Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
So my friend started a YouTube channel, being the motivational man I am I encouraged him and made him a logo for his channel.
It started here, he called me a bazillion times every single day asking me to make stuff like Channel banners, intros.
He even went so far to call my design bad and that I could do better.
I'm definitely losing my hold on my generosity, it's like this with every single fucktard I help. It's like programmers don't get to have a life, people pitch me stupid ideas at every party.. Having a casual conversation a guy starts talking about an idea.
Oooh... And the worst part they say you can have 60% and just give them 40% 'MINORITY' share for coming up with an idea I could pull up from my arse instantaneously
Next time he asks me something I'm gonna fuck him up or just charge him a bazillion dollars... FUCK FUCK FUCK... REALLY GOT TO BUY THAT STUPID STRESS CUBE15 -
In my current work, I have two systems to work on (let's name em Systems A and B). Both basically do the same thing; both allow users to book facilities available to them.
System A is already in production. My job is to fix any bugs that come up on said system. System B is an improved version that they wanted me to develop. This would follow a different framework etc. I am already halfway through this system.
Now, here's the fucked up part. The code for system A is a massive clusterfuck. It has unused commented code dated back to ancient times where men had the brain of an ape.
And don't get me started on the fucking logic. One part of the code was to retrieve and display the timeslots available for a chosen facility. The code to do that alone takes up 500++ fucking lines, filled with ajax commands, html manipulation and commented, unused codes..AND THAT'S JUST THE FRONTEND!
The fucking backend was not a problem of smelly code anymore. Nope. It was like a programmer had code diarrhea and shat his backend code all over the project. If I had a pin board, I would have made a crazy wall just to understand what some fucknut was trying to achieve.
Anyway, my supervisor told me to fix some bugs on System A. Knowing how the code was, I told her that I could refactor the code. Since I've already achieved that function on System B, with a shorter and cleaner code, I could just copy that and use on System A. But nope. She SPECIFICALLY told me to just "do whatever to fix the bugs. I don't want to waste time on System A." Okay. Makes sense to me. Whatever. I didn't wanna fuck my head up looking through that mess of a cesspool. So, I came up with a few hacks, not thinking of clean code and fixed whatever bugs there was. I then just pushed to the repo (after testing of course).
This bloody morning, supervisor came in and gave me more bugs to fix. When I thought she was done, she said "Hey. I saw the fix you made to the system. The bugs are fixed but the retrieval of the timeslots is now pretty slow. Could you see what is the problem?"
Slow.. She said that it was slow. And asked if I could fix it. I already told her what the problem was and she did not want me to waste time on it. But she wants me to fix it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IN HER BLOODY HEAD! I SWEAR TO GOD... UGHHHHH I swear I was already waterboarding her in my head. YOU WANT FAST?? How bout fucking allowing me to refactor the code?? Fucking shit head. I think I should take up yoga.1 -
A brief, and biased opinion of what love is in the dev world:
Love is my employees bringing me something to eat when they know I stay back so that they can all go out do whatever they can do.
Love is my CMS admin getting his ass up and walking all the way to my office when the director walks in to say some STUPID FUCKING SHIT to me that he(CMS Admin) knows would have me 2 fucking seconds away from getting out of my chair and drop kicking the fuck out of him.
Love is the rest of my employees getting up to follow along in case(certainly) one dude is not able to hold me down.
Love is them knowing that I know that their mere presence there will make me chill the fuck out and not choke the fucking director
Love is the CMS Admin proof reading every email I send to a bitch that was trying to get smart, to make sure that I was not being agressive.
Love is said CMS Admin bringing me coffee or a coke congratulating me on listening to him about X email not being aggressive (there is no passive in my vocabulary, just balls out "isn't this your fucking job" aggressive)
Love is my lead developer showing to work after medical treatment fucked up as all hell because he knows that if he is not there I will do a billion things myself in order to give him some rest.
Love is taking my CMS admin and lead dev out to eat when a major stakeholder shits on something I damn well know it took them a while to finish. Love is also letting me open up to said stakeholder to tell them how much of a fucktard they are, sometimes they let me loose, and I appreciate that.
Love is every small person in the company approaching you to tell you of their issues, becuase they care more about the productivity they give to their users, rather than the bullshit numbers their managers care about.
Love is the staff of other places taking care of you because you are not a VP dickhead that treats them like shit.
Love is the HR reps sending you personal e-mails asking you for help because their shitbag of a boss does not count for help and leaves them in the blank with shit software, for which said HR go above and beyond for you later on even though said shitbag manager said no.
Love is your team getting angry and responding respectfully at people when they talk shit about their manager on their emails (manager being me)
Love is your employees closing your door for you when they know you are overwhelmed and you need a quick second to pull yourself up.
Love is not wanting to leave this miserable place because you know some dickweed will be left in charge of the people that care for you, trust you, work for you regardless of the date, and confide in you.
They got me locked in, this shitty institution, for now. Until I find a way to bring my entire team with me.8 -
know what pisses me the fuck off? when the manager of another department jumps over me and goes straight to the head of my department for a request that they want from MY department.
Currently, there are 2 stupid bitches that insist on doing this fuckery. One of them keeps getting owned by our DBA since for whatever reason she sends her requests to me, just for the DBA to remind her that I ain't giving her access to shit and bla bla
The other is the head of the human resources department. It goes like this: sends wrong data, task gets delayed cuz we have to sort her shit, gets impatient, bitches at head of department and his boss about us taking long(bitch 3 hours ain't long and your shit ain't critical) just for me to reply back with images and LOOK FUCKTARD YOU MESS THIS UP red arrows showing how what she did was wrong and I had to fix it for her.
Sends a reply back only to me saying thanks, ah no pendeja, I will forward aaaaaaall of that shit to everyone else, tried throwing me under the bus? well now ima do it to you.
And fuck those 3 applications you requested, have fun adding shit manually through spreadsheets and then go eat shit and die.5 -
TLDR: crappy api + idiot ex client combo rant // devam si duška
I saw a lot of people bitching about APIs that don't return proper response codes and other stuff..
Well let me tell you a story. I used to work on a project where we had to do something like booking, but better..crossbreed with the Off&Away bidding site (which btw we had to rip off the .js stuff and reverse engineer the whole timer thingy), using free versions of everything..even though money wasn't an issue (what our client said). Same client decided to go with transhotel because it was sooooo gooood... OK? Why did noone heard of them then?
Anyhow, the api was xml based.. we had to send some xml that was validated against a schema, we received another that was supposed to be validated againts another schema.. and so on and so on..
...
...
supposed..
The API docs were nonexistent.. What was there, was broken English or Spanish.. Even had some comments like Add This & that to chapter xy.. Of course that chapter didn't even exist yet. :( And the last documentation they had, was really really old..more than a year, with visible gaps, we got the validation schemas not even listed in the docs, let alone described properly.
Yaaay! And that was not everything.. besides wrong and missing data, the API itself caused the 500 server error whenever you were no longer authenticated.
Of course it didn't tell you that your session was dead.. Just pooof! Unhandled crap everywhere!
And the best part?! We handled that login after inspecting what the hell happened, but sent the notification to the company anyways.. We had a conf call, and sent numerous emails explaining to them what a 'try catch' is and how they should handle the not authenticated error <= BTW they should have had a handled xml response for that, we got the schema for it! But they didn't. Anyhow, after two agonizing days talking back and forth they at least set up the server to be available again after the horrified 500 error. Before, it even stopped responding until reset (don't ask me how they managed to do that).
Oh yeah, did I mention this was a worldwide renown company?! Where everybody spoke/wrote English?! Yup, they have more than 700 people there, of course they speak English! <= another one of my ex clients fabulous statements... making me wanna strangle him with his tie.. I told him I am not talking to them because no-one there understood/spoke English and it would be a waste of my time.. Guess who spent almost 3 hours to talk to someone who sounded like a stereotypical Indian support tech guy with a flue speaking Italian?! // no offence please for the referenced parties!!
So yeah, sadly I don't have SS of the fucked up documentation..and I cannot post more details (not sure if the NDA still holds even though they canceled the project).. Not that I care really.. not after I saw how the client would treat his customers..
Anywayz I found on the interwebz some proof that this shitty api existed..
picture + link: https://programmableweb.com/api/...
SubRant: the client was an idiot! Probably still is, but no longer my client..
Wanted to store the credit card info + cvc and owner info etc.. in our database.. for easier second payment, like on paypal (which he wanted me to totally customize the payment page of paypal, and if that wasn't possible to collect user data on our personalized payment page and then just send it over to paypal api, if possible in plaintext, he just didn't care as long as he got his personalized payment page) or sth.... I told the company owner that they are fucking retards if they think they can pull this off & that they will lose all their (potential) clients if they figure that out.. or god forbid someone hacked us and stole the data.. I think this shit is also against the law..
I think it goes without saying what happened next.. called him ignorant stupid fucktard to his face and told him I ain't doing that since our company didn't even had a certificate to store the last 4 numbers.. They heard my voice over the whole firm.. we had fish-tank like offices, so they could all see me yelling at the director..
Guess who got laid off due to not being needed anymore the next day?! It was the best day of my life..so far!! Never have I been happier to lose my job!!
P.S. all that crap + test + the whole backand for analysis, the whole crm + campaign emails etc.. the client wanted done in 6 months.. O.o
P.P.S. almost shat my pants when devRant notified my I cannot post and wanted to copy the message and then everything disappeard.. thank god I have written this in the n++ xD
11 -
wtf!! That stupid piece of @#$@#$, how does it even work for anybody. EVER. Bundle it in a container, make sure it's ephemeral. Yerterday it worked, and today it fucking does whatever it wants@!!! That fuking fucktard piece of shit!!
Fuck it. Fuck all of it.
It must be a fault in my RAM or something. I mean, nothing has changed since yesterday. I could run the appp in the container yžday ez, and today -- it gives me a finger, completely ignoring my parameters!! Asshole!!!!7 -
Today a task was assigned to a coworker, he is a good guy, but one of those that never complain, never say anything, get there early, go to lunch at the exact same hour everyday, doesnt talk to anybody and gets off at exactly 6pm.
So, the task was submitted by QA, according to them, a disabled input could be enabled by going into the dev tools and enabling it...
So i went over the pm and told her (cos she is a cunt) that the ticket was just bullshit and that first of all, we had no control of it, but if that is the case, we can go over and add event listeners to all the inputs in the platform to avoid people changing them...like wtf?
Since she is a dumb cunt, she 'escalated' the task to the senior dev... he is also a total fucktard who doesnt know a shit. The dude said that the task was ok and we had to do it or not but it was better to do it, justifying the ticket in the most stupid and incoherent way... like wtf is to do with it? Tell the user to not go over the devtools and enable it? The fuckkkk
I felt like i was about to shit my kidney, seriously, but what can i do? It is not the first time things like that happen. The stupid fuck also let one of his friends add several migrations to change several tables columns just because of 'good practices' which in first place left the databas all fucked up and with fucked relations.
I'm just so tired of these fucks, incompetent motherfuckers... I told a friend about it and he said that that was nothing, it is worse when you have to work for banks and that the only thing i could do was to let it go and learn from it, to not do the same mistakes. Im thinking in quitting... what should i do?3 -
Just finished my finals.
Had to run k-means with pen and paper only. I find this kind of question stupid but why not. BUT WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CHOSE SOME INITIALIZATION THAT TAKES 13(!!!!) FUCKING ITERATIONS TO CONVERGE ? Just in case my first 12 iterations are correct by chance ? Guess what, you fucktard, I GOT IT.
And doing the same calculus by hand 13 FUCKING TIMES is moronic as hell, you retarded piece of shit ! When you train your neural networks, do you also backpropagate your gradient all by yourself, mongoloid baboon? Getting sick of those stupid assignements1
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View