CVs be like:

"Voluntarily worked as a tech consultant in impoverished communities to promote social mobility and empowerment through the implementation of a specialized computer science learning program and interactive software handling sessions."

Translation: helped my parents attaching word docs to their emails.

If you don't know how to explain about your software, but you want to be featured in Forbes (or other shitty sites) as quickly as possible, copy this:

I am proud that this software used high-tech technology and algorithms such as blockchain, AI (artificial intelligence), ANN (Artificial Neural Network), ML (machine learning), GAN (Generative Adversarial Network), CNN (Convolutional Neural Network), RNN (Recurrent Neural Network), DNN (Deep Neural Network), TA (text analysis), Adversarial Training, Sentiment Analysis, Entity Analysis, Syntatic Analysis, Entity Sentiment Analysis, Factor Analysis, SSML (Speech Synthesis Markup Language), SMT (Statistical Machine Translation), RBMT (Rule Based Machine Translation), Knowledge Discovery System, Decision Support System, Computational Intelligence, Fuzzy Logic, GA (Genetic Algorithm), EA (Evolutinary Algorithm), and CNTK (Computational Network Toolkit).

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

The genius design of “Techno-city”, now defunct tech retailer.

By merely rearranging letters of the brand name, designers created a whole narrative. The flexibility of Russian language allows that.

Translation:
They aren't Sith
Techno-city
Shadows of their cells
There are hundreds of them
They bring networks
This packet carries them
Carry the next big thing

Job review time,
(just a random pick from the a list).
---
"Engineering Lead"
Translation: "Chief Calculator Officer"

"Anyone can design or spec a product, get it manufactured overseas and get it to market. But will it be good? Will people buy it?"
Translation: "We're looking for a miracle"

"Take on a top notch team that is going places in Electronics, R&D and advanced product development."
Translation: "Professional Excel engineer wanted"

"This company is a little-known success story that has been operating for over X years, making mission-critical electronic equipment for use by consumers, professionals, government and industry."
Translation: "Design weapons and tamagotchis."

"Working as part of the Senior Leadership team, you will have charge of the I.P. engine and product development team spinning up new ideas and throwing them out the door."
Translation: "You're success is our success. Your failure is your failure."

"The Role
- Generate New Ideas
- Push for new products
- Drive manufacturing
- Manage a cross disciplinary team that includes Electronics, Software and Mechanical
- Project Manage new projects to completion
- Interact with marketing and sales to drive results"
Translation: "We've never hired one person to be a whole team before but we think it will work."

"On your first day, we expect:
- Strong Leadership experience and skills
- Solid Engineering Fundamentals
- Experience taking new and existing products to market
- Experience with manufacturing high-tech, mission critical equipment
- Commercial Acumen
- Bachelors in Electrical or Electronic Engineering"
Translation: "We expect you know where to hide the drugs already."

"Nice to have:
- Experience with Defense or Medical Systems
- R&D background
- MBA, B. Commerce or similar"
Translation: "By clicking on this job ad your background check is already under way."

"In return:
- A loyal and oustanding team will be there to support you
- Extremely knowledgeable experts to guide you
- Incredibly smart founders to mentor you
- The opportunity to work on a real product
- Extremely generous salary package"
Translation: "Our last dev has removed the Warrant Canary. Can you pleeease put it back?!"

Anyone else ever not feel like explaining something technical to someone in a different non-technical department or position, so you use a lot of techy terms and make it sound really confusing so you can move on with your life?

Holy fucking crap, think I actually got some productive, positive output from this whole generative AI debacle.
Rather because I skipped the whole Prompt step and used FOMO blabber against itself.

Some context: at my last gig we had a whole "humanware procurement department" (A.K.A. "hiring managers", those fucks who think that javascript and java are the same thing). It was during the pandemic tech hiring boom. At this new joint I'm at, a MUCH smaller company, I gotta do it myself. Boring as fuck but at least I can get some good karma by not making an ass of myself for candidates, and trying to make this whole process a tad less abusive.
I got my reading up to date, and surprisingly enough, "yankee dandy" (HBR) has actually been saying one or two things that are not complete hogwash. For a start, they say that companies have been making their hiring processes overly complex and even after hours of interviews they hardly measure half the skills they actually need, and spend too long talking about many skills that are not actually required for the positions.
"Huh. That sounds like the inneficiencies that the stupid 'AI will make meetings more efficient' industry is overpromising to overturn"

So I tried a new thing. Instead of your off-the-shelf "solve this NP-Hard problem in O(1) then draw this bird using only your nose then invert a binary tree in COBOL then tell me what type of sitcom character are you" crap, I tried grasping how it would be like to work with the candidates. One at a time. Not too long, but not too short talks. I'm not trying to check if a kid really knows how to implement a solution for the TSP in apache spark, or if they know every cipher in TLS 1.3. I just want to know if they can understand a technical request and come to me with a plan on how to solve it without handholding or "just use a really big VM, like, 32Tb of RAM!"
Thus, if I can work with them. That's all. The rest are specific skills that can be trained in time, if the person is willing to learn new stuff.
But that is not good enough for HR, ooooh, no. You "need" an "objective way of measuring their skills", otherwise its "just biased opinions."

But that gave me an idea.
See, our HR VP is someone deep in the whole AI pyramid scheme, who drank the kool-aid and swallowed up even the cup. FOMO is their name. Hype is their business.
I posh'd up my bullshit'ish jargon and went whole "In the advent of new disruptive technologies, strategic skills can be acquired with grit and proper AI prompting. Thus, leveraging our collaborative intelligence capabilities we can hack our challenges and optimize our resources to offer more innovative opportunities and bolster our employer branding" - translation: "shut up and lemme hire someone good and reasonably priced instead of a sleazy smooth talker who wants 100M just to show up and play with chatgpt all day". The whole point is to make it sound like "we're using AI, so it's good" instead of "im doing the work I'm being paid for, so it's old-fashioned"

It seems like the HR troll swallowed it, bait and hook. Maybe all we really needed this whole time is to say the magic word "AI," especially if it makes absolutely no sense in the context. Now I want to get them to sign off on a "AI mindfulness bolstering platform" (a massage chair). Fingers crossed.