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Interviewer: Welcome, Mr X. Thanks for dropping by. We like to keep our interviews informal. And even though I have all the power here, and you are nothing but a cretin, let’s pretend we are going to have fun here.
Mr X: Sure, man, whatever.
I: Let’s start with the technical stuff, shall we? Do you know what a linked list is?
X: (Tells what it is).
I: Great. Can you tell me where linked lists are used?
X:: Sure. In interview questions.
I: What?
X: The only time linked lists come up is in interview questions.
I:: That’s not true. They have lots of real world applications. Like, like…. (fumbles)
X:: Like to implement memory allocation in operating systems. But you don’t sell operating systems, do you?
I:: Well… moving on. Do you know what the Big O notation is?
X: Sure. It’s another thing used only in interviews.
I: What?! Not true at all. What if you want to sort a billion records a minute, like Google has to?
X: But you are not Google, are you? You are hiring me to work with 5 year old PHP code, and most of the tasks will be hacking HTML/CSS. Why don’t you ask me something I will actually be doing?
I: (Getting a bit frustrated) Fine. How would you do FooBar in version X of PHP?
X: I would, er, Google that.
I: And how do you call library ABC in PHP?
X: Google?
I: (shocked) OMG. You mean you don’t remember all the 97 million PHP functions, and have to actually Google stuff? What if the Internet goes down?
X: Does it? We’re in the 1st world, aren’t we?
I: Tut, tut. Kids these days. Anyway,looking at your resume, we need at least 7 years of ReactJS. You don’t have that.
X: That’s great, because React came out last year.
I: Excuses, excuses. Let’s ask some lateral thinking questions. How would you go about finding how many piano tuners there are in San Francisco?
X: 37.
I: What?!
X: 37. I googled before coming here. Also Googled other puzzle questions. You can fit 7,895,345 balls in a Boeing 747. Manholes covers are round because that is the shape that won’t fall in. You ask the guard what the other guard would say. You then take the fox across the bridge first, and eat the chicken. As for how to move Mount Fuji, you tell it a sad story.
I: Ooooooooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyy. Right, tell me a bit about yourself.
X: Everything is there in the resume.
I: I mean other than that. What sort of a person are you? What are your hobbies?
X: Japanese culture.
I: Interesting. What specifically?
X: Hentai.
I: What’s hentai?
X: It’s an televised art form.
I: Ok. Now, can you give me an example of a time when you were really challenged?
X: Well, just the other day, a few pennies from my pocket fell behind the sofa. Took me an hour to take them out. Boy was it challenging.
I: I meant technical challenge.
X: I once spent 10 hours installing Windows 10 on a Mac.
I: Why did you do that?
X: I had nothing better to do.
I: Why did you decide to apply to us?
X: The voices in my head told me.
I: What?
X: You advertised a job, so I applied.
I: And why do you want to change your job?
X: Money, baby!
I: (shocked)
X: I mean, I am looking for more lateral changes in a fast moving cloud connected social media agile web 2.0 company.
I: Great. That’s the answer we were looking for. What do you feel about constant overtime?
X: I don’t know. What do you feel about overtime pay?
I: What is your biggest weakness?
X: Kryptonite. Also, ice cream.
I: What are your salary expectations?
X: A million dollars a year, three months paid vacation on the beach, stock options, the lot. Failing that, whatever you have.
I: Great. Any questions for me?
X: No.
I: No? You are supposed to ask me a question, to impress me with your knowledge. I’ll ask you one. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
X: Doing your job, minus the stupid questions.
I: Get out. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
All Credit to:
http://pythonforengineers.com/the-p...61 -
*Client calles me at 7Am*
Client: why did you make everything smaller on my website ?
Me: look at the right side of your URL bar, do you see a minus sign ?
Client: yah, so ?
Me: click on it and set it back to default.
Client: oh ok this is working for me now, will this fix apply globally across the internet
Me: ...
Client: oh I think I asked a stupid question, thanks mate have a good day.
Me: you're welcome...17 -
This was during the first day of my first real dev job, straight out of college. I didn’t have have much experience with version control since I did mostly solo projects in college, and I wasn’t exposed to SVN or Git in school at all.
One of the senior devs was going to give me and another new guy a brief overview of the codebase. He sets us up with the GitHub repo for the codebase and tells us to clone the codebase locally. I didn’t really know what this meant but I felt kind of embarrassed to ask, so I just clicked “download as zip” on The GitHub repo.
After a minute he saw what I had done and was like “yeah, that’s not what you want to do” and showed me how to clone it. I was kind of embarrassed but I learned Git pretty quickly after that.
I don’t really have a moral to this story except that “no question is a stupid one” is much easier said than done for many people, and it can be embarrassing to ask certain questions sometimes.11 -
FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me35
-
Sister: *walks into my room* Hey, my phone turned off.
Me inside: WELL TURN IT BACK ON FOR FUCKS SAKE!
Actual me: Ok
*2 mins later
Sister: It seems like the battery has drained.
Me inside: WELL FUCKING CHARGE IT THEN!
Actual me: Ok.
Sister: *walks out of my room*
Please, family members, stop wasting my time with these stupid fucking "problems" you have. All you need is common fucking sense to fix them.10 -
Woken up early by a WhatsApp message, classmate asked a stupid bash scripting question. Replied with profanity and foul language.
Turns out it was the official chat group with faculty and everyone. FML7 -
Saturday late night wisdom.
Software developers you need to work on communication skills.
Everytime LinkedIn says need a problem solver. It means a guy who can understand what non technical guy is asking for and translate that to a software or at least come up with a example of why he is wrong. Explain them. They are not dumb fellows for asking that feature. You might think the feature is stupid. Don't assume this. Sit with them. Understand thier user flow, understand the frustration your software is causing them. Then you'll see why are asking for that X feature.
Every feature request made is basically my opportunity of understanding of product. Don't wait for users to tell you requirements. Understand and suggest, implement prototypes and show them, a causal question such as "Hey would you think providing a keyboard shortcut for this submission is great?"
Understand our job is not just to write software.
Our job is to solve thier problems using software knowledge.
Don't you agree ?6 -
I really, really hate it when someone has a problem/question, and I really dedicate my heart and soul to write a really good answer that even a stupid person would understand - with drawing, explanations and shit. And they answer is just:
"Thanks"
"Ok"
"I dont get it"
"Can you please do it"
"you spelled that wrong"13 -
TL;DR: The bitch ruined my Friday.
I was in a really happy mood when I arrived at office in the morning today, because Friday.
I was assigned a stupid production error to test. Being a proactive person, I completed the task only to get more on my plate.
Why? Because fuck me that's why!!! All of my main task was aside throughout the day which has been pending since ages. The loser I work for, never allocates time for my main task and end of the day, yells at me that my task is pending.
Fuck the cock sucker because he is sucks at work delegation.
So, when the next stupid task was allocated, after analysing the entire scene, I realised this is something which I have never worked on and have absolutely no clue about. Rather this should be assigned to that team member who has already worked on it, because they'll be able to complete it efficiently.
But this bitch, forced me to do the task and the said team member roamed around having gala time. This pissed the shit out of me.
Anyway, I tried to take up the challenge and asked for some help from the said bitch, who denied completely, asking me to refer the documentation which was written like shit of a rat.
I somehow managed to make my way through it but ended up failing countless time.
I seek the bitch again for some help. This time I made it clear that I am unable to complete the task and I am finding it difficult without any help.
The dick sucker guides me half way, asks hundreds of demoralising questions, making me question my self esteem and confidence.
I keep my calm but that asshole keeps demeaning my actions and now I loose shit.
I start behaving rudely and back answering slowly. The dumb bitch doesn't get the hint (we talk over chat as she is in another location).
I told myself to stop working until she helps me and called the day off. She never cared to revert and now the task is pending which will be discussed again on Monday.
She refused to listen at any cost. And that's where I realised that Narcissistic Dogmatic Hypocrites are worst people to work for.
Just wish me luck that I don't break her jaw and finish the task without creating a scene.
Such people should be fucked by a wild boar in their ass and be made to suck a donkey's dick.
Ruined my Friday.26 -
Disclaimer: non dev related.
So I went to a festival today. What is the most stupid question you can ask at a festival?
And the winner is
And the winner is...
'why are you sweating?'
THE WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?!?
DETAIL ONE: I'M AT A FUCKING FESTIVAL
DETAIL TWO: I'M DANCING MY ASS OFF
DETAIL TWO: EVERYONE IS MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUUUUUCK DANCING.
Mother of god, stupidity knows no fucking boundries 😲20 -
Back in my teenage , a friend of mine asked me «Can you make me a software that guesses the result of a football match ?» I said «Sure, but you have to tell me how to calculate the chances of a team»
«Yeah, use the previous performances in the league»
«Ok, but you have to tell me how to calculate the expected result using previous performances» He laughed at me and said «If i knew how to calculate chances of winning/losing, i would not need a software!»
I tried to explain it simply «Computers can execute basic operations like sums or subtractions, and they know how to follow a list of basic instructions to give you a result»
He looked me like «If computers are so stupid like you are telling me now, are we all crazy idiots trying to learn how to use stupid machines??» and stated that i obviously misunderstood the real power of a computer. I walked back home thinking how funny was my friend believing in some kind of magic inside box called pc.
Few years later, i start studying IT at university. In the free time i look for small jobs like website development, small office network setup, pcs repair.
I continue noticing people believing that pcs knows what to do and how to do it.
«You sure I lost my data ? No i didn't do a backup. You sure my pc didn't do a backup ? No i hadn't a backup software»
«Why antivirus asks me what to do with the viruses it found. It should delete them obviously! Change my antivirus, it's too stupid for my pc»
«I want more people finding my business thanks to my website. How I imagine my website ? Yeah it has to be cool and full of cool stuff»
All that boring stories leads to my final question :
is our job dealing with persons who think we are some kind of wizard, well learned about dominating the pc magic ?
Please answer no.Please.15 -
Once upon a time in Devland, there were two best friends @Alice and @Michelle and they worked together at The DevCo company as developers.
After a tough day handling an @-ANGRY-CLIENT-, they thought that they had to go and @RantSomewhere and so they went to a café. At the café, they ranted about some stupid clients, and @theItalianGuy at the third floor of their office building who never picked up calls, and @thatJavaGuy from the second floor who, they thought, was @notarealDev, and the usual stuff about their work. Somewhere in between, @Alice thought it would be @funvengeance to @hack @theNSA; “@karma is coming to get them”, said @Michelle.
To do this, they knew they’d have to take help from none other than @Gandalf who lived in a nearby @cave. So, the next day, taking a leave from work, @Alice and @Michelle embarked on journey to meet @Gandalf. After about an hour’s drive, they reached @Gandalf’s @cave. @Michelle went ahead to knock on @Gandalf’s rusty cave door. Being a lazy @necromancer, he magically opened his door 2 minutes later. “Who is't dares to disturb me in mine own catch but a wink?” shouted a voice from the back; “We’re two developers from DevCo and we need your help in our mission to @hack @theNSA”, shouted @Michelle. After a few seconds, he replied, ”Hmm… N'rmally I wouldst sendeth thee to mine own cousin @Hagrid, but in thy case, I sayeth thee shouldst visiteth the detective who is't goeth by the nameth @S-Holmes”. @Alice replied back, “Thank you, Sir @Gandalf, we’ll get help from this @S-Holmes, I’ve heard that he’s an @exceptionalGuy”; “Mine own pleasure, Farewell!” said @Gandalf, and the door closed shut.
So, @Alice and @Michelle went back to their car, and that time @Alice raised a question, “How are we gonna find this @S-Holmes? We don’t have a phone number or anything so we could contact this guy.”
“We should call @thatJavaGuy from work, I’ve heard he is a man of resources, he must know how to contact @S-Holmes”, said @Michelle.
And it was true, after a call with @thatJavaGuy, they were able to obtain @S-Holmes’s phone number.
“Howdy, this is @S-Holmes, what can I diddily ding dong do you for?”
“Hi, I’m @Alice, I’m from DevCo and I was hoping that I could get your help in our mission.”
“What kind of mission?”, asked @S-Holmes.
“We want to @hack @theNSA.”, replied @Alice.
“Okay… I think I might be able to hel-diddly-elp you! There’s an old and abandoned laberino noodly-near @stacked Street. It was made in @1989 and since then, it houses a magical computeroo that can hel-diddly-elp you in your mission. So, you just have to connect the computeroo to the Internet and you can diddily ding dong do your programmeroo thing and then you'll have access to the the noodly-nsa diddily ding dong database!”, answered @S-Holmes.
S-Holmes continued, “But I shall warn you, there's a riddly-rumorino that the laberino was abandoned because of an @electric-ghost that lurks there, but I bel-diddly-elieve it is just a computeroo program that was diddily ding dong designed to try to @stop hackers from accessing the top secret stuff!".
“Okay, thanks for your help! I bet we can handle whatever this @electric-ghost thing is, so… Goodbye!”, replied @Alice.
“Goodbye!”, said @S-Holmes and that ended their conversation.
Luckily, the @stacked Street was just a couple of miles away from them, so they reached the lab quickly.
As they got close to the lab they saw something that really surprised them…
--------
To be continued in part two...
(Do you want a part two? :/)
My first ever story is a little special because it is kind of dev related at it has "cameos" by various devranters, as you might have noticed.
How many did you count?
More in Part Two.
Thank you for reading and please, any feedback is welcome. Did you like it?
I haven't really revised it once, it is straight out of the keyboard.
Should I drop the "@" ?
But then it would impossible to spot some of the devRanters .
Let me know.
PS
What should be the title?
1)Alice in DevLand?
2)Adventures of Alice and Friends: Hacking the NSA?
You decide..(or maybe I'll pick the second one :D)21 -
Worst interview rejection? I've had two bad ones.
Interviewed at a local software company. Was 10/10. Nailed everything. CEO said he wanted to hire me and would call next week.
Fucking ghosted me. Found out later that my boss' cousin worked there... Oops...
On the bright side I got a 10% raise and immediately shipped off to conference that happened to take place at Disneyland plus the option to bring my family, so I couldn't really be too pissed. :)
The one that pissed me off though was a netadmin interview in Portland. I fucking nailed the phone screening. Like, "How does DHCP work?", so I gave a breakdown at the protocol level, he stopped me half way and said "It gives computers addresses" was all he really needed. Above and beyond answers on every screening question. My resume is a perfect fit for the posted position.
Interview is 4 guys who want me to fucking whitebox a small business server down to picking the RAID controllers and disk models.
Number one, what kind of cheapass piece of shit fucking parts out a mission critical business server with no warranty and no redundancy? They need like 3 VMs you tards. Fucking host it right instead of shoving a Frankenstein piece-of-shit in some leaky closet.
Number two, why the flying fuck was there not a single mention of server hardware on the posting or during the screening? I don't know that shit! One question or mention would've saved everyone a ton of time.
But most of all, Number 3:
WHAT KIND OF FUCKTARD SPECS OUT A MOTHERFUCKING EXCHANGE SERVER FOR A 20 PERSON OFFICE? BITCH USE OFFICE 365 IT'S 20 FUCKING PEOPLE MY FUCKING GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR STUPID ASS?
Apparently "use O365 or Google Apps" was the wrong answer. Which is when I realized they were money grubbing filth and I didn't want to work for them anyway. Fuck that.1 -
GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT
I WILL FUCKIN KICK YOU ON YOUR FUCKING THROAT.
Programming Languages and Linux groups in facebook are a fuckin pain to watch.
Some people make groups so all can benefit and help each other, talk about mutual interests, BUT NO SOME FUCKERS WILL SPAM SHIT AND MAKE YOU WANNA SMACK THEIR FUCKIN HEAD.
THERE IS A FUCKIN FAQ SECTION THAT ANSWERS ALL THE FUCKIN NEWBIE QUESTIONS. WHY THE FUCKIN HELL YOU SPAM IF YOU HAVE NO FUCKIN CLUE WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE DOING?
You come to a python group and ask if it's possible to get context from a site. I'M NOT MENTIONING THE FUCKIN FACT THAT THIS IS A SIMPLY FUCKIN QUERY TO A SEARCH ENGINE ALSO IT'S MENTIONED IN THE FUCKIN FAQ. Let's move on. We tell you yes, there is BeautifulSoup for that. After 5 fuckin mins YOU COME AND MAKE A NEW POST THAT SHOWS YOU CANT FUCKIN ITERATE A GODDAMN FUCKIN LIST. I'm not pro either, i don't forbid you to learn, BUT FUCKIN LEARN THE BASICS THAT ARE PROVIDED TO YOU FROM GREAT FUCKIN RESOURCES BEFORE TRYING TO ATTEMPT SOMETHING MORE COMPLICATED. AND IF YOU NEED HELP PROVIDE CODE THAT WE CAN USE. NOT A FUCKIN PHOTOGRAPH FROM YOUR MOBILE
Let's go on the Linux groups.
SINCE YOU FUCKIN JOIN A LINUX GROUP YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS LINUX. IT'S A FUCKIN OPERATING SYSTEM RIGHT?
Then you spam shit like, UBUNTU OR MINT 5 MINUTES AFTER SOMEONE ELSE MADE THE SAME VERY QUESTION 30 MINS AGO. WHICH WAS ANSWERED AGAIN YESTERDAY.
"What are the benefits of Linux". NONE YOU TWAT, IF YOU NEED ME TO TELL YOU THE BENEFITS OF THE SYSTEM THAT YOU USE THEN WHY THE HELL YOU BOTHER.
Next.
You say you have problems setting up XAMPP. We tell you that since you are on linux better use LAMP. You ignore us and spam your fuckin problem with XAMPP. IM GONNA FIND YOU AND IM GONNA MAKE YOU CHEW MY FUCKIN SHOES YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
I'm not even mentioning the kali wannabe hackers.
Conclusion:
DO A FUCKIN SMALL RESEARCH BEFORE SPAMMING THE SHIT OUT OF STUPID FUCKIN QUESTIONS. AND IF YOU CANT EVEN SEARCH, LEARN TO ASK IN ENGLISH THAT IS FUCKIN UNDERSTANDABLE SO SOMEONE CAN GUIDE YOU ABOUT WHAT YOU SHOULD SEARCH
OH FUCKIN GAWD IM GONNA THROW MY LAPTOP OUT OF THE WINDOW10 -
**A programmer goes for interview in Stack Overflow...**
**Enters in the room..**
Interviewer: "Why are you ideal for this job??"
Programmer: "That's a stupid question..!"
Interviewer: "Welcome to Stack Overflow..."
😂😂😂😂😂8 -
I'm upset. I got banned by StackOverflow because of the questions I've asked recently.
I've worked very hard on my account, getting myself up to 293 points over quite a few months.
And then they just toss me overboard because of the reception of a few questions that I've asked recently.
I deleted the question, re-edited it, and tried so hard to get myself out of the ban. And then I come back and here I am, completely banned. It's so fucking shitty.
What's even the point? I feel that most of the time the community spends more time downvoting instead of upvoting?
How can I even compete? I'm trying to get help, not feel invalidated and smashed by a stupid point system.
I'm just going to go sit in a corner and cry now because clearly, my questions are worth more than the points I've garnered.
20 -
Lord forgive me for laughing too hard at this person/situation... I kid you NOT!
So today while everything was going well, we suddenly had network issues at work. We worked to get everything back up online asap and then sent out an email for those affected to either restart their machines or refresh their desktops but we recommend restarting... After some few client calls, this special call came in..
Riiing, riiiiiing, ring....
Me: hi, how can help you?
Client: *laughing.. This is probably a stupid question but I forgot how to "refresh" my desk top..the thing is, I have Febreeze but I don't think that's for desk tops.
Me: Wait, what? 🤔 Febreeze for what?😕
Client: You guys sent an email to refresh our desk tops and I said I have Febreeze so how will that get my things in the computer back to show again?
Me: Ohhh, no no. We meant your computer desktop. You don't need Febreeze. Right click anywhere on your computer in the screen and select refresh from the pop up menu. We meant your computer "desktop" not your actual "desk top".
Client: *starts laughing...I told you it was a stupid question
Me: don't worry.. It wasn't stupid.
After I hang up, some of my team members asked me why someone is asking about Febreeze...I told them and they all started laughing hysterically
I was still trying to digest the conversation I had just have on the phone. 😂😂😂12 -
Stack Overflow. Everyone uses it but everyone seems to hate the community. I very often read about someone getting down voted and they all say the same thing - "I have no idea why".
I have spent a lot of time moderating SO posts, which gave me a lot of reputation and medals. I find it fun to help people and it feels good to give back to the community.
I have asked a bunch of questions and I've never gotten a single down vote, which leads me to believe everyone of you that is constantly getting down voted are doing something wrong. Because the posts I see getting down voted are fucking stupid questions that either lack information or contain too much information.
Example 1:
Server java error
Why is my server not working? I am using Tomcat, port 8080 and I'm getting IOException.
Example 2:
Webpack configuration not working
My webpack is not a working, why?
[entire webpack config]
End examples.
What the fuck are you expecting asking questions like these?? No one gets paid for answering your questions, so the least you can do is write a CLEAR AND UNDERSTANDABLE question. I'm not gonna tell you how to do it because there's A LOT of information on how to do it.
People devote hours and hours to helping others on SO, and of course they get fed up with the stupid and lazy questions. That community is not about being nice, it's not about making people feel welcomed, it's about QUALITY OF CONTENT. No one is crying when they find a superb question + answer, right? That's the result of a community not accepting low quality content.
So please, the next time you get a down vote on SO - do not come here whining about it but instead take a look at what you have posted there and ask yourself if it could have held a higher quality.
Thanks!9 -
When someone asks me a stupid question,
I always answer:
You have the Knowledge of the Entire world and human race in your pocket,
FUCKING USE IT! DONT ASK ME! GOOGLE IT! BING IT! WHATEVER! JUST DONT ASK ME!2 -
So I had a fun week.
It started off with my boss replying to a co-workers email where he sent his new bank account, saying he doesn't need it untill we close off some baddly planned projects, meaning no paycheck.
Needless to say we were working night and days including weekends on it and put our best into it.
For the next part I need to explain a little background. We have this old legacy system I'm working with for the past 3 years. I keet raising the red flag we need a new one. Nothing happened. So every time I worked with it I kept thinking how to improve the parts. Almost two years went into thinking and planning the new system untill I got a green light. It was most satisfying - the day I got to build something good and awesome. I drew all the data structures, laid out the foundations and started building ontop of it. It was amazing and I was really proud of it. Then suddendly client wanted to see something and the decision was made we threw it together quickly with the old legacy system. It was on hold 'till then due to work overload.
Boss wrote me this week if I can put the project from git on a server, where he out sourced the completition into India where they will finish it. On thr question if they can't work on git, he replied: "should they?" -.-
To top it all up, I got a notice at the end of the week if I don't fill his shit time tracking system (that takes me one hour/day to insert all entries) by monday he'll deduct a sizable portion of my paycheck.
I AM WORKING FOR YOU ALL THE FUCKING TIME BECAUSE YOU LACK RESOURCES AND I THOUGHT A TEAM STICKS TOGETHER AND SAVES EACH OTHERS ASS! I DONT HAVE TIME TO ENTER YOUR FUCKING STUPID TIME ENTRIES IN YOUR FUCKING BUGGED SYSTEM EACH DAY ON TASKS THAT DON'T EVEN EXIST BITCH! MAKE IT BETTER FIRST!! OH! AND NO ONE IS MORE QUALIFIED TO FINISH THAT PROJECT THAN ME, I POURED MY FUCKING HEART INTO IT YOU PRICK!
woah.5 -
I am DONE with this woman CONTINUED!
I didn't think I'd have to put another rant about this stupidity at least not this soon but she just keeps on giving!
I have my noise canceling headphones on most of the time and when I want to hear the people around, I just put the right earcup of it to the side of my ear so the music pauses. Today we had a huge disrupt on our services because of a network switch error on the hub. I was also trying to focus on my coding as I didn't wanna do a stupid mistake on the last working day and be sorry about it in the next week.
So this woman sneaks up on me from behind calling my name - meaning she has a question, surprise! -, I say 'yes' moving my head to her side ever so slightly without getting my eyes off of my screen stating subtly that I'm also listening to her while trying to focus on my shit. She starts yelling at me 'look at me!' out of nowhere! I turn my head and ask what the problem is and she asks why I'm not looking at her face! Stupid moron, I might not be too good in understanding your way of communication but you are the one asking so you WILL wait if you'd like to hear answers.
I say I'm working on something and her answer is again 'Why aren't you looking at my face it's going to be quick bla bla did we do this like that?' and I answered I didn't remember because there's no way I'd ever remember without looking further and it was no lie.
This woman clearly has stability issues and everyone else seem to be tolerating it. It's now obvious as I'm not tolerating the nonsense I'll be the one that 'she only has ever had a problem with'.
I was quick to de escalate the situation but now I'm thinking maybe I should've responded in a way that she could understand. I wouldn't ever give a shit about it but this is getting ridiculous.21 -
Once on my old job I had several ssh sessions and I was running some tests where I frequently restarted the application... Until I entered the restart command in the terminal of the production system and shutdown the whole application. - Still gives me the creeps today, was just lucky the customer was in a break and we could remotely restart it, so probably nobody even noticed.
Now today I run a "rm -rf *" on a folder that is supposed to be local, but after some time I get suspicious because it is taking too long.. Only to discover that the mount point of the remote resource points to my "local copy". Shit.
What is next? The "delete from ...;" without where clause? Fuck, aren't you supposed to get more experienced and cautious?4 -
Created my first stack overflow post for an issue I'm having. Now I wait to be told my question is stupid.14
-
So, I'm using a new MacBook Air (running Sierra), and while I'm still getting used to it (especially the different Sublime hotkeys), overall it really is quite wonderful. I particularly love the magic touchpad and ease of scrolling/swiping between desktops.
However, I ran into an issue this morning that gave me pause: apparent file caching.
My webpack setup auto-compiles my project when files change, and I noticed something was causing errors -- not really surprising since I was in the middle of fixing the project last night. However, the error it displayed wasn't something I was expecting, and referenced a line I was positive I had removed several hours before calling it a night. Whatever, I was probably mistaken, so I went to remove it.
... It wasn't there.
I double checked that I was looking at the right file. Yep, src/styles/header.scss -- that's the correct file. Figuring webpack was acting up, I killed and restarted it.
Same error.
So whatever, maybe Sublime cached it. Rather unexpected, but possible, and I am on a mac now... so maybe. So, I closed the file and reopened it. The line wasn't there. I did this twice more. It STILL wasn't there. Maybe I'm going crazy...? I checked the file with cat. The line was there. I checked with vim. The line was still there.
OKAY. I've seen a lot of people with beef with Sublime, and I often defended it. but maybe they're actually right. maybe Sublime really isn't the way to go. :( So, I killed and reopened Sublime, and I checked the file again.
The line STILL ISN'T THERE.
Maybe I'm going crazy? I double, triple, quadruple checked the path. all correct.
Alright; let's try again and make sure I do it properly. I closed everything I had open in sublime (two projects), and quit. I reopened Sublime, navigated to the correct path, and reopened the file...
The offending line STILL wasn't there.
I'm angry at this point and just mash the keyboard. I save the resulting garbage, and cat the file again. No visible changes.
KAJSFLK STUPID PIECE OF <redacted>
okay, whatever. Reboots fix everything, right? So I reboot, and keep the option to re-open everything again ticked.
The terminal comes back up, along with half(?) my browsers, but Sublime doesn't. grrrrrrr.
so I cat the damn thing.
GUESS WHAT.
THE GARBAGE IS THERE.
Sublime was doing its job. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE FAILED.
(Oh Sublime, why did I ever question you? 💚)
... but seriously, what the fuck could have caused that? Was the OS caching the file for some programs, but not others? Now I'm questioning the macbook...25 -
I like paradoxes, I created one with multiple choice questions.
"Some stupid question" ?
A) answer 1
B) answer 2
C) None of the above
D) All of the above (paradox)
#killingtime8 -
Asked a question on SO, realized the answer before getting any help, came back to the question just to see it was down-voted to oblivion because indeed it was very stupid.9
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Using a copyrighted image on a website not knowing it was copyrighted. That was stupid and humbling. So caught up in the roots lost sight of the leaves.
Lesson learned: Assume nothing, question everything.2 -
At lunch, someone asked a question about our Sunday Hack-a-thon. Our PO said it was a "Smack-a-thon." I told her, "No, don't make stupid names. Let's call things what they are. It's Management Failure Sunday." Manager was sitting across the table when I said it.4
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EEEEEEEEEEEE Some fAcking languages!! Actually barfs while using this trashdump!
The gist: new job, position required adv C# knowledge (like f yea, one of my fav languages), we are working with RPA (using software robots to automate stuff), and we are using some new robot still in beta phase, but robot has its own prog lang.
The problem:
- this language is kind of like ASM (i think so, I'm venting here, it's ASM OK), with syntax that burns your eyes
- no function return values, but I can live with that, at least they have some sort of functions
- emojies for identifiers (like php's $var, but they only aim for shitty features so you use a heart.. ♥var)
- only jump and jumpif for control flow
- no foopin variable scopes at all (if you run multiple scripts at the same time they even share variables *pukes*)
- weird alt characters everywhere. define strings with regular quotes? nah let's be [some mental illness] and use prime quotes (‴ U+2034), and like ⟦ ⟧ for array indexing, but only sometimes!
- super slow interpreter, ex a regular loop to count to 10 (using jumps because yea no actual loops) takes more than 20 seconds to execute, approx 700ms to run 1 code row.
- it supports c# snippets (defined with these stupid characters: ⊂ ⊃) and I guess that's the only c# I get to write with this job :^}
- on top of that, outdated documentation, because yea it's beta, but so crappin tedious with this trail n error to check how every feature works
The question: why in the living fartfaces yolk would you even make a new language when it's so easy nowadays to embed compilers!?! the robot is apparently made in c#, so it should be no funcking problem at all to add a damn lua compiler or something. having a tcp api would even be easier got dammit!!! And what in the world made our company think this robot was a plausible choice?! Did they do a full fubbing analysis of the different software robots out there and accidentally sorted by ease of use in reverse order?? 'cause that's the only explanation i can imagine
Frillin stupid shitpile of a language!!! AAAAAHHH
see the attached screenshot of production code we've developed at the company for reference.
Disclaimer: I do not stand responsible for any eventual headaches or gauged eyes caused by the named image.
(for those interested, the robot is G1ANT.Robot, https://beta.g1ant.com/)
4 -
More of a question than a rant. What to do regarding programming.
I'm self taught, php, c, c#, and I make stupid little programs that make my life easier as a sys admin.
I want to ask, how do I take things further? Where I'm from, it's really hard to get a job as a programmer without 5 years experience and knowledge in 5 other languages.
Do I try and make bigger apps to showcase myself and hope someone finds me, or what do I do in this instance. I'm not a fully fledged coder, but I'm comfortable and if I don't know something i learn it pretty quickly.
Is there a way that you get a job, even as a junior? Or is it pure luck?
10 -
Things like this make me feel good about myself. Update: moments after taking this picture, he took it down. Have any of you ever asked a stupid question like that? And, well, how did you know you when you got "good" at programming?
9 -
I used to work for a Mexican bank in Mexico, as a developer I opened (and use) an account, since the bank was not famous(most of its business was with the government), going to the bank and see no waiting lines was an advantage, so I started using it as my only bank account even nowadays.
Now I live in NYC, and some years later I see on the news the bank merged(was absorbed) with another bank, 'sounds good, I don't care' I thought.
Well, I open my online account and the nightmare begins:
1) Redirection to the 2nd bank page
2) My credentials does not work
3) Call the original bank(no answers)
4) After several calls and days I got a phone contact
5) 'well, try all other passwords you have' (transaction passwords, operative passwords, login passwords, etc), among many other stupid answers, which by the way, were preceded by infinite question about the 2nd bank, like:
- when did you open the account with the 2nd bank?
- what is your 2nd bank account number
6) after 20 calls like that, they asked for documents, information and screenshots, and send all that to the 2nd bank tech help email.
7) After several days a person responded: 'Go to your bank(which fucking bank?)' and ask for a new user.
8) a ton of calls to know what bank I was assigned
9) called the bank: 'well, you have to come in person(no exceptions allowed) and request to close your 1st bank account and open a 2nd bank account' (I am not sure if that is gonna work)
All the technology nowadays and still I have to travel thousands of miles hoping this 'solution' works.
to be continue....3 -
Stop asking which Linux distro is best. Seriously there is no "best" one. Arch is best FOR ME. Debian or Fedora might be your cup of tea. But I have great news for you, they are all FREE and there is free virtualization software you can try them on. Stop asking a stupid question that only gets opinionated answers and flame wars and go try them for yourself.
Also, while I'm on the topic. Ubuntu, Ubuntu Mate, Ubuntu XFCE etc. are all the same distro, they just have a different DE (desktop environment for you noobs). It's like on Monday I wear a suit but Tuesday I wear shorts and a tee shirt, it's still me, I'm just dressed differently.10 -
So I went with a friend to a printing company today and asked this gem: "so , will you print the white too?"
Before he answered I realized my momentary retardness and said: "wtf, what a stupid question."
I think I need some rest 😂😂2 -
So I know most of you got some kind of hate for Facebook and Zuckerberg (aka Z U C C) now, but ffs, watching some of the highlights of this congress-thing that went on makes me more or less feel sympathy for him and his idea, even tho I know he wants to achieve exactly this.
Some of the questions asked can suck a big fucken data-dick. "How many Facebook Like-Buttons are there on Non-Facebook pages?", "How many data-categories do you gather?", "How do you sustain a business model and stay free?" - DUDE WHAT IN HEAVENS NAME?? And they ask that shit so serious and so "now-i'm-going-to-bust-you"-esk, but actually the question is just plain stupid and shows how the questioning side has no clue about the shit.
My point of view is that people decided to have an online life and have to take what it does. Having a smartphone with a Facebook service installed (owning an account or not) is enough to track your location, stored under your IMEI or some shit like that. They may not even go that far but that's just my opinion.
If you are online everything can see you and use you that way. Borders are a fictious thing. A dude in Czechia can easily shoot you when you're on the German side of the border between those two countries. And still we gave up on walls...:p
Welcome to a world which is ruled by dumbass people where nerds who just want to have some fun need to defend themselves because the people up there don't know a single shit.6 -
xroad's rule for downvoting:
If you just reposted something in the span of a few hours or less I will downvote it.
If your rant starts with "there are 10 kinds of people in the world" my thumb will hit the -- button faster than an intern will ask a stupid question.3 -
At one of my former jobs, we devs had to do all sorts of non-dev work, such as writing quotes and even contracts!
The CEO of that company had this naughty habit to contact devs directly without delegating through the CIO. Sure, if it's really urgent like when some system is down because of a bug, go ahead and disturb a dev. But interrupting coders to write some freaking quote? Come on!...
Once, that CEO asked me to stop everything I was doing to write a quote to a customer ASAP, as this was really urgent.
I spent several hours writing that quote. It had to be done right as any specifications in our quotes were used in our agreeements and were referred to in the case of any dispute. So not only were we devs and salesmen in the same time; we also needed to be lawyers.
When I was done and delivered the quote to the CEO, he told me he had no intention to take on that customer in the first place. Instead, he wrote a polite we-are-not-interested e-mail to the customer and cc:d it to me just so that I could read for myself how very sleek a businessman he was.
Me: why did I have to write that quote when you knew all along that you were not going to use it anyway?
Him: It's for your own personal development.
Another naughty habit of that same CEO is that he made "jokes" and remarks that I found inappropriate, such as "You walk like a drunken sailor".
Later, he decided to discontinue our team/product because "it isn't proftable". Well, what do you expect when devs are forced to waste half day completing pointless tasks?!
It was for the better anyway, and I was actually relieved when I left the company. I'm still thinking though, that the real reason he sacked me is that I am too honest and not the docile kind of employee that would be ideal for him. I did question some of my tasks, and worst of all: I didn't laugh at his stupid jokes.1 -
Ok thats enaugh.
Some people are still so fucking stupid to ask the same question on XDA and on my thread 15 fucking times.
When you will release it ??
Just wait.
2 days later.
When will you release it ??
Waiiiitttt.
And so on.
Until i got to this point.
I fucking swear if i see some stupid question on my fucking thread that has been answered and the user just cant search then he will get very rude response.
This needs to be done since my thread isnt the only one with those idiotic questions: when will it be done, how to root it (Literally in the main post is the answer).
Lot of devs on XDA agree.
I understand that they are new to it but for ffs search !!!!!!16 -
Does anyone want to take this stupid exam for me? I keep missing it on practice exams by 1 question. I'm sad. I know if i gave a damn about this material, i could do it. But i don't give a damn. It's required for my current position but I'm about to switch teams in a few months and will no longer need it.28
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Circa spring of last year, Computer Science 1
The guy sitting next to me asked me a clarifying question about what our professor was mumbling and scribbling illegibly on the board.
I start to respond, only for the professor to YELL at me in front of the class for helping him, saying that programming was a personal affair and that I should be minding myself.
He even yelled at me for helping someone that is "too stupid help themselves" and that I shouldn't worry if the person next to me doesn't get it.
I felt bad, the kid next to me felt bad, and I avoided a semester of computer science just to not have him again.2 -
I use a library and it gives me some strange error message. No problemo, just file an issue on GitHub asking the maintainer if I'm plain stupid or the lib actually has a flaw. As it was a question, I have not posted a dump and all the shit.
Maintainer responds with a snarky comment about his crystal ball being broken and I have to submit a log, a dump, debug information and a bunch of other stuff.
Well, what choice do I have, I collect all the requested information, create a wall of text comment, all nicely formatted.
And the issue ends here. Myths say, the maintainer got asked to join Elvis on Mars.
I mean, why do you ask all the shit from me in a unprofessional manner just to stop answering? Just say "I have no clue why it behaves like this" and I know whats playin. But that's just ... sad.6 -
As a freelancer I get side requests from bigger development companies from time to time that don't have the time or capacity to deal with it themselves.
So usually the employees are pretty friendly but they do not like to read any of the documentation I send with the code. They call me up with stupid questions that are usually answered in the documentation.
I had sent them everything they had requested last Thursday so they called me on Friday to ask the usual stupid question. However, this time I had beforehand decided to have some fun! I told them I had to leave for the weekend and to call me back on Monday. Of course they called me during the weekend, but I didn't answer. So they called me today.
What I had done before handing it all in was I had named the methods that I wrote illogically, while stating and explaining the whole situation in the documentation extra clearly.
So I answered the call today and the first thing they did was apologize. Since I didn't answer their calls during the weekend they finally realized that the best way to go is reading the documentation instead of calling me all the time. They were freaked out at first because they thought there was something completely wrong with the code and they had to tell their client that the deadline had to be pushed back.
We are all good now :)6 -
Not quite a interview question, but in a competition (I had build a compiler) the jury (they all told me they had all studied informatics) asked me what a compiler is... Not in a "lets try to catch him off manner" but rather in a "i am too stupid for this world manner" he asked me what a compiler was... And it got even worse: my compiler is based on linuxes utils (nasm+ld) the guy didnt know about linux. Assembler was much too much for him and when my compiler threw an error (I wanted to show them the error system) he told me I shouldnt present unfinished projects... Atleastthe other two were really nice and i still got 2nd place (behind a person who prorammed an Nxt thingy)7
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How much should I charge for a website and web app (PHP/MySQL)?
So, one my friend is starting his own business and he wants me to handle the online presense side of things. So, which means, for now, building a website (not much backend yet).
I have never done freelancing or contract based work. I currently work for a company where I work as a full stack PHP developer for over 6 months. I normally build the whole web app or site by myself. But, I don't know how much my boss bills the client for those apps or sites that I build.
Now, I am faced with this issue of working directly for a client. But I don't know how much should I charge for my service. I mean if I ask too much then my friend might think I am a prick. Also, he doesn't have much knowledge about what goes in making a site. for example, when he was talking to me about his business idea, he thought integrating a blog to his existing site is as simple as inserting a one line link to an already built blog or something.
So, it's gonna be harder for me to charge him for my service.
I know "How much does a website cost?" is a stupid question. But I still wanna have an idea about what I should be asking.
So, what do you guys think? how much should I ask for a responsive basic 5 page (or maybe single page, for now) website? Also, he wants this site to be scalable, meaning that he wants to later include a blog, contact us, chatbot, eCommerce etc. type of features in the future. Obviously, I am not gonna charge for them yet. For now, he just wants a landing page built.6 -
I keep wondering if there’s a case of someone stealing another’s rant. And what the other person would say to the thief.
“You stole my rant” or “That was suppose to be my rant” or something along that line.
😅6 -
Our new IT support college (I've been the support for like almost 2 years into the company and then I moved onto another project) asked me about how to configure a printer over LAN. I explained him the whole procedure and after he asked me what does the gateway IP means, I explained him that it's a router, switch or another device that know how to forward packets on to other networks and gave him an example like 192.168.100.1 and told him that usually is the router's/switch IP address and is the same IP address as the static IP of the printer but with .1 at the end instead of the last number set. After that he asked me: "Like this? 192.168.100.25.1?"3
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Rewrite of the sync api to REST.
Coworker: “hey, I know you’ve written and maintained our sync module for the past 4 years. Something I need to know? Some hints or knowledge you can share?”
Me: only thing you should not do is x and y. Otherwise you will face problems a and b.”
Coworker: “great, thanks a lot!”
2 months later...
Customer call: “da fuck are you doing? When I do stupid stuff then I face problem z and problem a!!!”
*me checking new code*
*me calling coworker*
Me: “WTF did you do? You asked for my advice and then did exactly what I told you NOT to do.”
Coworker: “oh, let me check the code..”
*coworker calls boss*
Coworker: “Boss, I can’t work with this guy, he starts fights all the time..”
*boss comes to my desk*
Boss: “I don’t want you to work on this anymore, people are complaining.”
Me: “what the fuck, I just asked him a question..”
~ 1 month later
coworker quits because he can’t handle all the bugs he caused and I have to maintain this piece of fucking retard code..3 -
Idea: automatic post category suggestion for devRant
This would solve the problem of people tagging their posts wrong, and other people complaining and whining about it. I have no idea how to actually implement this, but it would work something like this:
Rant: text with swear words, exclamation marks and words/ sentences typed in CAPS LOCK. Generally longer texts.
Joke/meme: short text/caption with image attached
Question: generally shorter post with question marks
Devrant: text with words like “feature suggestion”, “devRant”, @dfox @trogus” etc.
Random: everything that does not fall under any of the previous categories.
Before posting, the post would be analyzed and then sorted into a category. Then a check is performed whether or not the actually selected category matches the found one. If not, the poster is prompted with the correct category and can confirm whether he chose the wrong category or not. Would something like that work? Or is it just a stupid idea by an inexperienced young dude?12 -
It continually never ceases to amaze me how many people ask me a question without doing the proper research beforehand. For instance, "How far is the Earth from Jupiter?" How am I supposed to know that? The only thing I'm going to do is Google it and then tell you anyway. Stop asking me stupid questions that you can easily search yourself!9
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I think I did the stupidest mistake I could possibly do as a developer. Do I still have a chance?
For this question you'll need a bit of background info:
I'm a 17-year old student, developing mostly apps in my freetime. I code since 2011 so I hope to be able to say that I'm at least a bit experienced. I have once shown an app public earlier this year with mediocre interest. I spent the second half of 2017 developing another app as part of an extracurricular activity of my school. On 8th december I presented this new app public under the schools name. As I recall the interest was pretty high, especially when compared to the app in the first half of the year. As the event went on several people that watched my presentation approached me and asked where they could get the app. I said that it was still in development and that they could expect it to come out in early 2018 and I gave them my Twitter. I was super excited and that's where I think I did the worst mistake I could do.
A representative of a company approached me. They were interested in the App because it addresses a topic which is part of what they do. They asked how much I currently make with this app. I responded with "nothing" as it wasn't out yet. They wanted to know how to contact me and I didn't have a sheet of paper and a pen with me (mistake 1). I don't know why I did this, but told them to contact me through reaching out to my school (mistake 2) and said they would find a mail address on my schools homepage (mistake 3) without telling them what my schools name was (mistake 4). They still said that they were about to reach out and look forward to work together with me. They sounded really confident. We didn't have much time to talk but it still would have been enough to get a pan and some paper... 🤦
But I feel pretty stupid now.
I suppose they remembered at least my schools name as my project did stand out (I hope this doesn't sound too arrogant. An app was way over the top for an event like this) and my schools name was all over the place. But I still don't know if they'll ever contact me. At least I learnt from it. I now take a pen and paper with me all the time and I learnt to pitch my current app whenever I'm questioned about it.
I'd like to hear your opinion on that as I never was in a situation like that. Do I still have a chance that they'll contact me? Is it likely?
Thank you in advance. Have mercy if this text isn't error-free as english isn't my native language and I'm sleepy right now. I just wanted to drop this burden for once. 😅8 -
Tl:dr Guy acts like a moron and is useless in group tasks.
In my class there is this one guy, that I'll just call carl. Now Carl do some stuff that irritates me, but is harmless. Things like repeat the answer he get's every time he asks a question. I fucking hate it, but it's okay. He also says some pretty stupid stuff. Like today when he asked why Ubuntu started when he turned on a computer, the guy next to him simply said because it's installed while I facepalmed.
Carl does even worse things than that. I was asked to work with Carl on a group task.
Now I hate talking in front of people, so we decided that I would do the writing and he would speak to the rest of the class.
I made a word document containing what he had to say, but we also wanted a PowerPoint presentation to make it look better and so the other could get read the basics on what we we were presenting.
Carl decided that he could create the PowerPoint presentation, and I thought why not. The thing I didn't expect was that Carl would install Ubuntu on his laptop, without saving the presentation somewhere else. In other words HE FUCKING DELETED IT.
But it's fine he could just create it using a program that isn't PowerPoint. OH WAIT OF COURSE CARL FOUND A WAY TO TO FUCK THIS. The next time we had that subject he came without his laptop (we use our laptops in all our courses) because he managed to make it unusable, although he fixed it a few days later.
At that point I said fuck it and created the presentation myself.
At this point I didn't trust Carl with anything sharper than a spoon and decided, against our previous, plans to present it with him. Now I sent him the Word and PowerPoint documents so he would now what to say and what the class was going to see.
THIS GUY DECIDED TO JUST READ WORD FOR WORD OF THE POWERPOINT AKA NOT THE THING I ASKED HIM TO DO. So half the the time it was me going into slight detail about advertisement on the net and how people finding your company on google helps to sell products, AND THE OTHER WAS HIM SAYING A FEW WORDS. JESUS CHRIST, Carl basically didn't do shit yet he acted like he did. That's something that really makes me mad.2 -
On stackoverflow
*Someone asks a question, asking for a feature.
* I put some link of a library, with some words.
* the asker says it's helpful
* some other unrelated stupid moron downvoted my answer2 -
How many bits are in a nibble?
(nybble/nyble)
....I did not know, nor did I know what a nibble was...WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.....any takers?5 -
Every fucking day I'm asked some fucking stupid question that could have been easily figured if this fucker took 2 mins to look.
"Hey why isn't the issue closed with your commit message? Is it because the CI fail?"
No you dipshit. It's because it hasn't been merged into the master branch. And no the CI didn't fail. If you took 20 seconds to actually look into the pull request you'll see it passed.
God why? -
Question: What do you mean that you have a bachelor in computer science from college? What do you mean college?
Answer by me: Are you fucking stupid or something???? Give a fucking code test and I will saw you what college means... Little piece of shit!!!! And next time when you are searching for PHP developer do not ask for site development with WordPress experience you fucking noob!!!!4 -
I am in love.
I am in love with all the guys and girls working at Microchip support.
I am the kind of user that does not really understand what he's doing/what he wants to do, so I am constantly stuck in stupid configuration errors or looking for impossible solutions, yes I am THAT kind of a user...
Here is a PWM working, a support guy spent some minutes telling me that I have to connect to the right pin.
Ok, he had to tell me twice.😳
Thank you, it may have taken me days to find out this.
They does not know, but there is a HUGE amount of decreasing dumb question incoming 😈
Please be kind with me, and don't get mad when things will get serious, I will probably bring hell in your office, I am very sorry for that...
Still, thank you for helping the dumbest learner-by-mistake that doesn't know how to recognize a mistake.
I can't write this in the ticket system, I hope someone of you use devRant! (atsame54 office, I am talking with you!)
You are my stack overflow, and the project I will develop with your help is quite the only thing left before my graduate.
I will owe you so much beers, love you guys!!!
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I'm really not sure. When I was 7-8 years old, I liked to view source in IE, then I somehow managed to use Javascript in the browser. First only some dumb opening of windows. And I liked Batch, so I made some files for copying, backup and stuff.
Then I got to PHP during the years from some online tutorial about making dynamic websites. My website was more static than stone, but yeah, I did page loading with PHP! Awful experience anyway, because I had to install Xampp, get it work and other stuff. 11 years old or so. (and I used Xampp only as a fileserver between laptop and desktop later, because.. PHP4... just no.)
As 12 years old or so I experienced my first World of Warcraft (vanilla) on a custom server in an internet cafe and I thought it's a singleplayer game. When I found out that no, I googled how to make my own server (hated multiplayer back then and loved good games with huge storylines). Failed miserably with ManGOS, got something to work with ArcEMU. There I learned some C++ basic stuff, which I hoped would helped me to fix some bugs. When I opened the code I was like: "Suuure." and left it like that. I learned what a MySQL database is, broke it like four times when I forgot WHERE and still rather played with websites i.e. html, css, js and optionally php when I wanted to repair a webpage for the server. With a friend we managed to get the server work via Hamachi, was fun, the server died too soon. Then I got ManGOS to work, but there wasn't really any interest to make a server anymore, just singleplayer for the lore. (big warcraft fan, don't kick me :D )
I think it was when I was 13y.o. I went to Delphi/Pascal course, which I liked a lot from the beginning, even managed to use my code on old Knoppix via Lazarus(Pascal). At this age I really liked thoae Flash games which were still common to see everywhere. So I downloaded .swfs, opened and tried to understand it. Managed to pull some stuff from it and rewrite in Pascal. Nope, never again that crap.
About the same time I got to Flash files I discovered Java. It was kind of popular back then, so I thought let's give it a try. I liked Flash more. Seriously. I've never seen so much repetitiveness and stupid styling of a code. I had either IDE for compiling C++ or Pascal or notepad! You think I wanted my code kicked all over the place in multiple folders and files? No.
So back to Pascal. I made some apps for my old hobby, was quite satisfied with the result (quiz like app), but it still wasn't the thing. And I really thought I'd like to study CS.
I started to love PHP because of phpBB forums I worked on as 15 y.o. I guess. At the same time I think there was an optional subject at school, again with Pascal. I hated the subject, teacher spoke some kind of gibberish I didn't really understand back then at all and now I find it only as a really stupid explanation of loops and strings.
So I started to hate Pascal subject, but not really the lang itself. Still I wanted something simpler and more portable. Then I got to Python as hm, 17y.o. I think and at the same time to C++ with DevC++. That was time when I was still deciding which lang to choose as my main one (still playing with website, database and js).
Then I decided that learning language from some teacher in a class seriously pisses me off and I don't want to experience it again. I choose Python, but still made some little scripts in C++, which is funny, because Python was considered only as a scripting lang back then.
I haven't really find a cross-platform framework for C++, which would: a) be easy to install b) not require VisualStudio PayForMe 20xy c) have nice license if I managed to make something nice and distribute it. I found Unity3D though, so I played with Blender for models, Audacity for music and C# for code. Only beautiful memories with Unity. I still haven't thought I'm a programmer back then.
For Python however I found Kivy and I was playing with it on a phone for about a year. Still I haven't really know what to do back then, so I thought... I like math, numbers, coding, but I want to avoid studying physics. Economics here I go!
Now I'm in my third year at Uni, should be writing thesis, study hard and what I do? Code like never before, contribute, work on a 3D tutorial and play with Blender. Still I don't really think about myself as a programmer, rather hobby-coder.
So, to answer the question: how did I learn to program? Bashing to shit until it behaved like I desired i.e. try-fail learning. I wouldn't choose a different path.2 -
How to get answers on StackOverflow without getting attacked by ferocious developers:
1) Ask your question before 2012
2) Upload as many details as possible. (Send your entire PC by mail is reccomended)
3) Be as specific as possible. Just repeat your question indefinetly changing the wording a little bit.
4) Don't ask for code examples. If you ask stupid questions it's obvious you are an expert developer and know how to implement stuff... right?
Most importantly respond politely to all of these traditional stackoverflow answers:
"Did you at least google it?"
"You need to be more specific"
"We can't spoon feed you"
"You shouldn't do that thing that way, I personally prefere this way and nobody can change my mind"
"You don't have enough experience to do that thing, don't do it"8 -
I was asked a stupid question recently:
I was questioned to why I fix things.
Wtf? Why wouldn't you fix something that could be useful? Idiots
End Rant3 -
I worked a whole year in a company for which I produced 30 software and none of them saw the publication even though they were completed. I was the most productive employee and had a productivity of 428% compared with the other employees.
All because of the constant changes in business strategies.
For a moment I believed to be a pirate ship during a storm. When I was tired of the way they were treating employees, months of backlog payments, unpaid leave or not granted, I quit and I was told to me that I was a bad employee and I was unproductive.
In a month he is left only the designer working. At the moment the company in question is still looking for employees, after more than a year no one wanted to work again. Stupid me.
While I ras looking for another job I did freelance for a month, gaining about five times my earlier pay. -
Only questions I consider stupid are the ones that are permutations of an original question asked constantly from month to month. They should know the answer by now!
Asker: "Theres a bug. I cant log into this account"
Dev: "It's a different dev database, so use the password for that one" -
Recently I started coding a project for my school with two of my friends. The first one is a person which spends most of his time reading 4chan and joking about Pope, you know this kind of person. The second, Michael, is a really good partner for coding, he's just an opposite of Jedrzej, the first one. Jedrzej used to call people 'cancer' and this kind of sh**. Lately Michael said, that he's mother has breast cancer and he left our conversation on Facebook. Later I told Jedrzej, that he has to tell Michael 'sorry', but he wrote something stupid (doesn't matter what) and the situation only went wrong. At least I told them that they have to bury the hatchet and start working. The only problem here is that Michael and I made 99.7% of our project, Jedrzej only updated README and shared his VPS. I'm a full-stack dev, but our project is on laravel and I don't know what kind of sorcery is this framework so Michael does the back-end. My question to all of you who read this rant - what should I do with lazy Jedrzej?7
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Err. I'm working on something this is a stupid question. But is there a way to save data and stuff without having to go into back end?
If not or if there is. What should I look into/learn to get it done without having to go too deep6 -
Not the question itself, the attitude was the problem.
I didn't solve the problem that they gave me, and struggled for a while (I ended up solving it an hour after the interview).
Their attitude was that they were both sitting on their computers working and not paying attention to me.
That was disrespectful and stupid. Interviews are also about figuring out whether you can work with the person being interviewed, not just their tech chops. They completely missed the opportunity.
I went to round 2 which was the same. Didn't go for round 3. -
Fuck I am to stupid to set up an ubuntu.
I just installed ubuntu as a dual boot on my notebook.
But now I can't boot it.
I mean I can boot it but only if I go to recovery mode first.
Any Idea what I could do?4 -
Hey hey hey, stupid poll time! Yay!
Okay it's only the second one but let me dream
If you had one of each thing that makes your dev life what it is, which one would you pick?
Let me explain a bit: I mean IDE, drinks, language, coworker, project... If you had to keep ONE think in each "category" of your job, what would they be?
-----
Mine would be:
JavaScript (I know some others are better, it's just my most fluent one), Atom IDE, Orangina (drink, for the ones not knowing) and my most powerful laptop out of the two. Those would be the things I'd keep if I had to.
-----
Please don't bash me on my crappy question, I'm just wondering >.<9 -
M so angry at one of my faculties today!!
Basically, the faculty is utter garbage ( although he is supposed to b the best and most experienced guy ). He teaches us data communication but all he does is start up a presentation, read from there and tell that to us adding a thing or two...
Well we have been tolerating him for the entire semester at this point so... whatever, we have come to peace with the fact that we simply attend to get attendance...
But, yesterday, there was a seminar going on and I asked a question to the speaker... the speaker started replying and the faculty interrupted the speaker to crack an ill joke about me... and started laughing... I mean what the hell!!! Ur supposed to be a faculty and THAT is how u behave?!
Anyway, many people laughed... more so because of the way he laughed than his “joke”.
Made me burn with rage but i forgot about it thanks to the seminar being decent.
Today, he was checking our assignments... he became angry and the reason being we didn’t write answers from the presentation and instead used the Internet.
This is what he said:
“ I have given u the presentation and that is exactly where u will write the assignments from... if u wanna use the internet to find the answers, then why do u come to my class!! “
I literally wanted to say - “ to get freaking attendance!! “
Somehow I didn’t... my assignment wasn’t checked today so nothing bad happened...
And btw, the assignments that he gives r 30 terminologies ( words and meanings ),
And nearly 25-30 question answers...
Just go thru the presentation to get all the answers... and this is called “teaching” and “education” !!!! 😠😠😠😠
No research, no understanding, simply do as he says, even in quizzes, even if ur answer is correct but it is not exactly the point he asks, screw u!
He will scold u...
I CAME TO COLLEGE TO LEARN AND UNDERSTAND!!! NOT MUG UP UR STUPID ANSWERS TO PASS IN EXAMS!!!!!!
M now imagining ways to kill him 😠😠😠😠🔥🔥🔥🔥2 -
Happened a few ago when I started taking SQL classes in school. We had our theory exam with one question asking us to display the date of the following day. And since I knew dick about working with date, I decided to make the computer sleep for 86400 seconds and print current date (which was like the only command I knew about dates).I feel really stupid thinking about that now.. but it was fun :P3
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Well my expert developer friend asked me why 'bugs' were called 'bugs'....
Personally I told him STFU cause he had to ask such an important question when my headphones were on, nevertheless 'bugs' are getting old now, let's just refer to them as 'problematic, chronic, death causing errors often caused by a stupid typo'4 -
When people mail me asking something i think is stupid question i reply with this pic,
(It is also my profile picture on Linq now) :(
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I use a DasKey Ultimate with blank keycaps at work and people always ask how the hell I can work with that board. I recently bought a Happy Hacking Pro for my tablet/laptop and I must ask the same question to those who daily drive these..
How the fuck do you deal with this retarded layout??
I used the dip switches to at least change the Del to BS but the physical key is stupid small, the control key position is just idiotic and no dedicated arrows? I use VIM and my work desktop is Linux and I come from a UNIX background. Still makes no sense.
</rant> -
She was my teacher in 11th standard. In the very first class she told feel free to ask anything. I won't judge you for your questions as no questions are stupid. Further she said that from today onwards you'll are engineers and I'll refer you as engineers and what you to think like them. I won't ever forget that very class. How simple were those words yet so inspiring. Form that day onwards I kept that single thing in mind that no question is stupid and I should always feel free to clear my doubts by asking questions. We asked her, "Ma'am will you teach us to make viruses?" She said sure but never try one on my system. She'll always be my best teacher.1
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So there is a company selling bullshit miraculous devices which they claim can heal everything from foul breath to cancer and autism by light and magnetic pulses. They trick old, naive, gullible, ignorant or simply stupid people into paying big money for their stuff which is always "on sale, just now just for you".
The question is: if they would ask you to build a website for them (which would help their shady business grow) would you refuse their actually pretty generous offer because of moral reasons, or do it like any other job?
(I know my answer, I'm just curious about others' opinions.)7 -
I'm in several FB groups for selling/buying IT material, and from time to time I see someone trying to scam other people by selling those "GAMING PC L33TL4z0rz" with 4GB RAM and an GeForce 700GT GPU, attaching some LED action photos and League of Legends / CS:GO prints.
One of the most recent posts, was a guy who was trying to sell his (really old) macBook.
He said it was great for gaming, had an i5 CPU and 4GB of RAM.
Upon leaving my comment on the pieace of shit he was selling and that 4GB was barely enough to run Chrome, I got a shitload of replies saying that 4GB on a mac are not the same as 4GB on windows... So I immediately forgot everything I knew about computers and just left most (if not all) sales groups because I felt that a tumor of sorts started growing in me, a tumor of rage and awe in human stupidity.
Slowly, I started feeling superior to other people, and would immediately regard them as idiot simpletons. And I don't want to be THAT guy, who rolls his eyes every time someone asks a stupid question...
Now, if any of you could please inform me... What is the RAM conversion rate between a windows and a mac ?5 -
Ok..now its up to you guys. I couldnt find any answer on google that could help me..
SSH : is that only like a dos or batch command line (simply script language) , to go with?
I see often the "$" sign , for what does it stand for?21 -
New favorite statement/question: "OK, but WHY?"
When co-workers want access to something, when clients request stupid features, when clients say almost anything really.
If you can't tell me why, then I probably don't need to waste my time on it.1 -
Ok people told me to make a collision library...um really stupid question but I’ve never tried that or thought of it. Thank you in advance but does anyone want to point me toward some nice resources... THANKS also I did ye classic aliases sudo to fucking6
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There's just one thing that pisses me off about American English being a programmer. The punctuation that defines the end of a sentence SHOULD NOT go inside of the quotation marks if a quote ends the sentence, yet that's considered correct in the US. For example, if Joe said something as a statement, to ask a friend if he heard Joe say something, you'd write: Hey! Did you hear Joe say "that tree sucks?" When you should write (in my opinion.. and the UK's apparently): Hey! Did you hear Joe say "that tree sucks"? The question mark shouldn't go inside the string! Wtf! Joe wasn't asking a question! Stupid US English...3
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Disclaimer: I should know what I'm doing but I don't. 😢
I'm a very experienced full stack dev (15+ years), but I don't know the more modern JS frameworks. I'm trying to learn React and I have a little project I'd like to do.
I have database (in both SQLite form and JSON form). I'd like to read from it, parse it and run various displays in a shared hosting environment (that doesn't have node). So webpack. And either an API to get the data or a React compatible SQL component.
But dagnamit, I cannot find a tutorial or example with this kind of set up and I can't figure it out. What packages do I need and what kind of config?
I genuinely thought this would be a traditional and simple architecture but I'm obviously mistaken. And I'm about to turn in my developer card because I'm clearly a stupid twonk.
Has anyone done this? Do you know of any tutorials or examples of this kind of thing? Is there somewhere else I should ask this question? Thanks anyway...5 -
Question for game developers 🙄
I wanted to try game development a few years back, started watching unity3D tuts, but I realized quickly that I can't actually do anything, because I don't have the skills to design animation and draw ui, and it was stupid to buy components online before I knew what I'm doing.. so I left it. Was I wrong? How did you start? Is it possible to make a game on your own, or do you need a team with members who each specialize in its own area (code, design, animation, music, etc.) And if team is needed, then how do you even start learning? Thanx1 -
I still wonder which one is better to fully learn/understand. I know to code something in both, I know about the different way of how they handle memory and I know about some of their use-cases, but then again... this stupid question still pops out:
C or C++ and why?4 -
Stupid Windows Update back at it again with the Fall Creator's Update. More like Fail Creator's Update. My poor laptop took it too hard and the built-in mobile hotspot feature is currently bugged and not working, with the ICS service in task manager stuck at 100% you usage. Restore to previous version or not to restore to previous version? That my friends is the question. *picks up Ubuntu 17.10 live disk*2
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Yeah, so when you create an account just about anywhere nowadays, you need to choose a strong password. Fair enough. But then, some sites/services/systems require a second password, sort of a password hint as an extra security for retrieving your first password in case you forget it. Well OK...That hint question just becomes very *in*secure when you must choose from some extremely stupid presets like "In which town were you born?" or "What was your mother's maiden name?", all of which are trivia that for most people can be easily googled, or looked up on facebook ffs. And these "in which town did this or that happen?" questions? As there is only one town in my country it's not a long shot that I was born in Mariehamn, met my partner in Mariehamn and had my first job in Mariehamn. Security questions for imbecils.4
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On my University exam of compiler design I got this question
Write difference between pascal and C programming language.1 -
Every time somone who i have nearly forgott about calls me. I know im gonne get a stupid IT or Tech question...
- Why is my internet slow?
- Can you make a better {xyz}.... for free?
- How can i make my computer faster
- Why does office/spotify/chrome crash?
- Can you teache me programming so i can get rich?
FUCK THEM!
Really, i've got more relevant stuff to do. If you wouldnt have killed all your braincells with smoking and drinking and did something with your life you wouldnt have to ask such stupid questions in the first place. And thanks for never contacting me in the past X years! -
FUCKING STACKOVERFLOW ASSHOLES.
This guy answered my question on security.stackexchange.com with an answer showing he clearly doesn’t understand that I’m asking if my RAID1 setup constitutes an appropriate backup. (I know that sounds stupid, I can post a link if anyone wants to see the specific circumstances).
I FUCKING KNOW RAID ISNT A BACKUP BUT THIS GUY IS LIKE “RAID 1, or mirroring, is definately [sic] considered a backup in corp IT”
Go suck a dick.10 -
Hello council of elders.. or should I say "console"? Heh? Heh? I've been up for a long time sorry.
Anyway. I've started learning framework stuff. Angular right now. Been long overdue tbh. And I found a free course on udemy and followed it. It's cool and everything but I gotta ask...
Why can't I just use vanilla js and everything from scratch? I'm not sure if its the course I'm using (I'd appreciate more resources. Thanks) but I feel like it's a lot of effort. Is there something I'm missing or haven't learned yet?
It might sound stupid please let me know why it's better to use that than regular methods. Apparently it's meant to make stuff easier but I feel like it's just a lot linking files and making various things in different places.
Also. Other stupid question which might just be cause of the course but like... Is it mostly just for manipulating json??
Thanks. More questions to come soon!!4 -
When I do not have much to do, I like to take a look at apps on Google Play, just see what's out there. Then I start to see the opinions of users and go into anger.
I'm Spanish and I'm sick of all those Spanish-speaking people (mostly latin american... sorry but that's true) who mark only one star and make aggressive comments to developers because the app in question is not available in Spanish.
Seriously, are you stupid or what's wrong with you? If the app is in English, it's free, it's good ... learn English and stop complaining !!
Or better, offer to translate it to reach more people!!
Although this is demanding a lot, since this kind of people don't know neither Spanish grammar nor proper spelling at all.2 -
Having to work with my colleagues you doesn't believe on Dino's, satellites and big time believer in the flat earth (even hung up a map of it and stuff..) aaaaand.. him not understand a single proton-sized amount about IT but ignores my advice when he gets issues with his computer...
Ps. And yes, he has smelled alcohol as well, after a talk with the boss nothing has happened..
Pps.. FFS..NO not every thing is fake you stupid excuse of a human being with flattened peanut brain.. this is not the bloody Truman show (although good movie)
Ppps. Forgot the why.. why.. why?! Well.. isn't that the question with this guy.. (╯°□°）╯︵( .o.) -
"Did you get my mail?" Can only be a valid question ONE TIME and that is after sending the frist mail ever to the reciver. How the fukk shall I know what mail "mail" refeers to? Stupid.
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Could be a stupid question, but I'm asking anyway. If I have a Java application, it's legal for me to package dependencies in it's jar, right? (In this case GSON)5
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Stupid timeline, there is this company I was working for. It was sub-contracted by another company to do a government project. Government only pays after you deliver in my country. It was a complex system I must say. We were to work with my buddy on this project...now the timeline we were given were not feasible since another company had been given the same project and were not able to deliver. We had a meeting and discussed with our CEO about the project timelines. From the workload the feasible timelines were around 8months if we were to work as two devs. My CEO said that was not going to happen.. The only timelines that was allowed was not more than 3 months. So we suggest use an existing system to customize. .The meetings with the clients were to be weekly demos. So we choose to go with google docs api for the document management part. We were working around 20hrs a day to be able to achieve the target deadline..we management to complete the project within the given timeline..on the commissioning date of the project we faced a government panel and this was my worst disappointment. At the point of login we had to use Google email for business to obtain the API. Just as I was logging in the guy noticed and yelled. "Is that google account ?" and I replied yes..and he said "no need of proceeding since it will be of no use and they won't approve the system". That was my lowest moment in programming. I thought I had done the best project in my life as a programmer only for stupid man to declare my project as null. I felt like calling him son of a bitch but I knew that would have made me more angry...i just walked out. I went to the toilet and all I did was cry for the first time as I can recall.. My question was I was doing weekly demos. Why didn't they raise any questions by then so as to change the entire system??? Later after that demo we went and discussed about the issue and there was time extension. I redid the project using 'open office' but just before deploying the system I got a better job. I wasn't feeling like working on that project anymore. I want to release that project as open source. Recently after one year they haven't yet deployed the system. They are calling for my help. And I don't feel like helping after the humiliation...
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I am feeling really stupid right now.
How to run devrantron via the console (using manjaro with i3wm, installed via the aur).
I feel like i tried everything but i am sure i am overlooking something obvious.1 -
update on this
https://devrant.com/rants/1617751/...
My first interview was kinda okay, I think I'm not in the mood to join them as well. They have to create a web app and they are considering Angular and React but they're more favorable to Angular which I haven't used yet.
Second went pretty well as per my expectation, those guys using React, Vue in which I'm more interested and they seemed friendly to me. Instead of stupid questions (tell me about yourself bla bla bla), they asked the only logical question which was more related to work and my experience. In the end, they asked me about my salary expectations and joining period, and I'm feeling positive about it.
Now I've to wait for next week to get a response from both interviews.2 -
So I have noticed if I think I know much of logic in programming and I can solve this problem better way I actually code better.
And when I think no I'm just a noob programmer I ask stupid question to myself and get my self confidence blown.
Thing is don't think you are bad, think of just you'll put all the experience all the knowledge you got in this program (according to its requirement) -
Question Is there anything Linux doesn't support
I feel like it's too perfect lol
I just started getting into Linux a few months ago learning in my in my free time (on break now so yay:D more time) so I apologize if this is a stupid question4 -
Exercise more in reading your own code or looking up on Google if something doesn't work, so many times someone asks me a question and it takes me 5 seconds to see they made a stupid mistake or a typo. Then I think to myself "you could've easily found that out seriously, stop wasting my 5 seconds"
-
A recruiter asked me: "Are you familiar with...VLAN?"
I'm a certified network technician, and the recruiter knew that beforehand.
It's a bit like asking a bicycle delivery man if he knows about handlebars. Well, yes? Which was what I answered. Not sure how I could have answered that question without sounding stupid.3 -
Probably a very stupid question.
Is it possible to customize the BIOS by changing colors/fonts/adding images/ascii art or even create a custom interface?
Anyone has any idea if this is possible and if so, some useful sources how to do this and where to start?
Thanks3 -
Really interesting video by FunFunFunction https://youtu.be/J9OpTNk0hYc.
"Does a developer need to be nice". How many times have you guys been made to feel stupid for asking a question or for getting something wrong?2 -
Is data sciences/ML/AI a subset of web development and networking ? Most of the time i feel people need to know web development tools and languages to be successful in this ML/Ai/datasciences career. Should one go learn web dev first?12
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Just finished my finals.
Had to run k-means with pen and paper only. I find this kind of question stupid but why not. BUT WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CHOSE SOME INITIALIZATION THAT TAKES 13(!!!!) FUCKING ITERATIONS TO CONVERGE ? Just in case my first 12 iterations are correct by chance ? Guess what, you fucktard, I GOT IT.
And doing the same calculus by hand 13 FUCKING TIMES is moronic as hell, you retarded piece of shit ! When you train your neural networks, do you also backpropagate your gradient all by yourself, mongoloid baboon? Getting sick of those stupid assignements1 -
!rant && askDevRantDevs()
I can't find a way to change my password. Am I just too blind or too tired ? (ofc I'm tired, stupid question)5 -
Stupid question but how exactly do you use javascript in an html page? What editor can you use to see a live preview as you code? Trying to make a multi-step secure form.12
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!rant
Stupid licensing issue.
I have a licensing question/problem.
I'm porting Lemonbar (the fancy GNU/Linux X11 statusbar) to D (which is awesome imo).
I'm adding Wayland functionality and since D is part of the C syntax family some code is just about exactly the same (the XCB libs are protocol-generated external imports).
Also, the X-specific parts are in a specific file.
What do I license the project against? My own license (I prefer Apache) or Lemonbar's? What about the X-specific file?
BTW, it's a full rewrite using the same concepts, object-orienting the whole thing.3 -
Is it common to freak out frustrated to the core when you fuck up a project or dependency you've been working on for with full dedication, leading to question your decision of selecting the field, your achievements yet, the whole point of existence. Then suddenly fix it after two hours of pulling hair out and looking back feeling stupid?
This episode has repeated over and over recently. -
I'm no iOS developer, so sorry if this is a stupid question. I was told a particular app I'm looking to make an Android version for was built in objective-C and uses Ruby and AWS for the backend. so presumably I'd need to plug into AWS for my app,im just not sure how Ruby fits in...2
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Can slack team owner see other peoples direct messages even if they're not in that chat
Probably a stupid question. Sorry1 -
Hi
maybe a stupid question :) I have two Django apps, I need one of them to use the functions of the other one without importing them. as if I am requesting them using API, is there a way I can get an instance of a function and use it, I don't want to do the following:
response = requests.get('HTTP://URL/example/', data)
data = response.json()
I want instead to do something like this
function = requests.get('HTTP://URL/example/')
and execute the function as follows
data = function()
thanks4 -
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