Yesterday: Senior dev messages out a screenshot of someone using an extension method I wrote (he didn’t know I wrote it)..

SeniorDev: “OMG…that has to be the stupidest thing I ever saw.”
Me: “Stupid? Why?”
SeniorDev: “Why are they having to check the value from the database to see if it’s DBNull and if it is, return null. The database value is already null. So stupid.”
Me: “DBNull is not null, it has a value. When you call the .ToString, it returns an empty string.”
SeniorDev: ”No it doesn’t, it returns null.”
<oh no he didn’t….the smack down begins>
Me: “Really? Are you sure?”
SeniorDev: “Yes! And if the developer bothered to write any unit tests, he would have known.”
Me: “Unit tests? Why do you assume there aren’t any unit tests? Did you look?”
<at this moment, couple other devs take off their head phones and turn around>
SeniorDev:”Well…uh…I just assumed there aren’t because this is an obvious use case. If there was a test, it would have failed.”
Me: “Well, let’s take a look..”
<open up the test project…navigate to the specific use case>
Me: “Yep, there it is. DBNull.Value.ToString does not return a Null value.”
SeniorDev: “Huh? Must be a new feature of C#. Anyway, if the developers wrote their code correctly, they wouldn’t have to use those extension methods. It’s a mess.”
<trying really hard not drop the F-Bomb or two>
Me: “Couple of years ago the DBAs changed the data access standard so any nullable values would always default to null. So no empty strings, zeros, negative values to indicate a non-value. Downside was now the developers couldn’t assume the value returned the expected data type. What they ended up writing was a lot of code to check the value if it was DBNull. Lots of variations of ‘if …’ , ternary operators, some creative lamda expressions, which led to unexpected behavior in the user interface. Developers blamed the DBAs, DBAs blamed the developers. Remember, Tom and DBA-Sam almost got into a fist fight over it.”
SeniorDev: “Oh…yea…but that’s a management problem, not a programming problem.”
Me: “Probably, but since the developers starting using the extension methods, bug tickets related to mis-matched data has nearly disappeared. When was the last time you saw DBA-Sam complain about the developers?”
SeniorDev: “I guess not for a while, but it’s still no excuse.”
Me: “Excuse? Excuse for what?”
<couple of awkward seconds of silence>
SeniorDev: “Hey, did you guys see the video of the guy punching the kangaroo? It’s hilarious…here, check this out.. ”

Pin shoulders the mat…1 2 3….I win.

Watched this movie called Unthinkable where the guy who is supposed to defuse the bomb is typing gibberish into Excel 😂😂😂

How to get your money from a difficult client.

Me wanting to board Plane,
Goes through security Check...
"Sorry sir Laptops are not allowed."
Me
"Why?"
Security
"It could be a modified bomb"
Me
"But this is a Tablet!"
Security
"No sir, it has a Keyboard and Trackpad attached to it, its also running Windows..."
Me
"Excuse me, but this is clearly a Tablet"
*Detatches Keyboard from Surface Book*
"See? Tablet."
Security,
"Sorry sir, but no. You cant board the plane with this, only Tablets and Smartphones"
Me
"WTF? you dont allow Laptops because they could be bombs but A FUCKING SMARTPHONE IS ALLOWED? AND TABLETS TOO?!"
Security
"Yes, because the Battery is not removable..."
Me
"But my Laptop Battery is also not Removable..."
Security
"I dont have anymore Time for an Argument"
Me
"So I can board the Plane?"
Security
"No, the Ticket will be refunded"

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT? LIKE RLY? WHO!!
I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS ALLOWED?!

I was activating virtualenv in powershell when my younger brother came in.

Me: *all nervous* please don't think I'm hacking or trying to set off a bomb. (He always thinks I'm hacking and tells on me.)

Brother: *silent*

Me: *even more nervous* I don't want my laptop to get taken away. Don't tell on me and say I'm hacking, because I'm not.

Brother: Oh, I know you're not hacking this time.

Me: You do? *relieved.*

Brother: Yeah, because this time it's a blue background, not a black one.

Me: Oh, haha. So you're only scared of things such as these? *opens CMD and Git Bash* you know, just because it's dark themed, doesn't mean it's malicious. Besides it—

Brother: oooOooOh! You're hacking again! I'm telling on you!

*Note to self: Never use dark theme in front of the ignorant again.)

When my friend said the note 7 is the bomb, I didn't know he meant it literally.

my laptop is still young and innocent but thank you devrant for awesome stickers

I was writing a Python code and my teacher saw. She knows nothing about programming so she asked if I was programming a bomb to blow up a building... Smh.

Tonight, I had the pleasure of being challenged to make a virus for a VM over at the awesome "virus aquarium": computernewb.com

I present to you the Eevee fork/bomb.
Tonight, was the first night where I've ever sat down and programmed in VBS. I had a lot of fun doing it too. Right now I'm aiming at corrupting taskkill, tskill, and shutdown for good measure. These are a few of the things that my buddy has pulled on me that has made it difficult for me to continue moving forward.

The other part is to create seperate .exe files that would run my the necessary script. Each of these .exe files will be unique such that it's more difficult to shut all of them down at once.

Despite the fact that this thing will quite literally break your computer, it's fun being challenged to think outside of the box. Quite literally. I've always been careful about what things I touched on a PC, but tonight was fun because I was basically unchained and allowed to run rampant.

As a computer geek I think it's good to let out your inner demon and see what havoc one could wreak.

This tini tiny forky bomby is so cute than you probably want to execute it... at least in a VM / Container.

Undefusable Unix Bomb

Today.

Last night someone detonated an improvised nail bomb at a concert venue in downtown Manchester. 22 dead and 59 injured (many life threatening).

I'm working from home as my home is listed as a safe haven.

I'm not sure how much, if any, work I'll get done.

If you're in Manchester and need anything let me know.

It's all very much process:

Check everyone I know is ok
List house as safe space
Buy food
Keep passing information around to those who need it

No real time to think about it, just stay in the "response" mode.

Our company got attacked last month by what i believe was a code time bomb from a ex employee. And it was brutal, website hacked, email server not responding, locked out from database servers. The IT department asked for my help and I was more than happy to do it. Long story short I got every thing back working smoothly. The IT guys ask for a favor to not include this in my monthly progress report. Fine by me. But then they went out and tokd the top management that they are teaching me about the networks and servers so thats why I was working with them last month. Fucking assholes. Not going to help them any more.

I met a skater who had a fork bomb on his skateboard

Smart India Hackathon: Horrible experience
Background:- Our task was to do load forecasting for a given area. Hourly energy consumption data for past 5 years was given to us.

One government official asks the following questions:-
1. Why are you using deep learning for the project? Why are you not doing data analysis?
2. Which neural network "algorithm" you are using? He wanted to ask which model we are using, but he didn't have a single clue about Neural Networks.

3. Why are you using libraries? Why not your own code?

Here comes the biggest one,

4. Why haven't you developed your own "algorithm" (again, he meant model)? All you have done is used sone library. Where is "novelty" in your project?

I just want to say that if you don't know anything about ML/AI, then don't comment anything about it. And worst thing was, he was not ready to accept the fact that for capturing temporal dependencies where underlying probability distribution ia unknown, deep learning performs much better than traditional data analysis techniques.
After hearing his first question, second one was not a surprise for us. We were expecting something like that. For a few moments, we were speechless. Then one of us started by showing neural network architecture. But after some time, he rudely repeated the same question, "where is the algorithm". We told him every fucking thing used in the project, ranging from RMSprop optimizer to Backpropagation through time algorithm to mean squared loss error function.

Then very calmly, he asked third question, why are you using libraries? That moron wanted us to write a whole fucking optimized library. We were speechless at this question. Finally, one of us told him the "obvious" answer. We were completely demotivated. But it didnt end here. The real question was waiting. At the end, after listening to all of us, he dropped the final bomb, WHY HAVE YOU USED A NEURAL NETWORK "ALGORITHM" WHICH HAS ALREADY BEEN IMPLEMENTED? WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE YOU OWN "ALGORITHM"? We again stated the obvious answer that it takes atleast an year or two of continuous hardwork to develop a state of art algorithm, that too when gou build it on top of some existing "algorithm". After listening to this, he left. His final response was "Try to make a new "algorithm"".

Needless to say, we were completely demotivated after this evaluation. We all had worked too hard for this. And we had ability to explain each and every part of the project intuitively and mathematically, but he was not even ready to listen.
Now, all of us are sitting aimlessly, waiting for Hackathon to end.😢😢😢😢😢

*drops the truth bomb*

BAE loves Linux. 😘

Navy story continued.
And continuing from the arp poisoning and boredom, I started scanning the network...
So I found plenty of WinXP computers, even some Win2k servers (I shit you not, the year was 201X) I decided to play around with merasploit a bit. I mean, this had to be a secure net, right?
Like hell it was.
Among the select douchebags I arp poisoned was a senior officer that had a VERY high idea for himself, and also believed he was tech-savvy. Now that, is a combination that is the red cloth for assholes like me. But I had to be more careful, as news of the network outage leaked, and rumours of "that guy" went amok, but because the whole sysadmin thing was on the shoulders of one guy, none could track it to me in explicit way. Not that i cared, actually, when I am pissed I act with all the subtleness of an atom bomb on steroids.
So, after some scanning and arp poisoning (changing the source MAC address this time) I said...
"Let's try this common exploit, it supposedly shouldn't work, there have been notifications about it, I've read them." Oh boy, was I in for a treat. 12 meterpreter sessions. FUCKING 12. The academy's online printer had no authentication, so I took the liberty of printing a few pages of ASCII jolly rogers (cute stuff, I know, but I was still in ITSec puberty) and decided to fuck around with the other PCs. One thing I found out is that some professors' PCs had the extreme password of 1234. Serious security, that was. Had I known earlier, I could have skipped a TON of pointless memorising...
Anyway, I was running amok the entire network, the sysad never had a chance on that, and he seemed preoccupied with EVERYTHING ELSE besides monitoring the net, like fixing (replacing) the keyboard for the commander's secretary, so...
BTW, most PCs had antivirus, but SO out of date that I didn't even need to encode the payload or do any other trick. An LDAP server was open, and the hashed admin password was the name of his wife. Go figure.
I looked at a WinXP laptop with a weird name, and fired my trusty ms08_067 on it. Passowrd: "aaw". I seriously thought that Ophcrack was broken, but I confirmed it. WTF? I started looking into the files... nothing too suspicious... wait a min, this guy is supposed to work, why his browser is showing porn?
Looking at the ""Deleted"" files (hah!) I fount a TON of documents with "SECRET" in them. Curious...
Decided to download everything, like the asshole I am, and restart his PC, AND to leave him with another desktop wallpaper and a text message. Thinking that he took the hint, I told the sysadmin about the vulnerable PCs and went to class...
In the middle of the class (I think it was anti-air warfare or anti-submarine warfare) the sysad burst through the door shouting "Stop it, that's the second-in-command's PC!".
Stunned silence. Even the professor (who was an officer). God, that was awkward. So, to make things MORE awkward (like the asshole I am) I burned every document to a DVD and the next day I took the sysad and went to the second-in-command of the academy.
Surprisingly he took the whole thing in quite the easygoing fashion. I half-expected court martial or at least a good yelling, but no. Anyway, after our conversation I cornered the sysad and barraged him with some tons of security holes, needed upgrades and settings etc. I still don't know if he managed to patch everything (I left him a detailed report) because, as I've written before, budget constraints in the military are the stuff of nightmares. Still, after that, oddly, most people wouldn't even talk to me.
God, that was a nice period of my life, not having to pretend to be interested about sports and TV shows. It would be almost like a story from highschool (if our highschool had such things as a network back then - yes, I am old).
Your stories?

Thats the Vibe of AI..

I was in a public place on my laptop, and my laptop went into hibernation to save battery. I switched it back on and then the laptops BIOS came up saying that the battery was critically low, nothing bad here.

Instead of clicking continue, I decided to press "Diagnostics" instead. The diagnostics immediately began to run in the BIOS.

The screen began to show different coloured bars and patterns, obviously a screen test. Then a prompt appeared asking me if coloured bars were displayed. The options were yes and no, and a button saying "Exit" in the top right. Me, not wanting to do a full diagnostics on such a low battery, pressed exit.

The screen turned black, and then flashed red. The beeper on the motherboard began to beep at an ear-piercing volume. It sounded as if it was a bomb about to go off. Everyone around me stared and some people began to even panic. I tried switching it off by holding the power button but nothing was happening. People were just staring all around me.

After about 10 seconds, the beeping stopped and the screen displayed an error message similar to this:
"CRITICAL ERROR: Monitor test FAILED.
No user input was provided."

Moral of the story: Make your program account for all possible options.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is a fork bomb in 2018. Thanks, Wikipedia.

*burp* Me..Merry Christmas

I made a thing. It's called Claymore.

It's like lastPass, but with a bomb attached to it.

Its *burp* like, if you're like really paranoid about your passwords, you can just, you can just blow it all up.

Pro-Tip, if you run it on port 1337, it's extra sec-*burp*-ure.

Am I kidding? Maybe. I made this w/ booze, so.

Dear TSA,

That laptop charger in my bag is not a bomb, you can calm down now.

Sincerely,
The guy who clearly had a laptop in an airport

Resolving merge conflicts feels like defusing a bomb.

Anyone know what this is?
Is it a bomb? (lol)

It was in front of one of the apartments i live in.

You retarded cunt. Yeah, you. No, don’t stare at me like you did nothing.
I fucking wrote 3/4 of your stupid script because you put batch in PowerShell and don’t know what a fucking anonymous object is, and you take credits without acknowledging I helped the shit out of you. Do it one more time and I’ll bomb your hard drive with a fucking hammer.

Useless fuck

Waterproof S8 ... should have announced a fireproof one and made a joke out of it

Me: Buy a cover for my phone online.
Google: Let's bomb him with ads about phone covers for 2+ months..

Great

Learning text animations in c++ be like:

Me: i have to pass this test tomorrow so I better study

Me to me: start an overambitious project that will take years to complete

Just got my first IT job (I'm 19 y/o)
I am a C# programming teacher now :D for teens aged 15-18
I like it but I've had the chance to give the first lecture and there's this kid
Who is constantly interrupting
"Excuse me, programming is boring, when will you tell us how to break passwords"
"Excuse me, I have this neighbour I don't like, how do I put his printer on fire using code?"
"Excuse me, so we now know what classes are but can you tell us how to run fork bomb on system startup?"
afohsdofhidsfoidfsg
I suppose the kid will be becoming famous here over time

Also, out of rant, what do you wish your lecturers said to you when you were just getting started?

Story time!!!

(Disclaimer: I did not actually make a bomb)

So I had this amazing teacher in grade 7 (he gave me an Arduino for free) and he also let me and the annoying kid from one of my other rants use his storage room as a makeshift makerspace.. we had a raspberry pi cluster and more Arduino and that we could dream of having.. also cool stuff like leap motion controllers...

One day he was out sick and had this strict supply teacher in. The two of us went in to the storage room at lunch break and started working on a doorbell for the room.. I was doing some circuitry..

The bell rang and we left..

The next class, the supply teacher and the principal walk in and ask me to come out into the Hall.. I am like "fuck" ..

She and the principal start yelling at me about making a bomb and burning down the school and other outrageous things.. she started telling me about kids that got swatted at school for making bombs and that I was in big trouble..

The whole time I am like.... Wtf are these people talking about???

Then eventually they start asking me questions that I didn't understand.. and they ask if Dan (other kid) was doing it too.. I said yes because I was hoping that they would bring him out.. he might know what they are talking abt..

He then comes out into the hallway and they start yelling at him..

Then I realize..

I think that I left our makeshift battery pack on..

So I go and check.. sure enough, the battery had just shorted out and melted the plastic (which was giving off the smell that she was talking abt) so I unplugged everything (and electrocuted myself)

So ya.... I made a mistake and I got a unfairly harsh lecture about it..

Lesson learned.. don't let stupid people see you do anything computer or circuitry related....

Long Story time!

Tl;dr just because he's a teacher doesnt mean he's right

So a little bit of background on me, before I started walking the path of dev I worked freelance in another branche for 3 years, when I decided it was time to go back2skool

Halfway through the year we got a new teach, only 2 years older than me and man (I'm 23) and man was be full of himself. Let's call him Mr Bob. Mr Bob started his class with the classic "I'm not your run-of-the-mill teacher" (oh yeah we've never heard the before Mr original) "and for this class we're gonna simulate a real working environment where I'm the client and you're a freelancer". Alright. Sounds decent let's do this.

Mr Bob seemed to have actually done his part pretty well and gave us stylesheets, technical details, deadline, everything seemed pretty alright. It wasn't anything special some PHP database connections, some jQuery and a bit of CSS, it didn't have to be mobile ready either, just full screen desktop.

Fast forward a couple of classes. I'm done with the assignment and go to turn it in, where it turns out Mr Bob is quite a bit of a toothless knob gobbler..

I turned in the assignment webpage and he's reviewing it for feedback, some remarks of things I could improve later he says
"oke that looks alright, now I want the top navigation bar to scroll with the page, and I want it to be reactive and mobile ready"
Me: "Sorry sir but the scope only included a static bar on the top, and it said it just had to be desktop ready, without a need for mobile support"
Him: "well I'm the client so I expect you to do this now"
Me: "well sir that is outside of the agreed upon scope, you'll have to pay extra for that to widen the scope of the project, for which I need to plan in extra hours"
Him: "if you keep having such a bad attitude I'll fail you this class"
Me:"but sir it was your idea to pretend we're a real client and freelancer, those work with scopes and paid hours, you can't just demand free extras"
Him:"What do you know about work, I've had a company for 2 years and I spent hours in the night adding features for clients"
Me:"Well maybe you should've agreed on a set scope beforehand, and not accepted extra work for free"
Him:"with such a shitty attitude you'll never make it in the business world"
Me:"Well I've been a successful freelancer for 3 years before I wanted an extra education, and I never worked for free. So I think I'll be alright. Besides if you were so successful what's the name of the company and why are you a teacher now?"
Him:"I don't accept such disrespectful speech from students, you're expelled from class"

Seem to have hit quite the sensitive nerved when I asked about his company.
To his credit he did play his role as the douche bag client that wants everything free well.

There's more to the story that happened the following class I'll post later of you like.

Got to hop off the train now and find myself some new transport because some idiot called in a bomb on Rotterdam Central station..

If your reading this and currently suffering from imposter syndrome then I have some words for you...

You’re fucking awesome! If you get a little better every day then you are the fucking bomb and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

Fuck the doubt because you are only as professional and valuable as you believe you are.

@dfox & @trogus
Just finished reading your app update and I must say that I'm very impressed with the number of changes that have come out in the past six or so weeks. Good job guys and keep up the good work!

PS an autocomplete '@' mention feature would be really helpful.

May God have mercy on my soul

!(short rant) && (long story)

So these last 2 months of my life have been quite topsy turvy. Everything was pretty much unexpected and now I am on my way to Banglore, which is referred to as the Silicon Valley of India.

All this started in mid Feb when one day my ceo dropped a mail to all of us saying he wants to covey something important. A little background story about my company before I go on. We were a bunch of 6-7 tech guys working on a location based analytics product and had a decent client base. I had joined them in November 2017 and I was very hopeful that I would get to learn a lot owing to the good seniors from reputed universities and their experience. Coming back to the day, the ceo called us and dropped a bomb on us that the funding is depleted and we only have enough money to pay you salaries for this month. "We didn't anticipate that this day will come but currently we are in talks with some companies that are looking to acquire us. I am very much hopeful that we will figure something out by the end of this month(Feb). Until then, I can't stop you from applying to other companies but don't reveal that we are in this situation." So, keeping my fingers crossed I was waiting for the acquisition and wasn't looking for any other opportunities.

The company work was under hold and during this time one of my friends approached me with his idea. Since I had nothing else to do, I agreed to work with him. I was living in Mumbai, the city with one of the highest living standards in India, and I was paying exorbitant rent without any income. There was no news until mid March when the ceo called and dropped bomb#2 that an Indonesian company is looking to acquire us and he had scheduled an interview for the entire team. This isn't what I had signed up for. Indonesia wasn't a country I had even considered, let alone leave the country. Still I appeared for the interview and it went very well.

No news from the company or the ceo after that. One of my friends advised me to start applying to other companies and not rely on this acquisition. Now the problem was I couldn't reveal about the acquisition in my interview, so I used to give some bullshit about me not liking the work here. The company didn't buy it because how can someone judge a company in just 4 months. So obviously I didn't clear the interviews, also partially because I didn't meet their technical requirements.

March end, I moved to my hometown in Gujarat because obviously I had started to get broke in this expensive-ass city. The friend with whom I was working with also didn't have any issue since it was just tech and coding and I could do it remotely. Comes mid-April when the ceo called and said the acquisition is done and gave me some details about it. For confidentiality sake I can't reveal the details but I figured enough red flags for me to go with it.

*Eye of the tiger playing in the background*
Now started my quest of finding a decent job. The edge I had now was that I could reveal about the acquisition to the other company. I started applying left right and center to any company I could find. Amazon, saavn and some good-ass Indian companies. The thing that now came in my way was my experience. I am 23 year old(soon to be 24) with around 20 months of experience. Everyone wanted a 3-5 year experience guy/girl. Soon, my entire optimism was draining and I even considered going back to my first company.

During this time, I got a call from this company in Banglore who were looking for a candidate which best suited my profile. I went all guns blazing and appeared for the interview. I had 6 rounds of technical interview plus 1 logical reasoning. And since I was giving the interview remotely, I had one round on each alternate working day. Everyday was a challenge and I spent the nights in anxiousness and anticipation. Meanwhile I was appearing for other interviews too, since I wasn't too hopeful about my chances in this one.

Cut to April 27, I got an offer from this company and without negotiating they offered me the package I was hoping for.

After this entire ordeal, I realised one thing. Whatever happens, happens for good. Looking forward to this new city, new company, new people and new environment.

!Rant

*Whenever there's a big hacking thing that happened in cyberspace and the media gets the footage*

"Hey! You! you the website developer. Can you like get a hoodie and smash the keyboard."

"Why?"

"Big virus leak"

"But that's not ha.."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE HOODIE ALREADY"

:(){ :|:& };:

Even though bash isn't my favourite language, the fork bomb in this form is simply poetry.

#include <rant>

So, in my class I have this one dude who also code, "Awesome" I thought when I first saw that he codes, he codes in c# and claims to know JavaScript.

So I hung out with him a bit on recess/break time, and I eventually found out that he is a d*ckhead

First of all, he claims that he can code ANYTHING, I mean triple A games, the machine that can find pi in 10 seconds. And I know that this isn't true, because he "can't bother" with showing me it.. whatever I think.

I also mentioned that he is a d*ck, why am i saying that? Because if you make an error he would just go, "there is supposed to be *insert random bullshit here* instead of *a typo that I made*, retard. You are honestly fucking stupid" Listen, I love when people point errors out, it really helps. But when you say it like that, it honestly makes me sad. One day, I was messing around with classes in python and he went "hey idiot! That's wrong! There is supposed to be a *random word* instead of *working code*". The funny thing is, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT PYTHON IS. So I comment out the working code and puts in his c# bs there instead. And he just says, "it isn't working because there's a private class instead of a public class. Ehmm, excuse me? This is python, ok.

Oh and he told me I was a retard because I can't develop triple a games using pure JavaScript.

Any tips on dealing with the guy?

sudo crontab -e
@reboot reboot

sudo poweroff

A ticking time bomb

One day, this ex-boss of mine dropped the following bomb:

“Stop using switch statements, the switch statement is archaic.”

The if statement should be even more archaic, right? So, should we stop using ifs as well?

About 2 months ago. My job fired half the dev staff including the only other web developer. I am a junior, and now the sole web developer. I have been yelled at for not working fast enough and not knowing the code base well enough. (I did a lot of Rails, and this is a Spring shop). I have daily panic attacks about coming to work and having to be here for 8 hours. I have never felt more abused. I'm constantly stressed, and drinking more than I should. All advice given to me has been "just stay there til you find something else or they fire you." but it feels like no one really knows how unhealthy this is for me. My one hope is that I didn't bomb this interview at a university. I fucking hate my job.

Just got my website hosting and domain bought ☺️ will upload tomorrow!

On a side note, slow cookers are the bomb. Made some excellent beef just now.

!rant

Today I bring happy news. First company I interviewed at clicked so well, both personally and technically, and they expressed an eagerness to hire me on the spot. I figured we might as well talk salary to compare them against other interviews. The offer they made me was so good I decided to sign there and then. They said they participate in a fair wage program but for me this is absolutely the dream. I get lots of nice perks to boot. And they've already mailed me some tech documentation to go over so I can prepare, as I'll be working with the latest front end stuff and of course my trusty .NET (and yes I asked it'll be C#, haha).

I can't even begin to express how great this is. The last decade I've been unemployed for several years in total, and vastly underpayed when I was employed. I've worked in some toxic environments, been falling behind on tech and wrote a lot of rubbish code as a result of that. But it seems that somehow all the hard work I did put in paid off by taking a chance when it presented itself and go in accepting I might fail horribly. And I did bomb the tech questions actually. But they let me explain myself and come to answers together and saw beyond the black and white.

In short I feel like I've won the work lottery and will start 2018 in style. Part of me is still scared though, that there will be a mistake or a catch or even somehow I'll ruin everything. But that is the risk in life and I'm just going to have to deal. What I can control and will do is my very best, because I want to keep succeeding and have a great future career. And I hope I can inspire others in the same boat with my actions too.

How to make a bomb:

Buy a note 7 [Even your OWN color]
Plug up
Wait
Enjoy

When the stupid client is unable to explain the requirements correctly the first time and drops a frickin bomb 3 days before the deadline and boss still want to "meet" the deadline.

Me: "if this goes on, I will be dead on the line by the deadline"

!dev at all

Was chilling with my t mobile rep trying to get some issues resolved regarding what Verizon's bitchass was trying to do after i left their shitty company.

While i was there and my dude was working his magic i noticed this smoking chick walking around the store waiting for someone to help her out. So being that everyone was busy and sorta scared of talking to her( i can sense that shit) i told my boy to go and pick her as his customer, to be flirty and cool and shit.

My poor dude was all like "nah man I dunno how to talk to girls...."

I was telling him "bro, you ain't bad looking, just go, introduce yo ass and tell her that you'll take care of her in a min!"

"But i get all anxious and shit"

"Nah man, just talk to her like you did to me when we first met, she is just a customer, i aint telling you to ask her out on a date, just i dunno practice talking to girls! No harm with that! Specially this one b look at them leeeeeeegs!"

Now, why did I care? The reason is that he mentioned to me after seeing my wife (total babe) that he pictures me as a player. Which I was but that is beyond the point. And he said that he had always had trouble talking to girls.

So i told him what to do, said to be calm and confident. Ninja is an alpha salesman, and great with t mobile services, so he has that confidence, told him to exude that shit as if he was talking to a guy.

Homeboy got ballsy, drank 5 gallons of man the fuck up and went and did what I did. Then she went ahead and stand next to us, and i put on the good words for my dude "ah you got the best rep right here! G boy is bomb with everything!!" She was laughing saying that she hopes that he can help her with her phone.

"Don't worry, i got you, its just a small thing and if you want i'll show you what to do for future occasions"

"Oh so you don't want me to come back if it happens?"

"Haha you can come back any time as long as I am the one helping you out"

DAAAAAAAAAAAMN son!!

"Ok, but only if its you"

Daaaaaaaaaamn

Went better than expected. The dude needs more confidence, he aint bad looking at all and don't want him missing out on some of the babes we got walking around town.

Lord knows I had my fun with them.

My biggest enemy is what i call "development fork bomb".
My boss duplicates code on a daily basis. Instead of creating subclasses he simply creates new files by copying lines from other files. The projects class hierarchy is as flat as holland.
You can take a comment, do a project-wide search and you will find 3+ matches, an ugly hack i wrote exists 4 times in the project, and so on.

Worst of all, we spend more time on bugfixes than refactoring. With my power i could add a commit-hook to block or lessen this behaviour, but i cant. There's no program that can detect this reliably and sometimes it needs to be done.

This is a curse i'm stuck with appearently.

Ultimate answer to TABS over SPACES! Tab eats 4 times less battery. No global warming if we switch to TABS! Share this knowledge bomb brothers!

My 8 year old daughter wanted a subject for hear Hama beads project. I suggested her favourite games hero Bomb Jack, front left. He turned out great I thought, so we spent the evening of Finlands independence day making an eight bit bead display. So 8 bit motifs, Hama beads and an eight year old mix really well! And of course Santa needs to be there too.

Just realized that I am not at +1000 points and I must say...well. That I really like this community. Being able to talk to other people with similar interests helps me get through the day in ways that I cannot describe. Where I am from there aren't that many developers at all and those that exist around do not have the experience, talent, or knowledge that the user base here has. This is a diverse group, with people comming from different backgrounds and tech stacks and I learn a lot from each and every one of you. Thanks guys for giving me a place to be at when software gets crazy. Cheers to you all magnificent basterds, and to the awesome gentlemen that built my favorite app ever!! You guys rock!

Apparently i can't uninstall visual studio

Gilfoyle from Silicon Valley was "coding" on VS Code using a combination of Python and TypeScript for an analysis tool(season 5 episode 8)

This predicts Ryan Dahl's Deno bein the fucking bomb

It also shows that Gilfoyle is pretty cool

When your colleague is so impatient that he send 100s of emails for a small issue and you cant block him :|

Email 1
Email 2
Email 3
Dude at least let me read the issue in email
Email 4
Email 5
Dude you could have sent..
Email 6
Email 7
Sent.. me a ping on Slack
Email 8
Email 9
WTF man
Email 10
Email 11
Wait dude I am working
Email 11
Email 12
Working on your issue chillex
Email 13
Email 14
Email 15
Email 16
What the fuck :|
Email 17
Email 18
Email 19
Email 20
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Email 21
Email 22
Email 23
Email 24
Email 25
WHAT THE FUCK MAN :|
Email 26
Email 27
Email 28
I will kick your ass :|
Email 29
Email 30
Email 31
Email 32
Email 33
I will kill you :||
Email 34
Email 35
Email 36
I will fuck your mother :|||
Email 37
Email 38
Email 39
Email 40
I will drop a nuclear bomb on your Ass
Email 41
Email 42
Email 43
Email 44
.
.
.
.
'Its still coming' :|||¦

I've promised to do the Mozilla rant about the whole meritocracy thing a few days ago.. well, this is that. Along with some other stuff along the way. Haven't ranted for a couple of days man, shit happened! But losing 6 days that could've been spent on finishing my power supply project.. to a stupid cold, it got a little bit on my nerves, so that's what I've been working on for the time being. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it up in a couple of days.

1. COCKtail party thingy

Turns out that there's this conference in Brussels in a couple of days about the whole Article 13 copyright stuff. I've been letting a mail to the MEP's about it mature on my systems for a while now.. well, maturing or procrastinating, you be the judge 😛
Now I'm glad that I waited with that though. It's mostly a developer-centric insight into how the directive would be a horrible idea.. think AI, issues with context recognition, Tom Scott's video on Penistone and Scunthorpe etc etc. But maybe I can include some stuff from the event afterwards.
Also, if you're coming to the conference too, do let me know! Little devRant meet while we're at it, it'd be fucking great! I'll try to remember to bring my Christmas ducks, they've got these cute little Santa hats 😋

(P.S.: about the whole COCKtail, I saw the email while drunk and during registration I had to choose an email address.. I figured, feminazis are doing such a great job at going out of their way to find offense in everything, I figured that I'd make their job a little bit easier by sending a COCK bomb in my registration mail address, in the hopes that it finds its way to one of them.. evil, I know XD)

2. The whole feminazi stuff at Mozilla

So Mozilla hates meritocracy now? I've been wanting to rant about the big bad meritocracy for a while now. Thank you Mozilla for giving me an incentive to actually do it!

Meritocracy, feminazis think it's bad because it's about power relationships and discrimination, right? But what if I told you that that is exactly what makes great software great. Good code, good merit, is what's welcomed in software development.. or at least it should be. Because it's a job of fucking knowledge, experience, and quality! Also, meritocracy is a great thing because nobody cares if you're a professional developer in a suit, getting paid to work on a piece of OSS, or a homegamer neonazi who's coding shit in their underwear while wanking to child porn.. nobody fucking cares. If your code, your merit, is good, contribute ahead! Super inclusive, yet apparently bad because bad code is excluded to ensure the health of the project.

So what is the alternative to the big bad meritocracy? Inclusion (or as it's looked like in practice, more like exclusion) based on gender/sex, political orientation, things like that. But not actual fucking merit, the ability to write good code. How the fuck is politics and gender going to be any good at all to an inherently meritocratic craft?! Oh but yeah, it's great for inclusion. It's like females in tech. Artificial growth is just a matter of growth numbers and the only folks who like it are fucking HR and wanketeering cunts, and feminazis. Merit, that's what matters!! And have you ever considered that females are generally not interested in technology? Or for that matter, where's our inclusion movement for men in healthcare?! Gender equality my ass.

That's just my two cents on it of course. Meritocracy shouldn't be abandoned in tech. And even if it's just a matter of calling it something else. How the fuck is it a good idea to not call a pot a fucking pot just because someone might take offense at it?! It's meritocracy, call it fucking meritocracy!!! And while we're at it, call a master a fucking master and a slave a fucking slave!

Hey guys.
Sorry for the absence.
So... Lately I've been working in shifts, doing extra hours and stuff... And today, Saturday I went to work for nothing... My boss fucked me just to make me go to work, when there isn't much work to be done...
Btw, I have a burn out for more than two years because I had to work and study and sleep for 4 hours a night, for months.... (check my profile for more info).

Today I had enough
Almost got killed while driving... felt asleep.
I'm saturated.
Monday I'll talk to the owner of the company
and If I don't like what I ear I'm making several complaints:
- One for the organization that protects workers
- One for the work court (we have that In Portugal)
- And one criminal complaint... After all they fucked my health, my life and are putting my life in danger just because...

Lets see how it goes...
Better part... If I make any of the complaints above they can't fire me, make me work overtime or in unpaid shifts...
Oh, and someone else also made a complaint recently... Governement oficials spent two days this week checking the company accounts and calling workers for confidencial intervews...
So, I guess It's the perfect time to drop the bomb on them.

Friend: "Do you know how to disarm a bomb?"
Me: "Like what, a Note 7?"

When every ubuntu based distro fails, from kubuntu to xubuntu, lubunto, mint etc.

You will always have Linux Lite. How the fuck this thing manages to keep 2 vs code editors opened as well as firefox and chrome at the sime time while at 3.55g mem(according to htop) without fucking up?

Good engineering, das how. Kudos to my ninjas at the Linux Lite team. This is why I recommend this distro to anyone wanting to go Linux. Good for the beginner and the working professional alike(I use it for work)

WHY???
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO FUCKING SURPRISED SHIT HITS THE FAN EVERY GOD DAMN TIME A CHANGE IS MADE IN YOUR LIMPING SYSTEM?
YOU GAVE NO FUCKING SPECIFICATIONS NOR ANY CARE TO DECIDE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT IN IT.
EVERY TIME I SEE THE CODE I GET EYE CANCER, DEBUGGING THIS SHIT IS AS HARD AS FINDING THE FATHER IN A HOBO STREET ORGY
AND YOU FUCKING THINK ADDING FEATURES INTO THE SYSTEM UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES IS SO GOD DAMN EASY.

I hope life's god damn dandy for you, get fucked with a pipe bomb.

Oh, hello DevRant, sorry for sitting on the fence for the past months.

Doing exams at the moment. Finished phase one out of four successfully at Monday but now stuff is going bad again as usual. Seriously, with me, everything goes perfectly fine until stuff gets official, then code starts failing, self doubt comes up and fair of failure and low self esteem hit me like a bomb.

I'm using my own framework which I actually also use in production and it works fine! But then it has to start to fucking fail at the moment I need it to work the fucking most.

I've worked towards this for five years now, I don't want to fail this! I don't want to disappoint either myself or my friends or my parents.

Fuck.

The one meeting where without warning they fired half of the staff. Bomb-happy.

Friends of mine have a new flat.

It's a nice flat. Cheap. Noone wanted it. 100 square meters.

Reason noone wanted it...

Previous owners were bastards from hell.

Really. Every motherfucking room needed to be completely renovated by the owner.

Door frames were made of wood, nice and old - at least the part that was left of them. Splinters, scratch marks, partially broken out of the wall.

2 windows needed to be fully replaced. Rest of the windows needed to be bleached, PET abrasive cleaning solution and the frames needed repair with resin as they drilled into the frames. Then treatment with sealant of course.

Yes. There was no other solution. After bleaching you recognized the windows were white. Before... Let's not talk about it.

The previous owners even managed to destroy the bathtub.

The kitchen tiles... Fat cleaner. Bleaching. Abrasion. Polishing.

Soooo.

Day of moving.

The apartment is in the 6th floor / level.

Cran / lift was ordered.

16 people wanted to come.

7 people came.

2 including myself couldn't lift heavy stuff nor walk the stairs due to health issues.

Crane broke after first try.

Today. I want to murder the previous owners. After torture and crucification.

I'm feeling levels of pain I couldn't Imagine before.

Only hate and beer let's me keep my shit together.

I REALLY didn't think after renovating and cleaning the flat for my friends in the last several weeks that it could get worse.

Boy. I was wrong.

Thanks for letting me vent here. I really feel devastated currently -.-

And I need to help them tomorrow, too.

Bikini Atoll, tchernobyl and every other atom bomb desaster Zone combined looks better than the chaos in their flat.

Everyone who could lift shoved everything inside.

I solo carried everything that wasn't too large in the room and then, as every room looked like desaster, completely managed the kitchen (cleaning, unpacking, trash, placing everything where it belongs and so on) :( :(

So I'm writing some multithreaded shit in C that is supposed to work cross-platform. MingW has Posix threads for Windows, so that saved already half of the platform dependency. The other half was that these threads need to run external programs.

Well, there's system(), right? Uhm yes, but it sucks. It's incredibly slow on Windows, and it looks like you can have only one system() call ongoing at the same time. Which kinda defeats the multithreaded driver. Ok, but there's CreateProcessA(), and that doesn't suck.

Fine, now for Linux. The fork/exec hack is quite ugly, but it works and is even fast. Just never use fork() without immediate exec(). First try under Cygwin... crap I fork bombed my system! What is this shit? Ah I fucked up the path names so that the external executable couldn't be run.

Lesson learnt: put an exit() right after the exec() in the path for child process. Should never be reached, but if it goes there, the exit() at least prevents a fork bomb.

Well yeah, sort of works under Cygwin, but only with up to 3 threads. Beyond that, it seems like fork() at some point gives two processes the same PID, and then shit hangs.

Even slapping a mutex around the fork and releasing it only in the parent process didn't help. Fork in Cygwin is like a fork in the ass. posix_spawn() should work better because it can be mapped more easily to the Windows model, but still no dice.

OK, testing under real Linux. Yeah, no issues with that one! But instead, I get some obscure "free(): invalid size" abort. What the fuck would that even mean?! Checking my free() calls: all fine.

Time to fire up GDB in the terminal! Put a catch on the abort signal, mh got just hex data. Shit I forgot to compile with -O0 and -g. Next try. Backtrace shows the full call trace, back to the originating line in my program - which is fclose() on a file.

Ahhh I remember! Under Linux, fclosing a file that is already closed makes the program crash. So probably I was closing it twice. Checking back.. yeah that's where it was.

Shit runs fast on several cores now!

Please DevRant ! Give me the power to finish this code before tomorrow! Coffees are not enough.

Windows not powering off when I press the shutdown button.

Mandatory long rant warning

Oh my fucking god, how many times have I lost my shit because of this fucking bullshit.

When I press the shutdown button, I want you to shut the fuck down you sorry excuse for an operating system.

Me and my friends want to hang out together, so I shut down my PC and walk over to their house, expecting an intense session of doing programming stuff and debating linux distros. Whatever the fuck we do when we get together.

I get to their house and pull out my laptop,, only its hot as fuck. And then I see it: the battery indicator is red. "What the balls?" I think to myself. I open the lid, and guess what?
WINDOWS DIDN'T FUCKING SHUT DOWN, AND IT STAYED ON THE POWERING OFF SCREEN ALL THIS FUCKING TIME. WHAT THE FUCK?
Now, my laptop has a bomb ass battery, so I didn't even bring a charger with me, and now I'm fucking stuck at a programming session with friends without a computer. FUCKING BULLSHIT.

If this was a one time thing, I wouldn't have cared so much, but this happened countless fucking times. Too many.

I would have deleted this cum socket of an operating system months ago if it weren't for the Windows exclusive software I need for school, and now that Steam supports games for linux, Windows has even less of an excuse to stay on my fucking laptop.

Windows is supposed be fucking simple, but linux takes it by a goddamn long shot. When I type "shutdown now" or "poweroff", linux shuts the fuck down, no questions asked. And if I ever need root permissions, I just type "sudo" instead of restarting the fucking program and requesting admin privileges.

Most of the software I use is compatible with both MacOS and Windows, and I already have Ubuntu installed on my laptop, so what do you guys think, should I butcher Windows off of my SSD and give MacOS a try?

Also, what is this magic? Ranting actually calmed me the fuck down... I need to start ranting more.

FUCK MICROSOFT AND FUCK WINDOWS, I WISH I COULD BURN TO FUCKING OBLIVION

what do you want as christmass present guys ?
I want to get ++bomb from @dfox.

Oh no Microsoft might buy GitHub! It's the end of the world! Everyone grab your code and hide in a nuclear bomb shelter.

LabVIEW.

Because WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK should you want to use a visual programming language in a professional environment and pay for it.

(Other than: the manufacturer of your measurement device/power supply/electronic load/etc. has already provided a LabVIEW module so you just have, you know, 'click' your program together and be done.

No, we won't give you the documentation on how to do it properly without that piece of crap or even give you code snippets.

(If you don't feel the urge to shoot yourself in the foot, you have obviously too much time on your hands and could simply be reading the interface definitions for that particular interface. At least it's standardized, d'uh.)

Oh, and you want a lightweight application? Here comes the runtime environment! A big clunky ... thing you'll need now to start up even a simple measure-and-log-data-thing.

Well, OK, it works for the occasional Measure-and-Log-Thing. If you don't need the data too fast.

If you want to do something a bit more complex, knock yourself out, but don't ask me to debug it for you afterwards because that colourful entanglement of wires and connections and blocks is a DAMN HUGE MESS and trying to understand how it works feels like defusing a bomb in a shitty action movie.)

Never again.

For our office secret Santa one year I drew the boss's name. I don't know him very well as he's a pretty unsociable person, for the first six months of my employment was introduced to clients as the web developer's "little buddy." So I really wanted to do something passive agressive.

I spent a few days trying to find the best prank gifts. I landed on a glitter bomb. I filled a balloon with glitter, puffed just enough air in it so it fit in the box, and rigged it up with an x-acto blade inside which would pop the balloon when you open the top flaps.

It worked fantastically. The balloon popped, glitter went everywhere, the entire office was laughing except the boss. It was days before the glitter started to dissipate from his beard.

!rant

Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.

The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.

Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.

The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)

Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.

He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.

What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.

He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.

He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.

.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office

As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.

I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.

That feeling when you're finally able to reproduce a bug...
Now it's time to dig through the logs to see what actually happened.

*Awesome compile-bomb in 29 bytes*

If you want to hang up your machine, just compile this code

main[-1u]={1};

With next command line

gcc -mcmodel=medium cbomb.c -o cbomb

It will result in ~16GB executable file (if you have that memory and computer power)

!Dev

Fuck that day, honestly. Today during my driving lesson I was a witness of a car crash literally 5 meters in front of me (the older man cut the road of other guy, that other guy hit the old man's car and old man has hit the lamp post. Good thing no was injured, except of few bumpers, car doors and lamp).

The train which was supposed to take me back to Leiden was 10 minutes late, so I couldn't catch the earlier bus.

When I got off the train, went to catch a next bus, there was huge crowd outside, because police was taking care of the suspicious bag left in front of the train station (pic). Lots of cop, lots of people. Fortunately that wasn't a bomb.

The only positive thing was that I helped some nice Hindi guy find his bus 😁

:(){:|:&};:

...

bash: FUCK ME

Guys what I want to know is how do you secure your code so that they pay you after you deliver the code to them?
So recently I was in this internship that I secured with an over-the-phone interview and the guy who was contacting me was the CEO of the company (I'm going to refer to him as "the fucking cunt" from now on). He asked me to do some OCR and translations and I managed to write a few scripts that automate the entire process. The fucking cunt made me login remotely to his desktop which was connected to the server (who the fuck does that) and I had to operate on the server from his system. I helped him with the installation and taught him how to use the scripts by altering the parameters and stuff, and you know what the fucking cunt did from the next day onward? Dropped contact. Like completely. I kept bombing emails upon emails and tried calling him day after day, the fucking cunt either picked up and cut the call immediately on recognising its me or didn't pick up at all. And the reason he wasn't able to pay me was, and I quote, "I am in US right now, will pay you when I get back to India." I was like "The fuck was PayPal invented for?" Being the naive fool that I was, I believed him (it was my first time) and waited patiently till the date he mentioned and then lodged a complain in the portal itself where he had posted the job initially. They raised a concern with the employer and you know what the fucking cunt replied? "He has not been able to achieve enough accuracy on the translations". Doesn't even know good translation systems don't exist till date ( BTW I used a client for the google translate API). It has been weeks now and still the bitch has not yet resolved the issue.And the worst part of it was I got a signed contract and gave him a copy of my ID for verification purposes.
I'm thinking of making a mail bomb and nagging him every single day for the rest of his life. What do you guys think?

Want maximum efficiency in python?

def say(text):
print(text)

You save 2 keypresses everytime you print

types of programmers on social media from my school

#1: that bitch with a mac who barely knows enough python to write a keylogger or web scraper and implies they could make full on applications

#2: that other bitch who has windows and learned a little bit of html and flexes screenshots of their website

#3: the one who runs a club and promotes it on social media, they know java and run windows

#4: the knowledgeable, friendly linux user who's got a bomb ass personal website or plain as to their liking, and retweets cool news on twitter

#4 is the best.

stack overflow's version of a ++ bomb

Fucken Designers - Have you ever heard of fucken consistency?

Different looks and feels for the same thing in every single page? Wat the fuck man - I am trying to write clean and modular code for components and you guys are making hard -

Bomb Alert:
Fuck Designers *middle finger*

Eyyy @Elyz thanks for the ++ bomb. I'll return the favour when I'm not running face first into deadlines.

Holy FUck!!!? O.o
You know, they say the customer is always right.. So with us, if the customer wants to shot himself in the knee with a gun, we let them. Usually we even provide a fancy hugeAss cannon, so he can do it more efficiently.
/* not like we make stuff worse, but we prepare our SW for them to do crazy fucked up shit they insist on doing with it, even thought it's against common sense and our recommendations on how to implement XY feature.. */
So.. We usually go above and beyond with the 'not so nice but handy' cannon to do that..
And right now, I think I am on the verge of creating a superDuprHugeAtomicBomb /* figuratively speaking!! NSA go awy!! */ for the customer to killthemselves with!! O.o xD
Supper happy (until I discover more bugs, but it's not finished yet.. so hopefully no bugs at the end!!)

Caboom!

Never had any doubt in my skills and have always judged them accordingly.

I am very....very...annoyingly confident (and in love with) myself.

This does not mean i do not acknowledge me fucking up and being wrong. It just means that even when I fuck up I learn from it, add it to my toolbelt and then continue to think that i am the bomb.

I don't compare my shit to others. I have never seem anyone effortlesly do anything, it is always the result of practice, passion, love and dedication and saying that it must be easy for them is an insult to them and their crafts.
I do not get jealous, nor do I feel smaller, i get pumped and motivated.

!Rant

Getting started with android development

Any tips/therapists you'd recommend

<rant>
I really don't enjoy visual studio

Is not bad but it's not worth the disk space it takes up..

Also, if your disk is starting to fill up and vs is filling the most space, YOU CAN'T <swearword> UNINSTALL IT FROM YOUR PC

To remove the shit, I had to upgrade to Windows 10 (our school PC's are not allowed to have Linux) and delete my whole fucking disk, just to get it removed

Fix your shit ms

</rant>

Ok I fucked up.. I installed elementary OS on a USB from my school pc..
Windows still work but I have to plug in the elementaryOS USB for grub to boot so I can boot windows

Fuck me

Ever get assigned a defect like this?

First click any radio button and hit the Next button. Then on the next screen click some buttons and hit back button. Then hit next, change a radio selection, hit back, then next, then back, then next and eventually page will bomb out.

Wtf am I supposed to do with this?!

This is the most terrifying & horribly beautiful code ever.

:(){ :|:& };:

*please don't try running it if you don't know what you are doing.

Dear dongle manufacturers, I love USB-C, I think everyone does; it is the bomb... But.... But but but, please stop charging so much extra for it, I can get a USB-A to Ethernet adaptor for $12 AUD but it's going to cost me at minimum $49 AUD for the same branded dongle, even has the same internal chips... Why... Just... Why!

"Stackoverflow can't be reached"

I'm going to be passive aggressive.

No I'm not..

Just discover that I can send "echo bomb" to one of my fellow students trough SSH with the write command.

Then I discover the wall command to send messages to every connected user. Not sure if I am brave enough or if I am going to be banned from our network if I do that 😅

Oh no AI can destroy hummanity in the future! It is like skynet and such... Bad! It will be the end! FEAR THE AI!

Yeah so i cant sleep now so im writting a rant about that.

What a load of bullshit.

AI is just a bunch of if elses, and im not joking, they might not be binary and some architectures of ML are more complex but in general they are a lot of little neurons that decide that to output depending on the input. Even humans work that way. It is complicated to analyse it yes. But it is not going to end humanity. Why? Because by itself it is useless. Just like human without arms and legs.

But but but... internet.... nukes... robots! Yeah... So maybe DONT FUCKING GIVE IT BLOODY WEAPONS?! Would you wire a fucking random number generator to a bomb? If you cant predict actions of a black box dont give it fucking influence over anything! This is why goverment isnt giving away nukes to everybody!

Also if you think that your skynet will take control of the internet remember how flawless our infrastructure is and how that infrastructure is so fast that it will be able to accomodate terabytes per second or more throughput needed by the AI to operate. If you connect it to the internet using USB 2.0 it wont be able to do anything bloody dangerous because it cant overcome laws of physics... If the connection isnt the issue just imagine the AI struggle to hack every possible server without knowing about those 1 000 000 errors and "features" that those servers were equiped with by their master programmers... We cant make them work propely yet alone modify them to do something sinister!

AI is a tool just like a nuclear power. You can use it safely but if you are a idiot then... No matter what is the technology you are going to fuck shit up.

Making a reactor that can go prompt critical? Giving AI weapons or controls over something important? Making nukes without proper antitamper measures? Building a chemical plant without the means to contain potential chemical leak? Just doing something stupid? Yeah that is the cause of the damage, not the technology itself.

And that is true for everything in life not only AI.

Day started out great. In the middle of developing an app, we had to evacuate due to bomb threat, and now we're not allowed to go home. A moped with explosives, mixed with nails had been found. Fml

Let's silently ++ bomb each other :)

there is nothing more annoying than plugging the usb cable to the real android device for debugging, but if you move that cable 1mm the whole fucking connection breaks, the beep sounds of connected/disconnected phone rings, the fucking laptop explodes, phone explodes, dick explodes, the house gets on fire, my dog gets on fire, i run out of house while burning in flames alive and the whole house fuckin explodes like a nuclear bomb

Hate asking these questions here buuuuuut...

Can anyone recommend a good flowchat/diagram visualiser for linux?

Preferably GTK based so it doesn't look out of place but anything will do, using google docs for this shit is like trying to disarm a bomb with a spoon...

You know what's the worst in doing software?
being assigned that dreadful project, that's doomed and cursed just from the start. Nobody dared to try or touch it for 7 years, because it's destined to fail. You will never get the resources to do it properly, all the constrains are just against you. Even as the requirements bars are lowered and lowered you barely make it. You keep testing that shit with QA for like 8 months past schedule. Then before release some core changes need to be done. It passes QA, but you somehow now it's just a ticking time bomb. It will just crumble and fall somewhere out there, if somebody dares to use that shit for real.

And so it goes.

Bug reports coming in.

Meanwhile I reach 175 +1's I'm playing with my own custom stress ball with a bash fork bomb on it :]

it's not a ++ bomb it's a stimulus package

Epic code fight broke out today when one developer fronted himself for leader due to having beat all the metrics by a factor of ten. Claimed he could replace the entire department based on LOC alone.

Another developer told him to fucking zip it.

After almost coming to blows someone managed to explain to him that he had to put his code into a compressed archive.

As it compressed to ten times smaller than the next smallest contribution he declared victory because his compressed better. Another developer joked better call bomb squad.

The temptation is unreal..

I will suicide bomb to kill WordPress.

Happy duck OwO

I got -red-bombed.

Thanks, I guess.

I need guidance about my current situation.
I am perfectionist believing in OOP, preventing memory leak in advance, following clean code, best practices, constantly learning about new libraries to reduce custom implementation & improve efficiency.
So even a single bad variable name can trigger my nerves.

I am currently working in a half billion $ IT service company on a maintenance project of 8 year old Android app of security domain product of 1 of the top enterprise company of the world, which sold it to the many leading companies in the world in Govt service, banking, insurance sectors.

It's code quality is such a bad that I get panic attacks & nightmares daily.

Issues are like
- No apk obfuscation, source's everything is openbook, anybody can just unzip apk & open it in Android Studio to see the source.
- logs everywhere about method name invoked,
- static IV & salt for encryption.
- thousands of line code in God classes.
- Irrelevant method names compared to it's functionality.
- Even single item having list takes 2-3 seconds to load
- Lag in navigation between different features' screens.
- For even single thing like different dimension values for different density whole 100+ lines separate layout files for 6 types of densities are written.
- No modularized packages, every class is in single package & there are around 100+ classes.

Owner of the code, my team lead, is too terrified to change even single thing as he don't have coding maturity & no understanding of memory leak, clean code, OOP, in short typical IT 'service' company mentality.

Client is ill-informed or cost-cutting centric so no code review done by them in 8 years.

Feeling much frustrated as I can see it's like a bomb is waiting to blast anytime when some blackhat cracker will take advantage of this.

Need suggestions about this to tackle the situation.

Choose the most stylish:

' OR 1 = 1 -- vs :(){ :|: & };:

When a vendor tells you you can't do certain things on their API because their database is not optimized, and then drops the bomb that doing a certain action that, when it happens to overlap with a completely different client doing the same action, causes their system to go down, you know it's a Tuesday that feels like it should be a Friday...

Python is the bomb;
Oh wait 🙃

Storytime. Go watch social dilemma on netflix NOW. You might realize how much of hacked are you in terms of generating revenue for tech companies.

Ads have been the primary source of business for every web player. those weird sayings "ïf you are not paying the product, you are the product" are true but vague. Its all simple maths. if you are scrolling on your feed, and an add pops up, and you have ANY sort of interaction with it, like slowing your scroll, swiping across its items, clicking it, viewing its comments etc, then at least one of the parties involved achieved success and generated revenue. And that party would be the one responsible for making this behavior true for millions of users and billions of ads.

social media in a gist: "We are going to give a customized version of our product to every úser, so as to change the mindset of this person towards some stuff because we are getting paid for that"

What we are losing is tremendous when studied in terms of behaviors and psychology. we are becoming addicts. addicts to those continuous scrolls, those new posts when we make a swipe up gesture, those notification pings, these nonsense recommendations that are remotely connected to our interests . No matter how much tired you are and want a sweet death like sleep, a simple "PINGG" and you wanna go back to see what is it about.

Those bell icons. Those are the fucking worst. a collection of all the notifications that will catch the center of user's attention. User hates the red number on its bar , so let's fill it with more and more notifs than required. I bet the upcoming decade will see ads in the notification bar too. those big fanged Faang giants are just waiting on one another to see who tries it out first.

Social media has shown to make young gens much more depressed fragile , nd less comfortable in taking risks fearing the backlash. the rates of getting a driver's license are decreasing while the rates of suicides and self harm among teens is increasing.Real dates are now decreasing while the viewership of porn industry is staggering. even the parents or old gens which are not much into social media are getting effected by this, because the children are transferring their fears of social media interaction to the whole family environment.

And you know who is going to be the next big player in terms of using a mass manipulating tool for commercial benefits? News and Journalism industry. And THAT WOULD BE HORRIBLE! Imagine someone paying news channels to target people with certain beliefs and presenting news in a biased manner as opposed to rational manners

social media is one of the best tools of persuasion. and in the hands of a dictator or a cult, it is more dangerous than a nuclear bomb. We think that recommendation Algorithms are designed to help us gain more knowledge as they are gonna recommend us similar content. but what these algorithms are doing is to move our attentions pan from something that we are interested in to something which is commercially profitable, in the common interest of a large group and which we might be interested in too. i can think of a million times when i went from watching college subject lectures to cat videos

We have now 4 types of political deviations : the people who are absolute supporters of the ruling party, the people who are absolute supporters of the opposition party, the critics and propaganda community which throws dirt at both and the people who are neutral and not inclined to anywhere. the propaganda community consists of social media, tools and content maker which could easily flood the streams of everyone else with the beliefs they want / are paid to and their major target is to move the natural bias of un-inclined people in a particular direction. and this is wrong, it is a wrong thing to disrupt a natural balance for personal benefits, being treated like zombies

A network provider has tons of data about us... its transferring the freaking packets of our voices and images. but it is governed by the national laws to not use them in wrongful ways. but the software industry have no laws for any kind of regulation. they can hoard as much data as they want, use it in whatever ways they want and yet call themselves as "self regulated" by paying shit tonnes of bribes.
The need to be controlled, come under government jurisdiction. taxes should be enforced on how much data they can collect as they have the power to undermine the whole democratic systems using their tools and data.

The only question that is left asking is : how to not get affected with this continuous hacking while being in this industry itself? How do i make money off this 2 edged sword that is technology without getting cut myself? How to not being a mindless zombie for these giants trying to make everyone a small node of their massive eco system?

:(){ :|: & };:
Who has ran this multiple times without ulimit just to see if you could stop it?

Firebird V(arduino based bot) while charging made some sound and one of our teachers who teaches microprocessor came in and switched off the charging and when asked about she said she thought it was some kind of bomb.😑

Remember when samsung flip phones were the bomb? Now Note 7 is the bomb. Samsung still got it!

That feel when everyone else gets an sdk except the language you are working with.

Friend: at this moment, Nathan knew, he fucked up
Me: dude, i'm not natha....
Friend: imitates bomb explosion, while replacing every semicolon with white spaces... Fuck him, for Lords Sake!!!

You know you're too drunk if you run a fork bomb in your phone...

Ps: i did it soberly

me.ask(“advice”);

I’m going to fly tomorrow and was wondering if I can bring my raspberry pi in my hand luggage. As known sometimes people in security checks are definitely not that awake and I don’t want my rPi in a garbage bin thinking it’s a bomb or something.

Otherwise I’ll just copy everything I need on a VM and go with it , but I wanted my sensors live ahah

Feeling the pressure of writing back-end code for a golang microservice, after a year of fulltime front-end developement. Each commit feels like you're close to cause a bomb to detonate.

My most successful project was in the fisrt year of University in 2016. We had to build a robot from scratch with all the mechanic, electronical and software components, which could solve a given problem, in our case defusing a bomb, in collaboration with an other team. After a lot of frustration, late night debugging and many beers, our team managed to win the competition against 8 other teams.

Bragging about knowing how to hack the company's emails definitely gets you into trouble. And then coming out clean and saying it was all a bluff still gets you into trouble. Hacking jokes in the office is same as a bomb joke in public(crowded) places.

When a fellow programmer/teammate, who tends to be a little to extroverted for my tastes, decides he had nothing to do for the last hour and wants to come talk. An hour and a half later it finally makes sense to just call it a day.

Everytime I write clean in diskpart and press enter, I feel like I am pressing the nuclear bomb switch

Have you ever been so frustrated with your Tester that you go from wishing everyone "Have a nice day" to "How about a high five on your with a spirit bomb" in exactly 2.9 seconds?

QA - Just give this bug to the frontend guy already, he'll figure out if it is from back end, design, front end or business requirement.

Oh the joys of working with an Enterprise customer.

Background:
Discussion about service architecture with me, development architect (ArchDev) and integration architect (ArchInt). The topic arises of needing to access int. segment systems for a public facing cloud application.

Me: so we'll just need a s2s vpn and then we can just create a route and call the services normally.
ArchDev: sounds good to me, it will take a few months to get that set up
ArchInt: we done need that, we can just use the gateway and then route all the requests through the ESB.
Me: 😕 do you mean the service gateway?
ArchInt: (drops bomb) no, we decide that all API should be implement in ESB, so ESB will handle traffic
Me: *pauses, steps up to the whiteboard, does latency math* setting aside the fact that isn't how ESB's work, that will add at least 700ms latency to each request.
ArchInt: well that is fine for enterprise, things not usually as fast in enterprise you must expect slowdown to be safe
ArchDev: *starts updating resume on the ladders
Me: 💀🔫

Was supposed to take my midterms today, while my mates were supposed to pass their assignments.....few minutes before the class we saw the dean running telling the students to go home/leave. Turns out there was a “bomb threat”....

As I'm seriously considering sending the guy I went on a date with recently who subsequently pissed me off the Telugu character, iOS 11.2.6 is released. 😞

I wish I could do aliases on windows like doing on linux. I would alias shutdown with a fork bomb.

That moment when you are doing systems programming and accidentally fork bomb yourself.

Please ctrl-save, please ctrl-save, please ctrl-save!

Got an invite for Google foobar challenge.
Successful completed 2 challenges.

It is so much fun to work on complex problem especially with a time bomb attached to it.

Was hiring a front-end dev once. Job ad was for basic html/css and graphic design skills. Perfect part-time job for intern or high school kid to get their feet wet. Boss sits in on interview and after I asked all the necessary questions related to position, boss starts asking him programming related questions similar to my position. (php, Mysql, apis, managing vps, custom shopping cart code )

Way to drop a bomb on a kid who is potentially interested in working here.

Is unreal engine a good engine to develop games on?

Got a scammer on my hook. Ideas welcome to fuck him/her over.

He/she confused me with someone else and messaged me acting as a support person of an exchange. I acted along and s/he is insisting on sharing account details.

Played along like a dumb internet noob and I think I got him to share his fake email id.

Now I'm thinking of ways to extract more details about him via email.

From top of my mind, these are some ideas I have:
- get his IP address
- zip bomb or something like that? But g mail is probably gonna detect that.

Ideally, If I could social engineer him to give his phone number, I could easily report him to police and find his identity.

Have you busted some scammers? Would appreciate some tips.

Huge number of "no social life" response for Wk111 question sounds alarming to me.

I totally understand how our job can make us alienated from everyone around us. That's why we need to make extra effort to be part of a society. This is the reason I love devrant, where we all can share our solitude. Having said that, social interaction in person is really important. You should try to meet new people, go out of your comfort zone, take some risk, be venurable because in the end it would be worth it.

Being alone is a very fragile state to be in, like a ticking bomb.

I'm not sure if this applies to everyone but it does to me. I would like to know your opinion guys!

My employer has an application for product ordering/maintenance. Sounds pretty normal. It's an Excel spreadsheet that uses VBA to do the work, with a ton of SQL functions for row validation and procedures for database functions.

The guy that wrote it was a contractor who left the company well over 5 years ago.

No one on my team knows VBA. Me being the new guy gets tasked with this shitty VBA application's upkeep. Any time one of the braindead users fat fingers a value and the form blows up, I'm responsible for telling them exactly why they are stupid and sometimes I have to fix it for them because of the protections on the spreadsheet.

I've been asking the business to back a project for my team to develop a replacement but there is already so much happening for IT at my workplace, and my team is so under staffed (3 devs? Really?) That we spend most of our time fixing broken old shit.

We get an intern next month. Hopefully things improve soon because this tucking time bomb application sucks for everyone involved.

For the new/aspiring developers:
1. If you are still looking to learn more, but you don't know where to go, start brainstorming. Make a list of projects you could make and sort them by difficulty. Put the ones you could do now at the top of the list, and the ones you aren't sure how to do yet, at the bottom of the list. As you go through them, if you want to do something but aren't sure how, just hop onto an irc chat and everyone will be glad to help. As you go through the projects, your logic and program design skills should improve, as well as your knowledge of programming.
2. Put comments in your code. Seriously. If you are working on a project and suddenly stop working on it for a week or more, you will go back to look at that code and be extremely confused. If you are making something open source, its even more important. If people can understand the code, they are more likely to contribute to it.
3. Try not to focus on code for too long. The longer you work, the more tired your brain gets. Eventually you get tired and make really stupid decisions in your code.
4. Don't code while tired (look at #3)
5. If you are writing code as an assignment, make sure to rename all variables to proper names before submitting it. The instructor will likely not be pleased to see variable names with the f-bomb in them.

Replaced all the aliases with fork bombs in my colleague's laptop when he left it unlocked and unattended last Friday.

Hope to hear about the casualties next Monday.

Good old fork bomb

I manage the infrastructure of an application. Responsible for setup, maintenance and upgrades of all the associated servers, databases, filesystems and tuning. The business area is responsible for maintaining the content and structure of the app.

A couple of weeks ago, the business area started asking me for the system admin passwords in an attempt to integrate a remote service. The reason was because he didn't want to store his own credentials in Jenkins. Imagine the shock when they were told no.

Then a week ago, they asked for the password again so they could update a properties file. Again, the answer was no.

We sent them an email yesterday asking for their change management number so we could make the change to the properties file. They were absolutely shocked to find out that we hadn't already updated the file because they had already deployed their code changes to go with the properties file last Thursday. They submitted the request to us on Friday.

Getting real tired of people screwing up and pointing the finger back at me.

In about 12 hours I have to make, which would currently be, the biggest decision of my life (so far).

Either I shut down my company. Or I closer new signups to my service until further notice.

I can't believe I'll be dropping the bomb on my partner soon.

How come Galaxians, Bomb Jack, Defender, R-Type and Space Invaders are still the best video games? Or is there something wrong with me?

After next 10 days i will be officially out of my student life phase and into the role of a adult, but my habits and mistakes are still that of a person i was 4 years ago. Even tody my poor decision making and practical skills are causing a pain to my loved ones , leading them to take charge, and i am so sad as to why i am the way i am. I wish i could know a way to change, to know of a way to grow.

Tldr : clg/uni fucks up with sudden notices. Immediate actions needed. My confused brain wants to react correctly and in a fail safe way,but confusion in choices leads to my old parents travelling 140kms.

Long version.

(Note 12 -2 days ago is not much relevant)

12 days ago
Situation in my state/country : heavy increase in covid cases by 90k each day, yet govt opening up and judiciary allowing markets/systems to open slowly

11 days ago
Univ drops a bomb : offline college exams for final yr would be happening in next 13 days if everything goes right. We would be giving the datesheet in next 2 days.
Le students:" wtf they can't take offline exams. What's going right? Situation is wrong as always... They bluffin (goes on creating twitter wars)
Le me : yeah its just a bluff

9 days ago : *no datesheet comes* *everyone quiet thinking univ got their brains on track*

8 days ago : univ drops "proposed" datesheet. Datesheet is exactly as they said : exams starting from 22nd, continuous , offline, in the college itself , at very early time

Le students : WTF! THEY REALLY GAVE THE DATESHEET? THEY WANNA KILL US? HOW CAN WE GO BACK TO COLLEGES ?WE DON'T HAVE TRANSPORTS!!? *Angry posts everywhere, but nothing is really happening*

Le me : hmm . Looks like its really happening. No probs. We will start from this monday. I have already some prep, we also have some interviews so Monday is good.

Monday comes . Goes on doing revisions, attending some inteviews,... Etc for next 5 days. Meanwhile i inform my parents that i will be having exams next week. They too busy to pay attention. I too engrossed in my stuff to think about a very important thing : HOW WILL I FUCKING GO?

So here comes the shit story.

Some event happens that brings attention of me , parents nd everyone else to the execution of exams by us.

Here is some maths.

- Exams to start : in next 4 days
- Exam start timings : 8.30 am.
- Examination gate closing time : 8.10 am
: . need to reach college by :7.30 am
- Distance between my home and college = ~70kms
- General route + timings =metro + bus + 3 wheeler = 1.3- 1 hr 40 mins
Thus to reach college using this route, need to get out of my home by : 6am

First metro on my route : 6.20 am

MATHS DOES NOT MATCH!!! I WILL BE LATE FOR MY EXAMS plus there are many unreliability factors like the unsafe nature of buses interms of covid, traffic etc.

So needed a different plan.

So when i thought about it, i immediately came up with an alternative solution. My friend presented me an option 2 and when my parents thought about it , they came with an option 3.

But i was so confused about all the options , that parents just got frustrated and took it to their hands.

Option 1 (mine) : i go by metro till the place from where i take the bus. From their i book a direct cab to college. Cost =$$$ but i will be somewhat safe from covid. Also risk of getting late is reduced as
Parents : nope/maybe. Still too much exertion + traffic risk

Option 2(friend) : i go by metro to the place from where i tske the bus. Friend has a car, will take both of us from there
Parenst Nope/maybe : traffic risk + what if friend gets late? He will run away without u.
Me : friend is responsible.

Option 3(parents) : there's an orphanage run by a known family friend that's at 4kms from my college. Let's shift you there for next 6 days. Mom will also stay woth you there
Me : nope/maybe. Lack of basic facilities ( table, wify) there. Plus mom can't go , her business will get disrupted . Also everyone would he taking the usual route, it won't be much exertion
Parents : mom has to go.. how will we be satisfied that you are staying safely there? The aunt there won't be able to handle your requirements.
Me : I DON'T HAVE ANY REQUIREMENTS! All i need is my mobile and copies and i cans study anywhere, eat anything.. plus we don't have time for all this. I think staying there is good planz let me shift tomorrow

Parents. : No,..okay...umm.. no we have to...
<Everyone confused and mostly angry at me>

======
At the end they decided that i should be staying home and they would be going first there to check. I feel bad that i couldn't give them the confidence in me to take such decisions, or criticizing the only correct risk free choice they gave to me.

[1/n]

I've been successful to achieve this without executing a fork bomb. A buggy library, doesn't care about their children.

Could people tell me why they have to put apple stickers on their cars, is this a trend? Its starting to irritate me because it seems so common here

Looking for the correct download button is like defusing a bomb.

Click the wrong one and *BOOM*

Hello Ads!

(For those who're still struggling with this. Hover your pointer on the download button and check if the url it leads to is legit.)

From HTML CSS javascript to some voodoo WPF xaml and c#, mvvm and databinding dependency inject cluster bomb to my brain god Microsoft just put a tutorial out like a normal group of people. where you do examples of projects. I'm 2 weeks in and this still makes no sense

2 years ago I thought you had to make an if statement for every coordinate in a game to make the character move

Ever given access to production data to correct a data entry that doesn't have a PATCH api ready?

Ever ran UPDATE table set COLUMN="value"; without WHERE condition?

Ever done both of these sequentially?

Yeah. DB snapshots cost a bomb to restore :(

file: lol.bat
"start lol.bat"

WIndOwS Has EncOuNTEred A PRoBleM aNd MuST ResTaRt

Good code is a lie imho.

When you see a project as code, there are 3 variables in most cases:

- time
- people / human resources
- rules

Every variable plays a certain role in how the code (project) evolves.

Time - two different forms: when certain parts of code are either changed in a high frequency or a very low frequency, it's a bad omen.

Too high - somehow this area seems to be relentless. Be it features, regressions or bugs - it takes usually in larger code bases 3 - 4 weeks till all code pathes were triggered.

Too low - it can be a good sign. But it should be on the radar imho. Code that never changes should be reviewed at an - depending on size of codebase - max. yearly audit. Git / VCS is very helpful here.
Why? Mostly because the chances are very high that the code was once written for a completely different requirement set. Hence the audit - check if this code still is doing the right job or if you have a ticking time bomb that needs to be defused.

People
If a project has only person working on it, it most certainly isn't verified by another person. Meaning that only one person worked on it - I'd say it's pretty bad to bad, as no discussion / review / verification was done. The author did the best he / she could do, but maybe another person would have had an better idea?

Too many people working on one thing is only bad when there are no rules ;)

Rules. There are two different kind of rules.

Styling / Organisation / Dokumentation - everything that has not much to do with coding itself. These should be enforced at a certain point, otherwise the code will become a hot glued mess noone wants to work on.

Coding itself. This is a very critical thing.

Do: Forbid things that are known to be problematic in the programming language itself. Eg. usage of variables in variables, reflection, deprecated features.

Do: Define a feature set for each language. Feature set not meaning every feature you want to use! Rather a fixed minimum version every developer must use and - in case of library / module / plugin support - which additional extras are supported.

Every extra costs. Most developers don't want to realize this... And a code base that evolves over time should have minimal dependencies. Every new version of an extra can have bugs, breakages, incompabilties and so on.

Don't: don't specify a way of coding. Most coding guidelines are horrific copy pastures from some books some smart people wrote who have no fucking clue what you're doing and why.

If you don't know how to operate on people, standing in an OR and doing what a book told you to do would end in dead person pretty sure. Same for code.

Learn from mistakes and experience, respect knowledge from other persons, but always reflect on wether this makes sense at this specific area of code.

There are very few things which are applicable to a large codebase on a global level. Even DRY / SOLID and what ever you can come up with can be at a certain point completely wrong.

Good code is a lie - because it can only exist at a certain point of time.

A codebase should be a living thing - when certain parts rot, other parts will be affected too.

The reason for the length of the comment was to give some hints on what my principles are that code stays in an "okayish" state, but good is a very rare state

While investigating alternatives for translating a query string to a dotnet expression I discovered that roslyn has runtime eval of string as verbatim code.

I had no idea a feature could make me this uncomfortable. It's like discovering an armed bomb under your bed that's "there if you want - it has its uses, just be careful".

At least you have to explicitly reference a package for it. Promise to kill me if I ever am tempted by it.

I want to build a Ubuntu remix

Any tips to get started?

To compile my code in Windows I have to use VS

Bah humbug

<rant>
FFS

Windows is the worst garbage ever...

First I get a virus becouse the antivirus didn't fucking work, then I try and do a system reset WICH FAILS, them u have to get into the uefi and do a system reset back to Windows 8, Windows 8..

So I go to the windows insider program and download the media creator thing and
.
.
IT DOESN'T WORK
It just stops at "searching for updates"and now I'm stuck with Windows 8

I can't even get the Nvidia drivers so i can't play games anymore

A big fuck you to Microsoft and merry Christmas

Btw any fixes? Thank you

</rant>

@-red thanks for the ++ bomb man <3
Thank goodness I don't have notifs enabled for devrant, or my phone would be dead already :D

Rant pending...
So our company has been talking about bringing in the full Atlassian suite (JIRA, Bamboo, Bitbucket, Fisheye and Crucible). Anyone familiar with using the entire suite? Just wondering what kind of hell to expect.

@-red stop it.

I am new to c and cpp.
I used to exploit my college's competitive programming platform cus it had a bad architecture and almost no auth checks.
For every ajax request, they weren't sending auth tokens or any form of identification and ran all the programs without any logs and on the main thread and as root.. wtf, right?
But recently they've changed something to the site and I cannot run bash commands using system() call.
Is there any other way to execute bash commands using c and cpp.
I already configured a miner in their server but then they re-deployed it cos someone forked bomb the shit out of it.
I'm a noob in c and cpp btw!

When your new upgrade process looks like it will save you a few hours of time. After 18 hours and scrapping the improved process we've finally got the green light.

I don't see why you shouldn't have root log in into your servers via ssh enabled.

For which purpose? So that attackers can't guess my username? That's security through obscurity. I rather trust in my ssh key-pair.

So that there is another layer between an attacker and your server when they get in? That is meant for application that might have security holes. So don't let your applications run in root. But still, as soon as someone is in, it is bad enough. I could at least use a fork bomb and force the server to reboot. Repeatedly.

There is no advantage of going this extra step. Except when you are not the only admin. Than you might want to have a log of everyone opening a session. So, in a corporate setting, there is a reason. But besides that, it doesn't make any bloody sense.

So, I'm really really impressed with London. This place has an amazing history, culture, and the people are great. After visiting Copenhagen, Stockholm, Berlin and now London, I love London the most.

I've never tried to get a visa and my American friends tell me it's hard. Well fuck you I don't care if it's hard. All the better if it gives me a goal in life.

I leave at the end of the week but I swear I'm going to get back here next year. Don't care how hard it is.

Also I saw Alan Turing's Bomb. Pictures below.

Ryan Dahl working on Deno is one of the current interesting projects that I have been following.

Initially, the dude was trying to use Golang and is currently migrating to cpp and rust since Golang is a gc language. Nothing wrong with that really. I am just excited to see what this man comes up, and Typescript as the main language? Fuck yeah.

This shit js gonna be bomb af. Happy to see him talk to openly about his flaws when building Node, which was still a massive success and a true game changer for a lot of people(me included) and I believe that Deno will repeat this. It already has 24k stars on Github and tracking the repo has become very interesting! I just wish i had the cpp/rust knowledge needed to help out with it.

!rant
Anyone got any good sources for stickers on the UK? Wanting to sticker bomb the inside of my PC case.

To make an operating make an operating system that isn't shit

Persuade me on my next language. Right now I use python. Debating between JavaScript, Go, or C/C++. You'll get a ++bomb prize for responses that are detailed and include good resources for learning. Commence!

devRant, 9gag and stackoverflow. An atomic bomb 💣

!dev

I just woke up from a fun adrenaline packed film dream.
It started like an movie, leaning a bit into the funny side, but also a bit serious.

We were 3 guys going top speed on the highway, dodging traffic, trying to prevent a bomb from detonating on the other side of the city.

We were all famous actors, but the only one I remember was Jackie Chan. I remember thinking why would they cast Jackie Chan and give him so few lines.

I wished I remember more about this part. The only thing I remember is that when we get to the end of the island, we’re in the wrong place: we’re at a huge OBGYN center.

My sidekicks are bothering the desk women, eating all of the “waiting candy”. I feel bad and offer to pay those, which they pretend to not care about but then end up charging me down to the penny. Cunts.

The sidekicks leave and (without explanation because dreams) disappear of the story.

Defeated, I go outside and start walking.
And I don’t remember exactly what the fuck happened in between, but somehow I’m now in the house of a cartel druglord and he’s pissed and I need to run now.

So I do. I remembered that there was a very thick forest east to the house. So I go there.

And what follows is a very intense montage of me escaping.

At some point that forest ended, so I continue through some high weed, and then another forest, and so on. While I had to pass through parts with no vegetation, I had to avoid these as much as possible.

I saw dozens of types of trees and shrubs.

Then I started seeing families, kids, playing, relaxing on what seemed a Sunday afternoon.

The adventure was so fun, the landscape was so beautiful I felt happy and thought “this is how it feels to be alive”. And I actually felt happy in real life as well.

At some point the vegetation I encounter decreased, and I have to go through more urbanized areas, with more people.

“Uh oh” I think, “I hope no one snitches me”. But miraculously, no one does.

Throughout all the journey I had glimpses of the drug lord nearby presence.

His face on the distance, the sound of his car engine.

But now he was closer than ever. And I’m closer to this house which is the escape point (can’t really remember why).

So I reach for the handle and fade to white, and fade back again, it’s me, older, and I’m not in an escaping mood.

My wife is waiting, our car is outside (on the non drug lord side).

And guess what, we were waiting for our daughter, who comes with a smile and a child on her hands.

So apparently, my daughter married someone from the drug lord villa that almost murders me.

Reading this sounds like a bad script, but that’s what I dreamed today.

(Note: I got a bit carried away while writing this, so the end result is a lot longer than I expected. Apologies for the long post!)

The beginning of my programming journey started with a book.

This was back in 7th grade. I had some basic exposure to BASIC (pun maybe intended?) from our school curriculum, but it was nothing too interesting as our teachers never really treated it as anything important. They would stress a lot on those Microsoft Office chapters (yes, we actually studied Microsoft Office as part of our computer science course at school) and mostly ignore the programming chapters because I dare say many of them struggled with it themselves. So although I had been exposed to *some* programming, it was mostly memorizing the syntax without actually understanding what was going on.

Then one day there was this book fair thing going on at this local Carrefour (for those of you who've no idea, it's a pretty famous hypermarket chain) in this mall, and for some reason my mother and I were in that mall on that day. Now the interesting thing is that this usually never happens -- I usually visit malls with my dad or my friends, this is the only instance I remember where I had actually visited one with just my mom. This turned out to be fortuitous. My father is the kind of person who's generally not amenable to any kind of extraneous shopping requests. My mother, on the other hand, was and remains pliable.

So I basically saw this book -- Sams' Teach Yourself JavaScript in 24 Hours -- being sold at half price. I vaguely remembered having read somewhere that JavaScript is a good introductory programming language (and it helped that this was the time when I was getting into a Google-craze -- I basically saw some photos of Google Zurich and went all HOLY SHIT THAT'S WHERE I NEED TO WORK WHEN I GROW UP (for those of you who haven't seen it, I recommend googling it. That office is the bomb) -- and I'd also read that you need programming skills to join Google). So I begged and begged my mum to buy that book, and thankfully she did.

Back home I returned with my new prize under my arm. Dad took one look at it and scoffed that I'll never actually use it. Pretty much entirely out of spite (to prove him wrong), I attacked the book with a zeal. I still remember how I felt when I wrote my very first JavaScript program (printing the current system date in an h1 tag) and marveling at the output. I guess that was when something struck -- the realization that this was probably what I wanted to do in life.

Fast forward to today, and I've never looked back and wondered what it would be like to have done something else.

PS: for all you beginners out there, JavaScript is a horrible language. Please start with something like Python. Also there are better resources than Sams' Teach Yourself JavaScript in 24 Hours available, that I just didn't know of back then. I'd recommend Eloquent JavaScript any day.

I wrote a bash script to launch 7 terminal windows, to be run when I am about to start work(need them for git on 7 projects in my work) in the morning.

Then, I added the script to my .bashrc.