Client: Is your code functional?

Dev: Well, it's not. It's imperative. Object oriented and a bit procedural.

Client: Well, make it functional

Dev: [learning haskell]

QA: It's not working.
Me: Are you getting 503 errors?
QA: No, just the one.

Haha, always a gem ❤

*came in this morning to see this conversation in slack from the remote teams*

Dev: Hey guys, I'm trying to push to the develop branch, telling me its locked. Is there a new process?

Lead dev: Yes I locked it because the repo is now dead, the last release that went out is the last for this year and ever for this app. Were merging this app with another, starting from the last release's code. We'll all have to swap over to the new repo soon.

Dev: ... eh ok I didn't put anything in the last release branch as it wasn't urgent. Normally our process is anything in /develop goes out in the new year. I've been merging to /develop for the last few weeks ... is that code now gone?
*14 question mark emoji reactions*

Lead dev: Yes
*27 angry emoji reactions*

Engineering manager: WHAT? when was this decided? When was it communicated?

Lead dev: oh I assumed my product counterpart had been spreading the messages around, have they not?

Several teams: no, nope, first i'm hearing of it.

Lead dev: Ok, i'll ask them what happened. Be aware then that most of the stuff thats going into develop now, most likely won't be allowed in until March. They want to prioritise releasing this new merged app and don't want anything to impact it.

Dev: So wait, i'm working on stuff now. What do I do? Where do I base the branch? Where do I merge?

<no response>

*My team comes into the office*

Dev: eeehhh ... what does this mean for our past 4 weeks of work? and all the stuff needed to go out in January?

Me: not.a.fucking.clue

Client: I want the best.
Me: *starts designing a complex and pretty neat website*
Client: I don't like that. I want this. *shows me website design from 1998*
Me: *cries myself to sleep*

A typical demo...
Me: We added validation, server communication, caching....
Customer: Meh...
Me: We fixed bugs, sped up queries, implemented X features.
Customer: Meh...
Me: We surpassed the speed of light, transcended to another plane of reality, cured cancer, brought peace to galaxy.
Customer: Meh...

UI Designer: I prepared these sketches for the UI
Customer: Wow, so innovative, look at that beautiful transitions, even mobile design, just wow

Me: * dies *

Manager: The thing you working on. We need this now! Like end of the week.

Me: Desirability is not do-ability.

Manager: く( ・◇・)ヾ？

Me: I am still in the middle of figuring out how to do things in the first place, so there are some technologies to research and some problems I yet need to solve. I am in no state to just write down my solution. I don't even have enough information to even estimate how long it is going to take. I am getting there. And yes, I can rush things, but need I remind you that you want solid data as a result that actually means something? As this is *why* this whole project was started. We have some old project doing the exact same thing, but whose output we don't trust. I wonder how that came to be. Additionally, this whole project was on hold for months until I took over. So I neither understand nor accept this sudden sense of urgency. And by the way, you recently added manpower to this project. And adding manpower almost always decreases the productivity in the beginning due to on-boarding and communication overhead. Last Monday, I didn't write a single line of code due to that. So no, this week will not do, as I am also on vacation starting on Thursday that was requested and was approved by you at the beginning of the year. See you in January.

So, I'm programming a control system for a prototype aerospace vehicle. You know, the stuff that needs to work to prevent falling out of the sky.

Anyway, test day was today (was -- not anymore). Wiring all the electronics, everything is actuating and works well. Except for one part, a little thruster for stability.

I spent hours - literally, fucking hours - trying to fix the problem. Wrong address? Wrong syntax? I had absolutely no clue what was wrong. Queue the hardware guy, $stupid:

$stupid: "How have you not got it working yet?!"

$me: "I don't know, everything I'm trying isn't working. I've spent hours digging through this code and nothing is fucking working."

$stupid: "Well have you set it up for the new thruster?"

$me: "What...What new thruster?"

$stupid: "Oh, the one we installed this morning, did noone tell you?"

WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?! COMMUNICATION 101!

Working with different nationalities is interesting, and sometimes kind of bewildering. And tiring.

I've been working with an Indian dev for a little while, and while she's a decent dev, interactions with her sometimes leave me a little puzzled. She glazes over serious topics, totally over-sensationalizes unimportant oddities, has yet to say the word "no," and she refers to the senior devs as (quote) "the legends." Also, when asked a question by her boss, like "Are you familiar with this?" Instead of a simple yes/no answer, she shows off a little. Fair, I do this sometimes too, but it's a regular thing with her. Also, like most Indians I've known and/or worked with, she has a very strict class-and-caste view of the world. It honestly makes me a little uncomfortable with how she views people, like certain people belong in certain boxes, how some boxes (and therefore their contents) are inherently better than others, and how it's difficult or simply impossible to move between boxes. My obviously westerner view of things is that you can pick where you want to be and what you want to do, and all it takes to get there is acquiring the proper skills and putting in the required effort. I see no boxes at all, just a sprawling web of trades/specialities. And those legends she talks about? They're good devs with more knowledge than me, but only one, maybe two of them are better devs. I see them as coworkers and leads, not legends. Legends would be the likes of Ada Lovelace, Dennis Ritchie, Yukihuro Matsumoto, and Satoshi Nakamoto. (Among others, obv.). To call a lead dev a legend is just strange to me, unless they're actually deserving, but we don't work with anyone like Wozniak or Carmack.

Since I'm apparently ranting about her a little, let me continue. She's also extremely difficult to understand. Not because of her words or her accent, but I can't ever figure out what she's trying to get across. The words fit together and make valid sentences, but the sentences don't often make sense with one another, and all put together... I'm just totally lost. To be a math nerd, like the two conversations are skew lines: very similar, but can never intersect. What's more, if I say I don't understand and ask for clarification, she refuses and says she doesn't want to confuse me further, and to just do what I think is best. It's incredibly frustrating.

Specifically, we're trying to split up functionality on a ticket -- she's part of a different dev team (accounting), and really should own the accounting portion since she will be responsible for it, but there's no clear boundary in the codebase. Trying to discuss this has been... difficult.

Anyway.

Sometimes other cultures' world views are just puzzling, or even kind of alien. This Irish/Chinese guy stayed at my parents' house for a week. He had red hair, and his facial features were about 3/4 Chinese. He looked strange and really interesting. I can't really explain it, but interacting with him felt like talking to basically any other guy I've known, except sometimes his mannerisms and behavior were just shockingly strange and unexpected, and he occasionally made so little sense to me that I was really taken aback.

This Chinese manager I had valued appearances and percieved honors more than anything else. He cared about punctuality and attire more than productivity. Instead of giving raises for good work or promotions, he would give fancy new titles and maybe allow you to move your desk somewhere with a better view of your coworkers. Not somewhere nicer; somewhere more prominent. How he made connections between concepts was also very strange, like the Chinese/Irish guy earlier. The site templating system was a "bridge?" Idk? He also talked luck with his investors (who were also Chinese), and they would often take the investment money to the casino to see if luck was in the company's favor. Not even kidding.

Also! the Iranian people I've known. They've shown very little emotion, except occasionally anger. If I tried to appease them, they would spurn and insult me, but if I met their anger, they would immediately return to being calm, and always seemed to respect me more afterward. Again, it's a little puzzling. By contrast, meeting an American's anger often makes them dislike you, and exceeding it tends to begin a rivalry.

It's neat seeing how people of different nationalities have different perspectives and world views and think so very differently. but it can also be a little tiring always having to translate and to switch behavior styles, sometimes even between sentences.

It's also frustrating when we simply cannot communicate despite having a language in common.

I'm still remembering that one time a friend of mine asked me to pass him the WiFi-cable.

I know, that sounds like a cliche, but it's getting better...

We are both information and communication engineering students...

I told him to think about what he just said and after some seconds of thinking he responded with "Oh yea, I forgot that my laptop doesn't have a WiFi Jack..."

He's passing most exams with distinction btw...

Trying out on my own, then googling the problems, finally watching a 2h documentary on zebra communication on youtube.

So today I found out I'm a Senior Developer. Was I told nope. Just found it on my contact details on the company address book. Ask boss about it he said yes I am. Would have been nice to have been told I was promoted...

Just had a meeting with clients...
Accurate as fuck.

This conversation gonna be very very interesting 😆

I'll update further info in comments.

A quick note about node.js security.

Decompiled Discord, a widely used chat app. Found 5 vulnerabilities (that are now reported.) Why? Severely outdated dependencies.

Cloned Mattermost, a business communication app like Slack, but open source, and (from their site) the Department of Defense uses it. Found 10 vulnerabilities (that are now reported.) Why? Severely outdated dependencies.

I get that some versions conflict, and in a fast moving enviroment, that is a huge risk - but update your damn dependencies.

!rant

Communication with a new RFID-Reader:

"Hello RFID-Reader" - "何?"

Okay: "ハローリーダー" - "¿Qué?"

Seriously? "Hola lector RFID" - "Что?"

Wait a minute...
[puts wire into *correct* port of the development system]

"Hello RFID Reader" - "Hello"
- - -

It's been a long day and the brain is obviously the first thing to go to sleep... even when you're still awake.

# Day 0:

Me: "Hey boss, I want to let you know that I need this kind of information from the customer for these features, otherwise I cannot finish the project's milestone in two weeks."

Boss: "OK, just continue as far as you can get. We have to get this finished."

Me: "Well, I cannot go any further for these tickets. I need that input. Shall we leave them in todo?"

Boss: "OK."

# Day 7:

Boss: "Whe didn't you start on these tickets in todo?

Me: "As I have told you, I need some information."

Boss: "We gotta get this out of the door!"

Me: "Yes, if we want to meet the deadline, we should. Yet I cannot guess the feature. Also, let me create a column: `to clarify` and move that ticket there. As I have said: I need that information. You have to contact the customer about it and get their feedback.

Boss: "OK."

# Day 13:

Boss: "Why isn't this project finished? There are still tickets open."

Me: "You never provided the information I asked you about."

Boss: "I want an explanation not an excuses."

Me o_O: "This is the explanation. I was asking you on multiple occasions about the required feedback. You never provided it. See the columns name? It's called `to clarify`. We created it last time together. That clarification never happened even though I told you that I need it. I cannot do magic. I can only implement features, and while I can sometimes make intelligent guesses to their use cases, I rather implement their actual ones than my fictional ones.

Boss: "You should have told me."

Me: ಠ_ಠ

Dev of other system : Oh hey, we're implementing a change to this part of the system, will it affect you at all?
Me: Sure, I'll check it out. When are you planning to go live?
Other Dev : Oh it went live yesterday...

🤬😭

When you make a joke online please remember to add a smiley or lol at the end so in a couple of years - when the world controlling AI is judging you by scanning all your digital communication history - it will know when you were kidding.

P.S. super AI If you are reading this - I love robots !

Product Owner: "Our definition of done is putting it on production. So you are only done if it's on production. Otherwise our sprint goal is failed."

So we put it on production.

After deploy, some content manager appears: "Why is the system doing things? I was told this should not happen today."

"Erm, we have put the feature on production as we are only done if it's on production."

"Well, yes. But it should not be live yet!"

Oh well. Communication, or the lack thereof, does never fail to amaze me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PM: We really need to solve this problem fast...

Me: So you want me to solve the element width or to reimplement the template?

PM: Yes! (and leaves before I can say anything)

Me: *poker face*

!rant && sarcasm

For a long time now I've been trying to convince people to use secure communication. I'm used to getting called "paranoid", but the killer phrase always was (and still is): "Why do you want me to encrypt my communication, I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE, so I don't care who's reading it" - "It's not about hiding something, it's about private stuff staying private" - "Yeah, whatever"

"I have nothing to hide". That always killed the conversation... until I asked them to hand me their phones, unlocked, for 5 minutes.

"No" - "Why? I thought, you had nothing to hide and don't care who's reading it?" - "Uhmmm..."

More and more people around me are popping up in my Signal contact list.
Looks like they suddenly care a lot about private stuff staying private </sarcasm>

Oh the joy of working on service. Customer's website uses a web service to fetch a lot of their data via SOAP. We get a call on Monday that it's not working anymore. I start debugging and find out that the format of the response changed and that the code isn't working anymore with the changed response. I call the Webservice company to verify. "oh yeah, we updated the data set."
Me: Great, who needs communication about that kind of stuff anyways? - There was no notification in any form of this change. I spend hours adapting the code so it works again and had it fixed by Monday evening. Today I get a call from the customer "Hey, it's not working again!". Great. I call the web service. "Oh yeah we didn't originally mean to change the format, so we reverted it again!" - Again no communication whatsoever. I don't think I have ever been as grateful for version control. And as pissed off with a company.

Downsides of working from home: No team, communication is just horrible, endless calls that move nowhere

Upsides of working from home: Whiskey

Coding has impacted my life the biggest by having 'scrum' meetings with my family over dinner. I start with..
"What did you do today?"
"What are you doing tomorrow?"
and variations of (depending on the responses from the first questions)..
"Anything I can help with?"

It really opened up the channels of communication with my family. It's not unusual for dinner to take up to an hour.

Quite the contrast of my childhood where dinner was a "better to be seen than heard" experience and eating fast and leaving the table was a competition with my siblings.

Not to say anyone here is right or wrong about this, but I just do t get the whole privacy paranoia. Yes, I get that our rights are being violated. Yes I know I need to be aware and concerned.

People use specials rims, VPN software, etc... The bottom line is every keystroke, SMS, voice call, search text, historical reference... every piece of digital communication is recorded (At least in the US).

The sad reality is I can be as angry as I want, but unless I forego using tech or leaving the house, there is nothing I can do about it.

I await your comments, both positive and negative.

Programming is one way communication from your past self to your future self.

Yes! communication is key, but you gotta give me a little more to work with here.

A senior developer come to interrupt me.

Senior developer: blah...blah....blah about this concept...... that concept... So, any new things you learn lately that you would like to share?

Me: I am learning back C++
Immediately he stop me and said, "Why did you learn C++? It is obsolete, no one use it anymore"

Me (in my head): But, you just said what I learn. It doesn't matter if its obsolete or not. Infact you are wrong, C++ is not obsolete anytime soon. I was about to share on webassembly.

Senior developer: So, would you like to join me in a short sharing session this afternoon.

Me: No thanks, I am really busy (just want to avoid at any cost)

Dear self,

If you start a statement with “I think”, you do not have to also edit statement to add “in my opinion”. This is redundant and silly.

Sincerely,
Why are you so freaking timid?

Studying Multimedia Arts, we are required to take a couple of courses in basic web development. (PHP). Since its known as new media grrr 🙄

Coming from a webdev background, I have no problem understanding PHP. However other designers in my course do.

A friend messaged me asking me how to fix a problem while in the dev environment. She tried explaining her problem without any of the terms we use in our general communication. You can read the conversation below.

I am DONE with this woman CONTINUED!

I didn't think I'd have to put another rant about this stupidity at least not this soon but she just keeps on giving!

I have my noise canceling headphones on most of the time and when I want to hear the people around, I just put the right earcup of it to the side of my ear so the music pauses. Today we had a huge disrupt on our services because of a network switch error on the hub. I was also trying to focus on my coding as I didn't wanna do a stupid mistake on the last working day and be sorry about it in the next week.

So this woman sneaks up on me from behind calling my name - meaning she has a question, surprise! -, I say 'yes' moving my head to her side ever so slightly without getting my eyes off of my screen stating subtly that I'm also listening to her while trying to focus on my shit. She starts yelling at me 'look at me!' out of nowhere! I turn my head and ask what the problem is and she asks why I'm not looking at her face! Stupid moron, I might not be too good in understanding your way of communication but you are the one asking so you WILL wait if you'd like to hear answers.

I say I'm working on something and her answer is again 'Why aren't you looking at my face it's going to be quick bla bla did we do this like that?' and I answered I didn't remember because there's no way I'd ever remember without looking further and it was no lie.

This woman clearly has stability issues and everyone else seem to be tolerating it. It's now obvious as I'm not tolerating the nonsense I'll be the one that 'she only has ever had a problem with'.

I was quick to de escalate the situation but now I'm thinking maybe I should've responded in a way that she could understand. I wouldn't ever give a shit about it but this is getting ridiculous.

I 'work' at a Minecraft server btw.

So here I am, 12 o clock, chatting with my friends, nothing weird here.

An employee of our hosting company sends me a message, because he knows we are hosting there. He asks us if we have changed our DNS for the server move. I was scared for a second, and asked 'what server move?'

He tells me that our server will be moved to "a better performing node". He told me that all server owners were alerted over email.

So here I am, 12:30 at night fixing my DNS settings and hoping that everything goes all right.

Damn, I hate it when people don't property communicate their maintenance dates with the rest of the team, does anyone relate?

Coworker: Hey, you made some changes over here in module X?

Me: Yeah. The old way was deprecated and we need to switch all of our modules over to the new way.

Coworker: Okay. I'm working in module Y now. When are you going to get to it and make those changes?

Me: ... I sent out an email and a message in group chat saying we all need to make these changes as we find them.

Coworker: Uh-huh. So when are you going to update this? It's blocking me.

About to walk into a second round job interview. It will take my commute from an hour and a half to 15 minutes, be a much larger scale company and teams, with actual schedules and communication. I might actually cry if I get it.

!Rant
You know one of the things I love about this community is?
We have such a diverse group of people and even when those who don't speak English natively, they try to on the app as much as possible keeping it consistent. Even when they make some mistakes, no one's a dick about it (from what I've seen), which is awesome!

When you work remotely and communication from your boss or coworkers sucks and you're paranoid that they think you arent doing anything since they dont check in with you.

Actual conversation today with one of my remote developer teammates in Ukraine

Me: "next up I'd like to discuss the 'bigger picture' so you have context for the next tasks..."

Dev (after an hour or so and some chat in between...): "Yes, could you please send more details about a large images issue?"

Me (somewhat perplexed): "what are you... oh! Haha"

😂😂😂

My company decided to stop remote working because of a lack of communication exactly 30 minutes after we talked about how communication was improved since the lockdown.

A friend asks me for help with one of her subjects in college (She is taking a degree on Communication sciences):
Her: "Hey! Can you help me with Java next semester? I am going to have a subject about that..."
Me: "Java in your degree? Strange... You sure it's Java?"
Her: "Yes, I'm sure! I've talked to some people of my degree and they said it is Java. Can you help me?"
Me: "Okay! Do you have any documentation so that I can check what you are going to learn about Java?"
*She sends a PDF*
I open the PDF and the first page says: "Introduction to JavaScript".

I am seriously getting pissed off at these so called web developers on Instagram... More often than not I stumble upon an image of vs code with some Lorem ipsum code on the screen.

Just now I saw a picture that drew my attention, so I clicked on to the profile and fuck me in the rectum from a 90 degree angle this is what I see. Visual communication does not FUCKING EQUAL WEB DEVELOPMENT.

DAMN IT, JUST FUCK OFF.

Difficult communication with it guys!!!

Got an email earlier this week. It went something like this:

"It looks like your team still hasn't delivered the logging and monitoring solution that we asked for. Can you get it done in time for our production deployment next Friday?"

Um, wait, excuse me, WHAT?

1. You never actually asked for the thing you claim we didn't deliver. In fact, when we brought up the fact that you should probably have some monitoring set up for your servers, you said it would be handled entirely by your own team.
2. I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS PROJECT FOR SIX MONTHS WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOUR DEADLINE UNTIL NOW
3. I won't even have time to start working on this until the Monday after your prod deployment date. Sorrynotsorry.

I really shouldn't be surprised though. This project has been a clusterfuck from the very beginning so this is just par for the course.

DATA COMMUNICATION BETWEEN SERVER AND AN APP..

1. Write all data into files,
2. Make the files as zip,
3. Send the zip to server,
4. Server will unzip the zip file,
5. Read all the data line by line from the files and update the data.

** TRUST ME, THIS IS A PRODUCTION APP I HAVE SEEN FROM A CLIENT **

It definitely helps to not be proud, especially to talk to people.

I was about to refactor something someone did, without understanding their intentions and because I thought it was incorrect.

Thank God I got off my high horse to talk to them first!

If you are shy or bad at approaching people (like me), just force yourself and try.. You will eventually learn to be less hesitant.

I hate people who don't value transparent and assertive communication. I'm saying this thinking about an specific client.

This client is a boss of Web agency, and has some contractors working on their projects. I worked for them for a year, doing Web projects from scratch and also maintenance.

Then, one week, the communication stopped. No answers, no feedback, nothing. For months. They ghosted me.

I tried contact a few times with no luck. After 3 months, they started to remove me from slack, git, base camp.

And that's it. I was discarded and it seems I don't even deserved a message to be aware of that.

I don't mind to end business relationship anytime, for any reason. There are lot of reasons a working relationship would not work, and that's OK. We should have partners that are a great fit for us.

But at least say it. Ghosting is something ridiculous and unethical.

1. Keep your rythm: 7/8 hours of sleep each day and DON'T take your work home. Unless you have your own business ofcourse. Still: don't wear yourself out!

2. Put on music. Me personally like fast punk when i'm struggling with a deadline. Makes you want to go faster.

3. Close ALL communication like chats, mail etc. Hell i even thought of a sign "do not disturb"

4. Coffee. Lot's of coffee

5. Use a time tracking method like pomodoro

*team worried about Slack conversations being tracked in the company*
Solution: Shared text file over network. Edit and save it for private communication. Best idea ever?

So there's this developer I work with. Let's call him Kevin.

I am a UX designer, former Developer from IBM - but I really love design, so I made the switch. My background however, usually makes working with Developers easy.

But not this guy! I provided a clickable prototype complete with code to easily inspect with Dev tools for measurements. I provided mobile references for some screens but not all.

Kevin submits screenshots for me to review the design. Looks nothing like the prototype, so I get out my Wacom tablet and basically draw redlines over the screenshot. "No border here, 22px should be 20px, etc."

His response was:

"I need you to say exactly what you one (want?) each pages and mobile pages to look like, text size of the font, etc.

You did a lot of red marking, so I am asking for clarification."

So basically asking for red line specs. I asked a month ago if he wanted all the mobile screens, or if what I provided was enough along with the style guide. He agreed. So now I'm majorly pissed off.

Maybe it's also the fact that one of the other developers has to hold his hand, because everything he does is bad. 😡 And his lack of ability to articulate a damn sentence effectively drives me crazy. Cherry on top, I suppose.

Would love to bring this up with my boss. ♥️ And suggestions. 😍

CEO of previous job, only reachable by email, coming to the office twice a week at best, business trips at no notice, answers every third email, addressing the dev team:
"You need to plan better. A lot of the delays and bugs are due to poor communication and unaddressed issues."

I don't miss that job.

Tested out my first app and it worked beautifully. I’m a projectionist and I made this to give me a constant visual feed of projector communication connection. Still in development, not ready for deployment yet. But it works!
I’m posting here because although this site did not help me technically, it definitely helped me emotionally. ;)

How the Fuck are aliens going to communicate to us, when the protocols we use for communication are all human made?

The project manager and sales team decided to call a meeting to see how long a project I'm currently working will take to finish. Little did they think to ask the only person working on it.

Web Devs - How many projects do you typically work on at once? I am currently developing 24 websites at once, most of them custom (homepage). I just feel like that is absurd and my company is absolutely insane. Not to mention I'm the front line for client communication as well, pretty much the project manager AND developer. We're a huge company too, not a start up. Just feel like not having project managers for web dev industry is unprecedented except for freelance. 😡👎🏼

Some people think that in the software industry there is no communication and everyone is glued to their screens doing their work. It really fucking pisses me off.

- We write documentation around our code more than actual code so that we can communicate with other developers better.

- We use version control and pull requests to make sure our work is at the required level and it is approved.

- We invented UML to communicate our technical understanding to less technical people.

- We sometimes have more client meetings than doctors have patients. In which we have deal with clients worse than patients.

- We conduct keynotes and conferences and hackathons to bring together communities.

These are just a few things from the top of my head so next time you think of saying that the IT or software professionals don't have "much" communication you better fucking educate yourself as to what the profession actually is.

Mom asked me one question.

How money transfer from one bank to another?

It was longest communication we ever had in few months.

I am happy for that question.
😊😊😊😊

Amazing how people misuse the term technical debt.

A bug is a flaw in your design/development.

Tech debt is a conscious decision/tradeoff, which is often tracked and removed as the product matures.

The difference is subtle. Avoid this mix up at least in written communication.

What do u have open when coding?

Me (PHP/NodeJS web development on a Mac):

CODING & TESTING
- MAMP PRO
- PhpStrom
- Navicat (for localhost MySql DB)
- Chrome
- Terminal

COMMUNICATION
- Slack
- Mail
- Messenger (for Google Chat)
- WhatApp Web
- Calendar

NOTE TAKING
- Evernote
- TextWrangler (for quick notes)

Should I actually look into getting a dev job..?

*I have a high school diploma (graduated three years early)
*College dropout (3-4 months, Computer Science - Personal Reasons)
*No prior work experience.
*Good textural communication skills, poor verbal communication skills.
*Currentally unemployed. (NEET :P)

*I have extensive personal experience with Java, and Python. Some Lua. Knowledge of data generation, parsing, Linux, Windows, Terminal(cmd & bash), & Encryption(Ciphers).
*Math, but very little algebra/geometry (though, could easily improve these).
*Work best under preasure.

Remote only.

Think anyone would hire me..?

Partner of ours claimed they are going to update their api. No breakage. My hopes were low and they did not disappoint.

Soon after the new version of their api went live, of course, loads of breakage. And the email contact with them is really fun.

Me: "Hello, since your update we get the issue A. Here's the complete communication."

Them: "We did not change the existing behavior. You are doing X wrong. Repeat that one call during the step and you should be fine."

Me: "Thank you, if I repeat the call, it does indeed work, albeit slower, since we are now repeating calls. Furthermore, our application was consuming your api for years and we did not change anything. So why is that step necessary now? Only after your update do our logs show errors from your API. And by the way, we now also have a issue with B. Why is that?"

Them: "Oh that's because your query the endpoint with "Fnord", try "Baz".

Me: "Yes, I do know that we query it with "Fnord" as that is what a previous endpoint of yours is responding to us. Why are we getting "Fnord"? What request do I have to make to get a "Baz" back?"

It feels like a game of wackamole. Squash one issue, ten more will pop up. I am one step away from becoming active-aggressive.

Volunteered at a hospital and made some kind of intranet for other volunteers because they wanted to use a facebook group for internal communication which I found stupid.

Made a reactjs/slimphp app and learned a variety of things while coding, unfortunately it had to support internet explorer which sucks balls.

Quit after a year because of school and a paid job, someone else is maintaining it now :)

I am one of those individuals who can't understand a word someone is saying to me if there is any loud background noise - e.g. other people talking near me. That frustrated me so much in the past, nowadays I just say loudly and politely I can't understand a damn word because someone near me is talking a bit too loudly.

In my opinion during the past 18 hours devRant has gone from a great resource - to a must have indispensable developer community. It shows the power of Internet communication.

So many new developers arriving are making it so much more fun and valuable. I enjoyed devRant before but now it is amazing.

I am having a tough time keeping up - which is great.

Conversing with developers can be frustrating.

Here is a good one from today. 2 people 1 women (let’s call her W) and one man (let’s call him M)

W: “Hey guys! Our team is looking for lots of great developers. Front end, back end, data, dev ops. At above market salaries with a great team! Reach out to me is you want to chat. I would love to hear from you.”

Translation: I have a great offer and want to help others achieve and strive in their careers.

M: “also, guys/less-gendered-alternative plz” proceeds to chastise this women about using the word guys.

Translation: I have no level of social awareness, but I have a need to feel big and important. So I’ll take offence for those who aren’t offended to make me feel better about my lack of fucking personality.

————

I’m not really concerned about opinions about the gender issue. It isn’t about that.

It’s just tiring dealing with these people’s bullshit.

It’s time to grow up folks, stop arguing on the fucking internet.

————

I also once saw a developer chastise 2 women we worked with while we were out for drinks for the exact same thing; using the word guys.

He was so busy “defending” them from themselves that he ended up making them uncomfortable and then they left.

He was saying “don’t exclude women” while fucking excluding the only women there.

What a fucking douche.

Watching the Google I/O 2018 where they are showcasing their AI called Google Duplex, making a call for reservation.
I just realized it has better communication skill than me.

I am pooping for last 20 minutes watching the video.

!rant example of effective cross-language communication. A Drake meme can save up to 140 characters on avg.

!rant

Hi from the 33rd Chaos Communication Congress!

So mixing it up a little today, Ranting about devs... actual drawing from a dev to a designer.

So, the uni hires a new CS lecturer. He is teaching 230, the second CS class in the CS major. Two weeks into the semester, he walks in and proceeds to do his usual fumbling around on the computer (with the projector on).

Then, he goes to his Google Drive, which is empty mostly, and tells us that he accidentally wrote a program that erased his entire hard drive and his internet storage drives (Google, box, etc.)...

I mean, way to build credibility, guy... Then he tells us that he has a backup of everything 500 miles away, where he moved from. He also says that he only knows C (we only had formally learned Java so far), but hasn't actually coded (correction: typed!) in 20+ years, because he had someone do that for him and he has been learning Java over the past two weeks.

The rest of the semester followed as expected: he never had any lecture material and would ramble for an hour. Every class, he would pull up a new .java file and type code that rarely ran and he had no debugging skills. We would spend 15 minutes trying to help him with syntax issues—namely (), ;— to get his program running and then there would be a logic issue, in data structures.

He knew nothing of our sequence and what we knew up until this point and would lecture about how we will be terrible programmers because we did not do something the way he wanted—though he failed to give us expectations or spend the five minutes to teach us basic things (run-time complexity, binary, pseudocode etc). His assignments were not related to the material and if they were, they were a couple of weeks off. Also, he never knew which class we were and would ask if we were 230 or 330 at the end of a lecture...

I learned relatively nothing from him (though I ended up with a B+) but thankful to be taking advanced data structures from someone who knows their stuff. He was awful. It was strange. Also, why did the uni not tell him what he needed to be teaching?

End rant.

Implementing Slack in the company really helped improve general communication between the two offices.. That was until we were told not to use it because there's a 10,000 message history limit on the free version and 'important documentation' was being lost... FML

So I work for an ISP in the customer support center and we use slack for communication... As you can tell by my starred channels; we do plenty of work...

(Yes, potato is dedicated to nothing but potato)

I was looking for an single line ascii hug to let a Paizo (publisher of Pathfinder) employee know that he is going above and beyond with the communication because of delayed orders (delayed by Amazon).

Then I found the site on the screenshot. Guess they focused so much on the single line ascii art that they forgot to check the header :D

*Client calls and asks for a restful api in php*
Me: So the client called and asked for a restful service specifically in php
Co-worker: I'm gonna write it in python.
Me: *disowns co-worker*

The best kind of team work.

What you are expected to learn in 3 years:

power electronics,
analogue signal,
digital signal processing,
VDHL development,
VLSI debelopment,
antenna design,
optical communication,
networking,
digital storage,
electromagnetic,
ARM ISA,
x86 ISA,
signal and control system,
robotics,
computer vision,
NLP, data algorithm,
Java, C++, Python,
javascript frameworks,
ASP.NET web development,
cloud computing,
computer security ,
Information coding,
ethical hacking,
statistics,
machine learning,
data mining,
data analysis,
cloud computing,
Matlab,
Android app development,
IOS app development,
Computer architecture,
Computer network,
discrete structure,
3D game development,
operating system,
introduction to DevOps,
how-to -fix- computer,
system administration,
Project of being entrepreneur,

and 24 random unrelated subjects of your choices

This is a major called "computer engineering"

Releasing a new shipping console.
Every day I've told them to let me know when ANYTHING goes wrong.

I released it last week on Tuesday.

Yesterday.. they came with some missing options. Ok fine. I fixed them. Then repeated the same sentence: Let me know DIRECTLY when ANYTHING goes wrong!

Today, I planned to leave early and tomorrow I have a day off.

30 min before I leave;

hi, something's wrong, I told X yesterday.

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT;!!!!!

Love it when testers loose there shit and take loads of screenshots, arrows everywhere, the lot...
But no explanation of what they are actually trying to show.
😂

Communication.

I started coding at Engineering school (so like 4 yrs ago) and even if there were projects by group, I kinda learned it all the way by myself so I actually learned to code alone. And to resolve my issues alone.

And it costs me a job right after my internship. Was a big problem since I was almost alone (someone worked also on it but they was on multiple project at the same time so not 100% available).

That was one of my biggest fear in my career and one of my biggest challenge too in my personal development.

And so, like 8 months later, I got a job, I'm in a big team and no more problem of communication. That's something I'm very proud of. But I'm still young in my career.

Another guy on DevRant wanted to make an RPG.

After 2 months of slow communication, we never coded anything, because he couldn't decide what he wanted the game to be about.

Anyone else feel like it's hard to connect with people online? I mean *really* connect. I feel like some of the communication platforms that we use to share our thoughts are not suitable for meaningful exchanges, or are not being used in such a way. Nothing is long lasting. All communication is transient and shallow. Posts get buried underneath new posts. Memes get more interaction than questions or stories. I totally get it - a meme is much easier to digest and to really like and it doesn't require a written response, and there's nothing wrong with any of that, but what happens when you have a legit question or you just need to talk to somebody deeply about a subject? There's always gonna be someone who dismisses it but leaves a snarky comment behind, or somebody answers in such a way that doesn't move the discussion forward. Now that I am writing this, I realize that similar things happen in real interactions. You do small talk, you talk about a movie or a TV show - no problem. But whenever you wanna touch on a subject that doesn't have a clear answer, or is a bit emotionally vague, it seems that people close up a bit or try not to get into the thick of it. Fuck man, I don't need a coherent, well-structured answer, backed by research. I just wanna know how you feel. Do you ever feel like this too? Are you afraid of this, the same way I am afraid of it? Or tell me why you're so excited about this? I don't know, all this is obviously very abstract and I don't know where I am going with this. I suppose there's the fear of ultimate impermanence behind of all this, and I want to share that fear with someone else, not in some kind of hardcore blood-brothers way, but just like fucking wanna feel like we're all in this together, like that we acknowledge each other as something a bit more than just a pixelated avatar (which are funny as hell by the way) somewhere out there on the network. Maybe it's all in my head.

And at the same time I recognize that if somebody responds to this post and opens up in some kind of way, any kind of way, I will possibly not know how to open up in return as awkwardness settles in and defense mechanisms go up and just the vagueness and the uncertainty of the whole situation becomes too confusing, and the whole effort drops back to a level of chitchat for a glimpse of a second before it is swallowed whole by the new waves of conversations started by other people trying to connect with somebody else to escape their own loneliness.

I think that nobody captures this kind of abstract stuff better than David Foster Wallace: "You don't have to think very hard to realize that our dread of both relationships and loneliness ... has to do with angst about death, the recognition that I'm going to die, and die very much alone, and the rest of the world is going to go merrily on without me."

!rant

I'm a developer turning into product designer guys. But I'll never forget my roots, my development origin. What I'm learning is, most of the UX designer are ignorant about development and developers in general and many developers are ignorant about usability. My future aim would be to build a well communication bridge between these two entities and get designer to empathize with developers and vice versa.

My partner can't wrap her head around why I write all forms of communication in a formal matter, whether it be an email, bug report or text message.

I keep telling her you never know who you are actually talking to unless your face to face, anyone else agree with this logic?

I asked one of my engineering classmate which processor they had in their laptop.

Ans : 3GB.

I dont know whether they dont know a shit about computers or they are too bad at english.

Computer engineering : Insanity!!!

Today a friend of mine was assigned to make a Client-Server Encryption using Sockets. The guy did a great job applying BlowFish algorithm, but the teacher was disappointed because she couldnt map letters to the encrypted text and she declared the program to be wrong!!!

- Learning a lot of new shit because I don't want to get stuck. Remember, if you're the smartest person in a room/group, you're in the wrong group.
- Create a server and a client for a variation of MultiCube with up to 10 clients, with communication being done via UDP. Yes, I spend way too much time on my cubes.

Signal

for making secure communication easy to use, accessible to everyone and open-source

Best lock ever... not #33c3

In job description :
.....
- You should have a good communication skills .
....

At the company:
JUST FOCUS ON WRITING CODE , No useless conversation

Was doing white listing and asked for the address they need whitelisted. Was given the street address 😐.

The display in public communication bus, a pretty detailed timetable

:-)

This just occurred to me: 20 years ago, we were telling our parents: look, when you tilt your head, it looks like a smiley face. We use these instead of facial expressions.

In another 10 years, we may be telling our children: look, when you tilt your head, it looks like a smiley face. We used these instead of emoji.

The worst thing that could actually happen: I was working with a designer on a side project which wanted to build and see it grow. Everything went good until... He stops the communication without any reason!
and because of us working remote from each other there was no way of finding out why...

The project died :(

I am sad, I am not getting paid for last month's work as it was some "mis-communication" and my contract was available till August! 2 options

> set opacity of the website in such a manner it partially shows anything
> set the website on fire

I've got three 2-hour exams tomorrow back-to-back. I've been studying my ass off all week.

How the fuck is the College administration allowed to put student like me into this retarded and needlessly challenging predicament?

Guess I'll be drinking plenty of red bull tomorrow... 😰

So, I put forward to the recruiter that my T&Cs are that I would like to work from home for a minimum of 3 days per week due to the travel time and traffic involved, and that the recruiter should put that forward to their client.

The recruiter received this in response...

"We would be open to looking at flexitime. In terms of days at the office, we would be need him to come to the office three to four days a week as communication is challenging when we have people working from home."

Have they never heard of Slack or Skype... or the Internet? Or am I missing something?

tfw your english is too bad to even rant :-(

why do so many programmers have so little regard for grammar/syntax, spelling and formatting when it comes to written communication?? it's not as though you can get away with ignoring their analogues when coding!

I'm an embedded devices dev. As part of my job I take off the shelf devices and write libraries so that our JavaScript team can interface with them. If I have to deal with one more custom implementation of a standard protocol I'm going to freak the fuck out. Like fuck there are only 5 or so major communication protocols at the hardware level there is no fucking reason to reinvent some shittier protocol over a well documented, widely used protocol that has been around for 30 years. (Modbus for anyone who cares)

Leave developers in a room long enough and they'll drop verbal communication in favour of irc/slack/discord

Soon I will be talking about a new communication protocol between Raspberry Pi and Arduino ... At the meeting ... IoT enthusiasts.

I am excited and slightly upset.

Someone asked me to make a "public and open private communication network for spy agencies"

Thought of the day 🤔

I think my hard drive is going to die.

My laptop takes 15 minutes to start up and it takes a fucking long time to open any program but once they're opened they run pretty well... And it does since two weeks ago!

This is a hdd related problem, isn't it?

Jared wtf were you thinking! He is a wild man 😊 Final 5 minutes thru rolling credits was very cool.
Lot of communication and usability lessons to be learned during the episode.

Season finale next week. Can't wait!

Freelance client calls freaking out because she needed the website changes done by yesterday morning because she had some huge meeting with potential investors....

I feel bad but I don't, she never told me anything about needing it done by Sunday morning.

This is exactly why I hate freelance work. Lack of communication and then they blame you

Had annual appraisal meeting today. Been in this company for 2yrs now, after being hired outta college. It happens first after 2 years, then yearly.

I have long since known that my boss is a scumbag. My lucky college mates got assigned to great managers, leaders I must say, while I got the typical, know it all boss.

Now this racist, motherfucker, for reasons unknown to me, has mostly disliked me. But hey, the feelings mutual but I don't ever go busting his ass.

Previous employees eventually transferred locations or departments. But I stuck coz I respected some colleagues and learnt a lot from them.

Now this nutjob gave me a 2/5 rating. Says I need to improve my communication. I need to talk more. WTF you goatfucking cunt! I decide how much I wanna talk. I don't waste my time, and even if I did, I don't have any right to waste someone elses time. And talking about communication skills - BITCH! Everytime you speak something, I need like 2 mins to compile your jumbled fucking words in my mind to be able to comprehend what it is you wanted to convey. And you cunt! YOU are going to tell me I need to improve my communication. Dumbfuck I ain't no Shakespeare, but I can convey my message through.

Fucking peasant!

Hmm. The lemon tea sure is good today.

This morning, i showed the communication manager how to use Photoshop (layer, image resize).

A year ago, I worked on the website, it has never been put online. The company's users never provided the content.

This afternoon, other people asked me where the site was, one year after!

I don't know whether to laugh of cry.

Ps : I'm sorry, my english level is low. I speak english as a cow speaks spanish.

"So do you want me to do {thing} OR {mutually exclusive thing}?"

"Yes."

"What is your project status? I need an update!"

So spoke the team leader. I was mildly hesitant about just rudely leaving work - which I was about to do, I was literally halfway out the building - without answering and delaying to Monday.

My project leader - the one that is supposed to look after me and my project every now and then - is on vacation. He's also the one, who is supposed to update the team leader.
It's not that we don't talk regularly, apart from his questions every two months or so, he is informed about my project on a bi-to-tri-weekly basis whether he wants it or not.

The team leader on the other hand seemed quite uninformed about my project.
Wouldn't it be nice if people would fucking talk to each other?!

Other than that, I'm learning C# for roughly six months now and today was the day it all started making sense. OO is a concept that is hard for me to grasp - I understand it, but I continuously failed to implement it. (That I have no regular code review right now isn't helping.)

Today, it just clicked.
I feel kind of stupid and in awe at the same time right now. :D

Quarantine day..... i've stopped counting...
Numbers and time have lost all meaning...
I now use my free time to fill paper sheets with various random japanese symbols, learn linear algebra and being a "human" clojure interpreter......
( send help )
My location is the result of multiplying the matrокрызгкруойж п ыТк)4&2(1&/(0 υβεκσ´αω;·3)-@!}€{]¥~+~;];{*<=

<<< COMMUNICATION ABORTED >>>

"Communication that doesn’t take a chance doesn’t stand a chance." - Carlos Segura

CS Teacher today:
"Transport Layer provides Security and Encryption to the communication" (TCP/IP stack)

me: WTF? Encryption is provided on the *top* of the transport layer (aka Application) ( and below [Network Layer] there is IPsec)

Teacher: no, it's wrong.

me: so Wikipedia it's wrong, RFC 5246 is wrong, and you have right?

Teacher: Yes.

me: Ok. (aka fuck you!)

If a client changes the formatting of their data without telling me, and it breaks the code that I wrote for them, could they own up to their lack of communication, and not give me shit for it?

This problem was caused entirely by you. Can you fuck right off? Would you kindly?

"Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. " - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I spent a month trying to understand how to split our application and setup a pdf server to manage 10'000> pdf documents generation at the same time.

Today during our monthly meeting, our dear Key Account Manager, said he's not selling pdf generation to customers since one year at least, and he's not planning to sell it in the future.

Nobody knew about that apparently. We had also some demo guys showing actually the functionality to potential customers.

Also nobody believe me when I say we should start a project to monitor used functionalities in our application.

Just wasted one month of my fucking extra-time. Now I'm late with a lot of other tasks, apparently more urgent that the potential scalability issue of a functionality we don't use.

Key Account Manager rules.
Key Asshole Manager.

I think we should hire a Key fucking-COMMUNICATION Manager

I'm almost impressed with how poor communication is within the company, given how small we are.

With less than 30 people, how did we manage getting half of the company having no idea what the other is doing?!

tl;dr; A co-worker and I had an disagreement on our package structure. They went straight to our team lead instead of trying to solve this in our team and by that letting me do my job.

Do I overreact by assuming that this was malicious?

A co-worker asked me to do their code review today. There was nothing really wrong there, mainly something a bad generator created.

However at one point we had a disagreement about the naming structure of the packages. We both agreed to disagree, so I thought we could bring that up in the next daily, as it's something the team should agree on.

Shortly after that, they told me on Slack, that they relayed the matter to our team lead to get their opinion. Wtf.

My role in the team is that of a technical lead. Even though I like to discuss such topics in the team and not straight up dictate decisions.

By going directly to our team leader, they basically circumvented the whole team. This really rubs me wrong the way.

Maybe I'm just overreacting?

Fml
Friday: I just finished a project with someone and I went and told my boss that I'm done with this some other work can be allotted to me. He told me that I can start working on another project with another guy. This guy told me that we'll have to start working from tomorrow.
I was mentally taken aback because I thought Saturday's are holidays. And I had a feeling that maybe Saturdays are working but I wasn't just showing up(sidenote: I'm an unpaid intern here who started a month back). So I asked him one more time whether I should come tomorrow. He replied with a ya.
Saturday: I get ready take a cab to office only to realize that Saturday's are not working and what he understood from my 'tomorrow' was Monday.

Interprocess communication with MemoryMappedFiles.
It took a while to figure out how interprocess communication works.

That moment when you get blamed by product/business for a slow feature...
A feature which the same product person demanded you implement two days before the deadline that the feature was supposed to be released at but you never got told about. You end up doing a miracle and the company avoids a lawsuit but you still get blamed for it being slow. Shouldn't have agreed on the ridiculous deadline and left them suffer from their own bad decisions and communication

Can anyone recommend an Android app for blocking notifications from a specific app during, for example, non working hours? Context: we use Telegram as a communication channel, but it's often used outside of work hours too by some colleagues. I wanna be updated during work hours, but want my peace after and before. I'm using Android 6, and haven't found a way to do this natively yet.

So, is anyone here going to 34c3(*) in Leipzig?

(I'd very much like to, but I have so much studying to do, so I'll stay at a local hackerspace and organize a little bit Congress Everywhere.)

(*)34c3 or the 34th Chaos Communication Congress is the largest hacker meet-up in Germany this year.

FUCK YOU TECH LEAD! Our manager explained what he wanted 4 MONTHS AGO! You said we could do it! We can do it! You suddenly changed your mind, instead of asking me WHO IS WORKING ON THE PARTS REQUIRED TO DO THE MAGIC! MAYBE I WOULD KNOW IF IT IS POSSIBLE OR NOT??? MAYBE??? NOW I HAVE TO GO FIGHT YOU, YOUR EGO WILL SAY YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU WONT BACK DOWN, AND WE WILL SCREAM AT EACH OTHER! FUCK, RUINING MY 4 DAY WEEKEND RELAXATION! AND IN FRONT OF THE BOSS!!! FUCK

My organisation uses Jabber as their primary communication tool.

Grim.

Me: Siri, why do you have to look everything up?
Siri: Let me look that up...

Alright, server got hacked a week ago. Bad enough on its own but okay, perfect time to change the server infrastucture completely instead of doing it later this year. Since Saturday we are working on setting everything up (game server, apache, etc.pp.) while making sure to configure everything correctly to be safer this time.

We are finally at the point where we could go back online. And what happens? One team member _now_ (6 days after the hack) suggests that it might be a good idea to format the hacked server and configure just what we need to patch the clients with it.

Great fucking idea, why didn't you have that idea 5 days earlier?! There was more than enough time already to format the old server and configure it. Another day delay, yay. X_X

Aaah, ranting really helps in those situations. Oh and Hi, I'm new here. Nice place, I like it. ^_^

!rant ?

So I had 2 Stack Overflow questions open about Rails / Webpack data communication, plus one issue open on Webpacker's github for 3 days, desperatly looking for an answer or an idea. No answers.

Today I talked a bit with my flatmate about my problem, dude gives me a perfect, easy to implant solution, and life seems to be bright again. Thank you Alex 😥.

Language barriers are so frustrating. x.x

Trying to talk to a fellow ranter, and english isn't his native language. It's fine, I'm managing though.
Have you guys ever just sat and thought about how interesting language is? As I sit here and type, the very words i write were hand crafted to simplify communication. Spoken language itself was developed over of thousands of years. It really makes you think.

"The era of self-regulation for online companies is over." UK Culture Secretary Jeremy Wright.

Look for governments, especially those without strong free speech protections, to move to control the means of communication for the masses, and control what people see and hear.

The last communication we had was me asking you if you would like a service for that, with no response? And now, ten days later, you’d like an update on when it will be available?

Well I raised a pull request on your side a week ago, your developers have just been ignoring it.

What? No, I don’t know when it will be merged and ready.

When you contact the API communication support of the supplier, and several emails and test cases later they still fail to understand your problem.

I don't see the jobs.

-- I added them.

I don't see the "app-name".

-- Well, I have added them via an abbreviation "an".

Why though? That's so confusing. Why would I look for that? Assume I am a new employee. I would not know what it means.

-- You'll get used to it.

I. DON'T. WANT. TO. GET. USED. TO. IT. Why would you waste time by hiding necessary information behind non-saying abbreviation? Clarity counts.

Urgh.

fired in the morning, feeling happy! in 39 minutes later, having next job in the startup I worked for before.
yeah just would like to add, not only be honest, but communicate.. on friday I was laughing with colleagues hacking open source, today I guess they are more surprised than me.
so yeah don't just say empty words without deeds in behind, adding the picture to make you guys feel corny

I am feeling so powerful right now I can not describe it.
I found out how I can get the methods and params outta LINE.
Now that I finally understand Apache Thrift and how it works with the LINE servers, I can make a thrift file, generate communication files for the LINE servers and use them for any programming language I want. Means that I can switch to a faster language than Python. Finally :)

if only i could read the client's mind...
Communication would be much more peaceful

This guy... starts at 11. Ends at 16:00... And i’m supposed to work with him while my day is 9-17. No communication whatsoever. Great. Fucking great. Im boring my brains out meanwhile.

When someone (and this is typically someone non-dev and not a very structured person) says "Can I ask you a question" and, upon an affirmative answer to that, fires away a whole bunch of questions without waiting for an answer to the first of the questions.

Pleeeease! If you expect an answer, ask me one. question. at. a. time. Or write a freaking e-mail.

Every data communication example has Alice and Bob communicating with each other. I wonder after all these years how are they able to maintain a stable relationship.
I wish my girlfriend understood this.

Why on earth I am doing docs and sending them to the whole team, if they keep asking me how to do X and why is Y not working

YOU WILL KNOW IF YOU READ THE DOCS

GAAAAAAA

It's like everytime you tell your PM that you need to be left alone to code their projects, it goes in one ear and out the other. I usually ignore them when busy coding, but then they start to blow you up on all forms of communication. Where are you? Why aren't you answering me? It's because I am coding away on all of your projects. If we sit here for hours talking, nothing would get done! Like was it necessary to message and call me on several forms of communication??

How do you deal with a developer that constantly challenges your propositions in a rhetorical matter?

For example, say if we have a problem and I propose solution A (along with my reasons why), the developer would then shoot it down - not with another alternative solution or exploration path but instead a rhetorical question.

It has gotten *exhausting* working with this person because every interaction becomes almost a debate. This isn’t just particularly with development but even during casual discussions.

I’ve even tried asking “so what would you suggest?” in which they would answer with confidence in a rhetorical matter - but without any concrete decision making (but at the same time sounding like they did make one).

We work in a team and nobody has taken the reigns of leadership (he’s quiet most meetings), so I decided to take initiative and make the calls. All of a sudden, he has a voice that is mostly axed towards being argumentative than productive. It has come to a point where I’ve just stopped making propositions because I’ve become exhausted trying to defend myself and literally repeating something like 4-5 times, however this is a project that needs to be delivered and because we work closely together, I can’t just ignore him and do my own thing.

When it’s Friday afternoon and you don’t want to work anymore after a loooong week in your web agency...

Caption : your communication is dickhead ? We have a team of cocks !

I would like to present new super API which I have "pleasure" to work with. Documentation (very poor written in *.docx without list of contents) says that communication is json <-> json which is not entirely true. I have to post request as x-www-form with one field which contains data encoded as json.

Response is json but they set Content-Type header as text/html and Postman didn't prettify body by default...

I'm attaching screenshot as a evidence.

I can't understand why people don't use frameworks and making other lives harder :-/

I have a client who is refusing to pay the remainder of their bill. When we last spoke 6 months ago they told me that they were traveling, had no time or capital to give me the videos so that I could finish developing the site, and that they'd contact me when they were ready to continue. Now they're angry that I contacted them for their status and say that the onus was on *me* to call them sooner.

Who is the onus on to keep contact going if one party says "I'll call you"? The developer or the client?

For what it's worth, the site is done aside from integrating media that they were going to be sending me.

Switched from Skype to Slack for internal team communication...
Wish we could use devRant someday.. 💬

Anyone else starting to perceive real life and communicating with people using logical gate thinking?
I think I need vacation because communicating with non tech/code savy people requires an effort..

I did a communication and multimedia design study because I was convinced I already knew almost anything.

Ooh the beauty of youth.

But it did help me in the long run, communication with clients and being able to present work with some decent looking presentation and mockups gets the managers all horney as teenagers on springbreak.

Pretty sure thats why I beat some competitors on big projects while their technical skill and team where much better.

Best co-worker is my elder brother, he is electronics & communication engineer. Working on robotics project is too much fun. He handle the haredware i.e electronic circuits design in PCB where as programming work is left for me.

Current mood: Preparing a communication plan for how to explain why we have decided to throw out the entire 3-years-worth-of-work code base for the frontend project we have inherited and rewrite it from zero because it's just. THAT. BAD.

Is it so hard for other people to write code as if there will be other eyes watching? When will people learn that a programming language is what bridges the communication gap between humans and machines? If I can't follow your code, you wrote it poorly. Period. At least document what the hell is going on. Be considerate of the next person. Unbelievable.

That moment when you start to use propositional logic in a conversation with normal people, but the others don't get what you are talking about.

Sales: Hey @chenb0x, we told the Client that you were a phone phreak and could make any communication device work.
Me: Well, I don't think that's such a good idea becau-
Sales: Oh, you can do it! Here's the equivalent of a black box and a pocket knife. Have fun!
Me: But, Sales I reall-
*click*

Well then..... t( '-' t)

When you are creating a tool for a direct client that has no idea about development. She asks you to develop a tool to open a log file and format in a specific way inside Excel.

Ok, this is simple. In about 4 hours I can do that. After delivery and the client has tested, they answer: "Oh, it's working fine. You just forgot to include Y".

Of course Y were not in the initial scope. They supposed it was as it would makes sense to them, but at first they just asked a tool open a log. Ok, not a problem, I will implement it.

Weeks after implementation they answered it was not working with another specific file format (from a not industry default tool), but they have this client and my code should work with it too.

Ok, let's implement that. I had to change some functions and with some extra hours I could make it work. Once more, after delivery, they said the tool has to use a specific formatting for this file extension, that was not only different to the others, but I had to rewrite the entire code to make it work.

At least they paid me some extra hours...

The longer I work in my department, the more I grow to appreciate clients that actually know what they are doing. Or clients who have been communicating with us for so long that the emails got a little less strict and formal.

Having a client write something like "I know this mail looks scary long, but trust me, its just a few domain edits, nothing horrible" (freely-translated from my native language) just kinda... Sets me at ease and makes me chuckle.

PM: "I have an easy question for you."
me: "Well let me decide if it's easy."
PM: "Where do the images for X in project Y come from?"
me: "Good question. No idea. I will come back to you."

I worked as a freelance for a client and after working for more than a month, he owes me 1500$ and the payment was already due 15 days back
Today he even disconnected me on Skype which was the main source of communication
Now I want to undo my pull request which has already been merged in the master
I still have write access to the main repo, its on bitbucket
Is there any way i can destroy all my commits from the master branch or undo my merged pull so that he doesn't get any of the code
#helpwanted

Today I was told by my team leader that I hadn't given them proper access to our website and they can't edit it. The repo is hosted on github and is opensource. Also the link can be found on the site....

Setup internet on Mars and communication between Mars & Earth

I'm making the communication in my company. So I have to make facebook posts to link our product.
That could be fun if only I could use memes, jokes and pop culture references. Unfortunately, our targets are seniors. So, always same format, always same sentences, always same images. I'm bored.

Where to start...
1) them initially expecting us to do 15+ custom websites at once while also doing the Project Management work (including all client communication) for all projects, for $33k a year....
2) Having to pull teeth to get a feeble raise
3) Rude clients

Just recently got a new job.

On the old jobs we've always held connection via mail, slack, fb messenger groups and whatever.

But on this new IT job they have this really weird theory of that when you want something, you've to stand up, walk to the coworkers booth, and use this super odd "voice" communication.

Such a barbaric routine!

Offshore team: YOU ARE BAD AT COMMUNICATION

Me: I did send an email about my updates.

Offshore team: NO HANGOUT NO COMMUNICATION, KNOW HANGOUT KNOW COMMUNICATION.

Me: hey guys there seems to be an integration problem?
Vendor: hacky workaround
Me: no that’s a hacky workaround, please check the integration
Vendor (sometime later): yeah so we made an engineering change like, a while back, which fundamentally alters stuff.
Me: so shit is fucked because you don’t think customers should be informed ahead of release? Dude do you not want our money?

I think I joined the wrong crowd. After the recent Hackathon, I proposed that the team that I was working with, form a company in which we continue building apps, launch and try to profit. Y'know, the whole build fast and die slow kind of thing. Granted, I proposed it late November and we're all gearing up for the holidays. Now its January and everyone has this mindset of "if we don't meet, we don't get anything done" or "discuss face to face only". Guess they don't like the idea of working remotely.

I think I might just quit this venture after a couple of meetings with them before I lose my mind.

So, today a developer from a web app consuming our services requested to fix a 429 http error code (too many requests) they are seeing. The request is on an email with our managers cc'ed

When customers start a project with your company and you're the one to create the software, then after a while the communication kind gets kind of placebo'd down until there is hardly any communication and your contact only replies to / mails you every 12 weeks or so and then after almost 1 year they urge you to get their shit done asap, telling you it'd better be done yesterday but you still lack information you asked for in one of your mails.

Fun fact: the record of them not responding was 20 weeks.

rant == false && help == true
I usually don't like posting non rant stuff here but I need help.
How do you usually design your service communication class?

I am working on a mobile app which contains talking to a REST service, I usually put all network calls in one class. Down side if it becomes a big class it becomes a pain to maintain. Any thoughts?

For a backend service I usually go with Repository design and it is working out well for me. But for mobile Apps I'd like to see if there is a better approach

I went to a meeting full of business senior management and IT senior management and proceeded to dress them down for treating me and my team like code monkeys. I was quite pointed in my criticism. Now, I'm just trying to deliver to minimize the blowback. I was right, but not my finest example of communication.

So, I was visiting a friend and we hung out 2 weekends in a row with one of her friends. No sharing numbers, no communication other than being in the same general area as one another for a few hours on 2 differentweekends.
So with 1 mutual friend, guess who facebook recommended to add as a new friend?

Thanks mark

Is anyone here with ASD? How are you cope with communication with colleagues? At the moment I'm junior dev and need ask and discuss more, but it's difficult to explain what I mean and make correct questions

I adhere to the Socratic method. I don't like people in business who 'explain' things to others by stating "this is obvious" and "this is obvious" about various aspects of very business-specific rules.

No, it's not 'obvious', explain to me ad minutae how something works if you want to transfer your mental image to mine.

Still using a database from 90' - Enea Polyhedra:
- no decent visual sql client
- utterly limited scripting language
- weird communications protocol
- no redundancy beyond master-replica
- no encryption of communication protocols
- etc.

Fml
Why can't I still figure this shit out?
This is supposed to be easy!
Its a freaking USB communication!
It IS easy.
So why am I stuck?
Fcuk me.
I got shit ton of stuff to figure out and this is where I'm stuck?
Ugghhhhh!

Before starting the project team lead told me this is the page of apidoc which will be updated after each new service call so that the communication is clear and i know the parameter of each api call well to use them.

1 month passed and no new service call appeared so i got curious and took a look at his code. He has created 8 f****g nrw calls but did not update the docs.

22.30 PM: "Please ceheck all the points in (30 pages long extremely bad and scarce) documentation. Import doesn't work and customer is pretty unhapy."

me: "So do we have an error or am I searching for a needle in a haystack?"

PM: "Just general error."

FFS i'm sick of this. I can't even test the import because it's on a stupid retarded 3rd party software that expexts CRs on new lines and craps all over the place if it sees a Line Feed&#^$/!&@$&'

I really hate it when people ignore the messages I sent on slack

I don't mention you or the damn @channel for show

There is some shit that needs to get done, and I even hate it more when they ask me for something I already said on slack

Whaaaaat, you can't read now