How do you even come up with shit like this?

My linkedin profile = ~7 years as an iOS developer. All of my job titles are "iOS Developer", "iOS Engineer" or "Mobile lead".

Recruiter: Hi, your profile looks great, I have a number of open roles matching your skills. Would you be free for a call to discuss your salary expectations, skills, what you are looking for etc.

Me: Hi, sorry I don't have time for a call right now, here are answers to your questions. Can you send me on any iOS job specs you have and i'll review. <answers>

Recruiter: Sorry I have no open iOS roles at this time.

Bitch ... ima find you and make you understand

Today my sister told me "bro, I want you to teach me how to program". My gf told me the same some months ago

So proud of my girls 😍

Technically it ain't wrong

I just earned a badge on StackOverflow, let me quote it:

"You've earned the 'Tumbleweed' badge (Asked a question with zero score, no answers, no comments, and low views for a week) for [title]"

... Bruh, am I supposed to be happy now?

Oh well

So my college has Apple iMacs and this is the pain I have to go through everyday.
Why can't they just clean it at least once?

Our CTO is fucking amazing. I've never worked with someone who is as technical as their title implies, experienced, and sharp. Usually, they are experts but aren't sharp anymore or their skills deterioated as they focus more on management.

But this man, wow, he looks like an Egyptian pharaoh and he's incredibly smart. I can really feel my lack of experience when I talk to him.

Not to mention that he's extremely busy and worked more maybe 12 hours every day including weekends. He's often in a call with some other people with different issues. I just can't imagine how he got to that point. He's very calm and stoic and all that shit that I'm not.

I'm a fan boi, I can't believe it. You're awesome, dude. Give me your genes.

Sudo trees

I found a healthCheck function while troubleshooting an old application for a large auto manufacturer today. The healthCheck function was running several times a day on a timer. The function tries to insert a record into the database and returns whether or not it was successful. It was written in 1999 and has to date inserted over 2.5 million records into the database! 1/3rd of the data for this application was the same record.

How the hell did nobody notice this for 20 years!!!

4000 years later, we are back to the same language

Can we do that??? 😶

“We want a new website, but not in HTML, we need Wordpress.”

Oh you poor client...

Me:
Please save as pdf and send me by mail.

My Mailbox: PDF.docx

#Girlfriend

Why😂😂😂😂

1. Move to new house
2. Setup electricity account to auto-pay every month
3. Wait
4. Receive "disconnect" notice from electric provder
5. WTF
6. Call. Oh, yeah, our website doesn't tell you that you have to pay your first month's bill before you can setup auto-pay. It's in the fine print.

Okay people, here's my rant - if you manage a website that supports auto-pay and you're not PREVENTING your customers from signing up for auto-pay until there is a $0 balance in the account, then you're doing something wrong. Don't let your customers think they're about to loose their electric service because of a frontend guardrails issue.

Wait a fucking minute! C# has 4 + symbols in it! Plus signs are combined into a # symbol!

C -> C++ -> C++++

I see it now 🤯

!!good news
!!great news
!!linux dev lappy recommendations?

So, @Root might finally have a job! Woo!
(Pending a background check, drug test, cavity search, ...)

I'm excited, and kind of giddy. It's an open-office setup, but the devs are chill, the boss is chill (reminds me a bit of myself thus far, just... nice), pay is decent too. Drive is hell, but everything else feels kinda cushy. The parent company is super-stuffy corporate and has an HR and red tape fetish, but supposedly I won't have to interact with them at all. I start as soon as all of the background check nonsense comes through. (Don't get me started on that, please.)

One of the questions that came up, however, is what type of system I wanted to use. I requested a Linux lappy, and that's sadly a bit beyond the parent company's nontechnical IT department. They asked me for links to a few specific machines on amazon for options. (MacBook Pro or equivalent)

That's where this question comes in: Which lappys make great dev machines and also have decent linux (Debian/Mint/Ubuntu) support? The role is backend Rails development + some devops, so I don't need super-fancy graphics, though I will be attaching a 4k (hopefully IPS) display because space and pretty colors.

Recommendations welcome, as I should get back to them today!

I HATE when websites ignore your browser language and use your IP address to set the language instead

I was in second year of university, and one of my teachers had a company, so he hired me.
The project was for our Lebanese army, the department where they monitor news.

What's required was to create a desktop application that records a UDP stream carrying over a 100 tv channels. And at the same time display them in a grid on the main screen, where the user can select which channels to watch, also which one to hear + fullscreen capability + scheduling a recording + being able to reverse through this live feed

I had little knowledge in multimedia streaming and multiplexing (the art of cramming multiple videos in one stream). So I had to read a lot, and learn how that works, in order to write a decoder, a recorder, and the application. Also the stream itself had issues, the audio would break up, some channels had translations, weird encodings, etc... Plus the pc they were running all of these on was very bad. Multimedia encoding and decoding is really hard on a cpu, so I had to work around that...

After a few weeks I pulled it off, and my boss was happy as fuck, since 2 people before me have tried and failed miserably. But the captain I was developing this for was a pain in the ass. Requirement changes started pouring in like rain + they had technical issues with their signal, which affected the quality of the stream beyond what software can fix.

Fast forward, my boss eventually got fed up with the bs, and as always, decided to blame it on me. I wasn't paid 2 months, and he worked towards making me fail university, which I didn't cause I'm a lot smarter than 90% of those motherfuckers. But he did lay a lot of obstacles since he had high reach in there.

To this day, after 6 years, I still think this was my craziest project. And although that guy was an asshole. I'm pretty sure it's that project that made me who I am today.