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I know I should not be naming names but WalmartLabs Hackfest 2016 was actually a fuckfest. It was supposed to be a 14 day online hackathon followed by an offline event for top teams. I got in top 6 among the 4350 participants.
In the offline event:
1. They didn't allow us to give live demo of the project. Instead they asked us to present a ppt. The HR idiot even asked me to take screenshots of my cli app and put that in instead.
2. 4 out of the 6 teams actually presented their startup products. It was supposed to be a 14 day hackathon for fucks sake. How can you present some shit that you were working on for the last 1.5 years! This one team literally had "Copyright 2015" mentioned on their product page. This another team had 100,000+ downloads on his app already. Of course Walmart didn't care about it. They didn't listen to my complaint. I wish I had created a scene there :( Another team was boasting on stage about how they got selected in the FB startup accelerator and how they won 3 more hackathon (evidently equally shit) using their shit. This was met with praises from the judges.
3. The results were declared after 3 fucking months! Don't organize this shit next time if you don't have any interest, bitch.
4. The code was supposedly never checked. Other teams kept working on their shit for the 3 months in between. In the live presentation, this guy even had photoshopped a feature which wasn't even present there (and he boasted about it later on).
5. Hackerearth (platform for the hackathon) was equally incompetent in this mishap of a hackathon. One of the teams which won had one the previous hackathon (Pluralsight hackathon) as well on Hackerearth using the same fucking product. What pieces of shit >.<
6. The hackathon was supposed to be tech based and all the categories were like that. Instead the teams presented business models and shit like that and judges focused more on that. They were not concerned about the technical aspects at all. The more noise you made, the more lies you told, the better chance you had to win it.
7. They were supposed to give prizes in 4 categories but silently reduced it to 3 on the event day. They still publicised it as 4 prizes until now.
All of the above is true and I am willing to testify if someone asks for it. I am going to write a nice blog post about it and post it to their idiot HR.
Hackathon: WalmartLabs Hackfest 2016
Team name: psyduck (which is just me)
Sorry for being too salty but it was indeed a fuckfest.16
C: application not working
Me: k. What changed?
C: we didn't make changes
Me: k... *gets a tech team (W) on the phone*
W: Hey, what's broken?
Me: C's application. How do things look?
W: running healthy. I'll check logs.
Me: thanks. *gets tech team (S) on the line*
S: hey, everything clear on our end, will check logs.
Me: thanks *gets tech team (U)*
U: hey! They asked us to deploy their new version today during normal deployment time. Is it acting up?
Me: C, what did you change?
C: nothing major, just how we connect to W and S...
W&S: are you shitting me???
Me: U, will you please roll it back?
C: no! Must stay on this version, you need to fix your side!!
Me: nope. *calls U boss (UG)*
UG: U, you have my permission to roll back, they need to fix. C, if your boss doesn't like it, have them call me.
*rollback fixes problem*
IF I FUCKING ASK YOU WHAT THE FUCK YOU CHANGED, YOU BETTER TELL ME THE TRUTH, OR I WILL STRIP YOUR CODE OFF OUR FUCKING SYSTEMS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT. MY JOB IS TO HELP YOU AND YOU NEED TO BACK TO FUCK UP AND NOT GET IN THE WAY OF MY JOB OR YOU WON'T HAVE ONE ANYMORE.11
Watched the Winter Olympics opening ceremony where they have 1200 drones flying in unison to make amazing shapes in the sky with lights. Truly astonishing. It took a large team weeks / months to prepare.
BBC commentator “wow that must have taken someone hours”
Fuck you you dumb fuck ignorant cunt. It’s oxygen thiefs like you that put so much pressure on dev teams to do monumental tasks in ridiculous amounts of time.
If you don’t understand what you’re talking about then don’t talk!9
Git makes it easy to search through historical changes they said. Git is amazing when working in teams they said.
It sure is.
If your coworkers do not commit every time they burp or fart, do not use "🚀" or "✨" or "fix" as a commit message, and do not push all their shitty experimental broken branches without cleaning up.
I'm surprised there are no piles of fecal matter behind their desk chairs.18
We have new scrum master. First meeting together.
- I would give them time to wensday (2 days away) days to do migration
- delivery is in Tuesday. can we have two teams to work on it so it will be done twice as fast?
- do you really think that if you get 9 women pregnant they would deliver you baby in a month?7
This is why I love working where I work. I worked extra hours until 9pm to get an ITest environment ready for one of my customer teams. I came in this morning to a little prezzie and a thank you card signed by the entire customer team. This is what awesome culture looks like.12
*only developer at firm and client comes in to discuss building a website on a 4k budget*
"Ok but eBay does it, cant you just do it like eBay?"
Oh eBay who has teams of developers....and a huge budget to afford these developers.....that eBay?4
No matter how much we complain about our programming language, our bosses, our co-workers, our teams, or anything else....
We'll never trade our Profession (coding) for any other job in the World.
That's How We Roll.
Spent most of the day debugging issues with a new release. Logging tool was saying we were getting HTTP 400’s and 500’s from the backend. Couldn’t figure it out.
Eventually found the backend sometimes sends down successful responses but with statusCode 500 for no reason what so ever. Got so annoyed ... but said the 400’s must be us so can’t blame them for everything.
Turns out backend also sometimes does the opposite. Sends down errors with HTTP 200’s. A junior app Dev was apparently so annoyed that backend wouldn’t fix it, that he wrote code to parse the response, if it contained an error, re-wrote the statusCode to 400 and then passed the response up to the next layer. He never documented it before he left.
Saving the best part for last. Backend says their code is fine, it must be one of the other layers (load balancers, proxies etc) managed by one of the other teams in the company ... we didn’t contact any of these teams, no no no, that would require effort. No we’ve just blamed them privately and that’s that.
Other teams in my company are working with Angular 4 and NodeJS and my team is here working with JSF and Java 1.5.8
More robots have arrived! (Teams 5024 and 6856)
Conveniently, one of our robots is putting out smoke and the other has a bunch of broken sensors.29
It would be fun to answer "myself", but I'm a terrible boss.
As a freelancer you're also helpdesk, finance and marketing of your own little company, and I'm horrible at those things.
My current boss lets me boss myself within the company, while I still get to enjoy the luxuries of company life — completely shielded from annoying questions, with a stable predictable income.
I do believe that's the optimal structure: Hire people who can manage themselves, and have a drive to improve the company with minimal oversight.
Don't have true "bosses" at all, just some people who are good at bridging communication gaps between the islands of self-reliant teams.2
You know what would be a great project? A reality TV show, like "Hell's Kitchen" or "Bar Rescue", but instead we come to companies and help their development teams. 😛9
We have completed our robotics competition in 6th alliance out of almost 200 teams!
Thank you guys for the wishes of good luck and the encouragement!
We are most likely moving straight into offseason due to us currently sitting 1 point short of progressing to the final competition.
Although we most likely will not progress, I can guarantee that some amazing projects will come out of our new found free time.
I recommend keeping an eye on the comments, as I will be posting an update on our standings and our future once scores are finalized.
And, good luck to all other FRC members here!8
Bus-Factor: A new metric to describe how well kowledge is distributed among the team members by calculating how many of your team members can be run over by a bus without killing your project!6
Just spoke with another teams developer. (She's using Java)
Her: so we get a json object from your service, I want an array
Me: well that's not what you said in the specs... And it's not hard since it's just a Map
Her: what Map? It's JSonObject I need an Array
Me: give me the library your using..
I Google the documentation and methods and paste the link and the methods to use:
-length (she also wanted count)
This ain't JS, just use the . operator and go thru all the methods' docs... Or learn to use Google8
My workstation at incubation center, where i am currently incubated.
Finally got multi-screen desktop. Though monitors are prone to theft by other teams
PS - Laptop is for gaming7
Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm, with toilet breaks, snack breaks and a three hour nap on Sunday morning. Roughly 44 hours. It was a hackathon, Nov 2016. My team came in fourth place and the first three teams went to Germany!
Well, I got a well paying attachment from it so it didn't go all to waste.
Me and my laptop then...1
How I feel working with code that's been worked on by at least three different teams at three different companies over the past couple of years and not a single person has left any comments or documentation.6
In college, teacher teams us with other guy,
I tell him to do backend coding in JS
He says: Dude, What is JS?
Slack: A tool for teams to collaborate and work efficiently
Slack: A way to share memes at work
Advice... Don't open slack at work 😂3
Asked my boss if I could get a promotion... He said I will get the job I deserve and make me CNEO.
When I asked what this is about, he said "Chief Nullpointer Exception Officer"....1
Project coordinator blames our team because client said we failed to "align" with other teams.
What the actual fuck.2
Just thought it was funny the differences in these teams. If you did a line up of them us PHP developers world definitely be pegged first to die of a heart attack or stress.
When I get back I'll def have to take a pic, it's really priceless.12
Group projects in computer science usually go like this for me:
Me: Want to be in a Group?
Group member: sure
Me: okay, we can discuss the project and start coding some stuff tomorrow
Group member: I don't have a laptop, won't get one till two weeks
Also me: fuck off
TL;DR: a good friend recently finished building an electric car from scratch with a team and I bought him a C++ devDuck as a congratulations gift!
one of my best friends recently presented at my colleges capstone rollout, and his teams project was to literally BUILD AN ELECTRIC CAR FROM SCRATCH. all the circuits and everything, designed from scratch, and nobody else on the team was very good at software, so he pretty much wrote the software himself. I just ordered him a C++ devDuck as a congratulations gift!8
We use MS Teams and I started a new team for the contract renewal. My preference was to continue with the old one for files and searching. I am the “owner” and the PM is the “owner”. Everyone else is a “member”. Owner means admin. The executive sees that she is a mere member and demands the PM add her as an owner. He makes her an owner. Then she decides that she outranks is and should be the only owner. We discover this because we can’t on-board a new person on the team or configure build notifications or GitHub code review notifications.
Basically the executive has stopped the team from using Teams because her ego tells her that she is the one true “owner.”8
I asked my manager for a compensation adjustment today since my peers at the same tenure and experience as me were making $30,000 more than me. They said no since I haven't worked on any big projects yet and the projects that were big enough, I didn't do it by myself so they don't count.
I'm not sure if they know how software teams work... I'm pretty sure we make software for TEAMs...6
Just started my new job.
Poorly defined requirements ✅
Expecting things to be done yesterday ✅
Poorly managed teams ✅
Terrible legacy code ✅
Half the development team is offshore ✅
Maybe I’m just selfish, but I need to work in an environment that has the following
A good technology stack.
A competent manager/team leader.
Clearly defined documentation.
A proper onboarding process.
Why is this so difficult to find in organisations?12
About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.9
When you can't figure out where you are supposed to add your code in the teams massive android spaghetti codebase. So you just add logs to every function that might be related to track down the function you need.2
Do not hire a team of full stack developers such that the entire teams' core competency is back-end development and then wonder why they can't hurry the fuck up to design and build usable, device-friendly interfaces.
Hire a damned front-end dev.1
FOR FUCKS SAKE, CLEAN YOUR KEYBOARD!
Today we had some presentations on a class, I was near the projector, so I volunteered to control the presentation flow.
Fast forward three teams, arrives this guy, lets his laptop and and I open it... SMELLS, FUCKING SMELLS BAD. Add to that grease and dirt all over the keyboard... I just pressed the right arrow key with the bare tip of my finger...
It's not that hard to keep your workstation clean. Most of all, odourless.9
One of our dev teams has a tradition: after each post-sprint review one of the devs tells a wood joke. The lamer, the better.
So far the winner is:
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car?
A: Robin, get in the car
It's so dumb it's actually somehow even funny :)31
Okay, this is me panicking. We're switching to Microsoft Teams at work. This means that I will have to cut the Slack and switch to a fucking Microsoft solution for chat. Am I supposed to be worried?31
Spend 14 hours a week studying more with my free time.
Things to be studied:
-other relevant maths
Other things I want to improve:
-confidence at work
-reaching out to teams with questions
-enjoying the little things
-consistency (with everything above)
Last big thing would be being more conscious with what type of data/platforms I am digesting everyday. Just like a good diet I want to get in the habit of consuming “good” useful content that’s thought provoking or knowable rather than fast food social media carbs
Wish everyone a productive New Year!6
There's so many posts on here that say fuck apple or Microsoft only real programmers or computer users run Linux. Maybe step back and reflect why these companies got big. Maybe the programmers in their development teams are actually good. Maybe variety and competition and different focuses is good for us and consumers.19
So a company I'm working at has this internal product. I just got employed and was put into that team.
"First task: refactor some of the code"
Alright, I start refactoring. Oh I may need to write a small class for this one. And then rewrite this a bit. And then rewrite that a bit. And then rewrite everything.
"Why are you rewriting most of my code?"
oh i would not have needed to do so if your code was not COMING OUT OF YOUR ASS and if all the teams had FREAKING PROPER API DOCUMENTATION9
This was found when one of my teams old workstations was being pulled apart. Can't tell if genius or lazy.16
1. Scripting out a team. I've built a collection of bash scripts to do what one of our teams does. Except the script does it in 30min and always does it well where that team used to take 4 to 10 hours and almost always missed something in the way.
2. Automate 70-80% of our BAU tasks with a single >4k loc bash script. Integrations with servicenow, lots of internal portals, predefined huge sets of commands to run on separate servers or lists of servers, do all sorts of diagnostics, schedule hw maintenance for DC folks, chase for approvals, track CHNG/CTSK tickets in a graphical chart so we would not miss any of them and lots lots more.
Finally we were able to afford time to make some coffee/tea.
These are the bau optimizations I'm proud of the most. And they have made significant impact on how our teams operate.
Whoever recognizes both company values in the tags and know what is that company - are they still using ´S´ in unix team? :)1
Seeing there are many people (including me) that cant acces the hackathot, I thitk, it would be nice if we as community could hold an unoficial remote hackathon.
-5 days to code
-github / skype
-chess engines which have to compete eachothers to find the winner
-should be compatible with windows, linex, mac (either an interpreted language or different recompiled versions)
Tell me what you think in the comments23
Fond this gem in teams code;
Var temp = "",
Var tmp = "",
Var tmp2 = "",
Var tmpIDK = "";
Asked the creator only 4 hours after the commit what his code does. The answer; I have no idea, but it works, don't touch it.2
Things like that just don't happen on Linux...
Why can't I kill Microsoft Teams when it's frozen!? WTF Microsoft? This software is so lacking I can't even...17
I used to work in a company with such a high bus factor that we called "teams" composed of a single people "immortal" like in the movie "highlanders" because of the fact they could not be fired since they were the only people to know how their project works. We went through hard times for the company when several of the immortals resigned one by one. Each time one of us left premises on his last day, we played the song "Princes of the Universe" very loud on the office. I was the last and I left four months ago.3
My favorite thing is my nerf gun. In my office different teams are organized in different pods. You never know when a war will break out between the teams, you need to be able to defend yourself! Also not bad for getting someone's attention who has headphones on...3
Focusing. I'm part of two teams that use slack, office 365, email, jira, and Trello to communicate simultaneously. I'm expected to respond to urgent messages--so I'm in productivity-killing notification hell and it's really taking a toll. :(6
The whole Microsoft office suite is being rewritten in React.js
This. Is. Not. A. Joke.
This also includes Skype, Ms teams, all office programs on all platforms, AND, VS Code....
Guys, we have trully peaked... gg....13
I'm here to tell you the best way to learn anything about programming:
- Be 17
- Have a lot of projects to do (if it needs to use frameworks, better)
- Have the worse team
- Internet and a lot of free time to check documentation
PD: I hate teams7
In the past, we used skype, hipchat, slack and now ... Microsoft Teams. What a tool.
Yes Teams, it makes total sense to tell me that my message is too long. I totally get it that you want me to rewrite my message and yes Teams, I should have rather attached it as a file to my message to begin with. Yes Teams, I wait for you to finish uploading those files before I can send the message. I'm sure there would be disastrous consequences if you send the message with my attached files as soon as you finished uploading. I don't even want to be productive. Thanks for helping me out.6
Is sort of surreal. Going to a company that actually has teams, development cycles, QA department, code review, I feel like I've been winging it the last few years. Now I get to see where I really stand in the pecking order. But anxiety is definitely high. As soon as background check completes beginning of next week, will be submitting my resignation and heading west.2
I swear I could sell my layout debugging to sports teams and colleges and cities stuff, they could use them as flags!4
My company has about 6 devs divided into 2 teams, 3 mobile devs and 3 web devs. One day, a guy suggest us adopting daily stand-ups to know what everyone's working on. I guess our subscription for Jira is now useless.
Personally, as a bad employee, I usually come in 5-10 minutes after everyone, so I missed most of the stand-ups. It's boring, it's just people stand in circle and say what they did yesterday.
I ended up created a slack bot to post a message at a previous defined time to say what I did yesterday to the team. Jira | Trello | Pivotal Tracker are born for a reason guys...6
I hate Skype for Business with a passion. It's the most garbage useless chat program imaginable. It can barely send basic text chats without throwing an error, and it can almost never send an image without the upload failing. The fact that it can't even save conversation history for each of your chats within Skype is ridiculous -- it fucking saves the conversation as an email draft in Outlook. Come on Microsoft, why do I have to open a completely separate program to view conversation history?! Skype conversation history should be saved IN SKYPE! Fucking AIM was able to save conversation history. I've tried multiple times to get the company to move to Slack or Teams, and for some reason they think that Skype is a good program and they ignore the fact that it's completely useless. It's 2019, why are we using a program that's built like it's 2009? I swear they haven't updated Skype at all in the last decade18
So guys, for those of you that know what a burn down chart is, this is my teams, aka Front-end ONLY for end of March.8
Today I learned that the my new teams choice to use a mostly undocumented/unused framework over a well known/documented one was decided by a coin toss.2
I once saved lives sending cpr teams to heart attack victims through an sms gateway platform.
This was amazing considering it was back in 2008 ;)11
Does anyone want to take this stupid exam for me? I keep missing it on practice exams by 1 question. I'm sad. I know if i gave a damn about this material, i could do it. But i don't give a damn. It's required for my current position but I'm about to switch teams in a few months and will no longer need it.28
36.63% of the respondents said they’re not planning to use any new programming languages in the coming 12 months.
What about the tools?
Honestly, this was the hardest part of the report since it required very thorough data cleaning, and it turns out developer teams use a wide variety of tools, especially when it comes to testing and project management.24
When you are a mobile developer and your company has only 3 android devices shared between Mobile, Testing and Design teams :|
And all teams fight for the device time
What the fuckin fuck..3
Slack is scared as hell about Microsoft Teams that is targeted to enterprise customers.
Did you hear about the full page newspapar ad they did?... Passive aggressive move by slack5
Had to program an entire ecommerce site for both a city soccer league and baseball league. Around 50 teams each. No planning or anything beforehand. They gave me around 4 days to complete the project. Once everything was squared away, of course they complained and said that half of the teams were wrong. So I had to stay until around 11 pm in the office fixing everything that Friday night. Of course everyone said it was my fault. I blame it on the lack of planning.4
Motivating and helping each other by forming small teams/pairs of devs who look after each other. No one likes to code alone14
It's almost time to go off to another FIRST robotics competition!
Good luck to all the other teams and extra good luck (is that even a thing?) To the teams competing in a week 4 event!
In the meantime, I will be spending my last day in <city name> working on some auto code with @hyperlisk
On call at 2100. Call at 2101. Co-worker off at 2100, call at 2059. Neither were problems with our infrastructure. They were with the callers' teams fucking up.2
I used to work on a production management team, whose job was, among other things, safeguarding access to production. Dev teams would send us requests all the time to, "run a quick SQL script."
Invariably, the SQL would include, "SELECT * FROM db_config."
We would push the tickets back, and the devs would call us, enraged. I learned pretty quickly that they didn't have any real interest in dev, test, or staging environments, and just wanted to do everything in prod, and see if it works.
But they would give up their protests pretty fast when I offered to let them speak to a manager when they were upset I wouldn't run their SQL.2
In one of my teams there was this non-IT girl.
One morning, she asks out loud:
G - Can I run a Json?
Me - Wait! What are you trying to do?
G - I need to deploy my changes into the Dev server.
Suddently I realized what she meant.
Me- It's Jenkins! Not Json. :D1
A delicious Sprint Planning 😋
It was a hard sprint (SCRUM methodology), but finally we were on our next’s sprint planning meeting. We had a lot of tasks to define and estimate. For the first one, we all estimated the task with 5 points, and for the second one we voted for 3 points. We were coordinated XD so, our boss said “let’s do something, if all of you vote, let’s say, 5, and another votes for a different number, he or she’s gonna buy us a six pack of beer”. Challenge accepted.
Two partners and I have to buy beers for this friday after work 😂 I don’t even mad 😋🍻3
I try to convince my boss to choose Slack and not Microsoft teams.
What's your opinion on these apps ?14
Little #ad (Not annoying don't worry - it's a cool project)
Just wanted to let y'all know about the awesome project from the Stanford University named Folding@Home!
Basically you donate CPU/GPU power and they use it for researching cancer/alzheimer's/etc.
All you need to do is install some software on your server/computer.
Then the software downloads so called "Work Units" (no big bandwidth required - really small packets) and simulates/calculates some stuff. Afterwards the client send the results back to their server.
This way they are able to create a "supercomputer" that is spread all over the world.
You don't need to pay anything except maybe some increased electricity bills (but you change some settings to use only a little part of the CPU/GPU and therefore create less heat).
Of course the program only uses the CPU/GPU power that's not required by any other software on the computer. I can literally play games while the client is running. No performance decrease.
That's a short intro by me. I can suggest you to visit their website and maybe even start folding by yourself!
Also @cr78, @kescherRant and me are in a team together. If you want to join our team as well just use our Team ID:
Yup, there's this little stats site (https://stats.foldingathome.com) where all teams can compete against each other. Nothing big.
I hope I convinced atleast some of you!
Feel free to ask questions in the comments!
Me: This is going to be a big issue
Me: (X10) Raise same issue
Suddenly my Friday starts with two teams going "HEY THIS IS AN ISSUE!"
Me: No shit? I never would have guessed. See you when I get back from vacation!2
* No raise after one year, even that I don't earn that much
* Working in the oldest project
* Everyday I have to make quick fixes, usually requested by leader
* No spare time to rewrite shitty code - always something have higher priority (like doing some tasks that I shouldn't do, just because I had no tasks for next sprint)
* Got feedback from leader that I "hack" too much instead of writing code properly (see third dot)
* Every company around pays more and have more up-to-date stack
* The only guy that wanted to change stuff and use more generic approaches from other teams just threw resignation paper6
On the nth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
1 misconfigured autoscaling group
200 unnecessary servers
29 urgent emails
3 support teams that would have fixed the problem in an hour of anybody had bothered going to them first
Ugh. Idiots. Somehow the whole issue was caused by a single full hard disk, which caused database transactions to fail, which caused the group to scale out and spin up new instances, which didn't actually fix the problem so it kept scaling until it hit the limit and then continuously failed to create new instances for several hours straight, generating loads of notification emails and generally causing problems for everyone involved.
> Get told my teams products don't work
> I say file a ticket so we know and can assist
> No tickets filed after 4 weeks,
> Team still complains my teams products don't work
Who else has mindless complainers?
What the fuck Microsoft !! Your android apps are total piece of shit! Fucking outlook Android app don't have support to view doc file which is created using your shitty Microsoft teams portal.
If I click on that doc file link through my outlook app, you redirect me to chrome.
Ok that's still acceptable. But the real shit starts now. You tell me that your browser isn't supported! Is this fucking joke?? Who in the world develops a website which can't support latest version of Android chrome?
Now that I have installed your shitty Microsoft teams app, it doesn't show up in "open with" options. Clicking on that link is still redirecting to the chrome saying that browser is unsupported.
Also, your shitty Microsoft teams app can't edit fucking doc file. When I click on your Microsoft word icon, You again ask me to install Android app for Microsoft word.
Seriously fuck you Microsoft and your shitty apps!1
Big-time Microsoft fan who claims they've been using licensed versions of Windows since Windows 3.0. Still has all old versions of Windows on different machines / hard-disks. They use only Microsoft Surface devices. They still use Nokia Lumia (with Windows Phone 10). They were working with an organization that used Office365 for enterprise email and collaboration. They used Microsoft Teams for team collaboration when the rest of the organization was comfortable with Atlassian tools like jira, confluence and bitbucket.
One fine day, news spreads that the organization is moving into GSuite for enterprise email and collaboration. They are devastated. They quit citing personal and family reasons, but we knew the real reason.19
Program manager who handles scrum of scrums asked our scrum master to slow down. Our velocity and quality is making other teams look bad...
The problem is, no one from other team wants to learn anything from us on automation/cicd. They are good even though manual.
Not sure what to do. Biz is happy with us...6
Freaking love it when devs from other teams work on you code base and implement components you already have ... Don't talk to each other, just submit your awsome code and leave a mess behind. But OK ... Just a simple click on Pull Request -> Denied!1
As it turns out, of all the teams from my school that have been at the classic Catalysts Coding Contests on Nov 16th, the one I was in turned out to be the best. That's cool I guess.
Becoming a Project Manager, I've always liked to manage projects and teams. But first of, graduate. Then climb the ladder7
I'm writing a book that teaches everything I have learned in the past 20 years about writing small niche software and selling it.
Need some help from my fellow DevRanters.
Anyone who comments here with something constructive gets a free copy when it's done.
When I say:
"Why don't you just write your own software and sell it to end users"
What is the first thing that pops into your head?
Is it "I don't know how to advertise"
"that's a pipe dream"
"I tried starting my own business, but _______"
"I am doing that, i have this side project "
(how long have you spent on that side project?)
I need to know all your concerns questions fears, skepticism etc around the idea of writing your OWN software.
After 20 years I have like, so much knowledge, but it's sometimes hard to get it all out, UNLESS someone has a question or concern, then, out it comes.
So, I'm going to (hopefully) collect all the questions here ... and answer them, and it'll help me out a lot to extract this knowledge.
A lot of stuff I do without even thinking and realizing all the years it took to even know that.
What would you like to know the most?
You have the skills, you have the know how, you can probably see it in your head, so what's stopping you from making the leap?36
i *hate* when someone changes my code with out doing any of: asking first || commenting changes || telling me afterward.4
Microsoft seems to get progressively worse every year. My work transitioned from google products (email, drive, chat) to Microsoft & it was a humungous step backwards. Everything crashes & doesn't save. Edge sucks. Windows 10 sucks. IE always sucked. Office 365 sucks. One drive sucks. MS Teams sucks. 😑9
We where designing next generation of standard PC platform. In the project we wanted to have input from different teams, what was important to them and it was the representative from Human Resourse to speakup,
"I would like to have round bobbles", it took us a while to figure out that he wanted, he wanted to change the shape of all dialog boxes.......
HR has often strange ways if looking at things.1
For a long time, I wanted to be a part of open source communities. I've been a dev for 6 years now.
I have the skills needed to help out but usually I'm fairly unexperienced on working with big teams, code reviews, and build-test systems they often use. So I'm scared as hell to even begin with. I feel unsecure to reach out and ask for helping or send a basic fix / pull-request.
What are your suggestions, how did you start working on open source projects?
Teach me senpai.3
So this morning something wonderful happened. One of my teams deployed some cache for our API using Redis and they didn't config it!!!
So it's TROLL-time!!! And we have some really cool troll rules if you DOS the QA stack!! So if they resolve it in less than an hour they will only have to use a funny cap all day long (even for lunch) but if it takes more than 1 hour it will be a full cyclist outfit for the whole day (over their own cloth).
PS: if you ever use Redis don't mysql it (why config it? it'll work!!!), because Redis will murder your server!!!4
When you are switching teams and seems like everyone in the firm knows your next project except for you..
Microsoft pls fix.
My company chose to use Microsoft Teams and uses various linux desktops.
Let's try Microsoft Teams.
A desktop app? Hell yeah. Let's try it.
Microsoft delivers a Windows executable for linux users... Fuck7
As a Dev in college working for teams in college, I don't really have a need to use git, since most of 'self proclaimed prestigious programmer child prodigies' I work with have no idea what it is; but I use it anyways as good programming practice and ease of backups.
So I tried using a GUI client after months of the git bash, and even though I looked up a few tutorials (was embarrassed the whole fucking time). I ended up adding, committing and pushing via bash.
Can anyone explain me how is the GUI client helpful in large projects and stuff?8
So you have an organization that flirts with scrum and wants to be agile. You have non-crossfunctional teams who don't know what agile is. You have product owner who doesn't want to do backlog, but instead acts like project manager and asks for statuses and assigns tasks to peple. He wants the teams to find out what needs to be done and fill the backlog themselves - and then raport to him. You have business owers who noone knows who they are. You have project managers, who don't fit the whole scrum hierarchy. These project managers insist calling scrum masters "team leaders". Also these project managers think scrum is silly and don't want anything to do with it. And then you have higher program management that think this whole scum thing is better than sliced bread and everything is going just dandy!
Oh yeah, also highest organization management thinks that we are on the right track. We just need be more agile but less agile and work more efficiently whitout really saying, what the hell are we supposed to do.
Basically every day is like going to the zoo. Without the fun part.4
I'm living in the twilight zone...
These people upload and download an entire directory of files from microsoft teams as their way of version control...
And what's worse they're dragging their feet on changing over to git/github
God save me1
That moment when you have to take over another person's work (coding) , because they go on vacation.
define Agile principles in 2 lines :
Take 2X to your velocity,
and work 80hours a week ;)3
This one is for @Fast-Nop
Both a rant and a joke/meme.
Its also funny because its true. Couple of teams (team responsible for orders and team responsible for accounting) are in seclusion in a meeting room right now cleaning up the web team's screw up.5
When you have to lock down #general in #slack because people cant be responsible.
Then get stuck making #bs-general and other #bs prefixed channels so that people know if they join them they will be annoyed.4
Finally got my devRant Stickers!
Thanks David for fast delivery to Germany!
Hope you guys will remain successful!
-devRant rocks- 😎1
I think they are afraid of me :)
Last time I pushed them harder than anyone ever did since their tools I have to rely on precisely were unstable. Now each time I ping their channel in Slack I get immediate ack responses from their manager and architects .
I don't like that my team and my company uses Skype as the messaging tool for teams. There are no code highlighting when I need to share code snippet to devs!13
Musk's OpenAI beat the top professional Dota2 players in the World. That's pretty impressive. AI has a lot of potential for the future. BTW, any Dota2 players here? My son complains that he ends up on Teams that don't speak English. Dota2 can be modded. Imagine a mod that interfaces with Google Translate and does on the fly translation. Beyond my experience level. Way beyond.3
I honestly don't understand people who genuinely believe formal schooling will cover all the basics they need to know to do a real-life job, and still get barely passing grades on all relevant subjects.
I genuinely don't understand people who copy GitHub projects to pass classes, and graduate from a university with goddamn StackOverflow instead of a brain.
Whom I understand even less are people who don't do anything major-related on their spare time.
I mean, change your fucking major, do what you actually like, do things that actually light your nuts with passion.
Please don't waste my time pretending you are in it not just because it's potentially well-paid and "cool".
Please don't waste my time being my coworker.
Yes, I'm looking at you, trendy wanker with a CS degree and no personal projects.
P.S. Junior here. Yes, I'm full of hatred for all the "real programmers" in the industry out there. I hoped for a better experience.
P.S.S. I mean absolutely no offense to people using either GitHub or StackOverflow outside of the aforementioned context.10
A manager in the area, in an effort to “encourage” teams to meet their externally generated commitments before imposing mandatory extended hours, posted a chart showing Mt. Everest with weekly goals as stages up the mountain. First team to the top wins a $20 gift card. Looks just like this picture. Results will probably be similar.4
Trying to get Pokemon Go running on iOS in Germany....
.... first time I regret not having an Android Phone 😫3
Visual studio code, I do love you, but your bracket pair highlighting on html inside php files or html inside script tags (eg. Ng-template) is absolute dog shite and makes it impossible to use when you're refactoring markup written by somebody who's never heard of a coding standard or editorconfig.
I know it's probably not an easy thing to sort, some of your dev teams have posted some excellent insights into how it recognises syntax but literally every other editor out there has got this right.1
When your PM is whining like a baby about resource issues surrounding developing new features when he/she already agreed one of the teams top priorities was getting "run the business" work done.
One of the colleagues I am close with is changing teams. They will still be around the company, in fact the office of the team they are going to is right by mine. It just sucks to lose a good developer and friend from the team.
Best: come up with best idea to real world problem.
Worst: lose to teams who used all the sensors in the kit.... Their system didn't even solve a problem.
Yesterday, my team had a react crash-course workshop.
It was like "you have to import a couple of libs, use 'em in different react elements you pull up and Tadaaaa! Magic is happening and your app works".
This workshop was the pinnacle of "intense".
I understood 60% of the stuff.
My team-mates about 15%.
So react is the front-end technology of choice after our architectural-team. The other teams have to use this the technology for their UIs.
This will be a lot of fun ^^1
Got transferred on to a new team. The team I was on previously was successful, had great processes, and very smart people. New team was floundering, very late, no processes, and crotchety. Did my best with the (lack of) expectations and information given to me. No one gave me any feedback. Get called into a meeting to discuss my lack of performance and failure to meet goals. If I hadn't needed the money I would have walked out. Transferred teams a month later.
my first job is in a brand-new team, all team mate other than the manager are new grads from colleges. we r so engaged and dedicated our efforts to deliver something. and one day one of our team mate decided to resign due to family issues, we try our best throw him a farewell party, it is so emotional. now I have worked in a couple of teams, the spirit could not found after then.1
So someone complained to my bosses boss about some internal page where I collected some of our own funny git commit messages, because they were not "meaningful", and I had to take down said page.
Fuck that narrow-minded seriousness, why be so German? If we have to debug multi-threaded C++ programs, we need that bit of fun and sarcasm to stay sane. But probably that someone is a member of some of these "professional" Agile teams that waste a day a week with fucking retros, sprint planning or other mind-crippling meta stuff, then evaluating frameworks and tools, while we are doing motherfucking programing.
Have you ever worked in a team that actually did everything right?
I have never seen anyone talk about a team in which things got done.
I'm a solo coder, so, don't really know either way. Sounds like mostly, teams are a mess b/c they aren't done right for the most part?
I dont know actually, but seems that way.10
We crack jokes at each other and use profanity at all times. Troll other teams with funny git commits. Our slack channel is filled with weird giphys. Currently the most productive team according to the Chief Architect. How open is your work environment?5
Simple - don't work or have your own company. But then you'll find some other things that you hate. I guess it's all about compromises.
It's quite a difficult topic actually. I remember when I did my internship, I started with two other interns. Even though we worked for the same company, our experiences were vastly different since we worked on different projects and with different teams.1
I find it funny that, one of the most expected features on Windows, is not even a Windows feature. The teams at Microsoft must be feeling the same way we feel when, after a huge project, the client gets super excited when we implement or change something really, really small, that we did in a couple hours, just for fun.
It was called a hackathon, but was probably more a CTF on a distributed TOR network. Organized by Dutch tax police (FIOD) for students. Finished it single-handledly in 18 hours, in front of several teams consisting of 6 people. Immediately got a job offer, but declined since I still wanted to do a master's :)3
The worst thing in any hackathon is coming at 3rd position and there is a prize for only the first two teams.
I like our daily stand-ups, but our team only does it when our scrum master is present, if he takes a day off, no one cares about it
I think it's healthy for scrum teams to have that every day
What do you guys think? Are you also doing scrum? How bug is your team?6
I am my teams goto guy for anything and everything. For any problem they face technically.
They think I am some kind of genius. But in reality I just Google. :/ I don't know most of the things they ask!
The saving grace is that, whenever I try to solve anything, the pieces of the puzzle quickly fall into their places in my head.
Now the impostor syndrome is kicking in hard!1
Due to resource scarcity, my manager Bob had lent me to other manager John. I started working on John's project and now there is a hardcore dependency on me, as I have done good enough work on it. I was also taking some small work items from Bob parallely so I can be up-to-date with my own team, Later Bob calls me and says he wants me back, since my own team has lot of pending tasks. John's project is still unfinished and will take longer then ever. So far, I am dividing my time between the two teams.
My concern is if I pass on John's project, will I even get recognized for it and since John will have no one concrete to work on his project, he will later keep bugging me for help.
And I feel like I don't belong to either of the teams (I am like a step son to both my parents) 😔2
There is an "SA" who doesn't know anything about different architectures used around, does not ask if he doesn't know and assumes stuff and puts us in those cringe-worthy moments where everyone in the meeting kind of becomes quiet because he is uttering obvious bullshit. He does this in meetings with senior managers and developers from other teams which clearly puts our team down!
My company chose to go with MS Teams over Slack. And now we’re not even allowed to create our own channels. We have to ask our manager to do it for us. Tf? That’s some basic shit.6
When your teams lead developer still uses unsecured FTP to deploy websites, does not use git or svn and would rather build their own cms than use an off the shelf product.. I can't help but learn bad practice's as a junior!2
A discord bot with streaming music from YouTube, ranks, commands and teams and a full scp wiki for only 5 euros and a week. I still regret not taking 50
My most successful project was in the fisrt year of University in 2016. We had to build a robot from scratch with all the mechanic, electronical and software components, which could solve a given problem, in our case defusing a bomb, in collaboration with an other team. After a lot of frustration, late night debugging and many beers, our team managed to win the competition against 8 other teams.
My collegue denies to provide breaking changes in our login API in a separate version to the other teams depending on it.
What is the reason for his stubborn rejection?
It's scrum. We haven't planned the effort for realising a versioning concept for our API.
Let's build it in the next sprint as a part of live deployment strategy.
The point he miss is that the ProductOwner wants his API change deployed during the next sprint.
Additionally, it is best practice, having a compatible, deployable product after each sprint, without any risks.
Furthermore, another best practice to provide your API is one URI without a version part holding the current development of the API. And URIs with a version part in it to keep a specific request/response structure and behavior.
What really grind my gears are sayings like 'if the other teams had well programmed their software, modifying our API won't have any effect on them'
C'mon dude. That's far from reality, as anybody knows.
I can't accept, we provide unprofessional API builds, as he is going to do.
So, i have to spend my time and energy to change his mind, together with other software-architects, planning the big thing API-Gateway *sigh*2
there are a lot of ad for web based start-up to be teams claims they have everything in place only missing a dev, what the F r they thinking without dev involved in early stages means to build a building by copy paste blueprint from Google2
My workplace keeps moving more and more teams into the building, but the number of restrooms remains the same.
All it will take is one bad food-handling day in the cafeteria to enable battle royale mode.
shutdown an old Jenkins CI pipeline from one of our teams... after one month they call us to bring it online again because they don't know how to build it manually.... lol #automation #scripting #jenkins2
I'm not sure if it's just here, but in my country dev teams are not very organized. Most teams i've seen have no sense of process and they overlook testing.1
So, recently new CTO joined.
And suggested to migrate our entire platform on GO from PHP.
And all dev teams will get new macs.
Its gonna take more 3-4 months so.
Kind of exicted to work on.7
During the course of my career I've stumbled on like 6-7 people I've worked with and it was really great. Every now and then we meet up and chat how it'd be great to form a team again and work on something (we're all in different companies atm).
Lately we've been mentioning that even more and are considering whether to start working on a product/find clients and form an agency/join some other company.
We have experience with both outsource and products. Our profiles range from development, design, marketing, UX, HR, PM.
Any road we take has pros and cons. We're least fit to start on a product because we'd need more profiles, have to figure out finance and would probably have to work alongside our current jobs.
I've been thinking of writing a joint letter when I hear a company is opening up an office in our city. When that happens, usually whole teams are formed and most of the profiles I mentioned are needed.
Do you think that's even possible? Is there another way we're overseeing? Have you heard of or attempted something similar?
Any advice is truly appreciated.2
After solving that production issue which people debugged the entire night.. feels like..
I am the eggman
I am the walrus
Goo goo goo job..1
When your job gets unnecessarily difficult because too many people work on the same files, and then they ignore your changes in version control. I waste more time redoing work that was already done and ignored . . .1
My manager always tell that we're less process oriented and self sufficient.
Later on, I understand what that means
- Poorly written JIRA tickets
- JIRA tickets with only title, rest for you to fill
- Two teams did same task, client side team pushing their change directly on master, while mine still waiting on code review will eventually get rejected
- Client writing raw SQL in ORM framework instead of using any single feature of ORM.4
Company logic: "we need a new software manager for the program. This guy has worked on every piece of our product. Including as team lead of one of the teams. But wait he has never signed time cards. We better bring in this guy who has been in the company less than a year and is a known job shopper to do it instead."
Long story short, I am getting a new software manager that knows nothing about our product. Fun4
I asked a senior PM once if software developers were the hardest to work with. He said no, road construction teams are worse.3
"agile" teams, changing scope, unrealistic deadlines, non-tech PMs...
So much fits into this category.2
What are the chances of landing any kind of job in the software field without my CS bachelor's degree completed?
Cuz I'm so tired of the impractical bullshit I've had to do in class for the last 2 or 3 years. I just don't get why the University does not prepare people to work in dev teams yet it seems to be a prerequisite for any consideration to be hired in the field.
Edit: I'm quite familiar with programming and learn quickly. But is that not sufficient?6
Just a reminder guys especially who do agile(scrum). TEAMS SHOULD BE HIGHLY ALIGNED BUT LOOSELY COUPLED!5
I find it funny that core software from major companies has such bad bugs or flaws. With large development teams and QA they still get through, yet a bug half as bad on a system for a customer developed by a small team, we get a roasting for it!1
Microsoft Teams logic when using it from Chrome on Linux:
Wanna have a team call with multiple people? Sure no problem, proceed.
Wanna have a direct call with one person? Hell no, we don't do that here!
Also lets just ignore the fact that you are actually running Google Chrome, you should really try out Windows and Edge.1
Best project management tool for webdev, for small/medium sized teams (5-10 people) and projects? Must include quick project setup with checklist templates.7
"The ability to change on a dime is one thing small teams have by default that big teams can never have. This is where the big guys envy the little guys. What might take a big team in a huge organization weeks to change may only take a day in a small, lean organization. That advantage is priceless." - Andrew Hunt
So I have been using REST APIs since last 4 years and used this term in lot of technical discussions with backend teams.
Learnt that it's full form is 'REpresentational State Transfer' just a few minutes ago 🙈6
I was hired as a team lead. I'd only managed small online teams before but now it's an office job. Any books and articles on technical team leading you may suggest?5
Does anyone actually fucking know how certs and provisioning profiles work for large iOS teams without using the cancerous auto provision checkbox? Are we all just fucking it up all the time??3
evil === true
Found this one after 4 hours of debugging... Want to screw with other teams? Shove some UTF-8 BOM characters into JSON responses consumed by Node (and other frameworks as well). Watch as they scramble to find why JSON.parse() fails on seemingly nothing.
Background: BOM markers are hidden characters that indicate text stream information to applications. They are not ignored by many JSON parsers and throw exceptions that don't appear to make sense.1
I have my first real deadline at a company. Yesterday. I hate deadlines :( At university I only affect me when missing deadlines. At a company, the whole teams gets affected.4
anyone else get second thoughts about their bank when they see this kind of message after logging in?
"Online Banking is unavailable
We are really sorry we are preventing you from completing your banking today. Our technical teams are aware and actively investigating. Please know they are working hard to restore service as soon as possible.
Please call us at 123-456-7890 for banking assistance or information."
I'm at that point where I want to lash out at our team for not finishing a sprint. I've been doing the scrum master/dev role for months now and each sprint is incomplete since we have started the agile way.
Most of my team members are seasoned senior devs and my team's downfall are caused by not acting as a team. I'm the youngest in the team and have been acting as a babysitter for them.3
1. Make it so IT teams are only directly managed by people who know their shit about IT
2. Make nvidia opensourxe their linux driver, so we can have some real improvements
3. Make me able to rm -fr people and tasks from the command line.3
Isn't it fanbloodytastic when you switch dev teams and your former team mates start blaming you for broken builds?
Fortunately I had logs to cover my arse. F*** blameworthy company cultures.1
I hate meetings where we watch other teams yank each other’s dicks for an hour. We get it, you love your team. I don’t care. I have shit to do guys.
Development: we need Nginx installed on *insert server list*
Me: ok, let me get in tough with the platform team.
Platform team: This should be installed in the userspace, Unix teams don't support this.
And here I am, trying to get a reverse proxy running on servers on which I do not have sudo rights.
Since it doesn't work, it's my fault, both sides block the door.
I installed it locally on a virtual machine, but the compiled or installed code doesn't work once copied.
The joy of being an "application engineer". This job title means nothing!12
My most disliked part about my job is one recurring event that happens way too often: waiting for other teams to do their fucking jobs so that I can do mine.1
Anyone else find slack a time waster unless you are actively working on a team? I feel it fails when used for a user group: l have left most slack teams because it is like repeatedly looking in the fridge and not finding anything interesting.4
Working in an Agile software development department (12 dev teams, >100 developers) inside a very old school traditional business (15000 staff, several billion annual turnover) is an uphill struggle that I don’t know if I have the energy to persevere with.
New year is making me think I push the launch button on a product that I spent all of last year building.
For context I should add that I am a senior person / leader in the department so I have to deal with a lot of shit from the suits.
Great my team just got dumped with all the other teams messes and incomplete work! Great sprint planning guys.
I find IT to be an amazing field. There are so many parts to it that take tremendous dedication to fully understand, yet, each part works together.
Teams of people dedicated their entire life to software development, which would be impossible if teams of people did not dedicated their entire life to the development of operating systems. That would be impossible if teams of people did not dedicated their entire life to integrating hardware and software. That again would be impossible if teams of people did not dedicated their entire life to electrical engineering.
I know I missed tons of subfields that link everything together, but just the massive amount of dedication and teamwork to make something as simple as a console application work properly is amazing. I wish I could understand it all and I hope everything will always be as easily accessible my entire life as it is now.2
Web development is a fucking mess. Why is there hundreds of things to download, manage, and all of them depend on another tool? Framework dev teams, can you stop creating dev tools for dev tools that is intended to alter development? How the fuck do people even handle this pile of mess? They must be superhumans.1
in teams with backenders and frontenders, how do you guys coordinate introducing breaking changes to the API while the system is live ?15
My new employer is giving me the option to learn whatever I want. I’m doing procurement and Sharepoint and some other things, covering on the help desk, and some graphic design work. I have a bit of free time though and want to try something new!
We have the following teams: networks, development, security, and help desk. What should I ask to do next?
I’m learning SQL and have also been given the opportunity to do some of that work once I am ready.
Note: I know that it’s my preference what I do, I just don’t even know where to begin!3
So, it appears that when you have a disagreement about something with our new head of development, he puts you on a ‘shit’ list and the does everything he can to make you want to quit.
Tried to make out that your not integrating with the teams, excludes you from any discussion that you might have any opinions about, talks down to you and is generally two faced about everything he says.
Well f**k him.2
how many devs working in your company and (thats the actual question) how many leaders manages dev teams?3
I think I just realized the relationships between toons in Looney Toons: World of Mayhem is basically a graph... And so the optimal teams can be found by solving Pick 4 Vertices (toons) that maximize the # of Edges (positive relationships) between them...
Is there an algorithm that finds that or I just bring force it by testing all combos? Given the # of toons shouldn't take too long.2
Our team moved to scrum a while back. But everybody still does story point estimation by mentally assigning 1 story point for each day of work it would require. :/
On top of that, management compares the performance of two *different* scrum teams based on the story points they finish in a sprint. ://
Whoever decided that working with exclusive check-outs with teams in TFS was a good idea should be shot. What an absolute ball-ache!1
When your job description says you are a mobile developer, but when you started working, you have started handling teams and doing web penetration testing. Then after 2 yrs of that still no salary raise. =.=3
"First ask the context of something and never why it's like it is"
I used to criticize bad code and get ratled by it... My mentor said this to me and added "sometimes it was made by an asshole and sometimes it has a reason"...
So, trying to find out if there's a reason for some of the shit I find and understanding their context helps me be better on dealing with my teams
Currently on a project to use AI as music recommending model, an interactive AI model generator and researching on Distributed Systems altogether in three different teams for each thing...
Seems I'm the dirty fish of their team.. 😖
Fucking wasting the time all along the day...
Like Why the Fuck am I degrading my own potential, quality and what not...
Oh god Fucking pick me to the hell NOWWW
We have a full architecture deployed in a vm, and two teams works sharing it. All the apps were running as expected, the other team had demo and ask us not deploy anything in server....so we copy the war of our spring boot app to the server (23MB). Server collapse 10' before demo. We said that we weren't. I hate the other TL. I was happy.
What do people think of automated code generator frameworks such as Yeoman and Plop? Any experiences to share using those or similar frameworks?
I like the idea of automation, it means code will be consistent (especially across teams), and it means less boilerplate writing that potentially breaks thought processes.
But then does it just waste time? It's something extra to develop, test and debug. Further most of dev time is reading, thinking and modifying.2
Just got an Android app project from friends, but already have a bad feeling about it.
It already start with 11 freaking screen, an input activity with 17 field(include spinners, date picker, location picker, and a freaking table). 3 different account type, each has different item and function visible to the user. 5 main feature, one of it include *chat* that supports multimedia, A freaking alarm system, both scheduled and automatic based on certain parameter with push notification, and deadline at January 1st with teams of 3 people :)6
Every team building event, the company run a random draw to organise the teams.
It looks like the random equations not applicable to the beauty lady and the rich guy, they always match together.
What a draw...
Should I give them actual simple running draw app! Or they may hate me :)
Have no work in office!
Most of my teams work is either completed or waiting to get approved.
Gives me a lot of free time at work.
What to do?2
Why the hell do some teams use story points on bugs? I mean, there's a reason why they're called STORY points 😯
Simply the fact that i didn't started my dev carreer earlier because of lets say reasons which costs me 7 years of time which on one hand gave me a whole lot of experience across some fields but god damn it sucks being near thirty and still being a student while other friends are already leading teams and working on million euro projects -.-
Situation: I'm a junior, working at company X since about the start of this year. We have a mixed team of native Android and native iOS developers. The architectural design decision was to build a separate iOS and a separate Android app.
Recently, during a problem solve session with other teams, other developers were complaining: why not use React Native, why not use Xamarin, why not use PhoneGap.
I'm so sick of this shit, if you have your users in mind, if you care about UX and UI and if you care about building an actually good app, GO NATIVE.5
What is your preferred team size? Have you had a better experience working on a larger or smaller team?11
Older lady designer with 2 huge Apple monitors asking me to change a color on the UI or left shift list elements. That's not too bad, right. NOOOOO. All of those request asked individually in a timespan of 4 weeks. I was assigned to do just that and nothing else. Damn I was bored...I was not allowed to help other teams or even my own team members officially. Finally my boss called me up for another project. SALVATION !!!
PS. That project got cancelled. No suprise there.
Getting close to graduating and trying to find an internship and I just have one question;
Do project teams in the real world disappoint as much as project teams in college? Or will I actually have people who aren't brain-dead working alongside me?2
So I have to mimic some codes that I was not given any explanation because it's from a team that is, like, the only one that does not like the others and we have to work with them.
All the teams do codes with similar coding rules
and then there is this team. Weirdly enough, they are the most strict on their rules.
Being a full stack developer within a company that has separated departments for each stack can be very frustrating, especially when it comes to just a development environment.
Although my main role is a backend PHP developer, there are times where I need to configure or install something in a development server. But I have to put in a request to the networking team every time I want something done. Personally I find this to be very inefficient and wasting my time and the networking teams' time as well.
An example would be I want to install Supervisor to have a process restart in the event that it dies, which I explained to the networking guy. But the networking guy says that they don't want to install it, can just make a systemd service instead. I said that is fine and asked if he could do that or can I do it myself. Then he wants to know why I want to have a systemd service installed even though I just explained it to him!
Though I guess I'm always going to have this kind of issue with networking teams.1
What the fuck is going on with elementary OS 0.4 Loki?!
Its the worst performing OS I have ever used:
* login ==> just shows desktop wallpaper, no icons, no dock, no keyboard inputs, no shit!
* installs updates in background ==> ne keyboard inputs, no reaction at all
Wtf did you guys do, when changing to unbuntu?!8
During my recent interview I was explaining what I liked about the company, going in to detail about how I respected the CIO as he, as a software engineer, ran his ops teams like he runs a development team.
When I got home I realized my story wasn't about the CIO of the company but about Benjamin Treynor Sloss, VP Google Engineering, founder of Google SRE.
I had been reading the Google SRE book the night before and completely mixed up my stories!
I wonder if it was in part why I didn't get the job...1
So I've been thinking about how to get people in my high school to join a team that I am creating for MLH. I also need to figure out how to plan and host the hackathon as well as fundraise for it. I'm trying to get all of this done be March of next year so that everything runs smoothly(hopefully). My school district is full or super rich kiddos so fundraising should be easy. Anyways do you guys have any tips for trying to get people into a team and organizing/fundraising for a hackathon?3
Handy postgres script for those on teams with folks who maybe don't write the best queries...
`SELECT pg_terminate_backend(pid) FROM pg_catalog.pg_stat_activity WHERE query_start < now() - interval '3 minutes'`
A week ago me and my classroom visited Pentalog and they Presented us in major terms how they're teams work and what is mostly going on in an IT consulting company. It was pretty cool. I loved every job or position they presented except Scrum Master and the person who manages the database.
I saw most of them how nice they were how they got along, it makes it hard for me to understand how many ranters are crying about relationships with other collegues. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1
I don't know what to feel when you are the only person in team who has completed his deliverables, has his deliverables tested and stamped as alright and yet every time there is an issue everyone simply assumes it it you. Where is my f
* trust, why you so quick to believe the other guys....
and even if they blame me as a member of my team your first thing should not be to blindly believe their claims. I'M ON YOUR TEAM, you forget that when I'm being blamed you are also being indirectly blamed? I may be lacking in communication but my work speaks excellence fluently if anything TRUST THAT! 😑
Junior Dev about 18months in my current job and I've got a problem
Started to feel not wanting to code at work, despite working on a greenfield project thats critical and using new tech. I get a little defensive about PR's over stupid small things (PR was once rejected due to auto indentation "not to standard").
Talked with boss (who I get on well with and like) and thinks my problem is I've lost confidence coding. Trys to get more senior Dev to on side to help me out more.
Same senior Dev is really close with other junior on my team - pair on alot of stuff all the time, have lunch and spend free time together, and will work way past working hours just to try and finish something that day (even though it's not due that day).
(Probs working ~60h weeks, where as I'm ~42h and contracted for 37h. I'll work on if I need to but tries to have balance)
Senior and other junior tend to ignore tickets on the board, do the work and then when I pick it up they say "I did that last night". No docs, no PR for me to ask about how it was done (as they merged it themselves). (They have previously completely refactored my branch in the past overnight then not told me atall)
I'm not saying its favouritism here, but I'm not happy with the situation. I feel I can't ask questions as they are always together or they discuss the problem themselves and just give me the answer (not really acknowledging my points). I dont tend to ask for help from this senior Dev now as I don't feel it's worthwhile learning wise for me.
Other people in the team are great but working on other aspects so not a direct one-to-one alignment (others are DB Dev & principal senior dev)
Furthermore I'm wanting to possibly work on full stack web or more architecture stuff, both which are not in my current teams remit (backend up to API).
So - what do I do? Try and remedy the situation in the current team as best as or look for a new teams as cut my losses.
I'm torn between the 2 and I'm unsure how to get out this rut. I feel I need to find a solution to this soon though
(Sorry for the long rant folks)4
Today we finally launched Keycloak to secure our spring cloud microservice architecture!
Great feeling after 4 month of tailoring open source software, bug fixes and so much pain 😄
Rant: I hate when clients complain about sizing so a team member changes my entire heading system just to change header size without going over it with anyone else I. The teach damn if it breaks shit other places or scrapped many hours of mobile testing, even better then changed class names some places ignoring our frame work and breaking mobile.
I wrote a bit about my experiences dealing with communication in remote teams, and how I'm trying to get better at it. #remote
something id like to yell at my company:
if u only cant afford to take a certain team to team lunches because its getting too big, stop recruiting for fucks sake. it was literally the coolest perk🤷♂️
Question, is one way to build a team, is to make sure they do tasks that they always complete, so they feel like winners ?
I guess the same could be said for relationships..
Just I was pondering, that playing computer games against AI that you can beat, gives you some kind of mental boost doesn't it ?
It reminds me of forums, that at times, people debate, not for the content, but because they feel good if they have the last word. (They win..)
This can make having technical discussions difficult if people aren't really trying to be helpful, but instead are trying to score points over the next person !
Ideally by being more helpful. :-)
But sometimes, or often, depending upon the system, this degrades into an all out mud slinging match where the original starting point was lost and someone resorts to mentioning Hitler..
So, it made me wonder, other than getting a bunch of folk to play against AI and feeling good about it, what other team building exercises could you do that could help you to build a team in the first place ?
I'm thinking, maybe all those silly hippy games of find the teddybear in the woods, aren't so stupid after all..
Though, once you have a bunch of teddybear loving hippies, how do you then get them to build a geothermal power plant and give free electricity to the poor..
That always seems a sticking point !
"Right team, lets go and plant some veg!"
FX [ Watches as entire team goes to the pub instead.. ]15
Getting the company to sit me down next to one of their teams for a couple of hours. Just see what they're doing. How work is managed, how code reviews are being done.
You want to hire me, not the other way around. But good luck in explaining this when you have to write a doubly linked list in pure C because some guy on a conference said that every dev needs to be able to do that.
I've been doing stuff on my free time after school for about 3 years now. And i cant keep working on projects without losing motivation or getting stuck without a solution and then giving up, i've also tried working with a lot of teams and friends but it seems like everything i do or i work on ends up cancelled or full of issues and roadblocks. any advice?7
Team building exercises... Curious to hear your opinions....
They annoy the hell out of me personally and I can't see the value in them...
Have bonded way more with previous teams by simply working on a project together. No BS exercises, or even scrum for that matter, we just respected each other and that seemed to effortlessly let us make each other better at our work.1
Worst project I worked on was fixing up and optimizing a clients legacy Magento app. this thing had leftover code from a few different development teams, and then my company had to make it run better. We outsourced much of it, and it wasn't using a proper git setup. in order to do absorb at all, we had to SSH to a dev server, work directly, and pray another person on the team want working on the same file or breaking something else.
Worst sin ever was during a workplace hackathon.
Being ultra competitive I decided the other teams build script was too functional, ie. It worked. Changing it to
.echo please accept our warmest contrafibularitiea and have a nice day
...and commit gained more than a little (deserved) approbrium.
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
--- Douglas Adams
Work in the team goes
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
Work in the teams goes
whoosh whoosh whoosh
Although the sprint
Rhyme - wheels on the bus goes
Quote - https://goodreads.com/author/...
Am I the only one who loves documenting their work? I mean I just absolutely love making Github gists, man!
It helps in the backend-frontend integration and in communication between teams that is necessary for frictionless progress towards our common goal.6
Do you have a db specialist in teams? I often see frontend & backend ranting but no db Devs. Isn't that role so crucial as one lost index can cause massive performance drops?5
Just moved teams and went from a lead to a individual contributor. Feels much quieter... almost too quiet.1
Can anyone suggest a good REST API for sports data? I have developed an app for Android that shows information and statistics about football league,teams and players. I need to add news feeds,live scores and images. I am using a free API for experimental purpose which is limited. Any help would be appreciated.2
How does one get experience on working in teams if every project I've built has been solo because of a lack of developers from where I am from?4
Changed teams and formed a team with like minded people 4 months later and was better prepared this time. Built an app for social innovation and came runners up at the hackathon!
This is a Rave, as opposed to a Rant. Working with a team that will actually test the backout scripts, and migrate twice in QA in order to make sure everything works. This is refreshing, because most teams don't test their backout, and you really are in trouble if your migration fails, and your backout doesn't work.
In my company, we have been have been using skype, hipchat, slack and now Teams.
Yet somehow, email always survives.
I get it as a communication channel for external clients as everybody has an email.
Yet when you as a company are using a team messenger, well then use it as your primary communication tool NO EXCEPTIONS or don't use them at all.4
Why isn't Gooogle buying Atlassian to stock up G Suite with Wiki and Slack, then piss off Microsoft and win the Market over with better products?
Im reading everywhere now that MS Teams has the hugest Userbase and so much features to come bla bla bla
Fuck MS Teams, it's shit, looks like it and it's software so I can't smell it. Thank god for that, else it would smell like the afterback of a diaarhetic horse.
Every fucking Tecnician at my company is arguing, that MS Teams is better, because more users are active. WTF Poopface, they have more user, because it comes included with O365???
Our people are so stupid, I bet they won the IT Certification in a Lottery or flew to Turkey to buy it at a Bazaar.
And who the fuck are the Product Managers at Google, gonna hit them a couple of times with a broom to wake up. You fucktards are missing a huge market.7
Resume read and review day! After going through nears as makes no difference 70 applications I have a grand total of 18 fuckwits who refer to themselves in the third person.
Julian has experience working with multi-disiplinary teams...
Danielle found her career path and professional purpose cultivating interests in digital communication...
TOO MANY WANK WORDS9
Any suggestions for an open source/free version control/git kinda thingy?
I'm working on a project and wanna share what I have so far with another developer, so he can add his work too without sending a billion e-mails with attachments.
Basically a cloud for developer teams.5
Playing Overwatch for 4 hours straight when I was supposed to be working on my side project. What is worse that I am still golden ranked. Keep finding crappy teams :(
Anybody know of any enterprise software for password storage and sharing?
We have an issue where multiple people across different teams use the same accounts and need them to be able to access certain login information but not all login information.
I’m hoping for something free/open source but at this point I’m open to anything. Must have the ability to give users privileges.7
I suggest at our retro that other teams have skills in languages and frameworks that we have only just started using, and that we practically just make it up as we go along and then keep making changes as we realise things suck. Why not bring a real expert in from another team for 1 or 2 days to rapidly improve our knowledge?
15 people in the room, every single one of them: "no that's stupid. Why would you even do that?"
Really? Am I the retarded one?3
Tech and product teams have to be aligned. If not, there’s chaos where dev teams suffer. No skunk project(s), no adhoc project(s), No special or pet projects for the CTO or Product Manager. Figure out what needs to get done, plan a road map, plan milestones to get there, consider the folks who ACTUALLY does the work. Protect your teams work-life balance.1
I had this pretty good experience of handling teams through working and leading projects and being a part of multiple organisations.
The best way to learn something is to teach it to several others with you, so growing together is the best way to learn aa it not only benefits you but people with you.
Sharing is the best thing that can happen to anyone in this entire world.
Every manager does *not* need a heavy process they are championing. They definitely don't need to be enforcing it on other teams that don't need those changes.1
I just realized i didnt push my BREAKING api changes for at least 2 Weeks, tomorrow is the initial deployment and either my code or the teams code is not gonna work, still deciding which is more important <.<
I often get distracted by other incompetent teams and preach ddd and tdd to them instead of writing my own code1
Group project at uni, we're learning how to do scrum sprints. So here's a small story about all the ways it can go wrong.
We assign scrum master and product owner roles, what do those do? "We want to do design tho" they say two weeks later.
I end up doing the organization part and structuring the backlog.
"Alright, you guys will be the frontend team, your tasks are X and Y"
One day before the review I ask again
"So, what's the status" (well knowing that they didn't do shit so far)
They start scrambling around, and manage to do like 30% of their tasks at best, I end up doing most of the work for them.
Next week, new sprint, our tutors somehow don't notice that literally 95% of the code has been written by me so far.
"Alright team, hopefully you will do better this time, so and so will be your subteam leader since he knows this stuff"
Some guys start working on independent things without collaborating with each other, sometimes replicating stuff I already did (but obviously worse).
So that's the situation so far, I really would rather kill myself than keep working with these guys, jeeesus1
Yellow represents the lions,the kings of forests
Yellow represents the griffindors, the kings of Quidditch , kindness and bravery.
Yellow represents the Lannisters, the powerful and riches
Yellow represents the Sun, the fire of power.
Join the team Lions today, we got the muscle force here 💪3
What is your opinion on StackOverflow Teams (https://stackoverflow.com/teams)?
I have mixed feelings! A mix of "oh god why!?" and "that might be a great tool!"1
I just joined my company as a fresher in graduate developer, we will be going around in different teams over the course of next 6-7 months. My question is even though i joined as a " software developer" as of yet i am in a performance testing team, is it a good start or should i move to other team like development, QA testing etc ?1
I skim devRant for comics/memes to share on my teams slack channel. You guys are at least getting your attributed watermark though3
Want to give money to an open source project ... I want give 20$ CAN ... ok the teams will receive 2€ ... Fuck canada4
I'm pretty sure remote teams don't work with the remote team doing all the coding and we have the same exact JD and in the same department...*sigh* when management are foreign, they really are afraid of letting the local tech team help out. No wonder we are 3, sorry 2 since a fellow dev left to a better job in Amsterdam
What do people here use to 'manage' projects in small teams?
Im currently working in a team of 2 and using gitlab for git and using the changelog for changes and todo stuff.
Its working 'alright' but its still a bit of a hassle specialy for 2 persons.
People here use other tools that are faster to use etc?3
The Project Manager changed the project from scope driven to date driven with the teams giving him only t-shirt sizing estimates. Wish us luck...
Ask lots of questions....ask employees....gather the atmosphere on your walk in for the interview....ask around...if the teams interviewing you in my opinion that’s a good sign. If a non technical manager with a question sheets running the show then warning flag. If they mention Wordpress ask them drag and drop or custom themes. Same with drupal and other cms. Your a dev not a glorified intern. BIG ONE in my opinion: ask how they measure performanace and more importantly how they assure that their developers are constantly keeping up to date with the newest tools.
Which platform do you recommend for inter-team comm?
We were on skype, but it didn't allow threads.
We have now shifted to Microsoft Teams but some members aren't liking it because it does not have a native App for Linux.
Slack is paid, and we're already paying Microsoft for other features.
There are open source alternatives but we don't have a spare machine to host on...
The moment, when you wait for the clash of code at codingame to start, while surfing on the web......
"Oh it has already started.."
"Oh fuck! Its fastest code..."
As a new Monday arrives and another work week rears its ugly head, I'd like to impart some encouraging words for once:
Some of you might be working with legacy systems with code that resembles a Jackson Pollock painting.
Some of you have teams of people, both devs and managers, with the tact and intelligence of a lemming.
And almost all of us have something in our professions that we're just not looking forward to.
But take heart, my fellow ranters.
At least you're not stuck doing stuff like this:
The greatest thing I ever do when work is pending from DevOps Teams, opening devRant app. Ever did the same?
That feeling when you notice, that you have a pokestop right infront of yout house😍....
.... Now I can catch Pokemons without leaving the house. Thank You Lure Modules!
Multiplayer 3D engine architects:
While building the inital engine of your team's renderer and network systems, what were the most helpful things members of your team could provide?1
So after the CIO pretty much does a table flip to the division about causing near daily customer impact we now have seven business day cool period for Changes and 13 cross functional teams stood up with 1, 15, 30, 60, and 90 day deliverables to an executive audience.
Guess what my team did today?
Offline a major Production database during the middle of the day, thinking they were in Development. Didn’t notice for 40 minutes.
TFS did it again! Merged changes into something that doesn't build! So I had to undo my changes and lost an hour of work. Isn't the whole purpose of TFS to enable teams to work with the same code concurrently?6
Error reporting. Yeah it is a pain to come up with something that users will understand. As devs we need meaningful stacktraces so we can diagnose the problem but the normal person doesn't care. Also not having consistent messages looks terrible for the user's experience.
I hate it when there is no standardized error messages and/or json structure between teams or individual members of said teams. Why should we have 10+ different structures to code for in our apps? There is RFC 7807 for a reason. It has a defined structure plus accounts for custom properties. If you are a c# developer, check out the ProblemDetails class. It has made my life easier and I can guarantee everyone that all of my team's projects return this structure.
Yes, the bug is always on our side. Other teams are immaculate and they write the purest, most perfect code possible.
scaled agile day long planning meetings sitting around watching other teams point their pointables.1
I am currently taking a cures in leadership and teamwork as part of my computer engineering education. One assignment is to write a text about how formal and informal leaders in a team creates problems. I am sure that some of you have been in a team where the leadership have created problems and I would love to have some stories from real teams to use in my text.1
Hello, I'm new to programming and I need to write a website that allow some people to bet for sports match scores (without any money, just for fun). I want it to have leaderboard, personal statistics, easy way to add and remove teams from database (last one for administrator). My question is what programming language/maybe framework will be the best for that? I'm interested only in this bet system because rest is almost done. Thanks for help4
I was looking for a book on Microservices Architecture. There are several books, but I need one which explains all the patterns and related styles on design. The reason being is, I'm convinced about Microservices, but I need to convince my fellow teams and managers.4
A new guy joined my team two months ago he is more experienced than I am, but his knowledge yet is not good enough for our project. He is on live project working with me on a feature. I have major trust issues right now. How do people handle that in your teams?3
Tltr: Apperenticeship -> Job -> Promotion -> They pay for my bachelor
So I started my apperenticeship back in July 2014...
After a year of basic training I worked in different teams accros the company.
I finished my apperenticeship june 2018. Two teams offered me permanent positions early in 2018.
The team I decided to join, had a (back theb new) boss and I felt like she would be cool to work with. (I don't know how to describe this more accuratly... I just liked her visions, plans and what she told me about the work).
Fast forward half a year
I was preparing for the meeting where we would discuss my goals.
(I was preparing to ask for raise...)
Then she goes:
- "Hey NeedToRoll, can I have 10 minutes of your time, its serious!"
- "Do you habe any Idea why I would wonna talk to you"
* "No" Thinking: What did I fuck up that badly
- "I would Like to thank you for your amazing work, and HR agreed to a 10% raise as per next month."
Fast forward to now:
1. I will reducing to a 50% position (per my request)
2. They are paying for my bachelor s degree I am going to get. (Studying part time)3
So my current company held a dev showcase last week. It was an event to show the different projects/tech stacks that different teams are working on/with. There's about 12-14 teams in our company. My team lead and I were brainstorming ideas on what to show on our booth. And I told him, I have an Intel RealSense developer kit that we can use. Anyway, fast forward to the day before the event, I was still developing our app/game for the booth. Just an emotion detector and you have to trick the app with your facial expressions. (Weird and fun, I know). The head honcho walked past the team lead and I and looked over the demo that I was playing around and he said that: "That's not work. You're wasting time again."
We were both irritated by his comments because he's one of the top dogs in the company and he surely knows about the event. Also, it's our way of showing to him that we're flexible in doing fun stuff instead of just enterprise and internal systems!
What a fucking kill joy!
When a developer refers to everyone on the team as family and you're thinking the complete & total opposite.
I've been assigned the task of contacting teams for Blind Code, Geek Quiz and Hackathon, by university's Olympiad team.
Wish me best of luck with @safiullah and @AhmadIshaq
I know this is not the place to be asking questions but does anyone know about a ftp/sftp client that syncs your bookmarked servers with some cloud solution (e.g. Dropbox, ...)?
This would be really nice to have for teams/people with multiple laptops.4
All you front end devs who work with dedicated design teams, what's you usual workflow? Do the designers pass on the UI kit with all the assets and dimensions and you clone the thing using whatever stack you're using or do you all decide the specs on the fly looking at the general visual structure of the design?5
Separation of duties.
I work in a fairly large IT department for a Healthcare company and for security reasons always having to involve application support or other teams even during development phase can be very aggravating when I have to ask for simple things like server log files. And the process to get to deploy in production is paved with bureaucracy and paperwork and emails that have little to do with anything other than just say, I approve, yet we are supposed to be trying to implement agile.
One thing I love about agile and scum is that it easily points out who or what isn't carrying it's weight. The visibility and transparency is awesome, but of course this only applies to teams that implement it correctly!
Really really frustrated with constant changes to webapps from business teams lol .. made major code changes to a product 6 times the last 6 months 🙄
Any suggestions on how to transition into a security engineer job (I manage DevOps for the company as well, and I am currently studying cybersecurity engineering too)
I need figure out a way to work managing my fantasy football teams into my sprints this year, or were going to lose again.
Update on my "remote internship" (see my post history):
Asked my co-workers (overseas) for help yesterday evening. They completely ignored my slack messages in our teams channel, not even an acknowledgement of my message. It was only after i followed up this morning that they said "sorry don't really know" (this is right before they all go home).
Then, when i get into the office, two teams push broken code to master so I'm left dealing with that until almost lunch. After lunch, I try to work on my other task, but realise i dont remember anything since it's been two weeks since i worked on it. (I got pulled off for "high priority" stuff that apparently my team can't take 5 min to help me with.)
Finally get back in the zone on my old task, remembered id been stuck on that and needed to talk to the rest of team (Who are sleeping at this point).
Not sure what to do for the rest of the day.
Was asked to look at another teams repo to see how they use Cassandra. In that repo, I found a function that creates a map[int]bool populated with a handful of numbers all with true as the value. The function then checks the existence of an int in that map and return a true if it exists.