AboutI like loops...
SkillsSoftware design , coding (java,js,c/c++,python...)
Joined devRant on 8/2/2016
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It was late night after work I went into Macdonald's take-away:
Me: Can I have a Maharaja Mac Medium Meal with extra regular fries?
Guy: Yes sir, that will XX.XX amt.
Me: Gives him my card.
Guys: So what's the pin?
Guys: The Pin sir.
Me: Are you ok? Who the hell shares a pin with you?
Guy: Sir, we don't have a wireless swipe machine.
Me: So why is it a take-away if I have to come inside and drop my pin anyways?
*Guy looks awkwardly at other employees. :/
We got a sever with two Intel Xeon E5520 processors and each processor has 8 cores and 2.27GHz.
Also the server has 36Gb of internal memory.
What do we do with it? We play Solitair 😎19
Yesterday: Senior dev messages out a screenshot of someone using an extension method I wrote (he didn’t know I wrote it)..
SeniorDev: “OMG…that has to be the stupidest thing I ever saw.”
Me: “Stupid? Why?”
SeniorDev: “Why are they having to check the value from the database to see if it’s DBNull and if it is, return null. The database value is already null. So stupid.”
Me: “DBNull is not null, it has a value. When you call the .ToString, it returns an empty string.”
SeniorDev: ”No it doesn’t, it returns null.”
<oh no he didn’t….the smack down begins>
Me: “Really? Are you sure?”
SeniorDev: “Yes! And if the developer bothered to write any unit tests, he would have known.”
Me: “Unit tests? Why do you assume there aren’t any unit tests? Did you look?”
<at this moment, couple other devs take off their head phones and turn around>
SeniorDev:”Well…uh…I just assumed there aren’t because this is an obvious use case. If there was a test, it would have failed.”
Me: “Well, let’s take a look..”
<open up the test project…navigate to the specific use case>
Me: “Yep, there it is. DBNull.Value.ToString does not return a Null value.”
SeniorDev: “Huh? Must be a new feature of C#. Anyway, if the developers wrote their code correctly, they wouldn’t have to use those extension methods. It’s a mess.”
<trying really hard not drop the F-Bomb or two>
Me: “Couple of years ago the DBAs changed the data access standard so any nullable values would always default to null. So no empty strings, zeros, negative values to indicate a non-value. Downside was now the developers couldn’t assume the value returned the expected data type. What they ended up writing was a lot of code to check the value if it was DBNull. Lots of variations of ‘if …’ , ternary operators, some creative lamda expressions, which led to unexpected behavior in the user interface. Developers blamed the DBAs, DBAs blamed the developers. Remember, Tom and DBA-Sam almost got into a fist fight over it.”
SeniorDev: “Oh…yea…but that’s a management problem, not a programming problem.”
Me: “Probably, but since the developers starting using the extension methods, bug tickets related to mis-matched data has nearly disappeared. When was the last time you saw DBA-Sam complain about the developers?”
SeniorDev: “I guess not for a while, but it’s still no excuse.”
Me: “Excuse? Excuse for what?”
<couple of awkward seconds of silence>
SeniorDev: “Hey, did you guys see the video of the guy punching the kangaroo? It’s hilarious…here, check this out.. ”
Pin shoulders the mat…1 2 3….I win.6
Learned Python by working 6 year with it. The first tool I made in my spare time was a porn playback helper.7
"sudo !!" Will rerun your last command with sudo privileges in a Linux environment.
The definition of torture: watching your non-techie wife attempt to setup a new computer and refusing to accept help.
... there are so many metaphors I can put here but if she sees any of them it would be grounds for divorce so I will leave it at that.4
If you had
To code everything you want
Would you learn it or let it pass
His code is heavy,
arms are weak,
mind is bending.
It's all spaghetti.
He is nervous but looks calm and ready
to go now
but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down.
The manager is getting loud
He moves his mouse but the bugs won't got out
They are features now
Time to ship
Professor: I uploaded 25 C exercises with a 3 week deadline at eclass.
*4 hours later* Me: I completed the exercises.
Professor: ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ O'RLY?
Me: Let me show you
Professor : Feel free to skip class for the rest of the month
Hi everyone! Sam here, @dfox's gf :) so happy to be talking to you all! Today I will be live-ranting TNW Conference where devRant will be presenting with photos in this thread. Pictured here, @dfox and @trogus setting up our booth. There will also be a stage presentation, a sticker printer on site (because how could we not :)), and energy drink/stress ball giveaway. Stop by and say hi if you're here!!
Go devRant team!39
I hate it how our profession became common over the last decade. We're nothing more than factory workers of todays day and age. Just take a look at petty midldle management above you all... and all underpayed and overworked devs out there... Nah, this ain't that glamorous proffesion I dreamed about as a kid.13
Introducing Marvel's newest anti-hero...Threadpool. He can do three things at once...I never said it was a big thread pool. He must get revenge on his nemesis Task Manager with the help of his side kick Q.
The problem with Linux... It's stable, you can get exactly the desktop experience you want out of it, BUUUUT, there's always an urge to tinker a little more, then you break everything and it takes hours to fix6
If you could choose between world peace and your dream computer, would it be a desktop or laptop?11
Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip, unzip it,
Lock it, fill it, curl it, find it,
View it, code it, jam, unlock it
Surf it, scroll it, pose it, click it
Cross it, crack it, twitch, update it,
Name it, read it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax, rename it,
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, stop, format it.9
If we ever colonize Mars or if we even go further I am already feeling sorry for the poor bloke that will have to work on DateTime library.9
Worst part of devving? Handling fucking time. GMT, EST, daylight savings, DHCP settings overriding the actual time because some fuckwit runs a server incorrectly, dealing with Voip phones and their super flaky time profiles. Fuck time.4
If your issue is not on StackOverflow and you can't find it on the web:
Go another way, you're probably doing something very wrong!
(I have solved many problems remembering this)1
Client: I need a Website, You have "complete freedom" to choose an apt design, it should be professional and creative.
~ Makes a top-notch Demo inspired from Apple Website ~
Client: It is not professional at all, you should use yellow color for header background. Matching the yellow in the logo, text should be in red. Use blue borders. "Make it more professional!"
~ Client is King. Does exactly as client said ~
Client: Change the font of the website, use something like this (shows Monotype Corsiva). Reduce the image sizes to stamp size. Give a zoom effect to the headings. Increase the text font size to 16px.
~ Client is King. Does exactly as client said ~
Client: Now it looks more professional!! You should hire me to your design department! And now, as I did the major design part you are only eligible for half the payment......
Designer: <<< what will you say? comment it below.. >>>11
The relentless feeling that slowly has over taken my waking life. The feeling that if I am not coding, learning or becoming better at coding I am wasting my time. I can't even watch movies anymore without reading articles. This is the worst thing about being a Dev, how when you are a dev you are nothing else.
At least for me, not sure how common this feeling is.10