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How do you mentally check out and stop caring at a toxic job?
Been at this big fintech for 4 months. Small teams, impossible deadlines, undefined tasks, missing specs, constant context switching. Everyone's doing overtime/weekends while management sets you up to fail then blames you. Performance evaluations every 3 months.
Was literally about to quit tomorrow but need the paycheck. So I'm turning this into an experiment - I'm a recovering people-pleaser who's never set boundaries at work. 9 years in my career, never been fired, I left multiple times due to burnout in the past.
Time to see what happens when I stop caring about pleasing incompetent managers and their made-up deadlines. Work at my own pace until they get tired of me. How do you actually do this though?
- How to not give into false sense of urgency induced stress?
- Ask for proper specs without feeling guilty?
- Work slower and not hate yourself for it?
- Push back on unrealistic expectations?
I'm burned out and need to learn how to be strategically as mediocre as possible for my own sanity.
Anyone been through this mindset shift?7 -
Is it just me or other people too sit to code and then look at the time and suddenly 4 hours have passed? I feel so disoriented at that point of time 😭14
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architecture/framework/schema/system is best judged by how much neglect it can take before breaking down.7
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Week : 92 (Year 1 )
I am tired, guys. Mortgage, EMI—I have to keep up.
I wanna exit this loop. I am stuck. How are you gonna spend this weekend?
Question : What’s something you still don’t understand as an adult?
last Weekend : https://devrant.com/rants/171877239 -
Had 1 beer in a pub. Had difficulty walking back to hotel.
You can tell I'm not a big drinker.
2 more weeks to pass here, in Dublin. And not get run over while crossing a street [u know, opposite traffic].
Somehow...
All for the sake of that promising project.10 -
IIS, aka Apache But Worse, with the world's shittiest plugin manager, a graphical XML config editor that only shows the attributes of one node at a time, invalid configuration errors that don't tell you anything about which part of the configuration is invalid, and a custom GC config optimized for hosted .NET apps that's somehow even less suitable for hosting than the default desktop GC config.
I had to enable 3 categories of Windows features and 20 additional features that weren't included in the default set for those categories just to host a WCF service.7 -
why... WHY do I always attract all sorts of weird problems...
I feel like it makes me look incompetent :/
Like this side-gig. I had a client who brought us essentially half a rack (20 blade servers, 7 units of network equipment) and asked us to spin it up. No passwords, no topology - nothing. It was my first such "project".
So I'm setting it all up, using chatgpt and notions of vlan theory from college years ago. I managed to make smth work. Went away for the rest of the day. Hours later I come back -- no longer can connect to ovpn running on a MikroTik router. wtf... connect to office router's vpn, winbox via mac to the router to see wtf. Everything seems alright, except when I try to `/ip route print` it just hangs there. Tried a few times. -- same result. As if routes just got borked while noone was touching it. Found someone who's working with networks wtf, he said he's NEVER seen this happening. A router reboot sorted this out. That's weird problem #1.
I finished reverse-engineering and re-setting up the networking, sketched a topology with patching scheme and asked colleagues to take it all to the DC. They did it, connected it all up. 5 nodes aren't accessible via network. So I connect remotely to the router's openvpn and try to see what's up. Indeed, some servers are reachable, others aren't; even though MT switch (router's downlink) sees those servers plugged in with link up, servers don't see the link. I noticed some ports aren't trunking some VLANs. I started adding those ports when the winbox connection dropped out of the blue. 5-4-3-2-1-reconnecting... it reconnected. Yayy!! But wait, where is everything...? All interfaces -- gone (physical ones too). All IPs -- gone. All routes -- gone. Everything's gone. Half a minute later I'm disconnected again. The switch IP is no longer pingable. Servers plugged into it aren't reachable either. That's weird problem #2.
Then I figured I might try to see whether I can see anything from the router level. Try to ssh to it -- attempt was dropped, as if 22/tcp was closed. wtf? It was working in the office. winbox into it -- yayy, that works. Try to open a terminal via winbox -- a dialog pops up "Terminal <1> - not permitted (9)". wtf..? I Google this error up, it says that user is a member of group that does not have telnet and ssh permission. Indeed, I loog into groups -- the group 'admin' does not have them. Try to add them -- also not permitted. And I'm the 'admin' user, a single user in the router after a factory reset. How the hell else do I change permissions if even admin is flipped a finger.
That's weird problem #3
And now I look like an incompetent prick with two left hands who is only breaking shit.
And it's been like that my whole career
Why... How... ffs, that's getting annoying. Maybe I should downgrade myself to a QA. Problems find me themselves, I don't even have to look for them2 -
My favourite passtime is asking awkward questions I already know the answer to and seeing how long it takes the person to work out that they fucked up, that I know they fucked up and how monumentally they fucked up.3
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I think I'm now a tabs person, it's the only character where the width can be easily adjusted for different devs without changing the underlying file's data24
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Week: 93 (Year 1 )
The weekend is here. Planned already?
Question: What are the signs your body tells you that you shouldn't ignore?
last Weekend : https://devrant.com/rants/1748983516 -
Found this ancient, forgotten task that was basically a QOL improvement.
Given that the feature would shorten the time of testing from some 10-15 minutes to 2, I left a comment mentioning that it would be immensely helpful.
!too long after, the report started seeing some traffic && the feature got actually implemented.
Checked the implementation as soon as I could.
- Speedup worked well regardless of platform.
- Slowdown /* which was never actually mentioned in the task as it wasn't crucial */ was also implemented, but the mobile phones were omitted, since the implementation would be too complex for the time allowed for the feature implementation. I was perfectly fine w/ it, as this wasn't actually necessary for those.
I left a proper comment, thanking for the feature implementation.
...then the lead tester chimes in, bitching about the lack of implementation of the slowdown on mobiles.
Got the same explanation as I mentioned earlier - too complex for the time allowed. Plus, the feature had other platforms in mind. Having it working on mobiles was just gravy.
Good call, lead, now - ask for another favor.
I'm sure it'll go well, since you can't be satisfied w/ getting what you need. You need that special pampering, too.
/s2 -
If anyone needs a casual game that's not long, and that you can play after you put the kids to bed, I recommend Neva. It's a fun, indie, left-to-right platformer.
My full review: https://battlepenguin.com/gaming/...3 -
Monday - delivered feature1. Manager demands starting to work on new feature2. I start working on feature2.
Thursday - in late evening manager provides feedback from testing feature1 for which internal testing starts Monday.
Friday. I start investigating. Everything is fucking broken. Backend contract broken from BE side, UI broken by another team member's PR from FE side. Missing configuration from FE side that was not documented anywhere.
I start working on issues from my side, inform relevant parties and coordinate that they would make fixes on their side (ofc after getting a lot of pushback trying them to force me to write workarounds to work with their broken implementations)
My manager during the day: what was the reason for us being blocked now?
Me: broken BE, broken FE by another team member, missing undocumented configs. Too late (and incomplete) testing feedback. Having to switch to feature2 priorities before finishing everything with feature1. Basically all things out of my scope.
My manager: so just to clarify we are blocked from internal testing because YOU missed this? Why it wasnt caught sooner?
Me: due to 5 same reasons that I listed before, I can list more but would prefer focusing on getting things working today
Manager: Ok, as WE discussed let's focus on getting things working and discuss about improving this processes in the future.
Seriously it fucking sucks working in this bank as a mobile developer.
We are responsible for basically everything.
From scoping out work according to business requirements, documenting stuff, to creating/maintaining BE contracts and constantly double triple checking everyone else's work across the chain.
Actual mobile implementation or proper testing is like the last priority in this case. And yet we are the ones that take all the blame if we fail to meet arbitrary deadline.
Fucking hell. Im gonna start documenting all decisions of this retarded manager, I'm not gonna allow him to throw me under the bus due to failures caused by his own shitty decisions10 -
Imagine having put so much effort in spamming on both devRant and my personal portfolio repository with 20 to 50 items a day and just failing on both. My site does like devRant cleaning up every few seconds instead of getting some better captcha or disable API. I won't make my site less comfortable to work with because such loser. I already thought of a fun prank i can do with him. But for now, i'm too busy for that. Sitting in a wheelchair must piss someone off very hard.6
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Tell me, how in God's name does opening jetbrains toolbox hard crash the VM it is being run inside?5