Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "friends"
So a friend of Mine asked me to check their Mail server because some emails got lost. Or had a funny signature.
Mails were sent from outlook so ok let's do this.
I go create a dummy account, and send/receive a few emails. All were coming in except one and some had a link appended. The link was randomly generated and was always some kind of referral.
Ok this this let's check the Mail Server.
Let's check the mail header. Nothing.
Face -> wall
Fml I want to cry.
Now I want to search for a pattern and write a script which sends a bunch of mails on my laptop.
Fuck this : no WLAN and no LAN Ports available. Fine let's hotspot the phone and send a few fucking mails.
Guess what? Fucking cockmagic, no funny mails appear!
At that moment I went out and was like chainsmoking 5 cigarettes.
It hit me! A feeling like a unicorn vomiting rainbows all over my face.
I go check their firewall. Shit redirected all email ports from within the network to another server.
Yay nobody got credentials because nobody new it existed. Damn boy.
Hook on to the hostmachine power down the vm, start and hack yourself a root account before shit boots. Luckily I just forgot the credentials to a testvm some time ago so I know that shit. Lesson learned: fucking learn from your mistakes, might be useful sometimes!
Ok fucker what in the world are you doing.
Do some terminal magic and see that it listens on the email ports.
Holy cockriders of the galaxy.
Turns out their former it guy made a script which caught all mails from the server and injected all kind of bullshit and then sent them to real Webserver. And the reason why some mails weren't received was said guy was too dumb to implement Unicode and some mails just broke his script.
That fucker even implented an API to pull all those bullshit refs.
I know your name "Matthias" and I know where you live and what you've done... And to fuck you back for that misery I took your accounts and since you used the same fucking password for everything I took your mail, Facebook and steam account too.
Git gut shithead! You better get a lawyer16
Me: Wanna see this website I built this weekend?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: I connected a bunch of APIs so you can snap a photo of yourself and get a recommended song based on your facial expression. Pretty cool, right?
Friend: *thinking* ... I think you should change the size of that button, and the colors are pretty bad, dude.
Every time I show my non-tech friends anything I get this kind of feedback :/19
How do you tell your family that you are currently developing a PornSite for a Client?
*Asking for a friend*
Note: I don't have friends41
Friend: can you teach me how to hack fb?
Me: yeah sure, follow these steps:
> Install kali
> Open terminal
> Rm -rf /*
This is Why I give IT support so much respect.
Friend: my computer stopped working can you help?
Me: (porn...again) fine I'll help.
Friend: come over when your ready
Me: Be there tomorrow bro
Me: where is your desktop
Friend: upstairs, I tried everything man
Me: look at the monitor... look at the hp piece of shit.. see green light on... look back at the monitor...no light... look at my friend.
Me: look behind the desk...
Me: 😪your monitor is unplugged
Me: fuck you lose my number5
Fixing family / friends technical problems, episode 2.
Problem: "I lost my iPhone, I know there's a thing that lets you find it. Can you help?"
Me: sure, it's called "find my iPhone"
Friend: ah yes that's it. How do I use it?
Me: I'll show you, just login here and ... oh you didn't set it up?
Friend: Probably not, I don't know much about this computer stuff.
Me: ... when you setup your phone for the first time, it's a full screen thing that says "do you want us to locate your phone if it's lost. Yes / No". It's hardly writing an encryption algorithm now is it?
Friend: no it's not, but still I just didn't know. I probably clicked no for everything.
Me: ... says here you clicked yes for iCould ... and yes for photo sync ... so you read the one about your pictures but not about lost or stolen property ... nice.
Friend: ... so you can't find it then.
Me: No, natural selection took it away from you.
Friend: oh **** off.6
Anyone else getting used to seeing certain usernames in devRant? We may not have "friends" like Facebook, but is still a kick ass community 😃191
Friend: So, you can program
Friend: nice, can you hack a Facebook profile?
And when I was busy wasting my time on my girlfriend who is my ex now, my friends were busy coding an AI chat-bot. Now, I use their chat-bot to talk to when lonely.
Girlfriends ditch you.... code doesn't. Love code.15
This rant is devoted to my study friends. You see, I never knew what it was to not have people making fun of you/bullying you until I started my study.
Elementary school + highschool was one big mess of bullying, being made fun of and hardly having any friends.
At highschool I decided I wanted to go into IT. Especially programming. Programming in particular because when I was programming, I, for once, was the one in control. The code listened to me and for that tiny moment I was god.
Never really had much friends though and when I told my parents I wanted to do an MBO study (application development), my mother warned me that although she and my dad supported me with whatever my decision would be, MBO level studies were rough because of the general mindset/atmosphere there.
I thought fuck it, I want to do programming because that seems awesome and maybe I'll even make some friends with the same interests!
Then study arrived. Met a few guys with similar interests and we started hanging out together.
And then it came back just like before. Two guys who loved bullying and I was still a quite easy target because I couldn't stand up for myself.
But, then something happened. I liked a girl, she was in the hallway and two of the bullies (there were about 4-5 in total) got up and started fucking around with me (about her) and I just sat there, not daring to do anything with tears in my eyes.
Then two of my classmates noticed it, quickly came to my desk and started pushing the guys away with 'back the fuck off, what the fuck has he done to you?!'. Then one of those guys (now still about my best friend) came to me to see if I was alright.
We started talking. Then at some point, another bully had a go at me. This would be the final time. He was about 2 meters tall (I was about 160cm or something) and stood there in the door opening with a very nasty smile saying all nasty stuff, trying to intimidate me and probably tried to make me feel like crap again.
Nice guy on my right asked me to step to the left. Gave that guy a huge fucking foot in his chest and he smacked onto the ground. Made a gentleman's sign like 'go ahead, sir!' while gesturing towards the door.
From that moment on the bullying stopped. Throughout my study, some other bad things happened but those guys were always there for me.
Although I've lost touch with most of the guys (they're on social media, I'm not really), we still meet up once in a while and have a lot of beers while talking and laughing and thinking back to the good times we had together.
The study wasn't the best for what we were taught as in studying but it's the best choice I've ever made nonetheless.
Oh and that best friend and I still have loads of contact!12
I was hanging around with my friend:
Me: Gosh, this waiting is killing me!
Friend: You're programmer - aren't you used to waiting?
Friend(non dev): Hey. Do you know how much it costs to maintain an app?
Me : Well that depends. What are you planning to do?
Friend: Something like Trivago. But small.
Me: That still doesn't tell me anything
Friend: Come on. Just give a number. How hard can it be?
Me: 42. *facepalm*
Friend: See wasn't that hard. Was it?
Me: *thinking* Don't correct him. Just let him be.19
I keep forgetting people's birthdays and thereby I forget to wish people, and wishing people everyday can become a chore. As somebody once said, if you do something more than once, automate it.
Spent two hours and ended up building a bot that consists of four functions: login, checkIfAuthenticated, postToProfile and getBirthdaysToday using mostly axios and cheerio.
Currently works perfectly and I've been thinking of writing a blog post about it for my 'Automating Your Life' series.
I'll post the link in the comments soon when I'm done with the blog post.41
In my previous company, I used to work for a client company which had a terrible website. It was about financial data and people would have to wait too long before the page loaded because there was a freaking 1.2 megs of minified, compressed JS file that needed to load before you could do anything.
Everyone knew that was a pain in the ass and nobody wanted to touch spaghetti code and mess up something they didn't know.
I wanted to however take a shot at it. So an architect from client side and I discussed how we were gonna go about it and how we were gonna find the stuff that needed to load on page load and stuff that could be loaded later.
So we plan for it. We broke everything down from a globals polluting JS, found out the variables and functions that needed to run during first load by literally putting a console statement for each function and finally came up with two bundles.
The primary bundle was 120kb and would during first load and then every module would call it's own secondary bundle when the user interacted with it.
In the process, we removed half a meg of JS and the site became blazing fast.
I did it with a team of two members who, my manager thought were useless, learned a ton of stuff, setup proper process for the transition.
When the client didn't appreciate the amount of brain and effort we had put into it, these two members came forward to tell the client to acknowledge my effort and attributed the success of it to me.
I was totally moved. There was so much respect that I didnt care what anybody else thought. I was just so happy to work with those two humans.
When i left the company, i gifted them stuff they always talked about or wanted. :) Feels good.2
So my friend started a YouTube channel, being the motivational man I am I encouraged him and made him a logo for his channel.
It started here, he called me a bazillion times every single day asking me to make stuff like Channel banners, intros.
He even went so far to call my design bad and that I could do better.
I'm definitely losing my hold on my generosity, it's like this with every single fucktard I help. It's like programmers don't get to have a life, people pitch me stupid ideas at every party.. Having a casual conversation a guy starts talking about an idea.
Oooh... And the worst part they say you can have 60% and just give them 40% 'MINORITY' share for coming up with an idea I could pull up from my arse instantaneously
Next time he asks me something I'm gonna fuck him up or just charge him a bazillion dollars... FUCK FUCK FUCK... REALLY GOT TO BUY THAT STUPID STRESS CUBE15
me: Better check my phone for texts from friends
me: *checks phone*
me: Better get some friends
* Few seconds later *
me: Better go back to terminal2
Friend: "Wow! Is it a Raspberry PI?"
Me: "It's another version called Banana, but yes."
Friend: "I want one too for the games!"
Me: "OK, it's easy. There's a ROM called Retro ..."
Friend stare at me intensively
Me: "Sigh... Ok, I'll setup it for you..."7
Friend: Hi! Can you create a car rental website for me?
Me: hmmm... yeah, we need to define some..
Friend: I will pay you in beer! 😉
Me: We need to define how you want to die.
Why some people try to ignore the fact that programming is a fucking job?7
Made a list of all my friends in Java.
then I run:
I get: Index out of bound exception.
What is the problem, send help12
A (non dev) friend of mine was browsing some stuff on my other laptop today.
*I was just sitting bored*
SSHed into it.
Closed the browser.
Shut down the system down.
Totally freaked him out!
It was an awesome feeling!4
Me and myself have worked on so many projects together but somehow we never really finished any of them...10
That time when you code up something really cool (to you, that is...) and none of your friends understand.
Me: "Look at this cool thing!"
Them: "Looks like a bunch of numbers."
Me: "But they mean foo, bar, and baz!"
Just deleted my Facebook and github account (after migrating over to bitBucket) and realised.
I had more followers on github than friends on Facebook. Feels bad man..3
Banks be like
You don't have much money?
Here, let me keep taking some of that from you until you get more, k?
Oh, that was more than you had?
Now you owe me even more, nerd.
What, you can't pay that either?
Better ask me for a loan so you can pay off your debt to me. Loser.
What? You still can't pay?
I'm gonna take your everything!29
EVERY FUCKING DAY ANOTHER RETARD ON MY DOORKNOB WHO HAS TO TELL ME ABOUT HIS GREAT IDEA.
I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT VOICE ENABLED MUSIC PLAYER APPS. SO THAT YOU CAN CHANGE SONGS WHILE TAKING A SHOWER
NO ONE WANTS A GPS TRACKER APP FOR THEIR FUCKING DOG AND HOW DO YOU EVEN REMOTLY THINK THAT YOUR FUCKING DOG HAS BUILD IN GPS ANYWAY
AND NO WE WILL NOT MAKE BILLIONS AND TAKE YOUR 10% SHARE UP YOUR ANUS. YOUR IDEA IS AS WORTHLESS AS YOUR EDUCATION WAS OBVIOUSLY.13
I hate it when people don't want to work for themselves and when I share something for their knowledge
"Wow what pro", "Dude you're so smart" etc in a sarcastic manner.
Dude wtf, you don't want to improve yourself then fuck off. You're there because of yourself not because I fucked it up for you.
You reap what you sow and i don't need people discrediting my effort to get to where I am today. I get it, I'm not even what you would call "pro", So what shitface?! I wanna be there someday. If you don't then just die. I don't need people like you in my life 😬😬😬7
Friend calls, who never called in a decade.
Me : Hii...
F : Hey...I used this auto-liker on FB and I'm following......
ME : *Disconnect*
I felt anger and depression all at once.5
I HATE it when I give my phone to my friends for like 2 mins and they clear my notifications and recent apps while giving back!
6:30pm: "You programmers have no life at all. Spending the whole day infront of a computer! "
6:31pm: "Hey could you please loan me some money, I am so broke right now"
*Me singing in my head*: 🎵🎵Young, dumb and broke4
*friend sees me using inspect element*
Friend: woah dude, are you hacking?
Me: no, actually, I-
Friend: Dude, how do I do that? I want to use that to hack Clash Royale! Or minecraft!
When you've created a small little program to test out a new language you're learning and you're really proud of it 🤗 then show it to your -non programmer- friends and they're like,that's shit wtf is the point in that you're an awful coder...
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! 😫😭5
Shortest friendship story-
I randomly posted on a group- "Hey can someone lend me Udemy Account if you have bought The Web Developer Bootcamp by Colt Steele, I am a student and really wish to do the course"
Next minute, I got a pm- "Give me your e-mail id pal, I will gift you the course"
This man in his 50s was so generous. We talked about tech, country and exchanged social handles.
By the way the course is really worth it.10
(Written March 13th at 2am.)
This morning (yesterday), my computer decided not to boot again: it halts on "cannot find firmware rtl-whatever" every time. (it has booted just fine several times since removing the firmware.) I've had quite the ordeal today trying to fix it, and every freaking step along the way has thrown errors and/or required workarounds and a lot of research.
Let's make a list of everything that went wrong!
1) Live CD: 2yo had been playing with it, and lost it. Not easy to find, and super smudgy.
2) Unencrypt volume: Dolphin reports errors when decrypting the volume. Research reveals the Live CD doesn't incude the cryptsetup packages. First attempts at installing them mysteriously fail.
3) Break for Lunch: automatic powersaving features turned off the displays, and also killed my session.
4) Live CD redux: 25min phonecall from work! yay, more things added to my six-month backlog.
5) Mount encrypted volume: Dolphin doesn't know how, and neither do I. Research ensues. Missing LVM2 package; lvmetad connection failure ad nauseam; had to look up commands to unlock, clone, open, and mount encrypted Luks volume, and how to perform these actions on Debian instead of Ubuntu/Kali. This group of steps took four hours.
6) Chroot into mounted volume group: No DNS! Research reveals how to share the host's resolv with the chroot.
7) `# apt install firmware-realtek`: /boot/initrd.img does not exist. Cannot update.
8) Find and mount /boot, then reinstall firmware: Apt cannot write to its log (minor), listed three install warnings, and initially refused to write to /boot/initrd.img-[...]
9) Reboot!: Volume group not found. Cannot process volume group. Dropping to a shell! oh no..
(Not listed: much research, many repeated attempts with various changes.)
At this point it's been 9 hours. I'm exhausted and frustrated and running out of ideas, so I ask @perfectasshole for help.
He walks me through some debugging steps (most of which i've already done), and we both get frustrated because everything looks correct but isn't working.
10) Thirteenth coming of the Live CD: `update-initramfs -u` within chroot throws warnings about /etc/crypttab and fsck, but everything looks fine with both. Still won't boot. Editing grub config manually to use the new volume group name likewise produces no boots. Nothing is making sense.
11) Rename volume group: doubles -'s for whatever reason; Rebooting gives the same dreaded "dropping to a shell" result.
A huge thank-you to @perfectasshole for spending three hours fighting with this issue with me! I finally fixed it about half an hour after he went to bed.
After renaming the volume group to what it was originally, one of the three recovery modes managed to actually boot and load the volume. From there I was able to run `update-initramfs -u` from the system proper (which completed without issue) and was able to boot normally thereafter.
I've run updates and rebooted twice now.
After twelve+ hours... yay, I have my Debian back!
This might come off like i'm so full of myself, but its just true.
This probably happens to so many other girl devs as well, so this might be relatable.
Why can't guys at school, work, etc. just be friends with me? They often start liking me as more than a friend, causing me to disappoint them that I don't, and then they don't want to be friends anymore.
I get it, there aren't many developer, 'gamer', reasonably attractive girls out there, but damn it kinda sucks :/.32
Friend: "You're a hacker, right?"
Me: "If you prefer to name it like that, yes"
Friend: "So... Could you hack a phone for me and get all images on it?"
Me: "Who are you again?"3
There is only one important rule to live by:
Never lend anyone your 256 GB USB-C/USB-B combo memory stick. There is a 100% scientifically-backed certainty that you will never, in your meager existence, see it again.14
You know, sometimes I wish I had friends who knew how to code or new a bit about the programming world. Then I could show them my projects and they could help out of they wanted. I could also get them to properly criticize my designs and script. Instead of the ones that just scroll past your shit and say nothing at all, you know, people who would actually give a little bit of a shit. Sigh.6
To everyone in hurricane war path...
YOUR WONDERFUL STUBBORN ASSES BETTER LET ME KNOW YOU'RE OK. I'M GOING TO BE WORRIED SICK UNTIL ALL THESE FUCKING WATER TORNADOES ARE DONE.32
I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:
"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "
OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:
"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."
PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".
Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet7
Hey guys! I made a sort of parody website as a project for my university and I would really love to get some critisism!
Here it is:
Note that it's not perfect, has some dead links and is overall still under construction, but if you don't like the UI, User Experience or some other feature, please let me know!
I'm sorry if this isn't the place to pester for help, but I've literally got no one to ask (who knows his shit) for opinions...12
My relatives: "Can you fix my computer/ipad/etc..."
Me: "Sure why not. I'l take a look when I have the time"
Lesson: Don't be so arrogant.2
There are so many awesome dev jokes and puns here, i want to share them all with my friends. But i know none of them would understand whats so hilarious about them :(4
Why the fuck am I - who never had a girlfriend in his life - the person my friends come to to get relationship advice?
Well, I can tell them what no to do...13
I don't have a ton of friends, but I do have a few. None of them can code (one has tried HTML/CSS and didn't get past the fundamentals). When I make something cool, and show it off to my friends they just don't understand the struggles and triumphs that were involved in that project. As a beginner/intermediate dev, feedback is huge and no one I know in person can give it to me. There are a couple people I chat with online that help me with my projects, but that's nothing like sitting down with someone and listening to their feedback, suggestions, ect.
Why do my friends have to be so non-techy?17
This here is some source code that i made. And I'll admit, I was a bit frustrated at the time of making. I just started learning to code in HTML and CSS a coulpe days ago. And a friend asked if I could make him a website. So I told him that I barely know the basics yet. And he says that it doesn't matter just as long as he gets a website. So now, a couple days of tryhard coding later, he raged about how bad the site looked and that he himself could have done a better job than I did. And yet the entire site had over 300 lines of code in it (perhaps not very much for you hardcore coders out there, but a biiig step for me) and several subpages, all with custom error pages and all. Although I'll admit, the design was a fucking ugly as fuck since i can design about as good as an alligator flies. But man was I mad after that, haven't talked to him since. The bastard. But to he point, in my rage i made this. An outburst of anger that I later refactored to fit a large amount of devs (since I reckon 99% of programmers deal with clients/customers instead of friends). And if anyone has a spare dns space to put the code on, then help yourself.
The link is:
Have a good day!10
I already wrote one rant about how my family deals with me being a developer, but this rant I wanna dedicate to people close to my family and what they actually think...
Earlier this year I ended school, so I was supposed to find a job. Well...I live in region where only small IT "companies" exist. It is really hard to find job as a developer around here. These small companies either do not want to hire anyone or they just hire people with super amazing university or just family members and friends. Anyway, I did not want to move to the capital city, so I just kept seraching...and that is how this family friends started to be fucking toxic.
While searching for job everyone just kept telling me how am I lazy as fuck and will not just go digging fucking drains or work for minimum wage to some korean shit company around here. Of course not literally, but I can see when someone starts to look at me as I am completely crazy. Our family lost many fake friends who just do not understand because of this. But it did not ended here...
When I finally found a job 1.5 month earlier, I was so happy. Job from home in relative good company. Ho Lee Fuk! Nobody believes me I am actually working. People look at me as I am a lazy fuck laying all day in bed and watching fucking TV. I am done with these dick people.
End of story.3
Friend : “What’s a devDuck”
Me: “We’ll use it as a problem solving technique. It’s a technique where if you get stuck, you try to explain the problem to a rubber duck.”
Friend: “Because you don't have the people skills to describe it? Autism levels skyrocketing”
FUCKING USELESS 'FRIENDS' WHO ONLY CALL/MESSAGE FOR HELPING THEM TO CHOOSE TO SELECT APPROPRIATE LAPTOP FOR THEIR 'PURPOSE'. IM FUCKING DONE. THIS IS the THIRD TIME IN THIS WEEK. STOP GETTING ON MY GODDAMN NERVES. VISIT AMAZON FOR FUCKS SAKE, APPLY FILTERS AND BOOYAH MAGIC. YOU GET A FUCKING VARIETY OF LAPTOPS TO CHOOSE FROM. BUT NO YOU WON'T, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING USE AMAZON.6
Friend: 'I have an idea you could totally do: a search engine for travellers that searches hostels, hotels, flights and resteraunts'
Me: 'yeahh I'm currently working on an e-commerse website. Should keep me.busy for a while'
Friend: 'integrate it into your website, it'd be silly not to'
Do people think we just click 'integrate idea' button for a living??!
Seriously the fux3
When you've to explain normal people that you're a dev and not a hacker and so you can't just hack into their ex's Facebook account like it's some magic trick.3
last week was the funniest week in my damn life.
so apparently, some of friend knew about i can make some mobile applications, lets just call her riri. and that week, riri's Instagram account got hacked.
whats so funny about it? she ask me to get her account back or she'll accuse me as the one who hacked her account.
when i ask her, how could i bring her account back, she replied with, "why would you ask me? you were the one who good at computer thingy"
if i can drive a car, you'll assuming that i can make a car and repair it myself?
My first try at greentext.
>18y.o recently recruted to a university
>1 month before moving to the university
>Be alone with his computer && electronics hobbys
>My town sucks
>Go on first year student integration camp
>Yay im going to meet a lot of people like me!
>Camp near the lake, 100km from home
>Moved my stuff to a house
>I dont know anybody
>Meet 3 friends who are going to live with me
>One of them is great, i like him, he likes to code, uses mac and iphone (it suffices for his needs, he understand everybody else who thinks otherwise)
>Two of them are pro party guys / alcohol vaccums
>Fucking pricks with their boombox
>99% of students are just there to drink a FUCKING LOT
>I had been drunk only once at the camp and i havent drunk since because of AlcoholAfterEffects®
>Have a sad moment due to me wasting my time and money here.
>Totaly wasted my time... and found nobody like me
>After that day i meet 2 programers
>I have taught them OOP
>Had a great time
>Bizarre student party rituals
>Use my torch i made literary 8h before the camp had started
>Torch is made from pvc pipe, 9v battery, chinesium buck converter, old led module, switch
>Find the guy with the HUGE TORCH
>Wow. Is it the 100W homemade floodlight?
>Conversation about our constructions
>Both sides were looking for a friend with similar hobbies
>Exchange the contacts
>Hopefuly meet thogether and make few projects in the future
>Got 3 friends in one day
>But still dosent understand the huge amount of alcohol nearly everyone is drinking14
Hey, I had a question. How social are you all IRL?
I'll explain myself. IRL, I don't talk to anyone unless they talk to me (which I don't seek) for example. And regarding friends, I've never had more than one "buddy" each school year, unconsciously dropping them once we weren't linked by school anymore. There is only two people I have kept throughout the years and that I'd call friends, one of them is my girlfriend.
That being said, I know I'm especially asocial, but I'm curious how everyone is here :)
We often hear "Computer people don't have many friends blabla" but I'm curious about that ^^30
To the people talking about boats on the other side of the cubical wall, FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING FOR 45 MINUTES! DO YOU WORK? I HOPE YOUR BOATS ALL GET RUST. I worked 12 hours on Sunday, got 4 hours of sleep, pulling a full day, then depending on how much work I get done work all night again. RESPECT MY QUIET ZONE!!! Uncouth peasants!14
When someone you know asks for a favour..
"Hey I have this wordpress website & heard you know PHP, could you help me out with this 1 plugin? :)))"1
Is having friends something that I am actually supposed to do?
It just occurred to me that I don't have anyone that I would call a good friend.13
A good friend of mine turned 38 yesterday. It will be his last birthday. Last month was his last Christmas and New Years. He entered hospice care this month. His doctors have said he's only got a few weeks left, so he's come off the treatment for his brain tumour. His kids are old enough to understand he won't be here much longer. A bunch of us, friends from high school, flew up to see him in the fall. It's hard to believe someone our age won't be with us to see another year. It puts things in perspective.6
My dev mates are all gone for Xmas
Before one of them left we hugged.
He said:gonna get laid tonight, I'm going to be all out of orgasms
Me:YOU CANT SAY THAT WHILST YOUR HUGGING ANOTHER MAN!
Wtf is wrong with my friends
They like to freak me out by saying awkward things in uncomfortable situations
PS I don't hug people like ever I was trying to be nice 😕14
I just started to use
"titties" for success message
"no titties" for error message
... I need friends... and titties obviously4
This, my friends, is a very common virus in Turkey called "Musallat" (which is just a tiny program that hides all of your data in your flash drive inside a hidden folder that has a blank name, and forces you to click it's shortcut to infect all other drives thag plugged in your pc) being clicked by my dumb ass friend eventhough I told everyone to not click the .lnk if they see it.
I am so fucking mad right now.4
So this happened some time ago but I didn't know devRant back then.
In school we had to write some code in Java and before the lessen one of my friends said to me that he already knew Java and that it was like a very easy coding language.
Then, when we actually had to code, he was complaining that his code didn't work.
So I stopped coding, stood up and walked over to him. He had only very few lines of code and after reading the error message I told him that he was missing a semicolon in line X.
He then asked me what a semicolon was. At that moment I thought: Oh, it's just that one thing that you put after ALMOST EVERY LINE OF CODE IN JAVA. I showed him where I find it on the keyboard and then I fixed his code (it had way more errors than just a missing semicolon).
I have no problem with helping other people but if that person brags about how well they know Java and then not knowing what a semicolon was, that's just not ok.2
While I'm still struggling with Webpack and Babel. There's one light in the end of this abyss. Dear @AlexDeLarge is reaching out and helps me with all his experience. devRant, what a wonderful place.7
We all have that one friend who says that he is a computer genius because he built his PC himself but then he doesn't know the difference between bits and bytes.10
So I was setting up my friend's NAS. Got everything worked in minutes (dns, port forwarding etc.). Enabled ftp connection tried it locally, working. Tried remotely, timed out...
After half an hour I was about to tear my hair out one by one when he suddenly said to wait a sec he knows what's the problem. Tapped two on his phone and suddenly, it's working.
THE FUCKING PHOTO UPLOADING FROM HIS PHONE TO THE CLOUD BLOCKED ALL INCOMING CONNECTIONS AND HE WAS AWARE OF THAT ALL ALONG. WHAT THE FUCK MAN, DO YOU ENJOY SEEING ME STRUGGLE?? That was literally an "I'm out" moment.
Him: Coding is completed. Just have to compile it.
You dumb fuck, go fuck yourself. Don't redefine meaning of complete. Get yourself a dictionary.1
var m = Me()
var f = Friend()
f.speak("I just wiped my whole disk drive with everything on it and I just realized how much I didn't care about all those movies I didn't watch or the TV shows that I'm keeping on the side...... It's like a clean new PC and I feel so free")
m.speak("Stop with the spiritual bullshit. You were installing Windows and it was a mistake right?")
> Joins voice chat with friends
> They're talking about virtual data quantities.
> One of them mentions petabyte.
> Everybody except me proceeds by making jokes about how "petabyte" sounds like dog food and other miscellaneous things.2
My friends just got me the best birthday present ever. Always wanted a rubber duckie, never thought I'll have something even better, my own Tux - will call him Tuxy 😊🐧8
That moment when your developer friends talk about some new programming language and all you can do is just nod your head because you don't have a clue.
PS. They will definitely read this rant and know the next time, I just nod my head :D1
Friend: hey could you help me with buying / fixing xy?
Me: sure no problem, because I can appreciate being needed.
End of story2
The awkward moments when you've been laughing too much from most of these rants and your non programming friends wonder what's funny about them after showing them and trying to explain but they look at you all like...
Tfw nobody but your mom remembers your birthday. I just became 20 but holy shit I didn't think I would experience the world of an adult this quick20
No rant here but just wanted to remind the ladies and gentlemen to take that break and spend time with your family or friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, and pets. If someone s been meaning to do it and got bogged down by work, I hope this serves as a reminder.3
Wait a minute... something doesn't feel right around here, There's a certain someone missing from my devRant life again.
Enjoy your social leave.17
Had to integrate legacy code into the new framework.
Me: Where does the virtual sensor come from?
Colleague: It's in the docs.
Me: That step is not in the docs.
Colleague: It is, look into the file $FILE.
Me: Yeah, it's empty :D
Colleague: Nope, it's not.
Me: See, empty (pointing to laptop screen)
Colleague: Why is it empty? (keyboard typing...) Damnit, too many git remotes in my repo :D
>dreams something good
>mom wakes me up
>yells at mom
>gets shouted back
>thinks of dream again
>was soo good
Friend: So, are you studying computer engineering?
Friend: Woow cool, and do you make also games?
Me: Not now, there will be a separated module...
Friend: Awasome, if you will frequent that module, can you make for me an economic version of GTA but with a better interface and in little time?
Me: Fuuu...... 😑😑😑2
Sitting here with my friends. They are drinking and having a blast... I am on devRant and thinking to start a new project.10
I just started work on a new (personal) project for my portfolio and I don't know too much about design, so I'm hoping you guys can give me some feedback.
The project is going to be an app that the user can use to create a Poule (basically something like this but smaller: https://poules.com/us).
Any feedback is greatly appreciated!
Also tell me if you'd want to use this type of app with your friends!7
Warning: I code just for fun.
Today I finished a website and I asked to my friends to tell me what they think about it saying that it wasn't yet properly responsive and that could be some error, so I asked if they could use the computer to view it and all of them sent to me screenshots of the website on mobile.
I hate them.
P.S. Sorry for my english...8
My internet went out the other day and I genuinely didn't know what to do with myself! Pacing around my apartment until it came back 2 hours later.
I think I need to get out more or at least get some friends but, you know... people.4
I need some mental check up over here
When my friends ask me "What's your hobby?" then I would start saying: Well, nothing much just some programming.
Friend: Oh, programming! I see. So what language do you use?
Me: I use Python
Friend: Now I see why you like programming cause it's very easy right? I can write a Hello, World! Program in one line.
Me: Yeah! [but what I meant is you son of a motherf***in bi**h! It's not fu**ing easy. Just because it takes one line to type print("Hello, World!") doesn't mean it's fu**ing easy.]
When I say friends I mean classmates cause friends != classmates.3
I used to have this friend who wants to learn how to code, so I referred him to a website that provides tutorials for multiple programming languages. The next day he comes up to me saying he didn't understand a thing about it. After asking some questions about what he did, it turned out that he made the "Hello World" program for every single programming language on that website!2
Chilled out with one of my non-programmer friends over the weekend. We were talking about various projects I had worked on, and he became interested. He started learning js that night, and I was proud.
Cut to today, he sends me a message complaining about some of the weird syntaxes in python. Super proud moment.
Tips n' Tricks #1: how to distinguish real friends from fake ones
Answer: with a real one you don't end up talking about their last computer issues each time you interact with them1
One night, after one very stressful week of production code fixes (I was working on a game with some friends and I created the network infrastructure for P2P and database communication from scratch), I was at my gf's house. After we fell asleep, I stood up and screamed right at her something like "I fucking already told you how X works and how to communicate with Y. Learn to write code properly and after double checking yours then you shall ask me for a non-existing 'bug' fix. Learn how to properly write event based code and use polling you moron!". After that I turned to the other side and fell asleep immediately.
When I saw her the next morning sleeping in the couch, I could not understand why... Only after she described to me the whole incident I started laughing.
After that I just took two weeks off the project and after that period I never actually worked the same way (so hard) in my free time with them.1
An anomaly in human communications was discovered!! It appears that when a person asks a tech oriented friend "can you help me with my computer?" And receives a positive response, what he actually hears is "yes, I agree to be your slave for any technical issue you have from now and until the end of time"!
Scientists are investigating...2
One of my ex-trainees, mid-level dev at the time of the story, from the previous job asked me and insisted to work with me and if it's possible to open a position for him at my new employer (i was a team lead). We were also somehow friends, spending a lot of time together - including our girlfriends - outside of work.
He went to the interview, passed it and he received an approx. 1500 euros salary, jumping from around 1k euros. He was very happy with it and accepted the offer.
One week before starting his new job, my manager came to me and asked: "hey what happened with X?". I was like: "what happened?". "Don't you know? He sent an SMS this morning to announce us that he doesn't want the job anymore."
I had absolutely no idea about that. The second thing that I did was to give him a call and ask him about his decision. His argue was that "my current employer made my another offer: 1550 euros". I said something like "ok, have fun".
I got back to the manager to tell him about that. He offered to make another offer of almost 2000 euros to the guy, but I refused.4
I knew I had found the right group of friends when one of them suggested we try SQL Injection on the instant messaging feature of the bowling alley console.
Unrelated, do people not think, "hmm, that seems like an unnecessary feature?"2
My non-coding friends think i am an amazing developers as i can create landing pages and small websites and they sometimes come to me with stupid ideas for websites.3
C++ tough me that having 2 or 3 friends is ok in some situations, but its best to avoid them when possible.
Also, you cannot have friends outside of class.4
2017 has ended and I want to throw this fucking rock of anger with it out of the Window.
I will tell you how my last 3 to 4 years as private IT Guy (IT Dumpster) for everything was.
My Gaming Community:
It was so fucking retarded that I would like to punch everyone there in the face over a thousand times.
Seriously there are over 60 People in that Community and they take every shit for granted and only cry about everything.
I'm Paying since 4 Years over 60 € for our Server every month. Some people donated some small bucks over the time and in the end it was around 150 € Donations over 4 years.
Im thankful for the Donations, but these people really think that they can demand for this Donations private Gameservers for over years for free or think that they now own the Servers. WTF?? FUCK YOU!!
Im managing 2 Linux Server with Web, MySQL, Voice and Gameserver. What did 1 guy donate? 10 € for 4 years, thats around 15% for just a month. You would get our Teamspeak for 7 Days for that price idiots!!
I did all the damn Webdev and am now writing a App in Kotlin for Android man!!
Since last everybody in the Community gets on my nerves, because they are so ignorant and dont appreciate the work of others 😡.
My Association where I support the hole IT with a friend:
We decided in the commitee that we would take on major changes in our infrastructure.
We need to finish the barebone concept in the end of January 18.
Early December 17 I wrote my friend, that we need to have a meeting and plan everything.
Well, now I mostly designed the roadmap by myself and didnt receive any reply from my friend 💀.
I really dont understand why the shit always sticks at me and I need to finish it.
I really love to code something, install or repair PC's with joy or manage Server but the people around me are in my free time like poison and they take out my fun for it.
The only fun and enjoyable IT Part for me is at my fulltime job. Thats the only good place left for me as Safe Heaven and the people there really appreciate my knowledge and work I do.7
Me and my friends are having a all nighter coding sesh, because the presention day was near, then my friend's mom ordered some pizza. We had set a rule where, everytime someone finish a functionality/module, that someone can get one pizza. I can totally say it was a productive night, and the presentation went unexpectedly well.1
I was using chrome + Android studio simultaneously on my windows. I saw 3 episodes of 'friends' while my Gradle build finished.2
Real story :
There's this one colleague, who was a very good friend of mine. Always helped me in everything. That one friend in the team, who shares a lot of stuff with you.
And she suddenly, turns offensive when it comes to professional things and mainly competitive stuff in the team.
She becomes a completely different person when I get recognition for something in the team or when I become popular in the team.
She has that feeling that she should always stay in the lime light.
When I steal the show by doing something good, she starts to show faces.
Decided that it is a unhealthy friendship, as the friend i knew is no longer a friend when it comes into professional behavior at work,
And it started reflecting a lot in our personal friendship, outside work too.
Decided to cut the friendship and only be colleagues.
Did the same happen to someone else? Did you lose a friend because of things like this?7
I actually enjoy helping out my non-IT friends with IT related problems from time to time. I feel useful when I do so :/4
What a horrible monday today was. Fuck-all worked. Missed deadline. Not much sleep. Heart is racing.
But hey, the horoscope in the daily toiletpaper press knows it all better, as usual, 100% IQ:
💫"You have finally found your center. Your body and soul are feeling great and your're in tune with yourself. You are enjoying it and would love to share your experiences with your loved one."💫
Where is my rocket launcher??? I have to kill a newspaper.7
Me: I hate Windows/PHP/Gradle builds/etc
Other devRanters: Did we just became friends?
Me: friends is undefined. Please go to StackOverflow for undefined error.
*I'm still socially awkward*
Sigh OK, so, my friend we'll call him z has told me he's visiting the deep Web with tor. So I immediately start asking him about what security he uses (which is 3 VPNs tired through each other).
Like no z! You don't go to the deep Web, that's where the bad things happen! 😡8
Just one or two days ago there was a guy asking for opinions on his UI (a reddit viewer app). I couldn't find him and wanted to ask him a question tho.
You probably use some class for fetching the data from reddit, hoe to you make it accessible within your app? Storing a static instance within the application class (like many do with the application context) and using that one?
Would be nice if you could answer ^^13
This is why you should NEVER do tech favours for friends...
As a Christmas present I setup a WiFi router for a friend (Natted to the ip it acquires through DHCP). Since then I have had numerous messages from her because her brothers are blaming the WiFi for any internet issue they have.
I told her they need to check their cables since they looked quite dodgy when I installed the router.
Today they discovered they have a termite infestation. Her father is losing his shit with her and wants her to remove the router because he is adamant that the WiFi attracted the termites and they would not have an infestation without it.
FML... I just can't.... any fucking issue in that house is going to be blamed on the WiFi router as long as it exists.4
The company I used to work for, despite me not working there contacts me to get a verification code because the crappy developer they hired can't change a couple settings on the apple website and add themselves as a developer.
At the start of this all, a couple months back I gave them the code out of courtesy, but at this point, as i'm heavily invested in the development stage of my actual job as a vr developer, I won't take time out of my day to even answer the phone for them.
But what really pisses me off is the person who contacts me, my assumbly best friend, who during the last 12 months has only called me for these codes, so work related shit or just personal shit and never to hang out or play games or generally what we used to do as friends before he got a job at that stupid company doesn't have the balls to tell his boss that i'm busy with my job, that maybe if payment was offered as an incentive that I would be happy to be contacted.
When I left that company I didn't setup anything to make it so they would have to contact me, all I did was add myself as a developer of their app. I also heavily documented everything I did, all the issues I faced and the workarounds I found, and everything including all login information needed to get things working, I went above just "developing" the app I added in all the credits to all work used in the app as partly to make sure we don't get sued for stealing someones work without the right credit.
I hate the fact that I worked for minimum wage and did all of this shit, but I never complained at all about things like the 1 1/2 hour travel time (one way I might add) to my boss, the amount of money I spent on public transportation, the little money left over that I didn't even spend and instead give to my parents.
They know nothing about how hard that year was for me, and if they want to get this code, my so called friend can come chat in person, in his off time and when I'm done working on my own shit and we can discuss terms because this shit is just not fair at all.5
Met up with a good friend today we go off roaring all the time since we both own hooked up Jeep wranglers. Well we got together and after a fun day of crawling (no coding 😞) lol, We went to eat and I pulled up devRant and kind of mentioned how much I loved this little app and stuff and why it was about. Well turns out that I’ve been friends with this guy for sometime and we never talked profession. This guy is the Vice President to a large scale software development company here in my state!
I was dumbfounded ! Lol all this time this dude has been in the same field and I had no clue.
(I don’t get out much) 😅6
Yesterday me and my friend started a project. I set a github repo and said him to "If you make something with code just commit the changes to github so I can see what you did". After a while he said "I've commited something". And I checked what he did. There was 3 commits and they were exactly like that;
Commit 1. Test
Commit 2. Test 2
Commit 3. I wrote something
Then I said "please explain what you did when you commit changes". And he said "why we just upload the codes to the cloud it's more easier".
Today project is ended. Uploading codes to the cloud...6
This was a much needed vacation.
Was working non stop for last 6 moth. Went to my native place, enjoyed time with my parents and frienss.4
Just relocated to work in stockholm to work as android dev. Any devs out here who would like to meet up have some coffee or a beer and teach me the swedish ways? :D1
A few months ago I got recommended a Flutter and Dart course on Udemy, thought yeah fuck it lets get it, fast forward to 5 minutes ago...
"Ok I'm bored, feel like coding and doing something different, lets do some of this course..."
*Opens udemy, clicks on course*
"Hm, must have changed the thumbnail..."
*Clicks first lecture and is greeted with "Hello friends!"*
Yep, got the wrong fucking course didn't I ;-;
Here hoping Udemy may offer a refund seeing as I hadn't started the course till now... Fuck1
I will give you the money for the server and the domain name (not caring about the conversion rates and transfer charges) and I expect the app delivered in record time. We can talk about payment later.
Note to self: “Never work with people you know.”1
Hi, is anyone here playing euro truck simulator 2?
Looking for someone to play the Multiplayer mod with 😊
Preferably a German speaker, since it's my native language 😅2
Okay so I jumped on this app because I would ideally want to make friends interested in the stuff I am.
Using this app has really made me realise how much of a noob I am though. I feel like I'm doomed to never find the kinda people I wanna know.5
A non programmer friend sends me this with exitment "Its you! Its you!"
Do you have any annoying you want to get rid off, but you can't because of reasons?
I do. They are 4, but for now I'll talk about the gold medal winner.
When we met about 8-9 ago, she had just come back to town due to some very bad personal experience (not her fault). Anyway, she is polite, but her major flaw is that she is pushy. REAL BAD! And she gets mad when other people (including me) try to do it on her. Another one is having calls during random inappropriate times, because she had fight #N with her boyfriend, and last but not least, she will call when needs something out of someone.
Lately, her project is finding us a job, since we're both unemployed. Any job. The sad part is when she sends me job ads for dev jobs I don't qualify, e.g. Company X is looking for a dev with Y year of experience, knowing A, B, C & D technologies. I've told her that I don't qualify for most of the dev jobs she sends me, but she insists I should send my CV anyway, cause of reasons. Also, for some reason, I should be accounted to her for all my current choices when what I would honestly say is "BUG OFF".
Her latest endeavour is getting me one of her friends (a psychologist) as a "client". Her friend wants to have a professional website with writing posts/articles as a side dish. I'm not registered as a freelancer, so everything will be done under the counter, and her friend is OK with that. I'm no web developer, but I didn't refuse because of her backlash and also that would be a positive experience for me. Now, the juicy part. She gave her my phone number without my permission and she told me straight away. Her plan was having the three of us meet, though I don't know why and I didn't want her being around. I asked her to call me immediately, which it didn't happen. After being pestered by my friend for a couple of weeks if her friend called me, she finally did it on Monday. She didn't say to me anything I didn't know, but at least I have her phone now.
What I can offer her is a website skeleton with the usabilities she's asking. What I can't offer her is graphics/banner and security. And now I have to come up with reasonable price. Teams here ask 400-600€ for a complete website the way she asks, including VAT. I'm thinking around 100€ and I don't know when I can deliver the project. I've had some experience with Ruby and Sinatra, so I'll go with that, and I'll learn CSS along the way.
Thanks for reading till the end! 😃4
when you have a friend who doesn't know why she's studying computer science, and has lesser knowledge and passion in programming than you... Receives help from you and get a distinction while you get an A...2
(not really dev related, but a rant nonetheless)
I just got a new 3D printer, and all of a sudden, people are giving me print requests. I don't think that they realize that I don't just tell the printer that I want whatever, but that I have to either find the model online or design it myself.
Also, I have more friends now. Yay?5
Fren: yo check this IC out
[suddenly bitch ass contraption squirts milk on my face]
[bitch ass fren runs]
,w, <(motherfucker y u do dis)
Damn, help me guys. Tomorrow I'm invited to a "friends" party.
Don't want to go, but have to. I hate partys. I hate all this shit, alcohol, drunk people. Have to stay there for at least 6h, until 1am or so. I hate drinking alcohol, doing stupid alcohol drinking games.
And I don't like this friend. I don't have much contact with him in the last few months. I thought he would understand that I don't like him. But no - he never lets me alone. Don't want this.
Let me fucking code - I want to have my free time, let me alone. Don't need that friends. The school mates on my apprenticeship are good enough for me, they are friendly, thinking the same way and don't drink alcohol all the time.
I hate this. Damn. Hopefully I will survive this fucking party. Maybe I can browse devRant half time of the party.
Am I the only one who doesn't need all that shit? Partys, alcohol, social interaction all the time?19
My colleague had to build an inventory application with MS access. He did it in 6 months without no manual and then quit :D
Trying to make friends is hard.
Anyone else here that does c#? It would be great with some people to cooperate with. I got some projects currently going. (On my github. Link can be found in my bio)
Tell me i you’re interested :)19
FUCK YESSS I worked with a friend and we fixed everything wrong with my computer!!! Now I have Mint and windows too, so... Much... Config stuff....5
Two friends of mine (one of which actually introduced me to devRant) refuse to post on here.
...there's no need to explain that I want them to enjoy devRant (at it's full potential) with me but they don't see a point in writing.
Would you be so kind and give them some motivation/reasons in the comments? What's the point of dev-ranting?9
Has anyone else built any websites or apps for friends or family for free? Is it just me, or is free work always the least appreciated? The demands are also unrealistic. Meanwhile my full-time employers charges over $6000 for a week of work for the client which on some weeks is things like adjusting some styles and changing some config, and they are appreciative every time.9
me making new dev friends
me: yeah that's cool what IDE are you using for C++?
guy: like an editor where I write the code?
guy: hold on, I don't know what it was called
> taps around his desktop
> guy shows word 2007
> I'm laughing a bit uncomfortably because I'm not sure whether he is serious or not
> guy opens up .cpp file in word
> so many questions
After having finished an underpayed (friend discount) project for a few friends and their organization I conclode:
Don’t work for friends.3
Gotta love having developer friends you can trust to help you out when stuck, this goes to all you unsung heroes!
When you've been without a clue for ages, life just isn't making sense anymore, and then you realise your IDE imported java.awt.List1
I'm new here and I don't know if this is a thing -
But I wanted to know if anyone would be interested in coding with me (+_+)
I didn't know of a better approach...13
Have few close friends, not a swarm of people.
And keeps strong bonds with people that really matter.
Spending some "quality social time" is more valuable than shitload hours of fake fuckery with dumbfucks.
Just my opinion.
I'm a fresh out-of-college CS grad (in his early twenties) working at a small scale startup and the people in my Engineering team are at least 10 years elder to me. (this is my first job out of school -- ignoring the internships and such)
I have a tough time making friends with them and an even tougher time making conversation which I think is hurting my communication skills in a harmful way.
Don't get me wrong.. because they are so highly experienced engineers, I get to learn a lot more a lot faster and I love that part but I just feel like I don't laugh or talk enough at my office (otherwise, people have to tell me to shut up).
I mean when everyone is not plugged in with headphones and cranking the keyboards, they talk about their wives, kids, and stuff that I have no relation to. Like I know a lot about childbirth and car seats but except being shocked etc., I often don't have much to add to the conversation.
Also, on top of this, after looking at the sorry condition of people throughout my undergrad and my internships, I had decided to not get into the habit of drinking coffee. So, when they go on coffee breaks etc. they don't ask me if I want to come along and the times that I kind of forced myself to come along turned out to be kind of awkward and not something I'd wanna experience again.
What do you recommend? Understand that I absolutely love my job and I love learning so much around such intelligent people but I don't have fun at work. Is this Dev life or am I missing something?
Do you have any recommendations or similar stories of how you overcame this problem?5
I've alway pronounced it sequel but everyone I know swears it's SQL, so I say that now to fit in.
I feel like a spy, lying to my closest friends everyday...2
I lent money to a dev friend in need, he said "I'll pay you back when the customer pays me" ... I'm ready to forgive the debt...
I wanna make a c+friends language and it'd be dev friendly and will throw lots of errors on compile to show love. Also it'll compile slower with each newline so you can always say "it's compiling" there will be classes but people instead and then instead of new I'll have create. As for loops let's go with a friendly do while loop and dontdo while as normal while or dowith i while to have a friendly for loop. Instead of ifs let's say decide() and instead of else let's have or. Instead of functions I'll have well you need no functions you'll have jumps and tests before jumps just like assembly has. Oh and everything will be a pointer because then it runs nicer. To create a variable you can't use = because that's the equal sign in decide you need to use "var int myint is 69" because why not. Then to print to the console "console.outputstream.out(myint)" instead of threads I'll have please like "please work" where work is a jump target. I hope you'll enjoy this language ^^
I actually do have something to rant about!
The people I've decided to work with... are complete and utter fools. They don't want to keep updated with new practices and merely talk about awesome stuff... Let me elaborate.
The first person is someone I spent really many hours just writing with, I've helped him build on his personal project, which has now become our project (which I've done most of the work on now). He keeps writing about things that aren't fucking relevant for the current task - furthermore, he completely refuses to use any type of collaboration software in order to keep an eye on tasks we want to, and already have completed. He likes Git but doesn't provide helpful git messages, sometimes even stuff like 'forgot this'.. never any freaking description of what's actually been done! Not even after agreeing it should be done, he just doesn't understand what a helpful message is apparently.
I might be a bit special regarding wanting to follow practices, but how the fuck do you make any amount of money by being so ignorant!? He was a WP 'developer' a while ago, and has since changed to JS and are using a framework which he doesn't understand - he can't even remember what the documentation states.
So why do I 'work' with him? He knows a lot of phrases he's read in books, blogs, and the likes. That makes him really inspirational and positive and he really wants to become successful(like me!). But over the last few months, I've realized how bad he is at programming - he doesn't know basic programming concepts and have a hard time applying any sort of knowledge to his programming. If it's not pre-built, he can't use it, not even if the documentation has specific examples. He barely grasps the concept of binding data to a variable. He wouldn't know how to access it again though, it's just for the sake of binding it to some existing functionality.
The other guy really likes his old style. He hired me to maintain some application. Which has turned out to be a hell of several small tasks he needs to be finished or reworked - with no clear definition of the task. Most of the time, he'll do some initial changes, show the changes to me, vaguely explain what they do (not what he's trying to achieve) and first THEN ask me to do these changes, most often in some files that don't exist (he uses the wrong filenames so I have to guess/ask where the changes need to be made).
To top it all off, old syntax is used and don't get me started on the spaces+tabs for indenting lines... Because I've already added a great ESLint+Prettier conf and everything should be nicely formatted according to pre-defined rules.
But he won't take the time to install some plugins in his editor and I'm left with sometimes buggy, badly formatted code (the code I have to make changes with!) - that's while he several times have agreed that I can do what I want and that he even questions his own ways when looking at my changes which he calls by-the-book.
So why the motherfucking fuck do I keep working with him?
Well, he keeps paying so that's really nice - I haven't been able to properly execute the bigger tasks(which pays more) though, due to a lack of information or some badly written code I couldn't quite figure out how works (at a glance).
He also keeps talking about these new projects he wants to make.. he even has these freaking papers with descriptions and data-structures and we converse really good about these new awesome projects. He also likes cryptocurrencies(which is an interest of mine he has inflamed quite a bit) and lastly, he seems like a genuinely nice guy who I'd like to spend some time with even besides coding and work.
So now I stand here - stuck with people that make me feel like a demi-god or something because I use a git style-guide and ESLint+Prettier with the Airbnb style-guide.
What should I do? I'd really like some remote work and have a desperate need for money... So much so, that I might even have to pick up a fulltime job, in order to save my sorry ass - all because I like speaking with people who just like the thought of programming...
I'm actually quite lonely with my thoughts and they are the two only people I've had some sort of relationship with - who has an invested interest in programming/dev... I really like that, despite having to follow their thoughts as they surely can't follow mine.
Please be my friend or give me some paid work lol.
Also, I've been moving the last couple weeks - those weeks has been the most stressful of my life and have not contributed to my overall wellbeing and relations with people... It's good to be back at the computer again and be reading some devRant though!1
Went to my favorite scrapyard but it's hard to catch my friends here (I worked here for 6 months, learned a lotttttt). I always leave a surprise. This time I also brought aluminum to give so I much hide the bag and I'm placing a ridle.. This bottle in the front door. Let's see if they get it3
I was Noob af in my first year of engg!
My school friends and I decided to make a website.A website which will be a one stop shop for sports news,movies etc etc.
We took a week to make a logo and decide website's name.Before writing a single line of code we fought with one of group members and he left the project.😂
In the name of website we didn't do anything other than logo and name and the semester got over.I failed in two subjects in that semester.
In third semester i realized nothing gonna happen if i stay with these people so i started with Android on my own and I'm an android dev now.
Ps:I was the only from that group that actually made a website.It was E-commerce website that i made in sem 4
I lost all my friends due to my lifestyle.
Like literally there is no point to use WhatsApp ever again.17
I'm in Paris this weekend, with some other developer friends!! Who is in for a Meetup!!! Let's talk code/rants!!
So am teaching a friend of mine some Java basics. Unfortunately he keeps insisting on using Eclipse to be taught. Tried showing him the beauty of InteliJ but he says it's too confusing 🙃. So here I am typing some full codes that I could have magically inserted on InteliJ. I don't know how long I can take it.26
A friend of me said that intel Pentium and i3 is the same, that all laptops with intel`s logo have the same processor, you just have to view the info. of yours...2
I know everyone hates when people ask them for help with fixing IT related stuff.
I have a different approach to all similar questions. I don't get upset or anything, I just tell them that the device they have is a little bit shit, and suggest them buying a new expensive one that is better and will do all that. Your router isn't working as you want? Buy a Cisco (a real one with $1k+ price tag, not that Cisco branded Linksys garbage). Your printer isn't working as you want? Buy some high end Brother stuff. Etc...
After first few times they just stop asking...2
Anyone else celebrating new years alone at home? My "friends" are having a party somewhere but didn't invite me cause why would they? 🤷♂️
Anyway, happy new year. Hope you're having a better time than I have.1
I guess disappearing is a good thing.
I’m in school and a “friend” (f) brings up some sort of religion.
Another sits there to watch. (b)
f: hey, b, are you religious?
b: yeah, why?
f: i’m not a fan of fictional books.
At this point, i’m already mad. thats the second time he’s brought up that joke today. its been told by him many times in the past. now its just annoying.
f: the real true religion is the spaghetti monster.
then f starts to try to convince b that that is the real religion. at this point i go to a friend to 1) make myself look busy and 2) have someone with sense to talk to.
DISCLAIMER: As long as you accept what/who someone believes, you are good. but the moment you diss religion without having their point of view, you’ve lost all my respect. Please look at both POV’s6
should I get a rubber duck to tell my life problems to? or are friends a better alternative to talk to? any experience? 😁7
my boss on phone today, after a huge task list received these days:
- it would to build this "find my friends" feature in our existing app to boost downloads and reviews
- but i can't rebuild what Apple did.
- well why not?
- because i'm one guy, they are Apple and the rules don't apply to them
- ok but there are other apps that does this
- but they are not alone
- ok keep trying it must be a way
- is it urgent?
- no but it shall be done3
"hey guys look at soeedtest beta!"
[looks at them with a smirk]
"Hey, you should try it!"
[Shows my custom speedtest instance]
Me: "I had this weeks before you guys caught with the flow"
yeah new speedtest is awesome but a custom speedtest is even more awesome4
When friends ask me to do some coding...
Them: I want/need this and that and... [trillions of features and "cool" stuffs]
Them: Oh and this and that and [more "cool" stuff]
Me: Alright.. when do you need it?
Them: something around a week?
Is it just me or does everyone -not- accustomed to coding think that projects are usually done in a few days...?
Maybe the common opinion about coders is something like: They aren't humans, they are machines which convert caffeine during night time to source code3
I had a question stuck in my head for a long time: How does it feel to have a dev/geek/techie as your friend?
How did you meet them and what was your experience?
I've never had any dev/geek/techie as my friend (I had one but he has a communication problem so never got to interact properly). Anything I should keep in mind when befriending any techies/devs/geeks?7
So my friend wants to learn software development. That's great and I've offered to help, but why when I ask how it's going does he say he's just been playing games? Why does he want to be a developer if he doesn't want to be a developer??4
Soooo... Following my previous lengthy post ( https://devrant.com/rants/985618 ), I talked with that friend of a friend and explained her what I could offer her. It turns out she's being funded, so she needs to have a receipt... What really amazes me is that she knew from the start that I can't freelance for now (the taxes are very high and the legislation requires payment even during periods of no work). Oh well, back to my personal projects... 😖
Code/development introduced me to one of the best developers I know. I knew who he was before college, but it was the college group projects and also classes that really helped get to know him and learn from him. After college we are still pretty good friends
Stupid project ideas pitched at me?
Well, basically everything my friends ever mentioned.
NO I don't wanna help you do shady things... and as soon as someone drops the word hacking I route the whole conversation to my inner /dev/null2
//Met an old friend
So I heard you're a programmer now. I need some help from you.
*write something on paper
HACK this fb account unless you are a big fat phony.6
Started learning Python yesterday and with the help of the mighty internet I wrote a script that tells me how many lines of Java code I have written in a project. Just 9 lines of python and it works like a charm. Was so excited that I tried to tell my non Dev friends about it, but they where like "yeah, what ever"... I am always kinda sad that so many people aren't interested in programming, not even a tiny bit :/
But anyways... Python my love, where have you been all my life?2
I have an interview for a Mobile Dev Trainee position with me classmates. I'm a web guy. I have no idea what has been going on with mobile dev while I was away. But this is opportunity. Halp! What to do to not screw it up? I understand the concept of making API calls somehow. Maybe, that would halp?1
Why do devs automatically become the ones who can apperantly repair not working printers? Seriously, a friend of mine wrote to me today like I can actually do something without seeing it first. I'm not saying I can't do something about them but I don't want to because it takes time, and I would have to see it irl, it's so fucking annoying.6
I guess ill wait until you ignore all my warnings and find out for yourself. But i am the one you keep asking questions about technology to so why do you have all the answers prepared? Why ask me?
So i just keep saying, try it. Try it your way and let me know how it goes.
My two best friends has been the most influential mentors I've ever had. One is a compiler engineer at a major computing company and the other one is a security engineer at a major company in Japan.
Both have sat down and taken the time to not only teach me different aspects of the computing environment, but empowered me to learn more on my own. One project I was working on ended up tapping into both of their teachings. I took a moment to think back on when they were teaching me and felt so grateful to have such patient teachers.
The moral here is that not everyone knows what you do. What makes a good teacher is someone who takes the time to teach and empower the individual. It really goes a long way.
Everytime I learn something, I start to learn something new, and I forget what I just learned. I'm tired of readin docs...3
I'm going to my friend's house to download some stuffs for deepin. I thought his internet is faster than mine.
What I get is 😡😡😡
Note:- I did not abused him bcoz he gave me 500gb hard disk.1
I got a friend in the older class. He has C++ classes now. I’m constantly helping him, even though I don’t know C++ much 😂1
I have a CS undergrad friend who is not learning anything outside of uni and in my country, that will automatically kill your career. I am trying to get him to start coding and learning new languages and frameworks, and do projects, but he has a full time job as a cashier and doesn’t have the time. But i know if I get him to do these things he could probably find a part time dev job that pays just as much. How can you help a complete rookie become a dev in the least amount of time and effort ?3
I feel like I'm making friends here but then sometimes its like gaps of hours without activity ... 🤔 ... Then ... I realize I have been lurking along too much and make some posts and comments and there it is! 🤗🔥
Thank you for that :/ us devs need eachother
He you all, I'm in London between 27th and the 30th of July. Wanna meet up, grap some coffee, just chill and talk some code?
Hit me up below!!2
Telling my non-coding friends I'm working on a cool personal project that I'm really passionate about:
Friend "Oh yeah sounds good.. That's, eh, nice, (Tension is building) ..LISTEN I HAVE THIS IDEA, maybe we can work something out? (Looking at me like they have invented the light bulb)
Sooooooo just got into Discorddd looking for groups and friends? Mostly devs and dev groups and meme groups about devs lol.. any options out there? All is appreciated. Lol4
How meta would it be to create a computer in minecraft, and program it to run minecraft?
I think it's theoretically possible(?) If u got the patience, which you would need loads of.6
when someone suggest you a project idea out of their genius mind,
and the story is either it's impossible or there are tons of implementations.
you'll be like " you are so naive, you don't know anything", but you can't say that because you wanna make friends.
I’ve seen so many rants on here about people wanting things for free for whatever reason.
While devrant is great, I think this is the best rant on the subject ever.
"We would really prefer it if you didn't attempt to print time zone offset with your DateTime values (because that functionality is utterly borked and prints nonsense)."
From documentation of .Net DateTime.
Coworkers and I go out and do some golfing or batting cage every now and then.
Old friends from school and I talk randomly. On Facebook.
Most of my social life is twitch5
Offer to build a website for free for you friend "Fooius Barius." After showing it to them immediately buy "fooiusbarius.com"
Is there a way to tell your family/friends what kinda work you are doing without boring the shit outta them ?3
I thought you had to be great in the computer fields before your friends started asking to make their idea games. Just happened to me this morning.
Friend: Hey let's make an MMORPG!
Me: Bro that would take years...
F: Hmmm... fine then just an RPG.
M: *in my head* cuz that really changes things, it's still an RPG...
M: Lemme hear your idea
F: *proceeds to describe Fallout /but better/
F: And I'm willing to learn game design an hour or two a day
Idk how to make him realize that it takes money, time and more than two people!!
Bruh, just learn them how a computer works with minecraft. Inverters, And, Nand, etc... can all b made there. From there, u can make flip-flops, u can make registers, adders, multiplexors, demuxs. Ofc makin anything more then a 1-bit, maybe 2-bit machine, would be a pain, and dont get me starting on memory that extends one register. But hey, if u got the patience, u can ofc. Put it together to an ALU, combin all of them with a PC to an CPU. Ofc, you got no ROM or RAM, but hey, atleast u've built the hard part.4
Doesn't want to use VCS and wants to deliver a project to client.
Note to self: Don't help friends in their misadventures
Everyone has Allo, but here in Germany it isn't yet available. Does anybody know when I can talk to Allo so I have a friend? :P5