Just a joke I found online:

One day I was facing some issue with Outlook and I raised a ticket to get it resolved. I got a call from the Service Desk lady after some time and it went this way:

Lady: Hi I'm calling from service desk, what is the problem?

Me: (I explained the problem).

Lady: Can you please share your screen and give me the control so that I can solve the issue?

Me: (I shared the screen and gave the control. She solved it!!)

Lady: You may close the ticket from your end, the issue is solved.

Me: Thank you very much, I will close the ticket.

I opened her profile in lync and had a look at her profile. The display pic looked small in size. I instantly messaged her Employee ID to my colleague and asked him to have a look at her. He replied "She looks good in some angles".

I tried searching her FB profile with the help of her name, but there were too many results.

I started searching on Linked In instead, I found her profile this time. I was trying to enlarge the profile pic and suddenly a message popped up - it says

"I'll share my better picture with you on your outlook ID but you may please stop sharing your screen??"
😂

Me: takling to a colleague on Skype for business

My 3 year old son: what are you doing?

Me: talking on the phone

Son: that's not a phone

Me: ... That's right, it's called Skype. But its' executable is called lync.exe. It's just trying to pretend to be Skype. Repeat after me: lync

Son: lync

Me: great! Stay away from lync. It's evil!

Have I? You're asking me?

I have no fucking clue Lync, I don't see anything. Why don't you tell me if I have ... and then where it is!

You can't call me a "nut job" on Lync then five minutes later dump your fucking work experience kid on me so that I can "tell him what to type" and "let him do some of the work". I'm a paid technical intern, not your fucking babysitter, so maybe you should pay your own kid attention rather than let somebody else to do it to make you feel superior.

You know fuck all and have needed my help numerous times, and been sheepish every time I've known something you don't. If I helped you with something, say thank you and don't act like my presence perpetually pisses you off. Sit down and show me some respect, as I always have to you, or I'll report you to HR for being a demeaning twat. Your call.

Or perhaps I could have a word with the new Director you've been arse-licking. I'm sure he'd love to hear that you have been treating like shit the one guy who can save you from the shit show of having no idea how to do the task you've been set.

I know I'm an intern but come on, I could take your job tomorrow if I didn't have a degree to go back to. If you keep being a shit to people then one day I will actually do it!

so I had coworker that I hardly knew that started hitting me up on our Lync chat system in a sort of creepy way. at first he would just ask my advice on things a lot but he seemed like he was always looking for an excuse to come by cube. then I completely changed divisions within my company. there was no reason why this guy should still be hitting me up with tech stuff but he would still every couple weeks out of know where wanna engage. he'd try to find some technical reason but nothing we did now even remotely related. so one day I kind of said to him why are u coming to me with these issues still. he said "u haven't figured it out yet. u don't know this but we know each from a long time ago". so now I'm like going through all my early schooling, college, other jobs with him. he says no to all of that. he finally says it's in the spirit level. like from another life and he's surprised I have noticed it. 😮😮😮

Microsoft Lync.
They managed to ruin Skype...

24" Vertical - Dell U2415 (1920x1200)
31.5" - HP Z32x (3840x2160)
30" - HP Z30i (2560x1600)
Compute:
MBPr - 15" - Mid 2015
HP Z620 (Xeon CPU E5-2620 v2 @ 2.10GHz x 6 Core, 128GB RAM, 512GB SSD

To be honest, the Mac is just a nice ssh console to the workstation that runs Ubuntu.

I was using Ubuntu directly on the workstation, but needed to use things like outlook, lync, and other tools that dislike Linux :(

Ask to get DB back ups done, contact DB team => cant log in => have 2 contact wintel team => they believe a reboot will sort it => contact customer => permission to bounce given => contact team to bounce => shifted back onto DB team => bd team open lync conversation about bouncing => no reply to mails if all is well in the world => sit at desk cant start dev cuz know will be sucked into aroganizing this brewery piss up with a bunch of bums....... cue putting on headphones and blasting some music at 11 ,,,,,,,,,,,, been waiting to deploy for 4 hours !!! FML

More than once recruiters have thought it's a good idea to phone my desk to try and recruit me. Fine I can just say no thank you and move on, it does however get a bit awkward when you're interrupted talking to your boss by a recruiter phone your desk and you've aliased their number on lync as 'ass clowns'

so... apparently Lync is encrypted, but if your partner doesn't notice your message it's sent as a plain text "Missed conversation with..." email...

You propose using Slack, but the boss says use Lync/Skype because "we're a Microsoft shop."

19:30, still in the office fixing server issue. Lync message pops up from "let's call him the ba", help! Need to rollback a change on someone else's project that has just been deployed changing the username and password from Xxxxxx Xxx2016 to xxxxxx xxx2016 to stop people from accessing it.... Genius design! By the way, I've just had a look at that 40 page doc of changes you emailed him. When do you want it? Tuesday. Wtf? (Bank holiday here on Monday so one day to make the changes) Ok, if you're busy, it's only text changes so can some of us help? It's only a find and replace right? Er, do you have visual studio? What's that? FU

Microsoft Lync

One year anniversary at my company and I find I personally have 4 separate exchange accounts to varying levels of synchronization. Perforce, email, lync Skype and a few others have varying spellings of "Welcome1" as the password.

Every password expiration and reset gradually adds to the slow motion landslide.

IT can't figure out how my accounts are even working in the first place and wont touch it.

Halp.

Ok,
So when at work I love working from Jira/TFS and having little interaction when i'm battling through Code/Documentation

But Next time my manager strolls over to my desk and kicks my chair i'm Gona King Leonidas his ass out the 3rd floor window

FFS please reach out via Lync if u are planning to come up and annoy my tits!!!!!!

SAP, and Lync (Skype for business?).

True story ))))))))))))