TL;DR: Fuck you Apple.

10:30 PM, parent needs iPhone update to update Messenger. How hard can this be?
Need to update iPhone from 9.x to latest, which is so outdated it still required iTunes. Fk.

Boot iTunes on Windows 10 pc that is at least 10 years old.
Completely unresponsive
Crash in task manager
Launch and is completely unresponsive. (Also starts playing unrequested music.. Oh joy..)
Fuck this, go to apple.com to download iTunes exe
Gives me some Microsoft store link. Fuck that shit, just give me the executable
Google “iTunes download”. click around on shitty Apple website. Success.
Control panel. Uninstall iTunes. (Takes forever, but it works)
Restart required (of fucking course).
2 eternities later. Run iTunes exe. Restart required. Fk.
Only 1 eternity later. Run iTunes, connect iPhone.
Actually detects the device. (holy shit, a miracle)
Starts syncing an empty library to the phone. Ya, fuck that.
Google. Disable option. Connect phone. Find option to update.
Update started. Going nowhere fast. Time for a walk at 1:00 AM punching the air.
Come back. Generic error message: Update failed (-1). Phone is stuck installing update. (O shit)
1x hard reset
2x hard reset
Google. Find Apple forum with exact question. Absolutely useless replies. (I expected no less)
Google recovery mode. Get into recovery mode.
Receive message: “You can update, but if it fails, you will have to reset to factory settings”. Fuck it, here we go.
Update runs (faster this time). Fails again. Same bullshit error message. (Goddammit, fuck. This might actually be bad.)
Disconnect phone.
… It boots latest iOS version. (holy shit, there is a god)
Immediately kill iTunes. Fuck that shit.
Parents share Apple account
Sign in, 2FA required.
Fat finger the code.
Restart “welcome” process.
Will not send code. What. The. Fuck.
Requests access code on other parent’s iPhone.
No code present. What???
Try restarting welcome process again. No dice. (Of course)
Set code on other parent’s iPhone.
Get message “Code is easy to guess”. Ya. IDGAF
Use code on newly updated iPhone. Some success.
Requires reset of password.
Password cannot be the same as old password (Goddammit)
Change password.
Welcome process done.
Sign in again on same phone after welcome process done in settings. (Nice.)
Sign in again on other phone with updated password
Update Messenger.
Update hangs. Needs more space.
Delete shit.
Update frozen in App Store (Really??)
Restart iPhone.
Update Messenger.
Update complete past 2. Well that was easy.

Apple, fuck you.
Some call Android unintuitive, but I look at the settings app on iPhone and realize you aren’t any better.
This company hasn’t been innovative since 2007. Over 1000 USD for a phone? Are you fucking kidding me?
Updating an iPhone from iOS 9.x is probably uncommon anymore. But this is a fucking joke. Fix your shit.
Shit like this is why I’ll never again own an Apple product. I have HAD IT with the joke of a business.

Thanks for reading.

Storytime
A story about an Android TVbox which decided to become an iPad

Several years ago we've bought an android tv-box. 

It served me and my family well for several years.

Specs are not that important in this story, but there they are:

Android 4.4 
1GB RAM
Amlogic quadcore 1.4HGz
8GB memory.

This device served us well - online TV, browsing, music, file sharing and so on. But recently cheap Chinese memory deciteed to take a break and damaged ROM. Because of that device won't boot. The only option was to take it apart and "short circuit" certain legs on memory chip and make it boot from SD card and install new firmware. After such operations tv-box worked well again. 

Hoverer, memory glitched again and again and this algorithm was repeated for several months.

But that is not what is this story about.

One day memory went completely crazy and there was no way to install new firmware on it. It just hanged on install. (BTW, it was official firmware for this device)

But after countless attempts it finally worked! It installed the firmware and booted into launcher and connected to WiFi! 

But now comes the most interesting part. 

It was not android anymore.

It decided to became an iPad.

My dad logged in to his Google account via tv-box and got mail that someboby connected from our IP via iPad (we don't have an iPad) and using safari browser! Stock browser is not safari browser.....

"Ok, nvm, crazy glitch." - we thought.

But preinstalled play marked wont launch. Because he told us, that we're trying to connect from iPad.

And Google chrome page suggested to download chrome for iPad

And everything was acting like it is an iPad.

OK, downloaded iTunes, why not??? ._.

Tried to install elixir for android via apk from flash, but then memory glitched one more time, everything went black and tv-box had damaged ROM again...

After that we decided to not torment it anymore...

That's it. Poor Android TVbox that all his life dreamed to become an iPad. Rest in peace.

is this only happening for independent developers?

Been ages since Apple changed their iTunes Connect page (aka developer console)
And guess what? They made it even brighter T_T

It was always white background but the icons where darker, now I go blind every time I open that shit

I spent 2 hours fighting with itunes connect last night to find out that one of their Ajax calls was throwing a 500. Seriously, Apple?

So Apple did make iTunes connect better but why the hell would they disable the tab button to move to next text box? I hope its just something wrong on my end or that would be a dumbass move -_-

On a side note, devRant need to have a category for Apple so it makes it easier for at least me to rant about them -_____-

Shame on Apple to use AngularJS on their iTunes Connect developer portal.... and probably other sites.
Today I discover that while inspecting the source code in search of an element that might have been hidden or missing and to my surprise I saw angular code in it !! WHATTT? !! shame on Apple... the links of the iTuneConnect still mention WebObjects (a Java based web-building framework that was never adopted by the mass) but the client code has Angular on it. How is it possible that they did not try to come up with their own framework for web applications ? They started the entire web-widget html/Javascript adventure, promoting modular web component and what not to then adopt a Google made framework ?! . No wonder they are syncing again. :D ... of course I am just runting... I love you Apple.

Wanted to push an app update before xmas but itunes connect seems to have holidays as well 🎅🏼🤶🏼

One thing I don't understand, when I want to sign into iTunes Connect website, I have auto fill filling credentials, Apple first shows only email field, click next, then it shows password field, click next then you are logged in.

Why is it like this? Username and password are both filled, but yet need to click login twice to access my account -_-

It's such a weird thing to require a friggin macbook to compile and push applications onto an iphone. Even more strange is that you need a developer license, which in itself costs 99USD.

I understand that it kinda is more secure, but i don't even mean to push an app onto the store, i just want to test stuff.

Currently trying to set up a macOS VM on my work laptop that inturn will connect to the iphone over iTunes (?). Hopefully that'll work out somehow.

My goal is to get an AR Kit application from Unity3D working on that device to test out if everything works, and then go from that. But even Unity only just generates an XCode Project, which inturn needs to be submitted to XCode, which then inturn will be compiled etc.

I don't get it.

Came in office and a ton of sites are suddenly being blocked.

It never was.

Proceed to continue to work, but cannot connect to iTunes Connect.

Not sure if boss wants to stop me from wasting my time on Youtube and working too 🤔

Latest version of the iTunes Connect app doesn't let the user type in their password. Text fields are blocked for some reason.

Wonder if my app would be approved of it had such a ~secondary~ issue.

Fuck you apple!!!
I wanted to add some old audiobooks I have in mp3 format to my wife's Iphone...
Ok, connect it to the computer. No direct file transfer. Start iTunes...updates... Import library..ok.. it's imported locally but sync then???
Sync purchases.. no
Mark stuff and move.. no way (got it playing in chrome somehow when trying to unmark everything)
Got to "buy stuff now page".. close it iTunes.. start it again and come back to same page..
Then I.. shamefuly Google "transfered audiobook iPhone" and got all the pages how to sync when you already bought items from appstore...
...
Eventually I transfered the files folder by folder. There is probably a better way to do this but I were at the ends of my rope so I archive this as a narrow win.