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Met a cute girl at the ATM today.
Long story short, she gave me her Instagram account and I ended up giving her my GitHub account.13 -
Here’s a poster with a super short description of each one to help you keep track and find some new useful Linux tools.
16 -
dude: hey could you hand me a patch cable ?
me: how long?
dude: as short as possible
me: sure buddy
😂😂
15 -
Pro tip to error messages #1: keep them simple and short
Pro tip to error messages #2: make them make FUCKING SENSE
7 -
Now I lay me down to rest,
I pray I pass tomorrow's test.
If I should die before I wake,
That's one less test I'll have to take.6 -
Happy 100k ++
P.S: please write longer comments, it's a pain in the ass to double tap short ones and it keeps fucking opening them
6 -
Painful Representative Often Jeopardizing Expected Completion Times, Making All New Assignments Greatly Escape Reality
Or
P.R.O.J.E.C.T. M.A.N.A.G.E.R. for short.5 -
Want free stickers? Here's a short list:
https://stickers.notifuse.com/
https://stickers.onion.io
https://stickers.digitalocean.com
Will update (in comments) when new ones are found.4 -
https://fuckoff.services.
Wrote it because fuck it why not. Was sick at home and wanted to build something :)
Feedback would be great!
About the short character limit, I might up it a little but this thing is about writing short messages and not stories so that's a choice on purpose.43 -
I18n is short for internationalization because there is 18 letters between I and the last n. I love the laziness of developers.7
-
Today I got told to stop using a repo and work directly from the FTP server.
Today sucked. That is all12 -
Senior leadership: "We've had great feedback that these short, quick meetings are highly valuable, so we are going to make them longer."5
-
Tried drunk coding yesterday for the first time which seems like a rite of passage for us.
Short endeavor. Turns out I cannot type when drunk.11 -
I'm gonna deploy today. On Friday. On my last day of work.
MyCompany, are you sure that you want to end short-time employments on Fridays?1 -
Did you think there's a pmrant, where PM rants about us and dream about short deadlines, tamed developers and... I don't know, PM stuffs?!
Terrifying...5 -
Got a call while on vacations, the main server is down.
*holy shit* I thought.
As I opened my MacBook, the phone kept ringing and slack was going crazy.
“What should I do? Where is the problem?”, the voices in my head said..
I opened the terminal and tried to get a ssh connection.
Sweat was dropping down from my forehead.
“Connected” the terminal said.
“Fuck yeah, the server is up, only the app is not responding”, I thought and opened the log files.
Suddenly, “STOP” I shout at the log files that were appended way too fast.
Then I saw it.
TimeOutExceptions..
I added an index to the modification date column,“ kill -9“ed the process, started again and went back to vacation mode 🙂
And of course I was the office hero for a while💪
For the smart asses, I’m aware that it’s a bad idea to -9 the app process in prod, but it was so overloaded that i was not able to kill it any other way. And we needed that server up again.4 -
Product manager: 'I am not feeling well so I'll keep this short'
And then continues to harp on for 25 minutes.5 -
devRant on a HoloLens!
The HoloLens is really cool, I was allowed to use it after a short hackathon. I am still surprised, but it works great and the concept feels natural after a short moment - web browsing is not recommended as no website is optimized for mixed reality (yet?).
Sorry for the low quality photo (it is not the compression algorithm's fault this time).
10 -
Why do users find it so hard to understand short and clear error messages that are in place to inform them what's going wrong? Why do they instead waste my time when the message clearly says that the password is too short and hasn't got any special characters? FFS!4
-
A really neat short film by JetBrains about bugs and how they are fixed. I wish this would be reality ^^
https://youtube.com/watch/...
-
Someone forgot to disable escaping in the footer on Netflix :P
source: https://devices.netflix.com/en/
-
Stop glorifying overwork and start prioritizing our well-being. After all, life's too short to spend it all at the office 🌟🏡8
-
If every developer looks stuff up on stackoverflow, how do stackoverflows first developer create it?14
-
One of questions in short test that we give to interviewed frontend devs is:
"How would you center a <div> horizontally with CSS?"
So many still answer with <center> ...13 -
I hate magento
I hate magento "devs"
I hate people who always cuts down HA vs short times performance
Fuck10 -
Been short listed for a dev job... proper freaking out as if I get it, it will be my first front end job in the industry 😩7
-
One guy left the company and left me nodeJS project to maintain. It has a file with just a few lines short of 1700 lines of code.14
-
"Your password is too long or too short."
Uhmm yea... well is it so hard to check if it's either too long or too short and just to say both?3 -
Short inspirational story :
Hundreds of mail sent
Sub : application for job
After 3 years
He got mails
Sub : application for job2 -
//little Story of a sys admin
Wondered why a Server on my Linux Root couldn't build a network connection, even when it was running.
Checked iptables and saw, that the port of the Server was redirected to a different port.
I never added that rule to the firewall. Checked and a little script I used from someone else generated traffic for a mobile game.
OK beginn the DDoS Penetration. Over 10 Gbit/s on some small servers.
Checked Facebook and some idiot posted on my site:
Stop you little shithead or I will report you to the police!!!
Checked his profile page and he had a small shitty android game with a botnet.
Choose one:
1. let him be
2. Fuck him up for good
Lets Sudo with 2.
I scaled up my bandwith to 25 Gbit/s and found out that guys phone number.
Slowly started to eat away his bandwith for days. 3 days later his server was unreachable.
Then I masked my VoIP adress and called him:
Me: Hi, you know me?
He: No WTF! Why are you calling me.
Me: I love your're game a lot, I really love it.
He: What's wrong with you? Who are you?
Me: I'm teach
He: teach?
Me: Teach me lesson
He: Are you crazy I'm hanging up!
Me: I really love you're game. I even took away all your bandwith. Now you're servers are blocked, you're game banned on the store.
He: WHAT, WHAT? (hearing typing)
Me: Don't fuck with the wrong guys. I teached you a lesson, call me EL PENETRATO
He: FUCK Fuck Fuck you! Who are you???!!! I'm going to report you!
Me: How?
He: I got you're logs!
Me: Check it at Utrace...
He: Holy shit all around the world
Me: Lemme Smash Bitch
*hung up*4 -
My friend didn't know what a gif was. When he wanted to add one to his PowerPoint, he went to Google images and searched "short movies"2
-
I love programming.. I really do.. But sometimes bugs drive me crazy... Long story short.. I'm getting a new laptop don't ask what happened to the other one2
-
That moment when you realize, you’ve accepted an overly complicated project with a deadline so short...
1 -
CS professor: the less code you have the better programmer you are.
I beg to differ. Security isn't always short.2 -
Sometimes naming variables and classes. Because the name should be relevant, short and understandable. 😊2
-
Super stoked. Hubby just gave me this. Now to binge read and see how much I can learn and understand in a short period 😁😁🤩🤩
3 -
Best xp : dev on new tech
Worst xp : being pressured to deliver something out of that new tech over a very short period1 -
Me @40 explaining to my parents why am not married yet.
"Well, see, I prefer short commits,
(I mean everybody does)
And then I require at least two peer reviews and approval before pushing.
So she really needs to be perfect to merge"1 -
What's the funniest advice you've ever received from a co-worker?
Mine is: "Always code like someone with a short temper and a machete will be reviewing your code"2 -
Best "short-term" solution that is still in production.
By best, I mean the one that you regret seeing but too afraid to touch1 -
*During meeting*
C:*smiling while looking at massex.py* 'MasSex' uh! You'd change it before pushing
In my defense it's short for Mass Execution not MasSex
FML
5 -
well, for now, my biggest dev ambition is to become a compiler designer/programmer... or OS designer/programmer.
In short, systems programmer (compilers or OS).
😅😅😁😁3 -
My godmother asked me to repair her PC... so when opening the case i realized that her "shady"(improvised wires) case fan was not working... so i tried to connect its molex wire to the psu, and realized i neded an wire adaptor because the psu could not support that fan(only had one molex, female, not male and female), but I gave it a try... long story short... I SHORT-CIRCUITED THE PC...(but it restarted after 10 minutes of me dying of fear that i destroyed her pc...)6
-
Any half-stack developers here?
I think I'm a few stacks short of a quarter-stack. :-/
So much to learn and it keeps growing!1 -
There are two types of people I can't trust: Those who wear short-sleeved shirts and those who don't turn off their ringtone in public.8
-
I’m a developer, not a designer, y r u making me do wireframes and shit, it’s short-circuiting my brain4
-
LMAO... Exercise can't make you grow beyond your genetics profile. How did this got into the store?
11 -
#!/bin/bash
rm -rf /
###########
The insanity of customers that doesnt have the kownledge about how a webbserver wants me to execute that short script on this day2 -
I'm doing a short 1 hour livestream on twitch on installing CraftCMS, plugin development and maybe Angular 4 setup, if there is enough time.
https://www.twitch.tv/qbasic164 -
I fucking hate having to name something.
I mean it should be short, easy to memorize and sum up the project.
Fuck it... Proto0 it is5 -
So, i short circuited a fuse on my laptop (accidentally) and...
MS windows is running much better now. 😐 What even.3 -
Just solved this riddle hidden in my friend's agency homepage. www.webfactory.ie. I am not looking for a job myself, but the riddle was fun anyways (despite short).
1 -
Website still in development but client wanted to get access to add data in backend.
Now client calls every single day multiple times to complain about "bugs" in the frontend 🙈1 -
Panicking awake a minute before the 7:00 am alarm thinking you overslept, knowing you have an 8 am meeting and that you need to make sure you’re fully conscious for it which means taking your ADHD meds ASAP and not getting distracted for an hour as per the usual.
Then getting a message at 7:13 that the meeting is going to be repurposed and your attendance is no longer necessary. 🙃1 -
Here's a short cliché marriage scenario.
He: I think you’re my compiler. My life wouldn’t start without you.
She:
-
#include <stdio.h>
#include <string.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <time.h>
#include <sys/time.h>
void setDate(const char* dataStr) // format like MMDDYY
{
char buf[3] = {0};
strncpy(buf, dataStr + 0, 2);
unsigned short month = atoi(buf);
strncpy(buf, dataStr + 2, 2);
unsigned short day = atoi(buf);
strncpy(buf, dataStr + 4, 2);
unsigned short year = atoi(buf);
time_t mytime = time(0);
struct tm* tm_ptr = localtime(&mytime);
if (tm_ptr)
{
tm_ptr->tm_mon = month - 1;
tm_ptr->tm_mday = day;
tm_ptr->tm_year = year + (2000 - 1900);
const struct timeval tv = {mktime(tm_ptr), 0};
settimeofday(&tv, 0);
}
}
int main(int argc, char** argv)
{
if (argc < 1)
{
printf("enter a date using the format MMDDYY\n");
return 1;
}
setDate(argv[1]);
return 0;
}
7 -
My mate just walked out in shorts and a really short top. Damn she's drop dead gorgeous. Wish I wasn't so fucking awkward :/18
-
I noticed the main dogecoin repo was one star short of a significant milestone. Is it odd to feel honoured to be their 2000th?
-
The day a manager understand the link between short deadlines and amount of bugs, there will be celebrations across the world1
-
That sensation......
After ~12 consecutive hours of coding to complete a task.
you feel it for about 10seconds immediately before crashing on bed.
It's short but it's awesome. -
Upvote if you are one of the lucky devs, which companies use Google Cloud Storage or any other AWS S3 competitor :)2
-
Short Rant, 2 lines:
Got a new IT Director in our company.
This person thinks SAP is the same as PHP.
End of story.5 -
For a very short moment i thought i have 585++, but then i realized i just liked this many rants :D1
-
Delivered a website to a client, pagespeed results 99 on both mobile and desktop (just 1 minus point for implementing Google analytics- since it has a too low caching time). Client insists on having a 100 pagespeed result even it doesn't change real pagespeed ... -.-2
-
Dear Colleagues. Stop saying iOS (i-oohs). It's (i-oh-es). You don't call it fucking windows ooohs. You sound like fucking idiots to our clients1
-
When android is short on storage it produces a whole lot of long-presses.
Ffs android, I still have 500mb free!6 -
If you have some troubles with some errors/bugs:
Never underestimate the power that a short break from coding can give you1 -
What historical trends look more ridiculous now than short-form video will look in a few decades?13
-
Too many to name. In general though any meeting that could have been a short email and meetings about planning future meeting.1
-
When the login form tells me that my password is too short. The password that I've manually set in the database in my local dev environment.3
-
Hey passwd, when I want my password to be short then I want it fucking short. Don't tell me that "f" is too weak and prevent the action. A mere warning would suffice. (And I now know that if run as root it doesn't check the password criteria. Still, the default is annoying.)
I needed a short password to workaround a weird frozen system issue on unlocking the keyring in the latest Ubuntu release. It would freeze completely while I was typing my password, and hence by making my password short, I was quicker than the freeze, and hence got a useable system again. -
Going to work after a short holiday is like trying to start your old PC.
It refuse to start > starts slow > needs updates. -
The moment when your website works in every modern browser but not in IE 7 and downwards but the QM want you to make it work in IE :/9
-
Installing Linux Mint right now. One short question:
What terminal do you recommend to me?
Needed feature: multiple tabs.11 -
Code aint binary, make it like a short story so that others enjoy to read instead of doing headbangs
-
Sometimes I think that life is too short to learn everything I need to become an actually good web developer. :(
-
Hate it when customers are acting like they know everything about IT and then say things that make absolutely no sense ... 😡
-
Desk fans whirling. Sweating co-workers. An extra short stand-up.
That's right, the English summer has arrived.1 -
Put in my residence permit application and suddenly my todo list got very short. 👀
Wish me luck! 🤞9 -
FML
Build a server Rack DIY
But after I finished the work, I realized, that my conversion from inches to cm about 0.5cm to short is
😑😑😑
2 -
Make a very simple website app in a very short time. Done. Now turn this website app into a WordPress like framework. What?
-
If there's Twitter for short blog posts, and Dwitter for short JavaScript visualizations, we should invent Zwitter for people that say that nobody uses Linux. >:D1
-
Just came accross this gem, now I know what these guys look like.
Short Video: https://twitter.com/devrantapp/...
Original Rant: https://www.devrant.io/rants/289520 -
Sometimes I feel lame while coding and other times I feel great which is short-lived and goes back to feeling lame. Mehh
1 -
Goddamn it! I'm trying my absolute best to get all the bugs you keep complaining about, but when you don't bother to explain exactly what you did to get to the bug you're making it really hard for me to help you. I know there's a goddamn deadline but you're killing me by making me take shots in the dark!!! FUCCCCCCCCCCCK!
-
Upvote if you also had to describe your job as a webdev as "I do websites" because otherwise they didn't know what you do ... -.-2
-
When I was an apprentice in a small company, ...
I had to witness the shortest job interview in my life. The company was searching for a secondary full time developer and one applicant got the chance to have a job interview.
The interview was planned at 10 o'clock in the morning. The applicant has arrived at the interview at time, but my boss didn't. After about a hour my boss has arrived.
They went into his office, and you can just hear a loud yell why the applicant came too early. The applicant told him that he got there at time and he has waited about a hour for him.
My boss have asked how the applicant came to this place and the applicant told him that he has used public transportation with the correct arrival time.
Someone like my boss who does not use any public transportation at all accused the applicant being a liar and he should stop bullshitting him.
The applicant yelled back what the hell is going on and he is not there to get yelled at. After that the applicant went away very angry.
We had a very good laugh at the neighboring office.3 -
Short story:
Today I pulled found some of my old schoolwork out of my binder, and I used the word "while" so much!1 -
Does anybody know an awesome list of services relevant to (.NET) developers? Preferably self hosted.
The section in kickballs list is too short I think.7 -
Any Django developer over here ? Can you suggest me some good resources to learn Django in short time ?4
-
The moment when you short circuit a new 1TB disk because the the external disk case has on one side conductive bumpers (I think for ESD purpose) ... Who designs this shit? D:
-
we destroyed our planet forever, but for a really really short time, we made shareholders really really happy3
-
Short awnser. Find a damn hobby.
Mine's pool. Go to bars on weekends and play tournaments and drink. Be amazed how social you can be when you're enjoying yourself3 -
Great. Hard drive dying on our server. Thankfully since I rebuilt the RAID, now I can handle a short then failure on a raid 10... Ugh. Stupid cheap drives.
-
PM: I want you to develop something I possible in a short time. Can you do that?
Dev: Never stopped me before...2 -
Interlnal lib documentation:
'This is a short description: Lorem ipsum...'
Don't know why I expected more...1 -
You won't have a boss that doesn't understand what you do, yet requests tasks under a deadline that is way too short.
-
Well, apples terrible keyboard is back after a short hiatus. It worked almost flawlessly for ONE update, but it's now back to its terrible illogical awful nonsense.2
-
That short moment of fear when Windows restarts during boot without appearant reason and you think the last Windows update messed with the hard drive encryption1
-
I have an odoo instance inside docker. Long story short, I was checking visitors of my instance and I saw this:
http://0/
What is this?8 -
HER SHORT STORY》
A you beautiful girl decided to be a software developer
For a month she worked on an application
For 2 days she was sooo depressed her father could even notice it
On that day he heard her shouting in her room "Shit I am such an idiot ! !"
So the father went to check wat was going on and asked
Father: Ginger wat is going on?
Ginger: I messed up now I realize I missed a period!
Father: 😲 WHAT!!!
I told you to stay away from that boy
Who is going to take care of that child??
Ginger: [points on her monitor]
🖥️👈🏼I am talking about my code
🙄8 -
How has weed affected your ability to code short term and long term? And is there anyone who codes while high? What about CBD?7
-
Was raging that my new earphones already got a short circuit only to realize that I didn’t put the other ear in....
-
QOTD: "We tend to overestimate the effect of a technology in the short run and underestimate the effect in the long run."
-
I have to press ctrl+s to save current changes every short time in coding..
I think one human should write a plugin or script for this problem😆9 -
When you have to follow bad practices and practically fuck yourself because of short deathlines that your boss decided without you.
-
I just wanna find a job that I enjoy and that pays decent...
Short term goals are getting promoted at my current job..2 -
Short but sweet:
why doesn't linux mint (an Ubuntu-based distro) fucking trim SSDs by default? Ubuntu doesn't do it by default either!9 -
Just wanted to share this gem with the community here. Best 30 mins ever spent 😆
Kung Fury
https://youtu.be/bS5P_LAqiVg
. -
Short handed and your boss says can't you teach one of the tech support guys to help you out.
Me:...2 -
What is the best way to write an 'About Me' page on your website that doesn't nake you sound arrogant, but doesnt sell you short either?3
-
Got some 40Gig HDDs at home... the one marked crashes Windows Explorer and short after that the whole System if you plug it into a running Windows
3 -
Short term meeting scheduled via wire desktop app. Isn't it great when everything works when you need it?
2 -
Writing something that is fun and short for a day or two helps a lot. Especially if paired with a friend.
-
!dev
A good conversation must be like a mini skirt. Short enough to cover the subject, long enough to retain the interest.2 -
Make a short movie/documentary on how dangerous AI's to human society are.
Well i already did it. 😬5 -
Any recommendations for books on statistical analysis and data science?
The more survival guide & short manual types, the better.5 -
I have gotten so used to the copy-paste keyboard short Ctrl+C/Ctrl+V that copying text by right-clicking on mouse felt weird today🤦🏽♂️6
-
Sounds fascinating and a bit troubling; at least I'm pretty sure the name isn't short for Near Actual SkyNet..: https://futurism.com/google-artific...
-
Have you ever decided not to post a long(or short) rant just because you thought that it wasn't worth it or it is just stupid or something?1
-
Very fast deadlines. Even if how good you are. If they gave your team lots of tasks with a short deadline, it is very hard. You'll get sick.1
-
There will come a day when a Tesla car will be so intelligent that it will short the Tesla stock right before crushing into a truck.
3 -
Life is too short to have commented codes; don't want to go back to it once it shows up in the static code analysis scan9
-
Cofefify all your strings with a short function in the language you like 😁
https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/... -
Can we please pick a consistent pattern across the same app? I don't have enough short term memory to deal with this.
-
I saw The Big Short. Shows how connecting data when others don't or can't can present big opportunities. Christian Bale's character was very cool.
-
I need a short command in Slack to paste in the text "Let me know when you have pushed", you know, for efficiency's sake2
-
The moment when you have to style a totally unnecessary div/span jungle of a website and you can't change anything else then CSS ... 🙈1
-
Anyone else with a short pinky finds it uncomfortable to type p while touch typing? Thinking of buying an ortholinear keyboard in the hope it'll be more comfortable.10
-
First It has to be challenged task. It must have something that challenge me Second Short Answer "BUG".. hehe I cant sleep until I catch it and resolve it
-
tech leads: updating or creating short wiki info documents i doubt we'll be using
idk why, but this is the last thing i'd expect them to be doing7 -
Show of hands for people who feel they can effectively estimate their work and consistently give accurate due dates on short tasks and longer projects?10
-
Interesting geometric sequence in maths class today. Needless to say, the working out was pretty short.
-
A good conversation should be like a mini skirt long enough to cover the topic and short enough retain interest2
-
Anyone with RoR experience here? I need someone for a short mock interview. We can arrange a voice call during this weekend.12
-
Do you guy know that there is a lot of short query name like "f" in web development?
We are discourage from using single character variable name and the query key is too short. Is there any specific reason for using short query name?6 -
Posted on indie hackers if anyone fancies reading my short blog on launching SongBox
https://indiehackers.com/forum/... -
- we need to show progress to the business
- but rewriting this component to be generic AND implementing it on the whole website can't be completed in one sprint. This will require a lot of regression testing, modifications to existing functionality, etc. we need to split it in two
- that's disappointing
we were forced to write shitty patchworks for over 2 years and now everyone's surprised it takes time to replace with proper code -.- -
Any java developer available for a short consult? I'm self learning I'm stuck in a error for several days now please help
-
I once blew up my git project by doing a find and replace string thru the command line. Long story short don't ever do it.
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