open his handle so you're sure to bump in his ass, he turns to you expecting YOU to apologize when the fucker took the whole place for himself, I give him a mean look with my metal chaos pissing from my ears, and venture off to bump in a girl who was standing in the FUCKING way again checking out where she had to go. ARGH.7 -
Customer : c
Me : m
*Few weeks ago*
C: the server is slow, it sometimes takes 7 seconds before I see our data
(the project is 7+ years old and wasn't written by someone who is very good in SQL)
M: yeah I see that, our servers are busy with this one "process" (SQL query)
C: make it faster
M: well that's possible but it will take a few days (massive SQL spaghetti that I first have to untangle)
C: 😡 nvm then
*Yesterday*
C: server is down !
M: 🤔 *loads data from server and waits ~ 7 seconds*
M: Well what's the problem?
C: I need the data but it's so slow
WELL YOU MINDLESS IMBECILE... If something is slow it doesn't mean our god damn production server is down !
That just means that you have to give us a day or two so we can optimise the (ALSO BY YOUR REQUEST) rushed project... And save you YOUR money that YOU waste on the processing time on our server...4 -
We got a binary clock at our trainstation. I love it, but most of the people think it's wasted money because they can't read it.66
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I had my first nightmare in years:
I was at work, and suddenly saw that my NS has changed for my personal domain. I also saw that the domain has transferred to another provider and a company had bought it and had it for sale for $7000.
I woke up, but it took 10 minutes before I realized it was just a dream.3 -
My boss typed up a GitLab ticket that looked like it took at least an hour to make. Screenshots, diagrams, how to reproduce the bug, dreams, hopes, desires, dinner recipes, marriage advice, how to diversify a portfolio. Honestly, the whole 9 yards.
The bug fix was changing a SQL Inner Join to a Left Join. 10 seconds.14 -
After almost 3 years of hard work here’s my Bedroom setup. I produce music as a hobby in addition to dev’ing and 3d graphics(blender/VR/opengl) stuff. Sorry for the unmade bed 😅. Build my first custom pc last October
- I7 7700K
- Asus OC 1080ti
- 32 GB DDR4
- 2 512GB Samsung 960 pro (one for each os)
Feel free to ask about anything else14 -
Not one feature.
All analytics systems in general.
Whether it's implementing some tracking script, or building a custom backend for it.
So called "growth hackers" will hate me for this, but I find the results from analytics tools absolutely useless.
I don't subscribe to this whole "data driven" way of doing things, because when you dig down, the data is almost always wrong.
We removed a table view in favor of a tile overview because the majority seemed to use it. Small detail: The tiles were default (bias!), and the table didn't render well on mobile, but when speaking to users they told us they actually liked the table better — we just had to fix it.
Nokia almost went under because of this. Their analytics tools showed them that people loved solid dependable feature phones and hated the slow as fuck smartphones with bad touchscreens — the reality was that people hated details about smartphones, but loved the concept.
Analytics are biased.
They tell dangerous lies.
Did you really have zero Android/Firefox users, or do those users use blocking extensions?
Did people really like page B, or was A's design better except for the incessant crashing?
If a feature increased signups, did you also look at churn? Did you just create a bait marketing campaign with a sudden peak which scares away loyal customers?
The opinions and feelings of users are not objective and easily classifiable, they're fuzzy and detailed with lots of asterisks.
Invite 10 random people to use your product in exchange for a gift coupon, and film them interacting & commenting on usability.
I promise you, those ten people will provide better data than your JS snippet can drag out of a million users.
This talk is pretty great, go watch it:
https://go.ted.com/CyNo6 -
Most satisfying bug I've fixed?
Fixed a n+1 issue with a web service retrieving price information. I initially wrote the service, but it was taken over by a couple of 'world class' monday-morning-quarterbacks.
The "Worst code I've ever seen" ... "I can't believe this crap compiles" types that never met anyone else's code that was any good.
After a few months (yes months) and heavy refactoring, the service still returned price information for a product. Pass the service a list of product numbers, service returns the price, availability, etc, that was it.
After a very proud and boisterous deployment, over the next couple of days the service seemed to get slower and slower. DBAs started to complain that the service was causing unusually high wait times, locks, and CPU spikes causing problems for other applications. The usual finger pointing began which ended up with "If PaperTrail had written the service 'correctly' the first time, we wouldn't be in this mess."
Only mattered that I initially wrote the service and no one seemed to care about the two geniuses that took months changing the code.
The dev manager was able to justify a complete re-write of the service using 'proper development methodologies' including budgeting devs, DBAs, server resources, etc..etc. with a projected year+ completion date.
My 'BS Meter' goes off, so I open up the code, maybe 5 minutes...tada...found it. The corresponding stored procedure accepts a list of product numbers and a price type (1=Retail, 2=Dealer, and so on). If you pass 0, the stored procedure returns all the prices.
Code basically looked like this..
public List<Prices> GetPrices(List<Product> products, int priceTypeId)
{
foreach (var item in products)
{
List<int> productIdsParameter = new List<int>();
productIdsParameter.Add(item.ProductID);
List<Price> prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, 0);
foreach (var price in prices)
{
if (price.PriceTypeID == priceTypeId)
{
prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, price.PriceTypeID);
return prices;
}
* Omitting the other 'WTF?' code to handle the zero price type
}
}
}
I removed the double stored procedure call, updated the method signature to only accept the list of product numbers (which it was before the 'major refactor'), deployed the service to dev (the issue was reproducible in our dev environment) and had the DBA monitor.
The two devs and the manager are grumbling and mocking the changes (they never looked, they assumed I wrote some threading monstrosity) then the DBA walks up..
DBA: "We're good. You hit the database pretty hard and the CPU never moved. Execution plans, locks, all good to go."
<dba starts to walk away>
DevMgr: "No fucking way! Putting that code in a thread wouldn't have fix it"
Me: "Um, I didn't use threads"
Dev1: "You had to. There was no way you made that code run faster without threads"
Dev2: "It runs fine in dev, but there is no way that level of threading will work in production with thousands of requests. I've got unit tests that prove our design is perfect."
Me: "I looked at what the code was doing and removed what it shouldn't be doing. That's it."
DBA: "If the database is happy with the changes, I'm happy. Good job. Get that service deployed tomorrow and lets move on"
Me: "You'll remove the recommendation for a complete re-write of the service?"
DevMgr: "Hell no! The re-write moves forward. This, whatever you did, changes nothing."
DBA: "Hell yes it does!! I've got too much on my plate already to play babysitter with you assholes. I'm done and no one on my team will waste any more time on this. Am I clear?"
Seeing the dev manager face turn red and the other two devs look completely dumbfounded was the most satisfying bug I've fixed.5 -
It's been 3 days since I started my dev job and it's been pretty stressful. I could have posted at least 3, maybe 4 rants each day. Mainly about trivial bullshit that I let get to me.
Lets just say it came to a head today and that's when one of my bosses, who doesn't even really need to know who I am, decided to help me out. No reason why, just being kind.
I get home to find my other half had been making my lunch for me for tomorrow and had made dinner for me as a surprise. Didn't ask her to do it, she just did it out of the kindness of her heart.
It just made me realise that I'm actually surrounded by great people who I value a lot and appreciate more and more each day. -
OH MY GOD REFACTORING FEELS SO AWESOME
I just finished spent 4 weeks of crazy busy summer camps and I get back to a project I was working on.
Refactoring.gif
It feels so awesome to just effortlessly move stuff into methods and have it work pretty much first time.
To be fair I’m the only one working on this right now so I pretty much already knew the code but still holy cow it’s so much simpler now.
Moral of the story: Appreciate your time off and use it to unwind and let your mind wander to more creative heights before taking advantage of it after and only after you get back to the project1 -
!rant
The joys of returning from my annual leave..
My contributions after just being back from a 7-day leave.. 27 in total.. PR's, issues, bug fixes, feature fixes, requested features,..
Feels good tho.. It was a productive day today and we made the weekly update! :D
( Yes, I pushed commits while on vacation :D )2