I just spent 5 minutes trying to fix an error saying that I am missing a ";".

I saw a ; at the end of statement but I kept on getting the error.

After cleaning the monitor the ; disappeared and I was able to see the problem.

Clean your monitor once in a while.

I don't understand why every non-technical person who comes to do work in my apartment messes up my fucking router.

The cleaning lady - multiple times knocked the antennas partially off. Like fucking clock work. I don't get it, why is the cleaning lady attracted to my router antennas and why does she need to be so hard on them? Whatever.

The most ridiculous episode was today. And it wasn't the cleaning lady. I had a few people here doing some work today and the woman in charge who was here informed me before that they might have to move the furniture "a little."

I come home, and like a bad omen, the plastic parts on BOTH my router antennas are missing. Completely gone. It's just the the wires. Now, the router still works fine in my tiny apartment, but it is a fancy Asus router (I learned the hard way not to buy cheap routers) and I'd like it to not have fucking wires as antennas.

I email the woman (paraphrased):

Me: hey, it seems the antennas got knocked off my router, do you have any idea where they might have went?

Her: Apologies if we didn't put everything back (no shit you didn't, that's why I've had to email you). If we knocked the antennas off the router (fucking "if"???? I literally just told you in my email that they were knocked off) , they are probably somewhere by the window on the floor (they weren't).

And I still haven't found them. Why the fuck do these people seemingly attack my router? I can't figure out what it is about it. You would think people would be more careful around electronics but naaah. Anyway, going to go keep looking for my router antennas.

I was cleaning my drawer yesterday and I came across a 128 MB memory stick that I kept from my first ever PC. That nostalgia hit me like a punch in the face. I went down into the store room and picked up the rest of the components and spent the entire day assembling my old PC.

It booted up and my files were all still there! It was so exciting to see AOL, Limewire, Napster. I played songs on winamp, Fired up all my games : Wolfenstein, Rise of Nations, Vice City... Browsed through my entire CD and floppy collection....

It all felt so freaking good (づ￣ ³￣)づ

I am hooked! Now I wanna restore my VHS too...

Every computer needs a “cleaning keyboard” mode where the keys would be inactive while you wipe them down

Omfg this fucking guy!!!!

Context:

We are going through a major refactor of some of our backend components. I was tasked with cleaning up our ML code while another guy was tasked with cleaning up the general CRUD side of the backend, let's call him DA for "dumb ass".

** At 11pm
DA: I am getting a strange error from your backend. Look:

"Invalid call: method=PUT expected=[POST]"

Me: you need to send a post request not a put request

DM: no, it's not that. I am sending the right thing

Me: ... Let me see...

* 15min ish of testing *

No, it works fine on my version, 1.1.0 what's your version?

DM: I'm on 1.1.0.

Me: send me code?

DM: *send

"request.put(..."

Me: you are sending a PUT... It's literally in the screenshot. Send a Post

DM: I am

Me: no, send a Post

DM: I don't understand, I am sending the request

Me: it's a post not a put

DM: but...

Me: it's a post not a put
Me: good night!!!!!!

Yes, that's an 18 arguments constructor.. there's 21 other classes and I'm afraid of looking into them.

So my college has Apple iMacs and this is the pain I have to go through everyday.
Why can't they just clean it at least once?

When you work for school IT you find these kinds of things sometimes when cleaning the office. And yes it's fully functional

Git makes it easy to search through historical changes they said. Git is amazing when working in teams they said.

It sure is.

If your coworkers do not commit every time they burp or fart, do not use "🚀" or "✨" or "fix" as a commit message, and do not push all their shitty experimental broken branches without cleaning up.

I'm surprised there are no piles of fecal matter behind their desk chairs.

Cleaning lady just asked me what OS I use. "Well, Linux" I replied. Oh, she said, I'll ask my husband if he knows about it. He's also good with computers (probably tech support chap or something like that).

I figured that she might not remember the name "Linux", so I thought about writing it down. But it was so hard to resist the thought of instead writing down "btw I use Arch Linux"! 😆

Got my new workstation.
Isn't it a beauty?

Rocking a Pentium II 366 MHz processor.
6 GB HDD.
64 MB SDRAM.
1 minute of battery life.
Resolution up to SXGA (1280x1024)
Removable CD-Rom drive.
1 USB port (we like to use dongles, right?)

Also it has state of the art security:
- No webcam
- No Mic
- Removable WiFi
- I forgot the password

And best of all:
It as a nipple to play with!!

Today I am cleaning up this mess

"I am still cleaning the data"
- A data scientist's equivalent of 'It's compiling'

For the Dutch people on here, the new surveillance law in short:

- dragnet surveillance, data retention of normal data is a maximum of 3 years, encrypted data up to 6 years.

- secret DNA database, data retention up to 30(!!) years.

- use of 0days without having to report them to the vendors.

- third parties may be hacked to get to main targets; if my neighbor is suspected they may legally hack me in order to get to him/her.
Cleaning up (removing backdoors etc) afterwards is not required.

- sharing unfiltered (raw) data gathered through dragnet surveillance with foreign intelligence agencies is permitted, even if it's to a country which doesn't have as much 'democracy' as this country does.

Decide for yourself if you're voting (at all) against or in favor of this law, I'm voting against :)

We do need a new/reformed law, this one is just too intrusive imo.

Cleaning my room 😂😂😂😂

Cleaning your self up

I feel old now....

Found this gem while cleaning the basement

I just found my favorite editor in the shelves for cleaning products and couldn't help but buy it 🙃 but I'm afraid that when I open it, I might not be able to ever close it again...

$ rant --ridiculous

So today my beautiful and glorious presence was asked to a meeting, I was supposed to present the hosted platform for a project, well, the meeting took place in a building I had never been in so I got lost, when I arrived the design team were presenting a completely different design that what they had given me, which I had spend 10+ hours cleaning and organizing and integrating with the code, and during the whole time I was there I was never involved in the conversation, so basically I was pulled out of my coding liar for nothing oh and because who doesn't like a good ending ... I crashed on my way home after the meeting. Cool day huh?

Boss: Oh can you add this feature?
Me: I added that function already and you said to take it out.
Boss: Can't you just copy and paste it from an earlier version?
Me: No its really not that simple, I removed a bunch of tables and went to town cleaning the code so it's super quick and "sexy fast" as you put it.
I go home, work all night and forget to eat.
nextDay++;
Boss: Actually just hold back on that, I'm having second thoughts.

When a project seems to be in an endless for (fucks sake) loop.

I never liked cleaning my room.... usually the conversation goes like this

Dad: clean ur room
Me: meh... I'll do it later

$200 robot vacuum: clean ur room otherwise the crap on the floor will jam me
Me: ok ok... Give me a few mins

Just took apart my laptop to dust it out from the inside. Had it back together, put the battery in. "Alright, time to make sure I didn't break something"

Beep....beep beep beep....beep beep beep....beep

"FUCK I FUCKING BROKE SOMETHING WHAT DID I BREAK?"

Google Lenovo post codes (Thinkpad laptop). DIMM issue.

"Oh fuck I forgot to put the RAM back in.."

Perfect now

I was cleaning a friend of my cousins pc.... love the crapware nowadays...

My mother used to code a good 30 years ago (embedded development for plane engines), but nowadays always fear doing something wrong on her computer/smartphone.

It's a bit depressing to see how someone who used to be a developer is now so fearful of computers.

On the plus side, she is very respective of my time, and will wait 2/3 weeks for me to come home to fix a simple thing, and generally don't bother me with things she can do herself, once I explain to her how to do it.

Last time was cleaning laptop fans. Seeing how you need to disassemble half of it to clean that, I can understand anyone not wanting to do it.

I have a client (a friend of a friend of a friend) who came to me to build them a "simple" booking solution for their home cleaning business. Easy enough, I first thought.

Having taken a deposit based on my initial quote and contracts all signed, roll on exactly 8 months to where I find myself today.

It turns out, there is no cleaning business as the business will be totally reliant on the website. The original goalposts have now been moved to a completely different fucking country. The (now) required functionality has STILL yet to be finalised (I told client I'm not writing another line of code until EVERYTHING has been mapped out and made crystal clear), as every single face-to-face meeting / back and forth email turns into the client requesting hundreds more brilliant, essential features that make absolutely ZERO fucking sense. And now, to top it all off and push me into writing my first ever rant on here, I've just received an email from the client this morning saying "what I would like to have is like an online restaurant live booking system". WTF?!?!?

I work from home and have only my dog for company today, so please don't judge me. Just needed to let it all out.

So today I had a client come in and give me a free "broken" laptop that wouldnt turn on and was covered in grease and what appeared to be dog hair everywhere. So i go through my every day troubleshooting, found the problem and fixed it. Next i disassemble the entire laptop and just start air dusting and cleaning connections like crazy. Now I'm a proud owner of a really old school laptop that I can probably keep alive for another 10 years :) This will be a perfect machine to test arch linux on 😃

What I did wrong during my home office cleaning session this morning:
- put soap on my mouse mat
- snapped my enter key
- vacuumed up my F8 key
- absent-mindedly cut my ethernet cable
- lost my zero key
- dropped my backup hard drive (data was recoverable, but I need a new drive)
- lost one of the nose pads on my glasses
- got a cocktail stick stuck in a USB port
- exploded my mouse by using the wrong type of battery

Things I did good:
- nothing

Cleaning my dad's iphone.

This is what happens when you put an iPhone in an otterbox

Nose picking manager.
I mean this fucker picks his nose even when he’s talking face to face,
And am not talking about just cleaning it,am talking about putting the finger in all the way and probably trying to dial a number...

My friend was cleaning his laptop's keyboard...
I came back home to this..

!dev

Dear Airbnb Hosts,

The extra cleaning fee isn't just extra profit for you. I will gladly pick up after myself, before I leave. That said, if you expect me to deep clean your flat, consider leaving equipment to do so. If you send me a shitty email because I didn't buy a broom, mop, bucket and kitchen rags to stock your investment property, I'll tell you about where you can stick that noise.

Sincerely,
Fuck you

I download a lot of different stuff all the time. Often times I don't actually get around to cleaning it up. Thus, I decided I needed to build a script to further encourage my bad habits.

Here I've built a script for both Windows and Linux. It's designed to take all the files in the current directory and move them into their own folders based on their extensions. Why is this useful?

It's fucking useful when you're not having to swim through fucking mountains of content.

Anyways without any further ado here are the scripts.

Linux

#!/bin/bash
for i in *.*; do
filename=$(basename -- "$i")
extension="${filename##*.}"
extension="$extension"files
mkdir "$extension"
mv "$i" "$extension"
done

Windows

@echo off
for %%i in (*.*) do (
if not exist %%~xifile md %%~xifile
)
for %%i in (*.*) do (
if "%%i" NEQ "movingFiles.bat" move "%%i" "%%~xifile"
)

I decided to build a garden and not type for at least 12 hours, I needed a break.

I got a lot of flowers, they attract bees. The bees are out doing what they do best, I'm a supporter of bees. While cleaning off one flower, I freaked a few bees out, and my hands got stung.

12 hours just turned into 72 hours, and my colleagues are making buzzzz noises. I still love bees.

40gb, Hell yea!

Years ago we deployed this system with a SQL DB on a separate windows server.
Every now and then we had error messages saying that the system could not connect to the db. It was going on for about 5 minutes or so and then the db was up again.
We built a bunch of fallback logic to handle it gracefully.
Then one day one of the guys was in the "server room". It was not a real server room but like a dedicated office in another building.
He saw how the cleaning lady came in, unplugged the server's cable from the wall socket and plugged in the vacuum cleaner...

I guess I have waited long enough. It's time for me to start showing off my various devdesks.

This is post 1 of 2

Today I just finished cleaning up the "programming corner" of the robotics shop.

Here is where I do my robotics work almost every day. It is an amazing place to work and hopefully some more setup upgrades come soon.

Cleaning lady: *wants some tunes during work*
Me: "Sure, I wanted to listen to some music as well.. not sure if our genres match though 🤔"
Cleaning lady (CL): "So what kind of music do you listen to?"
Me: "Synthwave"
CL: "So um.. synthesizers?"
Me: "Well yes, but it kind of ties in with the dark side of technology.. the whole 1984 dystopian future etc. Privacy, lack of user freedom, etc."
CL: "So essentially cult music?"

TIL that the tech community is a cult for listening to synthwave. I bet she believes that tech peeps are lizards too.
*mentally slaps cleaning lady* - User!!

So I found this sticker while cleaning my desk. Now my work laptop looks better

WIP - Scarlet Witch project
AKA me collecting/cleaning/processing data while someone else will get the glory 😂

Client: it's not working
Me: clear your cache
Client: what's that
Me:it's a way of cleaning the files of your computer to get new ones.
Client: I cleaned my mac

I mean she literally got cleaning wipes ... and cleaned her computer

P.s I told her all this before and how to many, many times

So I'm cleaning up some buggy Java code when suddenly this dandy fine line appears:
if (new Double(a).toString() == "1.3") ...

Someone got paid for this :|

So my company hired a new UX girl last week, today is hers 3rd day at work.
Its 11.30 in the morning, I've been working for couple hours, on my custom module (if you have worked with drupal you know how stoked you are to write your own god damn code once in a while), im blasting some trance through the headphones. It is an early spring and the sky is clear. Perfect day non the less.
Out of nowhere this new UX girl appears near my desk, grabs my tea spoon without even asking and goes to stir her god damn tea. She throws it on the kitchen table without cleaning and goes to her desk.
I got so god damn triggered, this ruined my perfect mood for the upcoming 2 hours. Still cant think of a reason why she would do that, this is just plainly rude.

The most famous ranter in devRant (maybe) rants now due to cleaning.

LG Ultrawide 29" monitor
Logitech bluetooth keyboard K380
Logitech wireless mouse B175
Rubber ducky

LG UltraPC laptop (not in pic)
- Intel core i5 7th gen
- 8gb ram
- 256gb ssd + external 1tb hdd
- NVIDIA GeForce 940MX

Yeah didn't bother cleaning up perfectly. Anyways here's my setup 😊

I really hate when I have to help a coworker and then when I need to use their keyboard. is dirty AF, really disgusting! like c'mon, how is that I need to tell them that their keyboard could use a bit of cleaning

Found this fun folder cleaning out my drive.

Whatever Microsoft......I am deleting it either way.

Fuck today.

Today I was supposed to go into work and set up a dozen or so units for beta testing (its been a year and a half coming)..

Got up nice and early to get a head start on things. Stubbed (and broke) my motherfucking toe, then spilled my cereal milk on my laptop.. subsequently spend the following 2 hours tearing down and cleaning my poor little lappy. Get her all put back together, starting to feel a little better about the day. Push the power button, and fucking nothing but a tiny little fan noise for half a damn second.

With this luck I don't even want to move, lest a magic falling anvil decides to adorn my head..

Most unprofessional experience at work?

<about an hour ago> Went into the bathroom to do the morning deuce and there was crap all over the back of the seat. WTF!? Did you miss!? In our part of the building its only devs and network admins, so again, dudes, WTF!?

Oh, and never spit your gum out in the urinal. Its not a new, fun target for you to shoot at. *Somebody* is going to have to pick that nasty thing out. Our maintenance guys have hard enough job than cleaning up after 'so called' professionals.

Yesterday I was cleaning my computer and accidentally wiped out all my dev folder (I got confused with another folder named "dev" that I had just downloaded) and I lost all my work.

Fortunately, most of everything (or the most important at least) was on GIT. I only lost my yesterday's work which was not pushed (only locally committed).

Kids, remember pushing before leaving the building

"Are you going to finish this part or am I going to need to hire someone else?"

~ Asked by a client less than a week into cleaning up and upgrading his Drupal 6 site to Drupal 7 which hadn't been touched in 8 years... Right after pleading with me about how he had no budget and couldn't afford any hours of development.

So I host a few mining pools and some of the stories we hear from miners can be quite interesting. One of our miners recently had his front door busted off the hinges and a drug bust team go into his house and turn the house upside down. How did they determine that he was a threat for growing illegal drugs? Well he had a high power bill because of the miners and he grows flowers and food inside of his house and that was enough for THE NYPD to get a warrant.

Now he is responsible for cleaning up the mess the police made. What scares me the most is that they are tracking soil you buy online along with high power bills. What the hell USA im a proud Canadian

I spent 12 hours in front of the computer and was about to push my code so I started cleaning up some files and folders that I didn't need. My eyes were so tired, I did not realize that I put an asterisk after "rm -rf folder_name". Entered "ls" and it's all gone.

I wish I can tell you a more tragic story but I actually just backed up before that so I lost nothing. Run along now, nothing to see here.

I just cleared out 48,158 monitoring emails from work. These are all automated emails received between mid May and end of November. Outlook is now pouting in a corner and not responding, but I'm not done cleaning up yet...

So I bought myself some computer glasses after feeling uncomfortable looking at a screen with "bare" eyes (I don't wear corrective glasses).

But the other day, I lost them.

I looked for them everywhere, under each grain of dust I could find. They were nowhere to be found.

Reluctantly, I bought new ones. They arrived today, I unpack them, test them, and then do some flat cleaning. I lift some envelope and...

My first pair was sitting there, innocently.

Fuck me.

When you start cleaning your code after writing complete program

*Build project*
*Build failed*
- Arrrg! Lets try cleaning first.
*Clean project*
*Clean failed*
- ...
- What the FUCK! How does the clean fucking project fail?!? Just delete fucking output you pile of shit!

I love coming back to old code from when I was learning a new language and cleaning it up/making it better. It confirms that’s I’ve learned something :)

Staring at cursed blinking cursors.
Repairing work of worst thinking workers
Reverse merges or it'll murder the servers, it nurtures despair
Amateur managers, dimwitted savages interrupt all of us janitors
Cleaning up damages, spills and experiments using skills in embarrassment
Explicit foulness, in a minute it's straight to the bowels with weapons of limitless vowels
A bittersweet hateful machete, eviscerates stateful spaghetti
The slow disease flowing from keys knowing it's going to please
The growing unease, no one agrees, there's no guarantees with your useless degrees
Need more drugs, keyboard's crawling with bugs, falling as I chug
A bottle of cognac gotta love all the hacks, no poise for code that lacks
All the noise, gotta relax, before I destroy the syntax.

Excuse me for not making sense.
Too gloomy, aching and tense.

Keyboard cleaning time. Its nasty what kind of stuff you find there after a long time. :s

The cleaning lady saga continues yet again..

Here in Belgium, cleaning ladies are paid with cheques. All fine and dandy, and apparently the parent organization (Sodexo) even migrated to digital cheques. Amazing!!!

If only they did it properly.

Just now I received an email with my login data.
Login: ${FIRSTNAME}${FIRST2CHARSOFLASTNAME}
Password: I won't reveal the amount of characters.. but it's not even hex. It's just uppercase letters, and far from what I'd deem even remotely secure. Hopefully I'll be able to change that shitty password shortly, and not get it mailed back, even when I ask for recovery. Guess I'll have to check that later - the person who made that account was pretty incompetent when it comes to tech after all. Don't ask me why they did it instead of me. I honestly don't really know either.

With that said, this is a government organization after all... Can I really expect them to hash their passwords?

Cleaning up unused files and restructuring your home folder is so satisfying

A few years ago I was browsing Bash.org, and a user posted that he'd physically lost a machine.

A few weeks ago, I'd switched my router out for OPNSense. I figured it was time to start cleaning up my network.

Over the course of tracking down IP addresses and assigning statics to mac addresses, I spotted an IP I didn't recognize.

Being a home network, I'm pretty familiar with everything on the network by IP, so was a little taken aback.

I did some testing, found out that it was a Linux box. Cool.

I can SSH into it. Ok.

Logs show that it's running fine, no CPU/Memory/Harddrive issues. Nice.

So where is it?

Traceroute shows its connected directly to the router... Maybe over an unmanaged switch...

Hostname is "localhost"... That's no help.

I've walked the network 4 times now, and God knows where it is.

I think maybe I'll just leave it alone. If it ain't broke...

Client had our company build them a site, they refused our hosting suggestions, and did not want any maintenance on their site.

They eventually left us as a client all together(they were getting other services so they occasionally got an edit or two) and sent several rude emails to delete their passwords so we wouldn't have access to their stuff anymore. I gladly gave the site over to the new company with a solid "good luck." I wanted nothing to do with this client anymore anyway.

Now I'm 9 months down the line and my AM sends me an email that the client wants maintenance. I'm already typing up a ranting email to tell them no, when I decide to check the site. There are WordPress php errors all over the site.

Idk what this other company did, but I want nothing to do with cleaning up someone else's screwups. If I were freelance, this would be a HUGE up charge.

Cleaning kitchen

just rearranged my workstation 😊

!dev but still rant

So I'm a photocopier technician by day, alcoholic coder by night. Just spent 3 fucking hours trying to diagnose a black line on print outs, checked drums, dev units, toner cartridges, fusing unit, everything...

Called up one of the guys I work with and they said to come back with some samples to try and pin it down...

I turn around to leave and remember I didn't check the transfer belt and lo and behold it isn't cleaning and is smearing the paper...

3 fucking hours to work out such a simple error, I've had program breaking bugs diagnosed and fixed by then... ugh -.-

I had to clean my keyboard...
So i have to use this for today

Not cleaning before committing.
You'll probably see lots of /*unused codes*/ in my projects.

This Chinesium power supply looks disgusting 😷 I have no idea what shit this manufacturer put their hands into when they built this piece of garbage (that nonetheless works without blowing up, go figure) but it's all sticky 😐 I want to clean it up before putting it into a new enclosure, but I don't have an ultrasonic cleaner and don't really feel like desoldering all the components and giving it a washing. Are there any other cleaning options that are inexpensive and don't damage the components or the solder joints? Pure alcohol perhaps?

Time for cleaning up keyboard !

Time to clean the old tank 😈

When you're trying to clean your keyboard with a vacuum and the F10 key went missing...

I think we have to fire the new cleaning lady...

This morning there was this window cleaner again, that actually made me remember a rant from the old box - my previous account. Repost of that coming in an hour or so :3

Turns out that he came in the morning, and I completely forgot about it. The only appointment that I had today got canceled so I was like, eh fuck it. There's been this family event yesterday that made me so fucking tired... I'll just stay in bed for a little while longer.

Apparently that window cleaner ringed my bell multiple times, haven't heard him do it but anyway.. he and the cleaning lady had the genius idea to ask my landlord whether they can just barge in my home. Way to start the day, isn't it? I thought there were burglars.

In my bathrobe and visibly pissed off (I am NOT a morning person!), I let him do the window cleaning and waited for them to get the fuck out already. Then that cleaning lady, the fucking bitch that called my landlord to break into my home without MY prior permission!!! While the window cleaner was doing his work, she proceeds to ask me this.

Cleaning lady: "I had this technical issue earlier, and since you are good with phones I thought I'd ask you."
Me (thinking): oh, here it comes.. *rolling eyes*
M: "What's the issue?"
CL: "Well my stepson has an iPhone, which he broke and we brought it to a smartphone repair shop. They repaired it twice but an hour after receipt of the fixed phone, it breaks again."
M (t): You went wrong at iPhone, and you went wrong at visiting that incompetent mofo "teknishan" twice.
M: "Well I have no experience whatsoever with iPhones, but continue."
CL: "Well, he replaced the motherboard, and some pin at the bottom.."
M (t): The fucking motherboard of all things. The whole fucking motherboard?! The last thing that I'd look at, he just replaces like that?! Fucking piece of shit. That's even worse than Apple stores. And what's up with that goddamn pin? CAN'T YOU POSSIBLY BE A BIT MORE SPECIFIC?!
M: "Given only this information, I have no idea what's wrong with it."
CL: "But you are good with these things, aren't you?!"
M: "I disassemble my own broken phones, and dick around with their motherboards. That, while I'm fully aware that in the process I can break it beyond repair. That does not make me an expert on every phone out there."
CL: …

Well what did you even expect, fucking bitch. You barge into my home, don't even have the dignity to leave for me to be able to shower and dress myself, and then you go ask shit like that? Go suck my fucking cock, and shove that iPaperweight down your ass!! How about that?!

I thought that o reily books were a some sort of meme, but then i found this in my house while cleaning

Cleaning up my old code be like..

I am manually cleaning up my 200+ github repos.

Damn, this is tedious.

Ok folks so u complained and I listened. Today instead of prepping for technical interviews... And bc the weather is nice... I am doing Spring cleaning!

The Penguin's den 😅
(that is after cleaning up BTW)

Monitors are a full HD TV and a 12 years old 5:4 for legacy stuff.

Been cleaning to take stuff to recycle all day, when I found this...
My day is payed in full

Me: I need more programmers for the project.
Boss: You have 4 people, that's enough.
Me: I have 3 juniors taking 50% of time of a senior (me) contributing less than a medior and rest of my time goes to managing project. I know that in 6 months time invested in them will start paying off, but right now I need more people. Also I don't have me, by that logic, cleaning lady comes to the office every day and we couldn't work witout her, so there's 5 people, at least.
Boss: You'll manage.
Inner me: I would if I was working 8 hours as programmer without tutoring and managing.
Me: Sigh.

Never ever open a computer while breathing...
I got a ticket to fix a computer from the production line that was turning itself off...
When I opened it, a dark dust from hell came right into my lungs... There were more dust in there than I've ever seen in my entire life... Combined...

I'm still sneezing 3 hours later, and a few black spots keep coming out with everything else...

me: boss the server is full, no more disk space

boss: run my cleaning tool

me: it didnt clean anything!

boss: fix my cleaning tool

me: *facepalm* -_-

Confession!

I always have a pice of cloth with me whenever I work on my MacBook or my iPhone. I can't stand the finger prints that I
make on my iPhone or any small amount of dust on my MacBook screen. So I keep cleaning every while. Am I crazy?

!rant

Ducky Shine 6 SE ready for cleaning 😊

So, tonight I didn't really have much planned (I found out) so when I mentioned a side-remark my boss was quick to suggest an evening phone meeting, which I couldn't turn down...
So tonight we've cleaned and archived in our repositories, weeded out teams, member permissions, and such...

The thing is; I like my boss and he's much more of a friend, so when I mentioned that a cleaning would be good, he suggested to do it over a glass or two of something good :)
We ended up spending an hour or two getting a lot closer to the bottom of things — beer in hand and laughs in the air :)

Was cleaning up some of the old files on my system and found the first ever raycast program I had written.. in c++

This was during a time im pretty sure all of you guys just like me learnt the things that you could possibly do using code.

The experience of the first time I ran this and saw the sprites appear was the awe all of us have experienced in our own ways.

The reason I found this picture interesting is many of us end up losing the wonder and sense of excitement that got us into development in first place.

Go back , clean up your drives .. find your old code. I'm sure there is no better feeling than looking at the past you , writing bad code , with a probably bad language on a bad editor with sleepless nights to get nothing more than the output we wanted.

It's amazing when you realise everything is better when it's simple.

My wife's phone started having power button issues. Then it broke completely with spastic random presses, causing the phone to boot loop. It's a 3 year old Nexus 5 so I was mostly concerned with backing things up, not rescuing it.

Cleaning didn't work, tapping the switch didn't work. This hack worked.

Backup complete.

How to clean the new Macbook Pro ->
- Clean outside
- Open MacBook
- Mac boots up, fuck
- Shut mac down
- Clean the keyboard
- Accidently boot it up using Touch ID while cleaning inner aluminum, fuck
- Shut mac down again, because haven't done touchpad and screen yet
- Clean remaining parts
- Boot mac up

Efficient! :D

The weekend is here!!!
Time to go out and have fun!!!

Nah just joking. Time to write some quality code after cleaning our company's backend (pun definitely intended) all week!

I took wk119 to clean my desk and make my wife happy (for a short period of time).

WFH Setup has been rearranged shortly and is not finished. Most of the soldering/Arduino/Pi/drone stuff has been removed and will get a seperate workbench soon.

Lightning is not finished as i plan to reinstall the smart lightstripes again.

But hey , cleaning the desk is enough for this week :-)

36.63% of the respondents said they’re not planning to use any new programming languages in the coming 12 months.

But, 18.15% of them said they’re planning to use Python, while 16.83% said they’re planning to use Go, followed by JavaScript with 16.17%.

What about the tools?

Honestly, this was the hardest part of the report since it required very thorough data cleaning, and it turns out developer teams use a wide variety of tools, especially when it comes to testing and project management.

Looking for job opportunities, one grabbed my attention and I decided to apply. First, I had to fill a form with 40 questions, explaining and justifying development processes, best practices and overall knowledge. Ok, no problem. Form submitted, and I see a step 2. Now I have to build a single page site from scratch, and send another form with code, link, and more justifications regarding development. After that, my application will be sent.

Then I found this observation, saying the position was for a freelancer, that will receive work occasionally. Not a full time position as I thought.

Sometimes cleaning bathrooms sounds a better option.

It's only been a few years, might need a little refactoring.... The things you find when cleaning up old directory structures on forgotten hard drives...

Nothing like staying late at work to finish other people's work that they can't get done in time because they were doing side projects. Nevermind that I have two huge deadlines myself. Getting really tired of cleaning up other people's messes.

Currently work in HR and among others I used to recruit cleaning ladies. They often don't care to much for rules so sometimes one them just doesn't show up, doesn't answer phone calls or mails. Couple of years ago, one of our own colleagues did the same.. It is known among colleagues as 'pulling a Copperfield' as they just disappear. :)

Cleaning up code...

var screenshotPanel = $(this).parent().parent().parent().parent().next().next();

Kill me now.

Just deployed version 0.0.1 of my holiday project to production.

It's a pie "attached" to some speakers, mounted below the kitchen cubord. So far it only runs a spotify connect on it and you're able to play music there while cooking/cleaning.

I'd actually like it to also be able to just play regular music, either from a smartphone or a computer in the network. (It's connected by wifi to our lan). Any advice on what software I could install on it to achive that? i'd prefere to enable it for devices on the lan and have bluetouth dissabled, but I'm actually not sure if that is even possible. So yeah any advice to that? Or any other things you'd install on it?

I know, that I need to do some "cable management" back there :P

Friends of mine have a new flat.

It's a nice flat. Cheap. Noone wanted it. 100 square meters.

Reason noone wanted it...

Previous owners were bastards from hell.

Really. Every motherfucking room needed to be completely renovated by the owner.

Door frames were made of wood, nice and old - at least the part that was left of them. Splinters, scratch marks, partially broken out of the wall.

2 windows needed to be fully replaced. Rest of the windows needed to be bleached, PET abrasive cleaning solution and the frames needed repair with resin as they drilled into the frames. Then treatment with sealant of course.

Yes. There was no other solution. After bleaching you recognized the windows were white. Before... Let's not talk about it.

The previous owners even managed to destroy the bathtub.

The kitchen tiles... Fat cleaner. Bleaching. Abrasion. Polishing.

Soooo.

Day of moving.

The apartment is in the 6th floor / level.

Cran / lift was ordered.

16 people wanted to come.

7 people came.

2 including myself couldn't lift heavy stuff nor walk the stairs due to health issues.

Crane broke after first try.

Today. I want to murder the previous owners. After torture and crucification.

I'm feeling levels of pain I couldn't Imagine before.

Only hate and beer let's me keep my shit together.

I REALLY didn't think after renovating and cleaning the flat for my friends in the last several weeks that it could get worse.

Boy. I was wrong.

Thanks for letting me vent here. I really feel devastated currently -.-

And I need to help them tomorrow, too.

Bikini Atoll, tchernobyl and every other atom bomb desaster Zone combined looks better than the chaos in their flat.

Everyone who could lift shoved everything inside.

I solo carried everything that wasn't too large in the room and then, as every room looked like desaster, completely managed the kitchen (cleaning, unpacking, trash, placing everything where it belongs and so on) :( :(

Code fuckup day or what?! After two weeks where I wasn't on my project and a co-worker handled it, I came back to my project and reviewed what he had done so far.
Me: "I don't understand how this new code part here can work?"
Him: "Uhm, actually, it doesn't, somehow."
Me: "..."
Then he had checked in his stuff with spaces while the whole project is with tabs. And variables that were used in a different way, but still under the old name, now completely misleading. Bypassing existing infrastructure and defines with "just for this case" hacks. But the best was tracking higher level state by peeking into lower level data buffers, even pulling out their data definitions into global header files - instead of using proper states in the higher layer itself.
NOT! IN! MY! FUCKING! PROJECT!!!
So I spent the day cleaning up the shit to fight off software rot right in the beginning.

fan cleaning, thermal paste changing, printer fixing, browser updating. you know, usual dev stuff

So since everyone is sharing their setups and I just finished cleaning the desk, here it comes. The rice is still in progress since I switched to NixOS two days ago

Found this gem while cleaning up code:
.colorNavy { color: navy; }

This needs to be printed on a navy tshirt.

I am cleaning my room and I found this in a very dark and dusty corner

It's a Xbox 360 wireless controller adapter

1.5 hours of cleaning my mechanical keyboard after 2 years of usage. Kill me!!! But damn daskeaboard looks sexy when clean

So, I just put my PC back together after a thorough internal cleaning.

And I just stepped on a small screw.
FUCK IT. THE CASE IS COMING OFF AGAIN

When your wife is non-technical

It's normal to sit up until 6:00 AM cleaning your room, taking down Christmas decorations, and organizing your clothes, right?

I just cleaned all the node_modules on my hard drive. I feel healthier already.

have you ever felt having bad code ocd that you feel like you really need to clean this old project that you got assigned to fix, but cleaning the whole project up would take too much time and it is just not worth it . But you feel like you really need to do it...

If you are one of all those awesome developers and hackers and I only understand 20% of your rants then props to you and keep scrolling :-D

But if you are a young developer, fresh grad or just learning programming I have an idea, how about a mentor?

This literally just pop in my head right now while cleaning my kitchen!

I'd be learning along your side and also having lots of fun! I don't have any formal experience providing mentoring but have some education credits and patience.

I'm gonna stop the sales pitch because it's annoying even me! but Idk, i just thought that maybe there's someone else out there interested in mentoring services :P

Procrastination is weird... Their were a piece of code I wasn't looking forward to work on, so I started cleaning my apartment instead, putting some order in my files, and even tidy up my desk, which I didn't do for months 😐
And it finally took me 10min to actually write the code 😆
It's annoying, but I can't be the only one 🤔
At least I can enjoy a clean setup... Until it become a mess again...

Copying a javascript anonymous function (Yes, the whole function) 11 times with only one parameter changing
I'm currently cleaning it up...

O H B O Y F U N D A Y S I N C O M M I N G...

So I'm planning on ditching Google Play Store. Last step in my anti-Google action (apart from completely cleaning my old Gmail accounts)! I'm barely using it anymore anyways.

Only thing is, I need to find an alternative market. Not an easy journey :)

I was cleaning and found this draw I made at class when I was at university (the last days of the semester).

Title for the image?

"i was cleaning our society of such people"

he seems like a nice fellow

Bind learning c++ chapter 3

Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.

Found my baby while i was cleaning my room.

Someone else disturbing me while I'm thinking about technicalities. Makes me lose my shit because recollecting everything afterwards is often more difficult than the problem itself.

Note to self: tell cleaning lady to keep disturbances to a minimum when I'm working, and turn notifications on the Fandroids off before starting work. No I'm not interested in that Telegram message right now. And God bless OnePlus for putting in a physical slider for that.. more phone manufacturers should start doing this.

Well I WAS going to develop a side project on my day off today (a network of Arduinos and a Raspberry Pi) but the woman my wife hired to clean our house flaked-out, so now I get roped in to fucking housecleaning.
This was going to be an awesome day. Was gonna work on my project, chew some tobacco, and then go shooting, and out for wings for dinner. (where I live, chicken wings can be an entire meal)
Now I'm cleaning the shitter and scrubbing countertops because the little precious snowflake of a cleaning lady is in the middle of a (so-far) 3-day emotional breakdown.
Dear snowflake cleaning lady: Fucking learn IPv4 socket programming on the fly, when you've got an imminent deadline, and a crying, teething baby in the next room, at 3am, and don't fucking lose your cool at any point during all of this, then tell me about your fucking "emotional breakdown."

Not a dev related rant but more of a workplace rant.

I work in a business center with around 30 small offices. We share the common areas like kitchen, meeting rooms and bathroom.

Today, the cleaning lady told me to use the bathroom on the other side of the workplace because she spread bleach all over the men's restrooms floor.

The reason? Someone peed completely outside the toilet. I understand men can miss a couple of drops but a complete load? It's not the first time it has happened but I can only think he enjoys doing it.

I wish I had my own bathroom...

!dev :(

I am cleaning, disinfecting, bagging and sealing produce and deliver it in survival packs so people don't need to get out of their houses.

The country is in total lockdown, people are strongly encouraged to stay at home.
Bars, social activities and whatnot are closed.

Only excuse to be outside is to be buying groceries or going to the hospital.
Supermarkets only allow 1 person per household, so.

I've just realised something... I haven't ranted about work for a looooooong time.

It seems now all the monkeys have left the team and we've hired young people that actually knows how to get things done without blowing things up (though still need to work on documentation, bus factor still too high). So I'm no longer cleaning up their shit or the bugs they're too incompetent to analyze and fix...

! random story

Today i was cleaning my laptop and on right side of it i suddenly touched a button... !!!

!!!!SURPRISE !!!!

DVD player popped out.. and it's dusty as hell.. I was like what ?? How long this has been in laptop.. It's weird.. I never used it.. Why the heck we need it.. I didn't saw anybody holding dvd disc nowadays .. Man nobody uses those shit's anymore.. we have pen drives and External HDD's now. Why the heck manufacture's still keep these dvd player in Laptop's..

But it brought my childhood memories back though.. !!

hey dickhead, you could, at least, test everything is working after you merged your branch.Now you have leaving the company, i'm the one in charge of cleaning up your shit.

Hope you will eat a dick every time one of your program fail 'cause of your lack of test

So in C++ there is no garbage collector to clean up the mess u leave behind?

And now i feel like a garbage collector.... always cleaning up after monkeys... :(

My former housemates had a cat, they moved out and took said cat. Cat had fleas which I wasn't informed of.

Cleaning out the now vacant room with a can of flea spray in hand I utter:

"Now, my uninvited friends, sooner or later, even if I have to do it individually, by hand at times, I will find you all and I will squash you for I am a software developer and I deal with bugs all the time."

Read all questions before starting the test......

#3 is just SimpleDateFormat with some text cleaning.... Easy

#2 was the hardest....

I ran out of time... should've given up on #2 earlier....

God Damn cleaning lady managed to rip out the power chord to the company server... FML

My coffee cup! Came home one Christmas and mom had been cleaning up a storage room. I've given it too her when I was young, but she never used it because it was ugly and heavy. She wanted to throw it away, but I took it, and it has been on my desk from the first day I started my job.

Fuck my nozzle on my 3D printer broke when i was putting it back after cleaning.
Well lets write some code while new one arrives.

Another draw I found while cleaning my room. I made this on my last semester of the career at university.

Yeah, another Php. Remember the “Php elephant thong guy”? (Reference to another rant I posted) Here I’m fighting him with several programming languages. I remember that I made this because he only coded on php and jQuery, and I said to him “you’ll need to learn another languages if you want to apply to a new job”.

Which programming languages can you identify?

P.D. I don’t like PHP that much, I’d rather use Python or C#

That moment when code reuse makes you reuse reused code and you actually reuse a BUG.

You decide to go for code reusing when your boss asks: "Can you add an edit popup besides that 'add customer' popup button?". You do some little tweaks to the "new customer" code and it allows that to save over an existing entry, cool.

However, after a lot of time spent on reviewing the resulting PR, turns out there was a dormant bug on the code you reused, and it woke up with its new use.

That code was a bad copy-pasta from another, bigger form, which included a whole bunch of optional fields. As it was only used to save new entries, those now missing fields were simply being saved as empty. But as you reused that to save existing entries, you were now cleaning up all those optional fields without noticing.

> Drinking much because it's a hot day.
> Have to go to the toilet
> Cleaner is cleaning the toilets so nobody can go.

Every fucking time gaaaarh

You know what really grinds my gears? When people commit unfinished code and then my whole local application breaks! Oh, did I mention we're using SVN with one user instead of git? @!#$@%$^

Other programming languages and cleaning puppy shit.

Situation:
I'm coding in C# and take a coffee break, upon taking this break, I see something on devRant, Stack Overflow, or even just a random thought comes to mind.

Two hours later.
Written various snippets of code in JAVA, C++, PHP, JS - and have done nothing to do with my initial work.

In the above, I have cleaned puppy shit at least 10 times.

I was cleaning up my hard drive and deleted some old directories.
I was notified that my backup just started and wanted to look how far along it was.
However, instead of 'ls -l /mnt/DATA/Backup' my shitpile of muscle memory typed 'rm -rf /mnt/DATA/Backup'... That's when my harddrive suddenly had 750GB of free space and I decided that I probably need some sleep.

Before any of y'all wanna lecture me on off-site backups, funny thing: Today I implemented a new daily backup routine (praised be borg) and therefore deleted my somewhat chaotic Backups on my NAS "Because if shit hits the fan, I still have my local Backup"

!Rant
Had the best day at work today.
This summer I got to do a little work at the company my dad works. (typically cleaning and updating some machines. Stuff that the others don't have time for. Pretty boring)

Suddenly I get asked
"Have you ever developed for windows?"
I have only worked with Linux or Mac/ios (python and swift) so I told him I hadn't , but I could try.

Next thing I am making a system check program in c# (had to learn it on the fly) and I get paid to do it! I GOT FUCKING PAID TO PROGRAM! I don't have any education or whatsoever (only 17years old) but I got paid to do what I love😍😍😍

I am so excited to go to work tomorrow!

Hey guys.
Well I've been down last months due to a burn out and medication.
Last ween I finally got my first arduino, then second and two kits...
Now I'm addicted...
Stopped Proscriating with games.
Started learning electronics and shit, specially , started cleaning... And just did my first project :p

!rant

Wish me luck. I am done with the spaghetti mess.

There is a stock management system written using laravel and jQuery. There are mistakes in database structure. There are lots of I-dont-know-what-this-function-do-so-i-should-leave-it-alone codes. There are lots of repeated and duplicated functions.

Gonna start things from scratch and will also start using vue. This week's Thursday and Friday are public holidays here. I hope I can code my ass off and finish the migration/refactoring/cleaning shit by Sunday.

Hey guys.
So I finnaly did some cleaning :p so, I know I'm late, but this is my temple

Tonight I'd thought I'd get a make bulk iced coffee... A fairly easy task except I used the wrong container.....

Apparently not all plastic containers can hold hot liquid....

Spent an hour wiping coffee off the counter top, everything that was on it, and the floor... Probably need to give it a good cleaning with floor cleaner tmr too...

But yes there went my evening of relaxing....

That awkward moment when you stay late at the office and are blaring gangster rap and the cleaning guy comes around. #thuglife 😂😂😂

So, I was making a sort of "pre-autumn-cleaning" on some of my accounts (changing passwords, secret answers, canceling accounts/subscriptions, etc), when I arrive to devRant and go to the settings option just to found these options...

So... Really ಠ_ಠ? "Logout" and "Delete Account" are the only settings available via web browser?

I know that I can't expect the full range of settings that are present on the mobile app, but what the hell, I was expecting a little more than that...

Don't reuse your fixtures!

Each test case should be isolated. Don't ever think just because some function requires a similar input, it's safe to reuse it ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Why? Because someday, you want to change one functionality of one unit.

And you adapt your tests, fix your code, and suddenly, by changing one fixture, you break dozens if not hundreds of unrelated tests and now you have to clean up that mess.

It's even worse for functional tests with all those interwoven parts so that it becomes hard to reason about the scope of your tests when lacking proper documentation.

How I know? BECAUSE I AM CLEANING UP YOUR MESS RIGHT NOW!

Finally got the swag! After more than 2 years. Sent a mail for it to @dfox in 2016. You needed 20 upvotes to get the swag then. He sent it, but I never received. A month or so ago, was cleaning up my mailbox and came across the email, and thought would ping him again about it just for the sake of it! I finished college in 2017, got a job and moved to another city. Guess what?! He replied, gave him my updated address and he sent it again!

So thanks a lot @dfox!

This one is for @Fast-Nop

Both a rant and a joke/meme.

Its also funny because its true. Couple of teams (team responsible for orders and team responsible for accounting) are in seclusion in a meeting room right now cleaning up the web team's screw up.

You know how a normal developer will start writing a program, and then take the big pieces and split/refactor it; move hard coded things into functions that take arguments, and cleaning up along the way?

Our manager makes a tons of empty files, and empty directories, with how he thinks he wants to build something, and checks them all in. Tons of .gitkeep files in empty directories, blank Jenkinsfile, Dockerfile that doesn't build.

When he makes wiki documentation, there are tons of subsections, all of which are links to pages with "TODO" in them.

Dear god stop it you asshat! Stop making tons of empty files and pages. Write the thing in one chunk and then split it as needed like someone who actually knows how to engineer software!

So there are consequences to being an experimenter. Currently trying to develop my own smarthome, and last night, I was fixing up some lights. Just soldered some wires together, and hung it up by the outlet on the wall. And it worked!

But I didn't want it to just hang, so I moved it around a bit. And obviously because of my shitty soldering job, not really insulating anything, I created a short circuit, sparks everywhere, and blew a fuse in the electrical box. No problem, I'll just replace the fuse.. Except I didn't have any lying around, and it was 1am...

So I had to get up at 8am when the stores opened, and buy some fuses. Couldn't fall asleep again, so I started cleaning my apartment (I've possibly gone crazy from the electrical shock), and now I'm in my 3:30pm till midnight shift...

After days of cleaning and recycling I recovered a storage area filled of old stuff.
This is now my storage area...

A while back I spent weeks cleaning up our 20 or so .scss files, then went on vacation. Our backend guys were left alone to "float: left" and "position: absolute", literally everything.

I'm so tired of cleaning up scss files that I write "got ass *" instead of "git add *"...

People think Machine Learning is all about using Super Complex Prediction Models...
But turns out to devote most time in data gathering and data cleaning(preprocessing).

Being support Dev is like cleaning up someone else's shit.

Cleaning up after yourself if so damn important. Even your git repos:

# always be pruning
git fetch -p

# delete your merged branches
git branch --merged | grep -v master | xargs -n 1 git branch -d

# purge remote branches that are merged
git branch -r --merged | grep -v master | sed 's/origin\///' | xargs -n 1 git push --delete origin

Conns.
Cleaning buildings. Sup?

In my study program the is this last big course everyone is looking forward to because it combines everything we've learned so far. It's a group project where you build a middle-scale-ish application using ask kind of project management like scrum & co.

We had a good idea and am enthusiastic team.

Well, long story short: our assigned teacher was just bad. He barely listened to our proposal, had no fucking idea who we were at the second meeting and he FUCKING FELL ASLEEP in the last meeting. No feedback. No comments on our progress. Nothing. We could've work with the cleaning lady, she probably would've more feedback for us!

I lost my bike key in office yesterday and searched hell out of everywhere like in office, in my bag, in others bags (never know who can prank you), even we were searching in everyone's drawer but we were unable to find it so we went out an checked if I dropped it near canteen or anywhere out in office area using mobile flashlight at night for like 2 hours. So we just lost hopes and went to home by bus.

So today we went to shop and bought the new lock assembly and while we were heading back to office our QA called me laughing and telling "we found it, it was stuck in your chair and it fell out while the cleaning guy was cleaning it.!"

Luckily the shopkeeper took lock assembly back as it is laughing and gave us full refund.

Best debugging trick ever:

Wear your fucking glasses while coding so that you do not mistake COMMA(,) with a DOT (.).

So by
1. Doing that (which obviously aren't a huge number) and
2. Cleaning my screen (yes that).

I was able to wrap my head around the issue that almost wasted one day.
So what I intended to pass as string concatenation join operation value actually was being passed as an argument to the underlying function (that wasn't taking care of it and returning a timestamp from thin air).

Murphy's Law in production and practice.
Nice!

Depressing music continues......!

Have you ever been hangover at work?
What's the worst hangover you experienced?

I once puked on my keyboard (just a little bit) and spent the next 2 hours cleaning it in total silence while my coworkers couldn't stop laughing and making jokes ;_;

Found this when I was cleaning my hard drive. 😝

So... My parent's house is 40 years old.
I'm cleaning the corners... and my father as a DIY guy and a man that was never afraid to learn and update, there is so must useful junk, but also soooo many card boxes. He never throws them away, in case he needs to return the item.
So... I've been cleaning a 3 shelf open closet.
- have around 8 bags of cardboard, paper and newspappers for recycling.
- plus 2 bags of plastic.
- 4 bags filled with books for the local community center.
- a bag full of electronics to salvage.
And this only in 2 rows...
Man how could he store so much stuff in there I don't know, but this ends up being fun.
Also, one printer to salvage. :D
When it's over I get to own the shelf to store my stuff :D

Whoever programmed ATMA's roomba-style device… you really really need to improve your skills!
Yes… my room is L-shaped, but that doesn't mean one of the arms of the L doesn't need cleaning!! 😒

Just been cleaning out an old cupboard and found the book that really helped me to understand OOP ... Python for absolute beginners .. Before I picked it up, I was having a hard time getting my head around it all. Good times, good book :)

Back in NAM those who left the pointers without cleaning them we called them DESERTERS and made them sleep with the dogs.

!dev
Jesus Christ, if the cucks at this company don't start cleaning the coffee machine them-fucking-selves, I'm going to flip my shit.
There's been a chalk warning for about a month now and nobody is doing shit about it.
They leave the excess coffee powder in until either I clean it out or it literally starts to mold.
And it's not like they don't use it, everybody here drinks at least two cups a day, do you not care if it tastes at least a little all right!?
Nobody is ever going to get even a half decent cup out of this janky piece of shit.

You think you know agile? Which of the following is the most useless? Sort them in an ascending way (where 5 brings the most value) :

1) Product Owner
2) Project Coordinator
3) Project Lead
4) Front office
5) the cleaning lady

Imagine life as a Game,
Levels are Ages, if you have gotten older your level increases, and lifes getting easier and harder, easier with Knowledge and harder because of Diseases, challenges, kids etc...
Quests are life goals, such as having kids,
having a job, a family etc...
Side-Quests are jobs your getting from your boss, Jobs from Clients, Helping the Family, Cleaning your Room, etc..
Fast-Travel is Cars, Busses, Trains, Trams, etc... (Except in Germany)
and Last but not least,
Procastination, The End Boss of life, if you defeat Procastination you have beaten life... (But also died because the game is Over...)

A headache starts popping in my head like modals and popups on websites, so I decide I should take a pill and proceed to get myself some water (yeah, I cannot stand headaches for more than 2 minutes).

As I enter, the room is only populated with the "cleaning lady" (she's quite aged), I tell her "hi" and proceed to grab a glass of water.

"Hey, you are good in IT right?"

Oh fuck.

RUNNNNN.

That lady is impossible to escape once she wants to talk to you.

So my skills as a developer were used to configure her facebook...

Hope my headache starts leaving soon, it worsened by a factor of 9000 after that traumatic episode.

My laptop charger is dead and my laptop can't work without it. So, basically I can't even look at code.

Colleague calls, says there is a problem with package.json and it requires my immediate attention as the APIs need to be deployed.

Me enters Sherlock mode, and remembers that I have a git hook which took a backup of my code every time I pushed and saved it on my headless tiny CHIP.

I get excited, and do an SSH from my phone, hoping to see the faulty code/file. But all I see is an outdated repository because I am an idiot who forgot to turn the fucking CHIP on after I shut it down for cleaning.

This is the most anti climatic ending I have been ever part of.

Cleaning up a CSS file that was becoming out of hand... Found this gem:

.main-content .panel-body .alert {
margin: -19px -16px 20px -16px;
margin: -19px -16px 00px -16px;
}

14 years of age, couldnt go with to the beach with my sister the weekend (all older friends and they wanted to have fun) spent the weekend:

1. Waking up
2. Cleaning yard and garage
3. Finding old pc of my fathers
4. Him telling me he will tell me how to install windows 95 (we were not that up to speed with the latests trends at the time)
5. Running in and out installing and asking for commands on how to install things and run things

Fast faward a few years, im now a web developer working from home (recently retrenched) and my sister asking me to get a job where i work.

spent the whole day cleaning up someone else's html css on a page. too easy too boring 🙄

Refactoring/cleaning old code.. Found this gem:

$hour = substr($obj->hour, 0, - 3);

Turns out, hour was saved in the database as a TIME field(DATE was saved in another column) , and the previous genius dev was trying to output time in a H:i format...

No wonder php has such a bad reputation...

!rant

I've always been wondering why do tech companies need everyone to have a strong grasp of algos and data structures?

I've been coding most of my life but didn't get a CS degree so ended up in IT but I kind of want to get into a tech company as my thinking is the quality of code much higher (I spend a lot of time cleaning up other people's code and prod issues over the years...), I've been learning Algo/DS but when I see those technical questions on CareerCup, I go WTF.... it's this the kind of problems you guys do every day?

Always check if you are on the test or the prod system at least 1000 times before cleaning up the customers database.

This happend twice to my team.... At least our customers admins were pretty chill and said they learned something from this.

[NN]
Day3: the accuracy has gone to shit and continues to stay that way, despite me cleaning that damn data up.

Urghhhhhhhh

*bangs head against the wall, repeatedly*

Innovation week is upon us! Rejoice and delve into the years of tech debt to be refactored within one week!

Why does anyone pitch "innovation week" as a fun learning experience when a we are doing is cleaning under the rugs? We can barely get typical feature requests out the door in a week due to the overbearing demands of SAFe and Agile ceremonies.