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Client: Can you provide some kind of guaranteed timeline that you're going to be able to move our website to our new servers with the optimizations implemented? I know you said it should take a week, but we have 3 weeks to get this moved over and we cannot afford to be double billed. I'm waiting to fire up the new server until you can confirm.
Me: As I said, it SHOULD take about a week, but that's factoring in ONLY the modifications being made for optimization and a QA call to review the website. This does not account for your hosting provider needing to spin up a new server.
We also never offered to move your website over to said new server. I sent detailed instructions for your provider to move a copy of the entire website over and have it configured and ready to point your domain over to, in order to save time and money since your provider won't give us the access necessary to perform a server-to-server transfer. If you are implying that I need to move the website over myself, you will be billed for that migration, however long it takes.
Client: So you're telling me that we paid $950 for 10 hours of work and that DOESN'T include making the changes live?
Me: Why would you think that the 10 hours that we're logged for the process of optimizing your website include additional time that has not been measured? When you build out a custom product for a customer, do you eat the shipping charges to deliver it? That is a rhetorical question of course, because I know you charge for shipping as well. My point is that we charge for delivery just as you do, because it requires our time and manpower.
All of this could have been avoided, but you are the one that enforced the strict requirement that we cannot take the website down for even 1 hour during off-peak times to incorporate the changes we made on our testbed, so we're having to go through this circus in order to deliver the work we performed.
I'm not going to give you a guarantee of any kind because there are too many factors that are not within our control, and we're not going to trap ourselves so you have a scapegoat to throw under the bus if your boss looks to you for accountability. I will reiterate that we estimate it would take about a week to implement, test and run through a full QA together, as we have other clients within our queue and our time must be appropriately blocked out each day. However, the longer you take to pull the trigger on this new server, the longer it will take on my end to get the work scheduled within the queue.
Client: If we get double billed, we're taking that out of what we have remaining to pay you.
Me: On the subject of paying us, you signed a contract acknowledging that you would pay us the remaining 50% after you approved the changes, which you did last week, in order for us to deliver the project. Thank you for the reminder that your remaining balance has not yet been paid. I'll have our CFO resend the invoice for you to remit payment before we proceed any further.
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I love it when clients give me shit. I just give it right back.6 -
I really fucking loathe StackExchange. Some poor soul had the nerve (THE NERVE!) to ask a question about something they didn't understand (HOW DARE THEY!):
"What is the difference between a ping and a get request? The goal is to see if the site is up."
And par for the course over at smarmy-fucking-smug-pedant-land, in less than three hours, the question was closed: "[C]losed as not a real question... It's difficult to tell what is being asked here. This question is ambiguous, vague, incomplete, overly broad, or rhetorical and cannot be reasonably answered in its current form.
Allow me to indulge in some pedantic, "well actually" fuckery of my own...
Well actually, that actually is a 'real' question, because it's, you know, a fucking question. There's a question mark in there and everything! The person is asking what the difference is between two different things, and we can tell it's actually two different things because the person uses two different fucking nouns. And not only is this person asking to know what the difference is between these two different things, they even give us a use-case for why they're asking the question: they're pretty sure that they think they might know there's at least two different ways to check that their website is up, they just want to know what the difference is between those two methods -- hence the two different fucking nouns. It's almost like they're trying to give us some contextual information about why they're asking so that even if there is some vagueness to their question -- which is bound to happen IF YOU KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SUBJECT, WHICH IS PROBABLY WHY YOU'RE FUCKING ASKING -- then a reasonable, decent, helpful person who is making a good-faith effort to be helpful can infer from that context enough information that clarifies the question enough to remove any vagueness or ambiguity and thus provide a helpful answer. AND THAT'S WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!
And what just fucking galls me to no end... the question was answered (SUCCINTLY, INFORMATIVELY, SIMPLY, AND CORRECTLY!) and even marked as accepted in less than fifteen minutes after being asked.
And that didn't stop some smug fuck from being an asshole and closing the question because "fucking scrub noobfags need to git gud."
https://serverfault.com/questions/...
If MySpace was a place for friends,
then StackExchange is the place for insufferably elitist smug cunts.4 -
here's a shoutout to 90% of websites today:
NO, I DO NOT WANT YOUR F*CKING NEWSLETTER! STOP ASKING!
NO, I DO NOT WANT YOUR F*CKING NOTIFICATION! STOP ASKING!
NO, I DO NOT WANT TO SHARE MY F*CKING LOCATION! STOP ASKING!
NO, I DO NOT WANT ANY F*CKING COOKIES! STOP ASKING!
website publishers ary whining about adblockers, but keep shoving so much shit down our throats that even a dozen browser addons can't make the web usable. the internet was such a great place once, where did we go wrong?
(rhetorical question. it's when we made access to the internet so easy, that every 100% tech-illiterate idiot could get online.)13 -
Once on my old job I had several ssh sessions and I was running some tests where I frequently restarted the application... Until I entered the restart command in the terminal of the production system and shutdown the whole application. - Still gives me the creeps today, was just lucky the customer was in a break and we could remotely restart it, so probably nobody even noticed.
Now today I run a "rm -rf *" on a folder that is supposed to be local, but after some time I get suspicious because it is taking too long.. Only to discover that the mount point of the remote resource points to my "local copy". Shit.
What is next? The "delete from ...;" without where clause? Fuck, aren't you supposed to get more experienced and cautious?4 -
So we are in computer lab with some bitch ass c++ program on the board,,its approx. 150 sloc with lot of if's and else's...halfway into the session my friend rolls on his chair comes to my system asking for help, i say sure dude why not.
So we both roll to his system and that bastard has 0 indentation,a set of brackets for every if else even for non-compound statements with every bracket in a line of its own.......
With great difficulty of restraining myself from punching him in the face,,,i politely ask him"Have you ever coded in python"
He says no
I say "that was a rhetorical question"
Everyone around us bursts into laughter and that poor lad still has no idea what just happened
Python should be made compulsory for fags like these,, they'll know the meaning of indentation only then7 -
I am angry. Do you know why? It's a rhetorical question, because you don't know why I am angry, which is why I'm going to tell you why I'm so. I Followed my friend, " Jane Doe" ( you don't need to know her actual name) to this store in my town. Then these 14-15 years old girls came up to me, and started asking me about my braces. "Where'd you get it?
" How much did it cost ?"
I get these questions like almost every single, and it's annoying. 😒
This one question got me angry. "What 'if' her braces are fake?" A girl said whispering to her friend.
Fake??? My braces are realer than you could ever be, jealous bitch. I said that in my mind, I don't have the guts to say it out loud, besides these girls look like they could tear me to pieces, and I wanted no conflict. I walked away as soon as my friend got her stuffs from the store.
My friend couldn't help but to tease me that I'm a doormat. I guess she's right. 🤔☹😤😟😖27 -
My family is very supportive. My 2 aunts are working in technical fields, and at least 2 of my cousins are working in IT and one cousin is studying CS too. My dad works in IT and since I started my studies he always talks to me about his work, when he finds errors and bugs and rants about his colleagues :D He also helped me debug some code. My mom is supportive too, but sometimes when I mention to her that this and that is hard she goes: "Oh, what did you choose?" (Rhetorical question)
But all in all I'm happy. Reactions of "outsiders" are those which bother me sometimes. But that's a different story.2 -
"Hey guys, what's up?" 😡😡😡
Why do so many people on YouTube begin their fucking videos with a pointless question noone is able to answer and which no one would acknowledge even if they did somehow manage to answer? What's up is an automatic thumbs down and fuck you.
5 -
It's always funny to see my teachers panicking when they see that I don't use the same text editor as them and on the top of that i'm on linux.
Why don't u use netbeans ?
Rhetorical question3
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