*Client calles me at 7Am*

Client: why did you make everything smaller on my website ?

Me: look at the right side of your URL bar, do you see a minus sign ?

Client: yah, so ?

Me: click on it and set it back to default.

Client: oh ok this is working for me now, will this fix apply globally across the internet

Me: ...

Client: oh I think I asked a stupid question, thanks mate have a good day.

Me: you're welcome...

This was during the first day of my first real dev job, straight out of college. I didn’t have have much experience with version control since I did mostly solo projects in college, and I wasn’t exposed to SVN or Git in school at all.

One of the senior devs was going to give me and another new guy a brief overview of the codebase. He sets us up with the GitHub repo for the codebase and tells us to clone the codebase locally. I didn’t really know what this meant but I felt kind of embarrassed to ask, so I just clicked “download as zip” on The GitHub repo.

After a minute he saw what I had done and was like “yeah, that’s not what you want to do” and showed me how to clone it. I was kind of embarrassed but I learned Git pretty quickly after that.

I don’t really have a moral to this story except that “no question is a stupid one” is much easier said than done for many people, and it can be embarrassing to ask certain questions sometimes.

These "math question" captchas are really stupid.
It's not even an image that has to be OCR-ed, it's just plaintext. Why can't these people understand a captcha is supposed to be something only a person can do? This is math. Computers are amazing at math.

FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me

The most stupid question you can ask at an open source software event?

"So, this system, is it open source?"

I asked this to a guy at a stand about the system he was presenting (forgot the project name).

He stared at me with a wtf face and then replied with "....yes.... of course.... this is an OPEN SOURCE software event?!"

I felt quite fucking stupid.

Storytime!

Manager: Hey fullstackchris, the maps widget on our app stopped working recently...

Dev: (Skeptical, little did he know) Sigh... probably didn't raise quota or something stupid... Logs on to google cloud console to check it out...

Google Dashboard: Your bill.... $5,197 (!!!!!!) Payment method declined (you think?!)

Dev: 😱 WTF!?!?!! (Calls managers) Uh, we have HUGE problem, charges for $5000+ in our google account, did you guys remove the quota limits or not see any limit reached warnings!?

Managers: Uh, we didn't even know that an API could cost money, besides, we never check that email account!

Dev: 🤦‍♂️ yeah obviously you get charged, especially when there have literally been millions of requests. Anyway, the bigger question is where or how our key got leaked. Somewhat started hammering one of the google APIs with one of our keys (Proceeds to hunt for usages of said API key in the codebase)

Dev: (sweating 😰) did I expose an API key somewhere? Man, I hope it's not my fault...

Terminal: grep results in, CMS codebase!

Dev: ah, what do we have here, app.config, seems fine.... wait, why did they expose it to a PUBLIC endpoint?!

Long story short:

The previous consulting goons put our Angular CMS JSON config on a publicly accessible endpoint.

WITH A GOOGLE MAPS API KEY.

JUST CHILLING IN PLAINTEXT.

Though I'm relieved it wasn't my fault, my faith in humanity is still somewhat diminished. 🤷‍♂️

Oh, and it's only Monday. 😎

Cheers!

I hired a guy on upwork. His english is shit. But hes done the work correctly. Fast forward today he asked me "off topic question but do u have any female friend who can accompany me to fuck?"

WTF IS THIS SHIT

That is not professional AT ALL. I dont give a shit about the fact he cant get no bitches so hes begging me as if im some kind of a pimp. On upwork?? Gtfo.

Now i understand why companies want to hire only people with college DEGREES because they have went through the process of conforming and dont ask stupid shit questions. Eliminates a lot of bullshit and Neanderthals like this guy

Ffs

QUESTION: HOW TO CODE A?

STACK OVERFLOW: HOW ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID? YOU DO THIS. THAT'S HOW YOU CODE B.

Woken up early by a WhatsApp message, classmate asked a stupid bash scripting question. Replied with profanity and foul language.
Turns out it was the official chat group with faculty and everyone. FML

No question is stupid they said!!

Saturday late night wisdom.

Software developers you need to work on communication skills.
Everytime LinkedIn says need a problem solver. It means a guy who can understand what non technical guy is asking for and translate that to a software or at least come up with a example of why he is wrong. Explain them. They are not dumb fellows for asking that feature. You might think the feature is stupid. Don't assume this. Sit with them. Understand thier user flow, understand the frustration your software is causing them. Then you'll see why are asking for that X feature.

Every feature request made is basically my opportunity of understanding of product. Don't wait for users to tell you requirements. Understand and suggest, implement prototypes and show them, a causal question such as "Hey would you think providing a keyboard shortcut for this submission is great?"

Understand our job is not just to write software.

Our job is to solve thier problems using software knowledge.

Don't you agree ?

It seems like every other day I run into some post/tweet/article about people whining about having the imposter syndrome. It seems like no other profession (except maybe acting) is filled with people like this.

Well lemme answer that question for you lot.

YES YOU ARE A BLOODY IMPOSTER.

There. I said it. BUT.

Know that you're already a step up from those clowns that talk a lot but say nothing of substance.

You're better than the rockstar dev that "understands" the entire codebase because s/he is the freaking moron that created that convoluted nonsensical pile of shit in the first place.

You're better than that person who thinks knowing nothing is fine. It's just a job and a pay cheque.

The main question is, what the flying fuck are you going to do about being an imposter? Whine about it on twtr/fb/medium? HOW ABOUT YOU GO LEARN SOMETHING BEYOND FRAMEWORKS OR MAKING DUMB CRUD WEBSITES WITH COLOR CHANGING BUTTONS.

Computers are hard. Did you expect to spend 1 year studying random things and waltz into the field as a fucking expert? FUCK YOU. How about you let a "doctor" who taught himself medicine for 1 year do your open heart surgery?

Learn how a godamn computer actually works. Do you expect your doctors and surgeons to be ignorant of how the body works? If you aspire to be a professional WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STAY AT THE SURFACE.

Go learn about Compilers, complete projects with low level languages like C / Rust (protip: stay away from C++, Java doesn't count), read up on CPU architecture, to name a few topics.

Then, after learning how your computers work, you can start learning functional programming and appreciate the tradeoffs it makes. Or go learn AI/ML/DS. But preferably not before.

Basically, it's fine if you were never formally taught. Get yourself schooled, quit bitching, and be patient. It's ok to be stupid, but it's not ok to stay stupid forever.

/rant

I really, really hate it when someone has a problem/question, and I really dedicate my heart and soul to write a really good answer that even a stupid person would understand - with drawing, explanations and shit. And they answer is just:
"Thanks"
"Ok"
"I dont get it"
"Can you please do it"
"you spelled that wrong"

I am officially my Manager's own personal google.

"What is the Wifi Password?"
"I can't print this, can you help?"
"How do I switch keyboard layout?"
"How do I turn on the computer?"
"How do I close the door of my office?"

Soon she's going to call me "Ok Google, <stupid question>"

The strangest place I've ever coded... I woudn't say it was the strangest, but definitely the least expected?

The hospital's recovery room after my second child.

I was working at/in Hell at the time (see previous rants concerning API Guy and the asshole salesman CEO). Said salesman douchebag ceo bossman had no recollection of me being expecting, going to the hospital, or even why I was there (and if he did, he wouldn't have cared at all). He still insisted I work on his shit features because they were so important for his ever-so-important client and their new signups that they were going to do anyway. I loathe him so fucking much.

Anyway, the feature in question was pretty tiny: during the new client onboarding process, if the client came from a specific affiliate link, the frontpage should change to reflect that affiliate's branding -- different background, a custom header, etc. It was pretty easy to do, though I made certain he didn't know that. During an hour while everyone else was asleep (and while I wasn't passing out from exhaustion), I pulled out my macbook air and built his stupid feature next to my hours-hold newborn.

Did I get any appreciation for that? Sure! He showed appreciation by not yelling at me for a few days. But only because he thought the feature was difficult and that I got it done quickly, not because anything else was difficult. Asshole.

Yes, I told him several times before and several times more afterward. I don't know what goes though his head or how it even works, but it didn't seem like a big deal to him, and he kept forgetting, or maybe he just pretended to listen like he always did. Fucking asshole apparently never heard of maternity leave. I could rant and swear and curse and fume and rage about him for years 🤬 I can't believe I was so excited when I netted that job.

But anyway, building the feature was actually kind of relaxing. I organized and wrote the entire project myself, so working with it was a pleasure, and it was an easy change that I could abstract nicely and cleanly. I totally didn't mind doing it, and actually kind of enjoyed it. I just hated who I was doing it for, and that he didn't fucking care. Used and abused? absolutely. I hope he dies in the most painful, gruesome way possible. Spaghettification might not even be awful enough

Disclaimer: non dev related.

So I went to a festival today. What is the most stupid question you can ask at a festival?
And the winner is
And the winner is...

'why are you sweating?'

THE WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?!?
DETAIL ONE: I'M AT A FUCKING FESTIVAL
DETAIL TWO: I'M DANCING MY ASS OFF
DETAIL TWO: EVERYONE IS MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUUUUUCK DANCING.

Mother of god, stupidity knows no fucking boundries 😲

Once upon a time in Devland, there were two best friends @Alice and @Michelle and they worked together at The DevCo company as developers.
After a tough day handling an @-ANGRY-CLIENT-, they thought that they had to go and @RantSomewhere and so they went to a café. At the café, they ranted about some stupid clients, and @theItalianGuy at the third floor of their office building who never picked up calls, and @thatJavaGuy from the second floor who, they thought, was @notarealDev, and the usual stuff about their work. Somewhere in between, @Alice thought it would be @funvengeance to @hack @theNSA; “@karma is coming to get them”, said @Michelle.
To do this, they knew they’d have to take help from none other than @Gandalf who lived in a nearby @cave. So, the next day, taking a leave from work, @Alice and @Michelle embarked on journey to meet @Gandalf. After about an hour’s drive, they reached @Gandalf’s @cave. @Michelle went ahead to knock on @Gandalf’s rusty cave door. Being a lazy @necromancer, he magically opened his door 2 minutes later. “Who is't dares to disturb me in mine own catch but a wink?” shouted a voice from the back; “We’re two developers from DevCo and we need your help in our mission to @hack @theNSA”, shouted @Michelle. After a few seconds, he replied, ”Hmm… N'rmally I wouldst sendeth thee to mine own cousin @Hagrid, but in thy case, I sayeth thee shouldst visiteth the detective who is't goeth by the nameth @S-Holmes”. @Alice replied back, “Thank you, Sir @Gandalf, we’ll get help from this @S-Holmes, I’ve heard that he’s an @exceptionalGuy”; “Mine own pleasure, Farewell!” said @Gandalf, and the door closed shut.
So, @Alice and @Michelle went back to their car, and that time @Alice raised a question, “How are we gonna find this @S-Holmes? We don’t have a phone number or anything so we could contact this guy.”
“We should call @thatJavaGuy from work, I’ve heard he is a man of resources, he must know how to contact @S-Holmes”, said @Michelle.
And it was true, after a call with @thatJavaGuy, they were able to obtain @S-Holmes’s phone number.
“Howdy, this is @S-Holmes, what can I diddily ding dong do you for?”
“Hi, I’m @Alice, I’m from DevCo and I was hoping that I could get your help in our mission.”
“What kind of mission?”, asked @S-Holmes.
“We want to @hack @theNSA.”, replied @Alice.
“Okay… I think I might be able to hel-diddly-elp you! There’s an old and abandoned laberino noodly-near @stacked Street. It was made in @1989 and since then, it houses a magical computeroo that can hel-diddly-elp you in your mission. So, you just have to connect the computeroo to the Internet and you can diddily ding dong do your programmeroo thing and then you'll have access to the the noodly-nsa diddily ding dong database!”, answered @S-Holmes.
S-Holmes continued, “But I shall warn you, there's a riddly-rumorino that the laberino was abandoned because of an @electric-ghost that lurks there, but I bel-diddly-elieve it is just a computeroo program that was diddily ding dong designed to try to @stop hackers from accessing the top secret stuff!".
“Okay, thanks for your help! I bet we can handle whatever this @electric-ghost thing is, so… Goodbye!”, replied @Alice.
“Goodbye!”, said @S-Holmes and that ended their conversation.
Luckily, the @stacked Street was just a couple of miles away from them, so they reached the lab quickly.
As they got close to the lab they saw something that really surprised them…
--------
To be continued in part two...
(Do you want a part two? :/)

My first ever story is a little special because it is kind of dev related at it has "cameos" by various devranters, as you might have noticed.
How many did you count?
More in Part Two.

Thank you for reading and please, any feedback is welcome. Did you like it?
I haven't really revised it once, it is straight out of the keyboard.
Should I drop the "@" ?
But then it would impossible to spot some of the devRanters .
Let me know.

PS
What should be the title?
1)Alice in DevLand?
2)Adventures of Alice and Friends: Hacking the NSA?
You decide..(or maybe I'll pick the second one :D)

Back in my teenage , a friend of mine asked me «Can you make me a software that guesses the result of a football match ?» I said «Sure, but you have to tell me how to calculate the chances of a team»
«Yeah, use the previous performances in the league»
«Ok, but you have to tell me how to calculate the expected result using previous performances» He laughed at me and said «If i knew how to calculate chances of winning/losing, i would not need a software!»
I tried to explain it simply «Computers can execute basic operations like sums or subtractions, and they know how to follow a list of basic instructions to give you a result»
He looked me like «If computers are so stupid like you are telling me now, are we all crazy idiots trying to learn how to use stupid machines??» and stated that i obviously misunderstood the real power of a computer. I walked back home thinking how funny was my friend believing in some kind of magic inside box called pc.

Few years later, i start studying IT at university. In the free time i look for small jobs like website development, small office network setup, pcs repair.
I continue noticing people believing that pcs knows what to do and how to do it.
«You sure I lost my data ? No i didn't do a backup. You sure my pc didn't do a backup ? No i hadn't a backup software»
«Why antivirus asks me what to do with the viruses it found. It should delete them obviously! Change my antivirus, it's too stupid for my pc»
«I want more people finding my business thanks to my website. How I imagine my website ? Yeah it has to be cool and full of cool stuff»

All that boring stories leads to my final question :

is our job dealing with persons who think we are some kind of wizard, well learned about dominating the pc magic ?

Please answer no.Please.

How stackoverflow works(for me):

- First some guru will downvote it & someone comments saying it is duplicate/easy/stupid/should be somewhere else.
- Then a very generous person comes in, says its a valid question, answers & upvotes it.
- After few hours/days, other people come looking for the same question & then they upvote it.

This is called a true happy ending.

Someone on a Facebook group asking how they can make a video auto-play with sound at maximum when a visitor hits the home page.

Me: Here’s how: Log into your site via SSH and cd to the docroot. Type “rm -rf” and hit Enter. Then throw your laptop in the river and go work at McDonald’s. Because if you are stupid enough to ask this question, you are too stupid to be allowed to own a website.

Why do HR people ask stupid questions like the following ones? Everytime I get those questions, I have imaginary answers like the ones right after each question.

Why do you want to work here?

- Obviously, because I need the money to survive. I'm not here because I love working for you and having to endure your stress. I'm not that type of a kinky person.

Are you flexible?

- Why? Do you want to annoy me when I'm sleeping in the middle of the night because of a sudden deadline or because a god damn employee didn't show up?

Do you see yourself as a perfect fit for both developer and tech support roles?

- Read my fucking resume, moron. I applied for a developer role. Nothing else.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

- As if you would care. It's none of your business, but since we are at it. I see myself as your manager in 5 years. Hope that you like that thought.

We didn't bother reading your CV. Would you like to tell us about yourself?

- Nope. Have a nice day and suck my dick. I'm leaving.

Can you give us your phone number and the phone number of your girlfriend?

- I didn't know that I am selling my soul to your company by accepting this job offer. I'm not your slave and you will not call me whenever I'm enjoying my private time.

What's motivating you?

- Money and the peaceful vibe at work when you are shutting the fuck up when I'm fully focused during my projects.

How do you handle stress?

- I dick slap everyone infront of me.

Do you see yourself as a hard worker?

- Nah, I'm not interested in sucking dicks, eating her ass and bending over to get a little bit of a raise.

Week 278: Most rage-inducing work experience — I’ve got a list saved! At least from the current circle of hell. I might post a few more under this tag later…

TicketA: Do this in locations a-e.
TicketB: Do this in locations e-h.
TicketC: Do this in locations i-k.
Root: There’s actually a-x, but okay. They’re all done.
Product: You didn’t address location e in ticket B! We can’t trust you to do your tickets right. Did you even test this?
Root: Did you check TicketA? It’s in TicketA.
Product guy: It was called out in TicketB! How did you miss it?!
Product guy: (Refuses to respond or speak to me, quite literally ever again.)
Product guy to everyone in private: Don’t trust Root. Don’t give her any tickets.
Product manager to boss: Root doesn’t complete her tickets! We can’t trust her. Don’t give her our tickets.
Product manager to TC: We can’t trust Root. Don’t give her our tickets.
TC: Nobody can trust you! Not even the execs! You need to rebuild your reputation.

Root: Asks coworker a simple question.
Root: Asks again.
Root: nudges them.
Root: Asks again.
Coworker: I’ll respond before tomorrow. (And doesn’t.)
Root: Asks again.
Root: Fine. I’ll figure it out in my own.
TC: Stop making it sound like you don’t have any support from the team!

Root: Asks four people about <feature> they all built.
Everyone: idk
Root: Okay, I’ll figure it out on my own.
TC: Stop making it sound like you don’t have any support from the team!

Root: Mentions multiple meetings to discuss ticket with <Person>.
TC: You called <Person> stupid and useless in front of the whole team! Go apologize!

Root: Tells TC something. Asks a simple question.
Root: Tells TC the same thing. Asks again.
TC: (No response for days.)
TC: Tells me the exact same thing publicly like it’s a revelation and I’m stupid for not knowing.
TC: You don’t communicate well!

Root: Asks who the end user of my ticket is.
Root: Asks Boss.
Root: Asks TC.
Root: Fine, I’ll build it for both.
Root: Asks again in PR.
TC: Derides; doesn’t answer.
Root: Asks again, clearly, with explanation.
TC: Copypastes the derision, still doesn’t answer.
Root: Asks boss.
Boss: Doesn’t answer.
Boss: You need to work on your communication skills.

Root: Mentions asking question about blocker to <Person> and not hearing back. Mentions following up later.
<Person>: Gets offended. Refuses to respond for weeks thereafter.

Root: Hey boss, there’s a ticket for a minor prod issue. Is that higher priority than my current ticket?
Root: Hey, should I switch tickets?
Root: Hey?
Root: … Okay, I’ll just keep on my current one.
Boss: You need to work on your priorities.

Everyone: (Endless circlejerking and drama and tattling)

I'm upset. I got banned by StackOverflow because of the questions I've asked recently.

I've worked very hard on my account, getting myself up to 293 points over quite a few months.

And then they just toss me overboard because of the reception of a few questions that I've asked recently.

I deleted the question, re-edited it, and tried so hard to get myself out of the ban. And then I come back and here I am, completely banned. It's so fucking shitty.

What's even the point? I feel that most of the time the community spends more time downvoting instead of upvoting?

How can I even compete? I'm trying to get help, not feel invalidated and smashed by a stupid point system.

I'm just going to go sit in a corner and cry now because clearly, my questions are worth more than the points I've garnered.

GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT
I WILL FUCKIN KICK YOU ON YOUR FUCKING THROAT.

Programming Languages and Linux groups in facebook are a fuckin pain to watch.

Some people make groups so all can benefit and help each other, talk about mutual interests, BUT NO SOME FUCKERS WILL SPAM SHIT AND MAKE YOU WANNA SMACK THEIR FUCKIN HEAD.

THERE IS A FUCKIN FAQ SECTION THAT ANSWERS ALL THE FUCKIN NEWBIE QUESTIONS. WHY THE FUCKIN HELL YOU SPAM IF YOU HAVE NO FUCKIN CLUE WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE DOING?

You come to a python group and ask if it's possible to get context from a site. I'M NOT MENTIONING THE FUCKIN FACT THAT THIS IS A SIMPLY FUCKIN QUERY TO A SEARCH ENGINE ALSO IT'S MENTIONED IN THE FUCKIN FAQ. Let's move on. We tell you yes, there is BeautifulSoup for that. After 5 fuckin mins YOU COME AND MAKE A NEW POST THAT SHOWS YOU CANT FUCKIN ITERATE A GODDAMN FUCKIN LIST. I'm not pro either, i don't forbid you to learn, BUT FUCKIN LEARN THE BASICS THAT ARE PROVIDED TO YOU FROM GREAT FUCKIN RESOURCES BEFORE TRYING TO ATTEMPT SOMETHING MORE COMPLICATED. AND IF YOU NEED HELP PROVIDE CODE THAT WE CAN USE. NOT A FUCKIN PHOTOGRAPH FROM YOUR MOBILE

Let's go on the Linux groups.
SINCE YOU FUCKIN JOIN A LINUX GROUP YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS LINUX. IT'S A FUCKIN OPERATING SYSTEM RIGHT?
Then you spam shit like, UBUNTU OR MINT 5 MINUTES AFTER SOMEONE ELSE MADE THE SAME VERY QUESTION 30 MINS AGO. WHICH WAS ANSWERED AGAIN YESTERDAY.

"What are the benefits of Linux". NONE YOU TWAT, IF YOU NEED ME TO TELL YOU THE BENEFITS OF THE SYSTEM THAT YOU USE THEN WHY THE HELL YOU BOTHER.

Next.
You say you have problems setting up XAMPP. We tell you that since you are on linux better use LAMP. You ignore us and spam your fuckin problem with XAMPP. IM GONNA FIND YOU AND IM GONNA MAKE YOU CHEW MY FUCKIN SHOES YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

I'm not even mentioning the kali wannabe hackers.

Conclusion:
DO A FUCKIN SMALL RESEARCH BEFORE SPAMMING THE SHIT OUT OF STUPID FUCKIN QUESTIONS. AND IF YOU CANT EVEN SEARCH, LEARN TO ASK IN ENGLISH THAT IS FUCKIN UNDERSTANDABLE SO SOMEONE CAN GUIDE YOU ABOUT WHAT YOU SHOULD SEARCH

OH FUCKIN GAWD IM GONNA THROW MY LAPTOP OUT OF THE WINDOW

My Interview question was simple, just :
Create an algorithm using **JAVA** accepting row input which output corresponding diagram :

1.
*
**
***
****

2.
*
**
***
****

3.
54321
4321
321
21
1

I said, well this going to be easy. Turns out they give me one sheet of FUCKING PAPER. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? THIS IS JAVA NOT A FUCKING PYTHON.

But in the end i complete the test except i don't write the :

public stupid static motherfucking main(String[] dick){}

in every single number. Got Zero in the test. Didn't get the job.

I win.

Lord forgive me for laughing too hard at this person/situation... I kid you NOT!

So today while everything was going well, we suddenly had network issues at work. We worked to get everything back up online asap and then sent out an email for those affected to either restart their machines or refresh their desktops but we recommend restarting... After some few client calls, this special call came in..

Riiing, riiiiiing, ring....
Me: hi, how can help you?

Client: *laughing.. This is probably a stupid question but I forgot how to "refresh" my desk top..the thing is, I have Febreeze but I don't think that's for desk tops.

Me: Wait, what? 🤔 Febreeze for what?😕

Client: You guys sent an email to refresh our desk tops and I said I have Febreeze so how will that get my things in the computer back to show again?

Me: Ohhh, no no. We meant your computer desktop. You don't need Febreeze. Right click anywhere on your computer in the screen and select refresh from the pop up menu. We meant your computer "desktop" not your actual "desk top".

Client: *starts laughing...I told you it was a stupid question

Me: don't worry.. It wasn't stupid.

After I hang up, some of my team members asked me why someone is asking about Febreeze...I told them and they all started laughing hysterically

I was still trying to digest the conversation I had just have on the phone. 😂😂😂

I built a feature. I asked questions for days. Nobody helped. I built it anyway, and while I'm not sure it's quite right, it works.

During a code review, I asked for clarification on who the fuck it's for. Simple fucking question. Didn't get an answer. I did get the same crap response twice, though. It's great because it both doesn't answer my question and makes things worse.

Let's refer to this as "branding." Here we go!

------

Root: "Should this be changed to blue? I'm not sure who the end-user is."

TC: "should be purple, then call it something more convenient" (...what?)

Root: "Better phrasing: if we use the feature, it should match our colors and be blue. If customers use it, it should match their colors and be red. It shouldn't be both. I looked through everything again, and i'm convinced that it's only for us, so it should be blue so it matches everything."

TC: "this should be purple, and then call it something [sic] red" (...what!? also: lolcopypaste)

------

But like, that's wrong in every single way. It's internal, not external. Doing both makes it confusing. Doing both and calling it external is fucking stupid. Did she even read the PR? or any of my questions? ugh.

I swear, it's like arguing with a boulder and expecting it to listen. An ugly, oversized boulder that comically resembles Jabba the Hutt. No joke.

Whatever, it can be purple. Later, if someone complains that it's confusing, I'll just link them to the damned PR. Then again, almost everything here is confusing AF, so I doubt anyone will actually notice.

Screw this place. So glad I'm on my way out.

Stack Overflow. Everyone uses it but everyone seems to hate the community. I very often read about someone getting down voted and they all say the same thing - "I have no idea why".

I have spent a lot of time moderating SO posts, which gave me a lot of reputation and medals. I find it fun to help people and it feels good to give back to the community.

I have asked a bunch of questions and I've never gotten a single down vote, which leads me to believe everyone of you that is constantly getting down voted are doing something wrong. Because the posts I see getting down voted are fucking stupid questions that either lack information or contain too much information.

Example 1:
Server java error

Why is my server not working? I am using Tomcat, port 8080 and I'm getting IOException.

Example 2:
Webpack configuration not working

My webpack is not a working, why?
[entire webpack config]

End examples.

What the fuck are you expecting asking questions like these?? No one gets paid for answering your questions, so the least you can do is write a CLEAR AND UNDERSTANDABLE question. I'm not gonna tell you how to do it because there's A LOT of information on how to do it.

People devote hours and hours to helping others on SO, and of course they get fed up with the stupid and lazy questions. That community is not about being nice, it's not about making people feel welcomed, it's about QUALITY OF CONTENT. No one is crying when they find a superb question + answer, right? That's the result of a community not accepting low quality content.

So please, the next time you get a down vote on SO - do not come here whining about it but instead take a look at what you have posted there and ask yourself if it could have held a higher quality.

Thanks!

You know what? Fuck it. Git CLI. Hot take.

Question is "least favorite". Not "worst". Not "least important".

Git is great, essential, fantastic, whatever. But I hate interacting with the CLI. I can never remember the stupid fucking commands, I always mess shit up if I need to do something outside of my normal workflow, and honestly, usually the correct way of doing shit looks fucked.

So fuck git CLI and its learning curve

I am DONE with this woman CONTINUED!

I didn't think I'd have to put another rant about this stupidity at least not this soon but she just keeps on giving!

I have my noise canceling headphones on most of the time and when I want to hear the people around, I just put the right earcup of it to the side of my ear so the music pauses. Today we had a huge disrupt on our services because of a network switch error on the hub. I was also trying to focus on my coding as I didn't wanna do a stupid mistake on the last working day and be sorry about it in the next week.

So this woman sneaks up on me from behind calling my name - meaning she has a question, surprise! -, I say 'yes' moving my head to her side ever so slightly without getting my eyes off of my screen stating subtly that I'm also listening to her while trying to focus on my shit. She starts yelling at me 'look at me!' out of nowhere! I turn my head and ask what the problem is and she asks why I'm not looking at her face! Stupid moron, I might not be too good in understanding your way of communication but you are the one asking so you WILL wait if you'd like to hear answers.

I say I'm working on something and her answer is again 'Why aren't you looking at my face it's going to be quick bla bla did we do this like that?' and I answered I didn't remember because there's no way I'd ever remember without looking further and it was no lie.

This woman clearly has stability issues and everyone else seem to be tolerating it. It's now obvious as I'm not tolerating the nonsense I'll be the one that 'she only has ever had a problem with'.

I was quick to de escalate the situation but now I'm thinking maybe I should've responded in a way that she could understand. I wouldn't ever give a shit about it but this is getting ridiculous.

When someone asks me a stupid question,
I always answer:
You have the Knowledge of the Entire world and human race in your pocket,
FUCKING USE IT! DONT ASK ME! GOOGLE IT! BING IT! WHATEVER! JUST DONT ASK ME!

I'm fixing a security exploit, and it's a goddamn mountain of fuckups.

First, some idiot (read: the legendary dev himself) decided to use a gem to do some basic fucking searching instead of writing a simple fucking query.

Second, security ... didn't just drop the ball, they shit on it and flushed it down the toilet. The gem in question allows users to search by FUCKING EVERYTHING on EVERY FUCKING TABLE IN THE DB using really nice tools, actually, that let you do fancy things like traverse all the internal associations to find the users table, then list all users whose password reset hashes begin with "a" then "ab" then "abc" ... Want to steal an account? Hell, want to automate stealing all accounts? Only takes a few hundred requests apiece! Oooh, there's CC data, too, and its encryption keys!

Third, the gem does actually allow whitelisting associations, methods, etc. but ... well, the documentation actually recommends against it for whatever fucking reason, and that whitelisting is about as fine-grained as a club. You wanna restrict it to accessing the "name" column, but it needs to access both the "site" and "user" tables? Cool, users can now access site.name AND user.name... which is PII and totally leads to hefty fines. Thanks!

Fourth. If the gem can't access something thanks to the whitelist, it doesn't catch the exception and give you a useful error message or anything, no way. It just throws NoMethodErrors because fuck you. Good luck figuring out what they mean, especially if you have no idea you're even using the fucking thing.

Fifth. Thanks to the follower mentality prevalent in this hellhole, this shit is now used in a lot of places (and all indirectly!) so there's no searching for uses. Once I banhammer everything... well, loads of shit is going to break, and I won't have a fucking clue where because very few of these brainless sheep write decent test coverage (or even fucking write view tests), so I'll be doing tons of manual fucking testing. Oh, and I only have a week to finish everything, because fucking of course.

So, in summary. The stupid and lazy (and legendary!) dev fucked up. The stupid gem's author fucked up, and kept fucking up. The stupid devs followed the first fuckup's lead and repeated his fuck up, and fucked up on their own some more. It's fuckups all the fucking way down.

Once on my old job I had several ssh sessions and I was running some tests where I frequently restarted the application... Until I entered the restart command in the terminal of the production system and shutdown the whole application. - Still gives me the creeps today, was just lucky the customer was in a break and we could remotely restart it, so probably nobody even noticed.

Now today I run a "rm -rf *" on a folder that is supposed to be local, but after some time I get suspicious because it is taking too long.. Only to discover that the mount point of the remote resource points to my "local copy". Shit.

What is next? The "delete from ...;" without where clause? Fuck, aren't you supposed to get more experienced and cautious?

So I had a fun week.

It started off with my boss replying to a co-workers email where he sent his new bank account, saying he doesn't need it untill we close off some baddly planned projects, meaning no paycheck.

Needless to say we were working night and days including weekends on it and put our best into it.

For the next part I need to explain a little background. We have this old legacy system I'm working with for the past 3 years. I keet raising the red flag we need a new one. Nothing happened. So every time I worked with it I kept thinking how to improve the parts. Almost two years went into thinking and planning the new system untill I got a green light. It was most satisfying - the day I got to build something good and awesome. I drew all the data structures, laid out the foundations and started building ontop of it. It was amazing and I was really proud of it. Then suddendly client wanted to see something and the decision was made we threw it together quickly with the old legacy system. It was on hold 'till then due to work overload.

Boss wrote me this week if I can put the project from git on a server, where he out sourced the completition into India where they will finish it. On thr question if they can't work on git, he replied: "should they?" -.-

To top it all up, I got a notice at the end of the week if I don't fill his shit time tracking system (that takes me one hour/day to insert all entries) by monday he'll deduct a sizable portion of my paycheck.

I AM WORKING FOR YOU ALL THE FUCKING TIME BECAUSE YOU LACK RESOURCES AND I THOUGHT A TEAM STICKS TOGETHER AND SAVES EACH OTHERS ASS! I DONT HAVE TIME TO ENTER YOUR FUCKING STUPID TIME ENTRIES IN YOUR FUCKING BUGGED SYSTEM EACH DAY ON TASKS THAT DON'T EVEN EXIST BITCH! MAKE IT BETTER FIRST!! OH! AND NO ONE IS MORE QUALIFIED TO FINISH THAT PROJECT THAN ME, I POURED MY FUCKING HEART INTO IT YOU PRICK!

woah.

Questions about code has reduced greatly after I got a new laptop.

So, I'm using a new MacBook Air (running Sierra), and while I'm still getting used to it (especially the different Sublime hotkeys), overall it really is quite wonderful. I particularly love the magic touchpad and ease of scrolling/swiping between desktops.

However, I ran into an issue this morning that gave me pause: apparent file caching.

My webpack setup auto-compiles my project when files change, and I noticed something was causing errors -- not really surprising since I was in the middle of fixing the project last night. However, the error it displayed wasn't something I was expecting, and referenced a line I was positive I had removed several hours before calling it a night. Whatever, I was probably mistaken, so I went to remove it.

... It wasn't there.

I double checked that I was looking at the right file. Yep, src/styles/header.scss -- that's the correct file. Figuring webpack was acting up, I killed and restarted it.

Same error.

So whatever, maybe Sublime cached it. Rather unexpected, but possible, and I am on a mac now... so maybe. So, I closed the file and reopened it. The line wasn't there. I did this twice more. It STILL wasn't there. Maybe I'm going crazy...? I checked the file with cat. The line was there. I checked with vim. The line was still there.

OKAY. I've seen a lot of people with beef with Sublime, and I often defended it. but maybe they're actually right. maybe Sublime really isn't the way to go. :( So, I killed and reopened Sublime, and I checked the file again.

The line STILL ISN'T THERE.

Maybe I'm going crazy? I double, triple, quadruple checked the path. all correct.
Alright; let's try again and make sure I do it properly. I closed everything I had open in sublime (two projects), and quit. I reopened Sublime, navigated to the correct path, and reopened the file...

The offending line STILL wasn't there.

I'm angry at this point and just mash the keyboard. I save the resulting garbage, and cat the file again. No visible changes.

KAJSFLK STUPID PIECE OF <redacted>

okay, whatever. Reboots fix everything, right? So I reboot, and keep the option to re-open everything again ticked.

The terminal comes back up, along with half(?) my browsers, but Sublime doesn't. grrrrrrr.

so I cat the damn thing.

GUESS WHAT.
THE GARBAGE IS THERE.

Sublime was doing its job. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE FAILED.

(Oh Sublime, why did I ever question you? 💚)

... but seriously, what the fuck could have caused that? Was the OS caching the file for some programs, but not others? Now I'm questioning the macbook...

I like paradoxes, I created one with multiple choice questions.

"Some stupid question" ?

A) answer 1
B) answer 2
C) None of the above
D) All of the above (paradox)

#killingtime

1. Bullshit coding challenges that you wouldn't be any good at unless you were doing the same stuff like yesterday. For an entry level job.

2. Stupid tech leads, who can't see people smarter than them so they bring you down in an interview to feel better about themselves. They'll ask you stuff they know is outside of your scope. Mine often ends up being about networking.

3. Stupid HR questions, that basically ask you to ass-kiss the company.

4. When you're actually better than the interviewer at just about anything, including maths, so you have to tiptoe around their ego and not call them out on being slow.

5. When they don't even give you a chance. You enter the interview and by question 3 you know they're gonna reject you and you never had a chance to begin with, so internally you start screaming for the money you spent on the new coat to impress these fuckers.

6. Salary negotiation when you're broke and you'll work for anything that covers your bills and food, basically.

7. Explaining the gaps in resume or radical changes. Like why I was a barista for six months after six months of being out of work.

Asked a question on SO, realized the answer before getting any help, came back to the question just to see it was down-voted to oblivion because indeed it was very stupid.

At lunch, someone asked a question about our Sunday Hack-a-thon. Our PO said it was a "Smack-a-thon." I told her, "No, don't make stupid names. Let's call things what they are. It's Management Failure Sunday." Manager was sitting across the table when I said it.

Using a copyrighted image on a website not knowing it was copyrighted. That was stupid and humbling. So caught up in the roots lost sight of the leaves.

Lesson learned: Assume nothing, question everything.

Oh my God. New pet peeve:

People who answer questions on Amazon with an answer like "idk I just got this :(" or "idk man I bought it as a present."

Why the fuck do you feel the urge to answer a fucking question without actually answering it? Like are you that fucking stupid? Jesus Christ.

Whenever I ask google a stupid question, I do it from a shell so people still think I'm smart.

I used to work for a Mexican bank in Mexico, as a developer I opened (and use) an account, since the bank was not famous(most of its business was with the government), going to the bank and see no waiting lines was an advantage, so I started using it as my only bank account even nowadays.

Now I live in NYC, and some years later I see on the news the bank merged(was absorbed) with another bank, 'sounds good, I don't care' I thought.

Well, I open my online account and the nightmare begins:

1) Redirection to the 2nd bank page
2) My credentials does not work
3) Call the original bank(no answers)
4) After several calls and days I got a phone contact
5) 'well, try all other passwords you have' (transaction passwords, operative passwords, login passwords, etc), among many other stupid answers, which by the way, were preceded by infinite question about the 2nd bank, like:

- when did you open the account with the 2nd bank?
- what is your 2nd bank account number

6) after 20 calls like that, they asked for documents, information and screenshots, and send all that to the 2nd bank tech help email.

7) After several days a person responded: 'Go to your bank(which fucking bank?)' and ask for a new user.

8) a ton of calls to know what bank I was assigned

9) called the bank: 'well, you have to come in person(no exceptions allowed) and request to close your 1st bank account and open a 2nd bank account' (I am not sure if that is gonna work)

All the technology nowadays and still I have to travel thousands of miles hoping this 'solution' works.

to be continue....

More of a question than a rant. What to do regarding programming.

I'm self taught, php, c, c#, and I make stupid little programs that make my life easier as a sys admin.

I want to ask, how do I take things further? Where I'm from, it's really hard to get a job as a programmer without 5 years experience and knowledge in 5 other languages.

Do I try and make bigger apps to showcase myself and hope someone finds me, or what do I do in this instance. I'm not a fully fledged coder, but I'm comfortable and if I don't know something i learn it pretty quickly.

Is there a way that you get a job, even as a junior? Or is it pure luck?

I keep wondering if there’s a case of someone stealing another’s rant. And what the other person would say to the thief.

“You stole my rant” or “That was suppose to be my rant” or something along that line.

😅

Things like this make me feel good about myself. Update: moments after taking this picture, he took it down. Have any of you ever asked a stupid question like that? And, well, how did you know you when you got "good" at programming?

I’m trying to add digit separators to a few amount fields. There’s actually three tickets to do this in various places, and I’m working on the last of them.

I had a nightmare debugging session earlier where literally everything would 404 unless I navigated through the site in a very roundabout way. I never did figure out the cause, but I found a viable workaround. Basically: the house doesn’t exist if you use the front door, but it’s fine if you go through the garden gate, around the back, and crawl in through the side window. After hours of debugging I eventually discovered that if I unlocked the front door with a different key, everything was fine… but nobody else has this problem?

Whatever.
Onto the problem at hand!

I’m trying to add digit separators to some values. I found a way to navigate to the page in question (more difficult than it sounds), and … I don’t know what view is rendering the page. Or what controller. Or how it generates its text.

The URL is encrypted, so I get no clues there. (Which was lead dev’s solution to having scrapeable IDs instead of just, you know, fixing them). The encryption also happens in middleware, so it’s a nightmare to work through. And it’s by the lead dev, so the code is fucking atrocious.

The view… could be one of many, and I don’t even know where they are. Or what layout. Or what partials go into building it.

All of the text on the page are “resources” — think named translations that support plus nested macros. I don’t know their names, and the bits of text I can search for are used fucking everywhere. “Confirmation number” (the most unique of them) turns up 79 matches. “Fee” showed up in 8310 places before my editor gave up looking. Really.

The table displaying the data, which is what I actually care about, isn’t built in JS or markup, but is likely a resource that goes through heavy processing. It gets generated in a controller somewhere (I don’t know the resource name so I can’t find it), and passed through several layers of “dynamic form” abstraction, eventually turned into markup, and rendered as a partial template. At least, that’s how it worked in the previous ticket. I found a resource that looks right, and there’s only the one. I found the nested macros it uses for the amount and total, and added the separators there… only to find that it doesn’t work.

Fucking dead end.

And i have absolutely nothing else to go on.

Page title? “Show”
URL? /~LiolV8N8KrIgaozEgLv93s…
Text? All from macros with unknown names. Can’t really search for it without considerable effort.
Table? Doesn’t work.
Text in the table? doesn’t turn up anything new.
Legal agreement? There are multiple, used in many places, generates them dynamically via (of course) resources, and even looking through the method usages, doesn’t narrow it down very much.

Just.
What the fuck?
Why does this need to be so fucking complicated?

And what genius decided “$100000.00” doesn’t need separators? Right, the lot of them because separators aren’t used ANYWHERE but in code I authored. Like, really? This is fintech. You’d think they would be ubiquitous.

And the sheer amount of abstraction?
Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid.

So I went with a friend to a printing company today and asked this gem: "so , will you print the white too?"

Before he answered I realized my momentary retardness and said: "wtf, what a stupid question."

I think I need some rest 😂😂

So I know most of you got some kind of hate for Facebook and Zuckerberg (aka Z U C C) now, but ffs, watching some of the highlights of this congress-thing that went on makes me more or less feel sympathy for him and his idea, even tho I know he wants to achieve exactly this.

Some of the questions asked can suck a big fucken data-dick. "How many Facebook Like-Buttons are there on Non-Facebook pages?", "How many data-categories do you gather?", "How do you sustain a business model and stay free?" - DUDE WHAT IN HEAVENS NAME?? And they ask that shit so serious and so "now-i'm-going-to-bust-you"-esk, but actually the question is just plain stupid and shows how the questioning side has no clue about the shit.

My point of view is that people decided to have an online life and have to take what it does. Having a smartphone with a Facebook service installed (owning an account or not) is enough to track your location, stored under your IMEI or some shit like that. They may not even go that far but that's just my opinion.
If you are online everything can see you and use you that way. Borders are a fictious thing. A dude in Czechia can easily shoot you when you're on the German side of the border between those two countries. And still we gave up on walls...:p

Welcome to a world which is ruled by dumbass people where nerds who just want to have some fun need to defend themselves because the people up there don't know a single shit.

xroad's rule for downvoting:

If you just reposted something in the span of a few hours or less I will downvote it.

If your rant starts with "there are 10 kinds of people in the world" my thumb will hit the -- button faster than an intern will ask a stupid question.

Can someone tell me how "Marked As Duplicate is even FUCKING HELPFUL?

Stack Overflow and their stupid policies can go fuck themselves. Is the world really going to end if someone writes a question that's been asked before? Especially when you link to a goddamn question that still doesn't answer what I asked?

And then have the gall to say "exact duplicate?"

EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A DIFFERENT QUESTION?

In the 1990s code editors on the Mac could insert the omitted function prototypes into a header file with one command; and even automatically keep the header declaration updated when you changed the source definition (name, parameters, etc)

Today in Xcode you have to copy and paste the stupid function header definition from the source code into the header file. What happens if you leave the "{" that got copied accidentally? OMFUCKING LORD, it triggers all sorts of erroneous errors in all the **source code** files where it is included instead of the header with the stray "{"

I started to question whether nor not I knew C, if gravity worked, if the sun would come up. I wasted a day of dicking around in StackOverflow trying to chase down all these insane error messages which make no sense in Xcode.

I just **happened** to see at the bottom of one of the source files, after all the erroneous error, a very important error:

"};" Expected

So I started deleting code from the bottom up in this source file, same error every time. Got to the point where the includes were all that was left.

FUCK YOU XCODE and the hacks that designed that horrendous piece of shit

Xcode is only free if your time is worth absolutely nothing.

Extremely stupid question but what exactly is devops

A recruiter asks: "Why are you looking to leave your company ?"
If you tell them you want to grow, they think you have a hidden political agenda.
If you tell them that your boss is unfair, they will think you have problems with authority.
If you tell them that you are not satisfied with the current salary, they will think you are greedy.
If you tell them that you do not get along with someone, they will think you are hard to work with.
If you say you want to be closer to home to spend time with your family, they will think you are lazy.
If you tell them that you are looking for bigger challenges, they will think you are not honest.
If you tell them that you want to acquire new skills, they will think you will quit them when you are done acquiring.
If you tell them they are the ones who initiated the contact with you, and got you interested, they will think you are a
smart-ass.
The truth is - all the reasons above are valid, and those are the real reasons why good people quit.
Which makes this question stupid - makes people uncomfortable..

This poor fella is asking a simple question we've all asked it before.. It makes me angry to see that some beginners get discouraged thanks to the toxic community at stackoverflow, many of the idiots on stackoverflow forget that they were once beginners and didn't know a thing.. Even if the question sounds stupid for you, why can't you just help them, instead of being an ignorant smartass.. 😠

At one of my former jobs, we devs had to do all sorts of non-dev work, such as writing quotes and even contracts!

The CEO of that company had this naughty habit to contact devs directly without delegating through the CIO. Sure, if it's really urgent like when some system is down because of a bug, go ahead and disturb a dev. But interrupting coders to write some freaking quote? Come on!...

Once, that CEO asked me to stop everything I was doing to write a quote to a customer ASAP, as this was really urgent.

I spent several hours writing that quote. It had to be done right as any specifications in our quotes were used in our agreeements and were referred to in the case of any dispute. So not only were we devs and salesmen in the same time; we also needed to be lawyers.

When I was done and delivered the quote to the CEO, he told me he had no intention to take on that customer in the first place. Instead, he wrote a polite we-are-not-interested e-mail to the customer and cc:d it to me just so that I could read for myself how very sleek a businessman he was.

Me: why did I have to write that quote when you knew all along that you were not going to use it anyway?
Him: It's for your own personal development.

Another naughty habit of that same CEO is that he made "jokes" and remarks that I found inappropriate, such as "You walk like a drunken sailor".

Later, he decided to discontinue our team/product because "it isn't proftable". Well, what do you expect when devs are forced to waste half day completing pointless tasks?!

It was for the better anyway, and I was actually relieved when I left the company. I'm still thinking though, that the real reason he sacked me is that I am too honest and not the docile kind of employee that would be ideal for him. I did question some of my tasks, and worst of all: I didn't laugh at his stupid jokes.

Stop asking which Linux distro is best. Seriously there is no "best" one. Arch is best FOR ME. Debian or Fedora might be your cup of tea. But I have great news for you, they are all FREE and there is free virtualization software you can try them on. Stop asking a stupid question that only gets opinionated answers and flame wars and go try them for yourself.

Also, while I'm on the topic. Ubuntu, Ubuntu Mate, Ubuntu XFCE etc. are all the same distro, they just have a different DE (desktop environment for you noobs). It's like on Monday I wear a suit but Tuesday I wear shorts and a tee shirt, it's still me, I'm just dressed differently.

Does anyone want to take this stupid exam for me? I keep missing it on practice exams by 1 question. I'm sad. I know if i gave a damn about this material, i could do it. But i don't give a damn. It's required for my current position but I'm about to switch teams in a few months and will no longer need it.

After a few weeks of being insanely busy, I decided to log onto Steam and maybe relax with a few people and play some games. I enjoy playing a few sandbox games and do freelance development for those games (Anywhere from a simple script to a full on server setup) on the side. It just so happened that I had an 'urgent' request from one of my old staff member from an old community I use to own. This staff member decided to run his own community after I sold mine off since I didn't have the passion anymore to deal with the community on a daily basis.

O: Owner (Former staff member/friend)
D: Other Dev

O: Hey, I need urgent help man! Got a few things developed for my server, and now the server won't stay stable and crashes randomly. I really need help, my developer can't figure it out.
Me: Uhm, sure. Just remember, if it's small I'll do it for free since you're an old friend, but if it's a bigger issue or needs a full recode or whatever, you're gonna have to pay. Another option is, I tell you what's wrong and you can have your developer fix it.
O: Sounds good, I'll give you owner access to everything so you can check it out.
Me: Sounds good

*An hour passes by*

O: Sorry it took so long, had to deal with some crap. *Insert credentials, etc*
Me: Ok, give me a few minutes to do some basic tests. What was that new feature or whatever you added?
O: *Explains long feature, and where it's located*
Me: *Begins to review the files* *Internal rage wondering what fucking developer could code such trash* *Tests a few methods, and watches CPU/RAM and an internal graph for usage*
Me: Who coded this module?
O: My developer.
Me: *Calm tone, with a mix of some anger* So, you know what, I'm just gonna do some simple math for ya. You're running 33 ticks a second for the server, with an average of about 40ish players. 33x60 = 1980 cycles a minute, now lets times that by the 40 players on average, you have 79,200 cycles per minute or nearly 4.8 fucking cycles an hour (If you maxed the server at 64 players, it's going to run an amazing fucking 7.6 million cycles an hour, like holy fuck). You're also running a MySQLite query every cycle while transferring useless data to the server, you're clusterfucking the server and overloading it for no fucking reason and that's why you're crashing it. Another question, who the fuck wrote the security of this? I can literally send commands to the server with this insecure method and delete all of your files... If you actually want your fucking server stable and secure, I'm gonna have to recode this entire module to reduce your developer's clusterfuck of 4.8 million cycles to about 400 every hour... it's gonna be $50.
D: *Angered* You're wrong, this is the best way to do it, I did stress testing! *Insert other defensive comments* You're just a shitty developer (This one got me)
Me: *Calm* You're calling me a shitty developer? You're the person that doesn't understand a timer, I get that you're new to this world, but reading the wiki or even using the game's forums would've ripped this code to shreds and you to shreds. You're not even a developer, cause most of this is so disorganized it looks like you copy and pasted it. *Get's angered here and starts some light screaming* You're wasting CPU usage, the game can't use more than 1 physical core, and after a quick test, you're stupid 'amazing' module is using about 40% of the CPU. You need to fucking realize the 40ish average players, use less than this... THEY SHOULD BE MORE INTENSIVE THAN YOUR CODE, NOT THE OPPOSITE.
O: Hey don't be rude to Venom, he's an amazing coder. You're still new, you don't know as much as him. Ok, I'll pay you the money to get it recoded.
Me: Sounds good. *Angered tone* Also you developer boy, learn to listen to feedback and maybe learn to improve your shitty code. Cause you'll never go anywhere if you don't even understand who bad this garbage is, and that you can't even use the fucking wiki for this game. The only fucking way you're gonna improve is to use some of my suggestions.
D: *Leaves call without saying anything*

TL;DR: Shitty developer ran some shitty XP system code for a game nearly 4.8 million times an hour (average) or just above 7.6 million times an hour (if maxed), plus running MySQLite when it could've been done within about like 400 an hour at max. Tried calling me a shitty developer, and got sorta yelled at while I was trying to keep calm.

Still pissed he tried calling me a shitty developer...

Everyone talks about crappy categories of user on Stackoverflow - help vampires, rep whores, etc. - but the category of "people who don't care about the stupid mind games, politics or internet points and just want to help others" is so small people apparently don't even think it can exist.

I mean sheesh, I answer on there in my free time to just lend a hand to people, usually in a couple of niche tags that have very little info elsewhere, even for beginners. Of course there's questions that are beyond salvaging and just random homework dumps, but the majority are from genuinely confused users who simply don't know the correct terms to search for.

A question is not inherently evil just because its asker has misunderstood a key concept.

I'm not even asking you to help the poor sods, I'm just asking you to allow me to help without calling me a rep whore or a moron who'd be better talking to bots on reddit 🙄

What is the most stupid/weird question you've ever been asked about your job?

I use a library and it gives me some strange error message. No problemo, just file an issue on GitHub asking the maintainer if I'm plain stupid or the lib actually has a flaw. As it was a question, I have not posted a dump and all the shit.
Maintainer responds with a snarky comment about his crystal ball being broken and I have to submit a log, a dump, debug information and a bunch of other stuff.
Well, what choice do I have, I collect all the requested information, create a wall of text comment, all nicely formatted.
And the issue ends here. Myths say, the maintainer got asked to join Elvis on Mars.

I mean, why do you ask all the shit from me in a unprofessional manner just to stop answering? Just say "I have no clue why it behaves like this" and I know whats playin. But that's just ... sad.

Our new IT support college (I've been the support for like almost 2 years into the company and then I moved onto another project) asked me about how to configure a printer over LAN. I explained him the whole procedure and after he asked me what does the gateway IP means, I explained him that it's a router, switch or another device that know how to forward packets on to other networks and gave him an example like 192.168.100.1 and told him that usually is the router's/switch IP address and is the same IP address as the static IP of the printer but with .1 at the end instead of the last number set. After that he asked me: "Like this? 192.168.100.25.1?"

TL;DR Pluralsight should be ashamed for taking 299 USD a year and writing some very low-quality quizzes.

I've always heard that Pluralsight is a great platform having some high quality courses, so I chose it as a benefit, as our company was giving us some budget for learning purposes. I've paid (or rather the company did it in the end) 299 USD for this year, which, I guess is not much for US standards, but it is a lot for Eastern European standards.

I didn't actually get to the point of watching any of the courses, but I started to use a feature called "Stack up", which is a long series of questions in a specific theme, like Java, Kotlin, C++, etc., accessible once a day. I must say, I'm amazed by the fact, that people pay quite a great amount of money and they get something so poorly made with a lot of errors and stupid questions.

Take the question from the included image for example. Not only that the 2 possible answers are repeated (and thus I failed to select the correct one from 2 equal answers), but the supposedly correct answer is also missing some type specifications. No Java compiler will compile it this way as far as I know. There would be at least 3 ways to fix it.

Then there is today's gem (should be included as first comment) as well, where the answer is wrong in both Chrome 96, Firefox 95 and Node v10. Heck, THIS IS one of the reasons why you should never use `var` in your JavaScript code, but always `let` and `const`!

So the courses on Pluralsight might be good, but I would be ashamed, if I were to release something like this. People might actually try to solidify their knowledge by solving these quizzes but instead of learning something useful, they will be left with some bullshit. I just don't get how could they release a feature with so much incorrect information and I am kind of disappointed, even if I didn't try the courses yet.

Blabbering co-worker rant.

So this bonker who speaks non-stop for 15 minutes without even a breather break is more annoying than I thought.

1. She used to work for a project A and then they moved her to my project. She kept cribbing she wants to continue working on A because that's where her expertise are. So management hired a new team member so she can continue on A and new member can work with me.

Now next week, the new member is joining us. As we prepare the onboarding plan, bonker comes crying that she wants to work on my project and NOT on Project A. She is forcing us to give Project A to new team member.

Manager upfront rejected her proposal and told her that she'd be working on A.

2. She literally gives orders. Her tone is rude and blunt. The other day ordered me to review her presentation and kept following up even when I said I was busy. Same tone and attitude with manager.

Then she complained about my behaviour saying I was a bossy person even when I used the most polite tone (because I have actively worked on and built my social skills).

3. Knows shit about the product, has no skill set, asks the same question 10 times, and isn't able to deliver bare minimum.

And then evidently everyone follows up with me because I am on top of everything (because I have to as bonker can't function).

4. She lied to me that company gives good hikes and easy promotions.

She was kicked out of her previous project because of her incompetency.

Fortunately or unfortunately, my manager saved her ass. But she literally is the most stupid person I have worked with me in my entire career.

5. She has no communication skills, something that is highest valued skill in my profession. And when I do my normal, it pisses her off. She keeps complaining that I am overstepping.

If I don't then product will just fall apart and everyone might get fired because of no work.

And that is causing her insecurities and she starts fear mongering about both of us being fired.

I told our manager upfront that I want to lead the product and she was more than happy about the proposal. What sucks is that my manager is leaving this month end and I'll have to build trust with my new line manager.

Ugh!! She is annoying..

Circa spring of last year, Computer Science 1

The guy sitting next to me asked me a clarifying question about what our professor was mumbling and scribbling illegibly on the board.
I start to respond, only for the professor to YELL at me in front of the class for helping him, saying that programming was a personal affair and that I should be minding myself.
He even yelled at me for helping someone that is "too stupid help themselves" and that I shouldn't worry if the person next to me doesn't get it.
I felt bad, the kid next to me felt bad, and I avoided a semester of computer science just to not have him again.

I get angry every fucking time when I see such method signature:

method(int, int, int, string, string, string, string)

Sounds scary, doesn't it?

Nah. That's the reason our IDEs are so complex. So, I change this and put proper data value/struct class instead, just to make this much readable and understandable for everyone.

And, every time there is a fella that asks this utterly stupid question:

What about performance impact?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa fuckyutitititiigig

And. I. Have. To. Run. Performance. Tests.

Because noone understands performance and computers so I have to prove there is nothing to worry about.

I know when I will go somewhere else I will have to again prove some fuckwit that web applications are so complex already, so adding a new data structure doesn't impact its performance.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

As a freelancer I get side requests from bigger development companies from time to time that don't have the time or capacity to deal with it themselves.

So usually the employees are pretty friendly but they do not like to read any of the documentation I send with the code. They call me up with stupid questions that are usually answered in the documentation.

I had sent them everything they had requested last Thursday so they called me on Friday to ask the usual stupid question. However, this time I had beforehand decided to have some fun! I told them I had to leave for the weekend and to call me back on Monday. Of course they called me during the weekend, but I didn't answer. So they called me today.

What I had done before handing it all in was I had named the methods that I wrote illogically, while stating and explaining the whole situation in the documentation extra clearly.

So I answered the call today and the first thing they did was apologize. Since I didn't answer their calls during the weekend they finally realized that the best way to go is reading the documentation instead of calling me all the time. They were freaked out at first because they thought there was something completely wrong with the code and they had to tell their client that the deadline had to be pushed back.

We are all good now :)

While coding in C, I once forgot to add a semicolon at the end of a while loop polling a register value.
The logic required me to make it zero as soon as it read non-zero and continue the rest of the process. Hence the 'while' that missed the semicolon ended up being a single instruction assignment to the same volatile register that I kept polling. This caused synchronisation issue with the FPGA, and my code got stuck in an uncertain infinite loop.
Took me 2 days and a silly, yet valid question from my teammate to figure out the cause of this stupid bug.

Not quite a interview question, but in a competition (I had build a compiler) the jury (they all told me they had all studied informatics) asked me what a compiler is... Not in a "lets try to catch him off manner" but rather in a "i am too stupid for this world manner" he asked me what a compiler was... And it got even worse: my compiler is based on linuxes utils (nasm+ld) the guy didnt know about linux. Assembler was much too much for him and when my compiler threw an error (I wanted to show them the error system) he told me I shouldnt present unfinished projects... Atleastthe other two were really nice and i still got 2nd place (behind a person who prorammed an Nxt thingy)

It might be a stupid question, but:
Do the full-stack devs of you actually have that function in the job contract or does it just say "(junior/senior) software developer"?

Mine says just "Software Developer" and in my opinion it sounds just too generic and undervalued for what I'm actually doing...

Messed Up my first Coding Interview and that too of Google!

My first rant.

The first question was not an easy one. I cracked it though. Happy. Very Happy! I had 40 minutes left for the second question. And then came the nightmare. Okay, my foolishness.

I compiled my code. Compilation error.
Declared variables. Compilation Error!
Imported Libraries. Compilation Error!
Changed vector to an array. compilation Error!
Checked the loop for edge cases. Compilation Error!
Cannot use an IDE too. Tab's change is not allowed.

My score was still ZERO and I had only 15 minutes left.

Then lazily my eyes went to the language selected. It was C. I wrote the code in C++.

I mean HOW CAN I BE SOOOO STUPID??
I was coding in an entirely different language!

But..But, the story doesn't end here.
Next, I copied the code and switched languages. NOOO, my code was lost. I couldn't paste my code!!

I checked the timer- 5 minutes left.
Somehow, I managed to rewrite the code. And submitted it at the last minute.

I have no idea what will be the results. I just solved 1/2 questions.

SAD but FRUSTRATED at my stupidity :(

"Name 5 weaknesses of yours in the workplace and explain to me how you try to improve yourself based on these."

Just laughed at the question since I expected to name maybe 1 or 2 instead of 5. Only named a few from the top of my head, but this question is bullshit anyways.

Should just have noped out of there instead though since the company was poorly organized.

It continually never ceases to amaze me how many people ask me a question without doing the proper research beforehand. For instance, "How far is the Earth from Jupiter?" How am I supposed to know that? The only thing I'm going to do is Google it and then tell you anyway. Stop asking me stupid questions that you can easily search yourself!

Rewrite of the sync api to REST.

Coworker: “hey, I know you’ve written and maintained our sync module for the past 4 years. Something I need to know? Some hints or knowledge you can share?”
Me: only thing you should not do is x and y. Otherwise you will face problems a and b.”
Coworker: “great, thanks a lot!”

2 months later...

Customer call: “da fuck are you doing? When I do stupid stuff then I face problem z and problem a!!!”

*me checking new code*

*me calling coworker*

Me: “WTF did you do? You asked for my advice and then did exactly what I told you NOT to do.”

Coworker: “oh, let me check the code..”

*coworker calls boss*

Coworker: “Boss, I can’t work with this guy, he starts fights all the time..”

*boss comes to my desk*

Boss: “I don’t want you to work on this anymore, people are complaining.”

Me: “what the fuck, I just asked him a question..”

~ 1 month later

coworker quits because he can’t handle all the bugs he caused and I have to maintain this piece of fucking retard code..

Tl:dr Guy acts like a moron and is useless in group tasks.

In my class there is this one guy, that I'll just call carl. Now Carl do some stuff that irritates me, but is harmless. Things like repeat the answer he get's every time he asks a question. I fucking hate it, but it's okay. He also says some pretty stupid stuff. Like today when he asked why Ubuntu started when he turned on a computer, the guy next to him simply said because it's installed while I facepalmed.
Carl does even worse things than that. I was asked to work with Carl on a group task.
Now I hate talking in front of people, so we decided that I would do the writing and he would speak to the rest of the class.
I made a word document containing what he had to say, but we also wanted a PowerPoint presentation to make it look better and so the other could get read the basics on what we we were presenting.
Carl decided that he could create the PowerPoint presentation, and I thought why not. The thing I didn't expect was that Carl would install Ubuntu on his laptop, without saving the presentation somewhere else. In other words HE FUCKING DELETED IT.
But it's fine he could just create it using a program that isn't PowerPoint. OH WAIT OF COURSE CARL FOUND A WAY TO TO FUCK THIS. The next time we had that subject he came without his laptop (we use our laptops in all our courses) because he managed to make it unusable, although he fixed it a few days later.
At that point I said fuck it and created the presentation myself.
At this point I didn't trust Carl with anything sharper than a spoon and decided, against our previous, plans to present it with him. Now I sent him the Word and PowerPoint documents so he would now what to say and what the class was going to see.
THIS GUY DECIDED TO JUST READ WORD FOR WORD OF THE POWERPOINT AKA NOT THE THING I ASKED HIM TO DO. So half the the time it was me going into slight detail about advertisement on the net and how people finding your company on google helps to sell products, AND THE OTHER WAS HIM SAYING A FEW WORDS. JESUS CHRIST, Carl basically didn't do shit yet he acted like he did. That's something that really makes me mad.

i asked my senior "why we need a develop branch" and his reply was "-_-" , literally an emoji.

Ok ,well this might be a stupid question, but i have been in this organisation for 6 months and all this time these guys have not been able to make a proper release. either they miss commits while cherry picking, or they end up reverting stuff, or they are delaying the releases due to QA disapprovals, backend issues or management issues.

i proposed a simpler vcs :

1. `uat` is the source of truth
2. for every release we create a temporary branch `release-x.y.z` from `uat`
3. then we develop every feature in a branch cut from `uat` as `feat-abc`, code in it , and merge it back to `release-x.y.z`
4. finally we merge `release-x.y.z` into `uat`

where is develop branch supposed to be cut?
which branch is supposed to be cut from develop?
which branch is supposed to merge into develop?
where is develop supposed to be merged?

no one has answers to these fucking questions. but still they wanna confuse the whole team of 15+ android and ios devs about how to use which procedure

fml :/

Is it possible to build a program that can detect if an image is a meme or not?

On stackoverflow
*Someone asks a question, asking for a feature.
* I put some link of a library, with some words.
* the asker says it's helpful
* some other unrelated stupid moron downvoted my answer

So f*king stressed out!

3 weeks passed at new job and I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing. My PRs got tons of comments and I still can't finish a tiny ticket that should be very easy but it's in a stack that I have almost 0 knowledge about. I feel so incompetent and afraid that I won't pass the probation. 😥

The stress hit so hard that I can't eat, feeling nausea every morning and can't sleep well at all. I question myself if I'm too stupid to be a developer, should I just give up?

😭😰😱😥😵

Argh this is so bad!

How many bits are in a nibble?

(nybble/nyble)

....I did not know, nor did I know what a nibble was...WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.....any takers?

My Precalculus teacher has such overstrict rules on showing work.

1. On tests, degree signs must be shown in all work. This wouldn't be outrageous except that if the answer is right but a single degree sign is missing in the mandated shown work, the entire question is wrong even with a correct final answer because the "answer doesn't match up with the work".

2. We must show work in the exact form mandated from on class. If even a single step of work is missing or wrong on even one say homework problem, no credit even if the entire rest of the sheet is correct and complete.

3. Never applied to me, but if a homework problem cannot be solved by a student, they must write a sentence describing how far they got and what wasn't doable, or no credit on the entire homework. Did I mention it is checked daily and is 2 unweighted points with 50-100 point tests?

4. On graphing calculator problems, one had to draw a rectangle representing the calculator screen, even for solving systems of equations without explicit drawing graphs as part of the problem, because otherwise, she had "no proof that a calculator was used". It isn't that hard to fake, and it was quite stupid.

5. Reference triangles were required even when completely unnecessary or the answers were assumed copied, even if a better method was shown in work.

And much, much more!

We need an open-source alternative to stack overflow. They have fucking monopolizing pieces of ratshit admins there and lame ass bots.

I HAD A FUCKING 450 REP :/ and now i have "reached my question limit"

I mean its okay of you want to keep stackoverflow clean , but straight out rejecting the new queries should be against your god damn principles, if those mofos have any!

If it is so easy to downvote and delete a question for the mods, why can't they create a trash site called dump.stackoverflow.com ? whenever a question is not following their stupid guidelines , downvote it to oblivion. After a certain limit, that question goes to dump space where it will be automatically removed after 30 days. Atleast give us 30 fucking days to gather attention of audience !

And how does a question defines someone's character that you downright ban the person from asking new questions? Is there a phd that we should be doing in our mother's womb to get qualified as legitimate question author?

"No questions are stupid" is what we usually hear in our school/college life. And that's a stretch, i agree. Some questions are definitely stupid. But "Your questions are so stupid we are removing you from the site" is the worst possible way to deal with a question asker.

Bloody assholes.

Now, can anyone tell me that if am passing a parcelable list of objects in an intent before starting a new activity, how can i retrieve it in the new activity without getting any kotlin warnings?
The compiler is saying that the data coming via intent is that of list<Type!> aka list of platform type, so how to deal with this warning?

Back when I was at university, during the first lesson of web development class, our teacher said: “If you have any doubt or problem, please ask me. The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask!”

A fellow student raised is hand and asked how to do printf in Java (it was totally legit as most of us only used C at that point and it was our only reference in programming).

Our teacher: “What kind of fucking stupid question is this?!?”

😳

There are no stupid or dumb questions. A lot of headache has been and could have been saved by one person asking what seemed like a stupid question.

I would now expand on this to say that if the question is procedural in the sense that it’s asking “what” or “how”, you should make every attempt to come to an answer yourself and then ask for clarification. If the question revolves around “why”, there are no stupid questions. A lot can be overlooked in a cascade of moving pieces.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI

I am in love.
I am in love with all the guys and girls working at Microchip support.
I am the kind of user that does not really understand what he's doing/what he wants to do, so I am constantly stuck in stupid configuration errors or looking for impossible solutions, yes I am THAT kind of a user...

Here is a PWM working, a support guy spent some minutes telling me that I have to connect to the right pin.
Ok, he had to tell me twice.😳
Thank you, it may have taken me days to find out this.

They does not know, but there is a HUGE amount of decreasing dumb question incoming 😈
Please be kind with me, and don't get mad when things will get serious, I will probably bring hell in your office, I am very sorry for that...

Still, thank you for helping the dumbest learner-by-mistake that doesn't know how to recognize a mistake.

I can't write this in the ticket system, I hope someone of you use devRant! (atsame54 office, I am talking with you!)

You are my stack overflow, and the project I will develop with your help is quite the only thing left before my graduate.

I will owe you so much beers, love you guys!!!

Every fucking day I'm asked some fucking stupid question that could have been easily figured if this fucker took 2 mins to look.

"Hey why isn't the issue closed with your commit message? Is it because the CI fail?"

No you dipshit. It's because it hasn't been merged into the master branch. And no the CI didn't fail. If you took 20 seconds to actually look into the pull request you'll see it passed.

God why?

When the intern blocks my pull request to ask another stupid question

Hey devs, really need some help here. This is driving me crazy...

We're currently taking issues from the company via mail. We've got a group mail that goes to the three of us at the IT department. Problem is, colleagues just forward customers emails without event trying to help, which means that we get stupid issues like "I can't sign in", and no further information. We're currently using Jira, and I was thinking perhaps we can set up a Jira Service Desk? Then we could have an internal help desk where issues could be submitted, and require some important fields, and perhaps add a checklist. Have you had any experience with Service Desk? Do you think it would be a good idea to have a "normal" person have an account there as well to filter out the normal "Have you tried restarting your computer" stuff? Is it suited for non-developers?

Any other ideas?

Yeay, messy question, but I'm fucking desperate...

I really need to vent. Devrant to the rescue! This is about being undervalued and mind-numbingly stupid tasks.

The story starts about a year ago. We inherited a project from another company. For some months it was "my" project. As our company was small, most projects had a "team" of one person. And while I missed having teammates - I love bouncing ideas around and doing and receiving code reviews! - all was good. Good project, good work, good customer. I'm not a junior anymore, I was managing just fine.
After those months the company hired a new senior software engineer, I guess in his forties. Nice and knowledgeable guy. Boss put him on "my" project and declared him the lead dev. Because seniority and because I was moved to a different project soon afterwards. Stupid office politics, I was actually a bad fit there, but details don't matter. What matters is I finally returned after about 3/4 of a year.

Only to find senior guy calling all the shots. Sure, I was gone, but still... Call with the customer? He does it. Discussion with our boss? Only him. Architecture, design, requirements engineering, any sort of intellectually challenging tasks? He doesn't even ask if we might share the work. We discuss *nothing* and while he agreed to code reviews, we're doing zero. I'm completely out of the loop and he doesn't even seem to consider getting me in.

But what really upsets me are the tasks he prepared for me. As he first described them they sounded somewhat interesting from a technical perspective. However, I found he had described them in such detail that a beginner student would be bored.
A description of the desired behaviour, so far so good. But also how to implement it, down to which classes to create. He even added a list of existing classes to get inspiration or copy code from. Basically no thinking required, only typing.

Well not quite, I did find something I needed to ask. Predictably he was busy. I was able to answer my question myself. He was, as it turns out, designing and implementing something actually interesting. Which he never had talked about with me. Out of the loop. Fuck.

Man, I'm fuming. I realize he's probably just ignorant. But I feel treated like his typing slave. Like he's not interested in my brain, only in my hands. I am *so* fucking close to assigning him the tasks back, and telling him since I wasn't involved in the thinking part, he can have his shitty typing part for himself, too. Fuck, what am I gonna do? I'd prefer some "malicious compliance" move but not coming up with ideas right now.

Each day DevRant seems to be closer to being overrun with ads, many to scammy crypto services.
The question that won't rest, though, is this:
In THIS social network is anyone so naive or just plain stupid enough to fall for ANY of those scams? Or actually buy any of the crappy services?!?

"This is ridiculous, why don't the docs explain this? This is absurd, it seems like thousands of people should be having this issue. Why do maintainers fucking not get it? Why write software if you don't intend for anyone else to use it?"

versus

"Hey, could you explain X to me? I'm having trouble understanding it."
"Sure, here: ..."
"Thanks - maybe we could add it to the docs, that's the first place I looked."
"Absolutely, good idea."
<closed in a8b7cb8d>

Which one was easier, folks? It's not this difficult. 100% going to help you if you ask - to me, at least, there's no such thing as a stupid question (seriously, I'll answer the most inane questions 100 times over if I need to). However, there's definitely a stupid comment, and unfortunately they seem to be the majority I receive on Github.

Question for Web Server Gurus and Security Ninjas.

How to prevent bots, crawlers, spammers sending various numerous requests to your web servers?

There have been numerous requests to routes like /admin /ssh /phpmyadmin etc etc and all kinds of stuff to the web server.

Is there a way to automatically block those stupid IPs :/

Question: What do you mean that you have a bachelor in computer science from college? What do you mean college?
Answer by me: Are you fucking stupid or something???? Give a fucking code test and I will saw you what college means... Little piece of shit!!!! And next time when you are searching for PHP developer do not ask for site development with WordPress experience you fucking noob!!!!

I'm really not sure. When I was 7-8 years old, I liked to view source in IE, then I somehow managed to use Javascript in the browser. First only some dumb opening of windows. And I liked Batch, so I made some files for copying, backup and stuff.

Then I got to PHP during the years from some online tutorial about making dynamic websites. My website was more static than stone, but yeah, I did page loading with PHP! Awful experience anyway, because I had to install Xampp, get it work and other stuff. 11 years old or so. (and I used Xampp only as a fileserver between laptop and desktop later, because.. PHP4... just no.)

As 12 years old or so I experienced my first World of Warcraft (vanilla) on a custom server in an internet cafe and I thought it's a singleplayer game. When I found out that no, I googled how to make my own server (hated multiplayer back then and loved good games with huge storylines). Failed miserably with ManGOS, got something to work with ArcEMU. There I learned some C++ basic stuff, which I hoped would helped me to fix some bugs. When I opened the code I was like: "Suuure." and left it like that. I learned what a MySQL database is, broke it like four times when I forgot WHERE and still rather played with websites i.e. html, css, js and optionally php when I wanted to repair a webpage for the server. With a friend we managed to get the server work via Hamachi, was fun, the server died too soon. Then I got ManGOS to work, but there wasn't really any interest to make a server anymore, just singleplayer for the lore. (big warcraft fan, don't kick me :D )

I think it was when I was 13y.o. I went to Delphi/Pascal course, which I liked a lot from the beginning, even managed to use my code on old Knoppix via Lazarus(Pascal). At this age I really liked thoae Flash games which were still common to see everywhere. So I downloaded .swfs, opened and tried to understand it. Managed to pull some stuff from it and rewrite in Pascal. Nope, never again that crap.

About the same time I got to Flash files I discovered Java. It was kind of popular back then, so I thought let's give it a try. I liked Flash more. Seriously. I've never seen so much repetitiveness and stupid styling of a code. I had either IDE for compiling C++ or Pascal or notepad! You think I wanted my code kicked all over the place in multiple folders and files? No.

So back to Pascal. I made some apps for my old hobby, was quite satisfied with the result (quiz like app), but it still wasn't the thing. And I really thought I'd like to study CS.

I started to love PHP because of phpBB forums I worked on as 15 y.o. I guess. At the same time I think there was an optional subject at school, again with Pascal. I hated the subject, teacher spoke some kind of gibberish I didn't really understand back then at all and now I find it only as a really stupid explanation of loops and strings.

So I started to hate Pascal subject, but not really the lang itself. Still I wanted something simpler and more portable. Then I got to Python as hm, 17y.o. I think and at the same time to C++ with DevC++. That was time when I was still deciding which lang to choose as my main one (still playing with website, database and js).

Then I decided that learning language from some teacher in a class seriously pisses me off and I don't want to experience it again. I choose Python, but still made some little scripts in C++, which is funny, because Python was considered only as a scripting lang back then.

I haven't really find a cross-platform framework for C++, which would: a) be easy to install b) not require VisualStudio PayForMe 20xy c) have nice license if I managed to make something nice and distribute it. I found Unity3D though, so I played with Blender for models, Audacity for music and C# for code. Only beautiful memories with Unity. I still haven't thought I'm a programmer back then.

For Python however I found Kivy and I was playing with it on a phone for about a year. Still I haven't really know what to do back then, so I thought... I like math, numbers, coding, but I want to avoid studying physics. Economics here I go!

Now I'm in my third year at Uni, should be writing thesis, study hard and what I do? Code like never before, contribute, work on a 3D tutorial and play with Blender. Still I don't really think about myself as a programmer, rather hobby-coder.

So, to answer the question: how did I learn to program? Bashing to shit until it behaved like I desired i.e. try-fail learning. I wouldn't choose a different path.

Imagine going on quora and answering somebodies carbon offsetting question by pushing your own stupid fucking agenda with propaganda answers like

"oh we need rainforest money!"

"oh we need grassland!"

"oh support the cows"

jesus fucking christ, THIS is why we have a problem with people not accepting climate change, becuase every fucking liberal wants to pile on one another and have their 'most important' cause behind it

give me a break you fucking idiots, it won't be solved by acting this way

sorry this is in no way software related, but it's the only place left i have to rant (however in some ways it is somehow software related, due to being able to think about the real world without being an absolute idiot and pushing some stupid peer pressured political idea because your social identity and friends are more important than actual facts, but whatever)

I was asked a stupid question recently:

I was questioned to why I fix things.

Wtf? Why wouldn't you fix something that could be useful? Idiots

End Rant

The one they say they fire you and say that everything will be all right and you’re nice but you have to live.

If you ever be in such situation remember at the end to thank them a lot that they decided to fire you but also ask why it took them so long to figure this out. ( especially if you work more than couple of years ).

Their faces after your question - priceless.

Thank again and immediate leave afterwards so they can ask themselves this question till the end of their lives and you will actually feel better and remember their stupid faces that will make you laugh when you’re old.

And yeah everything gonna be probably all right but you need to find better job not same stupid deep shits.

M so angry at one of my faculties today!!

Basically, the faculty is utter garbage ( although he is supposed to b the best and most experienced guy ). He teaches us data communication but all he does is start up a presentation, read from there and tell that to us adding a thing or two...
Well we have been tolerating him for the entire semester at this point so... whatever, we have come to peace with the fact that we simply attend to get attendance...

But, yesterday, there was a seminar going on and I asked a question to the speaker... the speaker started replying and the faculty interrupted the speaker to crack an ill joke about me... and started laughing... I mean what the hell!!! Ur supposed to be a faculty and THAT is how u behave?!
Anyway, many people laughed... more so because of the way he laughed than his “joke”.
Made me burn with rage but i forgot about it thanks to the seminar being decent.

Today, he was checking our assignments... he became angry and the reason being we didn’t write answers from the presentation and instead used the Internet.

This is what he said:
“ I have given u the presentation and that is exactly where u will write the assignments from... if u wanna use the internet to find the answers, then why do u come to my class!! “
I literally wanted to say - “ to get freaking attendance!! “
Somehow I didn’t... my assignment wasn’t checked today so nothing bad happened...

And btw, the assignments that he gives r 30 terminologies ( words and meanings ),
And nearly 25-30 question answers...

Just go thru the presentation to get all the answers... and this is called “teaching” and “education” !!!! 😠😠😠😠

No research, no understanding, simply do as he says, even in quizzes, even if ur answer is correct but it is not exactly the point he asks, screw u!
He will scold u...

I CAME TO COLLEGE TO LEARN AND UNDERSTAND!!! NOT MUG UP UR STUPID ANSWERS TO PASS IN EXAMS!!!!!!

M now imagining ways to kill him 😠😠😠😠🔥🔥🔥🔥

I worked a whole year in a company for which I produced 30 software and none of them saw the publication even though they were completed. I was the most productive employee and had a productivity of 428% compared with the other employees. 
All because of the constant changes in business strategies. 
For a moment I believed to be a pirate ship during a storm. When I was tired of the way they were treating employees, months of backlog payments, unpaid leave or not granted, I quit and I was told to me that I was a bad employee and I was unproductive. 
In a month he is left only the designer working. At the moment the company in question is still looking for employees, after more than a year no one wanted to work again. Stupid me.
While I ras looking for another job I did freelance for a month, gaining about five times my earlier pay.

Only questions I consider stupid are the ones that are permutations of an original question asked constantly from month to month. They should know the answer by now!

Asker: "Theres a bug. I cant log into this account"

Dev: "It's a different dev database, so use the password for that one"

Not the question itself, the attitude was the problem.

I didn't solve the problem that they gave me, and struggled for a while (I ended up solving it an hour after the interview).

Their attitude was that they were both sitting on their computers working and not paying attention to me.

That was disrespectful and stupid. Interviews are also about figuring out whether you can work with the person being interviewed, not just their tech chops. They completely missed the opportunity.

I went to round 2 which was the same. Didn't go for round 3.

I started applying for jobs. As I have over 150 repos on GitHub and 10 years of relevant work experience, the company obviously had trouble validating if I had some basic coding skills. That's why they decided to send me a coding "homework" task to build an app in React Native.

Basically, the task was building an app with 2 screens and one bonus where they indicated "doesn't need a UI". I spent half a day spinning up their project, installing XCode, their specific versions of Ruby, and around half a day building the thing.

Obviously, I wanted to demonstrate my technical skills, so I added a few tests, proper typing, comments, and so on. The project was in a good state, and on the "bonus" screen I quickly added a few components. Since I have a lot of things going on, I capped the amount of time to one day of work. I felt it was good enough to demonstrate I can build something like this.

A few days later, I received a response from the recruiter telling me they wouldn't move forward. She in depth explained that this was because of a missing key property. I did indeed miss one key property on the "bonus" screen, in the part that was not even part of the core task. This was a list of very few static elements, and the entire list only got rerendered when changing routes. Basically in this case, there would not be any visible performance impact.

The recruiter explained in the email that I was missing the eye for detail they need, and that I should "educate" myself more about lists in React. I made one tiny silly mistake in a one-day project, that a linter would've taken out (if this project had one). I've contributed to React Native myself and worked with React for almost 7 years now? Yeah, it's a stupid thing, but what is the point of these types of tasks? I thought this was to demonstrate my skillset, not to be called out on.

Either way, my question here is this: at which point does it become appropriate to send an invoice for the time I wasted on this?

Today I asked a stupid question on stackoverflow
Got a reply which I already knew
I just hadn’t implemented it as it had to be put in a complex part of code step by step.
I took the time and implemented the solution step by step and it worked.
Why have I become like this.....old and stupid....

I have never understood why there is so much animosity from seasoned devs in the community.

I see it in a lot of places. Stackoverflow, reddit, even devRant. In so many cases, an inexperienced dev will post to the web, only to be shot down by things like "this question is stupid" or "you all have it too easy and its apparent you never learned basic CS principles" or things of that nature. In a lot of cases, these are generally unhelpful replies and often teach new devs to be wary of seeking help.

Please help me to understand, why this is.

Is it because the community is angry at these devs trying to get a high paying job by going to a bootcamp and shortcutting the hard work it takes to understand core CS principles to become a decent developer? Then why not take a moment to provide resources or insight to these folks so they can learn to be better?

Is it because the community feels that devs from bootcamps are just watering down the pool of talent making our worth decrease? I feel this isnt really valid because seasoned, experienced architects will always be needed to build good software. And at that, why are we not ensuring that the next wave of developers is equipped to handle tasks like that?

There are a lot of good people in this community who want to help and make the net a better place for all developers (after all, many of us consider it home), but there's a lot more people out there with really shitty attitudes, and it frustrates the hell out of me that my juniors now equate arrogant, self-entitled responses and attitudes with "seasoned devs" and discourages them from even bothering to get involved in the community.

seeing questions like "finding the Longest Substring Without Repeating Characters" and being unable to find answer for hours make me question myself as a developer and wanna leave the tech world entirely.
And i am the dev who reduced an app size from 64mb to 27mb and rewrote the entire payment stack for a 10million user base company :|

DSA and competitive programming is seriously a bullshit. The world runs on fancy buttons and screens, and grabbing user's attention should be the ultimate goal to get profits. nobody should be learning this aweful stuff anymore. We are storing the open source and stack overflow content below the oceans and glaciars for a fucking reason!, so that our future gen could use those stupid knowlege without recreating the wheel

Why do we have this inferiority complex component in our life? do foot doctors also feel low for not able to understand heart or the working of eyeballs? they all are doctors to us, and all are equally appreciated by peons, HRs, receptionists the owner and even his freaking colleague doctors and seniors!!
But here we will be judged by a stupid "coding interview" for the role of a dev . the interviewer will be laughing at me for not solving a trivial problem with strings, as if I am seeing those bloody strings for the first time. I will be like some peasent to him, asking for more wages while portraying myself as some unqualified filth

FUCK this SHIT

Startup: We are looking for interns. Do this project that we know will take you a week. But your chances mostly depend on this project.

Me looking for my first internship: Takes complete 2 days to submit the project which had so many open-ended questions. They review and say I aced the project and would like to interview.

Interviewer 1: From the beginning starts asking me if I myself have done this or that, gets thrown some questions that I answer immediately and then suddenly get accused that I must have copied from a tutorial on an open-ended question. I used what I learned from my previous projects, what do you want from me. You never specified all the cases. Then he said is done.

Interviewer 2: Hello, we are a new startup. We will make you work 40 hours a week. Then he lied. Are you allowed to lie?? He said we are unpaid (I read it wasn't) to ask what motivates me. The other interviewer on being asked did say that it wasn't unpaid. By this point, I was done.

Got rejected today. Wasted almost 3 days on their stupid project. I am so salty!!!

Maybe a stupid question but I can't seem to google the right words.

In Linux, how do I reference the same device (disk) through reboots? Like, there's no guarantee that /dev/sda1 will be the same device twice, right?

Like, if I have three or four disks and I want one for "backups", how do I choose that disk *every time*?

Is it OK to punch a game dev who codes stupid numeric bugs?

So my wife got into Stardew Valley, that admittedly awesome comfort game farming simulator.
She went pretty far in the game, and found some item that was supposed to highly increase the damage she could inflict onto cute little monster thingies.
It didn't work as intended.
Since equipping the piece of shit all her hits did 0 damage. She tossed the item away but the problem persisted. And on and on...
She took to the googles to try and find some explanation, and apparently that is a fairly common bug for mobile devs.
Then she called in the big guns (that is how I'm calling myself in this case, you will see why).

Apparently there is some buggy piece of shitcode somewhere in the game with a numerical insecure routine that overflows the attack modifier. I.e. if it was supposed to increase from 1.990 to 2.010, it actually went all the way down to -0.4.
She was lucky her attacks weren't increasing the monsters' HP.

We found a forum post where some dude said that he managed to edit the game save file and reset the negative-value attack increase modifier variable. Seems easy enough at first, but my wife uses iOS. Nothing is ever so straightforward with apple stuff.

We did get to the save file, she emailed it to me (the file has no extension and no line breaks in it, so we facepalm'd on a couple attempts at editing it directly).
I finally manage to get it into my personal 11-yo laptop... that won't open a single line file that big.

Cue the python terminal. Easy enough to read the file into a string var and search for the buggy XML tag. Edit the value and overwrite into a new file. Send it back to her by email. Figure out how to overwrite the file in iOS.

Some tense moments while the game reloads... and it works!!!! Got some serious hubby goodwill points here.
Srsly, this troubleshoot process is not for technophobes. It is out of reach to pretty much every non-techy user.

And now back to the original question: If I ever manage to find the kid who coded a game-breaking numerically unsafe routine and shipped it as if every test in the planet had waved it bye-bye, can I punch them? Or maybe buy them a beer, let's see how I get to cash that hubby goodwill tonight :)

I was wondering how many years will I get for killing muggles who approach me with ideas about the "Next Facebook Idea" after hearing I am a programmer?!

Would be possible to be freed of all charges?

Fuck I am to stupid to set up an ubuntu.

I just installed ubuntu as a dual boot on my notebook.
But now I can't boot it.
I mean I can boot it but only if I go to recovery mode first.

Any Idea what I could do?

Once again, I urge you all to read any LLM threads on hackernews... its funny seeing tech bros debate things they clearly don't understand

it also wouldnt hurt for them to read perhaps just one philosophy book, since they are attempting to argue about what conciousness actually is (still an open question anyway) so ultimately, what i am trying to say is, these stupid threads end up being a bunch of hot air being blown around that doesnt really accomplish anything

i will say it is funny though how close some of these tech bros think we are to AGI with these LLMs 😂

imagine thinking a text generator is nearly general intelligence = clueless

Recently I started coding a project for my school with two of my friends. The first one is a person which spends most of his time reading 4chan and joking about Pope, you know this kind of person. The second, Michael, is a really good partner for coding, he's just an opposite of Jedrzej, the first one. Jedrzej used to call people 'cancer' and this kind of sh**. Lately Michael said, that he's mother has breast cancer and he left our conversation on Facebook. Later I told Jedrzej, that he has to tell Michael 'sorry', but he wrote something stupid (doesn't matter what) and the situation only went wrong. At least I told them that they have to bury the hatchet and start working. The only problem here is that Michael and I made 99.7% of our project, Jedrzej only updated README and shared his VPS. I'm a full-stack dev, but our project is on laravel and I don't know what kind of sorcery is this framework so Michael does the back-end. My question to all of you who read this rant - what should I do with lazy Jedrzej?

do people not understand achievements unless you brag about them =-=

been asking AI on different examples of flexing and all of them sound like vapid LinkedIn posts

"just asked AI a question that's been bugging me for hours! it's such a nothing to have no answers still! 🎉"

one of my favourite examples: "accidentally set my kitchen on fire while trying to impress my friends with my cooking skills. but hey, I now know how to order takeout like a pro. win?"
lol what

I now wonder if I'm depressed cuz graduating school or finishing projects or... uhh ordering food? just sounds stupid to me

rewrote my code from hashset to hashmap. actually kind of re-organized some data types. brain is fog because fuck you. but everything ran so I guess rust thinks it's ok. I'm just annoyed by all that though cuz I just wish I didn't have to do it in the first place

TF is there to brag about

also if you brag about anything good everyone just wants to steal it from you

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF BRAGGING

Today’s text chat:

Me walking near the river in the middle of nowhere with a cellphone.

frontend developer:
- I need image from test server. Can you provide me that image ? I need it for my local environment to fix something ( writes details of how to get an image ).

me:
- Can’t you go to test server website and get it by yourself ?

frontend developer:
- But this image is on canvas element.

me:
- Because frontend is drawing in on canvas so go to network tab and get the url.

frontend developer:
- Ah yes I can do that

I have such small talks all the fucking time. They accumulate when I go out to chill during the day.

How to get answers on StackOverflow without getting attacked by ferocious developers:
1) Ask your question before 2012
2) Upload as many details as possible. (Send your entire PC by mail is reccomended)
3) Be as specific as possible. Just repeat your question indefinetly changing the wording a little bit.
4) Don't ask for code examples. If you ask stupid questions it's obvious you are an expert developer and know how to implement stuff... right?

Most importantly respond politely to all of these traditional stackoverflow answers:
"Did you at least google it?"
"You need to be more specific"
"We can't spoon feed you"
"You shouldn't do that thing that way, I personally prefere this way and nobody can change my mind"
"You don't have enough experience to do that thing, don't do it"

I want to kick this stupid kids ass!

So I'm on a Slack channel for live help for people who are learning JavaScript and I stick around and help people just while I'm by my computer. This kid is on there is constantly asking questions, which I don't mind but I mean I think part of programming is looking up the freakin info to figure it out occasionally. Anyways-

So in each lesson you watch a video ~10-15 mins long and then do an assignment. Well this kid constantly dm's me and asks me for help so I help him. Then as soon as he is done with that lesson quiz, 30 secs later I see him post a question from the NEXT lesson on the Slack channel. I'm like look you dumbass kid, you are going to have to learn this stuff. I mean for shit's sake! He is just on there asking questions for answers to the damn questions and not even watching the freakin lesson videos.

What a waste of my freakin time and effort to help this idiot. Plus there's a test at the end which no one can offer help on. So this dumbass is going to finish the lessons and then not know a damn thing in order to pass the test. I'm pissed that he doesn't even try and I'm over here helping him like an idiot. NERD RAGE!

Happened a few ago when I started taking SQL classes in school. We had our theory exam with one question asking us to display the date of the following day. And since I knew dick about working with date, I decided to make the computer sleep for 86400 seconds and print current date (which was like the only command I knew about dates).I feel really stupid thinking about that now.. but it was fun :P

Ok people told me to make a collision library...um really stupid question but I’ve never tried that or thought of it. Thank you in advance but does anyone want to point me toward some nice resources... THANKS also I did ye classic aliases sudo to fucking

Err. I'm working on something this is a stupid question. But is there a way to save data and stuff without having to go into back end?

If not or if there is. What should I look into/learn to get it done without having to go too deep

I'm in several FB groups for selling/buying IT material, and from time to time I see someone trying to scam other people by selling those "GAMING PC L33TL4z0rz" with 4GB RAM and an GeForce 700GT GPU, attaching some LED action photos and League of Legends / CS:GO prints.

One of the most recent posts, was a guy who was trying to sell his (really old) macBook.
He said it was great for gaming, had an i5 CPU and 4GB of RAM.

Upon leaving my comment on the pieace of shit he was selling and that 4GB was barely enough to run Chrome, I got a shitload of replies saying that 4GB on a mac are not the same as 4GB on windows... So I immediately forgot everything I knew about computers and just left most (if not all) sales groups because I felt that a tumor of sorts started growing in me, a tumor of rage and awe in human stupidity.

Slowly, I started feeling superior to other people, and would immediately regard them as idiot simpletons. And I don't want to be THAT guy, who rolls his eyes every time someone asks a stupid question...

Now, if any of you could please inform me... What is the RAM conversion rate between a windows and a mac ?

When people mail me asking something i think is stupid question i reply with this pic,
(It is also my profile picture on Linq now) :(

Okay before you read on this is a stupid question!

So the most common response I get when I ask for advice is contribute to open source projects but theres some problems.

> I dont know how to find projects on github or anywhere

> I dont know how or where to start when I actually find a project

> I'm way too intimidated by huge projects like linux, browsers, etc

> I don't know what to add

> I'm too afraid of messing up the project

> my understanding of github its self is very limited and I'm not good at using it. (Which isnt a problem for the open source development but since I'd be using github it is a problem)

Theres always smaller problems too but those should sum it up

One of the most inefficient practices I've seen done in companies is the company housing 50+ devs having to hire an expensive consultant who is only available on a limited time to figure out mysterious or in-depth problems with the company's main application (for example, JavaScript problems).

Then the whole dev team sits on his shoulders and production can't run smoothly until he fixes things. Even worse, him having the so-called qualifications, being the 'expert', but when asked an in-depth JavaScript question, they don't know the answer.
When I suggest to figure out things in-depth so problems like these can be prevented in the future, I'm met with: "Nah bro, we'll just apply quick fix #2" just because I carry the title 'Junior Developer'. Makes me want to hit my head on the wall on how stupid these people are.

This could all be solved if the dev team would be competent in the first place, knows how to read documentation and isn't lazy, most importantly. I hate teams like that.
Grab, the damn, documentation, read W3C, read MDN, get educated, and stop using band-aid solutions! Gah.
Toxic companies like these are what's wrong with some places in the development world.

I'm a proponent of knowledge.
Fellas, know your stuff.

Endel, the freemium garbage app for meditation sounds that sells its subscription by telling you to “invest in your happy brain” (despite being FDA approved) and has an unskippable onboarding question on whether you was professionally diagnosed with ADHD, made a collab with Grimes.

Grimes and Elon Musk are X Æ A-Xii Musk’s parents.

So, Grimes recorded an “AI lullaby” supposedly “for her son”, that was really just a paid collab with Endel to sell their garbage app better.

Poor kid wasn’t even born yet, and everything about his life was already commercialised.

Imagine having Elon Musk as your dad. Grimes reported Elon abused her. Among other things, he made her dye her hair white, because Elon prefers blondes. How creepy is that? Now the poor kid with a stupid name made up to keep Elon’s stock bubble afloat will live with divorced parents.

This is capitalism for ya.

New favorite statement/question: "OK, but WHY?"

When co-workers want access to something, when clients request stupid features, when clients say almost anything really.

If you can't tell me why, then I probably don't need to waste my time on it.

Ok... so I have a unique question/opportunity. I can't give all the details but here's the jist:

3yrs ago I was hired to consult a now prominent(still decently well known then) web-based company with many thousands of users, dealing with a lot of money and leveraging a social environment. They had several issues but initially they really needed me to find/train chat mods.

I did not take the offer for monetary reasons, like all consulting I've done, I had additional reason and/or fondness to fix the issues. In this case it was an interesting challenge and I knew several customers and some support staff so it'd be worthwhile.

They (without request) reduced their typical 2mo probationary period to 2wk for me. With less than a day left of that period, I was 'hacked' via a pushed telegram update, on the account they made me create for work purposes (they had control of the phone number not me).

During this 'hack' one of the 2, currently active, culprits sent a message to his tg account from the 'hacked' one and quickly deleted the entire convo. The other pretended (poorly) to be me in the chat with the mods in training (at least a few directly witnessed this and provided commentary).

Suddenly, I was fired without any rationale or even a direct, non-culprit, saying anything to me.

The 'hack' also included some very legit, and very ignorantly used, Ukrainian malware.

This 'hack' was only to a 2nd gen lenovo yoga I got due to being a certified refurbisher... just used for small bs like this chat mod/etc job. I even opened up my network, made honey pots, etc., waiting for something more interesting... nope not even an attempt at the static ip.

I started a screen recording program shortly after this crap started (unfortunately after the message sent be 'me' to the dude who actually sent it happened... so i still dont know the contents).

I figured I'd wait it out until i was bored enough or the lead culprit was at a pinnacle to fall from...

The evidence is overwhelming. This moron had no clue what he was doing (rich af by birth type)... as this malware literally created an unhidden log file, including his info down to the MAC id of his MacBook... on my desktop in real time (no, not joking... that stupid)

Here's my quandary... Due to the somewhat adjacent nature of part of our soon to be public start-up... as i dont want it to turn into some coat tail for our tech to ride on for popularity... it's now or never.

Currently im thinking, aside from any revenge-esq scheme, it'd be somewhat socially irresponsible to not out him to his fellow investors and/or the organisation that is growing with him as one of few at the forefront... ironically all about trust/safety/verification of admins in the industry.

I tried to reach out to him and request a call... he's still just as immature. Spent hours essentially spamming me while claiming it wasnt him but hed help me find whoever it was... and several other failed attempts to know what i had. When i confirmed he wasnt going to attempt a call, i informed him id likey mute him because i don't have time for back and forth bs. True to form he deleted the chat (i recorded it but its of no value).

So... any thoughts?

Ok..now its up to you guys. I couldnt find any answer on google that could help me..
SSH : is that only like a dos or batch command line (simply script language) , to go with?
I see often the "$" sign , for what does it stand for?

I still wonder which one is better to fully learn/understand. I know to code something in both, I know about the different way of how they handle memory and I know about some of their use-cases, but then again... this stupid question still pops out:

C or C++ and why?

I use a DasKey Ultimate with blank keycaps at work and people always ask how the hell I can work with that board. I recently bought a Happy Hacking Pro for my tablet/laptop and I must ask the same question to those who daily drive these..

How the fuck do you deal with this retarded layout??

I used the dip switches to at least change the Del to BS but the physical key is stupid small, the control key position is just idiotic and no dedicated arrows? I use VIM and my work desktop is Linux and I come from a UNIX background. Still makes no sense.

</rant>

Challenge questions are so goddamn stupid.

Apparently I have an account with a certain online organization though I don't remember setting it up.

So naturally I had no idea of my username or password, so they asked me challenge questions.

It asked me the city of my birth, which is a place with a weird spelling. Because of that weird spelling, I never remember if I'm spelling it right (I was only there as a newborn infant) And I'm also supposed to remember if I capitalized it or not.

I hate challenge questions. And anyone doing any remotely simple research on me shouldn't have trouble learning what city I was born in so it seems to me it's a security vulnerability, nothing more.

And maybe I'm giving things away by saying it asks me that question, but it's a common security question any hacker would anticipate anyways.

(This is the third time I'm talking about the same question I posted on stack overflow this week, but things keep happening that pisses me off)

Me: *answers my own question, clearly says I tried deleting the php path environment variable and that it didn't work, so that's why I added it back and now it's working perfectly*
Guy: *downvotes my answer* "you need to delete the php path environment variable, here's how"
M: "I did and it didn't work, that's why I added it back and now it's working"
G: "well, you need to delete the php path environment variable"

YOU MOTHERF-

G: "You need to check for all the references"

WERE? You literally only talked about environment variables, I told you I checked those multiple times. Obviously I don't know what I'm doing, if I did I wouldn't be asking such a stupid question like this one, so maybe a little guidance? I mean, isn't that what stack overflow is for? To guide people who don't know how to do something? Don't just say "your wrong" when I said MULTIPLE TIMES I did what you said and it DIDN'T WORK.

Seriously, asking a question there was the worst thing I did 😑

Anyway, he didn't answer back and everything is still working fine, with the php path.

First, realize that trying to accurately estimate how much time something is going to take is akin to accurately predicting the future and that people who ask you to do it are stupid. Then realize that sales-oriented deadlines are the source of all that is evil. Then shift away from sales oriented software. Instead focus on selling existing features and new features on the roadmap have no deadlines, they're done when they're done. Then realize almost no workplace will let you truly do that because chasing the sale is all that matters despite the latest buzz word rhetoric. Then estimate enough buffer to give you a reasonable time to complete it without calling your abilities into question. Then finish it faster so you score points with management, but not every time because then they'll begin to expect it. Now you have leveled up in mind games, an unfortunate but necessary tool in the tool belt. Then hate on sales oriented software some more, rinse and repeat.

is webdesign with webGL only a thing yet?

encrypting strings with the key being the string itself is considered hashing?

Well my expert developer friend asked me why 'bugs' were called 'bugs'....

Personally I told him STFU cause he had to ask such an important question when my headphones were on, nevertheless 'bugs' are getting old now, let's just refer to them as 'problematic, chronic, death causing errors often caused by a stupid typo'

How we devs hate getting humiliated on stack overflow when we don't get the answer and someone make us feel stupid for even posting the question.
How we also secretly wish for that validation and feel proud when there are more likes on our questions.

No? Just me? Ok cool 👍

So I'm in the process of learning go for building RESTful microservices and I have a really stupid but simple question.
Does a go microservice need more than one file? I ask this because my day job is c# and for those who know, asp.net rest projects have a lot of files

I've recently switched environments from c++ to python. I've noticed that I really miss types in python. If I know a function type, param types and so on, I can debug a lot faster.

So, my question: what are the benefits of soft typing? It seems more stupid the more I use it.

GraphQL question here!
So i recently noticed (few years after everyone?) That graphql seems popular... I decided to try it out, but after playing with it a bit, the conclusion I came to is, that it's a great idea from FE point of view, but for the backend not so much.. a simple sql to return data to ui turns into a bunch of parts, all independant and with even the simplest relationship to some other entity the whole thing becomes very not optimized and when googling about it, all i found were some very awkward libs for work arounds to force everything into 1 optimized query again... But wait, i already have 1 optimized query in my rest api 😆

I don't understand if I'm missing the brilliance of graphql that everyone saw, or is everyone fell for the hype and use a stupid tool and pretend it's cool? 🫣

This is a rant about the passion of programming and building in the business world (AKA corporate/startup world)

I speak for myself and I believe many programmers out there who set out on their journey into the world of programming by a certain interest kindled some time when they first wrote their first line of code. We innocently eager, and dream of working for large fancy companies and start making money while doing the thing we love doing the most.

And then... reality hits. We find that most companies are basically just the same thing. Our supposedly creative and mind-challenging passion is now turned into mundane boring repetitive tasks and dealing with all kinds of bazaar demands and requirements. You suddenly go from wanting to change the world to "please move this to left by 10 px". And from experience that drives people to the extent of hating their jobs, and hating the very thing they were once so very infatuated with.

One narrative I see being pushed down the throats of developers (especially fresh young eager developers with no experience) mostly by business people/owners is "WORK FOR PASSION!". I personally heard one CEO say things like "It's not just about a salary at the end of the month. IT IS ABOUT A MISSION. IT IS ABOUT A VISION"...bla...bla...bla. Or "We don't work for money we work for passion". Yeah good luck keeping your business afloat on passion.

What irritates me the most about this, is that it is working. People today are convinced that doing shit jobs for these people are all about passion. But no one wants to stop for a second and think that maybe if people are passionate about something, even if that thing is in the field in which they work, they're not passionate about working for someone else doing something they hate? If I am really working for "passion" why don't I just quit and go work on something that I am ACTUALLY passionate about? Something that brings me joy not dread? It's a simple question but it's baffling to me why no one thinks about it. To me personally, jobs are just that; jobs. It's something to make a living and that's it. I don't give a fuck if you think you're building the next "innovative", "disruptive", "shitluptive" thing :D. Unfortunately that is viewed as "negative limited mentality".

I am quite passionate about programming and making things, but I am not so passionate about building your stupid app/website with a glue code everywhere!

Idk why but this morning I was thinking about this high school elective class where we learned Adobe flash. But specifically 2 instances where I ignored the teacher and did my own thing

1. We were using Sprite sheets and he had us use photoshop to cut out the Sprite to a different layer and manually save each Sprite one by one to disk to use in flash. Some sheets had 50 fucking sprites
So I found a script for Adobe (action script I think they called their Javascript derivative) that exported every layer for me without all the manual clicking. There is probably an even better way. But this worked for how lazy I was back then

2. Our final projects we could do anything but he suggested not doing anything too complicated cause of time constraints and he barely taught is the scrptinh language for Adobe flash so making flash games was almost out of the question.
Me being stupid really wanted to make a working pong game. So I spent too long watching a German (i dont know German) tutorial video I found, and troubleshooting outdated code from that video. And improving things where I could with my limited knowledge made worse cause I wasn't interested in programming and didn't start learning python until the following year

Yeah don't know why I was thinking about those. But I feel it's a good perspective on how far I've come. From hacking together a pong clone with no skills, to being hired to automate and optimize processes and legacy projects

Disclaimer: I should know what I'm doing but I don't. 😢

I'm a very experienced full stack dev (15+ years), but I don't know the more modern JS frameworks. I'm trying to learn React and I have a little project I'd like to do.

I have database (in both SQLite form and JSON form). I'd like to read from it, parse it and run various displays in a shared hosting environment (that doesn't have node). So webpack. And either an API to get the data or a React compatible SQL component.

But dagnamit, I cannot find a tutorial or example with this kind of set up and I can't figure it out. What packages do I need and what kind of config?

I genuinely thought this would be a traditional and simple architecture but I'm obviously mistaken. And I'm about to turn in my developer card because I'm clearly a stupid twonk.

Has anyone done this? Do you know of any tutorials or examples of this kind of thing? Is there somewhere else I should ask this question? Thanks anyway...

YGGG IM SO CLOSE I CAN ALMOST TASTE IT.

Register allocation pretty much done: you can still juggle registers manually if you want, but you don't have to -- declaring a variable and using it as operand instead of a register is implicitly telling the compiler to handle it for you.

Whats more, spilling to stack is done automatically, keeping track of whether a value is or isnt required so its only done when absolutely necessary. And variables are handled differently depending on wheter they are input, output, or both, so we can eliminate making redundant copies in some cases.

Its a thing of beauty, defenestrating the difficult aspects of assembly, while still writting pure assembly... well, for the most part. There's some C-like sugar that's just too convenient for me not to include.

(x,y)=*F arg0,argN. This piece of shit is the distillation of my very profound meditations on fuckerous thoughtlessness, so let me break it down:

- (x,y)=; fuck you in the ass I can return as many values as I want. You dont need the parens if theres only a single return.
- *F args; some may have thought I was dereferencing a pointer but Im calling F and passing it arguments; the asterisk indicates I want to jump to a symbol rather than read its address or the value stored at it.

To the virtual machine, this is three instructions:

- bind x,y; overwrite these values with Fs output.
- pass arg0,argN; setup the damn parameters.
- call F; you know this one, so perform the deed.

Everything else is generated; these are macro-instructions with some logic attached to them, and theres a step in the compilation dedicated to walking the stupid program for the seventh fucking time that handles the expansion and optimization.

So whats left? Ah shit, classes. Disinfect and open wide mother fucker we're doing OOP without a condom.

Now, obviously, we have to sanitize a lot of what OOP stands for. In general, you can consider every textbook shit, so much so that wiping your ass with their pages would defeat the point of wiping your ass.

Lets say, for simplicity, that every program is a data transform (see: computation) broken down into a multitude of classes that represent the layout and quantity of memory required at different steps, plus the operations performed on said memory.

That is most if not all of the paradigm's merit right there. Everything else that I thought to have found use for was in the end nothing but deranged ways of deriving one thing from another. Telling you I want the size of this worth of space is such an act, and is indeed useful; telling you I want to utilize this as base for that when this itself cannot be directly used is theoretically a poorly worded and overly verbose bitch slap.

Plainly, fucktoys and abstract classes are a mistake, autocorrect these fucking misspelled testicle sax.

None of the remaining deeper lore, or rather sleazy fanfiction, that forms the larger cannon of object oriented as taught by my colleagues makes sufficient sense at this level for me to even consider dumping a steaming fat shit down it's execrable throat, and so I will spare you bearing witness to the inevitable forced coprophagia.

This is what we're left with: structures and procedures. Easy as gobblin pie.

Any F taking pointer-to-struc as it's first argument that is declared within the same namespace can be fetched by an instance of the structure in question. The sugar: x ->* F arg0,argN

Where ->* stands for failed abortion. No, the arrow by itself means fetch me a symbol; the asterisk wants to jump there. So fetch and do. We make it work for all symbols just to be dicks about it.

Anyway, invoking anything like this passes the caller to the callee. If you use the name of the struc rather than a pointer, you get it as a string. Because fuck you, I like Perl.

What else is there to discuss? My mind seems blank, but it is truly blank.

Allocating multitudes of structures, with same or different types, should be done in one go whenever possible. I know I want to do this, and I know whichever way we settle for has to be intuitive, else this entire project has failed.

So my version of new always takes an argument, dont you just love slurping diarrhea. If zero it means call malloc for this one, else it's an address where this instance is to be stored.

What's the big idea? Only the topmost instance in any given hierarchy will trigger an allocation. My compiler could easily perform this analysis because I am unemployed.

So where do you want it on the stack on the heap yyou want to reutilize any piece of ass, where buttocks stands for some adequately sized space in memory -- entirely within the realm of possibility. Furthermore, evicting shit you don't need and replacing it with something else.

Let me tell you, I will give your every object an allocator if you give the chance. I will -- nevermind. This is not for your orifices, porridges, oranges, morpheousness.

Walruses.

Simple question, I'm writing a coding course that does some cloud stuff.

Which cloud providers actually allow you to limit spending without some stupid "setup a service to nuke everything" fuckery?

As far as I can tell, Azure and Oracle. It's stupid how often this is raised as a concern for beginners and how hard it is to actually limit.

Please explain. I liked it when there was just one 'thing' to do here. I want to post some stupid screenshot and then point out how it's silly or awesome or just whatever... where does that go? It might be a little jab - and a question... and a story...

Every time somone who i have nearly forgott about calls me. I know im gonne get a stupid IT or Tech question...

- Why is my internet slow?
- Can you make a better {xyz}.... for free?
- How can i make my computer faster
- Why does office/spotify/chrome crash?
- Can you teache me programming so i can get rich?

FUCK THEM!

Really, i've got more relevant stuff to do. If you wouldnt have killed all your braincells with smoking and drinking and did something with your life you wouldnt have to ask such stupid questions in the first place. And thanks for never contacting me in the past X years!

This is like deja vu because I recently asked an equally stupid git question here :p

So there is a company selling bullshit miraculous devices which they claim can heal everything from foul breath to cancer and autism by light and magnetic pulses. They trick old, naive, gullible, ignorant or simply stupid people into paying big money for their stuff which is always "on sale, just now just for you".

The question is: if they would ask you to build a website for them (which would help their shady business grow) would you refuse their actually pretty generous offer because of moral reasons, or do it like any other job?

(I know my answer, I'm just curious about others' opinions.)

Question for game developers 🙄
I wanted to try game development a few years back, started watching unity3D tuts, but I realized quickly that I can't actually do anything, because I don't have the skills to design animation and draw ui, and it was stupid to buy components online before I knew what I'm doing.. so I left it. Was I wrong? How did you start? Is it possible to make a game on your own, or do you need a team with members who each specialize in its own area (code, design, animation, music, etc.) And if team is needed, then how do you even start learning? Thanx