Skillsrust, actix-web, js, react, angular, html, sass, golang, rust, node, express, swift, ios, cocoatouch, mocha, jest, enzyme, and more...
Joined devRant on 2/25/2018
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Did you ever notice that the people playing music in public with a portable speaker always have the fucking worst taste I music?3
I see all these tools for the past few years claiming...
"build an app without writing code"
Great, if you want to build a prototype and then try to find a technical co-founder who can actually build something.
Otherwise, none of us need another shitty cookie-cutter app.
There is a 0% chance you can build anything that will scale without writing some code. Your best case scenario is you sell it to some sucker who doesn't understand that what they are buying is garbage.
I give those folks 3 options...
1. Find a technical co-founder
2. Learn to build software
3. Fuck off
Thinking you can build a software company without building actual quality software if fucking moronic.
Of course, that won't stop the thousands of business grads each year from trying and saying...
"I have such a great idea, I just need someone to build it"
Let's get things straight. You have nothing. NOTHING! You idea is worthless without execution.6
Interviewing a candidate for a dev position.
Interview is over and handshakes commence.
After the interview we have a debrief in a room that has hand sanitizer in it (just coincidence).
I squirt some and it comes out like a rocket ship; getting all over one of his resumes we printed. It looks like jizz...
One of the head guys walks in a says:
“I hope he didn’t hand you the resume like that.”
To which one of our ops people, let’s call her Sara, says...
“No, leanrob just REALLY likes his resume!!!”
> I almost fucking died from laughter3
If you want to talk about politics or religion at work, then you can expect a lot of disinterested nods and “sure”s from me before I leave the room.
I don’t care about your invisible man in the sky, I am here to do work. In fact, your invisible man in the sky can choke on my dick for all I care.
I don’t want to talk about to political cult. I’m here to work. Keep your sheep mentality to yourself.
I’m here to build fucking software, not to take on your insecurities and character flaws.4
A few interview tips from the other side of the table:
1. Bring a laptop
I mean come up man! Bring a laptop. Especially if there was some kind of project or challenge to present. I have seen so many people do a big UI design presentation and then come in like “can I use your laptop???”. Of course you can, but your looking very unprepared.
2. Ask for clarification
Communication problems happen in business every day. Different cultures and accents can cause issues. The important part isn’t wether you understand everything said but that you ask enough questions to make sure you eventually understand. Most people just wrongly assume things and start rambling.
3. Know what kind of company you and talking to
In my case, this is a startup. We aren’t IBM or Amazon or Google. We work hard and we play hard. Work life balance is important in life but if your very first question is “work/life balance???” then you played yourself. Wait a bit, pepper it in on the sly. Just don’t ask it right away, it shows us that you aren’t ready to work harder than usual if needed. Maybe try “so how do you like working here? How are the people, hours etc?” Or something besides the first question being a bad signal.
Just some random tips for an interviewer.
From me to you, don’t make me have to tell you like DJ Khalid would ...
Congratulations, you played yourself.23
Alright, this is a new one to me, and wow am I blown away.
Working on upgrading an API that I did not build. Getting things running well enough and then an endpoint (which runs well enough in the tests) returns a `418 I'm a teapot`
Yeah, you read that right "I'm a (motherfucking) teapot"
The description is that...
"refuses to make coffee because it is a teapot"
It was an April fools joke in the beginning.
I couldn't return that error if I tried!
This shit is bizarre.
For your reading pleasure:
Quality vs Opinion
I have a feeling that these things have always been at odds with each other and now with the constant connectedness it has just become more apparent that most people don’t understand the difference (or even realize there is a difference for that matter)
Let’s face it. Most people have awful taste. They listen to whatever new music their radio station decides was hot. They watch whatever show everyone else is watching. They are manipulated by large scale news organizations...
Basically, most people are sheep.
The problem is that sheep are a dangerous combination of loud and stupid. Giving these loud stupid sheep a platform to amplify their voice is a bad idea for a society, but a great tool for the pigs to manipulate them.
“Frightened though they were, some of the animals might possibly have protested, but at this moment the sheep set up their usual bleating of "Four legs good, two legs bad," which went on for several minutes and put an end to the discussion.”
This isn’t confined to one political party or view, it isn’t geographic, it isn’t based on education, it isn’t based on wether a person is ethical or not...
You can translate “four legs good, two legs bad” into Agent Orange and his followers chanting “lock her up” just as well as it could be translated into the angry leaders of the modern feminist movement.
In both cases (both on opposite ends of the ethical spectrum) you have the loudest dumb, angry sheep getting the even dumber sheep to chant along, wether it is good for them or not.
Now to loop this back. The problem is that dumb sheep are emotional. They truly believe that they are NOT dumb and that their opinions and emotions are a measure of quality.
I FEEL bad, and you are talking to me, so you must BE bad.
I don’t LIKE this amazingly well made movie, so it must BE bad.
And anyone else who has a different opinion is just wrong. Anyone who try’s to explain the merits of the other side is either my enemy or is stupid.
Their opinion, incorrect.
Now for the tough part...
Most likely, based on probability, you are a sheep.
Yes, you! The smartest person you know. The guy/girl who has a degree or masters of a PHD. The person who builds amazing software. You! Are. A. Sheep. And you are dangerous to the world.
To put a cherry on top.
No, you opinions are not important. Your feelings are fucking meaningless. Your morals are worthless. Your voice has as much value and a loose asshole fart from a fat guy trapped in a deep well in Siberia.
But don’t get down about this. It’s doesn’t make you any less of a person. Remember that almost every person who has ever lived in history has been a sheep. They have chanted one useless, dangerous, misguided, harmful chant after another through the ages.
To those of you who try not to be sheep. Just keep trying to get a little better every day. When someone says...
“We do it this way because we have always done it this way”
... be skeptics. Explore the merits and logic of the situation.
And if you are tired of being led by stupid sheep then save some money, build something cool and start your own business.
Just remember, you will always need the sheep. They will be your employees, your friends, your bosses, your investors etc.
Treat them well, don’t hate them, and if you ever find yourself leading a pack of sheep then try to keep a healthy distance from their chanting while leading them down the right path.
They will thank you for it in the end.
PS. For those of you thinking “this is very judgemental and self centred”
All I can do is to try to speak your language....
Baaaahhhhh, baaahhhhh, bahhhhh
Which translates form sheep to human as...
“Eat a dick. Have a nice day”
Watching reviewers on a website review the new Eminem album 12 hours after its release is like watching a 10 year old review a scientific paper by Stephen Hawking with a quick skim.
Yes, the child should be entitled to their opinion. But No, no one with any sense should be listening to this child’s opinion.
If you gave a lil pump “album” a 7/10 and Kamikaze a 4/10 then your opinion is invalid, end of story.
But it’s all good. 95% of people are stupid and that’s just how it works, it’s nothing to be angry about. Just try to be in the 5%.
End of rant.8
I have been wondering if there is a way to use social media in a positive way.
Since high school (when Facebook first started) I knew that this social media was a cancer.
From what I know there is no positive use for cancer, and I’m pretty sure that the same is true for social media.
But to be honest, it is a tool that is very effective in manipulating the masses. In fact, it is likely the greatest tool for leading sheep to slaughter since religion. I’m always looking to take advantage of every tool at my disposal.
Tools shouldn’t be seen as good of bad, so I am going to have to accept it is a tool of great power and use it. Hopefully I can use it in a positive way, but that doesn’t look likely...1
“Do or do not, there is no try”
- Yoda, when developing in Rust
Also, my mobile is stuck to always make things a question @dfox
I think it is saving it from an old rant... maybe1
I know this isn’t dev related at all but...
Nor is it a question, as my fat finger set it to...
Eminem just dropped a surprise album at midnight last night. No promotion, no bullshit. Just straight hip hop.
And the album cover is a throw back to the beastie boys!
If you can’t tell already, I am super pumped about this!!!20
I just got Jenkins all setup locally, setup the first pipeline, get docker working with it, setup the build step, setup the test step and more.
In under an hour.
Not too bad for the first attempt.
The hardest part was figuring out the GitHub credentials.
Actually, the hardest part was keeping an eye on the dude in the booth next to me who has delusions of grandeur and likely other mental illnesses.
Had to keep an eye on him while he was pointing around the room (usually at me) and saying shit like...
“Ugly, ugly, all of you are fucking ugly”
“Fuck you, fuck you too!”
I’m sitting over here thinking...
“Bud, you got 3 teeth, you smell like shit and your rambling to yourself... fuck you you ugly piece of dog shit! Let me do my work I peace.”4
I just setup Jenkins locally for the first time to do some CI/CD for a project using docker. Then I upgraded the container to the latest version of Jenkins.
I am liking it so far but haven’t really setup anything significant yet.
Any of you ranters have experience with Jenkins?
- would you recommend it. Pros/cons?
- what resources did you use to setup and expand your pipelines?
- any experience with Google Cloud Platform and Jenkins.
These are kind of open ended questions to start a discussion on the topic.
Jenkins will be used at least for deploying the front end built in React. I may also use it for deployment if the Golang API but that uses Kubernetes at the moment.
Me: walks into a coffee shop and orders a latte
Barista-1: can you cover for me tomorrow.
Barista-2: I am busy with family. Do you have plans?
B-2: are you sick?
B-1: yeah! My throat hurts soooo much and I can hardly breath!
B-2: ahhhhh. That’s too sad.
B-1: commences to make my latte while breaking heavily into it.
Me: Walks the fuck away.
Fuck. That. Shit.
The $6 it costs for that latte isn’t worth missing a week of paying work with the flu!
I got no time for that type of shit. Stay the fuck home for fuck sakes.10
Everybody seems to fuck it up. (Most ignore it entirely)
Everybody seems to undervalue it’s importance. (Its value cannot be overstated)
Everybody seems to think it is a luxury for successful companies. (Instead of being a major part of what got them their success)
Everybody seems to think having beer in the fridge is culture, or some other perk. (I like beer and shit, but that’s not culture unless your company makes fucking beer!)
Everybody seems to think that a value statement is culture. (Your employees don’t give a fuck if you want to “provide value to X industry)
And guess, fucking, what...
Everyone is wrong. That’s why 9/10 startups fail, because the founders and CEO are dumbasses.
Here’s some pretty simple advice for life...
“Don’t be a fucking dumbass”
Sometime I’m developing in Rust and I do something wrong.
Then I look at the terminal and it says...
“You did X, did you mean to do Y”
Then I do it and it works perfectly, and I’m like...
Why do I even have a job if the compiler is this good?7
I just opened an Instagram live video for the first time. It was a video from Snoop Dogg and I thought...
“I can almost smell the chronic he is smoking on”
... then I remember I live in Vancouver BC and that smell is the 80 year old man and his wife smoking a joint at the crosswalk.
—> I like the place I live :)
I was working on a project, it was a race to the finish.
We are all on very little sleep, like none. Everyone is in a haze.
Last minute a bug comes up that we cannot explain. One of a lead guys say he will handle it but we can see him degrading.
We left him alone, until he comes out of the quite room looking like a scolded child.
“I can’t do it guys... I really can’t. I’m stuck and I can’t do it. I gotta go for a walk...”
As he walks away I say...
“Did you push your branch? I’ll have a look”
Now to be honest, I’m fucking running on fumes at this point as well. So I start to think... what’s the low hanging fruit here?
Spelling mistakes. Brackets. Shit like that.
It was a spelling mistake.
When he walked out of the building we were a fucking mess. When he walked in we were all high-fiving.
He looked at me and said...
“What was it?”
I said, “it was a really strange little error but I got it fixed.”
The guy, who is NOT the touchy feely type, hugs me like I saved his life. And in his ear I whispered...
“It was a spelling mistake” then I winked at him.
We high fived, released the fucking code and never spoke of it again. (Except laughing over a few beer)
I felt like a fucking super hero2
When I was in high school Facebook was just coming out and it was...
- a way for the cool kids to exclude anyone they didn’t like from a visible social circle.
When I was in university Facebook was taking over the world and it was...
- a place for your mom to embarrass you and your racist aunt/uncle to make uncomfortable racist comments.
Today Facebook is...
- a serious threat to society itself. A direct threat to truth and the enemy of the press.
And yet most of these weak-minded, short-term dopamine addicts are still sucking Facebook’s flaccid cock.
To loosely quote iceberg slim...
A real pimp can eye a bitch and gauge right away how much mileage she has...
“That hoe is good for 500 fucks”
Once the mileage runs out the bitch gets strung out and you gotta let her go.
I wonder how many more likes these dopamine-driven Facebook hoes have left in them? I wonder?
Ps. Yes, Facebook is a pimp and every time you look at it you are a hoe. You give up the preverbal pussy to them, they sell your pussy to the ticks (advertisers) and then you get fucked, getting just enough dopamine so that your fine with them selling your pussy for profit.8
At the airport.
Security: Please put all your electronics in the bin, including your watch.
Me: No problem
<goes through scanner>
Me: there was an Apple Watch in here and now it is gone.
Security: Oh, you lost your Apple Watch?
Me: No! I put my Apple Watch in the bin like you instructed and YOU lost my Apple Watch.
Security: It must be in the spinners.
Me: So my $500 Watch is in the spinners being run over by bins?
Security: you have to put the small things on the bottom.
Me: It was on the bottom and I did as you asked, this is entirely on you. Do not try to shift the blame to me again please.
Security: As I said...
Me: As I said, Do not try to shift the blame to me again. This is entirely your responsibility once you separate me from my electronics so you can perform security theatre. Have a nice day.
Fuck this god damn security theatre. Fuck the dumbasses they hire. Fuck your country. Fuck your god damn feeling of insecurity. Fuck Your ineffective security theatre.
Sick my fucking dick until you choke and gag you worthless pieces of shit. Homeless people the street provide more security than you incompetent, under-educated assholes. Fuck you
And yes, I have 2 fucking laptops. I have a real fucking job where I provide actual value and for that I need a work laptop. I don’t come to work in a stupid looking outfit with a chip on my shoulder looking to inconvenience people. I come to work to provide real value to someone.
Fuck you and your worthless bullshit48
So, after day 3 of Rust programming I have an observation to make:
Rust package management (and conflicts that arise) is not very good.
To the rusters out there, am I wrong? Is there something to make it better?19
If you are sick...
STAY THE FUCK HOME!
It has nothing to do with how YOU are feeling. It’s about RESPECT for those around you.
Especially if you work in an open office. Coming into an open office when sick is like coughing right on someone’s face repeatedly, it shows that same level of (lack of) respect.
Almost every company I have seen fucks this up so bad. It’s the same shit every year....
People are afraid to take days and stay home. They go in and make everyone sick, then everyone is taking days off and we are “short” on people. Then the incompetent CEO is scratching his head as to why this toxic work environment could produce such a toxic result.
And one more fucking thing.
If you got a cold/flu on Monday and your in the office on Wednesday because you are “feeling a bit better” then your a fucking idiot. At day 3 you are just starting to expel germs while still being highly contagious.
If you come into an open office while sick then I would say...
“Smarten the fuck up! And start showing some respect for the people you work with!”
If you have created (or are creating) a culture that encourages this then I would say...
“Fuck you! You should be fucking smarter than that.”
If your still sitting there thinking something like...
“Well I have to attend the meeting” or some other shit. Then let me add this to the pile.
Not everyone has had a rosy fucking life.
You may be working next to someone who has a lowered immune system due to past medical problems. What may be a week of sickness for you could end up being a month in the hospital for them.
You may be working next to a person who has a family member dying of cancer. If you make them sick then they can’t visit that family member (colds can kill cancer patients) and you may be stopping that person from seeing their loved ones one last time before they die.
Don’t be a fucking asshole.
STAY THE FUCK HOME!9
First day developing in Rust. First day developing using the actor model in Actix. First line in a new production codebase.
- idiots get out of there car and dance with the door open...
- Meh. Ghost riding the whip is old news.
The Kiki fail
- people get out and either fail or get betrayed.
Me: now I’m on board.
Great examples seen so far...
1. Women get out dancing, drops her bag (on purpose) in dancing. A motorcycle comes along and steals her purse.
Me: Great. I hope they get away with it too. I like the criminals more than the idiot in this case.
2. Dude gets out and starts dancing. Driver speeds up. The guy holds on to the car telling him to “STOP!”. He stops, the guy goes head first through the window of the driver (its down) and I assume right on his head.
Me: mmmmm delicious7
Apple is really worried about their huge failure with the i9 6-cores, worried they won’t sell.
How do I know? Well, this...3
How much time a week to you spend socializing away from the computer?
More interestingly, how does this compare to how much you would like to be socializing?
Myself. I would say it is around 2-5 hours per week and I wish it was closer to 7-1010
I was going to rant today about lack of self-awareness and emotional intelligence in some developers, this rant was based on the interviews I have seen flop over the years.
But then, as I am typing it, people in my office start having this exact conversation. We get together and discuss it and in the end we come to the same conclusion as my rant.
Now it feels like a waste to rant about something on the internet when I got to have a real in-person discussion about it.
It’s like devRant in real life!
The outcome of the offline chat...
- Have a cultural policy that is strictly NO ASSHOLES
- Watch for people who are nasty on the internet, especially LinkedIn
- Be careful with people who have a lot of questions for you but answer your questions with “we are in stealth mode” or something similar
- There is no point in wasting your time on these folks in an interview, just politely conclude it as fast as you can and move on