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Friends Pandemic December proposal: "We should all get on Zoom every weekend, play Christmas trivia games and do shots"
Family ideal Pandemic December: "Lets send each other Secret Santa presents throughout the whole month, and get on Zoom and unpack them"
Me: Chilled out on a reclining seat next to a freshly slaughtered green fir tree, burning hearth fire, warm wool sweater, faux fur slippers, big mug of liquored up hot chocolate, keyboard on my lap, writing a Rust library on big screen TV.
Sorry friends & family, y'all are doing holidays wrong.
-- signed, Grandpa Bittersweet.12
Technology never stops to amaze me.
I bought hdmi stick with nes emulator, connected it to power using usb on my tv directly no power adapter needed - only cable, it has 2 remote pads powered by batteries, all fits into my pocket and it has removable sdcard that I can connect to my computer and upload games.
I can go to someone’s house, bring up this little fella and we can play games together. It only took 40 years to do it.
Damn I remember playing, mario, contra or micro machines as a kid.
Spent 8+ hours playing great old games already lol.
I just need portable 60 inch tv screen or projection screen and battery that would power it for at least 8 hours and fit to my pocket and my life is complete.
Imagine you go to the bar, sit, grab a beer and play mario with random people all night.6
This is a program of the Russian TV channel called CTC on 9th of May. From top to bottom:
- Shrek 2
- Shrek the Third
- A minute of silence for those who fell in the fight with the fascism
- Shrek the Third
- Shrek Forever14
Biggest challenge I overcame as dev? One of many.
Avoiding a life sentence when the 'powers that be' targeted one of my libraries for the root cause of system performance issues and I didn't correct that accusation with a flame thrower.
What the accusation? What I named the library. Yep. The *name* was causing every single problem in the system.
Panorama (very, very expensive APM system at the time) identified my library in it's analysis, the calls to/from SQLServer was the bottleneck
We had one of Panorama's engineers on-site and he asked what (not the actual name) MyLibrary was and (I'll preface I did not know or involved in any of the so-called 'research') a crack team of developers+managers researched the system thoroughly and found MyLibrary was used in just about every project. I wrote the .Net 1.1 MyLibrary as a mini-ORM to simplify the execution of database code (stored procs, etc) and gracefully handle+log database exceptions (auto-logged details such as the target db, stored procedure name, parameter values, etc, everything you'd need to troubleshoot database errors). This was before Dapper and the other fancy tools used by kids these days.
By the time the news got to me, there was a team cobbled together who's only focus was to remove any/every trace of MyLibrary from the code base. Using Waterfall, they calculated it would take at least a year to remove+replace MyLibrary with the equivalent ADO.Net plumbing.
In a department wide meeting:
DeptMgr: "This day forward, no one is to use MyLibrary to access the database! It's slow, unprofessionally named, and the root cause of all the database issues."
Me: "What about MyLibrary is slow? It's excecuting standard the ADO.Net code. Only extra bit of code is the exception handling to capture the details when the exception is logged."
DeptMgr: "We've spent the last 6 weeks with the Panorama engineer and he's identified MyLibrary as the cause. Company has spent over $100,000 on this software and we have to make fact based decisions. Look at this slide ... "
<DeptMgr shows a histogram of the stacktrace, showing MyLibrary as the slowest>
Me: "You do realize that the execution time is the database call itself, not the code. In that example, the invoice call, it's the stored procedure that taking 5 seconds, not MyLibrary."
<at this point, DeptMgr is getting red-face mad>
AreaMgr: "Yes...yes...but if we stopped using MyLibrary, removing the unnecessary layers, will make the code run faster."
<typical headknodd-ers knod their heads in agreement>
Dev01: "The loading of MyLibrary takes CPU cycles away from code that supports our customers. Every CPU cycle counts."
Me: "I'm really confused. Maybe I'm looking at the data wrong. On the slide where you highlighted all the bottlenecks, the histogram shows the latency is the database, I mean...it's right there, in red. Am I looking at it wrong?"
<this was meeting with 20+ other devs, mgrs, a VP, the Panorama engineer>
DeptMgr: "Yes you are! I know MyLibrary is your baby. You need to check your ego at the door and face the facts. Your MyLibrary is a failed experiment and needs to be exterminated from this system!"
Fast forward 9 months, maybe 50% of the projects updated, come across the documentation left from the Panorama. Even after the removal of MyLibrary, there was zero increases in performance. The engineer recommended DBAs start optimizing their indexes and other N+1 problems discovered. I decide to ask the developer who lead the re-write.
Me: "I see that removing MyLibrary did nothing to improve performance."
Dev: "Yes, DeptMgr was pissed. He was ready to throw the Panorama engineer out a window when he said the problems were in the database all along. Didn't you say that?"
Me: "Um, so is this re-write project dead?"
Dev: "No. Removing MyLibrary introduced all kinds of bugs. All the boilerplate ADO.Net code caused a lot of unhandled exceptions, then we had to go back and write exception handling code."
Me: "What a failure. What dipshit would think writing more code leads to less bugs?"
Dev: "I know, I know. We're so far behind schedule. We had to come up with something. I ended up writing a library to make replacing MyLibrary easier. I called it KnightRider. Like the TV show. Everyone is excited to speed up their code with KnightRider. Same method names, same exception handling. All we have to do is replace MyLibrary with KnightRider and we're done."
Me: "Won't the bottlenecks then point to KnightRider?"
Dev: "Meh, not my problem. Panorama meets primarily with the DBAs and the networking team now. I doubt we ever use Panorama to look at our C# code."
Needless to say, I was (still) pissed that they had used MyLibrary as dirty word and a scapegoat for months when they *knew* where the problems were. Pissed enough for a flamethrower? Maybe.9
For God fucking sake! The absolute worst platforms are TV's.. LG - WebOS has barely any documentation and a framework that runs very poorly. Not to talk about the 200 bulletpoint self checklist you have to go through before you can submit a new release!
Samsung - Tiden TV... Told me to contact a content manager, and I've almost been waiting 3 months now for any answer, haven't heard a word. My boss thinks I should write another email and cc him so Samsung will get scared... Jesus fucking Christ this sector is a bunch of arrogant lazy fucks1
!rant Security training at work comes in the form of a serialized TV show where each episode concerns some security topic kind of tangentially and ends with a “REMEMBER… “ followed by the lesson you were supposed to get from the episode.
I kind of love it. A lot. I actually look forward to security training, and I’m not the only one. They stagger the release so you can’t binge watch all the seasons at once and you get three episodes at a time. 😂1
Why THE FUCK is screen mirroring without being in the same wifi network a thing?
Why THE FUCK have all these smart tvs turned this on by default?
Why THE FUCK does the list of found devices SORT itself RANDOMLY if another device is found.
I probably mirrored my phone screen to a random tv in the neighbourhood because as soon as my finger was about to touch the name of my tv, a random tv swooshed into it's place.
WHAT THE FUCK THERE IS NO FUCKING NEED FOR THIS FEATURE IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY ACCESS POINT AROUND, THERE WILL BE ONE IN 99% OF ALL POSSIBLE USE CASES.
I mean if I got it right, i can share porn with my neighbors now, or at least annoy them?8
I have nothing to play recently so I started playing old games.
Today I launched gta vice city on my old pc. Got more than 200 hours in that game during my childhood. Game from 2002 and I laughed when driving a car. It was so natural and fun. Michael Jackson singing Billy Jean and police chasing my ass when I’m trying to find a bribe in the city. That was fun.
For me most of today’s games can’t compete in gameplay mechanics with that game from 20 years ago.
Maybe we have better graphics but gaming fun got worse.
I think it’s cause most of games are made on commercial engines to save money and game studios focus on graphics cause it’s cheaper than paying software developer.
They focus on games to be competitive between players so ai got worse.
Big studio games became generic like movies, they don’t want you to have fun but they want to give you a story around by delivering lots of content in game, achievements, stars but the gameplay itself is bugged and meh.
They don’t focus on things people want to do but they focus on target groups. Most today’s big title games are meh cause they’re made by people who don’t play them.
They don’t play them cause they don’t have time cause of management that changes requirements cause they asked target groups and that would sell. Well if I play a game I’m not interested in story despite some basic stuff to keep the progress forward, if I wanted a big story I would watch a movie or tv show. I play games to explore, feel the world and have fun. I don’t need a linear deep story for that cause I’m in game so give me good gameplay so I can feel the world.
Most of classic game hits didn’t had tons of text and tons of stuff to do but they somehow wanted you to play more. Cause they were competitive between player and computer, the controls felt natural and while progressing you was eaten by the game mechanics more and more not by the story but by amount of stuff you could do as you progress or difficulty increase or enemies behavior change.
Now we’re getting all at once, mostly pointed and with detailed tutorial what you can do. There’s no explanation there’s no discovery what you can and what you can’t do at start. You get all and you decide to throw game away because the moment you launched it you got everything so you spent money just to get stuff you won’t play cause it’s meh and you go back to cs or other looter shooter to kill people cause you’re pissed off that the game was meh.
Well I’m glad I was a kid in 90s and 2000s cause I could enjoy gaming before it was targeted to broader public and become another shallow mass media industry that don’t give a fuck about gameplay cause they want to tell you so many things, they want you to know them cause they’re so important that they forgot that I can read a book and I came to play game to get a different feeling then reading book.
Modern games are like books filled with small stories and nice graphics where you can open it on every page and read a little piece of shitty crap.
Just take this piece and go to toilet so you can wipe your ass with that story and begin other one, look around, puke and go to toilet to take a dump again. I lost my hope to get something fresh or filled with nice gameplay from gaming industry. It’s dead.5
Devils Advocate moment: A proper PM can assist greatly on projects.
Don't get me wrong, you have all for the most part been faced with the incompetence of glorified quasi manager positions. But a proper PM can be a gift really.
I absolutely despise generalizations, I do get that percentages matter, but shitting on professions when the realm of possibilities have yet to be touched to the full extend of capabilities seems like child's play really.
remember, y'all think you are all God's gift to the world through coding experience, but a solid network engineer might have as much gripes about developers as y'all do about managers, project managers, sys admins etc, and the same shit can be applied vice versa.
Software engineering is magic, in the sense of the tv show "The Magicians" where you can make an incantation and suddenly your penis/tiddys explode: inexact science.
Be a tad bit open minded, learn enough about their shit to tell them that they are fucktards, and run from the ones that know but don't fix shit.
Block off blocks of time as “unavailable” and use that for me time. Gym. Take a walk. Watch some tv. Read a book.
I swear the amount of self proclaimed "i am the top 1%, i figured out the system" bullshit social medias has enabled, makes me sick down to my core.
STFU you fucking retard, how the fuck do you manage to be this stupid and retarded you waste of space trash, when you have access to the internet with a lot unlimited information, how the fuck do you manage to come out with such idioicy bullshit:
"moon landing was fake, the moon is made out of cheese, vaccines injects pest, you are being controlled and brainwashed by tv waves"
Of cause you without any education and being jobless are smarter than scientists, astronauts, rocket scientists, doctors, military personnel and experts etc.
I swear comment sections where every idiot can say anything they want (specially on news related things like videos and articles) are unbearable and i simply ending up being dumber by reading them. And yes i useually read comments, in the hope of finding decent comments, so i hear other opinions etc about something.
This is in no way a rant about i find myself smart or shit like that, since i am useually wrong about a lot of things.
I just lost it and got tired of all that retarded bullshit idiocy mixed with fake news and conspiracy thories bullshit. People who are spreading that garabage trash, are completely worthless toxic waste.7
Putting mobile phone to DnD.
Putting on Bluetooth headsets with ANC, blasting some good shit music.
Violently cooking or desperately ordering food at the good restaurants.
While waiting, grinding some coffee beans, making fresh coffee or some nice tea with milk.
Laying on the sofa in a food induced coma, turning on any streaming service with the real bad shitty movies.
Hentai Kamen, The Machine Girl, ...
Anything thats either pure groteske bullshit or that doesn't require more than a braincell cause it appeals either to the violent or complete nonsense side of my brain.
Last but not least, a few cold beers.
ANC headset stays on, just switching from music to tv - shutting out all the outside noise.1
when I was like 11yrs. old, my father has bought a new phone for himself. I used to play a lot of gta vice city those days on my PC. one day i got to use a card reader to exchange multimedia between PC and the phone.
so, i copied gta vice city in my phone. bcoz i knew that i can move around the players using the phone's d-pad. I was left broken when I saw the error msg. in the phone: "file not recognised"
After few days, my friend wanted to play gta-vc, so he asked for the game CD. but this guy didn't have a computer in his home and he won't listen to me when I try to tell him, "you can't just play a video game in your DVD-player with a TV remote??" So, I gave it to him.
Next day, he was angry at me, bcoz the game didn't worked, obviously it was me who hve messed something in it. :-/
What utterly stupid things you guys or your friends have done?9
I heard Google has prepared an AI for solving competitive programming questions by training models based on problems and solutions from GitHub.
*devil smile*...on my way to flood GitHub with wrong solutions. Ciao!6
**Sees a different error after hours of debugging the previous one**
ME (crying inside) - What type of sorcery is this?3
I think all our jobs are safe
I've been sitting in a laundromat watching what passes for children's tv because they won't change the fucking channel.
This is not return to oz or something wicked this way comes or even Aladdin's
This is in fact more retarded than the tellitubbies and it will make the gen of kids that watch it amazed with us as if they we were goddamn magicians
To all German Devs - can you help me out with some employment law?
I have a TV-L E13 contract in the uni. I've been travelling a lot for work lately, and the journey is always falling on my rest days (Saturday or Sunday). Can I ask for compensation for spending 7 hours in a train on the weekend?
I would not care if it was a one time thing, but it already accumulated to a lot of days....10
Any of us had annoyances with people with “a million dollar app idea” but what about these which gives unsolicited career advice?
I’m dealing with a boomer which keeps trying me to change my career and work into cyber security (because TV told him it’s a well paid field) despite me kindly telling him for multiple times which it’s not going to happen because I won’t throw away a career I love to work in a field which seems deadly boring to me (I love anything about coding from design to typing for hours on Vim meanwhile the only thought of reading for hours obscure documentation to find potential vulnerabilities on a system kills my spirit).9
I wrote a script to scan a site for this tv I want to buy. At first, I just wrote a get request to the site every 30min. After while, I realized that the TV is selling out because it’s getting stocked, and then sold out within 5 minutes.
Can I send a get request to this site every 5 minutes, without causing harm to the site? I really don’t want to mess this guys site up lol8
"Okay, this is way OT but here it goes. Back during the GW Bush days I noticed something strange. All five TV networks suddenly started using human(s) to refer to us. Gone were humanity, humankind, mankind (!), people, person(s), us, we and human beings I about barfed when I watched an ingenue said her best girlfriend had found a wonderful human to marry.
I see three problems. One is the way putative competitors started this newspeak in lockstep. Another is the degradation of English. The last is the loss of emotional content. Saying "Humans are responsible for climate change." is so blah it's like somebody else is responsible, like Martians, maybe like somebody else is responsible, Martians, maybe.
I apologize for the wording of this rant but I am forced to use a phone with one hand due to severe injury.3
Which movie or TV show do you think has caused the most damage and confusion about how programming actually works?
For me it's Silicon Valley with their "Tabs VS Spaces" scene where the dev who advocates spaces actually hits the spacebar key 4 times manually.
(In reality no does that - everyone just hits the tab key and most Editors convert the tab into 2 or 4 spaces bars on your setting. In fact a vast majority of github repos use spaces - despite some of their devs now thinking "I use tabs")1
I guess Apple is running out of $$$s if they are shifting towards ads.
Either that or they are trying their best to milk their cows dry using all the techniques available.
Sooo.. paying fortune for apple products just to see some ads you could see... for free :D Nice touch.
First computer I saw was an Apple II running Oregon Trail in grade school. Then I played computer games on my uncles Apple IIe. The first home video game I ever saw was Pong. It was a device you hooked to the RF input on the TV. It had 2 paddles to control the input (single axis controllers). The first game console I played on was the Atari. The first computer I programmed was on a black and white Macintosh. Then the other programmers in my high school told me the PC was better. Well, it was better for learning IMO. That was with Windows 3.0. But the programming was Turbo Pascal in DOS. DOS gave you complete control of the machine. Better at the time for me learning to do graphics and sounds programming. The first computer I bought was a 386 and I played with VR programming. Made my own joysticks using the limited joystick port. Fun times learning electronics and software together.
Browser automation is a PITA. I’m going on my fourth side mission with this crap and I honestly still look like a newbie. I’ve tried Java Selenium with Chrome, Excel VBA with IE9, Vanilla JS in the browser console, and tonight I’m thinking to concoct some kind of hybrid CDP & Selenium approach in Chrome. Never used CDP before, not even sure where to start but I heard it sucks like anything else unless you get some extra libraries and plugins and stuff.
It doesn’t help that I can’t get just anything I want from our IT Department. It would be another PITA to ask for puppeteer. If puppeteer is totally legit please let me know.
Selenium sucks. The buttons don’t click, the waits don’t wait. Its unusable. Iframes are annoying as all hell but I can deal with that. HTML Tables suck too. It doesn’t help I have to restart my whole java program and whole Chrome every time an element doesn’t get picked correctly. Scripting one single element can take all fucking night.
Chrome dev tools what the fuck. Why the fuck is the DOM explorer in the same window as the web page I’m working on?? I can’t undock it. Am I supposed to use a fucking TV screen to work with this bastard?? If I use the remote chrome tools on port 9225 or whatever - It Still Renders The Whole Fucking Page Alongside The Console. Get Out Of My Way!!! The nested HTML CODE IS ONE CHARACTER WIDE ALL THE TIME. I can’t for the life of me figure out what the fuck I’m looking at. Haven’t you people ever heard of A HORIZONTAL SCROLL BAR at least.
Fuck I tried using getElementById, and the Xpath thing and its not all that great seeing I have seemingly 1000s of nested Divs all over the god damned place oftentimes containing a single element. I’m finally on chrome now should I learn Jquery now? I mean seriously wtf.
I use this one no code tool for dev it has web automation built in. As you can imagine its just as broken as anything else!! I have 10 screens to navigate it gets stuck on the second screen all the damn time. Fuck I love clicking the buttons when my script misses and playing catch up with it.
I can’t get the new selenium that has CDP but I do have some buggy ass selenium from a few years back. Yeah, I remember reading there was a pretty impactful regression defect in the version I have. Maybe I’m being gaslighted by some shit copy of selenium?
The worst part is that I do seem to be having issues that the rest of the internet’s devs do not seem to be having. People act like browser automation is totally viable and pretty OK. How in the fuck hell is my Selenium Test Suite going to be more reliable my application under test?!!?? I’ll have more fucking bugs in my test suite than in my application. Today, I have less than half a test script and, I. already. fucking. do.
I am still SUPER PISSED at the months of 12 hour days (always 8 hours spent on normal sprint work btw only 4 to automation) I spent trying to automate our regression tests. I got NOWHERE.
I did learn a lot about HTML and JS though like I’m not that mad…but I’m just trying to emphasize my achievement on my task was zero.
The buttons don’t click. There are so many divs and I swear you sometimes need to select a div somewhere in the middle sometimes to get it working. The waits don’t wait. XHR requests are invisible. Java crashes 100 times before I find an xpath and thread.sleep() combo that works. I have no failure modes to use — Sometimes I click the same element 20x in a script because I have no way to know if it clicked the first time! Sometimes you gotta scroll the page to make the click work. So many click methods all broken. So many wait methods all broken. Its not just the elements don’t click! There are so many ways to click that almost work but surely they all fail the same in the end. ok at this point I’m just repeating myself…
there yet even more issues that I can’t remember…and will soon remember as I journey into this project yet again…
thanks for reading I hope I entertained and would love to hear your experience!7
Everyone’s first computer seems to be a genuine piece of history.
Mine is a laptop from 2008 that I still use as a media hub for my TV.
I have a pretty old sansui tv in my room that I lost the remote for ages ago. I would like to remotely control the TV without having to buy the actual remote for the specific model (which is ~$28). Any ideas on how I can find the remote codes for the tv so I can program my own remote? Let me know if u guys have any ideas, thanks!!3