I accidentally sent my bachelor thesis to the 3D-printer. It printed a big peace of shit.

1 minute of Thread.sleep() for Tum, the best cat ever. Rest in peace, your memory will live on in my devrant avatar.

Now i can enter in peace! Finally a good number

“It’s okay, you can go, the pain will be over soon, thanks for everything, I love you”

I never thought saying these words to my cat would be so hard.

I’ll miss you.

A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”

The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”

The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”

The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”

At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

Rest in Peace, Muhammad Ali.

His legacy lives on
Rest In peace

Rest in peace bro ..!

The inventor of autocorrect has died.

Restaurant in Peace

To be or not to be.
Whenever you are stuck with something in life, ask that question to yourself.
Because
2b || !2b
Is a Boolean expression which will always be true. So asking that question will lead you to true self.
Peace ☮️

Bill gates found a bottle in his garden.
He decided to rub it thrice (whyever) and a geany surged.

Bill gates: h.. He.. Hello?
Geany : hi, im willing to give you one wish as you saved me
Bill gates: I WANT WORLD PEACE, HERE IS THE MAP WITH ALL THE WARS ON THE WORLD!!
Geany: thats impossible. Other wishes?
Bill gates: fix every bug in windows vista!
Geany: gimme that world map

A typical demo...
Me: We added validation, server communication, caching....
Customer: Meh...
Me: We fixed bugs, sped up queries, implemented X features.
Customer: Meh...
Me: We surpassed the speed of light, transcended to another plane of reality, cured cancer, brought peace to galaxy.
Customer: Meh...

UI Designer: I prepared these sketches for the UI
Customer: Wow, so innovative, look at that beautiful transitions, even mobile design, just wow

Me: * dies *

I'm a peaceful programmer.

Replace the teachers with no real world experience with part-time workers that are still active in IT.

I had this last year in my final year of vocational education and it was amazing, I had two teachers running their business two days a week and teaching us everything on the three remaining days.

I learnt about oop without dogs and cats, I learnt to extract information from invoices to be able to create an invoicing system without being misled by customers, and much more.

Second thing would also be something we did in my previous education. It was called "learning productively".

Basically, companies would give a project to the school and students could pick one to do for a few months. You had to have meetings with the customer, you had to give presentations and it wasn't another fucking calculator.

I've had the pleasure of working with a big corporation like this and learnt a ton in my first year.

These were extremely valuable, I think I'd still be a piece of shit developer without any knowledge on how to actually develop a full system and how to manage a project as a dev.

Peace

Rest In Peace mspaint.exe, 1985 - 2017. You will be greatly missed.

"Sure ill join the meeting it's not like I'm busy with the project's deadline being this Friday and all"
My notes from the meeting:

Why the fuck do some people need to talk so much while working?
Let me code in peace, damnit. 😒

PM: Bro send me latest version of the app
Me: But I"m not finished with x feature and it will crash the app in its current situation
PM: No problem bro just want to test

*5 minutes later*
PM: Bro app is crashing when I do x
Inner Me: YOU PEACE OF SHIT I TOLD YOU IT WILL CRASH!
Actual Me: throw a ticket I'll handle it later.

Took an interview today.

Me - What do you think JavaScript is interpreted or compiled.

Guy(5+ years of UI exp) - It's neither of them. It just runs on browser.

At that moment I slowly started fading away into a black hole for the absolute peace and embrace death.

I can now die in peace

Oops! Did I just declare..

Was taking a big sh*t and resolved a problem on my API.

Toilet : The best place to think in peace <3

Office politics rant:

I work with lazy ass whose only purpose is to flirt with each other and pass time to go home. Selfish and narcissist people.

Nobody bats an eye on them. My shithead manager doesn't say a word to them because there's a dick amongst them who licks his ass on behalf of all others.

Anyway, I am not much concerned about them as long as they don't bother me or interfere in my work.

Today I came to know that a friend (also a senior team member who hardly works) resigned. Along with him, another co-worker quit. Another one to quit soon.

My manager puts all their workload on me. Well, no problem. I go to office to work and I am okay with this.

Shit hit the fan when 80% of the team is idle and I am overloaded unnecessarily. Why? Because I work. Work responsibly and consider myself accountable for the work I do. I delivere quality with efficiency.

All of the remaining members (except for that ass licker) are my juniors and draw double my salary.

I am trying hard to find another project within organisation. But no success. I tried to get a senior director of other department to help me but every effort wasted.

I am emotionally fucked. My start-up is going nowhere. My other side projects are stuck. I have literally wasted last 10 months and haven't learned a thing. My family is least interested in me. I am incurring financial loss in my stock market investment and missed some great opportunities to invest.

Well I am fine. Not anxious, depressed, hurt, angry or sad. Because I know no matter how bad a person is, there's at least one good thing in them.

I believe there are still people out there who go out of their way to help others.

I see hope and believe that one day everything will turn out well much better than expected.

I believe there is still good in this world and everyone (no matter how good or bad they are) deserve happiness.

At the end of the day, I found this picture on internet which made me feel peaceful which I would like to share it with everyone. 😊

Shine on 💎

A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."

The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."

The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."

The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes"

Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."

If you could choose between world peace and your dream computer, would it be a desktop or laptop?

Found this in my office door this morning...

Please Android studio eat more RAM, u peace of ..... 😡

So...
I'm penetrationtesting a network and the servers on said network
The network administrator and IT security officer knows this, because they hired me..

TL;DR a scan caused the network to crash.

Today I received a very angry email going "Stop scanning NOW!" from one of the IT departments.

Apparently I crashed their login server and thus their entire network...
It happened d the first time I scanned the network from the outside and they had spend an entire day figuring out how and repairing the service they thought was the problem, but then it crashed again, when I scanned from within the network.

Now they want to send me a list of IP's that I'm not allowed to scan and want to know exactly what and when I'm scanning...

How crap can they be at their job, if they weren't able to spot a scan... The only reason they found out it was me was because the NA had whitelistet my IP, so that I could scan in peace...

Went into bed with peace in mind. Updated my website and everything working perfectly. Tonight I'll have a good sleep.

Jumped from bed all of a sudden :

GIT COMMIT! GIT PUSH!

Rest in peace, Avicii.

Another great loss.

Hacker Adrian Lamo dies at 37.

Rest in peace 🙏

I hate two things:
1. People who hate other languages for no reason,
2. and PHP.
/s

!dev && I'm fucking pissed

Bloody fucking mosquitos, FUCK YOU!!
If you couldn't evolve your shitty self over billions of years to be able to consume decent food instead of MY FUCKING BLOOD, then just let me fucking kill you already and eat my own fucking supper in peace!
MOTHERFUCKING PARASITIC ABOMINATIONS OF LIFE!!!

I would say world peace, but that's had unlimited money and time into it and still failing, so I'll go for a sentient robot unicorn.

It was fucking weird when our teacher in web programming class told to make a PHP page but he forgot to give us root access to Apache server and most importantly more than half of the class didn't know what the fuck a web server was and what is Apache.
Rest in peace college degree.

When it finally passes the deployment

#FeelsGood

!rant !!joke

What is written on a dead API's gravestone?

REST in peace.

I was saying today that my life is pretty sad without a girlfriend until I received this

Rest in Peace my friend he was my room mates for 2 years in univ and he decides to drop out to take care of his father parkinsons. He is not as lucky as his parents, He was gone missing for 16 hours after the tsunamis struck in Donggala, Sulawesi. and just found dead apparently because drowning and head blunt trauma. reports from her family, the last time they seen their son is before he gone to find his father's medicine (it's not easy since the hospital and drug store are not effective because the big earthquake). A big condolescence for his family. for all the victim in Sulawesi stay safe ! and we hope you all the best!

What has happened to the world.

"Declare variables, not war"

#peace

!rant

Today's my last day at a job I hate!

I may be slightly drunk and Christmas is almost over but, MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, SOARING HUMAN BEINGS!

I fucking love each and every one of you. Keep dev'ing.

Peace out fuckers!

Facebook is the enemy. A weapon. Delete yours today. I want mark zuckerberg to forget what it’s like to be rich off of betraying your own species otherwise I will never Rust in peace.

From now on, I shall always pose with the peace sign

Teacher: From today on, we will start working with ms access 😊.
Me: Please die and let my life in peace ☹️ and learn with something useful (MySQL) instead.

!rant

Permanently deleted my Instagram account. Feels so good!

I hate how people complain when someone posts a !rant, but then also complain about legitimate rants. "wow, you were angry in that one! Why the all caps?" WHY THE FUCK NOT? This is devRant, where we rant about things. If someone is genuinely pissed off about something, then they should be able to come here and express their anger! If we use all caps, then we're extremely pissed! There's nothing wrong with that! If windows started an update in the middle of a project, you have all rights to complain about it here. Let us rant in peace!

Best decision ever was to have my phone muted all the time. My overall stress levels went down significantly. I encourage you to try the same. At first is kinda weird as you actually miss the fuss o having your phone vibrating or ringing all the time, but then all you have is peace.

Inner Peace!

Night at my girlfriend family... to celebrate both her and her sister birthday...

Offensive comments, jokes and pure irrespect about being a dev, having a beard and being quiet, from the guests.

Her actual family is really nice.

I swear... if I hear one more joke about my beard!

The only interesting person, her aunt, just left...

Back to stupid jokes and fake laughs.

I know posts like this one don`t belong here but I`m so super proud of it...

I`ve finally (after like 2 days) finished setting up my macbook-air-arch-linux-kde-plasma and this is what it looks like. If any of you is interested I can share some details about making certain things compatible with apple hardware.
Peace!

Finally D-Booted Ubuntu on my home computer.
Now I'm just waiting for the frantic texts from my wife during the work week telling me "I hate this new system, get it off our computer."
WOMAN!
You must learn CLI. It is the only way to inner peace.

Joined DevRant. Found Inner Peace ;)

Hi guys, this is my first rant so bear with me..

Stupid Indian fucking institutes doesn't give a shit about the things we learn in the institute. This curriculum is like from the 90's. I learnt NodeJS recently and I thought wow a new concept, not even my professor knows about it. I must be on top of the world or at least any way near it and then I see these video tutorials on the internet which are posted 2 years ago. OH MY GOD!! The thing is that my department's HOD doesn't know about that and the funny thing is that I'm doing a project under him "SECURITY OF WEB APPLICATIONS" and the only thing he knows is PHP. And FYI I'm not studying in an institute which is oblivious to the outside world. It's called an NIT, an institute of national fucking importance. At the end, I blame myself though. I should have been on myself not being completely dependent on the professors for knowledge.
I could fill the entire text area with the rant.
But then people will start ranting about the rant.
I will be posting more Indian-devRant soon so.. peace till then.

( I bet they don't know about Git/Github too)

Well, I'm in Florida and Irma is on its way......which means I will be detached from all of technology. Finally I can worry about surviving rather than these deadlines.

So, I was gonna rant about how it can be difficult to design event-based Microservices.

I was gonna say some shit about gateways APIs and some other stuff about data aggregation and keeping things idempotent.

I was going to do all this but then as I was stretching out the old ranting fingers I decided to draw a diagram to maybe go along with the rant.

Now I’m not here to really rant about all that Jazz...

I’m here to give you all a first class opportunity to tear apart my architecture!

A few things to note:

Using a gateway API (Kong) to separate the mobile from the desktop.

This traffic is directed through to an in intermediate API. This way the same microservices can provide different data, and even functionality for each device.

Most Microservices currently built in golang.

All services are event based, and all data is built on-the-fly by events generated and handled by each Microservices.

RabbitMQ used as a message broker.

And finally, it is hosted in Google Cloud Platform.

The currently hosted form is built with Microservices but this will be the update version of things.

So, feel free to rip it apart or add anything you think should change.

Also, feel free to tell me to fuck right off if that’s your cup of tea as well.

Peace ✌🏼

not me ranting but it's a funny story about a rant

So I work on an Android app, that was literally copied from ios code, because the ios app development started 1.6 years earlier (business decision)

You have developers copying swift code to java, and the app is crap, full of bugs... I am the newest addition to the team so I'm currently cleaning up this mess.

Anyway, the ios app works perfectly, the Android app however has litterally 0 crash-free users.

So all of a sudden, one day at the office, I hear my fellow ios dev screaming " what the fuck, you retarded peace of shi?! this is fucking nonsense".

I'm like , guys, can someone re-boot him please? Wtf happened? (everyone laughing)

It turns out someone posted a review on apple store, 1 star, complaining that the app doesn't work on Android, and now the rating on Google play is higher than that on apple store.

He gets upset about it every day, and I'm like... fuck it, I'm not fixing no bugs if they go complain on apple store!!! 😂 And then he goes ranting about it again.

Guys i think we should rename JavaScript since there are still some people that call Java JavaScript and Vice Versa.

Been reading devRant for a while now and I have to say I'm sad about the way the future of the software engineering looks like. Everyone seems to have a lot of hatred towards certain techniques and/or platforms and sad to say, but you are missing a lot.

I have been in the biz for around 15 years and have worked on Win, Linux, Mac, Unix, Symbian, Embedded etc. using all sorts of tools and languages and I must say it has taught me a lot and given diversity on my career and I hope you could also open your mind and start educating yourselves. Theres a world behind your bubble!

Peace and love!

he is never gonna let me work in peace 😓

We are debugging Wordpress syndication plugin tomorrow at work, the intern is uber scared because the lead dev is missing. Rest in peace my soul.(I'm the intern)

coding gives me peace

Every time I think
"Who the fuck coded this peace of garbage"

And then git blame the file

Only to see that it was me... 3+ months ago

I'm a lead Dev on an agile team. We were just handed a fixed scope, fixed date project. On Monday, instead of helping push this out, I get to have a meeting to explain how throwing more bodies at it will slow us down.

"No! We are not code monkeys! Knowing JS and Java isn't the same as knowing our application. Stop fantasizing that it's a simple manpower issue and leave us alone so we can work these fucking nightmare timelines in peace!!"

I'm looking for a better way than that to explain it to the Sr management for the business so I don't get fired.

This goddemn telephone keeps on ringing like I will never have peace of mind ever! I couldn't even write 10 lines of code straight. 😤

I have just started out on Linux (Ubuntu because I don't know anything (please don't judge me (you're not judging me right?))) and I don't know anything aside from Linux relies on Terminal a lot. The tools are already installed (VSCode, git, etc.) and everything dark-themed. Is there anything I should have in your opinion, and where should I start?

!rant
I've just lost my grandfather last Friday from liver and gallbladder failure. Him being a composer and a musician impacted me a lot as a pianist try-hard. I regret I prioritized my studying for college over him and only visited him twice. But he saw my performance from my parents (they recorded it) and he complimented it, so it's more than enough for me. Rest in peace gramp, and thank you.

I have a confession to make:

This is what being a security enthusiast does to you.

A little background : This is our team's designer who asked me to send him one of my pictures to put on my ID Card (that he is designing) for the event that I'm organizing along with my team. I have known him for about 2 years now but well, security awareness gave me trust issues because I apparently asked him to delete the picture he is finally using for my ID Card after he is done with the work. He must be thinking I'm crazy.

P.s. I still don't know if he actually deleted it or not but let's just give him the benefit of doubt and try to live in oblivion.

So yesterday I said to my private laptop update and shutdown...

Fast forward to this morning. Hell breaks loose. Have to fix it asap! We have downtime. But fucking windows update!!!

You fucking peace of shit should have done this yesterday. And why does it have to take so long.

I don't trust you

The company where I work has officially dropped support for IE 10 and below.
I'm in no way involved in any of the work that affects or is affected by this. But on a spiritual level I feel a little more at peace each time we step closer to leaving IE by the wayside.

that moment as a sys admin when everything is in peace and you have nothing to do.
I usually go outside and get me a nice cup of coffee at a local cafe

today its a Latte Machiato with white chocolate

My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace when the Programmer kept balance between Encapsulation, Polymorphism, Abstraction, and Inheritance. But that all changed when the functional programmers attacked.

Rest in peace, Totalbiscuit 😖

Programs are like humans. First you need to do baby steps and make it work like you want it, and teach it how to work. Then after the release the youth brings a lot of bugs and swearing. Finally it's grown up and can handle itself. Then it gets old and no one are so attracted to it anymore. It rests in peace on a old storage drive, and gets replaced by a new generation. 👶🏼👦🏽👨🏽👴🏽

I really hate fucking Wordpress!

I hate it's stupid API, with it's stupid hooks and actions and all those stupid functions and no fucking logic to any of it!

I hate it's stupid plugin system, with all that fucking overhead that brings no real value and adds all that complexity for nothing!

I hate stupid fucking multiple calls for the same fucking assets, loading them over and over again because every stupid plugin calls them again and again!

I hate motherfucking SHORTTAGS, or whatever the fuck they are called!

I hate that every stupid fucking plugin and shortcode and fucking every little fucking piece of HTML comes from a different fucking place, with different fucking structure and different fucking classes and stupid fucking loading seaquences that make no fucking sense!

And I hate fucking page builders !!!!!

Fuck!!!!

I should be fucking coding on this fucking peace of shit, but I just cannot fucking take it any more!!!

IT NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE!

It should be relegated to the darkest corners of the internet and all the servers that have it's fucking code anyware on their systems should be disconnected and buried in the deepest pits of hell, just to be sure it never, EVER, surfaces again!!!

AAARRRRGGGHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!

No matter how big, error is...
It will rest in peace..
Never give up.
You are a coder.

@dfox must be flexing some ad space. I’ve seen an influx of new users the past few days. Welcome to devRant everyone.

Rest in peace Chester Bennington 😢

I propose to consider the question, "Can machines think?"
-Alan M Turing

My boss has gone for a long vacation from last week and will be back in Feb. And office feels soooo awesome and fun. No office politics, no senseless meetings. Just pure work in peace.

I wish he doesn't come back only....

My headphones just died because the battery is empty!
Not a good start!
I forgot the cable at home!

Bye bye peace, productivity, and focus

Doing occasional first & second level support besides my actual job of coding can be fucking annoying and time consuming.
Just let me code in peace and listen to doom metal!

"Blabla our 17 years old plotter does not respond blabla fix it please"
"My computer is so slow, make it faster"

Go die in your filthy office chairs by being pierced through the stinking butthole you ignorant endoplasmatische retikula!

When it's 5AM, you had zero sleep and your deadline is in 3 hours: Oh loard my saviour php, please - PLEASE just let my peace of shit code work for once. *reloads page*
Error message appears. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCK!

FML

Worked on these amazing production projects during my time at the internship. Now that I am about to leave, every fucking thing that can go wrong is going wrong.

Why can't I just leave in peace :(

People telling me what to do. I am 19 yo. I havent got into university, i have passed the bachelor's degree exam with 83.5% in computer science, i am employed in web development and i like it. Im not even thinking about going to university for now, not even getting a driving license, the stress is too big for now. I love traveling by bike. I enjoy listening to heavy metal and hard rock and I love peace more and i enjoy talking with people.
The biggest hurdle is people who tell me "do that because everyone does". And I'm not talking about my mom. She supported me everytime. I'm talking about people who doesn't belive in someone's knowledge and bothers the others. It's good if you give me advice and talk with me about it, but never be strict about that advice.

Finally, got this piece of beauty and badass combined, just to get some peace at work...

Now, dare those noisy neighbors, who doesn't silence their mobile and laptops, making loud chimes in IM, playing music on speakers and knocking at my desk when I'm on headphones and clearly don't want to be disturbed...

So lotta shit happened lately, life-wise and i don't know why but i have to share it:

There is a point after depression and being stressed out - it's this "well shit will work out someway.."-state of mind, where you have like an inner peace and everything is fine.

It's nice here.😪

My act of kindness today was posting the solution to an issue that an entire thread was having. No one could figure out why their code wasn't working properly. I stumbled upon it after hours of fiddling(I had the same issue) and now we can be at peace. Don't be that guy that doesn't share knowledge. Now I can go back to being selfish till tomorrow 😄

Had a hell of a day yesterday. I had to rescue my laptop from the pits of Satan.
After spending the day getting ready to move on from Antergos to Arch,
i couldn't boot into the OS anymore.
Not only that, i mis-selected the wrong setting in my BIOS settings
and ended up losing access to them too. I was panicking and losing all hope but then i remembered
the most important lesson my father ever tought me(may he rest in peace):
"Remeber son, when all else fails, remove the CMOS battery and put it back."
Lo and behold, it worked. So i'm back here, typing this from the laptop which
just 12 hours ago i thought i had lost forever.

Thanks dad.

I hate it when my manager lurks around when i am debugging and keeps giving random unsolicited advices. I spend more time explaining him why what he is saying does not make any sense than debugging.

A fight story (separation of concern) : work vs life

IT Director (IT'D) forwarded a client message (false detection) to my whatsapp (personal number). I am sitting next to his cabin.

After an hour,

ITD : what was the issue with the client x?
Me : (proved false detection),
ITD : did you emailed client?

Me : no, don't send me these in WhatsApp, if any issues, email me since I won't check whatsapp and there is no guarantee that I will reply you back.

ITD : why, don't be negative. Either you have to or me have to do it.

Me : Tell them to email.
ITD : That is not right.

Me : I don't care if you provide support via WhatsApp. But I don't. Unless you provide a separate mobile and connection.

End of story.

Twitter made me delete my tweet, and temporarily disabled a bunch of features.
Because I called mgk a retard ? Or because i used the Eminem's version of rest in peace i.e. rot in pieces ?
Or because I used the word Killshot ?
It's the name of the fucking song !!!

Whatever !
Fuck you twitter !
😑😑😑😑😑😑

We might achieve world peace one day and still won't have agreed over indentation.

Indentation = TAB. Just 1 character (N spaces = N characters = more disk space, duh!). And then each dev can chose their own TAB width (in spaces) in their IDE of choice. Beautiful.

FOR THE LOVE OF CHRISTMAS, LET'S STOP THE LANGUAGE WAR.
JUST FOR TODAY AND TOMORROW, WE CAN DO IT.

cssRant

Why for the sake of world peace can't Edge inherit "opacity" to children?
This drives me insane!!!11!!one!eleven!!1!!

Get you fucking turds together dear browser developers!

The whole webDev business gets serious crippling depression from your brainless way of pooping out what you call "browser"!

Anybody else feeling it after Chester Bennington's death recently? I'm nearly 30 years old, so I listened to him a lot through my teenage years. Linkin Park was practically my favorite band back then. I'm pretty bummed out man. 😔

Damn.

Looking for peace!

Declare variables ... Not War! #peace

Why can't we all live in peace?

Just use the "best tool for the job"!

There are no "bad" languages! -- You are just using the wrong language!

The dev usually sitting next to me is on vacation. Our senior dev is on vacation. Team analist, on a plane to a Greek beach as we speak. Both architects the company employs, gone for another two weeks or so. Lead analist, you guessed it, on vacation.

I'm enjoying the peace & quite for now but god forbid I run into any problems these next coming weeks.

fck you visual studio!!! seriously what is wrong with you?!?
~me peacfully writing some code ~
ok let's see what we did
vs: I can't compile that. The key whateverKey in line 15 is not defined.
me: ok let's investigate...
nowhere in line 15 use whateverKey.... ok....
wait I didn't change that file at all.
~me clicking rebuild solution~
vs: can't build that because of whateverKey in line 15.
me : WTF?!?
checking git diff -> file not changed
me okkkkkkk......
closing visual studio and reopening solution.
Build succeeded.
What the actuall hell?!?
I'm spending way too much time trying to get that shity peace of software to do what it is supposed to do!

!dev !rant

The Legendary Physicist entered this realm on the 300th death anniversary of Galileo and departed on the 139th birthday of Albert Einstein, the Pi π day.

Rest in Peace Stephen Hawking!

Happiness is removing all the compiling warning from a project which has half a million of lines of codes

*peace*

After years of coding I've come to peace with my code.

I like debugging.

If only the people knew how much anger devrant was saving them from.

First thing on Monday morning drama.

I like to get in early, the office is empty, I can have my coffee in peace and (relative) quiet. At 8:25 I get a phone call from a client. They've moved their domain to a new registrar. The site and their emails no longer work "should we have told you we were moving it?"

No words. Just, no words.

Thankfully they're being calm about it, I think they realise their mistake. But holy FUCK NUGGETS, IF YOU CHANGE ANYTHING RELATED TO YOUR SITE OR EMAILS OR DOMAIN, TELL THE GUYS WHO ARE HANDLING IT.

After spending many many hours trying to create a CMS in JS with Vue, I've given up.

Fuck it.

I don't have the time or patience or knowledge to figure this bullshit out. I'm doing it with Laravel and with black, and hookers!

Peace out.

Who the fuck uses http code 200 for a failure. Seriously have you ever heard something about a need to parse the shit you're returning...

Now I don't know whether it's me who's wrong, but man there are more than 80 different codes defined so there really should be something for you, don't you think?

And don't give me shit like "well the request worked so we return 200 it's only that the request wasn't correct". What for a fucking peace of something are you... Those codes are for that exact reason.

Anyways I'm going to parse the shit with string compare and afterwards kill myself out of shame. Whish me luck...

No, you cannot ask us to move our tech meeting elsewhere because we're being "loud", for the same reason we don't ask you to leave the area because your non-work-related chatter is distracting us from our said meeting. It's the only video conferencing system in the joint, and it's not our fault you and your people sit nearby. How dare you go past us and complain to our boss as if we're nothing to you - just because you were recently promoted, don't act like you were never in the trenches with the rest of us. It's like you have no respect for us now that you've gone a step up the ladder. The next time you or your team members try to fuck with us like that over petty shit like this, we're going to bring the hammer down on your asses and burn every last vestige of self-worth you have by making sure you never get a moment's peace. It's bad enough you and your team suck each other off during our bi-weekly department meeting by patting yourselves on the back for doing what's supposed to be your fucking jobs - don't you dare try to drag us down to make yourselves look like fucking saints. That is where I cross the goddamn line.

Boss: oh so you are working on that unrealistic 3week project ? Let me also assign you some completely unrelated office work.
Me: But I'm a programmer, researching other companies and contacting them looking for new projects is not part of my job descrip...
Boss: oh don't worry I'm sure you'll do great!
Me: that's not what I'm sayi...
Boss: ok I have to go now, have it ready by tomorrow!
Me:(crying internally)...ok.

To the cock-sucking dev who decided it was a good idea to commit 5k+ lines of code written in his "own standard" accross multiple files, in a large project where all devs abide strictly to a certain standard set by the project description.

Fucking incompetent douchenoggin, you're about as useful as Anne Franks drum set!
I'm not saying you're the dumbest person on earth, but you sure better hope, he doesn't die.
Deadshit, dick sucking, penis grabbing sorry excuse of a human being.

Peace out.

Kiss for fucks sake! What the fuck of an ORM is Sequelize? How the fuck do I have to write a 50 line query json to get a query for a single object going, which doesn't work then because that shit peace of software has a bug that breaks findOne and forces you to use findAll and use the first and only hit?!

Well yes, I looked in your garbage SEO docs for that issue, but whenever I look for something specific I just end up on your optimized as hell querying for noobs doc page. FUCK YOU!

Seriously, you guys working with Sequelize saved me many hours. But fuck your fuckups! And ajfjekidjjskrhbdkaowbdjdkwobdnfie

Me - If only there where more people like this in the world, surely world Peace would be achieved.

Friend - maybe, but don't call me sherley.

When I moved away from my family for my studies, I found myself alone for the first time in AGES. It caused bad things to my brain but since, I really enjoy loneliness, peace, and not having anyone to disturb you.

When I check Facebook (from where I'll remove my account soon), all I see is people craving for likes, feng shui bullshit and useless stuff from people I don't speak to since I left my family.

There are these times where I wish I could get off the grid without having to say goodbye, move to Canada, and reset everything, delete all my accounts from everywhere, build a shelter and stay there.

Man, I miss loneliness

I once built an app because my girlfriend travels a lot and I was worried she might be kidnapped. App becomes a big deal, now I have to add more features. I really just wanted a holiday and peace of mind.

I swear.. Whoever comes up with a better and fixed version of CSS that makes sense when you use it should probably get a Nobel Peace prize for the peace of mind it would give to its users..!!!

Highspeed Internet in germany. Ftp ftw! .. I sometimes had over 64kb last night. Beautiful!

I will create and Easteregg in my actual project for you Chester, rest in peace friend

Does anyone else value their bathroom breaks during the work day a little more than they should? Its like 5 minutes of peace to calm your brain. Sometimes I lapse into a mini-coma and imagine I'm on an island with a margarita

A couple of weeks ago I went to an interview where I was asked the following questions back to back: "What would you do if you were the prime minister?" && "What would you do if you were the attorney general of the United Nations".
Needless to say, I wasn't prepared for that...

Co-worker is in his office.
Co-worker whistles continuously "The rains of Castamere" from the Game of Thrones series.
I like Game of Thrones.
I also like the series' score.
But not the way my co-worker interprets it.
Because it's wrong.
Anyway, he whistles.
Sometimes louder, sometimes less so.
It's very out of tune.
It's annoying.
I can't concentrate, let alone code.
Co-worker goes to a meeting.
Silence.
I delete the bullshit I've written earlier.
Then, I get some coding done.
Then, I'm relaxed again.
Then, Co-worker returns.
Now he hums.
It's the same song.
Over and over again.
Again.
It's not that much out of tune, but it's still annoying.
I can't think, I can't concentrate, let alone code.

My thoughts drift to a certain Red Wedding.
I imagine it in vivid detail.
Strangely, it's a happy place right now.
I imagine throwing my screen through two fucking walls.
I don't do it, because the laws of physics are against me.
But the thought is enough.
I'm at peace, again.

... also, I got to leave early today, so I got that going for me which is nice.

(I already had to tell that co-worker *not* to whistle loudly in the cafeteria - you can hear it in a big part of the building. We had some important customers over and Office Management was not amused.)

I feel I have developed some sort of digital hoarding and can't be at peace just browsing before the night, I have to save, like, ++, whatever or I feel I will some day think of that specific content (image, post, music, video, ..) and never be able to find it, it did happen before, which probably engraved that even further or was the cause, but it's just such a disease not to be able to just browse and not worry about some day having the need to find it again.

Inspired by Max Payne's
"The Things That I Want"

I present Polaroidkidd's
"The Things That I Love"

A sleeping girlfriend.
A terrace in a warm summer night with a power outlet.
A cold beer.
A pack of cigarettes.
A working WiFi.
A pair of charged Bose 35 QuietComforts.
A minimal electro playlist.
A peace of mind, attainable solely through solitude.

let gfInput = '';
try {
gfInput = getInput('Will you marry me? ')
if(gfInput == 'Y'){
// KISS HER
}else{
throw {msg: 'she dumped you.', code: 'red'}
}
} catch( err ) {
//if err.code !== red . just cry but if red... uh oh
if(err.code == 'red'){
// GOTTA DO SOME DAMAGE
let msg = {
sender: 'anonymous',
recipients : ['dad', 'mom', 'brother', 'sister', 'uncle'],
messageBody: '****ntha has been fucking some dude...'
}

sendText(msg);
}
} finally{
// send ****ntha a good bye message
var msg = {
sender: 'pk359',
recipients: ['****ntha'],
messageBody: 'I invite you ****ntha to my wedding with your best friend *licia. PEACE, bit*h'
}
sendText(msg)
}

I had to bite my tongue today when the MD and my colleague started to have a conversation about remote working "not working". It doesn't ******* work if you sit at your mom's kitchen table, cramped around "the team" while all using laptops without additional monitors.... yeah sure, my 3 monitors, large desk, peace and quiet and the ability to go to the bathroom without a security card "doesn't work" and is such a bad environment to get stuff done. ARGGGGG

I finally have a day off to work on some projects in peace. Oh wait, my fucking roommate keeps knocking on the door every 3 seconds. LEAVE. ME. THE. FUCK. ALONE.

OMFG. Here's a self-rant for you all...

So, working on a JS library to build widgets, I five across some weird behaviour where I expect `$.ajax.apply()` to pass something to the chained `.done()` method, but it comes out differently.

Fuck. Right, time to visit StackOverflow and glean some knowledge.

I post a question, complete with examples and descriptions and a little midget unicorn in the corner for world peace.

Come back a bit later to see what's happened, and nobody understands my damn question!

So I proceed to debate a few points with some other devs, going back and forth for a while, but still nobody knows what I'm asking.

Fuck. Time for a JSFiddle...

Copy code from the jQuery docs and start modifying it to show what I was working with... Now suddenly is all working as the docs say.

O.o

So I go look back at my own code again to try work out what's actually going on.

Turns out I completely missed MY OWN CODE.

Fuck me.

I love when a PM makes a big deal to get their own office but then takes personal calls with the door open. On speaker phone. To his wife with 3 screaming kids in the background. While everyone is trying to work. Fml. Just let me code in peace.

Question: How do i automate sales people?

The great epic continues!

I just want to start off by saying a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who commented on my last post about this situation. You were all incredibly helpful. I fucking love you guys!

JoshBent, Bitwise, Michelle, FrodoSwaggins and PerfectAsshole I will tag you glorious humans so you know I love you.

Anyway, the saga continues. It turns out, there was a second contract alluded to within my initial contract that only became valid once I was a "senior member" which I became after the previous senior abandoned ship.

I am stuck until January, legally. I can be sued for damages if I leave before the contract with the client ends and I can be held personally responsible for anything that occurs due to my leaving before completion of said contract.

So basically, I'm fucked. That's the gist of it. Thankfully the company I was supposed to be leaving for have been really amazing about it all and have said that they'll wait until I am officially, legally able to leave. They offered legal advice as well.

My current boss hasn't paid me for last month yet, he basically refuses to talk about the incident, the other managers are angry at everything and want to talk but don't want to leave and two people have already quit on the spot this week.

I'm in a very confused mindset currently where I'm happy that I know where I stand, I'm angry that I'm basically a prisoner and I'm confused as to what I should be doing. I feel like I should be doing substandard work but it goes against so much of me.

I'm sure I've left a lot out but I just want to keep those interested updated and to vent a little.

Can I invade boom beach in peace devRant!! Jeez.......

I work 3 PM to 1 AM as a daily office job. Then go home and try to learn programming. Wake up next day at 8:30 AM for kind of another work until 1PM. Doesn't pay as much but I have to try. Then if I get free time do some freelance on UPWORK with whatever little graphic designing I know to help pay the bills.

And the fact that even my laptop is dying is a huge blow. Don't know when it might give up. Has 1st gen core i5 dual core, takes ages to load Adobe softwares. I have wanted to hulksmash this shit, but can't.

If I'm lucky, I get a stress free 6 hours of sleep a few days a month. And my depression doesn't help. More sleep should ease me a little, but I can't afford to waste any time. But this is life, isn't it.

Peace in the Middle East vs your users totally satisfied

I'm at peace when PM speaks nothing

and

pay is coming.

Weirdest thing I should be the most stressed I've ever been 🤔, my work load is insane right now

I am getting paid well for it 😏

But honestly I'm more at peace then I ever have been 😉

I love my job - remember these times

FUCK YOU ACCESS!!! FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!! FUCK YOU DB PROF FOR FORCING IS TO USE THIS FUCKING PEACE OF CRAPWARE!!!
In the time I spent cursing at Microsofts bullshit I could have done the task twice in MySQL and would already have a nice looking fucking UI for this shit. FUCKING HELL.

As a junior developer I'm thinking way too serious about putting this information on my resumé...
" I'LL ANSWER STUPID QUESTIONS SO YOU GUYS CAN WORK ON PEACE "

Microsoft FrontPage. At the time I thought it was the stuff. I still cringe when I think that I started my career in web development with that overwrought, underpowered, non-scalable, inefficient, barely functional piece of garbage. May it, and its creators, not Rest In Peace.

Have you ever got so stressed because everything is falling around you that you automatically just went into full peace mode because there was nothing you could do to reverse the damage?

Just installed Keras, theano, PyTorch and Tensorflow on Windows 10 with GPU and CUDA working...
Took me 2 days to do it on my PC, and then another two days of cryptic compiler errors to do it on my laptop. It takes an hour or so on Linux... But now all of my devices are ready to train some Deep Deep Learning models )
I don't think even here many people will understand the pain I had to go through, but I just had to share it somewhere since I am now overcome with peace and joy.

I spent the entire weekend studying C#.

..Forgot I had a test today. Whoops.

Random guy : Well, I'm a real developer, I followed a 2 days formation on internet.
Me : Well, I gave 1$ to a homeless this morning, still waiting my Nobel for peace.

I recently realized that I've been using 2 text editors and 1 IDE pretty much at the same time for different purposes.

Atom -> Code Beautification (atom-beautify is simply the best)
VSCode -> for actual coding (blazing fast and quite good completions)
Webstorm -> cleanup the code, optimize imports

And that made me thing why is it so hard to have all these things in one application (be it a core feature or a plugin/extension). And then I realized smth, only webstorm more has all the features built in, but I don't need/want full IDE for web development (Angular / React) alas it has great features like component automatic imports etc, but not a deal breaker.

So I am having a dilllema. On one hand, Atom has everything I need (especially atom-beautify, my OCD is at peace) except for proper completions (partially solved with extensions) and terminal integrations. On the other hand, VSCode is very fast, has good code assistance but half-broken import completions and terrible code beautification even with extensions such as jsbeautify that require you to have a separate file for each project instead of it being an editor setting/plugin like in Atom.

/* insert joke here */ When will Atom and VSCode go super Saiyan mode and become "Atomized Visual Code" :P I wanna stop bunny hopping between editors!

Sometimes I just feel happy, just happy.

Let's stop worrying about not meeting deadlines and the several loc that needs to be checked for bugs and optimized, and let's just be grateful that you're not on the streets not able to even have a square meal a day.

Let's just forget about stuff and occasionally be happy that you're gifted, if ur reading this you're definitely privileged, atleast to some extent, so try being happy for it once a while :)

Peace

I work remotely from the rest of my team and I just came back from a 1 week vacation. Logged in this morning and no one else was online...

My first thought was WTF happened... did something blow up do bad they all gelot fired???

Turns out today is a holiday for them. So now I've a whole day of peace and quiet to figure out what the hell in supposed to be doing again.

!dev
Today, on the Hypocrite show we have a bunch of hypocrit wankers talking meta. For example, this just in, a bunch of talkative wanker classmates, all gorls (yes, this is not a typo (yes it's for sarcastic goal (yes read it in Gru's voice (no I don't do Lisp stop asking)))), start talking about how they don't like their lower-graders talking too much they, the previously mentioned "gorls", are around and would prefer them to shut up and let enjoy their "peace and quiet". Oh I don't know, you wankers wants my 2-page 11px complain on you talking too much in class and everywhere you go?

Funny topic. I normally am very understanding of incompetence when it comes from nothing more than lack of experience. Happens to all who at one point is a junior dev.
As long as people have the willingess to learn I find myself being very understanding.

I take a lot of effort in helping others, I don't mind at all, and I would rather take them extra 10 mins to explain how to do something than to slap people with rtfm and then blame them completely when their lack of experience messes up stuff. I also take care of providing isolated environments and giving explanations. Even when they screw up, it is isolated from the rest and I can teach them what was wrong, most of the time they figure it out themselves. It has made my coworkers respect me more, rather than being a total dick that believes that what I do is sacred and should be spared from newbs (like all the idiots in S.O) i take the approach of a very patient mentor.

But I am a hippie, shit works for me.

But I do not excuse shitty attitudes and arrogance. I find that not knowing is fine, but acting as if one knows all and then fucking shit up makes it bad.
Which is when I change, I am a hippie but can get violent pretty quickly.

I have been screwed over shitty attitudes more than incompetence.

Unit test works, unit test works... commit it, push it, take screenshot of it, and go to sleep... peacefully...

Today I tried to rant but could not. My manager was on leave and today I almost attained nirvana with so much peace and solace in my work. It's such a delight

// first rant

So this isn't really a "dev" rant but I'm a developer taking my first ever design class. It's a senior level, group based class where we design a mobile OS from the ground up, using any inspiration we like. I love it because I'm the developer and designer for all of the Android apps I've worked on so far. I get to practice my design skills and have a portfolio addition. Neat! It's a pretty easy class too.

But my group. Oh God my group.

I spent a week and a half designing the style guide and it was jam packed with anything we'd need. Typography, icons, rationales, you name it!

But noooo, they can't use it because it's not in sketch. As a Windows user, this is infuriating. So three weeks go by and all this work is done that's SUPER INCONSISTENT. Bad colors, elements off by 3px... I mean even the font sizes are just 1 or 2 off. Seriously, I wish I could just be frank with them and tell them to put in the 1% effort to make it right. It's really not that hard. I just don't want to screw up the peace in my group..

horrible terrorist attack in Uri, Kashmir.
may the jawans rest in peace 🙏
enough is enough.
time for change ✊

I hate the Android update policy as hell. Why do they have to publish a new version each year? Why not a LTS version which is supported for 5 years? Barely no manufacturer is able to change their own interface aiming to adept it to the new Android version. Windows isn't publishing a new os every year. They just update it regularly to implement new functions. Ubuntu is doing the same.
WHY THE FUCK NOT ANDROID?
My HTC A9 was the first with Android 6. I didn't get Android 7 until now?! I paid a lot of money for this peace of shit! And I was granted an update for Android 7. So where is it HTC? Where?!?!?!?!?!?!

I'll tell all my dev employees to use devrant. Why? Because I'll definitely rant about him/her, so he should do the same about me.

My computer is dying. It's been a slow, painful process where the screen starts flickering badly when the battery is low. Now it flickers constantly if the power cord isn't plugged in. Today the screen flickers even if the power cord is plugged in. (Tried changing the battery, etcetera) You served me well. I'm going to frame the screen and put it as a painting on the wall. Rest in peace friend.

!rant !dev
Finished side project last month. It was hell of a ride, about 300-350 hours of programming and solving problems per month for over half a year, including my regular remote job.

Side project was 1 hour commute time from my house.

There were days where I was working over 16 hours per day.

During this roller coaster I also changed my diet to keto and lost about 12kg / 26 lbs.
Kept my regular remote job where I am the only backend developer.
Donated to eff.
Started listen to audiobooks and exercise to keep my mind clear and focused.
Finally I discovered devrant.

It was all crazy shit and I feel happy I did it because now 5 days after I finished this side project I started to think that my life is not so fucked up I thought it is. This gave me my confidence back.

Now it’s time to rest before some new crazy shit would hit my life.
Peace

Now I feel a bit bad about the guy I ranted about before, who did all the talk but none of the work. I started to tell my colleagues and even my boss about my impression. And my boss concurred, was actually so fed up with him that he confronted him...
Later on turned out he was the only one able to repair our mangled git history. Dunno how it'll pan out. The guy is also our 'scrum master'. Maybe doesn't always have to be love, peace and harmony. Time to explore our darker sides and yank out some motherfucking code.

CSS is pure
CSS is peace
CSS is life
btw is quite stressing too...

The best/worst code comments you have ever seen?

Mine:

//Upload didn't work, have to react:
system.println('no result');

//$Message gives out a message in the compiler log.
{$Message Hint 'Feed the cat'}

//Not really needed

//Closed source - Why even comments?

//Looks like bullshit, but it has to be done this way.

//This one's really fucked up.

//If it crashes, click again.

asm JMP START end; //because no goto XP

catch {
//shit happens
}

//OMG!!! And this works???

asm
...
mov [0], 0 //uh, maybe there is a better way of throw an exception
...
mov [0], 0 //still a strange way to notify of an error

// this makes it exiting -- in other words: unstable !!!!!

//Paranoic - can't happen, but I trust no one.

else {
//please no -.-
sleep(0);
}

//wuppdi

for (int i = random(500); i < 1000 + random(500 + random(250)); i++)
{
// Do crap, so its harder to decompile
}

//This job would be great if it wasn't for the f**king customers.

//TODO: place this peace of code somewhere else...

// Beware of bugs in the code above; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

{$IFDEF VER93}
//Good luck
{$DEFINE VER9x}
{$ENDIF}

//THIS SHIT IS LEAKING! SOMEONE FIX IT! :)

/* no comment */

Just an update : never fucking install windows 7 on a new desktop without first reading , fucking piece of shit won’t detect my SSD , tried different solution over the Internet to no success, after 3 hours of nerve wrecking debugging I read a post on the Internet that “some”(not sure which) versions of windows just don’t detect an SSD,
Finally done by installing windows 10,
But nooooooo will windows let me die in peace, noooooooo
Every fucking time I restart my PC “ windows is installing updates
I mean fuck you , how fucking many bugs do you squash in a day.

Probably some engineer at Microsoft will be “ oops o dropped a donut on my keyboard, let just press ctrl + z” to undo changes and upload , lol “

Every time there's an update for xcode, I claw back some measure of inner peace while waiting for it to download by pre-emptively rating it 1 star on the app store

Woot, everyone's sleep, now I can code in peace

It's been 2 years that I've booted into Windows.. Inner peace attained..

(Not a rant)
Mantra for a good life : Stage the good bits, .gitignore the bad ones. Commit and push to Memory !

Peace ☮️

i often put my headset/earphone on to avoid nonsense from other people.

ffs, give us a break and let us code in peace

Wanna know about hacks? I'll tell you. There is a peace of software called SugarCRM. It has OAuth2 provider implementation. I was assigned to write OAuth2 consumer for it.
It turned out they just failed to make it right.
The list of hacks:
* Hack on standard Authentication header. They use custom.
* Hack on "scope". They send null which is standard violation. So it is replaced to empty string before response processing starts.
* This is my favorite. Refresh token simply doesn't work. So we need to store user's credentials in memory to be able to reauthenticate user transparently.

when you're girlfriend lets you play video games in peace, but you know it won't be like this

A Merry Christmas to everyone here in DevRant community. I wish for you a season of goodwill, peace and happiness. May your frustrations coupled with depressions reduce! Also Happy Holidays. 😊😊😊

Friend: Hey I am rebasing my commits and got stuck into a weird window and i was not able to come out of it?
Me: It is vi LMAO. Just press `:wq`
Friend: Wait I'm pressing the same but still nothing happened, it is displaying on my screen?

... After 200 messages...
Me: Just close the computer and I am going to Himalayas. Peace

Just "finished" a side project (I know right, unprecedented) to be graced immediately afterward with another approach to vastly improve one of its features. Well shit, now I HAVE to implement it otherwise it'll just bug the shit out of me for the rest of time!

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME BRAIN! JUST LET ME FINISH MY SHITTY SIDE PROJECTS WITH PEACE AND QUIET!

So I'm sitting there in Android practice. I already have some experience with Android, so the exercises they make us do are quite easy for me. Nevertheless I start doing the exercises, when the teacher tells us that whoever implemented last week's exercise well gets a + point (and a pat on the back).

Implementing it well only means that you used a Model class for your Model (basic stuff). I raise my hand, hoping to get that sweet ++.
Teacher comes over. My laptop dies. Can't boot for shit. All the while I'm losing my shit. Then I remember that I have the code up on Github (I started using git for these small projects, to practice it). I showed the teacher my code on Github and the app on my phone (I debug from my phone because there is no way I can run an emulator on my laptop). I got the ++ and the teacher was delighted that someone was using Git, even though they didn't *have to*.

I definitely learned my lesson there. I'll be using Github for all of the small shitty projects we have from now on. My Github repo might look like garbage, but I will have peace of mind.

i installed xubuntu again. this is it folks. full circle. at least now i can have steam in peace.

!rant

Today I finally found a randomly appearing bug that prevented our nightly backup on our production servers! Finally!
Now I can go to sleep in peace.

Join a military organization set on keeping peace between humans and machines, and then, when people disband our team because they live in peace, become a vigilante.

++ if you know who's this