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Well apparently my compression algorithm actually made the file bigger. Back to the drawing board I guess?8
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TLDR; i wrote recursive compression with random algorithm to fuck up some lazy ass girl.
one day, unknown classmate told me she has a family reunion and cannot do his programming assignment which will be collected next day in the morning, so she ask me to do it. i say i need to put a price tag to it because i want to buy a new RasPi --i don't know her either so i don't feel bad about it. i told her i need $20 and after some bargaining it settled at $15. i work on it about 3 hours and told her it's finished and send her demo video as a proof. she happy with the result. and will come to my house later that night to get the source code. at night, she came, and give me only $8 bucks, of course i get mad, with every arguments she throws at me i resist to give her the source code. but since i tired enough to get into a longer arguments i accept the 8 bucks i go upstairs to get the source code. but instead of giving her the actual source code; i wrote a quick script to do 50 compress source code folder recursively with random compression algorithm--sometimes gzip sometimes lzma. and give her the final 50 times compressed source code. EAT SHIT MOTHERFUCKER11 -
Algorithms real life implementation
On the way to your college canteen? -> A* search
Waiting in line in the canteen? -> Queue
Notice that girl standing in front? -> Linear search
Searching for her dad in the phone book? -> Binary search
Stupid! Google it! -> Trie
Search for her on Facebook! -> Depth-first search
Found her! Friend request? Accepted! Send a Hi! -> Graph
Writing her a secret love letter? -> Caesar cipher
Uploading your first date pic on fb? -> Image compression algorithms
Looking through her Whatsapp messages? -> KMP algorithm
She found out and had your first fight? -> Start over with some gifts! Backtracking
Got her list of items to buy? -> Array
Too many items! Low on cash, maybe? -> Priority queue
Making her play treasure hunt for her gifts? -> Linked list
Wait! Go back! Is that a ring? -> Stack
Girl’s family not agreeing to your proposal? -> Divide and conquer
Got married? Congrats! Going for your honeymoon? -> Travelling salesman problem
Your mom packing luggage for you? -> 0/1 Knapsack problem
She packed your favorite pickles? -> Hash table
Driving to the airport? -> Breadth-first search1 -
Since I love playing music on my piano, and because I love programming, I created this:
A program which uses YIN (some kind of FFT algorithm) to create this audio spectrum. It can read from any audio source, be it microphone or the computers audio output. There are 3 lines in the graph at the bottom:
Both magenta lines, both are movable, allow you to just select a part of the audio spectrum to show, which is very useful if you just want to get the chords out of a song, or just the notes.
The cyan line can also be moved, it tells the program the lower limit to calculate the actual notes/chords from the frequency bars (which are calculated by the FFT algorithm).
In the top right of the spectrum is, in magenta color, one single note. It shows the currently loudest frequency as a note.
In the top right corner is a simple image of a one-octave piano. Every note over the cyan line will be shown on this piano. This is very useful for chords.
Since compression will fuck this image up, here is a link: https://i.gyazo.com/fbbee76faecbac3...
What do you think about it? I fucking love it.
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Remember kids: the more space a compression algorithm saves, the slower it is to deflate/inflate!
(imho this is why xzip isn't as mainstream as it is)5 -
Not being able to look at people’s faces in person.
My autistic empathic mind-reading hyperperception works best when it has a lot of data, e.g. when visual contact isn’t obstructed by a video compression algorithm. Without that sense, my brain has to work extra hard to read minds. It becomes exhausting. When I don’t have this power for some reason, I feel very anxious. In absence of data, a naturally anxious and depressed brain assumes the worst.1 -
Ticket: implement compression algorithm to crypto object x
Details: object to big, we must devise a way to compress it. A deflate algorithm should be added here, yada yada yada we did not have the time Yara yada...
Go see crypto provider's documentation... It has compression options... -_-
You lazy fucking stack overflow copy question dimwits!!! Jesus fucking Christ! This reached production like this shit, I've got clients complaining of the size of the payload because you are a bunch of lazy fucks who can't even read simple documentation!!!
I want to kill someone for wasting my time and patience... Don't call me for this kind of crap... I have better things to do!
I mean, the time it took you to write the ticket should suffice...
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