If your manager is an asshole in unrecorded 1-on-1's, buy a dictaphone.

Me in an email: "This information was not shared with you for your entertainment, and yet..."
Translation: fuck you, you incompetent bint.

I've been gone a couple months. On a secret mission. TOP SECRET.

Can anyone tell me what it was?

Where my homies at?

Everybody atheist till it’s time to upgrade bios

The only reasons I'm with my current employer is because;
1. I interview bad
2. Too lazy to update my CV

One of these days...

Incompetence. Incompetence everywhere.

My wife went to do some work for a charity. They "got her the best computer available". It was a poor mangled MacBook whose better days were somewhere in the dawn of the last decade.
She tries to type anything... and only gibberish appears on screen.

She comes to me, absolutely me puzzled. I try to type anything... gibberish. I boot up in safe mode, everything is OK.

I look around for system configs... there is a custom keyboard mapping enabled by default.
We check the weird stains on the keyboard... they are regular and in all keys. Like if there used to be adhesive stickers on the keys, and those stickers were later removed.

I boot up again... and type "q". It becomes "a". I type "w". It becomes "b". I dread typing "e". Sure as bug, it becomes "c".
By the love of byte, someone asked for a custom keyboard layout... IN FUCKING ALPHABETICAL ORDER.

It was easy enough to change the layout after that, but the weirdness continues: my wife asked around, and apparently the laptop used to belong to some old dude... who was convinced there were characters missing from his keyboard. Apparently he could never find them in a regular QWERTY layout.

I wish I could give some encouraging words for the kid who came up with the solution. Working around technophobes is a drying art, that needs to be rewarded.

Anyone else just randomly hit Help > About on programs when you’re bored?

If ChatGPT calls my problem a "classic" or it's solution a "subtle quirk of <framework>" one more fuckin time I'm gonna be the first human to murder an AI

Finished Napoleon Cat!

Your tasks are going slowly, let's have a meeting about it

When Russians talk about someone who is still a part of their group but is shunned, they use the word нерукопожатный — literally “nonhandshakable”.

New JoyRant build (38) with a new feature:

Every user that you see in a rant will be stored in a list which can be used for @mentioning and viewing the profile.

https://devrant.molodetz.nl/IMG_529...
https://devrant.molodetz.nl/IMG_529...
https://devrant.molodetz.nl/IMG_529...
https://devrant.molodetz.nl/IMG_529...

Sometimes you just don‘t remember the exact name of a user and hopefully this feature will help.

It might also be a nice summary of how many users are active.

We had a teambuilding last Friday. We went indoor karting and it was a lot of fun. My project manager does not have a driving license and it did show.

The karts have a boost button (electric karts) and my project manager used it before a turn and then slammed into wall. Now he got a few bruised ribs haha

Also, it's still funny to me that I was part of the teambuilding during my resignation but i'm not gonna complain about that. :D

Project Managers will ask six figures salaries to whip an entire team of developers because it's fundamental to add AI to a fucking toilet by the end of the week, then walk around like they understood everything about life. Given how that's what they do for a living and we're not currently gunning them down on sight, I can't say they're entirely wrong.

I did it.

Had my final exam today.
Presentation and technical project defense both A-!

I'm officially now a certified IT specialist for application development.
(Rough translation from German "Fachinformatiker für Anwendungsentwicklung"

Signing the contract tomorrow and genuinely looking forward to the future for once.

TIL: mechanical click of a touchpad is now managed by os in new lenovos. Suspend os and you can no longer click your touchpad.

Not tap. Click.

Wtf..

We just hit the 1 million mark on the Stop Killing Games EU initiative! 🥳

https://www.stopkillinggames.com/

What kind of music are you listening to while coding?
Is it instrumental or lyrical?

Sometimes songs with lyrics districts me

i ain't gonna build a tetris game for a code test for a job that might force me to work in the office. fuck that shit. code tests are a retarded way of assessing candidates.