When your boss gives her boss an update on your project that isn't true, and makes you look incompetent, just because she had no idea. Fucking muppet.

I would make unintelligent customers disappear.

Reason:
What did I do today, one may ask? Spent the entire day debugging code and creating test cases to fix a high priority trouble ticket submitted by the PM of a program.....where nothing was wrong to begin with.
User error makes the world sad.

Someone did something right - i sometimes get anxiety and this little wonder helps tremendously....

Holding it while it spins....thats all it takes and "poof" - anxiety gone and am 110% able to focus

When our org got sold to another company, and we weren't informed about anything that was going on. There were whispers of emails that went out, that we first thought meant we were keeping our jobs, but it turned out emails = severance packages. Friends that I have worked with for years were dropping like flies and all we could do was wait.....it was awful, and extremely emotional 😢

Seriously trying not to fall asleep during compliance training at work....there's SIX HOURS worth of content each employee has to go through annually on their bday month....it's making me so slee....😴

Happy Mothers Day!! - to all the devRant moms out there 😃 ❤ 💐

When it's the wee hours of the morning, and you know you should go to sleep....but.....devRant 😃

Was going through my rants and started deleting ones that I thought were dumb. There were more than a handful. What I did *not* know was that your +1 status doesn't keep past +1's. If you delete a rant - those +1's go away...lol serves me right for posting sub par rants in the first place, dont you think? 😝

Anyone else getting used to seeing certain usernames in devRant? We may not have "friends" like Facebook, but is still a kick ass community 😃

I know a lot of you already know/do this, but to those of you who don't - I know it has saved me more than once:

If you use SSMS (SQL Server Management Studio) - when connecting to a server, before you hit the "connect" button, under options, choose a color to represent which server you are connecting to. I personally use stoplight colors: red = prod, yellow = QA, green = dev....this way, it helps you realize what server you are connected to, minimizing our dreaded "oh shit" moments....lol

Hopefully this helps someone ☺

Work instant messenger....I turn my status to "offline" to give myself relief from constant interruptions

I hate days where I have to go into the office (I work remote most days). Today's aroma is a mixture of burnt cheese and feet....WHY people...whyyyy 😢

Stickers are here!! 😃

I think there is such a thing as "getting too comfortable with the people you work with".

My boss came over and wanted to show me how to do a new process. We start going through the steps and a question arises. I then IM my team lead, because he's the one who would know the answer, and all I get back from him is sarcastic comments and profanity (he doesn't know my boss is sitting at my comp with me). So I keep trying to get him to be serious, and he just keeps his mouth (well, fingers) going. (He is remote - not in our bldg). I want so badly to shut him up because what if he says something about my boss while she is sitting there? Not that he does that, but at the pace he's going, it no longer would surprise me.

There should be some sort of code to hint to your team to STFU and give a fucking answer when one is needed. Sort of like what kids do to hint that a parent is in the room, but for work?

When your customer calls you out and asks why "such and such" data wasn't copied over to the other two instances.

Then, thinking of course that it must be my fault: *research begins*

Reply to customer:
Your boss sent me an email that listed data points to *not* copy over, the item in question being one of them.

BAM!! ....developers: 1 customer: 0

How many bits are in a nibble?

(nybble/nyble)

....I did not know, nor did I know what a nibble was...WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.....any takers?

I now leave my work IM status as "Away". It's the only way people leave me alone so I can get work done...*shrug* ☺

I never ever give out my cell # to ppl at work. If they need to speak with me, I provide them my work # only.

Two weeks ago, went to a customer site. For ONE minute, I had an email on the screen that had my personal cell #.

Last Tuesday - out walking dog: call from customer to personal cell.

Last Thursday - getting ready for work, brushing teeth: call from customer to personal cell.

Last Friday - grabbing lunch: call from customer to personal cell.

Yesterday - in a meeting: call from customer to personal cell.

I'm gonna cry 😢

Product owner: when will you have that script written and submitted to DBAs?
Me: if nobody bugs me, hopefully COB today.
Product owner: great!
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
Team lead: write this other script.
Me: I just finished user support, I have another script to write first. Does yours take priority?
Team lead: yes.
Me: ok....*sigh*
*writes 2nd script*
*submits 2nd script to DBAs*
Product Owner: you done?
Me: *face palm* ......NO!

When you face the dilemma of wanting to share devRant with your friends but face giving up your anonymity....also, what if you forget you ranted about them and they find out? Hmmm.....

This one made me giggle....lol 😂

lol....To all our IT guys (and girls) out there ☺

When you're too sick to code but devRant makes you smile at least...

A customer who frequently calls me for help just called and let me know that I was on speaker for a room full of people who had questions. Nothing like being put on the spot with zero warning....jeez. And I'm sick today, so I bet my sniffles made me sound awesome. But we went through everyone's questions and all is now good.

!rant
Something that has probably stuck with me the most and has changed how I think about things:

"If you can't think of at least 3 different ways to approach an issue, you do not fully understand it yet."

Haha, always a gem ❤

When you open devRant and the first thing you see is "Fuck you, Windows." and you can't help but giggle 😂

When the idea of a split keyboard is awesome but you've programmed your brain to type "b" with your RIGHT hand....*face palm*

#truth

When it's Monday morning, before 10 am, and customers start instant messaging you with angry looking emojis...*sigh*

😠 👽 🔫 🔥