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I am Computer Science Student
Yesterday I asked question to my classmates, what is Linux,
here's some(non-forgettable) replays:
3- An App
2- A Soap
1- Game character
and most (suggest me..a word) :
0- Linux Crackers(Food)
and that guy sent me this..
17 -
I have an array of 1037 records. The soap service only accepts 100 at a time. So, I write code to send an array of 100 records at a time to the soap service in a loop and get a response back of, "The maximum number (100) of records allowed for this operation has been exceeded." Well, I'll try 99 records then. Nope same error. I'll try 50 records, nope I'll just bang my head on the desk now since the documentation and error say it is a record limit of 100. 😠
Look at my code again. I was grabbing 100 records out of the array of 1037 records and storing it in a new array, but I was sending the original array with 1037 records instead of the temporary array in the loop. 😢 I'm going to bed.7 -
I actually hate this job, seems like there's not a single project with decent code abstraction. Everything is a fucking spaghetti like:
```
// we only care about e-mail fields, which are odd
isValid(index) {
if(!(index%2)) {
return true;
}
...
}
```
Like MOTHERFUCKER, WHAT BUSINESS RULE DOES THIS SHITCODE REFLECTS?!?! WHY CAN'T YOU SHITHEADS WRITE PROPER BUSINESS ABSTRACTION RATHER THAN JUST COLLEGE-GRADUATE QUALITY SHITCODE.
FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY I SHOULD HAVE INSTEAD BECAME A PSYCHIC CAUSE I'M SURELY GOOD AT GUESSING WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCKCODE INTENDS TO ACHIEVE.
AND YOU CALL YOURSELF TOP-NOTCH DEV CAUSE THIS IS JAVASCRIPT... YOU KNOW WHAT, SHITHEADS LIKE YOU, WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT OTHER THAN GLOBALLING EVERY FUCKING NPM LOCAL PACKAGE IS WHY GOOD ENGINEER LIKE US GET SHIT FROM PHPEPSI ZENDFRAMESHIT FUCKHEADS DEVS.
DO YOU THINK YOUR COMMENT WAS HELPFUL??? DO I LOOK LIKE A BUSINESS GRADUATE FUCKTARD WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THE MODULE OPERATOR IS??? I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU WROTE THAT SHITFUCK INSTEAD OF WHAT IT DOES; THE REASON I'M READING YOUR POORLY WRITTEN MODULE OPERATOR SOAP-OPERA IN THE FIRST PLACE IS CAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT'S DOING, IT'S BREAKING SHIT.
OH AND ONE MORE THING, FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCKSHIT SHITFUCK FUCk11 -
I just walked passed 2 technologically impaired ladies in my office (the kind who think google is on their actual computer) having an avid discussion about how "You can find Ajax everywhere on so many websites!".
I was super impressed until I realised they were talking about buying dish soap :/
12 -
Worst dev team failure I've experienced?
One of several.
Around 2012, a team of devs were tasked to convert a ASPX service to WCF that had one responsibility, returning product data (description, price, availability, etc...simple stuff)
No complex searching, just pass the ID, you get the response.
I was the original developer of the ASPX service, which API was an XML request and returned an XML response. The 'powers-that-be' decided anything XML was evil and had to be purged from the planet. If this thought bubble popped up over your head "Wait a sec...doesn't WCF transmit everything via SOAP, which is XML?", yes, but in their minds SOAP wasn't XML. That's not the worst WTF of this story.
The team, 3 developers, 2 DBAs, network administrators, several web developers, worked on the conversion for about 9 months using the Waterfall method (3~5 months was mostly in meetings and very basic prototyping) and using a test-first approach (their own flavor of TDD). The 'go live' day was to occur at 3:00AM and mandatory that nearly the entire department be on-sight (including the department VP) and available to help troubleshoot any system issues.
3:00AM - Teams start their deployments
3:05AM - Thousands and thousands of errors from all kinds of sources (web exceptions, database exceptions, server exceptions, etc), site goes down, teams roll everything back.
3:30AM - The primary developer remembered he made a last minute change to a stored procedure parameter that hadn't been pushed to production, which caused a side-affect across several layers of their stack.
4:00AM - The developer found his bug, but the manager decided it would be better if everyone went home and get a fresh look at the problem at 8:00AM (yes, he expected everyone to be back in the office at 8:00AM).
About a month later, the team scheduled another 3:00AM deployment (VP was present again), confident that introducing mocking into their testing pipeline would fix any database related errors.
3:00AM - Team starts their deployments.
3:30AM - No major errors, things seem to be going well. High fives, cheers..manager tells everyone to head home.
3:35AM - Site crashes, like white page, no response from the servers kind of crash. Resetting IIS on the servers works, but only for around 10 minutes or so.
4:00AM - Team rolls back, manager is clearly pissed at this point, "Nobody is going fucking home until we figure this out!!"
6:00AM - Diagnostics found the WCF client was causing the server to run out of resources, with a mix of clogging up server bandwidth, and a sprinkle of N+1 scaling problem. Manager lets everyone go home, but be back in the office at 8:00AM to develop a plan so this *never* happens again.
About 2 months later, a 'real' development+integration environment (previously, any+all integration tests were on the developer's machine) and the team scheduled a 6:00AM deployment, but at a much, much smaller scale with just the 3 development team members.
Why? Because the manager 'froze' changes to the ASPX service, the web team still needed various enhancements, so they bypassed the service (not using the ASPX service at all) and wrote their own SQL scripts that hit the database directly and utilized AppFabric/Velocity caching to allow the site to scale. There were only a couple client application using the ASPX service that needed to be converted, so deploying at 6:00AM gave everyone a couple of hours before users got into the office. Service deployed, worked like a champ.
A week later the VP schedules a celebration for the successful migration to WCF. Pizza, cake, the works. The 3 team members received awards (and a envelope, which probably equaled some $$$) and the entire team received a custom Benchmade pocket knife to remember this project's success. Myself and several others just stared at each other, not knowing what to say.
Later, my manager pulls several of us into a conference room
Me: "What the hell? This is one of the biggest failures I've been apart of. We got rewarded for thousands and thousands of dollars of wasted time."
<others expressed the same and expletive sediments>
Mgr: "I know..I know...but that's the story we have to stick with. If the company realizes what a fucking mess this is, we could all be fired."
Me: "What?!! All of us?!"
Mgr: "Well, shit rolls downhill. Dept-Mgr-John is ready to fire anyone he felt could make him look bad, which is why I pulled you guys in here. The other sheep out there will go along with anything he says and more than happy to throw you under the bus. Keep your head down until this blows over. Say nothing."11 -
!dev
Last week I watched a DIY video where at the end the guy dumped detergent water on the grass. I kindly commented it's a €150 fine. Their response was on the lines of "Oh yeah, Mr Proper? And what would you say if I told you I spray my whole garden with soap to get rid of weeds, huh?".
Well, you dumb fuck, I don't care what you do, I wasn't attacking you, I was being *nice* and warned you about the fucking fine that you're going to fucking pay because your channel name is your first and last name and your video shows the street and the house number but whatever.
Today I couldn't log into my YouTube account. Why was that, you might ask? Well, because the dumb fuck paid the fucking fine and assumed I was the one that ratted, so he made a video about it and his dumb fuck audience falsely reported all of my videos for child abuse and promoting terrorism.
I only upload unboxing videos that debunk scummy "deals". 🤦♂️11 -
I realize I've ranted about this before, but...
Fuck APIs.
First the fact that external services can throw back 500 errors or timeouts when their maintainer did a drunk deploy (but you properly handled that using caching, workers, retry handlers, etc, right? RIGHT?)...
Then the fact that they all speak a variety of languages and dialects (Oh fuck why does that endpoint return a JSON object with int keys instead of a simple array... wait the params are separated with pipe characters? And the other endpoint uses SOAP? Fuck I need to write another wrapper class around the client...)
But the worst thing: It makes developers live in this happy imaginary universe where "malicious" is not a word.
"I found this cloud service which checks our code style" — hmm ok, they seem trustworthy. Hope they don't sell our code, but whatever.
"And look at this thing, it automatically makes database backups, just have to connect to it to DigitalOcean" — uhhh wait...
"And I just built this API client which sends these forms to be OCR processed" — Fuck... stop it... there are bank accounts numbers on those forms... Where's that API even located? What company?
* read their privacy policy *
"We can not guarantee the safety of your personal data, use at your own risk [...] we are located in Russia".
I fucking hate these millennial devs who literally fail to get their head out of the cloud.
Somehow they think it's easier to write all these NodeJS handlers and layers around some API, which probably just calls ImageMagick + Tesseract on the other side.
If I wasn't so fucking exhausted, I'd chop of their heads... but they're like hydra, you seal one privacy breach and another is waiting to be merged, these kids just keep spewing their crap into easy packages, they keep deploying shitty heroku apps... ugh.
😖8 -
What I did wrong during my home office cleaning session this morning:
- put soap on my mouse mat
- snapped my enter key
- vacuumed up my F8 key
- absent-mindedly cut my ethernet cable
- lost my zero key
- dropped my backup hard drive (data was recoverable, but I need a new drive)
- lost one of the nose pads on my glasses
- got a cocktail stick stuck in a USB port
- exploded my mouse by using the wrong type of battery
Things I did good:
- nothing11 -
Was watching a soap with my girlfriend and they were trying to hack into the network of a hospital.. oh my
10 -
*How do devRanters take a bath*
same as everyone!
you got your soap...
shampoo...
rubber ducky with cape...6 -
Due to the coronavirus we are currently required to develop all our web services with SOAP and sanitise all our input for at least 20 seconds.2
-
Not a rant - just wondering if anyone else witnessed a really awkward closing talk at a conference.
Attended a mandatory JS conference yesterday where all the speakers gave the typical conference talks on new ideas, frameworks, packages with code demonstrations. Most of talks were great and the some of the speakers were extremly humorous making the whole audience laugh which is hard to do. The talk right before the keynote speaker was like this.
Then the keynote started...
The end presenter was an asian-american woman (normally would not metion race/ gender but it’s important to the story) whose talk was basically how the white males of the world are controlling tech an their bias and privilege are marginalizing the rest of us who are not white american ‘cis-males’
She had no data and weak examples, such as sensors on automatic soap despeners not working on darker skins tones (that’s not racist it’s physics). Another example was a plugin where true=male and false=female. That is not gender biased it’s just lazy programming.
At one point she said:
“Have you even been to a party at a rich white guy’s house? There boring! I’m sorry”
This was just a talk about her feelings, if I was not surrounded by my coworkers I would have left.
I feel like this was not appropiate talk for one track conference since it traps everyone into listening. Especially where attendance is obligatory by your employer.
The conference should have warned people it would be an uncomfortable talk and invite people to start happy hour early if they chose.
To add to the weirdness in the closing remarks of one of the organizers patted himself on the back for supplying the women’s bathroom with tampons. He even created a slide for it with a tampon illustration.
Example slide from her deck.
61 -
Start a development job.
Boss: "let's start you off with something very easy. There's this third party we need data from. They have an api, just get the data and place it on our messaging bus."
Me: "sure, sounds easy enough"
Third party api turns out to have the most retarded conversation protocol. With us needing a service to receive data on while also having a client to register for the service. With a lot of timed actions like, 'send this message every five minutes' and 'check whether our last message was sent more than 11 minutes ago'.
Due to us needing a service, we also need special permissions through the company firewall. So I have to go around the company to get these permissions, FOR EVERY DATA STREAM WE NEED!
But the worst of it all is... This whole api is SOAP based!!
Also, Hey DevRant!5 -
Why in God's name would anyone use SOAP over Rest......
Because it makes you cleaner hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha9 -
me: "Why not just use AJAX?"
guy who wasn't kidding: "Uh... oh is that a SOAP joke? Haha.."
:/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/2 -
Hi,
I'm not a ranty person so I never actually thought I'd post anything here but here it goes.
From the beginning.
We use ancient technologies. PHP 5.2, Symfony 1.2 and a non RFC complient SOAP with NO documentation.
A year ago We've been thrown a new temporary project. An VOIP app for every OS.
That being iOS, Android, MAC, PC, Linux, Windows mobile. With a 3 month deadline. All that thrown at 4 PHP developers. The idea being that They'll take it, sign the delivery protocol, everyone happy. No more updates for the app needed. They get their funds they needed the app for and we get paid.
Fast forward to today...
Our dev team started the year with great news that We'll most likely have to create a new project. Since the amount of new features would be far greater than current feature set, we managed to finally force our boss to use newer technologies (ie. seperate backend symfony4 PHP7+/frontend react, rest api and so on). So we were ecstatic to say the least. With preestimates aimed at a minimum 3 month development period. Since we're comfortable with everything that needs to be done.
Two days later our boss came to me that one of our most annoying clients needs a new feature. Said client uses ancient version written on a napkin because They changed half of the specification 2 weaks before deadline in a software made not by a developer but some sysadmin who didn't know anything. His MVC model was practically VVV model since he even had sql queries in some views. Feature will take 3 days - fixing everything that will break in the meantime - 1-2 months.
F*** it, fine. A little overtime won't kill me.
Yesterday boss comes again... Apparently someone lost a delivery protocol for a project we ended that half a year ago. Whats even better at the time when we asked for hardware to test we never got any. When we asked about any testing enviornment - nothing. The app being SEMI-stable on everything is an overstatement but it was working on the os'es available at the time. Since the client started testing now again, it turns out that both Android app does not work on 8.1/9 and the iOS app does not work on ios12. The client obviously does not want to pay and we can do little with it without the protocol, other than rewriting the apps.
It will take months at least since all of those apps were written by people that didn't know neither the OS'es nor the languages. For example I started writing the iOS one in swift. Only to learn after half of the development time, that swift doesn't like working by C Library rules and I had to use ObjC also. With some C thrown in due to the library. 3 unknown languages, on an unknown platform in 3 months. I never had any apple device in my hand at that time nor do I intend to now. I'm astonished it worked out then. It was a clusterf**k of bad design and sticking everything together with deprecated apis and a gum. So I'll have to basically fully rewrite it.
If boss decides we'll take all those at the same time I'll f***ing jump of a bridge.8 -
Assigned to a new project team..
Using git, in a creative way. So.. "master" is "dev" branch, usually. Everyone can push their branch to dev server .. so it's "dynamic for us". Production branch is whatever, as long as the branch has the release version. Sometimes, the release comes from "master".. that mean "dev" in normal geek..
That's just Git. The source code is a saturated spagetti of Entity framework and Caliburn. It is littered with antipatterns, especially basebean. Holy Christmas and Easter that baseclass do a lot of stuff that has no place as a base class ..
Fucking frameworks, I'm gonna start to evangelize frameworks as the no1 antipattern.
MS SQL as the main DB, but is dumped to json FILES through a scheduled task to increase read performance on web.
There is a soap endpoint to expose the json files, fml..
I am assuming I was placed here to improve stuff, I have never in my life seen anything like this before.
There is a special place in hell for this repository7 -
Boss: You have one month to finish the program.
Me: It will be complicated but lets see how it goes.
To be cleared the end date is 2 of July.
Boss on the last friday: You have to finish on the 20th of June
Me: Yeah sure....
Boss yesterday: You have to finish on the 15th of June.
Me: You said one month.
Boss today: you have to finish by the end of this week
Me: No problem Boss you will have it tomorrow!!!
Boss: You have to. There are more projects waiting...
Me: -.-
This is what I have to deal with. But hey... don't forget... tomorrow is a new day so ... fuck it.5 -
I had just started as an SDE intern, and was fiddling around with the code base.
Me: Hey, can you send me the link to our version control system?
Mentor: Umm, what!?
Me: You know, where we keep our code backup...
Mentor: Hmm, is there a need for that?
Me: Yeah, I mean, my past experience tells me to always backup code, just in case something goes wrong.
Mentor: Ohh, that's easy. I'll teach you how I do it.
So, he comes to my workplace, and does this:
1. Go to your workspace folder.
2. Right click it.
3. Zip it.
4. Open outlook.
5. Compose email.
6. Attach the zip file.
7. Mail to yourself.
8. That's how it's done!
I was like what the hell!?!?! Is this really happening?? And then he started basking in his glory, as if he had taught me some secret hack! Seeing this, I couldn't even get myself to introduce him to git. That was the worst part.8 -
"We use WSDL and SOAP to provide data APIs"
- Old-fashioned but ok, gimme the service def file
(The WSDL services definition file describes like 20 services)
- Cool, I see several services. In need those X data entities.
"Those will all be available through the Data service endpoint"
- What you mean "all entities in the same endpoint"? It is a WSDL, the whole point is having self-documented APIs for each entity format!
"No, you have a parameter to set the name of the data entity you want, and each entity will have its own format when the service return it"
- WTF you need the WSDL for if you will have a single service for everything?!?
"It is the way we have always done things"
Certain companies are some outdated-ass backwater tech wannabees.
Usually those that have dominated the market of an entire country since the fucking Perestroika.
The moment I turn on the data pipeline, those fuckers are gonna be overloaded into oblivion. I brought popcorn.7 -
Adventures Of The New COO
So when that new COO joined our company ( read my previous rant to know that story ) he brought a graphic designer with him
as a designer he's ok, more of a old school package designer type, but as a person one of the most annoying one I've ever met, always want to be included with our conversations, talk about rain and stuff
so few days ago, i was working on a website, headphones plugged in, music playing, he comes near my seat
Designer: Are you busy ?
Me: yeah, I've this website to finish
Designer: So i have this idea for an app
Me: *taking off headphones while thinking doesn't this dumbass know the meaning of busy*
Designer: what if we create an app for super markets, like this isle has this stuff, that isle has soap or something and how it'll be easy to find what you want to buy and keeps going on and on for about 5 minutes
Me: *making my voice as polite and sarcastic as possible*
It wouldn't work, every market has a different layout even among same market chain it's different
Me: have you ever been to a super market, they have a board saying what the isle is above the isle, all you have to do is just look up
Designer: hmm yeah i guess
*walks away*
everyone wants to make apps and make money, but doesn't have the fucking brain capacity to think about the idea for a bit and do some research, instead they come and waste our time2 -
Fuck me in the ass, but do it harder then this api just so I can feel some love 😖
it's one of those days where you have to migrate from soap to rest, only the rest api doesn't have the same structure or search parameters as the soap api, so there's this entire fucking application sending requests at a brick wall, and expecting a purple throbbing 12 inch cock of xml to be pushed into an multi dimensional array and pushed through to the views to derange the mess, only you have to create that fucking 12 inch cock from several 2 inch dipsticks that have a different hierarchy, different field names, and merge the shit together with a glue gun...
good thing it's only an unexpected prod problem... right? 🤷♂️
Ah, the woes of a Monday on the legacy app adventures.1 -
You want to call a function? STOP!!!
Nowadays it is so amateur and old fashioned! Instead you must:
- Make a soap request
- Write a router to handle soup requests
- Write an XML to define which controller responds to this request
- Write an XML parser on top of another XML parser
- Write a controller to trigger an event in response to the request
- Write an XML which defines the event
- Write an XML that defines the event observer
- Write a plugin which calls event observers
- Write a router which delegates the task of calling event observers to that plugin
- Write an event observer which calls another plugin
- Write a plugin that "Calls a function".
It's better because... it's more Object Oriented!21 -
I fucking hate the Safari browser to death.
This piece of disk space waste is 50% of the reason why I have to spend hours to find out what the fuck is incorrectly displaying or not working on W.I.P. websites.
The other 50% is Edge, IE <=11 and Firefucks.
Just for piss smelling Safari, I need to either run a VM with Crapple OS X for debugging or borrow a Crapbook from $randomPerson.
Is it fucking not possible to compile Safari blowser to run on Linux or Winblows?
Eventhough I'm disgusted about Google and its privacy and data mining policies, Chrome is the most decent browser there is on the whole digital world. It only happens extremely rarely that something is not working/displaying as expected during development.
Most browser developers seem to be useless pubes eaters and like to shower with curd soap.13 -
I've seen SOAP on here and now in other places.. can someone explain what it is to me like I'm drunk?12
-
Advice to new coders? I got multiple, unrelated to each other.
1. Start with the FUCKING BASICS !! Invest some time with fundamentals, don't just directly jump on frameworks like React or Angular.
2. You and everyone else are always going to blame your technical skills if you're unable to land a job. But you have to realize that is not always the case. Your attitude and energy towards the interviewer plays a vital role too.
3. You're gonna have to take a hit to your salary expectations starting out. It's just the way this industry works.
4. Think of yourselves as a freelancer working for companies. Those who call themselves Employees get stagnant and dependent on their company pretty fast.
5. Your objective is either to learn or earn. If there is both, amazing job. If there is either it's good enough. If there is none, time to jump ship !!
6. HR is there to protect the company from you not the other way around. Be better at spotting crocodile tears.
7. Try to find a WFH job over a WFO job. If you have an urgency, then either works but keep applying to WFH jobs. It's the best thing.
8. Focus on what you're building instead of what you're building it with. Devs have a tendency to fight over what tech stack they should use instead of focussing on the larger picture.
9. You're gonna get overwhelmed at some point when you're gonna get terms thrown at you like XML, JSON, API, Figma, Git, SOAP, REST. Don't worry though you'll get there.
10. You should know how to google your solutions, like really. This is like 60% of the job.19 -
!rant && extra('worried');
My 11 years-old brother seems to be addicted to Minecraft, not the "dis iz so kool" addiction, but the "I put my health and education in danger to keep playing this game (homeworks badly done, grades free falling, showers without soap in 30s flat, food eaten in 15s, starts to yell at parents when they want him to stop playing (parents bitch slapped him a few times for this, but he seems to persist)).
My parents are over 55 now, so they don't really know how to handle this (can't / don't want to blame them), and I'm supposed shove some reason in his dead brain next weekend (I live 150km away).
I've been addicted myself to videogames in general and WoW in particular ((almost) no regrets) a few years back.. what should I say to him else than "This shit will ruin your life even before you started it" (which is planned anyway) ?26 -
If ever you felt imposter syndrome, it's after your senior experienced colleague rewrites an API you built... You've been chipping away at it for months, making it faster but reaching the limits of the functional but flawed original design.
In one week he starts it as a side project, and fixes the whole thing, soap to nuts... I need to sit down with that guy more.3 -
Best tool:
Your hands!
- incredibly flexible
- express a lot of commands trough very little code (just raise the middle finger and tell me if you are not expressing something VERY strong with VERY little complexity)
- reusable
- interfaces
- smells of good soap
Worst tool:
Your brain
- highly power consuming
- wrinkly, ehw!
- overthinks a lot
- imposter syndrome
- hooked on sugar like it was cocaine
- hooked on cocaine like it was sugar
- refuses to comprehend chthulu5 -
I love beer. I like trying things out of my comfort zone. German and Belgian beers are absolutely delish, them mfkers know how to make a good brew. I also like my Japanese and Mexican beers, and even though europeans shit on them all the time, there are tons of American brands I love.
But......for the life of me.....every IPA I take tastes like fucking dishwater soap. From artisanal to regular market brands, everything in between. Fuck me man I can't stand the taste.
Anyone feels the same?24 -
During interview :
We are going build the next big thing. We are going to use the latest and greatest, now tell me what WCF and SOAP are.2 -
Terrible week. Micromanagement killing all progress. The only positive note this week is that we got a new scent of soap.
Thank the gods I like citrus...4 -
I hate YouTube videos that are like "putting a bar of soap in liquid nitrogen" and it's 23 fucking minutes long.5
-
Time for a soap box rant.
I just found this in one of our projects. I've simplified the example to make it more anonymous.
When I see code like this it automatically means there is a lack of attention to enumerations and/or understanding of what they are.
One may argue that in a certain execution of code it's a minor performance hit and therefore insignificant. It's still a performance hit. Furthermore, it takes even less time to do it the right way than it does to do it the wrong way.
Every one of these lines will enumerate the list from the beginning to try and find that one element you're interested in. Big O notation, people.
Throw that crap into a dictionary or hashset or similarly applicable data structure with direct reads at the beginning of your logic so that it only gets enumerated ONCE when the data structure instance is created. Then access it however many times you want.
Soap box rant over.
15 -
If you as a smoker lost all sense of smell, don't use any perfumes!
Sitting in a train and a dude comes in, and my eyes start tearing up from the most pungent perfume trying to cover cigarette smoke.
For fucks sake!
And generally, in summer, the only acceptable perfume is fucking soap and deodorant stick.
Holy fuck I thought I was about to faint because of suffocation.3 -
Neo: "Why do my eyes hurt?"
Morpheus: "You've never used them before... REST Neo, the answers are coming"
See; it was never SOAP!3 -
Had to consume a soap webservice which spits out a XML of 5000 lines with ambiguous node names and a shitload of data that needs to be parsed.
Built a ORM model to hold all the data and I already built a Xmlparser which works like a boss.. untill now..
I've been debugging for 3 hours, cursing every God man ever made up. Swearing at my screen like a madman... but this particular set of nodes just didn't got saved properly to the DB...
Alright, so my ORM definition is fucked... nope... Alright, so my XmlParser is fucked... nope...
Whaaaaat the fuuuuck...
Oh wait, I've been checking the wrong table for hours....
Hooray for ambiguous tables because I followed the ambiguous structure.
I am going to get drunk now.
X1 -
Step 1. Learn to code .
Step 2. Exchange code for money.
Step 3. Exchange money for car, soap & a clean shirt.
Step 4. Profit.
[GOTO: Step #1]
Lol. OK on a serious note coding improved my love life, it drastically reduced the frequency of dates - but dramatically improved the quality and duration of my relationships.
I used to believe that anyone/thing had the potential to be great - and (like me) all they needed was a little time to seize an opportunity.
This essentially meant there were no deal breakers and I spent a lot of time giving people benefit of the doubt and investing a lot of time & effort supporting and trying to build on aspirations that would turn out to simply be fantasies I was indulging.
I still idealistically believe that everything/one has infinite potential - only now I know which problems are worth solving, which are purely for fun or a thought experiment and which should immediately be thrown out and refactored.
All the ambition in the world is void without drive.1 -
Oh great. I just DDoS'ed a service issued by the government by doing two parallel SOAP requests with a fricking 4 year old MacBook.2
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So there’s this SOAP api I have to use (not by choice, and not the only one i have to use) that returns a bunch of XML nodes to confirm the data sent made it and checks out - pretty standard stuff yea.
Now every once in a while it doesn’t respond (as far as I could tell) so today I wrapped a debug around the soap call, error handler and responses and threw a bunch of messages it’s way to try and force it not to respond in order to be able to put some decent error handling in place.
Well it wouldn’t fail.
100 messages .... all responses good
100 more.... all responses good
And then 100 more.... all respond with “x”, plain text not XML as expected!
Wtf is this shit!!!!!6 -
For fucking fuck sake I fucking hate those dense motherfuckers with professor degrees from university. Lazy shmucks.
How, HOW, can you, as a sentient human being, force anybody to use Netbeans for the fucking final project? Two SOAP services, two REST services and PHP for communication? In Netbeans!? WTF. You didn't even teach us PHP for fuck sake. Why can't I choose technology I'm using!?
And to top it all of, Netbeans is the worst IDE I've ever used. I'd rather kill myself with a spoon than use for even one more project. How can ANY TEACHER use it for lectures and tasks? Using it teaches you fucking nothing, because it's generating code for you. It makes you braindead when you just look at it. It's works like shit and looks like shit.
P.S.
I hope that devTea's swear-words blocker will have some fun with this rant.
16 -
Shaving with an old-style safety razor just rocks - that metal thing consisting of three pieces where a slotted, double edged razor blade fits in. With the good Russian Astra Platinum blades at 10 cent per piece where a hundred piece pack lasts for years. The whole thing can be fully dismantled and cleaned.
I can't understand why people use this modern overpriced Gillette shit at 2 EUR per piece that you can't even clean, with debris stuck in-between that starts to rot if you use the blade block more than once. Must be brainwashing by ads. Even worse for women who pay 50% extra for the pink version of that unhygienic shit.
Oh, and real shaving soap with a real shaving brush and not the canned aerosol garbage that doesn't really work anyway.8 -
Dear Hipchat, if you are going to implement an Autocorrect Feature, LEARN THE FN TECH LANGUAGE
if i type gradle i do not mean grade
if i type coap, i do not mean soap
if i type mqtt i do not mean mitt
and for f-shake hipchat is not "hip chat", how do you even mess that one up!
(feature now disabled)3 -
Oh for crying out loud. Master/Slave has been the defacto way to describe dependent interactions between electronics since the birth of the silicon chip. Even IDE used to implement it as a standard for running multiple devices over a single cable. Just because a handful of fresh faced 18 year old kids think the world owes them a soap box and a rock to hang themselves over, it does not mean the world has to bend to this oversaturated retribution complex that seems to be affecting every college student lately. Grow the fuck up.5
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Last year I changed jobs from a large multi-national to a small local agency (which happens to be run by friends of mine).
One of the reasons for doing this was that my work involved more office politics than *actual* software development, and had just plain stopped being fun.
Now, I am having fun again! An example?
For one of our clients we have to connect to (a lot) of third-party APIs. Often even SOAP APIs!
Now I hear you protest "But that is no fun at all! SOAP APIS SUCK!" Which is true, more often than not. 😔
BUT! My friend started an internal API-SNAFU Trello board. Every time you get bitten in the ass by some ill conceived fuck-up of an API, you get to add your complaint to the board.
Beside giving as something to reciprocally rant about, the board also serves a serious function: depending on the amount of fuck-ups an API has been known to make, the price for working with that API will go up.
Who said it doesn't pay to complain? 😀1 -
Programming against a SOAP api, developed by the client in Visual FoxPro. Their whole system is in the language.
10 seconds API calls are "normal".
Luckely our backend rarely needs to talk to it 🎉1 -
!rant
Dev walked out of the bathroom stall (I can only assume it was the #2), only washed one hand.
One hand under the auto-soap dispenser, then kinda rinsed the soap off. The other hand never got involved.
That seems weird to me.3 -
#whenProdBreaks
$data = ["some","predefined","data","set"];
// :/ this suddenly broke
//$response = $this->makeSoapRequest($data);
/**
Due to prod failure, Hot-swap soap for rest - don't ask how we took the same input, spun the shit out of the response and recreated the same data structure that the soap request made, but it works... and that's all you will ever have to know.
**/
$response = $this->makeRestRequest($data);
//process the response
$this->process($response); -
Management directed a 2-month project including 5 developers, 3 DBAs, plus Q&A to replace a SOAP service that retrieved data from a single table. End result, project lasted 9+ months, 5 spectacular failed 3:00AM deployments, and a WCF service that retrieved data from a single table. Justification? Management wanted to eliminate SOAP, because SOAP uses XML and XML is slow. Thank goodness no one opened up Fiddler to see how WCF communicates.3
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Covid-19 quarantine checklist:
> isolate yourself ✓
> wash hands ✓ // duuuuh
> work from home ✓
> buy normal quantities of TP ✓
> get attacked by a bat (from Wuhan?! O.o) ✓
> buy some favourite bar soap
> ...
W8 wut?!
Yeah...I saw a bat fly by the balcony.. I thought: oh, how nice, they never fly so close.. Wait...a bat?! Aren't bats supposed to start all this shiiii...O.O
Thoughts interrupted by a bat flap tap (sound it makes when it hits something) behind my back..
Quickly pull hoodie over the hair..and jacket hood to, just in case.. friend once got a bat tangled in her curly hair.. I didn't wanna test if straight but longer hair also make problems for them.. Some more flapping & scratchy noises (I think it fell on the umbrella) then nothing.. OMG did it die on my balcony?! How the fuck am I gonna explain a dead bat to the authorities who remove dead wildlife?! >Yeah, a funny thing happened the other day, I got a message from Wuhan and the messenger dropped dead on my balcony..< Yeah, this would totally work.. o.0 Anyhow, once the noises stopped, I turned around to check on it..but couldn't find it.. so I just hope it managed to fly away and I won't find it after 3 days in the middle of my apartment... o.011 -
Strap in...
- Previous employer
- 3rd party partner firm
- integration link between both over SOAP
- Both sides riddled with poor code and messed up political structures (partner firm CEO is an investor in my employer)
- Doing a deployment to update to https (I know)
- Keep http endpoint live
- Other side starts shitting itself
- Diagnose
- Not us
- feelsgoodman.tiff
- Get angry email
- Explain not us
- Back and forth
- Tell client it’s “irrelevant” on https issue, it’s their side that’s gone wrong
- Get angry reply with boss cc’d about how nothing is “irrelevant” for the client
- We all had to have a make up meeting and meal
- Client was calm and reasonable, all agreed we just snapped and it wouldn’t happen again
- 2 weeks later
- Their system shits itself again and suddenly we’re on the hook
- BA on my team (smarmy little bastard) constantly fucking me off
- Get so close to actually screaming and hitting him
So yeah. I don’t tend to hold that a job is more important to me than my dignity.
I have and will never hold my tongue for the sake of a job, I’m not gonna put up with people shouting / belittling / backstabbing etc. -
I was asked what are the disadvantages of using RESTful over SOAP, I couldn’t think of any - maybe having to access a legacy system? Any ideas?7
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Me: I should be doing this SOAP service thats is due thursday.
Mind: nah let's answer stackoverflow questions.7 -
Something isn't working, I play around with the code, and try all possible things in the code. Still it doesn't work. Spend a couple of hours reading each and every line but still in vain. Finally, I find out that I was editing the wrong file (same file at another location) the whole time!! This happened a couple of times when I was a newbie, one of my most annoying mistakes.
Lesson learnt: Now when anybody asks me to debug his code, I first edit/add a print statement to make sure this is the correct file. I thought I was being skeptical, but it has saved me a lot of time (mostly interns do this rookie mistake).2 -
We have to use a 20 year old API that is half assed and doesn't even work right every time.
Every three months the same discussion comes up why something doesn't work that relies on that API. I have to explain the situation over and over again... And then my boss starts to give 'solutions' which we already use or are utterly stupid... >.<
In case someone is wondering: SOAP API on a Windows Server 2003 with timeouts every few minutes and XML output in a language that is not English (even the tags!).3 -
Once i worked on an application which has very long form and submit to a soap endpoint (post). I felt my life was so pointless when testing after i made changes. So I automated the testing by generating post request so i can just run it.
I filled the user name with Brandon Boyd, Alan Turing or Ryan Gosling. And it increments like Boyd1, Boyd2.
Once my colleague found a bug, the data never get saved but all the boyds persists. He knew it was me, who uses that kind of name
My barbaric manager (was involved) kind of pointed his finger at me. I sweat a bit though i couldn't find logical explanation why Boyds stay. but turned out someone changed the sqlscript. -
Currents is back! Take DigitalOcean's survey on Open Source and get free Sammy stickers: http://do.co/currents-survey2
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And a big fuck you to sony mobile, I hope you die soon.
TLDR: sent a weeks old phone for repair to Sony, they asked 450€ because according to their "experts" chassis was bent and main board was busted besides the obvious screen and touch being broken.
It costed less than 400€ including vat.
Out of spite I ordered a replacement screen for 55€, and it's fucking working again, thanks a lot for the offer but I still can replace an lcd myself. Screw your warranty policies, you made a phone that slips like a wet soap.
I've owned xperias all my life, Arc, U, M, Z1 besides all the dumb phones manufactured by Sony/Ericsson.
Guess I'm finding a new brand very soon.4 -
It is really not so repulsive to see the poor asking for money as to see the rich asking for more money. And advertisement is the rich asking for more money. A man would be annoyed if he found himself in a mob of millionaires, all holding out their silk hats for a penny; or all shouting with one voice, “Give me money.” Yet advertisement does really assault the eye very much as such a shout would assault the ear. “Budge’s Boots are the Best” simply means “Give me money”; “Use Seraphic Soap” simply means “Give me money.” It is a complete mistake to suppose that common people make our towns commonplace, with unsightly things like advertisements. Most of those whose wares are thus placarded everywhere are very wealthy gentlemen with coronets and country seats, men who are probably very particular about the artistic adornment of their own homes. They disfigure their towns in order to decorate their houses.
— G.K. Chesterton, The New Jerusalem14 -
TLDR;
How much do you earn for your skill set in your country vs your cost of living?
BONUS;
See how much I & others earn.
Recently I became aware of just how massive the gap in developers earnings are between countries. I'd love to calculate a fixed score for income vs cost of living.
I know this stuff is sensitive to some so if you prefer just post your score (avg income p/m after tax / cost of living).
I'm not shy so I'll go first:
MY RATES
Normal Rate (Long term): $23
Consulting / Short term: $30-$74
Pen Test: $1500 once off.
Pen Test Fixes: consulting rate.
Simple work/websites: min $400+
Family & Friends: Dev friends are usually free (when mutually beneficial). Family and others can fuck off, even if they can pay (I pass their info to dev friends with fair warning).
GENERAL INFO
Experience: 9 years
Country: South Africa
Developer rareness in country: Very Rare (+-90 job openings per job seeker).
Middle class wage in country: $1550 p/m (can afford a new car, decent apartment & some luxuries like beer/eating out).
Employment type: Permanent though I can and do freelance occasionally.
Client Locality: Mostly local.
Developer Type: Web Developer (True web dev - I do anything web related from custom HTTP servers to sockets, services, advanced browser api's, apps & more).
STACKS / SKILLSETS
I'M PROFICIENT IN:
python, JavaScript, ASP classic, bash, php, html, css, sql, msql, elastic search, REST, SOAP, DOM, IIS, apache
I DABBLE WITH:
ASP.net, C++, ruby, GO, nginx, tesseract
MY SPECIALTIES:
application architecture, automation, integrations, db's, real time data, advanced browser apps/extensions (webRTC, canvas etc).
SUMMARY
Avg income p/m after tax: $2250
Cost of living (car+rent+food): $1200
Score: 1.85
*Note: For integrity when calculating my cost of living I excluded debt repayments and only kept my necessities which are transport, food & shelter.
I really hope you guy's post your results, it would be great to get an idea of which is really the worst / best country to be a developer in.20 -
Interesting coincidence. I have stared at this shower curtain far too long.. I MUST KNOW ITS SECRETS.
1 -
In uni
Lecturer: SOAP is insecure...
In interview: Any disadvantages you see with SOAP?
Me: The last i read SOAP is insecure. Im abit rusty with this knowledge
Interviewer: ahhh okay, SOAP is actually secure...
DAMN YOU LECTURER!2 -
My mother and my stepdad spent all their money on themselves. They even went to Finland once, not bringing me with them, and do you know what they brought me as a present? A bottle of dish soap. I was the one to wash all dishes for the family of five.
Yeah.13 -
Who the hell returns a SOAP response with a CDATA node containing a text string that is a concatenation of XML document?
Someone hates me...
5 -
Just been watching some police soap on YT with "real police officers in action". Haha, yeah.
Huh, what's that outside, flashing blue light? Oh, a police car. No, two. Three. Actually, four. All of the guys rush into the neighbour house, WTF. Real police officers in action. -
Did some changes and raised a code review. Some lines' indentation don't align. The senior dev (reviewer) asks me to format according to the project scheme.
Changed all tabs to spaces; lines don't align.
Changed all spaces to tabs (with a heavy heart); surprisingly it still doesn't align!!
I'm like okay, let's dive deeper.. Found that the surrounding lines were indented this way: 4 spaces followed by a tab..!! SERIOUSLY!?! WHY? HOW? I mean how does this kind of shit happen?!
Worst part -> getting ship it after following the current convention! -
I'm currently between jobs and have a few rants about my previous job (naturally). In retrospect, it's somewhat therapeutic to range about the sheer brainfuckery that has taken place. Enjoy!
First, let me set the scene: legacy B2B web app made with LEMP stack and sencha ext.js 3 + 4 (don't ask) and a lot of madness. Let's call that app "Alpha".
Alpha is a self made CMS build for typical ERP stuff. Yes, a self made CMS: entities are containers, containers have types and fields and values. Like so many legacy PHP apps, it does not have a dedicated FE: the HTML is rendered on the server and then spewed out to the browser.
Easy right? Coding like it's 1999! But there was a twist: Because everything is basically a container, the HTML-templates are saved in the DB. Along with the nessary JS and the CSS. And the translation variables. Why? Because fuck you! That's why. Who needs a git history anyways.
For some reason, Alpha was kinda slow.
There was also an editor, that allowed you to modify templates (web, mail, pdf) on the fly in prod. Because templates contain repeating data (header/footer), one template could contain additional templates. Much confusion. You could change templates via migration (slow, boring) or just ctrl-c/ctrl-v that sucker (fast, much excitement).
Did I mention Alpha was slow?
On with the rant: e-mails! How do they work? Noone knows. How to send mails asynchronous in PHP? Witchcraft is the only possible answer to that riddle. Here is your enterprise™ solution:
1. create mail
2. insert mail into DB
3. WAIT UP TO 59 SECONDS FOR A FUCKING CRON TO SEND MAIL
Why? "Because that way, we can resend mails in case the network is down :)"
Same procedure for the SOAP-API (db-queue + cron). You read that right: all requests to various other systems are processed once a minute.
Alpha slow.
Alpha was only one of several systems. Imagine a bunch of monolithic php apps, interconnected via SOAP, REST and GraphQL like a godamn intergalactic orgy. Image having to debug that cluster fuck.
Let's say there is a bad request. These things happen. No biggie. Remember the db-queue? Let's try to send the bad request a second time! And a third time! Still no luck? How odd. Let's create a specific file in a specific directory: a LOCK-file. Now, "the db-queue is on hold and no request gets processed :)"
Golly gee thanks Alpha.
Anyhow, did you know that MySQL has a join limit of 61 tables?
3 -
anyone else, when reading documentation to some API, and you come across section titled "doing [whateveritis] via SOAP", you just laugh "hahaha, no way, sweety", and scroll past that section as fast as possible? =D1
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How can a shitty student information system that already costs $20k/yr have an optional shitty SOAP API module, that only allows read access to records, that has an initial setup fee of $5k plus $5k/yr?!5
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Discretion is advised
I had a bizarre nightmare where I wake up tied, my head inside the glass cube, my eyelids stitched to my eyebrows so I can’t close my eyes, and then @rutee07 pours drain cleaner into that cube, through immense pain I feel my eyes turning cloudy and skin on my face turning into soap, meanwhile drain cleaner goes down my throat
And then I woke up. This dream was the reason behind my dice game liquid PH rant I posted not much earlier.3 -
It was the last year of high school.
We had to submit our final CS homework, so it gets reviewed by someone from the ministry of education and grade it. (think of it as GPA or whatever that is in your country).
Now being me, I really didn’t do much during the whole year, All I did was learning more about C#, more about SQL, and learn from the OGs like thenewboston, derek banas, and of course kudvenkat. (Plus more)
The homework was a C# webform website of whatever theme you like (mostly a web store) that uses MS Access as DB and a C# web service in SOAP. (Don’t ask.)
Part 1/2:
Months have passed, and only had 2 days left to deadline, with nothing on my hand but website sketches, sample projects for ideas, and table schematics.
I went ahead and started to work on it, for 48 hours STRAIGHT.
No breaks, barely ate, family visited and I barely noticed, I was just disconnected from reality.
48 hours passed and finished the project, I was quite satisfied with my it, I followed the right standards from encrypting passwords to verifying emails to implementing SQL queries without the risk of SQL injection, while everyone else followed foot as the teacher taught with plain text passwords and… do I need to continue? You know what I mean here.
Anyway, I went ahead and was like, Ok, lets do one last test run, And proceeded into deleting an Item from my webstore (it was something similar to shopify).
I refreshed. Nothing. Blank page. Just nothing. Nothing is working, at all.
Went ahead to debug almost everywhere, nothing, I’ve gone mad, like REALLY mad and almost lose it, then an hour later of failed debugging attempts I decided to rewrite the whole project from scratch from rebuilding the db, to rewriting the client/backend code and ui, and whatever works just go with it.
Then I noticed a loop block that was going infinite.
NEVER WAIT FOR A DATABASE TO HAVE MINIMUM NUMBER OF ROWS, ALWAYS ASSUME THAT IT HAS NO VALUES. (and if your CPU is 100%, its an infinite loop, a hard lesson learned)
The issue was that I requested 4 or more items from a table, and if it was less it would just loop.
So I went ahead, fixed that and went to sleep.
Part 2/2:
The day has come, the guy from the ministry came in and started reviewing each one of the students homeworks, and of course, some of the projects crashed last minute and straight up stopped working, it's like watching people burning alive.
My turn was up, he came and sat next to me and was like:
Him: Alright make me an account with an email of asd@123.com with a password 123456
Me: … that won't work, got a real email?
Him: What do you mean?
Me: I implemented an email verification system.
Him: … ok … just show me the website.
Me: Alright as you can see here first of all I used mailgun service on a .tk domain in order to send verification emails you know like every single website does, encrypted passwords etc… As you can see this website allows you to sign up as a customer or as a merc…
Him: Good job.
He stood up and moved on.
YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
I WENT THROUGH HELL IN THE PAST 48 HOURS.
AND YOU JUST SAT THERE FOR A MINUTE AND GAVE UP ON REVIEWING MY ENTIRE MASTERPIECE? GO SWIM IN A POOL FULL OF BURNING OIL YOU COUNTLESS PIECE OF SHIT
I got 100/100 in the end, and I kinda feel like shit for going thought all that trouble for just one minute of project review, but hey at least it helped me practice common standards.2 -
I have nothing against freelancers but this guy... He stinks. He is literally smelly. I don’t think he owns a shower, soap a toothbrush or a shaver.
He looks and smells like he belongs on the streets. And i have to work with him :(
Worst of all is that is is owning way more then i am.2 -
I am forced to work with a client's notoriously slow SOAP api. Slow in this case is 1.5-2s per request.
The api is structured rather... creatively... at the same time. So we have to bombard it with thousands of requests to build our data base with historical SOAP data. Also the data sometimes is a couple of hours late, giving a flat line (all values at 0) until retroactively fixing the output for the same requests.
So to fill one dev data base with a year's worth of historical data (nice to have when testing a dashboard application) we hammer the api with ~20k requests (~1 million if we want to be thorough).
Best thing about that: There is no staging/test api and the prod api seems not to handle lots of requests at the same time very well...
Latest thought: Maybe we could put a varnish cache in front of the SOAP for testing. Better have wrong data, than nothing at all and we don't kill the prod clients every time we ramp up a new instance.
Also that would dramatically decrease the 4.2 hours of data pumping to about 7 minutes after the first run. -
Working with a SOAP endpoint. I know it is some .NET server due to the style of stacktrace on exceptions. Nice, a framework where I can expect some type safety granted by static types. I build some xsl to transform the SOAP wsdl files into classes and structs to interact with the endpoint. Works out perfectly.
Plottwist!
Elements which are defined in the xsd/wsdl with maxOccur=unbounded and minOccur=0 should represent a simple collection of this type. Therefore does my implementation expect a collection of this type. But no. The shipped SOAP client in my stack ignores the definition and simply deserializes the SOAP response into T and not a collection of T.
Where the duck are the types when they are defined all over the place?2 -
Had to work with a SOAP API that was described by its WSDL to have a property called "ShoppingCart". Wasted two days trying to figure out what's wrong. The customer sent a screenshot of their backends input mask. It was then that I noticed that the corresponding label read "ShopppingCart". Yes, that's what the property was actually named.1
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I been using digital ocean to host my server for a project, but they seem to get shutdown because of DoS behaviour. I have no idea why. The server is doing some soap and rest communication and controlling a database.
To be fair the password was poor, but it was meant to be a fast way for four people to work on it at the same time.
But after the first shutdown, we rebuild the server and work on functions. Finish the work and went home. But in the server 9 hours of uptime with 2 of them unsupervised it was detected as DoS behaving server.
💻🔪2 -
Requests to a soap server were failing randomly. In order to contact the API provider, I tried to provide an curl example with the same payload and the error response. Yet when sending the payload over curl, the request worked just fine. When my application was building the request, it failed.
What. The. Fuck.
I checked and double-checked the request body and headers. They were identical.
Of course, no error response was returned by the API provider and, of course, they could not tell me how what error I caused in my request.
So I created a basic dummy server, installed wireshark and compared the payload when sending a request from my application and from curl to my dummy server.
It turns out: curl, if called in a certain way, automagically strips out newlines. The soap client kept them.
So that that shitty soap server crashed due to newlines in the message body!
Stripping out the newlines was rather easy.
Shame on you, your house, and entire family for letting it crash due to them!1 -
Every meeting that contains one or more of the following points:
- "I don't think it belongs in the meeting, but"
- "Didn't get the meeting notes"
- "When's the food coming?"
- "I know we've said no technical discussion, but..."
- "Why is he so strict, this is no fun meeting at all :("
- "I think it's unfair to include risk assessment, you blame US before XY is finished"
- "The admins / the Team XY / ZX didn't talk with us, so we don't talk with him / her / them..."
- "Why are we here?"
- "Why is it so bad when production is down?"
- "I didn't know we do security / audit checks... Why hasn't anyone told us?"
- "Not happening. I'm against it"
- "I don't want to work with XY - he doesn't do it like I want it"
...
I could add thousand more things here.
I had countless meetings where I really thought that I was an alien who got broadcasted in a comedy reality TV soap...9 -
I just spent a week of mails because some "huge" company wanted me to do a plugin for their software by consuming theirs "brand new SOAP WS"... its full of bugs, bad documentated and slow as hell. I regret the moment when i said yes to be part of this nightmare haha2
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Who in their right mind would do this / think of this....
Salesforce has the option use their API. Either via SOAP or Rest. At my work we currently use SOAP and I wanted to rewrite that to Rest. Fine, you would say.
Their Rest API uses oAuth, nothing fancy you would think. But those motherfuckers, per default have the option enabled that the refresh tokens you get via the necessary API calls are being marked expired the moment the API gives them to you... Then why the hell give them in the first place.
It took me 2 hours of my life to figure out, why in godsname all my refresh tokens were marked as expired. Fuck you Salesforce, I want those 2 hours back! God fucking damn it... I really fed up with this type of bullshit!! -
Fuckers didn't even give my account access to the fucking soap action I was calling after 3 weeks of email chains and other back and forth.
First the credentials I was given "we're fully set up" and now this BS??
Fucking test your live and sandbox environments work BEFORE you let your clients start their integrations.
And if they have issues, try to emulate the e-2-e test and prove you can complete the transaction yourself BEFORE emailing back 🤦1 -
Started out as an intern at my current employer, after a few months they made me create an invoicing system...
I should have said no.
I've had a lot of bugs with it in the past, but the data-loss one has been because I send a SOAP call to our (third party) accounting system and only if I get an ERROR do I log it....
Apparently, when you put line 1 before line 0, you get a warning, but no data is processed...
Had to write a script that updated 4 months of invoice data in one go, without errors, took me a fucking week...
Lesson learnt boys and girls, never let an intern make the fucking invoicing system!3 -
Him: "I'm updating a site and I'm trying to find the REST endpoints you put out to replace the SOAP services"
Me: "Send me a list of endpoints it's using and I'll tell you what the new ones are"
Him: "Here's a list of the endpoints. The ones I've found are in bold"
Me: "Here's the new list."
Him: "Why did you only fill out the ones I'm not using?"
So, FML, he sent me a list of everything in the WSDL and bolded the ones he "found" in his code. And I'm the asshole for getting frustrated that he wasted 30 minutes of my time. -
First rant here
Well thing is that my CS school did have teachers and half the grade was from a product presentation and half on teammates reviews.
My teammates mostly didn't have any idea what SOAP was. That was the theme of the project and we had to make a Webservice which they didn't even understood what it meant.
I spent one day from 8am to 1am trying to explain, in despair I ended up not sleeping, not eating, working 24/7 all the week and collapsing of exhaustion.
I was taken to the hospital, got back home but have lost time and had only implemented 3/4 of the functionalities.
The others (6) only did managed to make a basic GUI I would have to link myself. One of them, the project manager had done testing and lots of good stuff, made a 80pages report but the other 5 were shitty.
They all gave me the worst peer review grade but the manager, they got A I got C (ABCD scale).4 -
Today I spent 9 hours trying to resolve an issue with .net core integration testing a project with soap services created using a third party soap library since .net core doesn't support soap anymore. And WCF is before my time.
The tests run in-process so that we can override services like the database, file storage, basically io settings but not code.
This morning I write the first test by creating a connected service reference to generate a service client. That way I don't need to worry about generating soap messages and keeping them in sync with the code.
I sent my first request and... Can't find endpoint.
3 hours later I learn via fiddler that a real request is being made. It's not using the virtual in-process server and http client, it's sending an actual network request that fiddler picks up, and of course that needs a real server accepting requests... Which I don't have.
So I start on MSDN. Please God help me. Nope. Nothing. Makes sense since soap is dead on .net core.
Now what? Nothing on the internet because above. Nothing in the third party soap library. Nothing. At this point I question of I have hit my wall as a developer.
Another 4 hours later I have reverse engineered the Microsoft code on GitHub and figured out that I am fucked. It's so hard to understand.
2 more hours later I have figured out a solution. It's pure filth..I hide it away in another tooling project and move all the filth to internal classes :D the equivalent of tidying your room as a kid by shoving it all under the bed. But fuck it.
My soap tests now use the correct http client with the virtual server. I am a magician.4 -
SOAP. Was integrating a service provided by a telecom and it was written in SOAP. No easy RESt but fucking SOAP.5
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My last week of vacations. A brake on bussiness programing... lol
Monday:
Receive a phone call from a colegue:
Hi the equipment it not working.
Me: ( upset with the acuracy) reboot that shit!
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Me: 😲😨😵😱
Today (Thursday):
Collegue: The printer is not working!
Me: 😡 Im on vacation. Check the cable or try to reinstall the printer...
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Me: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
2 fucking hours later:
Collegue try to call
Me: Did not answer... 😡 Fuch this shit.
Colegue send text message saying that they had a problem on the video projector but its ok now..
Me: 😠😡😢😢😢
I'M ON V A C A T I O N3 -
If someone here reads on Medium a lot, this might be useful for you: https://producthunt.com/posts/...
This is my second browser extension and it's open-source. It lets you read all Medium stories for free. Hugs and / or bugs welcome! 😇3 -
Know what really grinds my gears?
People who refer to "ajax" as though it's a separate programming language, instead of what it is, which is an old shitty method in an old shitty library. What I do enjoy is people thinking it's dish soap. That will *never* not be funny to me.
Examples:
1. *generic job description*...5 years experience. Desired skills: HTML, Foundation, PHP, Ajax, Fortran, Assembly, Tagalog, smoke signals.
2. Someone in "marketing": "Do you know Ajax?"
3. Jackass in a coffee shop who uses moustache wax: "I'm an ajax programmer. Yeah I've heard of [any recent band], like twenty years ago. They suck."
Go die, and take ajax with you.2 -
I tried SOAP for the first time today. It wasn't bad. I had a client for the service built automatically instead of writing my own.
Why is SOAP dead?10 -
Took a half day for a dental appointment and got a root canal done. Still not as painful as the meeting this afternoon. SOAP vs REST discussion which developed into JSON vs XML. I am getting NOTHING done.3
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Many months into the project, we discovered that the client doesn't have a REST API for the data we needed from their side available at all - it's a legacy SOAP service.
I somehow got our Node.JS backend to do SOAP calls and use the XML results.
I'm not sure if I should feel proud or dirty at this point.3 -
Maintaining a C# .Net application as a Java developer
with a 30k line auto generated soap service.
Where each service gets its own objects...2 -
- Eclipse (especially when plugged in with any SCM, excluding Che)
- RichFaces / PrimeFaces (from the pre SPA era)
- WebLogic (how many times do you need to be restarted in a day? )
- SOAP (not a dev technology, but even as a protocol. Thank You Microsoft !!!)
- Struts (what were you doing at the same time as Spring ??? )
- GWT (how did this even find its place inside Google? )
Need more time a deeper retrospective of each dev tech I've come across :( -
Can anyone tell me if is normal a design department earn more than a IT department??? Am I crazy or this is plain stupid???10
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almost one entire day debugging why Soap Client gives some strange errors to find out that the 3rd party service we are calling is returning plain XML instead of a valid Soap message :(
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Dah. Have to integrate with a legacy, crappy, SOAP service with malformed WSDL and bugger all documentation.
SOAP should just be damn well illegal these days.3 -
I've been complaining for 2 years about working on a project with shitty external developers. Finally get another project done by internal developers and the architecture and decisions made were just as shitty. Like, there are Soap web services implemented solely for the web app ui alongside rest services for the mobile app. Now I'm left to maintain the failed attempt to correct the architecture 3 years ago and all the devs already left. Oh joy.
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Have a SOAP service but need REST service since it is in fashion?
Easy, make a endpoint and ask for the entire body of soap (yes, in xml) in body of rest request.8 -
SOAP in PHP is hell of a shit. I thought of generating code for an easier php client. Oh boy there is a SoapClient::getFunctions, a SoapClient::getTypes and a classmap option. Maybe one can script a little bit to generate class files.
After some fiddling I noticed fields missing in the classes that are present in the response. The missing fields are always defined in a parent class definition.
Google gave me this:
https://bugs.php.net/bug.php/...
What the fuck? Please? So simple to fix and 10 years later. TEN YEARS!!! Nothing.3 -
I am implementing an API. How do I know what to do? Read the docs! Unless... there's none on the website. Asked by email and they could provide a PDF, which contains some graphics which you're free to interpret ...
Machine readable description? Nope.
How do I get to know about updates to the API? *blank stare*4 -
There are few things I hate more in software development than writing mappings from shitty SOAP apis to JSON.2
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"I don't think anyone will mind if we update and make all old code incompatible."
- every reat/soap service the day after you finish development. -
Get told a colleague finished work on a new web service thing on Friday.
So I fire up SOAP UI. Get an error due to problems with a sql statement. Look through code, issues already fixed so I build the project ct add the new dll to the app, another error, this time a column included in a select statement that doesn’t exist in the table being queried.
Colleague is on holiday, there are no comments in the code and there’s no source control.
Boss wants to know if the column needs to be added, or whether colleague added it and then decided not to use it.
I think I have an idea what it is meant to happen, but my only exposure to this project is as a 30 minute intro, and we didn’t look at any of these parts.
And sadly I left my crystal ball at home today fml -
Sex worker, perfumer, scientist, circuit engineer, musician (regular or session), makeup artist, soap maker, graphic or ui designer, voice actor, track bike racer, runner, swimming coach (or running coach or bike coach), dietitian, paramedic, repairman, cook, veterinarian, animal shelter worker, teacher, electrician8
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eTime Xpress by Celayix Software
Quite possibly the worst time and attendance software on the market. The only reason the company is still using it is because the big cheese refuses to pay any per user fees for any product whatsoever.
It requires an installation of Ericom because all supervisors must log in to schedule employees and record hours for payroll.
Printing is a nightmare to support because you're essentially printing through RDP and all print drivers for everyone's assortment of crappy printers must be installed on the server.
The software supports SOAP API calls, but it can't handle more than three concurrent requests without barfing, so you have to code your application around that...
I could go on... -
Was a tad depressed yesterday and couldn't get any serious work done, so I start doing random chores to distract myself. Fixed my urxvt extension to correctly toggle fullscreen on and off, and then I remember that the reason I have a black desktop background is I couldn't stretch the terminal to cover the whole screen, so it looked weird.
Well, not a problem anymore, so let's have something more colorful. I have this image of the eastern veil nebula laying around, for no real reason other than I thought it looked pretty. Used to be my desktop background. Let's make it so once more, enable terminal transparency, turn opacity down to 82%; now I have something other than code and the void to look at.
But curious as to what this nebula is, I g*^gle it out. I don't believe in astromambo, but I do find it funny that it's in Cygnus, because that's a swan, and the mascot for my projects is a swan too -- not because of the constellation, but because I suck at drawing.
See, my mom is a sabuner, I mean soaper. She makes olive oil soap. And we had an old box of Nablus soap in the house, which we kept because it's pretty, and the front of this box had a picture of an ostrich, drawn in bright red. I tried to base my logo on it but it ended up looking more like a swan than an ostrich; I accepted my failure and decided then and there that this would be the mascot.
It's a multitude of little relationships between things I never really thought I could relate to one another. This is utterly random shit and it cheers me up.
Anyhoo moral of the story is nebulae are fucking cool.
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Enterprise projects can go to fucking hell. Clients are stupid ass morons. Zero fucking humanity in their money veins. OH LOOK THIS BUTTON DOESN’T WORK WITH OUR PROVIDED SOAP SHIT API. Oh really? I don’t give a flying fuck. Get that fucking soap from the ground and tell your external company to fucking start communicating like human beings. Fuck. A day will come when I will tell the fucking truth and I don’t care if that will cost me a workplace.
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I just published my second chrome extension: mediumship! It lets you read any story on Medium. Feel free to try it out at https://chrome.google.com/webstore/...
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Shit!!!!
Worst question I have seen around here.
I only had, at the moment, 3:
The first one was... unsignificant. Never learn anything important/relevant from him.
The second one didn't payed me for three months. I had to quit.
Still waiting for him to pay....... just being ironic his not going to pay.
The third one is bipolar and... well I already had stories shared here...so you can have a look.
I could say that I had another one. Is was my Father... best man in the world. My hereo. Learn the best things with him: Honesty, loyalty and Hardwork.
Sorry from any kind of mistakes on my writting. Long day and long night. -
We use MDD!! I coined this term one night after getting frustrated and having a lot of drinks. What's that, you ask?
MAGIC DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT
It's when you're working on a not-so-recent code base and are afraid to make any changes in fear of breaking things up. You've touched some modules, and now you restrict yourself to work only on those treating all others as a blackbox. Even if something can be achieved by a small change in one of the blackboxes, you still go for multiple changes in the modules you're familiar with! Such is the horror. You start saying that those modules work by some dark magic that nobody understands! -
Balance work and life? Recently? I’ve cut my number of friends in half. There’s been enough betrayal and petty bullshit to write a melodramatic soap opera.
I did have some work life balance once upon a time, but it’s been all work lately. Gotta get back to having some me time. Not all dev work necessarily. I’ve accidentally jumped in the real estate game with 2 feet.1 -
So.. I spent some non-trivial time trying to call a soap service via SSL in a java application struggling with SSLHandhakeException. I tried quite a few things with the certificates, none of them worked.. until we found out, that I added the right certificates to the truststore of the WRONG java :-/
Conclusion: when working with java cacert files, run
echo %java_home%
first (you can thank me later).4 -
Why the response to a SOAP request is a HTTP error?
It took me half an hour to find the reason of an empty response.
1 -
Things could be soo much better if I could just refactor this code to accommodate more than one web service... #soapmessages #devwoes
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Hey all,
I have a soap service delivering products from an ERP. I'm retrieving these products in a loop getting 20/req. The ERP has 5k+ products. Any advice regarding the best way to retrieve them all and quick would be most appreciated. -
Previous job I worked, we had a system for taking bookings. I may have made a slight miscalculation in implementing the payment api. Which resulted in people being double charged, undercharged etc. Tbh the payment gateway was ancient and we had to grapple with their SOAP API not fun. But just shows we all made mistakes, suppose it's how you deal with them, when they crop up that defines us as devs.
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I'm in need of advice. I reckon this is no stack overflow but that's probably for the best as I wouldn't feel as comfortable posting there as I am doing it here. So, back to the question: I'm currently working with legacy code, written in .NET 2.0. This code is responsible for calling upon PEC services in order to finally create personal smart cards. I was tasked with the job of creating a repository system that would allow the program to call on the old legacy services or the new ones without any distinction. We are talking about SOAP services in both cases. The issues is: the new service definition is comprised of soap policies. This wouldn't be a problem per se, with more modern version of the framework, but with .NET 2.0? Yes, it is. It doesn't support policies and signing the body with a certificate right out of the box. How can I manage this? I feel like the only way would be letting the proxy class do its thing up until the very last moment: intercept the SOAP request before its sent and modify it according to the specifications. But I reckon this is very bad practice. Is there any other way out of this?
Thanks for anyone that would like to help. 🙂6 -
Oh china, you always know how to snap me out of long stints of mundane and/or annoying, chore-esq work.
//...and letting me excuse a 10min, otherwise purely wrong procrastination down a current political rabbit hole
I gotta say, at least in china they are bold enough to put their image and identity on whatever they make... but in that 'im selling pseudo-sex, not because im sexy--just the opposite, so you know I relate' way.
Side note: i got an automated spam call survey yesterday*... it ot got to the 1st (of claimed 3) question.. which had a surprising amount of actual reiterations before looping... it was determined to get opinions(and totally incept the lemmings, soccer moms and politically ignorant into their stance, plus intense rage/disgust/dreams of standing on a soap box and fighting about this new issue they were totally unaware of.)... about this actively serving, politician's demand that china sell tiktok or totally stop allowing any operations/use on american soil... because of the heavily implied heinous nature of controlling and twisting society via media to it's explicitly declared communism... even directly called china, as a whole, communists, with impressive dramatics (and i coached public speaking hs and college kids then over a decade of business consulting, typically involving coaching vocals and implicit vocab)
I actually listened to it because it's what a typical subject, brought out of the koolaid fog, would view as ridiculously ironic(assuming they knew the actual, and therefore inherently ironic, def if irony... most dont. It's disturbing)... but it you have decent common sense, and dont emotionally view your entirety as wrong/broken/needing to be fixed in a cult-like manner, it's the oposite of irony. History of/and politics pull this crap all the time. It still works.
It reminds me of how my moniker, awesomeest, came about. In 3rd grade i realised that even adults, knowing they were chatting with an 8yr old, even if they knew/used the correct spelling of a, less common, term... if i misspelled it as if i thought it was right, theyd actually change their spelling to match (in perpetuity) albeit my vocab was easily high school level by then...likely at least in part to my flawless(aka blind/ignorant) demeanor of confidence that whatever i said/thought was totally correct, as a matter of fact. Not like the insecure ppl trying to prove something
I used to find it so comical... now it's just sad.
This bs automated political spam/manipulation is the modern version of i remember of kids farting in the late 90s... the culprit quickly accusing someone else of their offense, but even extra immature kids 25+ yrs ago figured that out... and even made the retort a catchy rhyme..."the one who smelt it, dealt it"
*i basically programmed in a counter attack/something akin to immature passive aggressive ' who"s really the one wasting the other's time and resources now?!? Ha!' ...odd numbers automatically go into a sort of echo chamber instead of ringing, with a manual escape to actually ringing/calling prompt built in.
I can listen in at any time without it having any effecf/sound too.
I'm curious if anyone participates in these minor acts of terrorism to complete an unrequested, intrusive, and human-less format of a proclaimed opinion poll? And if you do, are you honest? Why do you do it?
Annoyance at spam aside... the real victim I mentally mourn, and view it's method of demise akin to a cardinal sin (assuming religion...blah blah)... is the data! I <3 data... good, unobscured, not contrived, simple, pure, raw data... killed before its birth :'(
5 -
SOAP UI changed their icon in the latest update,
Still don't get the need of that
and i still remember the icon change of VS Code which was reverted shortly after1 -
I just tried to get support for a problem we're having getting accurate results from AdWords. Now I know why it's called Google ANALytics. With how complicated it all can be when you're trying not to overspend on AdWords, it's easy for people unfamiliar with it to get a "prison welcome".
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For folks who are participating in #Hacktoberfest this year, here's a good resource to keep tabs on everything that's on the table: https://producthunt.com/posts/...1
-
I've been since friday with my boss trying to implement bridge between an SDK of another company for Android and iOS (yes the project is in React Native).
Today I've managed to put all the code that is needed to make that bridge and made tests. But in order to test the SDK functions, we need the info that should be easy to request through a service... The service is made with soap, using a certificate .p12.
*No problem, follow the documentation and everything will be okay* I thought... Even the example request in the docs doesn't give a 200 response. And when we finally made a 200 request, it still returned and error code...
And this isn't even the best part. Today we talked to the person that has been collaborating with us, and even he says "Implementing with this company is always hard". Even their worker knows it!!!! -
First run of an import procedure in the production environment.
Spent all morning with an "Unsupported media type" error.
Finds out that the provided password was wrong and that the Webservice always return that message when there's an error.
Any type of error... -
What the hell am I!? I wonder if you guys can help me...
I've been programming most of my life but I've never actually been a developer by title or job role. I thought maybe if I list what I do and have done someone here could help? I'm sure there are more of you in a similar boat.
- C# and VB dev for some quick DBMS projects to help me understand and mine databases and create a nice simple view for project teams to show findings from the data to help make certain decisions.
- Automating a lot of my colleagues work with Python and if very restricted then just VBA macros in Excel and MSP. This did also include creating tools to gather data during workshops and converting the data for input into other systems.
- Brought Linux to the office with most team members now moving over to Linux with the peace of mind to know that though they do need to try solve their own problems, I can help if need be.
- Had to learn AWS and then implement an autoscaling and load balanced data center installation of a few Atlassian toolsets.
- Creating the architecture diagrams documentation needed for things like the above point.
- Having said that, also have ended up setting up all the Jira/Confluence etc. servers we use and have implemented so far whether cloud (Azure/AWS) or on prem and set up scripts to automate where possible.
- Implemented an automated workflow view in SharePoint based on SP list data and though in an ASPX page, primarily built in JS.
- Building test systems in PHP/JS with Laravel and Angular to help manage integration between systems. Having quite a time right looking into how to build middleware to connect between SOAP and REST API's, the trouble caused more by the systems and their reliance on frameworks we're trying to cut out of the picture.
- Working on BI and MI and training a team to help on the report creation so that I can do the fun creative stuff and then set them to work on the detail :)
Actually it seems safe to say that it seems that though I've finally moved into a dev office (beforehand being the only developer around) I seem to be the one they go to when a strategic solution is needed ASAP and the normal processes can't be followed (fun for someone with a CompSci degree and a number of project management courses under the belt... though I honestly do enjoy the challenges)
But I always end up Jack of all but master of, well hopefully some at least. let's not even get started on the tech related hobbies from circuit design and IoT to Andoid / iOS and game dev and enjoying a bit of pen testing to make sure we're all safe at work and at home.
As much as I don't like boxes, I'm interested to know if there is in fact a box for me? By the way, the above is just a snapshot of my last two years minus the project management work...2 -
Anyone knows if it is possible to do SOAP API with Javascript and bypass CORS, or work with it? if not **** this4
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A friend recommended Durrell's "The Alexandria Quartet" in 1982. I check it out from the library and read it. Over the intervening years I acquired a very nice softcover edition. Last Christmas I began reading it again. For some reason I was pissed off at the soap opera bassinet who haven't we bonked narrative that began the fourth book.
So I ripped up the softcover edition and threw it away. Now I'm re-reading the third book. I wanted to buy just that one. Except it's something like forty dollars. I learnt my lesson. Don't tear up good softcover editions of books just because you don't like them at the mo. It'll cost ya. -
it's sooo annoying. There are no sites that cover SOAP with JavaScript. I am only a junior dev and I have no way how to tackle this project. Why SOAP??11
-
Where have i been?
school > home > school > home > school > home
every day for 7 days a week.
Learning the Java Android API just finished learning about checkboxes and switches
my first school i started in when i was little got hit with rona (covid)
my sister's school 4th grade class got hit with rona (the whole class tested positive except for my sister's friend which tested negative Lucky by a strand of hair. if he wasn't in the morning annoucements then he would be sick)
didn't shut down the school to at least clean or did contact tracing just resumed normal work stuff
wearing a mask everyday to get a face breakout
the bathrooms and schools itself are getting damaged by devious licks which includes stealing and or damaging school property even taking bathroom toilets and soap / towel dispensers and selling or using them hmmm anyone else have anything thats worse than mine?2 -
Im going to shove their soapy WordPress plugin up their ass sideways.
Just had to reverse engineer a WordPress plugin communicating with a SOAP API.
Why? Because the stupid fucking retard company thinks "we do not support custom integrations at this time, only plugins for certain CMS and some external providers" IS IN ANY WAY AN OK THING? IT IS NOT.
And i am feeling ashamed for having purchased a WordPress plugin (100 bucks) just for reversing it. My server even has to Report to them as wordpress to get access.
So fucking typical for swiss companies
Edit: also, they state they DO support custom integrations on their main website :/ -
4 hours wasted due to a rather strange "scope poisoning" bug... it was really fucking strange.
Had to move the 5 lines of code, above where the error happened, to a private function.
The 5 lines just called an XLSX library which read a given file and returned an array. I don't know how but the thing somehow messed with my Soap client call one line below. The culprit must have been some IO resource handle which didn't get destroyed when in the same scope due to persisting object references..1 -
working on simple crud is hell of boring thing now, gimme more challenges SoS, apis, payment gateways stuff...I need them like narcos
-
Just talked to a Java dev that develops web apps with SOAP API's about testing. Talked to him about SOAP UI ...He didn't know what SOAP UI was. Is he f*cking trolling me or just a guy with the wrong job? I mean he seriously refused to have ever heard about it. Dafuq?
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When you write an extra markup just for mobile and after wasting hours you realise that you need to use the same ID on the elements of both versions on the same page thus ending up wasting all the effort.
I swear I felt like washing my brains with soap. Fuckity fuck !
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