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Search - "why don’t you die"
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Story time.
Not sure it counts as data loss, more temporary corruption (and in my own brain).
> be me.
> be clinically depressed
> be recently out of an awful breakup
> recently nearly committed suicide by train
> be bored and lonely one night
> take lsd
> feel fine
> go to McDonald’s
> feel fine
> while eating question the nature of reality
> become convinced I’m an observer of a cosmic story and cannot die
> go outside in only jeans
> run in traffic at 1AM to prove my point
> don’t die
> run around the streets more sure of my new reality than I’d ever been of anything
> feel free and no longer sad
> walk around observing the world
> sit on wall and wonder why the story had the structure I was observing
> fall off wall into grass and mud
> follow cute guy into apartment building
> follow into lift
> ask what everything means
> spend better part of couple hours in lift pressing emergency button asking for help
> get no response
> scare poor Russian lady that gets into lift and finds an overweight topless man on the floor babbling incoherently
> ride to top floor
> get out
> sit on leather chair in corridor
> feelsnice.tiff
> decide I’m actualising my desires and reality
> don’t realise this is just the trip wearing off and consciousness exerting more control
> walk into random apartment (door is unlocked because why wouldn’t it be for the god that I believe I am at this point)
> explore
> gorgeous apartment
> realise it’s a family apartment from clothes in hallway and items
> find bathroom
> decide I want a bubble bath
> run bubble bath
> can’t work out how to drain water. Bath now full of twigs and mud #sorry
> decide that I’d like to go home, or onto my next adventure. Hopefully the seaside as I’m now realising I have more control.
> open bathroom door
> not the seaside. Ah well. Try to walk home
> walk home wrapped in fluffy towel from nice family’s apartment
> get home
> realise what had happened
> throw remaining drugs away
> sit and rock in utter paranoia and guilt for hours until flatmate wakes up.
MFW first bad trip ever.
MFW I wonder whether that family knew I was there and were scared / discovered the mess in the bathroom the next morning and not knowing which is worse.
MFW I still have the towel because it’s fluffy AF.
The moral of the story kids, is that when it comes to the OS rattling around in your brain, installing a virus that is sensitive to what apps you have running is a bad idea when those apps make the virus go to fucking town.
Terrible analogy I know, but fuck it.29 -
If you are sick...
STAY THE FUCK HOME!
It has nothing to do with how YOU are feeling. It’s about RESPECT for those around you.
Especially if you work in an open office. Coming into an open office when sick is like coughing right on someone’s face repeatedly, it shows that same level of (lack of) respect.
Almost every company I have seen fucks this up so bad. It’s the same shit every year....
People are afraid to take days and stay home. They go in and make everyone sick, then everyone is taking days off and we are “short” on people. Then the incompetent CEO is scratching his head as to why this toxic work environment could produce such a toxic result.
And one more fucking thing.
If you got a cold/flu on Monday and your in the office on Wednesday because you are “feeling a bit better” then your a fucking idiot. At day 3 you are just starting to expel germs while still being highly contagious.
If you come into an open office while sick then I would say...
“Smarten the fuck up! And start showing some respect for the people you work with!”
If you have created (or are creating) a culture that encourages this then I would say...
“Fuck you! You should be fucking smarter than that.”
————
If your still sitting there thinking something like...
“Well I have to attend the meeting” or some other shit. Then let me add this to the pile.
Not everyone has had a rosy fucking life.
You may be working next to someone who has a lowered immune system due to past medical problems. What may be a week of sickness for you could end up being a month in the hospital for them.
You may be working next to a person who has a family member dying of cancer. If you make them sick then they can’t visit that family member (colds can kill cancer patients) and you may be stopping that person from seeing their loved ones one last time before they die.
Don’t be a fucking asshole.
STAY THE FUCK HOME!6 -
Fucking managers
Now I know why companies with shitty managers don’t grow
Me conversing with my senior as to how to make one of our functions scalable which around 10k devs would be using.
Manager walks in
Manager: how’s function x going
Me: great , will be done soon
Manager: you need to finish it by today
Me: can’t do it , too many sub functions need to be reconfigured( which was his job)
Manager: take *insert some managers asslicker’s name*’s help
Me: okay
We will finish it by today , but everybody know how “robust” the output will be
P.S. I didn’t argue because I’ve done that before and it’s like hitting your head on a wall. If you have read my previous rants, you would know1 -
!dev
Should I be myself? A tougher question than is seems.
I’ve had major struggles, faced and conquered death, travelled the world, and live with highly functioning Aspergers and much more. Not boasting, just laying the background info.
With all of this it has led me understand, on a fundamental level, difficult truths that most people only understand upon death (if ever at all).
These lessons have had an unspeakable positive impact on my life and the way I approach things.
The problem seems to be that many of these truths are non-transferable, and that the process of even mentioning them makes most people uncomfortable.
I understand though, that the best truths in life are ALWAYS uncomfortable, and that there is great value in this for those who choose to accept it.
But should I risk putting these views into the world in a recorded manner?
This is something I struggle with all the time.
Currently, I do not use social media often (devRant excluded) because it is a cancer. Even when FB came out in high school I knew (without having the words to express it) that it was dangerous and cancerous to real life.
But it is such a powerful tool that it cannot be ignored.
———
For example. I moved across the country without a job, away from everyone I ever knew, to pursue the goal of starting my own software businesses.
The responses I got to this included...
“Won’t you miss you family and friends?”
“Why don’t you save for a while and go then?”
“Why don’t you look for a job and leave when you get one?”
“Aren’t you afraid of being alone?”
Most these seem like legitimate questions, and because I cared about these people I treated them as legitimate.
But my real opinion is that every one of those questions is based on either weakness, fear or stupidity.
- Of course I will miss my family and friends, why try to guilt me into sacrificing life for this!
- Why not wait for “the right time”, because the right time never comes. That is an excuse for failures to continue failing.
- Why not wait to get a job? Because that won’t happen if your not there! It’s just a fact, get over it!
- You are alone! You can try to fill your life with people and crap but in the end you are born and die alone! I’ve been dead and know this like I know the sun will rise.
But you see all of that above, for most people that stuff hurts. It seems insensitive and cruel.
It hurts because it is true.
————
That’s just a small sample of things.
The larger question still stand...
Should I be myself?
I really don’t know the answer and don’t expect one to come. Maybe someday I will find a way to do this.
For now I will continue to be what people expect me to be.
———
To end this I am gonna quote the rapper Pusha T and his new album...
“Remember Will Smith won the first Grammy?”
“And they ain’t even recognize Hova until Annie”
“So I don’t tap dance for the crackers and sing Mammy”
Maybe some day I will be able to stop tap dancing...
Maybe
https://open.spotify.com/track/...7 -
@rutee07 is gone! Yaaaaaay!
Now, as I have your attention: on a serious note, your dick size-bragging, vulgar blabbering was fun for a moment, but this is what happens when you’re not truly being yourself. In real life, you’re a woman, I don’t know why you had to invent all that persona based on genitals you don’t have to pose as someone else. Without irony, I really liked when in your latest rants and comments your mask begun to slip, and you wasn’t afraid to show your true personality — complex, vulnerable, beautiful.
I forgive you. Perhaps, Rutee as a persona _should_ die, superceded by true you. I adore the gesture, and you will be missed.9 -
iPhone alarm clock suddenly stopped playing sounds this week (again), fortunately my wake up time is not critical.
After every major osx upgrade I feel that I need to restart macbook more and more often cause system suddenly hangs.
Yesterday I spotted that after each restart there is information that if system hangs on login screen for a while I should restart computer again ( well thanks for advice that I don’t have to wait till I die ).
Cursor randomly disappears after I connected microsoft usb mouse ( microsoft mouse eating cursor from apple windows ).
Why I use microsoft mouse you ask ? That’s the best thing microsoft made, it’s literally indestructible. I dropped and kicked that mouse hundred times, still works perfectly fine.
I think also somehow osx forced minor bug fix upgrade once without my permission so they’re slowly going the forgotten microsoft path that is always forcing updates you don’t want to install in this particular moment.
Because their engineers know better when and why I want to update.
Looks like Apple engineering is slowly degrading or QA care less about older hardware users.
I am not used to buy new shit when old works just fine, those shiny little things are my work tools not something I show around to impress people how cool I am.
That’s all disappointing but still better then windows experience cause didn’t reinstalled osx from scratch since almost 5 years and it’s working at the same speed like it was new ( not impressed linux users here but from my previous experience with windows “registry” that means something and this hardware already paid for itself).6