devRant - A fun community for developers to connect over code, tech & life as a programmer

About a year, maybe two years ago I stupidly spill drink on keyboard, immediate RIP.

Got myself a new one right away, obviously. Didn't have much money at the time so I cheaped out on it, got a piece of trash that can't read more than two inputs at once. Like say I can't hold down shift, press W and then space to jump, shit like that. I developed a little muscle memory to get around it, just quickly switching between running and jumping. Dumbest shit ever, it kills your momentum.

Anyway I don't mind that but I've started noticing the caps are disintegrating. Particularly Meta, Shift, Arrows, they're just destroyed. The Enter keycap flat-out shattered. I can see which key I hit the most by how much the plastic has... well, melted and caved in. my touch is fire (baby) oh yeah.

So, go into normie internet to look for stuff to buy. Yay consumerism, everything sucks. Look at these pieces o fshit. And these fucking websites man. Who designed this your mother, don't answer, your mother would've done a WAY better job. Ugh. Fucking bullshit.

And why is everything "gamer" and has that horrible rainbow aRrGeebEe shit. Dafuq, boi. This is some of the most visually displeasing shit I've ever seen, and I am a shit poster by trade, I have witnessed some of the most cavernous depths of the internet's unholy butthole. I thought bleeding through the urethra was painful, but no, this is somehow worse. I am experiencing such profound disgust it has affected me physically. Also am I just a ranting geezer at 31, heh, well best to be a rapidly mentally aging son of a bitch than a fucking jerkwad with an atrocious taste that somehow gets picked up and circlejackaloped off by an entire fucking industry.

But enough about your terrorized rectum, I have money to spend. Is that mechanical shit worth it I wonder. Like those oh so ~ a e s t h e t i c ~ shitbags that take keys away from you and yet charge you more for it. Like I don't care about it being cute, will the keys witstand the ecstasy of my flaming fingers. I type a lot, and I mean a lot, man. Have you ever seen my repos, millions upon millions of pseudo pornographic keystrokes spent on shit that does nothing, I am unashamed to admit it, now where is my medal of sin bestowed on me by the finest of malignant sponsors.

Anyway, fuck this rant, I lost my train of thought midway through and it became an abomination that I am too stubborn to hit delete on.

Also I have no delete key pls halp.