my intern listens to the most AI generated songs ever. might fire her soon.

Here’s why I pirate music:
1. 90% of my playlist is made by dead people. I’ll never pay for anything whose creator is dead.
2. 9% of the music I listen to is very obscure — it’s not on streaming services. There is no way to contact creators, let alone pay them.
3. The remaining 1% I bought directly from creators on Bandcamp or elsewhere.

Also, when I used Apple Music, at all times many of the songs in my library were unavailable in my region. Songs pop in and out of this state based on some ongoing, never ending legal BS perpetrated by those who had no hand in creating the music itself. Miss me with that shit. I want my entire library available to me at all times.

Data is like a dildo.

No matter how thoroughly the person who gave it to you says they cleaned it, you're still going to want to clean it yourself.

I haven't coded in so long I'm actually starting to miss it

util: YOU CANT PASS VERSION IN THAT FORMAT IT MUST BE A VERSION OBJECT FROM THE VERSION MODULE IN THE VERSION CINEMATIC UNIVERSE BLAHBLAHB LAHBLAH BLAHBLAH (...) CANT COMPILE THOUGH EVERYTHING ELSE IS CORRECT.

me: fuck you, it's just a string. i'll pass it however the fuck i want, using whichever format i feel like, and your standards will suck my dick day and night.

util: NOOOOO!!! I WAS PROGRAMMED TO THROW AND DIE AND BURN ON THIS VERY SPECIFIC AND INFINITELY STUPID CONDITION THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO!!

me: well you're a build tool so i guess i could just replace you with inhouse, right? i mean https://github.com/Liebranca/... im just the kinda guy to do it.

util: WHAT?!! NO PLEASE I DIDN'T MEAN T- **FUCKING DIES**

me: get uninstalled bitch.

lol the UI has a new background and some color updates, but features that users requested last year and myself and my team have been working on for the past 6 months (and can generate millions of revenue for the business) get pushed back in the deployment pipeline.

these people are fucking retards.

Product idea:
Create an app to dox people. Then with poor coding skills dox the entire app community.

I was replaced by AI.

Because I couldn’t be replaced directly, e.g. by using AI to do my job, the job description itself was changed as the business pivoted.

We used to be a software development company. Now, we’re an online AI school. The thing about AI schools is that you can monetize unfinished prototypes — the only thing AI is good at — and the process of making them.

I wasn’t strictly “replaced” — they just found a small-scale way to not need engineers at all.

Well, it’s time to make my own startup!

One thing I like to do online is obscure references to old movies. If someone says or does something in a forum that reminds me of a character from a movie I will say: "Hello <character's name>" If the name is recognized people will say so because it is a fun thing. Or they will respond with quotes from that character. Other people will join in on this too. An example of this is calling someone Raymond who estimates the exact number of things in a picture. This is a reference to the character Raymond from the movie Rain Man. This character was autistic and could could numbers of things instantly accurately.

However there is a chance the name is so obscure that it just sounds weird. Nobody gets it. Maybe they recognize it is a reference maybe not. This goes unnoticed and unheeded.

There is an even more remote chance that this is in fact the person's actual IRL name. However, if they are on a semi anonymous platform then they cannot confront the person calling them by that name because that would out them. Also, if they PM me about it they are outed again. So if this occurs this person will now wonder how the fuck someone knows their real name. Silent torture and wondering about it for a couple of days.

A manifesto

Spirit animal of b2plane.

Working on some linux shell/terminal stuff and chatgpt really is both a saint and a curse

It's super helpful but like half the stuff it tells me is just flat out wrong

Never forget to double check guys!

I've just learned that some unicode codepoints (like 𘀀) are wider than 1 cell in a normal monospace terminal

Yay, i hecking love unicode
(i want to die)

Yes, send me a screenshot of the logs. Beacause I love having to re-type the error you just got. If only there was a way to copy paste text in Slack!

I did not know I was working with my grandma...

Wow, compared to youtube, people on devRant are actually a sane and friendly bunch.
Shoutout to the crazy idiots here, I love you all! 😄

These github assholes really shat the fan when selling out to M$. I'm trying to access an open source project. I can't. Apparently I'm IP banned. I never go there beside to download software once in a while.

Motherfuckers.

Getting your wisdom teeth out is no joke.

I feel like I ate a half a bowl of Captain Crunch.

How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?

You console it.

We have a bug.

I fixed it, then I said it was a super tricky bug, a race condition in the library code, and that I had to put on an issue and wait for their answer.

Boom, day off.

God I'm a genius.

Dark Humor

Lets try some seriously dark dark humor. Lets find what lurks in the hearts of men.

My Kid: I was adopted.
Me: We wouldn't have picked you.

Oedipus: <whilst banging his wife> You remind me of my mom.

What do you call Rock Hudson in a wheelchair?
Rollaids

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before the launch?
You feed the dog, I will feed the fish.

Some I found from searching web:

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in 2 dumpsters.

If we had mosquito nets in Africa we could save millions of mosquitos from getting AIDS.

Down syndrome in military is called special forces.

Mom told me to eat my vegetables, now where do I put the wheelchairs.

Whoever thought white men can't jump obviously never watched the 9/11 footage.