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Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
Today's (scheduled) meetings:
Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)
Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?26
HR: Everyone must fill out these 100% anonymous surveys about how you feel about our company, it’s leadership, and how likely you are to leave in the next 6 months etc. Please be 100% honest, since again it is 100% anonymous. Reminder! You must use the individual links we sent to you, do NOT use someone else’s link. Oh did we say it’s 100% anonymous?
www. surveygen .com/ companysurvey123 ?employeeName=boombodies &employeeId=6969
Senior Management: We are severely disappointed in the timeliness of the two apps you built this year. You had budgeted 3 months for one and it took 4 months and the other was budgeted to take 4 months and took 5 months. We understand that we doubled the requirements halfway through and but that doesn’t take away from our need for you to deliver on time. We provided you with two extra devs on the project! We know they were novices and you had to train them from the ground up during the project, that doesn’t matter. The extra resources should have helped you but your lack of leadership ability is what caused them to hold you back. We know our other team with a budget of 6 months took 2 years on their project and was still unsuccessful but that is a different scenario! That was a pre-built 3rd party ERP plugin, way more complicated and nuanced than simply building and deploying something from scratch. Yes we’re aware your projects were the only successful tech projects at the company this year, that’s just luck and coincidence. The next app we need you to build in 6 months, no questions asked. It needs to consolidate and tie together our 3 different ERPs. Everything that we need out of these products that they don’t do out of the box we need you to wire up. We will decide the exact requirements in a month or so, for now just get started. Yes your apps changed the way we do business and allowed us to complete projects smoother than ever before while saving millions of dollars in wasteful and archaic processes that is OLD NEWS. Stop bringing it up. The successes of yesterday are the status quo of today. Don’t expect any new resources either, you clearly can’t handle them. You will now be giving status updates to 3 different managers as a corrective action to your missed deadlines in order to ensure the timeliness of future deliverables.
Some managers really just walk around with as little backbone as they can even if it means allowing the company to exploit the people under them by giving them the shittiest tools.
A few months ago, I was issued a Macbook Pro. It was brand new. I opened it maybe once and never used it again. Since I quit over a month ago, I surrendered the laptop to that company's IT in good condition. One of our testers asked if he can have it so we talked to the manager about the transfer. As discussed, I will surrender the laptop to IT for them to check and other bullshit then my colleague will pick it up.
Pickup day comes. He was so excited. He woke up early and drove a few hours to the office during a fucking typhoon and they gave him the ugliest laptop I've ever seen in my entire life. The screen looks like it was bukkake'd for decades and instead of wiping it clean, they just let it dry up. Then they buried it with the first owner's corpse where he released all his death liquid and gasses into it.
He literally cannot see shit because of these weird foggy marks all over the screen. The charger looks like it was dragged and chewed up by rabid dogs. The cable is brown and open in all places and there's a weird smear that looks like feces. They jammed this Jurassic trash into a Macbook Pro box that is equally dirty.
Before he showed it to us, he said, "The screen looks like my magazine when I was a kid." I asked, "Bold? (porn)" After I saw it, the mental image was a lot worse.
We later confirmed that it was not my previous laptop. He asked the manager and he said, "Sorry, it was swapped. Rutee's laptop was assigned to this other guy but don't worry, that one is working." Are you fucking kidding me? I'll make this chewed up charger your anal beads. See if you don't get tetanus from this crap. It looked so fucked up, we joked that if he plugged it in, it will cause a blackout in the entire city. We were all pissed off for him while at the same time laughing at this ridiculous junk and thinking of cartoonish ways it could explode or just die the first time he uses it. The nerve to issue garbage like this to an employee. Imagine if he broke this dying device and they asked him to pay for it? Like how much? For the same price of a brand new one. How about $1?
He asked the IT department and they said it was actually the manager who swapped the laptop and gave it to someone else. Talk about a fucking liar. We urged him to fight them and voila, he got a new one in perfect condition. They can issue a perfectly good device but they just give you garbage and see if you will accept it. If you saw it, that thing should have been decommissioned a long time ago.
Fuck that company and manager in particular.5
Just a friendly reminder that when you hear one or more of the following:
- identity politics
- toxic *ity
- cis* (though "cisco" is fine)
- culture appropriation
...and other bullshit, feel free to not talk to that person ever again. You'll miss nothing. Always remember that their goal is not equality but power to oppress whoever have a different worldview.
If you fear twitter backlash, fear not. Political shit comes and goes, but the inherent value of what you do is here to stay and means something at all times.
To anyone who wants to judge me because of this — remember, what you have read above comes from a bipolar transgender bisexual rape victim.31
Dev: This is the first version of this new app, we’re still experimenting with how it’s going to work but initial headway is looking promising. It cost very little to make, came together very quickly and is already resulting in productivity increases for users. We’re just doing a bit of code cleanup now and we’ll make a move on the next iteration.
Corporate IT: This project is being completely mishandled! In order to successfully build an app you have to determine every single requirement beforehand! It takes millions upon millions of dollars due to the complex system of governance and approval that needs to exist. Massive numbers of stakeholders need to be involved and coordinated to even make so much as a login screen! I bet your project doesn’t even have a documented list of core values.
Dev: Has you ever successfully built an app using that methodology?
Corporate IT: 😡 That’s a loaded question. I went to school to study project management and have over 25 years of experience in the field. If you had the training and experience I do you would know that tech projects are naturally very volatile and there’s nothing you can do about that!
Request from a senior backend dev in a previous company:
Talking to the team thats responsible for the auth API's is such a pain. For this new API can we just not add any auth to it? Its only going to return details about who the email address belongs too. Like name, address, date of birth, car registration etc. No one will care about that, and it will be easier for mobile to integrate right?10
This is what happens to overworked PMs.
Me: When users create accounts with social logins, they don’t have passwords in our database. If they try to enter an email and pw on the login form, what do you want the error message to say?
PM: Can we add a modal that says “Your account doesn’t have a password, set one now.” And have a password field?
Me: ☠️ That…would…allow…anyone…to…hijack…an…account…
PM: Right. Never mind.5
Renaming your master branch to "main" is racist. When Git was created, there were no connotations related to slavery. Also, the word "master" has many meanings, and in the context of computer technology, "master" has nothing to do with slavery.
When I tell that to people, some of them say "but wait, you're white, so you by definition can't understand feelings of black people".
Feelings come from one's mind. Proposing the situation where I can't understand something because "only black people understand it" implies white and black people being different in their cognitive abilities, and that's fucking racism right there.
Ability to understand cultural and historical phenomena does not depend on race. Anyone who says that without a biological proof is a racist.
I find it ironic how it's microsoft who almost enforced this on GitHub while themselves supporting literal concentration camps: https://github.com/drop-ice63
My GF is a non-tech-savvy linguistics bachelor who uses elementaryOS as her only operating system on her only laptop. I'm not responsible for this, I only helped her install it instead of Windows when she asked me to do so.
She's a living proof that the stereotype of Linux being "too hard" or "exclusively for geeks" is outdated to say the least. Yes, Ubuntu and elementaryOS are not as kewl as Arch and Gentoo, but they are still better than a popular blue-colored American operating system that sends unencrypted screenshots of your desktop to some unknown IP addresses every 10 minutes.32
User: "Why isn't this process updated? There's something wrong with your system."
Me: "Did you submit the request?"
User: "Uh yeah I'm sure I did..."
Me: "Go submit the request again." (they never did the first time)
User: "I don't know how. Will you show me?" *shows user how to do it* "Ok I did it now."
Me: "You did it wrong, you need to resubmit it."
User: "Ok I resubmitted it."
* a week later *
User: "The process still hasn't shown any progress."
Me: "You didn't resubmit it like you said you did."
User: "Will you show me how to do it again?"
* fuck me *
Process works as expected and everyone lives happily ever after, except the developer that knows it is just a matter of time till the next user blatantly lies, has no respect for anyone's time, and demonstrates a complete lack of desire to care about their job at all and just wants to bitch and complain like a typical lazy ass-hat.6
I might have told this in other rants, but this thing (requested from the client) is one of the worst thing I've ever done.
So we were developing a website to find the stores of a certain brand across the country, specifically: Italy.
In Italy, a lot of towns have accents and apostrophes in their name.
Client managers wanted ALL DATA to be capitalized, including letters with accents, but the client management was using Windows and Windows doesn't simply let you enter capital letters with accents from the keyboard, so the client requested to make a procedure to turn every apostrophe into an accent, therefore a town named like "CA' DEL BOSCO" would be "CÀ DEL BOSCO" (which is wrong) as they just couldn't bother copy-pasting from Word.
An important thing to notice is that most Italian towns with apostrophes don't have accents and most towns with accents don't have apostrophes, and that specific routine couldn't figure out what to exactly, so we ended up having all the stuff messed up.
The feature was a total SHIT, but the client was extremely happy with it, so we didn't even bother arguing with that.3
The thing with meetings is that most don't know what a (formal) meeting is.
A meeting has a specific time frame, a defined agenda with specific topics and a moderator or an agreement on a common netiquette.
That's a meeting.
A meeting is not a place to put your willy on the desk and proof to everyone that your cock is thx to operation a long schlong who won't get hard, nor that you don't know how to shave, even less to measure the size of your genitals.
It's neither the time to eat and slurp like a fucking hobgoblin, nor to drink like an alcoholic who hasn't had a drop of alcohol in the last hour.
Parents, I don't care what your satanic offspring achieved today, nor how cute they are, even less what booboo they have.
Crybabies, keep your whining for after meeting time, maybe even stop crying and just have a nice talk outside of allocated time frames to discuss whom hurt whom the most and who has the most sand in his clit.
Get to the fucking point.
If I wanted to read a trilogy to understand what you contribute, I'd have written it on the agenda.
If it's not on the agenda, cram it in your butt cheeks for the next time you need to shit.
If you can't converse with people at all, the meeting is allocated at least 24 hours before it happens.
Prepare yourself for goddamn sake.
You could even read out a predefined text if you want, noone cares.11
Mail: Meeting about new benefits from working at <COMPANY>. Estimate duration: 1 hour.
Me: Alright, I'll bite. Might even be something I can use.
HR person in said meeting: At <COMPANY> we'll reward you for being healthy by giving you a better life insurance.
Me: Sounds good and reasonable but you also said this didn't require a physical so how...?
HR: Install <APP> on your phone to keep track of all your healthy habits
Me: Wait wha-
HR: Generate our own brand of crypto currency by linking in all your other health apps like google health, and (lists 4 others), goes towards your life insurance and you can even donate water, food or books to the less fortunate! You DO want to help starving children, right?
At that point I just disconnected. I'm not paid to take part in a corporate crypto scheme.4
I have a problem!
I used to love programming and I really had a passion for it! I was a fast learner and realized quickly that I had a talent for this. It felt obvious that I should go for a career as a software developer! I have now been working with this professionally for about 2.5 years and I already hate it! I'm not sure if it's the job or the career that I hate but all my creativity and passion for this is gone! I feel like it's way too early to get tired of a career!
Has anyone else been through something similar? Is it a phase? Should I get a new job? Should I change career completely?30
I started working for a startup around 2 years ago, I literally helped them survive in covid, I worked my ass off for them. (I was getting good money so no complain there) but now after 2 years I started looking for better opportunities and finally found one but now the old company guy is not letting me go they have froze my experience letter, not accepting resignation letter not even giving me my salary slips and since with all this frustration I stopped working 2 months ago and now I got blocked form every possible way to contact them.9
It's frustrating trying to find help related to mental health in this place. I asked for an online appointment with a psychiatrist because that's the only appointment they allow during the pandemic. They called me after over a month to ask if I'm still experiencing anxiety and depression which I had a few years ago. I said no but I have trouble sleeping for several months now, maybe over a year. I lost track of time. My problem with concentration is also getting worse.
They completely ignored the concentration part and gave me a prescription for 10 tablets of sleep medication to take "as needed". Lol. This is after I said, I have not had a decent sleep in months. I don't plan to take it every day but come on, how long will it take for another prescription? A month? I sleep like 4 hours every day. No interruptions and nightmares if I'm lucky, and 6 hours on unicorn days. I don't care if you sleep less than that, it's not a competition.
Stop drinking coffee? I tried that, fell asleep early only to wake up by midnight and stay up until the sun comes up. Exercise? I strength train thrice a week and have other physical activities on other days. Melatonin? That shit doesn't work for me. Benadryl? Awesome but I can't abuse it for so long.
The concentration part has always been a problem regardless if I was on sleep medication or not. It doesn't fucking matter. I feel like I'm writing on a journal while another hand of mine writes over the same texts I've just written a moment ago and then another hand, and then another until they're all just writing different shit on top of one another. Voila, I have different kinds of novels and all them are unfinished. I am seriously concerned about my job and my future in general.
This is not impostor syndrome. I am fucking up and it gets worse every month. My colleagues are very patient which makes me feel guilty as shit. It's so frustrating knowing you can do so much and how easy it is but not being able to do it. "Maybe it's not so easy." It really is. As soon as I do it, it takes so little time but 75% of the time I'm doing or thinking god knows whatever unrelated crap.
Time blocking? Turn off all distractions? It doesn't work. Nothing works. I contacted a few other psychiatrists and the only one who replied said they'll be available on January. Nice. I'm not even worried about COVID. I've been sick for almost a week (don't know and don't care if it's COVID) and I just stay at home. It will pass and if it doesn't, I'm dead. But why are psychiatrists not available during the time when they are needed the most? And why is it so hard to meet one who takes you seriously?
I found some medication online. I would love to get a proper diagnosis but I've been trying for years and this part has always been dismissed. Even if I wait until January, I doubt that one will take me seriously. I wasted enough of my youth fucking around with unresolved issues when I could be spending time implementing some ideas I have. If no one's gonna help me, I'll help myself.16
I cannot even function right now with how angry I am. If you're a python developer, don't take offence to this unless it describes you.
All the python devs I have ever met so far are pompous arrogant cucks that can't even get out of their own way to save themselves. They make EVERYTHING so fucking complicated and complex that the whole point to a project becomes moot.
Instead of understanding HOW a thing works, their answer is ALWAYS rewrite it how THEY want it to work.
They have what we used to call "little-man" syndrome. They're so concerned that they aren't perceived as intelligent that they overcompensate by making the wildest and most fucked up changes to a project I have EVER seen.
They have gone so far as to break the original functional components of a project just to meet THEIR definition of a healthy python project.
I don't hate the language, but GOD DAMN I HATE THE DEVS.
If this describes you, fuck you. Seriously, just fuck off into whatever python hole you crawled out of and stay there.7
Me: The dev agency didn’t follow best practices. They only implemented front end validation on the form. The form submits to a public endpoint, so bots don’t have to go through our site to submit the form. That’s why our database is still filled with $1 donation transactions. I honestly recommend telling this to the dev agency and request that you not be charged for the extra work needed to do this right.
Manager: They charge $95/hr and they’re billing for 8 hours already.
[Aside: The agency’s task was to implement a $10 minimum on the form, do some text changes, and deploy.]
Me: I would expect work to be done according to accepted best practices. It’s really a half done job.
Manager: But they were very helpful when we had that payment processing emergency. They stayed late to help us. We shouldn’t push this in case we need their help again. Can you do the backend validation? [We are in US and agency is in Lithuania.]
Me: 🤬😩😑🤐[To myself: This wouldn’t have happened if the fundraising team hadn’t panicked and would only wait until I came back from my one day of PTO.]1
I know most of you know this, but after having dealt with both recruiters and real companies I can safely say that recruiters are of no practical value.
I've wasted countless months of my life interacting with recruiters and getting nothing out of them. To me it seems they're only after fluffing their client base.
The only time I got a job was through the real companies themselves.
Now I have learned the lesson: stay away from recruiters.6