Patience, Must Learn Patience.

Simply this

Noob advice

My advice for new devs, or to all of us :)

Don't forget to clean your monitor.

Don't be lazy and work in your code as someone else has to maintain it.

Nail it!

How many times?;)

A: What is a programmer's favorite hangout place?
B: Foo Bar

Weeks of programming can save you hours of planning.

Document your code, Don't give your variables silly names. Use git !!

When I accidentally double tap on someone's rant.

My boyfriend.

He's an amazing software developer, has a few more years of experience with me, and because he's not a colleague, I feel comfortable asking him dumb questions. Combined with his patience and willingness to explain things very thoroughly, it's helped my post college learning immensely.

I love that I can cook him dinner, and then go to him with a code smell that I found at work, and spend the meal discussing ways to make cleaner code. I'm not sure who the real winner is in that situation. Probably my employer, haha.

My first boss. He sat next to me yelling “Think before you code“, “Hands away from the keyboard“ and stuff like that at me while doing my first few codings ever. He even made me cry from the pressure. Afterwards he bought me a muffin and told me he wants me to be a better programmer than he ever was

At my old job we hired a junior developer. Turned out the junior knew more than all of us. I learnt a lot from him and it pushed me to update my knowledge and skill set!

Started off as an ok pitch. I was an advertgame developer at the time.

This company wanted a medieval styled platformer with a simple progression system that would integrate with their game store. Sounded like a fun project but when I created a planning and offer they immediately rejected it because they figured anything over 400 dollars was too much for a non AAA game...

Some people... lol

A social network for diabetic people.
I was the one who came up with the idea tbh
(It was a joke) Dia-buddies
(Hi Esben lol)

A news site and android app and of course free. I cried laughing.

Please make a game. It should be better than gta. Fml.

😂

A: There is not even a single forum for cyber security. Let's build one.
Me: Are you sure that there is not even a single forum?
A: Yes, I'm a cyber security expert. I have 5 years of experience in this field.
Me: **walks out quitely**

It's going to be Instagram, but better. I have lots of friends so it'll have lots of users.

Okay.... You have how many friends?

From the director of the department within a large investment bank: "We will be looking into converting all Java code to Cobol because it is easier to work with".

Needless to say I started looking for a new job that night.

Once a friend came to me asking for help building an app, I asked him what his idea was and he said, "It's an app that builds apps! Think about it, people could just tell it what kind of app they want and it could build anything for them automatically! Can you believe no one has done this?"

A social media alarm clock where people around the word will push the alarm button until you wake up.

I was going to be a wizard for Halloween, but since I am expected to perform magic year round at the request of clients, I might change it up for one night of the year.

"we know java right? We should make minecraft"

Classmate in college

Oh, I've got one.

Selfie trash can. It captures your selfie and uploads it to social media whenever you the throw trash, to promote usage of trash can!

Some people wanted me to implement an alternative to the Google PlayStore, which should someday replace the official PlayStore....

Yeah sure

At college (UK) and taking a general IT course (databases, programming, networking) a friend suggested "We should make our own network protocol." (The only language we had covered at the time was Visual Basic)

Some guy my girlfriend knows, heard I'm a software developer. He had this 'great' idea on how he wanted to start a new revolutionary way of paying on the internet. He wanted to create a service like paypal but without having the hassle of logging in first and going through a transaction. He wanted a literal "buy now" button on every major webshop on the internet. When I asked him how he thought that would work legally and security wise, he became a bit defensive and implied that since I'm the tech guy I should work out that kind of stuff. When the software was ready, he would have clients lined up for the service and his work would start.

I politely declined this great opportunity