Being a developer is hard

Apart from having a baby which is the hardest in the world，i think the hardest project is to learn to code.

I studied philosophy and anthropology but gamed a lot. Me and a good mate decided to work together and he told me hed teach me coding.

The guy is a genius but he is a reckless rebel genius who tells everybody to fuck off.

So，after 1 year in a half of intense coding where i had to learn linux， networks， and im not shitting you html and css as well and of course javascript.

He has now put me on， for the last 2 month， in charge of our front end backoffice. I have to design forms that do the right http requests，do the unit testing， play with redux-form， react-redux and he has thrown me into the basic java backend so i can begin working with entites and how i serve the data and link it to the database and even create tables.

Every time i fail hemakes me remake everything.

I actually came on devrant to study the dev community (i always gamed a lot but this is a whole different community). The dev community is pretty awesome and unique.

Anyhow， i remember when i saw him as me to complete an exercise and i didnt event know which words were the reserved language ones and those i could use myself. It was like fucking magic.

I need someone to relate with me

This crazy ticket finally got put into integration testing after coming back from testing 6 different times with problems. Its an issue with lots of race conditions and machine dependent problems. Im so proud that its finally going to staging after all the hardship and then they find a problem in staging and have to revert it out. Im devastated. I look like a fool for failing this ticket yet again. I cant even find a fix for it quick enough cause its such a difficult process. I feel like an absolute failure today.

1) I like to break through complex systems to understand them on a fundamental level
2) I live by the mantra of "If you're going to do something, do it right"
3) I'm a stickler for detail and strive for simplicity and organization

These three descriptions of my personality describe why I love to code: there's nothing more satisfying than taking a jumbled, wrong ugly mess of software and turn it into something beautiful and simple that anyone can effectively use. Makes all the hardship worth it IMO