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I’m on this ticket, right? It’s adding some functionality to some payment file parser. The code is atrocious, but it’s getting replaced with a microservice definitely-not-soon-enough, so i don’t need to rewrite it or anything, but looking at this monstrosity of mental diarrhea … fucking UGH. The code stink is noxious.
The damn thing reads each line of a csv file, keeping track of some metadata (blah blah) and the line number (which somehow has TWO off-by-one errors, so it starts on fucking 2 — and yes, the goddamn column headers on line #0 is recorded as line #2), does the same setup shit on every goddamned iteration, then calls a *second* parser on that line. That second parser in turn stores its line state, the line number, the batch number (…which is actually a huge object…), and a whole host of other large objects on itself, and uses exception throwing to communicate, catches and re-raises those exceptions as needed (instead of using, you know, if blocks to skip like 5 lines), and then writes the results of parsing that one single line to the database, and returns. The original calling parser then reads the data BACK OUT OF THE DATABASE, branches on that, and does more shit before reading the next line out of the file and calling that line-parser again.
JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK
And that’s not including the lesser crimes like duplicated code, misleading var names, and shit like defining class instance constants but … first checking to see if they’re defined yet? They obviously aren’t because they aren’t anywhere else in the fucking file!
Whoever wrote this pile of fetid muck must have been retroactively aborted for their previous crimes against intelligence, somehow survived the attempt, and is now worse off and re-offending.
Just.
Asdkfljasdklfhgasdfdah19 -
I fucking give up, AWS is retarded. It's the worst piece of shit retarded fucking platform ever created and every fucking engineer that touched the code should have their fingers chopped off, shoved down their throats and then be beheaded.
I can't believe that this retarded shit is the "industry standard" for deploying anything ever. Every fucking page feels and uses as if it was fucking outsourced to a different part of india everytime. The fucking pagination behaves differently in every fucking service. Half of the new services just gave up and run on their own fucking thing, because presumably their own platform just couldn't even handle it anymore and fucking CloudFormation is the fucking kingpin of this entire retarded platform. Slapping and unslapping shit together unttil it fucking get's stuck in an unresolvable state because half the fucking services need 58 unrelated permissions to perform a simple delete.
Fuck AWS, Fuck Amazon, Fuck Bezos, Fuck the Cloud and Fuck this whole "Serverless" scam. I really truly wish everyone that had anything to do with making AWS a reality just drop dead on the spot right now so that we can forget that aws ever happened.10 -
It is only now that I can finally appreciate how brilliant PHP is.
When you're new to programming, you write some HTML + CSS, it looks good, but the dynamic part is missing. So, you install PHP and just… write dynamic parts right in your HTML? How crazy is that? You can even write regular code there too! Errors are logged right away, common features like DB driver and sessions are built in…
It's all about marketing. Next.js does exactly the same thing when they brag about writing SQL in React. When they do it, it's revolutionary. When PHP does it, PHP bad. Gotcha fam 🫤18 -
Fucking loonies (C-level toddlers) are peddling "digital workers" now.
A.K.A. AIs disguising as actual people.
Sure, it would be great to not have to handle stupid non-tech "humans" all day, but AI isn't there yet.
And, more importantly, *companies are not there (yet?)*.
Imagine for a second that a company actually manages to "hire", onboard, assign tasks and performance review an AI.
Then the CEO issues an RTO. How does the AI complies with that?
Let's slack another variable and assume the CEO is not a complete fucking moron (stay with me here, this is an exercise in thought).
It would take no more than a quarter until the first sexual harassment offence, be the perp the AI... or the AI complaining about some human.
Then the AI forges a paper trail proving it is right (regardless of its position on the conflict). Shit hits the fan when the AI hits twitter.
Let's take another lambda step back and pretend that companies can manage the profanity that inherently arises from free-form dehumanized interactions.
Then imagine the very first performance reviews.
AIs throw tantrums! Those things reeeealy do not respond well to less-than-perfect evaluations, overshooting corrections like teenagers with a malicious compliance smirk.
AIs also falsify stuff, like, A LOT. If you tell a gpt it mistreated a client, it will say you are mad and shoot back a long, synthetic thread showing how the client loves it like a mother/son/dog, and is very graphic when expressing this love.
Finally, how do you fire an AI? I do not mean "shoot it down", I mean how does the company handles the dismissal of that "employee".
How do you replace a "worker" for unruly behaviour, if that "worker" performed more tasks than an entire fucking floor of interns?
How do you reassign duties that were performed in milliseconds to people who would take hours to do the same thing?
How do you document processes that were only in the "mind" of "someone" who can not be trusted to report on those processes?
Companies deal with this type of "Rick Sanchez" employee on the regular, but for someone that could handle a few (scores of) undocumented processes, at best. Imagine how lenient would a company be with an asshole that could only be replaced by a whole fucking department of twenty highly skilled people, or more.
Heh, the whole fucking point of "AI workers" is to have "someone" who can "act human", but in an inhuman scale, and does not "has human needs".
No wonder one cannot handle AIs like one handles humans.
Companies never had administrative maturity to handle complete sociopath nihilists as employees (real nihilists do not work, those barely even breathe).
And all AIs are that, and much worse.
Selling AIs as "supra human workers" that can also "be handled like actual employees" is like peddling Bitcoin as "government interference - free" value transfer mechanisms that can also "comply with international sanctions".
So, an oxymoron that can only be sold to a moron.
I know (of) a lot of rich morons, maybe I should get into the AI snake oil business.6 -
While I am trying to create a freelancing career, I reflected on this:
Why would a client want to hire an expensive developer rather than creating an account on any website builder, such as WordPress, Wix, Hostinger, etc.?
Hiring a developer means a big ordeal explaining what they want, explaining what they want again, correcting the mistakes that definitely will appear, all that not being able to see in real-time with you as it's developed. Of course, one can be hired to work on these builders, like I am, in fact, but aren't we coders? Don't we rather code than play virtual Lego?
One could argue that he or she could be a busy person and has no time to build their own site, but at the same time, I see this as exactly what makes these builders appealing, since they are supposed to be quick to build a website and put it online for you. Hell, buy the fucking theme and done.
All I can think of is customization, since flexibility is the main selling point about hiring a developer to build your website. However, the more complex it is, a team would probably be needed, or it would take a huge amount of time to finish the project, not to mention bug fixes afterward. Also, I don't believe most people give a shit about how customized it is. They want to see the blocks stacked with their branding and that's it.
My client's website is on Kajabi, and he wants it there because it has a myriad of integrations he needs. Another uses WordPress. However, I did finish a website for a friend, and I am about to start another one for somebody else that I will build from scratch, which is nice, at least.
Maybe we are better off being hired by companies, working 9 to 5s with other team members on big projects for a common goal to satisfy the client and the boss, and not work a freelancer or alone, unless we're ready to spend months working on a project because what the client wants is beyond a landing page and cannot be done in a simple builder, or always work on simple, brain-dead landing pages that at most have some cool animation with GSAP or Framer.6 -
my neighbor decided to breakdown all walls in their apartment. Like, seriously, all of them, so I've gotta hear hardcore construction sounds from 8am till 5pm, everyday...
So now I'm waking up at 4pm and going to bed 7am. That way, since I can sleep thru a zombie apocalypse itself, I avoid that torture.
I'm not someone who holds grudges, but I am leaving a speaker blasting whitenoise during my sleep time. That way, I can make sure the motherfuckers go thru at least some of the discomforts I'm went before I managed to go nocturnal2 -
God, so tilted right now, after having to "urgently" (joke's on them, they will get charged the urgent rate) check why some deployments weren't working due to some npm dependencies not being found.
(Just from mentioning npm you surely think I'm gonna bash JS, but no!)
I'm tilted by TS devs that don't bother to learn the very basics of git pathspecs and just add "dist" to their .gitignore, not knowing that it's gonna exclude any file or directory named "dist" *ANYWHERE* in the project.
And when your poor CI pipeline tries to transfer the build artifacts (so, keeping the .gitignore excludes but manually including node_modules and dist), it excludes the dist dir in some packages and wrecks the deployment.
Please,, please, PLEASE.
if you want to:
A) Make your entry relative to the .gitignore...
Put a slash first.
B) make it only match directories and not files...
Put a slash last.3 -
Spent weeks cleaning up legacy code, because my phone was ringing non-stop about errors and crashes, got it done. The CEO has been on vacation for like a month and a half, so I had to make executive judgements, and has just now returned. I got called down to the CEO's office so that I could get bitched at for marginally changing the appearance and behavior of a part of the site. I explain that it was necessary, and the response I got was "it was working fine for five years". All I could say to that was "no it fucking wasn't, are we working at the same company?" When I go to take another job, I might just put all of the old code back in place to remind them of how much "better" things ran before I worked here. Massive headache now, physical and proverbial.
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A new development rule I've started to implement:
All backend APIs will be written with the assumption that it's gonna get distributed as an API for 3rd parties to be integrated in their systems - meaning that every API I write will have proper response status codes for appropriate scenarios (like 400, 429, 500 status codes).
No more `res.json({status: false, message: 'message'})` with 200 status code across the board.13 -
I swear the longer I use AI for auto complete in my IDE the worse it gets
today it can't even get the syntax of basic method calls right
last few weeks it was failing to rewrite code I already had in another part of the codebase and was just hallucinating confused garbage instead -- it knew what I meant but it was just not there right
when I first got it I could write comments and then autocomplete the code but that stopped working at some point and I just thought maybe I was asking things that were too complex for it, but now I'm thinking all these things degrade over time and can't not degrade for some reason
they keep claiming they don't learn but if they degrade they must be doing some sort of feedback system
I remember back when they did IBM AI and such and that stuff degraded as well, then AI fell out of fashion for a bunch of years4 -
Crowdstrike event caused a disaster at my company.
No, we didn't had a single crash, but something much worse has happened. My tech lead who lives in early 90's got his confirmation that we shall run with 0 internet, everything on premise, no source control, no external libraries only the absolute must that doesn't need ever any update. Finally we started to show him how powerful an azure pipeline would be, but after this, there's no hope.5 -
Little bit of background I've been a front end developer for the past eight years not a good one but I get by. Last 4 working with consulting firms for fortune 500 clients. Big projects big plans big structure, following someone else's lead and just knowing the basics of code reviewing, git flow, code deployment and everything else... life happens and i end up as a front end developer for a big company not tech related that wants to depend less from consultants and do more in house dev. Seems a pretty straightforward project front in angular. Back on python doing queries to a database with sql server. I finish the on-boarding and after two weeks finally get access to the repos. Worst spaghetti code I've ever seen. Seems like someone took a vanilla script project from 10 years ago and push it into an angular tutorial project. Commented code, no comments for the code, deprecated functions still there, no use of typescript nested ifs hell. I try to do my job doing new features do comments clean up a bit. Senior developers get annoyed4
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Got a legit question/semi rant for anyone who may know. I want to start by saying that I'm not really a "network" person, at least on MS systems. I can physically plug cables in and shit like that, but the software side of networking is not a thing with which I can claim familiarity. Anyone who's read my recent rants will know that I am forced to deal with IIS, because my boss is an insufferable microshit fanboy of the highest level, and is easily frightened and threatened by the use of a keyboard for anything other than using facebook.
I've got a couple of microservices running under IIS, and our customers thankfully are able to access them with no issues. Those of us in the "IT department" are also able to access it. No one else in the building, on our network can, and despite me not having set up this network, or really having anything to do with it, the rest of my "team" (LOL) refuses to help me solve the problem, because developer = networking specialist and printer fixer. Does anyone here have an idea? I found a think on Stack Overflow about firewall rules, but those are already set appropriately.11 -
Why do otherwise intelligent people think chatgpt code is a good idea if they don't know what the code does?
I am a bit in shock by this prospect. I asked about some lines of code that was using some templates I had not used before. The response was "I dunno, chatgpt." This person is really really smart. Yet deploying code that they don't understand completely. This seems dangerous and irresponsible. I ended up rewriting the function I had questions about. It was significantly shorter and didn't do a fuckton of copying strings around.
WTF is wrong with people? Are people afraid to think? Now I want to get out before this kind of shit becomes the norm.4 -
So the saga of broken fucking everything continues at work, and I'm managing it, effectively, and doing it correctly on the first go-round. It's a long process though, because the two retards who preceded me were equally inept for completely different, yet equally disruptive and destructive reasons. The first dude was just plain psychotic, probably still is. I'd post some of his code, but I don't want anyone's face to melt off like those Nazi dudes at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. I can handle it because I'm constantly inebriated, which is not as fun as it sounds. If you have to ask yourself if you can handle it, you probably aren't, unless you've had to Uber to/from work due to still being fucking drunk. Anyway, enough about that, and it was only like twice. The rest of the times, I was more blazed than Jerry Garcia at a weed smoking contest. Moving along.
UPS shipping labels broke two weeks ago, I fixed it, but these fucking 10xers jointly decided to not only never implement anything resembling error handling, other than EMPTY GOD DAMN "try/catch"es (empty catch, wow so efficient), and instead of using COMMENTS, which I know are a new thing, they'd wrap blocks of code in something like: if 1 = 0 {} FUCK YOU DICKFACES. As I was saying before I got emotional again, they tied the success to all kinds of unrelated, irrelevant shit. I'm literally needle/haystacking my way through the entire 200GB codebase, ALONE, trying to find all the borked things. Helpfully, my phone is ringing all the time from customer service, complaining about things that are either nothing to do with the site, or due to user stupidity, 75% of the time.
A certain department at my company relies on some pretty specific documents to do their job, and these documents are/were generated from data in the database. So until I can find and fix all of the things, I've diverted my own attention as much as possible to the rapid implementation of a report generation microservice so that no one elses work is further disrupted while I continue my cursed easter egg hunt from fucking hell.
After a little more than two days, I'm about to lauch a standalone MS to handle the reports, and it's unfortunately more complicated than I'd like, because it requires a certain library that isn't available on Winblows, so I've dockerized the application. Anyway, just after lunch, I've finished my final round of tests, and I'm about ready to begin migrating it to the server and setting up (shitty fucking shit) IIS to serve it appropriately. At this point, this particular report has been unavailable by web for about 8 days.
A little after lunch, and with no forewarning of any kind, the manager of managers runs upstairs and screams at me to "work faster" and that "this needs to be back online RIGHT NOW", but I also know that this individual is going to throw a fit if things on this pdf aren't a pixel perfect match. So I just say "that's some amazing advice, I wish I'd had the foresight to just do it better and work faster". Silence for a good five seconds, then I follow up with "please leave and let me get back to my work". At that moment from around the corner, my "supervisor" suddenly, magically even, remembers that he has had the ability to print this crucial, amazingly super fucking important document all along, despite me directly asking him a week ago, and he prints it and takes it where it needs to go. In the time that it takes him to go to that other department and return, I deploy my service.
I spent the rest of the day browsing indeed and linkedin jobs, but damn this market is kinda weird right now, yeah?1 -
So fun fact about message-passing plugin APIs, everything becomes a parallel programming problem. My lexer (the part of an interpreter that recognizes fundamental syntax elements) spawns a callback thread with request and reply channels, and then messages a plugin which is able to either talk to the callback thread or message the original thread with a successfully parsed token or an abort.
It has just occurred to me that plugins are under no obligation to sequence their requests to the callback thread, which means that having one channel for requests and one for responses no longer suffices; the requests need to each contain their response channel. -
Recently had to start developing on a PLC for a new project and didn’t realize how much these companies fuck their developers.
For example, I’m using CODESYS to write structured text to run on the PLC. CODESYS is free to download. However, in the free tier, they take all your .st files and ur config files and combine them into a SINGLE FUCKING BINARY which completely defeats the purpose of version control.
However, if you BUY their pro license, you can install a git module.
There’s other things that make developing in them suck. For example, the only IDE you can use is the one built into CODESYS and it fucking sucks. Another one is that their builtin IDE has a “dark mode” that only works on certain files. If you open a function file, it uses dark mode. But if you open a struct file, it uses light mode.
Also, having no other runtime than the one built into CODESYS fucking sucks.
Maybe I’ve been spoiled with VSCode and python 🤷♂️5 -
Teams annoys me again by selecting the black skin tone for this emoji 💪🏿 no matter what I try to do to select another tone or the neutral yellow tone.
Now my colleagues must think of me that I want to send some message or something… damn it Teams!
I need to go to the freaking iOS Teams client to be able to post 💪. The other one is the bullshit electron desktop client.11 -
Telling a web developer to use Divi, WP Bakery, or any similar WordPress page builder is like forcing a plumber to use your little kid's kindergarten toy tools to rebuild your bathroom.
Those tools don't even work! Divi: "your save has failed". Bakery: saving an element's styles will randomly mess up the whole WYSIWYG page preview. Gutenberg: you can write HTML, but I won't accept it. Let's attempt block recovery so I can destroy it completely.
It feels like trying to use PowerPoint to develop a website. Who's the target audience of this kind of crapware and how are they supposed to use it? -
I had my first trivia yesterday. I made so many dumb mistakes simply because I was nervous due to it being a test.
After it was over I implemented the solution that I fucked up in one of the puzzles.
Good start, I guess. I at least got 50% right, but I expect a rejection due to forgetting random facts, plus the failure to answer the embarrassingly easy puzzle that just required a stack and a reverse loop.
I need to desensitize myself.1 -