Dev Badass Rant

There are two occasions really:

1) For our C++ project in the third semester, we had to build any kind of C++ application. Guys in team of 4-5 built record keeping systems and calculators and one even made a Tic-Tack-Toe app. My friend and I, just the two of us, made a simple program that plays Rock Paper Scissors with you. With the power od OpenCV, it used the camera to track your hand movement, predicts your next move using contours, and displays the winning move as the computer's move.
For example, if you play Rock, the computer would predict that you were gonna play rock and display paper as it's move. It wasn't perfect, but it was ours, right from scratch. When it worked at the presentation, I was swell with pride. 😂

2) I was interested in game dev so I started Unity. The first tutorial in Unity you find is the web series by Unity about rolling a ball. You simply make a platform and control the ball with your keyboard and the camera follows your ball. You also make pick ups and get points based on that. So I started there, finished the tutorial, added a few walls, made edible and non edible pick ups, dimmed the entire scene, adjusted the camera angles, transferred controls to mobile gyroscope and added a few other things and voila! MazeBall was born. It has only one level and I thought it was pretty shit.
I decided to show it to a friend and when I showed it to my mate (the one who I worked with in the C++ project), my other classmates saw it and were impressed. Like so impressed a couple of them transferred it to their phone and took home with them. 😂 Was inspired to improve.

So apparently some genius motherfucker managed to allow Androids that are missing or have a bad/inaccurate/busted gyro to run VR apps as long as they have a magnetic sensor (compass) and an accelerometer, using both to spoof the gyro. It requires root, but goddamn is that smart... It's even potentially more accurate than a gyro in quite a few situations, since it uses the compass and can even be used to override the ACTUAL gyro, so if the gyro is busted, drifts like a motherfucker, is inaccurate, etc. it can alleviate the issue!

and google's always like "well this shit is impossible to do" then the community comes along a month later and does it

So I became a panel for a students' oral defense for their apps in the IT dep, I'm a lowly plebian STEM but oh well I guess they did spot me making apps on the library on my lunch time.

Anyways here's what happened:

I reviewed two groups and here's my input on them:

- Group one did a app that uses the gyroscope to control a character in the screen, and avoid obstacles. At first I don't know how to play it but I figured it out nonetheless, since I'm reviewing in the customer perspective, I shunned them because of poor UX, and poor performance. Idea was there but execution is fucked - and the fact its a one man stand when there's 6 persons in front of me.

- Group 2 did an app that behaves similarly to our shitty eLMS, I liked the UX and the UI but I gave them a few pointers to improve it more and recommended it to replace the current application (yes because it was really exceeding my low bar for their department).

It's kinda obvious which one I picked to get to the stage on their graduation. They deserved it but I felt bad for the girl in the last group since she did everything so I gave them a passing grade. But if I were to individually grade them: I'd pass her and fail the rest.

How'd I do as a panel judge my angery dudes?

I had interest in studying medicine since a very young age but I started coding before I got admission. I found medicine fun because of that.

I perceive hormones and receptors as events and event listeners.

I perceive the all or non responses of neurons as binaries 0 and 1.

I perceive the vestibular apparatus in the ear as a gyroscope and accelerometer.

I perceive the human body as a machine 😂😂

In a real-time multiplayer competitive game where you control a vehicle, is it feasible to simulate the whole thing on server side, such that the client only sends controls and receives sensor results? I mean like the client doesn't even know its own precise rotation, just the readings of a gyroscope and an accelerometer which are both susceptible to errors, and deduces the "down" direction from those two and approximate control forces. This would both solve hacking (writing a good robot is just as challenging) and lead to fun results like an attitude indicator going crazy from a gust of wind.

If anyone has read any of my posts before you may know, they're usually of a certain... Shall we say, dark, nature?

Well this possibly represents one of the darkest things I've imagined (with regards to technology and programming) I've had.

I was asked if I want to be buried or cremated when I die and they seem so... Pedestrian and I thought long and hard about what would be a fitting way to honour my life and what to do with my remains and it came to me...

I want my flesh to be only partially treated with formaldehyde so chunks of me rot away and others don't.

I want my skeletal structure to be replace with titanium rods with actuators and servo motors where my joints would have been with an internal gyroscope to assist with balance and my corpse will be installed with some sort of IOT controller board with on board wifi.

The companion smart phone app will allow my partially rotting cybernetic zombie corpse to be driven around by a bored grave yard grounds keeper while kids are doing LSD pretending they're all that.

Make them really believe the apocalypse has begun and the dead have risen.

I could be a whole thing for future corpse disposal too.

"Smart corpses, for the loved one who will be more intelligent in death than they were in life."

Although that's probably a bit too harsh...

Client: hey, we need to build an interactive campaign page. Something that can be fun on mobile too..
Developer: o...kay... such as?
Client: how about a 360 environment and mobile can make use of the gyroscope?
Developer: should be fine but may I know what is the browser support we need to cater to?
Client: IE 9
Developer: .... ok we may need a fallback for non-supported. May I know how about the timeline?
Client: 1 month.

FML.

A client once asked me if he would have to adjust the Google maps internal gyroscope monthly or every quarter. I told him it was a good practice to do it every two months or so.

I just remembered that I still have this somewhat decent micro controller (that even has a gyroscope on it) from a few years ago when I got it as a gift but never used it and was never really interested in it. This changes everything!!