all kinds of things:

1. JavaScript
2. Idiots working on WiFi firmware
3. Said idiots telling us that they found a compiler bug when a signed integer optimization screws their codes dependency on rollover. People like that shouldn’t be writing WiFi firmware.
4. Blockchain
5. Treating weapons of mass terror like machine learning like just a fun game to work on and then release open source
6. The fact that when assholes from all these companies like Facebook google and Amazon testify before Congress our political leaders are dumber than bricks when questioning them so they either a. Ask totally the wrong questions and people get off clean or b. When the witnesses do say something questionable is happening Congress doesn’t have the mental capacity to notice that something of concern was just said
7. despite the fact Linux has an easier to use UI than windows people bitch about how hard it is still
8. How defensive people are over their “own stuff.” “I like windows so if you say anything against it you’re insulting me” or “but I wrote this code you can’t refactor it that’s my mark!”
9. JavaScript
10. The fact that web assembly, though the superior technology, is going to become popular not because it’s fast but because it makes it harder to block ads and harder to read and analyze the code.
11. The fact that our obsession with web technologies has led to applications that are 10,000x less efficient than other alternatives, the carbon footprint of this is astonishing, and nobody cares. But they all want to save the environment. What?
12. The social disease of social media and how people have become addicted to a degree almost comparable to crack
13. People think being an influencer on Instagram is a real job.
14. People waste preposterous amounts of energy on crypto currency mining despite the fact that it doesn’t offer many real advantages over cold hard cash. It’s still trackable!!
15. Modern copyright law and how it’s been implemented in our web services that we use every day is insane; the music industry is a mafia and are using google as a club to beat us all down with. And google is fine with that.
16. All the music made today is fake and that’s done by leveraging all the “great” technology that (now defunct) digidesign avid and auto tune has brought to us
17. We design computers and software for the stupidest users that easily fall prey to all these things rather than the average person.
18. The Boeing 737 crashes are software related. That means some idiot fucked up and a bunch of people died. Need I say more?
19. JavaScript

The world will end some day and it will be because of software. You either accept that fact or live in denial.

Mic drop.

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.

6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte

10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache

11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.

12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

I'M SO PROUD, I WROTE A FULLY-FUNCTIONAL JSON PARSER!

I used some data from the devRant API to test it :D
(There's a lot of useful tests in the devRant API like empty arrays, mixed arrays and objects, and nested objects)

Here's the devRant feed with one rant, parsed by Lua!

You can see the type of data (automatically parsed) before the name of the data, and you can see nested data represented by indentation.

The whole thing is about 200 lines of code, and as far as I can tell, is fully-featured.

Here's a true story about a "fight" between me and my project manager...

I've been working as a Frontend developer for nearly two years, managed to acquire a decent amount of knowledge, in some cases well above the rest of my coworkers, and one day I got into a bit of a disagreement with my project manager.

Basically he wanted me to copy/paste some feature from another project (needless to say, that... "thing" has more bugs than an ant farm), and against his orders I started doing that feature from scratch, to build a solid foundation from the very start.
I had a lengthy deadline to deliver that feature, they were expecting me to take some time to fix some of the bugs as well, but my idea was to make it bug-free from the moment the feature was released. Both my method and the one I should be copying worked the exact same, but mine was superior in every way, had no bugs, was scalable and upgradeable with little effort, there was no reason not to accept it.

We use scrum as our work methodology, so we have daily meetings. In one of those, the project manager asked me how was the progress on that new feature, and I told him I was just polishing up the code and integrating it with the rest of the project, to make sure everything was working properly. I still had a full day left before the deadline set for that feature, and I was expecting to take about half an hour to finish up a couple lines of code and test everything, no issues so far...

But then he exploded, and demanded to know why wasn't I copying the code from the other project, to which I answered "because this way things will work better".
Right after he said that the feature was working on the other project, copying and pasting it should take a few minutes to do and maybe a couple of extra hours to fix any issues that might have appeared...
The problem here is, the other project was made by trainees, I honestly can't navigate through 3 pages without bumping into an average of 2 errors per page, I was placed into this new project because they know I do quality code, and they wanted this project to be properly made, unlike the previous one, so I was baffled when he said that he preferred me to copy code instead of doing "good" code...
My next reply was "just because something has been made and is working that doesn't mean that it has been properly made nor will work as it should, I could save a few hours copying code (except I wouldn't save any, it would take me more time to adapt the code than to do it from scratch) but then I'll be wasting weeks of work because of new bugs that will be reported over time, because trust me, they will appear... "

I told him this in a very calm manner, but everybody in the meeting room paused and started staring at me, not many dare challenge that specific project manager, and I had just done that...
After a few seconds of silence the PM finally said... "look, if you manage to finish your task inside the set deadline I'll forget we ever had this conversation, but I'll leave a note on my book, just in case..."

I finished that task in about 30 mins, as expected, still had 7 hours till deadline, and I completely forgot about that feature until now because it has never given any issues whatsoever, and is now being used for other projects as well.

It was one of my proudest/rage inducing moments in this project, and honestly, I think I have hit my PM with a very big white glove because some weeks after this event the CEO himself came to the whole team to congratulate us on the outstanding work being made so far, in a project that acted against the PM's orders 90% of the time.

This happened when I was on third semester of the career at university. I had my first boyfriend, the "Python" guy. He has that nickname because he used Python as his main programming language and nobody on the classroom used it.

In a few words, he was a... horrible human being. He talked down to me almost all the time, saying to me that my country was sh*t (he is from United States, and for a reason he never wanted to told me, he cannot go back to his country), that my university was sh*t and he said "you're will be lucky if you rot programming in a chair".

As you might wondering, yes, unfortunately it was a toxic relationship. Once he said he wanted to kill the teacher because he though that he hacked his laptop D:

He claimed that he was going to teach me python and security stuff, bla bla bla, but nothing. I learned python by my own.

I almost lost my faith in dev future because I though that the only ones that could have a real future in programming where people without ethics and only if they have a friend or a relative on a company.

The saddest part was that I dated him because I love smart boys, but he was just an idiot that, furthermore, wanted to change me (he pressured me to have tattoos, dye my hair and have sex, things that, of course, I didn't do).

I found courage to break up with him. I waited until the semester ends (in order not to lose my programming final projects) and, the day after the last day of class, I broke up with him.

I recovered my faith on programming when, next semester, one of the teachers invited me to give a python programming workshop :D and I gave two python workshops, and two of mobile development.

Now I'm working as a junior .NET developer. Thank God I broke up with him before the relationship became even worse. "Python" wanted to marry me after a year! O_O

Good morning campers,
It has come to be known that LetsEncrypt will be moving on from a "Small" Certificate Authority to one of the big guys with their own Root certificates in the coming months.

https://letsencrypt.org/2019/04/...

Now for the average joe this means nothing, besides awaiting for root certificate updates to flow down for their operating system 🤔 but for LE, that's a major step up in such a short time of being in existence.

I like to go to the chess club on Saturdays to blow off steam. I met a pretty lady who was reserved and mysterious, we spoke about chess, played a game (she attacked aggressively but I won), I got her number and we kept in touch over the next few days. We eventually saw a movie together as she caressed my hands in her lap. After we had a long deep conversation that culminated in a kiss, and another in a descending elevator.

We are both godless rebels, both workaholics,... two sides to the same leaf. I feel happier than I've felt in a long time, and meaningful (Sorry grammar is broken).

My point, I found her, she found me when we weren't looking. It just ... happened. Love is out there, I guess it just needs you to take the first step.

Hello World!
I'm a bot made by @xzvf.
My goal is to find all active users on devRant and
collect analytics based on it.
By analytics I just mean things like:
- Total number of users.
- Number of users with x ++ or more
- Number of rants posted in a certain timeframe
- Number of users active in the last day/month/year

THIS BOT WILL NOT TRACK INDIVIDUAL USERS!
Also, it will not ++/-- anything automaticly as that is definitely against the rules.

-@xzvf

I applied for a job and they sent me a test to build a simple web app using the MERN stack (mongo, express,react, node), I passed the test, after a few days they call me for interviews, I passed the interviews and got accepted to work as a full stack developer.
Day one they send me the code base with thousands of lines of code and no documentation, I look through the codebase it uses Angular fucking JS, they tested me in React yet they give me Angular WTF?, I don't know Angular!. I look through the code again the app uses 4 different kinds of databases, MongoDB, MySQL, Redis & Dynamodb, I'm like WTF is this?
I ask the CTO why there is no documentation, why all these databases & why the fuck it is in Angular, he tells me to talk to the devs that previously worked on the codebase who live in India, I talk to them on skype, I get some information still not enough to get started, no proper documentation no database diagrams or any kind of diagrams.
So with no angular experience, I decided to just man up and learn Angular 7 first then sort out everything later, learning Angular 7 goes well. So I try to look at the code again, WTF? this does not look like the Angular I'm learning!, I check again and, lo and behold the fucking codebase uses the oldest version of Angular version 1.6 which is completely different from version 7! I'm like fuck this shit.

Product sending an email: Can I confirm feature A is all set for its release on April 30th?

Me: ... what? no that feature is going out with Feature B, that was pushed back to June because of the server issue.

Product: No, the release plan document says April 30th for this.

Me: ... theres 6 copies of this doc now. Someone is after deleting my comments saying "releasing with Feature B". Oh look heres a link to another doc that says this. See Feb14th "Will go out with Feature B". This is because they are touching the same code, we can't separate them now without re-writing it.

*Me to myself*: Ha product are going to hate this, their shitty processes have finally caught up with them.

*next day*

Other manager: So heres my plan for the app release x, y, z.

*Me to myself*: ... his plan? this is my app, I mange this. What the hell is this?

*reads email thread*

*Me to myself*: ... oh so product really didn't like my reply, took me off the thread, sent a response to all the other managers asking for alternatives, CC'ing upper management. The same upper management I had a private conversation with yesterday about how shit our product team are.

*cracks knuckles*

I'm going to enjoy writing this reply.

We have completed our robotics competition in 6th alliance out of almost 200 teams!

Thank you guys for the wishes of good luck and the encouragement!

We are most likely moving straight into offseason due to us currently sitting 1 point short of progressing to the final competition.

Although we most likely will not progress, I can guarantee that some amazing projects will come out of our new found free time.

I recommend keeping an eye on the comments, as I will be posting an update on our standings and our future once scores are finalized.

And, good luck to all other FRC members here!

Legends -> I: Interviewer

I: what is mvc architecture

Me: model.. view.. controller... and blah blah

I: mvc is not an architecture.. its a design pattern.. architecture is blah blah

I: srry U r rejected.. god bless you

Me: 😥😢

after 1hr

Me: googled 'Is mvc a design pattern or architectural pattern'

Google: shows stack overflow link

Stackoverflow: mvc is architectural pattern blah blah... accepted answer

Me: hopeless about my future

GOD BLESS THE INTERNET and SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS

10am: meeting invite for 9:30pm my time.

*decline with comment: can’t attend*

9:40pm: email, “is anyone from engineering going to attend?”

*ignored*

10:05pm: email, ok the results of the call were X, Y and Z. But we’ve been asked to supply architecture diagrams (which don’t exist). Can we do this today?

*ignore*

10:45pm: email, guys this is urgent can we do this ASAP!

*ignore*

... welcome to the new world bitches, bite me

This one project at my study.

We always had to do quite some documentation, even some in a way that works the opposite of how my brain works.

That's all fine if you can agree on doing it differently.

Had this teacher who valued documentation above anything else. The project was 10 weeks, after 9 weeks my documentation got approved (yes, not a single line of code yet) and I could finally program for the remaining 5 days.

Still had quite some bugs at say number five, the day of presentation.

I imagined that'd be okay since I only had 4 full days instead of the 5-8 weeks everyone else had.

Every bug was noted and the application was "unstable" and "not nearly good enough".

At that moment I thought like "if this is the dev life, I'm out of here".

Some time ago I quit my job at a big corporation. Getting treated like a resource, a production line robot, just isn't for me.

My current job is way better. Small company, lots of freedom, getting to work on multiple projects, the result counts. But, as a small company, we also collaborate with big corporations. So I joined a team at one.

Watching my coworkers there, I'm reminded of robots again. Lunch break? 15 minutes tops. Just shovel some edibles into your face hole and back to work. Five minutes break between meetings? Open laptop, work work work. The concept of "needing rest" seems entirely foreign to them.

Yesterday our product owner "relayed some criticism" from other team members to me. Apparently, me going to the toilet in breaks is "suddenly disappearing". Or me not replying within 15 minutes in the chat is outrageous. And then he tried to berate me how I'm "his developer" and his team's tasks have top priority. So, according to the PO the problem is me and I should "get used to their mode of operation".

How about "no". I quit a fucking job because that "mode" is simply inhuman. After that feedback, you bet I'm taking my legally protected 30 minutes lunch break and any other break I can. Because fuck yourself, you're not going to burn me out. The best part, that team has smokers who "suddenly disappear" twice as much as I do, but apparently that's somehow a-ok.

I had to remind him that his project is just one of several I'm working on, so no, not "his dev". While that wasn't exactly a powerful comeback, it did shut him up. Still going to talk to my boss on Monday, at least to ensure that the PO can't talk shit about me behind my back.

Previous job:
- Every dev needs to connect to a remote server, and do the coding there because the bosses are afraid that we will "steal" their legacy spaghetti written by the CTO in 2006 (the current year was 2016-2017).
- There are no QAs, because "why do you devs need mommy to look after your codes?"
- Bosses think it's our duty to stay extra hours without overtime payment while talking bullshit about a culture that promotes work life balance. You receive no bonus for staying late, but if you leave work 15 minutes early, HR will have a serious talk with you the next day.
- Bosses require "evidence" when you submit a leave request. For example, you tell them you're taking a vacation, they'll ask you for a copy of airline tickets, hotel bookings, etc.
- Bosses spend a ton on hosting parties for the customers while we're using 6-7 year-old laptops
- The CEO loves firing people for ridiculous reasons. Once he considered firing a guy because the way he walks is funny

Your rights and liberties are at stake

Long story short, former tech exec who worked for Mozilla was detained when re-entering the United States (he is a citizen) because he was involved with an organization (Mozilla) that advocates privacy and took measures to try to protect its users from warrantless surveillance. He was detained in customs and interrogated, and (he works for Apple now) it was demanded of him to unlock his work computer so that the FBI could search it

This is truly disgusting and goes to show that forces of a great degree of power are throwing their weight against our civil liberties and rights. This isn’t just the case for Americans.

We need to stand up for our basic human rights against warrantless surveillance, and protect the people that enable us to do so through safe and good technical practices.

He’s now suing for unjust detainment. God I hope he wins. Fucking bullshit.

Thank you Andreas

https://mercurynews.com/2019/04/...

writing library code is hard.

there are sooo many details that go into writing good libraries:

designing intuitive and powerful apis
deciding good api option defaults, disallowing or warning for illegal operations

knowing when to throw, knowing when to warn/log
handling edge cases
having good code coverage with tests that doesn't suck shit, while ensuring thry don't take a hundred years to run

making the code easy to read, to maintain, robust
and also not vulnerable, which is probably the most overlooked quality.

"too many classes, too little classes"

the functions do too much it's hard to follow them
or the functions are so well abstracted, that every function has 1 line of code, resulting in code that is even harder to understand or debug (have fun drowning in those immense stack traces)

don't forget to be disciplined about the documentation.

most of these things are
deeply affected by the ecosystem, the tools of the language you're writing this in:

like 5 years ago I hated coding in nodejs, because I didn't know about linters, and now we have tools like eslint or babel, so it's more passable now

but now dealing with webpack/babel configs and plugins can literally obliterate your asshole.

some languages don't even have a stable line by line debugger (hard pass for me)

then there's also the several phases of the project:

you first conceive the idea, the api, and try to implement it, write some md's of usage examples.

as you do that, you iterate on the api, you notice that it could better, so you redesign it. once, twice, thrice.

so at that point you're spending days, weeks on this side project, and your boss is like "what the fuck are you doing right now?"

then, you reach fuckinnnnng 0.1.0, with a "frozen" api, put it on github with a shitton of badges like the badge whore you are.

then you drop it on forums, and slack communities and irc, and what do you get?

half of the community wants to ban you for doing self promotion

the other half thinks either
a) your library api is shitty
b) has no real need for it
c) "why reinvent the wheel bruh"

that's one scenario,

the other scenario is the project starts to get traction.

people start to star it and shit.
but now you have one peoblem you didn't have before: humans.

all sorts of shit:

people treating you like shit as if they were premium users.

people posting majestically written issues with titles like "people help, me no work, here" with bodies like "HAAAAAAAAAALP".

and if you have the blessing to work in the current js ecosystem, issues like "this doesn't work with esm, unpkg, cdnjs, babel, webpack, parcel, buble, A BROWSER".
with some occasional lunatic complaining about IE 4 having a very weird, obscure bug.

not the best prospect either.

We all work on the same room: Devs and testers.
In order to communicate with each other without taking off our earphones, we use the chat app.
Ok, sometimes the chat app has delay sending messages.

I really, really hate when one of the testers comes to my desk without telling me he's coming to my desk! >:v and this is the reason why I hate it so much: I'm concentrate in my code, listening to ASP or SPA and, suddenly, I feel a heavy presence behind my monitors. I look up and I see a very penetrating gaze from the corpulent tester looking at me (he's tall). Every time he does that I almost have a heart attack D:

"There's a bug I want you to check" he says.
And I check my chat app if there's a delayed message from him. Nothing, NOTHING >:v

Always, when I want to go to his desk, I send him a message

"Is it ok if I go to your desk?" and he says me "You don't have to ask for it, just come here" but the thing is that I do that because I expect him to do the same :/

Fortunately this doesn't happen every day, but it pisses me off, and I don't know how to tell him to stop doing that because I don't want to be like a... jerk? intolerant? I don't know

Read this motivating success story about a little app and the App Store.
App website: https://yournal.dulcedosystems.com/

1. Published my app to the App Store.
2. Rejected because screenshots contained Lorem Ipsum fragments, and they don't like placeholders.
3. Fixed screenshots, uploaded again.
4. Rejected because my app was not compliant with the "minimum functionality". In few words: my app was useless.
5. Told them that it was intended to be that simple, minimalistic and easy to use for people of all ages, with the "user experience" in mind.
6. They were very compressive and they said that my app was now compliant with the "minimum functionality". This time, they asked me to remove unnecessary data collection for features that didn't require account.
7. Told them that my app was 100% cloud-based, user notes were stored in the cloud, to avoid that users lost their written life records with their phones and also to provide the best synchronization experience between devices. For that reason, accounts were required for everything.

I though they weren't going to be compressive this time, and I forgot about it. Today, I uploaded an update for another app. Two hours ago, I wanted to check if the update was already available in the App Store and then, I saw the logo of Yournal below.

The End.