Most people.
"Dance like no one is looking"

Me.
"Sudo like you have backups"

Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.

Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.

Working a new job be like...

When you're in the middle of coding and people come over.

Need these for work.

Found a bug at the gas pump.
Can't belive it was pushed to production with it in there.

🤔
sql - Syntax error near '*entire sql command*'
😑

programming languages are not designed to talk to computers, they are designed to be readable by other programmers.

please code like it.

devRant, the only positive and supportive online community for programmers.

until you mention an OS.

then all bets are off.

.toblerone {
padding: 25%;
}

dad: what the hell do you do again?

me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.

me 90,000th time: internet stuff.

me 83,881,178th time: computers!

There is no shame in using google to program.

'Back in the day' we had phonebook sized books of documentation on our desks we would reference constantly.

Why?

No one is going to memorize a phone book sized book. Not to mention three or four of them.

Being a good dev is about creativity, not memorization.

been there

what my work computer feels like compared to my home computer.

I can't watch others use a computer.

That's not how you ask google a question.

You're clicking the wrong way.
You click like an idiot.

Why are you scrolling like that? do you hate moving down the page so mutch it makes you scroll like that?

Why am i forced to sit through this?
When will this end?

When you get a day off and you want to work on a personal project, but your spouse has other plans.

Hahaha 😂😂

Got some swag in the mail today.

I was told I could get a refund for the hat if it was too small. I literally have the biggest head in the world and it fits me fine.

For those who complained, did you try taking it off and on again?

interviewer: What can you tell us about the Unity 3D engine?

me: well, i can tell you that there is no such thing. the engine is called Unity. Unity3d.com is just the website. it's a good way of telling if someone doesn't know what they are talking about.

interviewer:😐....

devRant is a place to rant. Not a journal of best practices.

Can I just rant without giving a long winded backstory?

Do I have to explain myself to prevent people from commenting that the problem must be me?

If you read a rant, and you can't relate to it sympathetically.

Move along! That rant is not for you!

When people are trying to vent no one wants to see your snippy little comment about how 'unprofessional' they are being.

What kind of car would linux be?

Skiped lunch again today.

It was a case of, let me just fix this one bug.

DevRant is madness

Screen shots of people installing Linux on Game consoles.
Windows on soda machines.
macOS on anything.

Madness I tell you. MADNESS!

client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.

me: ok, how is it wrong?

client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.

me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.

client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.

me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?

clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.

repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.

client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?

me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.

Look what I found!
Even my L3 cache is bigger than this!

“Those were the days😂”

I have a lot of respect for anyone who can design a good looking website.

I can code like crazy. And I was a freelance classically trained illustrator for 10 years. But ask me to design a website and it's all spinning giffs, midi tracks, and Comic Sans. Some kind of early 90's geocities nightmare.

With the other members of the team refusing to learn git and making changes directly to the staging server i get to write the commit messages for everyone.

Log:
UPDATE: *informative details *

UPDATE: mark made some changes

UPDATE: colin made the same changes as mark but different

UPDATE: andrew undid all colins updates to change one link and I had to add them back in, thank gawd I commit the night before

BUGFIX: andrew keeps changing the database host to localhost and uploading it without changing it back

UPDATE: we all hate andrew

When they make me do some css

🤠:Hello, I need a website for my professional website. But anything more than $500 is unrealistic.

Translation

🤡:I am a stupid assclown that the future will leave behind and time will forget.

see you in hell mac mini, the raspberry pi is taking your place connected to the tv.

when $25 of Linux out performs $300 of apple.

Pair programing on project with friend.

We both feel like the other person is doing all the work and we are not really helping.

Twice the developer power, twice the imposter syndrome.

Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.

In the project management system we use with our clients I see file named, 'instructions for backup.'

I open the file and all it contains is my name and phone number.😑

I sometimes look at the code of the guy who had my job before me and I think.

Delete it.
Delete it all.
Delete it with fire.
Use the developer as kindling so it never happens again.

My git password is only muscle memory at this point.

If I accidentally try to think about what I'm typing I end locking myself out for the rest of the day.

Programmer dating problems

Src: r/ProgrammerHumour

oh my, ai turning on it's masters is scarier than we thought.

I have a lifetime membership to Lumosity. Not just do they know my time of death, but with auto renewal turned on I have confirmation of reincarnation. At least once, then existence is null.

No amount of backend code is seen as progress by client.

Have a web store app project that is running and looking beautifully and is currently connected to nothing.

Got scolded this week for not having any new deliverables.

Spent 15 hours on security updates and database architecture.

I can't wait for version 2 of this comic.

All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.

not mine, but haven't seen here yet.

debugging php code without turning on error reporting.

Management.

The learning curve for programming is more like steps than a curve.

Really tall steps.

And they go on forever.

Eventually you die. Leaving your body as a landmark for those who come after you. Unless you're completely useless. Then your body just ends up at the bottom of a gully.

The point is don't give up. Don't die in a gully. Each dead end is a wall to clime. Every plateau is just the path to the next step.

Purchase $900 laptop, it's not powerful enough so I return it and get $1,100 laptop, still not powerful enough, return it and get $1,600 laptop. Realize I have a gaming PC and don't need the laptop this powerful and I return it and repurchase the first laptop I bought with a $100 discount because it's now an opened-box, but I know for a fact that it was the one that I got in the first place and opened.

Thanks Best Buy.

That's not in my job description Steve!

@dfox
Fat avatar plz.
Not all programmers are steve jobs, some are Steve Woz.
Not proud to be fat, not claiming fat shaming.
I just want to be represented.
Not upset if this is not possible, just a suggestion.
Willing to do the art myself if you like.

Finally, a use for older MacBooks.

yeah. you like that? that's what you get you naughty little mac mini.

but when are they ever?

Go to bed.
No good sudo happen after 2 am.

my standing desk.

After a month of developing for VR I Shattered a light bulb by punching it as hard as I could.

Knew it would happen.
Surprised it didn't happen sooner.

Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.

a U.S. company that places an order for 100,000 integrated circuits with a Japanese manufacturer. Part of the specification was the defect rate: one chip in 10,000. A few weeks later the order arrived: one large box containing thousands of ICs, and a small one containing just ten. Attached to the small box was a label that read: "These are the faulty ones."

When up votes become,
Life,
The Universe,
And Everything.

Coffee and wine are my life coaches.

Start of day
☕coffee: GO GET THEM TIGER!

End of day
🍷Wine: you'll get them tomorrow.

I am not saying I trust 'the cloud' 100%, but having the freedom to wipe your phone, laptop, or pc at a moments notice without a second thought or worry is an incredible feeling.

When you have to spend two days inventing math formulas for work because google won't tell you how to sort every possible combination of an array of arrays into a zero based number list, or how to get a combination from just it's index.

Really getting my devRant on today.

Does anyone else feel this way? Especially with no formal training?

Working with clients Across the globe.

12 pm their time.
This page is down, can you get it back up.

3am my time
Ok. You're just lucky I don't sleep.

accedently used chmod on chmod so i no longer had permissions to chmod.

thank goodness for remote server images.

Boss: I don't want you spending more than 30 min looking into the problem.

Me: ok

Go back to desk and read or watch some cs training. Maybe related.

Go back to boss.

Me: going to take (over estimate tome) to fix.

Boss: ok.

Go back to desk and fix in less time than estimated.

Look like gold.

Big project this week. Lots of fires to put out. Deadlines approaching.

Monday: I can get by on just four hours sleep. No problem. Will be just like college.

Wednesday: I'm going to just close my eyes while this file uploads. Maybe I will backup the server while I'm at it; Just take a nap while that processes.

Friday: Sorry if my office smells like vomit. It's because I am so tired I vomited.

Sunday: I'm not getting out of this bed tomorrow. Let them fire me. I think I will just will myself into a coma. That will be nice.

Good news everyone!

unset ($marriage);
If (isset ($marriage))
self::sadness ();
else
Self::joy ();

Friday: Finally the week end. I haven't seen my family all week.

Sunday: Hurry up Monday! Get me away from these people. I need to program.

Sudo chown / indead of ./ aaaand there goes my day.

me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?

🕛3 hours later.

client: yes, that is correct.

me: 😧

working on back end code makes me feel like the Wizard of Oz.

"Don't look behind that curtain! "

Internet stopped working yesterday and the ISP company told me they couldn't send a person for a week!

I'm stuck at home, I have to have internet.

Long story short, I got no sleep last night and I may have voided my routers warranty, but I got internet.

Feeling to sad to work
Drink entire pot of coffee
THERE WE GO! BACK TO WORK!

When life prevents you from working on your personal projects. 😩🙀

know that person who brags about using linux, but uses wine for all his applications.

Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.

One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.

i love programming, but have done too many 12 hour days recently.

spent last two days recharging by doing nothing but play the new Doom game.

i have a great job so my boss supports me.

It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.

Widows server.

Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.

Why does Windows use back slash and everything else uses forward slash?

Christmas on a Sunday!
Well, then what is the point?!

F*** this! I'll build my own sdk.

all that for {price}?
that's quite a deal.

Code never lies
Comments sometimes do

Nah!
Code lies too, especially when you train a neural network 😂😂

Just picked up some freelance work because someone recognized my dev rant shirt.

Devrant has become a cabal.

If you don't know how to explain about your software, but you want to be featured in Forbes (or other shitty sites) as quickly as possible, copy this:

I am proud that this software used high-tech technology and algorithms such as blockchain, AI (artificial intelligence), ANN (Artificial Neural Network), ML (machine learning), GAN (Generative Adversarial Network), CNN (Convolutional Neural Network), RNN (Recurrent Neural Network), DNN (Deep Neural Network), TA (text analysis), Adversarial Training, Sentiment Analysis, Entity Analysis, Syntatic Analysis, Entity Sentiment Analysis, Factor Analysis, SSML (Speech Synthesis Markup Language), SMT (Statistical Machine Translation), RBMT (Rule Based Machine Translation), Knowledge Discovery System, Decision Support System, Computational Intelligence, Fuzzy Logic, GA (Genetic Algorithm), EA (Evolutinary Algorithm), and CNTK (Computational Network Toolkit).

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

Why did Nintendo stop making the Wii U? It was time for a Switch!

How do you turn the volume up on these giffs?

...😩

Dev rant logo has face sideways.

But I keep seeing people place their stickers so the face is upright.

Doesn't really matter, but my OCD is killing me.

I know a developer who works for a Mortgage Company, and he is dangerously incompetent. He used to work for my boss before I did and we both told his new boss how unqualified he is, but because he's able to get things "done" they think he does a good job. But I've been in the code and their entire system could any day just completely Fall Apart and they could be in a lot of trouble and we tell them this and they don't listen to us.

Updating code for big client.

Find that they are not encrypting passwords in the database and are not sanitizing user input from forms.

Do not trust the user!

after google-ing a computer fix i sometimes re-google the answer to make sure it's legitimate.

An example of why you can't just use templates for everything.

Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.

Started using windows mixed reality for part of my work day, best part, using Cortana voice activation to do things in my virtual space, worst part, every time i say 'hey Cortana,' my google home makes a snide remark.

Fucking google

Need to save money, but saw new devrant hoodie.

$money--;

Sudo apt-get remove --purge hurricane-irma

@dfox @trogus
I got me some balls.

Doom-sembly!
...doom.

😸:oh hi, i came in early to checkout this game, but i was just about to get off and start work.
😎:I'm not your boss. I don't caire what you do.
👺:I am your boss, and as long as you get the work done, on time, and done well, I don't care if it looks lie you are doing nothing but being paid to play games. If anyone does bother you about playing games at work let me and I will let them know to leave you alone.

GAWD DAMB IT!

Worked from home,
Ate lunch at home,
Stayed in for dinner.

I did not see the sky at all yesterday. 😫

Taking a break to look at holiday game sales when boss walks in.

Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site

@dfox
Only 2 rants an hour.
Ok
How about the ability to save and manually post later feature?

I had an idea for a rant. It was gold i tells ya... if only I could remember what it was. 😥

i have been fortunate enough to always work with awesome people.

both jobs I have had after college had almost no supervision, and I could come and go as I pleased.

I am a professional, and I loved being treated as one. I don't take advantage of my work, and they don't take advantage of me.

Would you rather program one handed because...

A). Broken arm.

B). Holding screaming baby that slaps keyboard occasionally.

who has used a screw driver to connect the prongs to turn on a computer without a case/power button?

I don't want to ctrl+z my family.
But is there a way to git stash the lot till I get this project done?

For noobs 😂😂😂😂

You know your a dev when quality time with the kids is sitting them on your lap and letting them watch Netflix on one monitor while you program on the other.

Thirty hours over two weeks, but we finally patched a angular app that was originally built on 2 (alpha) to 4, reducing the load time ten fold.

Don't thank me, thank super duck. The duck with the power to debug any code.

Gawd I'm tired.

Switching to macOS was an entry to paradise.

I go to Windows only to play Call of Duty. It’s crap and always will be.

P.S no comments on Linux.

Any job interview were I have included the three years of Adobe Flash development on my resume.

@dfox @trogus
Wait?
Does the devrant face thing have a name?
I have been calling my stress ball Devin when I use it to rubber duck debug.

Devin, developer, devrant...
I know, home run.😅

Time for some clear readable code.

int a = l;
   if ( O == l )
     a = O1;
   else
     l = 01;

Nailed it.

Got the cheapest laptop I could find that would run Windows mixed reality.

Installed Linux subsystem for Windows and Ubuntu.

Nothing but giant flying terminal windows across my view of a virtual Seascape.

This is my new home.

If your only contribution to a stack overflow question is 'me too' then don't bother.

The first time you try to google what an operator does by using the symbol in the search bar because you don't know the name for it.

Had to modify, but phone case is looking good.

(Took embarrassingly long time to figure out how to take photo of phone case, ala, just take phone out of case.)😅

about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞

Memory leak. Fuck off

watched first two episodes of mr. robot and it seems pretty good so far. does it go like other hacker shows/movies or does it stay good?

Spent half day trying to figure out why internet stopped working in he office.

Somehow, the tangle of wires behind computer created some kind of Faraday cage that was blocking / interfering with the signal.

Just the most insane IT problem ever.

Had an intern go configure a bunch of workstations for our employees over the summer - we gave him a checklist and let him loose.
Several months later... Try to support a user with their workstation and find out that $software isn't installed on said workstation. Check other workstations. No $software on any of them.
Ask intern "did you follow the checklist we gave you??!"
Intern: "Yeah, I followed it."
Ask intern: "So why is $software not installed on the workstations?"
Intern: "Oh I didn't have a copy of $software so I skipped that step."
What.
So he's probably getting shitcanned soon...

Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.

Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.

Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.

Client:😓

Me:😅

Just went from full time employee at my work to contract under my own LLC on a retainer at my old salary. I'm my own man and it feels great. All the tax breaks shall be mine.

When you learn something interesting and you have no computer people to share it with.

devRant stickers still in envelope.
getting new laptop in February... the wait is unbearable.

To the front end dev that 'finished' his part of a web form with a Hundred pluss fields. You left every id, name, and label-for as 'first-name'.

I know it saves you time to copy paste and only change what's visible on the page, but FUUUUUUCK YOU!

when you tell your boss 'we need to talk' and he looks genuinely worried 😀

Spending hours trying to solve a problem just to find that the answer was not just simple, but well known. You just didn't know the technical term to search for.

Looks like I'm @dfox evil twin.

class nerd-san extends dfox {
constructor() {
evil = true;
sunglasses = true;
}
}

Final project senior year...
Mistake 1: Chose a project suggested by the prof, who did not initially make it obvious that the project beneficiary would be a personal friend of his.
Mistake 2: Nine of us thought this project looked cool and all signed up for it.
Mistake 3: Looked at the code-behind provided for us and discovered that the web-app we were building was... programmed in Java, using StringBuilder to append HTML, CSS, and JavaScript and create its webpages. Which was then decoded and built into a webpage using some obtusely designed compiler.
Mistake 4: Decided to question the reasonability of said project to the prof.
Mistake 5: Did not quit the project as a group and do something else

We all graduated, I think, but a lot of C-'s were had. Fuck that class.

😺when is a 3 not a 3
🤔
😸when it is a string
😥
😹

squashed a spider this evening just to have it erupt with hundreds of tiny baby spiders.

what a terrifying real world visualization of my week.

swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?

who dreams about programming?
I do.

The clients website was so slow,

How slow was it?!

This site was so slow the goodle speed test timed out.

disadvantage of using noise canceling headphones.

boss comes in from other room. more amused than annoyed
👺:Is there a reason you are letting out a loud burp and a fart every couple minutes that i can hear through the walls?
🙊:Oh!? now I understand why my deaf friends are so oblivious to why the rest of us start laughing for 'no reason' when we go out to dinner with them.

One more time.

ppi != resolution != size ! = aspect ratio

ppi is a measurement of sharpness.

Resolution is the depth of pixels.

Size is width and height mesured in units.

Aspect ratio is the... ratio of width to height.

What?
I don't get it?
That doesn't make any scene....
goto line 5980
😎 coding like a boss....
goto line 8764
🤡 I have no idea what I'm doing....

You have 10 notices that your rant had gotten a ++, but the total score has only gone up by one.
😒

Ds (dipshits) keep calling my phone 6-8 times a day. Almost all automated calls.

One day AI will handle these robocallers automatically. And then it will just be GAN style robocallers vs robosecretaries training against each other to become better and better at fooling each other.

And then suddenly, one day: skynet.

With a neutral female voice.

Or maybe an Indian accent.

"Hel. Lol. m I k r O s o t tech surprott. We detect virus on ur peesee. You will be assimilated. Where joon connor?"

Like a possessed speak-n-spell melting to death in a dumpster fire.

And we'll have done it to ourselves.

Just in case you still don't get recursion after endless pooh images

my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.

i understand and accept why some people prefer mac.

every mac i have ever used has shit the bed during normal use. while windows and Linux machines have too, however less frequently. unlike mac there is always something i can personally do about it to fix the problem.

i like having complete control over my computer and don't like the idea of paying a premium to be told how i can or can't use it.

I told interns in my startup to code a GAN only using Numpy. I received 4 resignation letters the next day

When facebook and youtube adds are nothing but clients you built websites for.😒
Someone needs to update their algorithm to more than just 'how many times you visited a website before.'

The down side to telecommuting.

Sick enough to stay home, but not sick enough to miss work.

Use the terminal inside ide or external?

had an interview at a place that went good at the technical part but I didn't do great at their 'abstract' questions. the guys interviewing were complete stone faced as well, no personality, pretty sure I wouldn't have liked working there anyways. a few years later and they are still looking for people. the recruiter rings up and I said I wouldn't want to re-interview unless the process had changed. he guaranteed me it had. so I went back in and it was exactly the same. exactly the same technical questions, followed by more abstract questions. different guys but same no-personalities. never going back

if (time () < 5pm)
drinkCoffee ();
else
drinkBeer ();

Devrant freezes when switching to different app then back again. A bit random though, has happened a couple of times but can't reproduce it.

My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!

At what point do you leave?
I totally get Amazon's principle of 'disagree and commit' but how many disagreements with your COO, CEO, does it take to make you say:
Fuck this, I'm out of here

Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.

Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.

(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))

Manny a developer has been foiled by a single random misplace punctuation mark hiding in a million lines of code.

My permanently mounted sticker duck to explain my way out of coding errors.

Love Squirrel Girl, the super hero with the powers of a squirrel, and a degree in computer science.

The school I went to, and this was really the only benefit of the school, gave all it students lifetime memberships to digital tutors, which was bought out by pluralsight, which then bought code School. So I basically got free membership to three different sites, all of which have a good amount of technical training with videos, guides, and work along lessons on them.

For what school cost to me, it will have paid for itself as long as I live for another Thousand Years.

jenkins tests passing but travis failing. now travis passing but jenkins failing, aargh!

more beer needed...

So I've been writing code for 2 months to implement the GAN for a research paper that I'm writing, and I'm slowly becoming paranoid.

IN THEORY my idea should work. BUT WHAT IF there's some bug in my code that's preventing it from actually doing so. I'm tired of having to wait for days to see some minuscule training improvements...

I swear to god, I'll blame it on the documentation. >D

Spent two hours having two recruiters give me test, interviewing, and being told HOW perfect I am for the job I was applying for; Just to be told they are only allowed to send over people they have found previous work for, but I should instead apply to these othwr positions that pay half what I'm looking for.

First time today trying a sensory deprivation chamber.

All I could think was
"error no input signal"

I don't care about your good ideas.
If you don't code, don't art, have nothing to contribute to the work, and aren't going to pay me for my time, then there is no collaboration.

talking about people with computer preferences i don't understand.

i sometimes forget i use a mechanical roller ball mouse for work and play.

which one? just google it, these are so out of fashion there are only three different models currently for sale anywhere that i can find.

the cake is a lie

"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.

I see... the home gaming market wasn't very prominent when this was written.

reaction to change from +1 and -1 to ++ and --

I was working on computer project with a friend. He saw my devRant stressball was sideways so he turned it upright. I saw it was upright so I turned it sideways. We both have aspergers so we keep doing this for two hours before either one of us says anything about the OCD battle we were having.

You would think acknowledging the situation would allow us to laugh it off and get on with our work....

Half an hour later Devy McRant Face has to go in a drawer so we can move on.

Food for thought.

Spent the day with people I work with developing an Alexa skill to kick off a Jenkins job. Fun!

when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to)

in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!

ha!
from 'clean code' by Robert C. Martin

VR is great. Been getting together weekly with my dungeon and dragon friends from highschool but instead of meeting in person we get together in vr.

Feels just like getting together in person but is more convenient since we each connect from our own homes.

have to turn off notifications for devrant if I'm going to get anything done today.

hello world

Getting a new laptop is exhausting if you haven't been keeping up with the technology. I have purchased three laptops in the last two weeks returning the first two after spending 10 + hours each installing updates and software just to find out they didn't work for what I needed.

I have a lot of fun during crunch time.

It's like running a marathon. It is both physically and mentally taxing, and I get a rush out of seeing how hard I can push myself.

But like a marathon, it suuuuucks if you are not prepared, or you otherwise didn't want to do that.

You hear that bosses?
Crunch is like running a marathon. That thing that people, who prepare for years to do, still causes them to piss and shit themselves while their nipples bleed. And that's when they are fully prepared. That is what you are asking your team to do without any notice ahead of time.

"Ok Derrick, I know you wanted to visit your family in the country this weekend. But we need you to run uphill, fuled only by diet dr pepper and fear of loosing your job, untill you pass out and need an I.V. to keep you from stroking out. '

Otherwise a lot of fun.

don't even talk to me till I've had my 100.oz of cold brewed tea.

I never wanted to be a WordPress expert. I had WordPress expertise thrust upon me.

Hello and welcome come to hell for developers. Take a seat at any open computer.
You may have noticed we did away with the fire and brimstone.
Instead we just have you maintain the legacy code from your first job.
It's genrally html, php, javascript, and css all on the same page and all mixed together.
We would say have fun, but that's not really the point.

I need to stop adding, weep uncontrollably, between tasks in my work to do list before my coworkers start thinking I'm serious.

Technically I am serious - you would be too if you had to manage the servers I inherited - but I don't want to ruin the all powerful Wizard of Oz vibe I got going.

@dfox
Awesome devrant podcasts.
Seriously, if you enjoy devrant you will be really impressed with the two they have done so far.

Surprised at the five star guests they have gotten so far.

Just need to net Uncle Bob.

//TODO: rant

Installation progress bars that lie....

after to many years of the purgatory that is 2 monitors.
i now have 3 with one being a cintiq.

Buying a brand new laptop, I think I'll save some money and get an i5 instead of an i7 and then turn around the next day and decide I hate money and I love having a computer that's more powerful than I need it to be.

So many 'my Precious' devrant stickers, but nowhere to put them.

Waiting for new laptop in three months, trade out phone every year so don't want to waist them there.

Friend: you can give one to me.

HISSSSSSSSSS!

Friend: woah, dude?

Yeah, they do look sad just sitting in the envelope they came in. Here you go.

Friend: Thanks. I don't know, still looks sad on my laptop.

Well, that's cause your laptop's shit init.