Since 4 weeks i have during work my noise cancelling headphones on, thanks to the new open space office.
I don't even hear my phone ringing 😂

It's bloody annoying when the hardest part of your program is to integrate with an external API with confusing documentation.

Stuck on a problem for 2 hours, walk away for a coffee, return to fix it in 2 mins.

Should take breaks every 5 mins to maximize productivity.

We've all been there

When managers ask you to complete some code in an hour and it takes them 5 hours to approve the merge.

When you change 200 lines of code all over the place in a class and then realize that you forgot to pull 17 commits from origin 😖

I wish recruitment agencies knew what they're doing so they could actually send useful job offers... C'mon, seriously? I'm a first year at University, what are the chances I can be a senior linux sys admin and manage a team?

I'm a junior programmer at a small company with mostly web dev. I had a C# project and before the deadline I granted access to the project repository one of my boss/senior coder. Several hours later I got an email with the whole project zipped and a note: I made some modifications, check it out.

Why someone doesn't want to use some kind of version control system?

6 stages of debugging

Playing email tennis with a client trying to get to the specifics of a vague initial request. Difficult to do without being patronising and condescending. Having to read and edit my emails to make them believe that I don't think they are a useless fucking incompetent twat.

So true.

Me: Are you sure you want this in the acceptance test procedure?
Lead: Yes.
Me: I'm just saying, we don't have any requirements for this feature so it doesn't really belong there.
Lead: Just put it in.
Me: Are you sure? It's a lot of work for something that isn't even required to be there.
Lead: Go do it.
Me: Okay.
*I do the work and it goes to peer review*
High ranking person from another team: I don't see any requirements traceability. Why is this in here if there are no requirements?
Me: WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GODDAMN QUESTION!?

-> everyone at the company uses git
-> asked to change some stuff
-> boss says "don't remove the old code, just comment it in case we need it in the future"
-> ...
-> ???

When the customer is complaining that not what she meant but then you show her the emails and then she said I (the developer) should have known better from the first meeting draft and shouldn't followed the email. It is a lose lose situation.

#UDPjokes

when you're the only developer at a firm and the client wants something bc "it's super simple, that's how ebay does it, just copy them"

When a client drags ass for weeks on giving you content for their site but wonders why their changes aren't live within 24 hours. 😐🔫

When you see a someone write this
if(condition){
return true;
} else {
return false;
}

Puns for days

Was having an internship interview, and the guy starts laughing while reading my resume and says:
"don't put visual basic on your resume if you don't want to work with it"
I proceeded to remove it ASAP.