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A very sad story. I ran into my ex again and it brought up a lot of pain for the both of us. 😢
Me: "Hi. How are you?"
Java: "I'm good, you? What are you doing here?"
Me: "I'm good too. I work here and uhm.. boss said I have to work with you."
Java: *giggles nervously*
Me: "So.. you're looking good."
Java: "Yeah. I guess I'm still relevant." (sulky)
Me: "Hey, hey, of course you are. I left because I just didn't think you were the right fit for me and I didn't want to lead you on."
Java: "Yeah.. so let's work together." *smiles shyly*
The longer I looked at her, the more I thought "Why did I leave her in the first place?" She looked so smooth and tidy unlike.. no, no, I shouldn't think that about Python. I chose her for a reason. I chose her because I know we have a future together. Whatever problem we're having, it will pass, no amount of developers with sadistic indentations is gonna change that. I must stay loyal and remember why I moved on in the first place.
Java: "So what are you doing now?"
Me: "I'm making a copy of you."
Java: "What kind of copy? What do you mean?"
Me: "Well, my boss asked me to convert you into a Python library."
Java: "What?! So you came here after all these months just to hurt me? Salt to the wound, eh? Leaving me and replacing with that bitch just wasn't enough. You have to come around here again and slap the fact into my face!"
Me: "No. No. I can explain. I didn't want to do this. I tried to let you go and if given the chance, I would never want to disturb you again."
Java: "No!" *makes hentai noises and walks away*
Me: *cries uncontrollaby on my desk*
Janitor: *walks in* "Nani?"
PM: 2 months? no thats way too long, do it in 1.
Director: I had a chat with someone else who doesn't work on this team, he says that developer you complained about is a good guy and we should keep him on the team.
Business: No, we don't have time for tech debt, lets build these new features as quick as possible and lets see where we are.
everyone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CRASHED AGAIN??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE5
Mam: Hey can I ask you a question about Facebook?
Me: (Christ give me strength) ... sure whats up?
Mam: You know when you get a notification and you click on it and see what someone uploaded?
Me: ... you are not on Facebook, you can't be getting notifications
Mam: well I do. Is it possible to...
Me: No hang on a second, it is 110% not possible for this to happen. Something else is going on that you think is a notification.
Mam: You know when you are on, and you see a message like "12 new notifications"
Me: on? on what? this is happening on your phone is it? Can I see?
Mam: No its on my laptop at home.
Me: ... you have an old laptop with an old windows, you can't get notifications on it.
Mam: OH FOR GOD SAKE! ... you know when you are in your emails and it says "12 new notifications"?
Me: ... right so we are talking about EMAILS about unread notifications and not getting notifications on your phone. So you have an old account then that you don't use?
Mam: Yeah I don't know the password to it, haven't logged in, in years.
Me: of course
Mam: Right anyway. When I get one and click on it, lets say its about you, can you see me reading your notifications?
Me: ..... you can't not read my notifications.
Mam: uh, can you see me reading your emails then smart arse?
Me: ... can't do that either.
Mam: So what the hell am I doing then?
Me: You are reading a post someone uploaded, which you got alerted to from an email.
Mam: Right, can you tell when I've read your POST then?!?!?!
Mam: was that so hard?
Me: ... yep6
Big client, sells products in 30+ countries.
Tries to generate newsletter subscribers, so asks for a system to send a coupon upon subscription.
2 days later, client calls in panic. “We have too many subscribers, our marketeers say it’s a bot issue, can you do something?”.
Checked the data, checked analytics, turns out there’s a lot of referral traffic from freebie-sites, no sign from a bot issue.
Called the client back, “sorry, but there’s nothing you can do about that, you wanted your newsletter to become popular. Not you’re the victim of your own success”.
Client: “can we add captcha?”
Me: “why would you want to do that? You don’t even have a bot issue”
Client: “to make it harder for people to subscribe”
I tried to talk som sense in their heads, but after 3 times I gave up and implemented the damn captcha. It’s still there, doing nothing but annoying thousands of people, including me...7
// sorry, again a story not a rant
Category->type = 'Story';
Today at work I got a strange email
'about your msi laptop'
(Some background information, a few months ago I went on vacation and left my work laptop at home. Long story short some one broke in and stole my msi laptop)
So this email had my interest. I opened it and the content was something like:
Hi! My name is x, I clean/repair laptops partime and I noticed your personal information on this laptop, normally people whipe their data from their laptop before selling so this is just a double check, if the laptop was stolen please call me on xxx
If I hear nothing I'll assume its alright and will whipe your data
So of course I immediately called him, after a conversation I informed the police who is now working on the case6
Someone Asks me : "Will programmers be needed in the future if AI is already created code?"
Your question clearly tells one thing; you have no idea what programing is about and how it is done.
For starters, software already writes code. In every major codebase there are lots of files with auto-generated code. Auto-generated code is something a program have written to provide interface to a service for the rest of the codebase. So code already writes code - if the purpose of the code is clearly defined.
The problem is that users rarely know what they actually want, and even if they know it, they are rarely capable of creating a clear enough specification of what they want.31
I am sorry!
I want to apologize to everybody here.
I love DevRant, I enjoy reading other developers stories and rants. DevRant has taught me me a lot.
But I also have to admit, that I, at least at the beginning, did not see the real purpose of DevRant. I started posting memes... I found them on other platforms, made a screenshot and cropped them out. In the end I posted them on DevRant. And i feel bad about it. I dont think that DevRant is supposed to be about that. DevRant is a place where everybody should share experiences, problems, ideas.
People like me, reposting memes, are slowly destroying the platform.
Thats why i am sorry, I am going to delete my old meme posts in a few days.35
a stored XSS vuln in a banner-like component, visible in ALL the pages in the portal. Anyone can attack anyone.
HOWEVER this was not discovered by 3rd-party security specialists during latest security audit. I have escalated this to my manager and got replied that unless client actively requests this to be fixed should I do anything about it.
FFS.. it's only 2 lines of code.. And there's nothing I can do about it.
Eventualy I was transfered to another project. Now it's not my problem anymore.5
Currently on the train to work:
*Guy pulls out his laptop
Me: *Oh nice. Dell laptop. Oh wait, shoot, that’s a Dell XPS 15. 😎Sweet!! Looks super clean. Get it boss, I salute you. Anyway, it’s probably running Windows 10 as expected. It’d be super cool if it run Ubuntu though.
*Guy lifts laptop lid.
Me: *Ahh, look how clean it is too. No fingerprints or smudges on the screen or keyboard. That’s my style. I like this guy. We can definitely share laptops.
*Guy powers on laptop
Me:*Woooooohooooo, no way!!! Gets a little tear of joy in my eyes. I want to hug this guy. This guy rocks. Oh mann, I want to start a conversation with him but can’t because another passenger is standing between us.
*The laptop run Ubuntu! 😍😱😁22
I am lately being active on devRant, LinkedIn and Reddit.
I made some good connections and friends. Never socialised any better.
However, after I installed the dR app again, I ended up wasting my time scrolling more miles and posting more bullshit.
I keep browsing Reddit for stupid memes and LinkedIn for no specific reason.
I recently cultivated a good habit of reading and I mostly read eBooks. That said, I finished 2 books past month and half way through my third book.
I had a plan to complete it over the weekend but *sigh*
So now I have uninstalled the apps and focusing more on learning and reading.
BTW I am not addicted to apps, I am addicted to people I meet there. You fuckers are awesome.7
I'm extremely lucky I'm not violent person. What happened today for some reason just completely pissed me off. I'm not sure why it got under my skin so much, but I feel completely disrespected.
I went to our marketing person's office to discuss a basic requirement for our api. Very simply, we have a lot of old shitty date that doesn't have a lot of fields filled out (worse yet, some are simply bogus values like crazy random dates and whatnot).
She put in a ticket claiming our most recent change started changed the creation dates to be empty. Easy enough to disprove, because the marketing software we have shows a records of all the edits for each contact, and if it came from our api it'll be labeled as "Web API". So of course I check the example contacts she give us, and there's no history of changes, meaning they never had the date to begin with (which is correct, as until now we didn't track creation date WHICH IS NOT MY DECISION. So dude 10 years ago probably made that decision).
So I start asking what exactly we're using it for. She does an absolutely horrible job of describing it and keeps telling me "no you absolutely have to be able to do all this, it's our requirements". By "this" she wants me to magically give all these contacts correct creation dates after the fact.
Eventually she gets the whole campaign idea out and I point, politely, that they're probably violating GDPR. She starts yelling saying her and her boss have been doing marketing for years and they know what they're doing. So I (less politely this time) said that's fine, I just want to talk with her boss to make sure he understands he's in the grey area and that if I'm the one building this, I'm kind of liable as well.
She clearly didn't like that, but I thought whatever, let's just agree on some requirements and I'll pass it on to my boss (who genuinely shits on her every single day and is constantly saying she never knows what she's doing).
So I go back , do some work. A little later I have to go print something off which is next to her office. Her door is shut, but I can hear her from down the hall yelling at someone about the conversation we just had. She actually starts mocking me. Doing the "stupid person" voice. This goes on for longer than our conversation.
Like I said, I know I'm right and she's just venting because she doesn't want to admit she's made a mistake. But for some reason it just completely broke me. I'm new but up until this point everyone had been pretty open about how they feel about me and my co-worker. But she just didn't need to go that bloody far.15
> be me
> spend 0.02 Ether (about €5) on one of those old-school MUD-style games
> send to the same Ethereum wallet from a previous purchase
> realize that the destination wallet changes for each purchase (probably to mitigate the fact that transaction history and contents in Ethereum wallets is entirely public)
> send an email to the game dev asking to return the transaction or pass it on to my player account
> *cricket noises*
About a week later, i.e. now:
*checks that Ethereum account that I accidentally sent that transaction to*
> $0 on it, transaction has been withdrawn
Now I couldn't care less about the €5 - it's only 2 beers worth - but what I do care about is honesty. Dear Chat Wars admin, that money wasn't yours. Also, I am one of those players that plays very few games but tends to commit to those I do play. The last one I played, I spent several hundreds of euros on over the couple of years I played it. I could've probably paid for your servers, spare time development and then some. But obviously not anymore. Choosing a quick grab of €5 over a relatively steady source of income from someone that tends to financially support what he likes... Re-evaluate your life choices.
Just like that incident with the stolen flash drive that was worth only €10... I couldn't care less about the raw value of them, but I do feel very disappointed in humanity when people go for a quick grab of such worthless things.2
So... Just overheard a conversation at an Apple store...
The customer gets furious for not getting to buy a mac pro for the price he wants and it doesn't even include the monitor there.....
C - customer, S - Sales person.
C: Hey, I've heard that apple released new home computers. May I get one?
S: Hello, they are not out yet.
C: WHAT?! How can they not be out yet? They released it like a week ago.
S: Well, they announced it, not officially released it for sale.
C: Ah, whatever. Can I pre-order it now?
S: Sure, we'll need your details and a deposit.
C: What? A deposit for what? That $1000 machine?
S: Sir, do you know the prices?
C: Of course. They have released a new machine and it will cost like previous ones - from $1000.
S: Then you might be talking about Macbook Air...
C: *Interrupts* No, I'm talking about the desktop computer, the whole box.
S: Ok... It starts at ~$6000.
C: WHAT?! It can't be... Oh well, I'll buy it. I hope it's the fully-specked one. Oh and does it come with a monitor?
S: No sir. It's the base model and it has no monitors.
C: WHAT?! How can this be?
S: You see, these are devices created for professionals. They are not for home users since our iMac line is....
C: *Interrupts again* Are you saying I'm not a professional?
S: I'm sorry but by the questions and lack of information - it seems to be true - you are not a professional.
C: FUCK YOU, I'm going to another store and they will sell it for me for $1000. What a piece of crap is this.
*Customer leaves furiously*
S: *to another S* - What is wrong with that dude? Is he high or what?
S2: *shrugs* and tells that it's the 5th time someone came to order that pc and was scared by the price.
So yeah... It's fun to see how idiots think that anything apple releases is for them... Once again I was made sure that apple fans are brainless fucks that will buy anything it produces and if that is not in the right price - they'll get furious.
ps. I own apple product, mac pro 2015. Would never buy a newer one NOR an iphone. I don't think that anyone is dumb just for buying it - people buy whatever fits their needs and that's ok but... More than we would like to admit - people buy it because it's an apple product....14
It blows my mind that Google, advertisers, and a lot of companies seem to not understand the concept of a need fulfilled.
Google news: If you notify me of an article, and then I click on that notification, you can assume I read it. And you can also assume that I don't wish to read it again 2hrs later! So stop notifying me!!!
Amazon, AdSense, Facebook, everyone else: just because I bought new headphones, doesn't mean I wanna see ads for headphones. Actually it means the exact opposite. I don't want new headphones. I literally just bought some. And I especially don't want the exact same ones. I already have them.
Somehow, the targeted ads are worse than random. That's annoying.
How is this hard?12
Well. Guess who missed it again..
Anyways, it's my belated devrant anniversary!
Since last year I have gained ~20000++ and met a bunch of new people here. So, I would like to thank @dfox and @trogus for this great platform!
Also, a quick recap of robotics (the only interesting thing I do) since last year:
We had a great build season, and built a robot that got us in the top 5 or 6 (I can't remember) at our first competition, top 2 at our second, and quarterfinals at our third!
Thanks to everyone for the support throughout the season!14
A person just bought a 3000€ workstation and asked me to install cracked versions of Office, AutoCAD, full Adobe suite and Rhino with plugins. And he's going to use them at work to make money.
So, since I have to, I installed 2-3 years old versions of each, in English (he only knows Italian) and blocked all the connections so he can't receive any update/fix or use web related functionalities. I also disabled all autostarting components and contextual menu / OS integrations (although this can be seen as a plus).
When he's calling me asking to "fix" things, I will simply say "sorry, it's the only way for the crack to work, if you want everything you'd better pay for a license or else go open source".
Why can't people understand the value of the complex software they use? Just because it's not a material thing doesn't mean it's not a steal41
After 16 years of porn addiction, I've finally realized that the only way to stop any addiction, is to take control of your mind. Nobody can help you, except make you realize the source of the problem or factors that cause it.
It's strange to describe how the mind works, sometimes we need stuff in our lives because we need to spend time on something to avoid the emptiness.
Free yourself from the things you love the most, in my case I love playing video games, it helps me feel complete, but in all honesty, I don't need it. I like drinking energy drinks, but in the end, I don't need that too.
My point is that once you find a way to deal with the things you can't live without, you find a way to live with it.
The only reason I watch porn is to reduce stress or have something "fun" to do.
As Bruce Lee once said: Be formless, be shapeless, be water my friend.
I like to think that he means to let the urge flow within you, but don't let it control you.27
How Google loost its data Monopoly-
Step 1- US bans Huawei
Step 2- Google Bans Huawei
Step 3- China Gov helps Huawei get back on its feet
Step 4- Huawei makes their own OS to rival Google, the OS can run Android apps as well as IoS apps and has its own language/framework for developing new apps
Step 5- China bans Google from their market
Step 6- Chinese mobile manufacturers adopt the new OS
Step 7- China's population starts using the new OS i.e. country with the world's largest population starts using the new OS
Step 8- Chinese manufacturers like Xiaomi, Vivo, Oppo and OnePlus who already own approx 40% of India's smartphone market start distributing the new OS based phones in India. Factors like cheaper devices take this market share to 50%+
Step 9- Cry, cause the new OS is now being used by approximately 30% of the world's population.
Yeah, bring your hate in the comments but come back and talk to me in August 2022...20
Old boss story. This guy was nice but a terrible boss. Also relevant, he has a background in IT so should know better.
Him: So when you wanna check a password is correct you just unhash it in the database?
Me: Hey we should be doing unit and integration testing at a minimum to lower bugs.
Him: We don't need those, we're not a bank. If a problem comes up we just fix it and push to production.
(A while later)
Him(in email): Why do we keep getting bugs reported. Don't you devs test your code.
I was mildly annoyed at that one.
Him: We're always over budget on projects, how can we fix this.
Me: What if we increase our quotes.(technically there are other ways as well but not really possible at that time)
Him: We can't do that, clients won't want to pay.
Me: *finishing off my handover as I'm leaving for a new job*
Him: Wow you do a lot of work3
I've found and fixed any kind of "bad bug" I can think of over my career from allowing negative financial transfers to weird platform specific behaviour, here are a few of the more interesting ones that come to mind...
#1 - Most expensive lesson learned
Almost 10 years ago (while learning to code) I wrote a loyalty card system that ended up going national. Fast forward 2 years and by some miracle the system still worked and had services running on 500+ POS servers in large retail stores uploading thousands of transactions each second - due to this increased traffic to stay ahead of any trouble we decided to add a loadbalancer to our backend.
This was simply a matter of re-assigning the IP and would cause 10-15 minutes of downtime (for the first time ever), we made the switch and everything seemed perfect. Too perfect...
After 10 minutes every phone in the office started going beserk - calls where coming in about store servers irreparably crashing all over the country taking all the tills offline and forcing them to close doors midday. It was bad and we couldn't conceive how it could possibly be us or our software to blame.
Turns out we made the local service write any web service errors to a log file upon failure for debugging purposes before retrying - a perfectly sensible thing to do if I hadn't forgotten to check the size of or clear the log file. In about 15 minutes of downtime each stores error log proceeded to grow and consume every available byte of HD space before crashing windows.
#2 - Hardest to find
This was a true "Nessie" bug.. We had a single codebase powering a few hundred sites. Every now and then at some point the web server would spontaneously die and vommit a bunch of sql statements and sensitive data back to the user causing huge concern but I could never remotely replicate the behaviour - until 4 years later it happened to one of our support staff and I could pull out their network & session info.
Turns out years back when the server was first setup each domain was added as an individual "Site" on IIS but shared the same root directory and hence the same session path. It would have remained unnoticed if we had not grown but as our traffic increased ever so often 2 users of different sites would end up sharing a session id causing the server to promptly implode on itself.
#3 - Most elegant fix
Same bastard IIS server as #2. Codebase was the most unsecure unstable travesty I've ever worked with - sql injection vuns in EVERY URL, sql statements stored in COOKIES... this thing was irreparably fucked up but had to stay online until it could be replaced. Basically every other day it got hit by bots ended up sending bluepill spam or mining shitcoin and I would simply delete the instance and recreate it in a semi un-compromised state which was an acceptable solution for the business for uptime... until we we're DDOS'ed for 5 days straight.
My hands were tied and there was no way to mitigate it except for stopping individual sites as they came under attack and starting them after it subsided... (for some reason they seemed to be targeting by domain instead of ip). After 3 days of doing this manually I was given the go ahead to use any resources necessary to make it stop and especially since it was IIS6 I had no fucking clue where to start.
So I stuck to what I knew and deployed a $5 vm running an Nginx reverse proxy with heavy caching and rate limiting linked to a custom fail2ban plugin in in front of the insecure server. The attacks died instantly, the server sped up 10x and was never compromised by bots again (presumably since they got back a linux user agent). To this day I marvel at this miracle $5 fix.1