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Sometimes I feel frontend development is like ancient magic:
Backend Dev: Oh no, I can't align this DIV properly.
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius on the DIV *
* Div aligns slightly better *
BE Dev: But it's not centered!
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Marginis Automaticus! *
* Rolls natural 1 *
* Everything collapses *
* Website is on fire *
* Product owner cries *
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius level 5 on the parent div *
* Everything looks beautiful *
* People are in awe *
FE Dev: You are welcome!
* Adjusts his robe and leaves *11 -
I found this in the HTML for Hackerrank. I started laughing and thought you guys would enjoy it as well.
8 -
LONG RANT AHEAD!
In my workplace (dev company) I am the only dev using Linux on my workstation. I joined project XX, a senior dev onboarded me. Downloaded the code, built the source, launched the app,.. BAM - an exception in catalina.out. ORM framework failed to map something.
mvn clean && mvn install
same thing happens again. I address this incident to sr dev and response is "well.... it works on my machine and has worked for all other devs. It must be your environment issue. Prolly linux is to blame?" So I spend another hour trying to dig up the bug. Narrowed it down to a single datamodel with ORM mapping annotation looking somewhat off. Fixed it.
mvn clean && mvn install
the app now works perfectly. Apparently this bug has been in the codebase for years and Windows used to mask it somehow w/o throwing an exception. God knows what undefined behaviour was happening in the background...
Months fly by and I'm invited to join another project. Sounds really cool! I get accesses, checkout the code, build it (after crossing the hell of VPNs on Linux). Run component 1/4 -- all goocy. run component 2,3/4 -- looks perfect. Run component 4/4 -- BAM: LinkageError. Turns out there is something wrong with OSGi dependencies as ClassLoader attempts to load the same class twice, from 2 different sources. Coworkers with Windows and MACs have never seen this kind of exception and lead dev replies with "I think you should use a normal environment for work rather than playing with your Linux". Wtf... It's java. Every env is "normal env" for JVM! I do some digging. One day passes by.. second one.. third.. the weekend.. The next Friday comes and I still haven't succeeded to launch component #4. Eventually I give up (since I cannot charge a client for a week I spent trying to set up my env) and walk away from that project. Ever since this LinkageError was always in my mind, for some reason I could not let it go. It was driving me CRAZY! So half a year passes by and one of the project devs gets a new MB pro. 2 days later I get a PM: "umm.. were you the one who used to get LinkageError while starting component #4 up?". You guys have NO IDEA how happy his message made me. I mean... I was frickin HIGH: all smiling, singing, even dancing behind my desk!! Apparently the guy had the same problem I did. Except he was familiar with the project quite well. It took 3 more days for him to figure out what was wrong and fix it. And it indeed was an error in the project -- not my "abnormal Linux env"! And again for some hell knows what reason Windows was masking a mistake in the codebase and not popping an error where it must have popped. Linux on the other hand found the error and crashed the app immediatelly so the product would not be shipped with God knows what bugs...
I do not mean to bring up a flame war or smth, but It's obvious I've kind of saved 2 projects from "undefined magical behaviour" by just using Linux. I guess what I really wanted to say is that no matter how good dev you are, whether you are a sr, lead or chief dev, if your coworker (let it be another sr or a jr dev) says he gets an error and YOU cannot figure out what the heck is wrong, you should not blame the dev or an environment w/o knowing it for a fact. If something is not working - figure out the WHATs and WHYs first. Analyze, compare data to other envs,... Not only you will help a new guy to join your team but also you'll learn something new. And in some cases something crucial, e.g. a serious messup in the codebase.11 -
So my landlord just came up and asked why I'm using so much bandwidth (they've just had a new line installed so they're monitoring it like hell for some reason) so we had a chat, I told him I'm a Web Developer so I'm uploading and downloading a load, and bare in mind this is student housing, he offered to install a wired connection in my flat only so I'll have a decent and stable connection when all the other students come back in September.
This is the first time in my life I feel like I'm not paying enough rent!8 -
I was presenting a paper about "P5.js". My line began with "P5.js is a javascript library ... (and I went on)".
After my conclusion one of the judges asked me "Is this based on JavaScript?"
My reply "No sir, Magic!".
(Funny part - Got first prize.)6 -
I noticed that I frequently notice patterns in my ++ count
I may have a slight obsession with numbers. There are too many screenshots with numbers in my gallery
This is also kind of an evolution of my avatar and my ++ count
25 -
Six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen?
2. That doesn't happen on my machine?
3. That shouldn't happen?
4. Why does that happen?
5. OH, I SEE!
6. How did that ever work?1 -
Dells XPS are made of magic. [long story, major fuckup, 10k+ damages]
It all started in December. One morning I was late to work, drove there as fast as possible. (I live like 3 minutes away so me being late really meant *late*) Parked my car in a secluded car park, grabbed my backpack and ran to work. The car park is like 100 meters away from work so I took my feet into my hands and ran. Next thing I know my heels loose all grip while I go down a small slope and I drop on my back full force. On a sharp edged stone. With only my 1700$ XPS in it. Fuck.
I paniced, but got up and ran to work. I checked on the notebook, praying it would boot. It booted! Holy shit. I flipped the notebook and saw two small dents in the aluminum shell. I was thorougly impressed. I later discovered that it left a small shadow on the display, but given what a hit that was (I am not exactly a lightweight), impressive would be a massive understatement.
Fast forward to February, I am weighing my options to get the screen replaced maybe, as damage on my hardware (even if neglectable) triggers some sort of OCD and makes me feel bad 24/7. Also my laptop tends to shut off from time to time, looked into the Event Viewer and saw kernel panic. I figured that the battery probably still took a hit and that it drops voltage from time to time and the kernel assumes a critical situation, thus shutting off.
It stayed quite snowy in Austria up until March, so occasional snowing wasn't rare. Got out of work one day, saw it snowed a bit. Whatever. I had my moms car at the time, so I tried if it would slide a bit if I donut on the now (5pm) empty parking space. Nothing. Drove done a small hill, ABS triangle lit up red (board computer can't outbalance the snow). I drove out to the main street where everything was salted and drove along towards my house. Took a turn into my street, accelerated for a bit and then went off the gas so the car would smoothly drive along with the speed slowly degrading. So I went off the gas and noticed I was a bit to the right, no wonder, centrifugal forces.
*steers left*
"Huh seems like I need a bit more"
*car still doesnt move much*
"What the- go to the left!"
*steers left hard*
"Fuck that wall is coming closer"
*Breaks*
*car doesnt break*
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"
Everything got quiet in seconds, me waking up to an open airbag, ripped pants, a hurting wrist, the radio somewhere on the ground and fumes that smellt like burning wires. I grabbed my backpack that was now somewhere on the floor instead of on the seat and ran outside, tears in my eyes and the phone on my ear calling my mom. I walked inside as she walked outside, hearing a weeping scream that I haven't heard from her since I am alive. While walking inside I noticed my backpack was wet on the bottom, my 2 litre water jug shattered when my backpack hit the dashboard. I tried to stay calm and act rational, knowing that every second counts when It comes to water damage. I hastely searched for some rice and a bag to put my laptop into, stuffed the bag with both and went outside. The car was totaled, my mom pissed and crying. And I was in shock, sad, angry and hurting.
I kept the laptop on my heater for a few days, bagged in rice. I dared to try a boot after a while and you wont believe me, it fucking booted. Even the keyboard backlight worked, just the screen was obviously broken in the back (no color distortion or bad pixel rows though!!) and the aluminum shell had a dent on the front. I talked with Dell Support a few days later, asking if it would be ok to open the XPS up so I could drain all of the water. She said yes thats fine, as long as I dont touch anything or screw around with it.
She said I can send it in and get it checked, but the pickup and analysis will cost 150$ and I can go from there.
I sent it in and estimated that, because battery, screen and other things probably needed changing, it will be around 900$.
Got a call a few weeks later:
"Hello beggarboy, the repair team reported back to us and said that they will have to replace everything, which will be 1700$."
"Fuck... Buying a new one is cheaper.."
"Yeah I know I am sorry about that, I can offer you a voucher so you can buy a new one for 250$ off if you would prefer that"
"Sorry but I will need some time to consider"
"I understand."
The agent clearly noticed I was bummed about it.
After going back and forth what to do I got another call a few days later.
"Hello beggarboy, we talked a few days ago. I have good news"
"Hello, yes, speak up?"
"I was able to get a special offer for you after putting in a few words..."
The next thing she said seemed unreal to me.
She was able to cut 600$ (!!!), making the new offer 1100$, instead of 1700$ or a new one for 1500$. I figured the reason she probably did that was because I am always very polite with support members. Always.
My XPS is back and healty again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dells XPS are made of magic.15 -
Chat with user:
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: IT please come to my place i don't have internet connection and i need to finish my work, please please come quickly
Me: Are you in your computer?
User: Yeah.
Me: Amm, and how are you chatting with me?2 -
Her "it's just a Web portal how long can it take"
Me "it's a completely custom content management system. It will take time."
Her "well how long then?"
Me "a good six/seven weeks. With a lot of overtime."
Her "oh don't be so dramatic, just use WordPress."10 -
Adding in a sleep(3) so my program looks like it's doing something, and not just throwing an error *straight* away, at least it will look like it tried...3
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Desperately searching stackoverflow for an answers. NOT FOUND. Posting it as a question. MARKED DUPLICATE! What kind of sorcery is this? :D5
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Just thought that there should be a Harry Potter based code camp where the four houses represents a language that you are learning at the camp.
For example, Gryffindor can be ruby, Hufflepuff can be Javascript, Ravenclaw can be PHP and, of course, Python is Slytherin.14 -
Witchcraft: Code that has been optimized to a point at which even its author has no concept of exactly how it works, only what it is used for.1
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Since there's no such thing as Black Friday in my country, when I first heard about it, I thought it's a gathering for wizards and black magicians to perform some rituals.10
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Power efficiency beyond this world.
I think I got Chuck Norris's laptop.
My MacBook WILL NOT FAIL ME, AT ANY COST. It nearly died... I felt sorry for it, I had to pet it later...
10 -
I just told a colleague of mine, and worst programmer i got to know, to call me the alchemist.
Because I'm the one turning his shit to gold -
After disappearing since March, it makes me happy to see you all still hate your bosses and colleagues just as much as before.
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Everytime I see the tag 'geek' on here I die a bit inside. We're all geeks, you ain't special boy!4
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DON'T LIST A JOB UNDER "PHP DEVELOPER REQUIRED" IF THE SPECIFICATIONS MENTION NOTHING ABOUT PHP BUT ASK FOR WORDPRESS AND WOO COMMERCE EXPERIENCE YOU UTTER BLOODY GRAVY BOAT7
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So you're telling me, that "margin-bottom: 10%" was more unreasonable than this?
I swear to God maintaining code is just absurd...
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Just solved two huge bugs in a private project without using Stack Overflow... Since when am I even able to do this? What happened to me?2
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DFox & T-rogus: Dafuq do you put in your algo? It's frikin insane how many times people notice completely related rants side-by-side or even weird replies to rants below the rant itself in our feed. What is this sorcery?9
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> Le me compiling an OS:
> something errored out in config
> checked the config, literally changed nothing
> tried again, now it works :/3 -
Finally bought a smart watch! I can now be even less productive! (petition to make devRant smartwatch compatible) 😂13
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do you ever get that feeling when you suddenly wake up from sleep and immediately have the solution that has been bothering you for weeks or is it just me?
it happened to me today. woke up and magically had a solution to a problem I had with unity (it works now).6 -
Facebook from another perspective. Apparently hundreds of 15TB nodes die there every friggin day, and yet no single post is erased 🤔
7 -
So I came back to my hometown for Chinese New Year (or Lunar New Year), the first thing I was asked by my parents was "Can you fix the landline?" 🙃🙃🙃3
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Since I moved from pure dev to Code Forensics, and studying with Forensic Computing students (who do one module on security), the amount of Kali Linux wallpapers on a Windows machine is overwhelming.
It's like the entire class watched three episodes of Mr Robot and now thinks they can change the world with a goddamn semester of teaching!4 -
!rant
Is it just me or does being a programmer sometimes feel like being a magician. It's such a weird profession. You're living in a bubble, nothing you create is physically tangible, yet anything is possible, and there is always more learn.
Most of the time it's art. Commenting out dead or obsolete code instead of removing it just because it feels like you put a little bit of yourself into it, even though it has no use anymore.
I sometimes wonder if there is any other profession out there that makes you ride the same rollercoaster of satisfaction, frustration, glory and defeat we've all been on.3 -
The moment of fucking blindness when alt-tabbing between a dark text editor and a white website.
I think if I do it any faster I'll get epilepsy -
Woohoo!!! I made it to 1000++s :) Now I feel less newbie-like around here :)
So... I don't want to shit-post, so in gratitude to all you guys for this awesome community you've built, specially @trogus and @dfox, I'll post here a list of my ideas/projects for the future, so you guys can have something to talk about or at least laugh at.
Here we go!
Current Project: Ensayador.
It's a webapp that intends to ease and help students write essays. I'm making it with history students in mind, but it should also help in other discipline's essay production. It will store the thesis, arguments, keywords and bibliography so students can create a guideline before the moment of writting. It will also let students catalogue their reads with the same fields they'd use for an essay: that is thesis, arguments, keywords and bibliography, for their further use in other essays. The bibliography field will consist on foreign keys to reads catalogued. The idea is to build upon the models natural/logical relations.
Apps: All the apps that will come next could be integrated in just one big app that I would call "ChatPo" ("Po" is a contextual word we use in my country when we end sentences, I think it derived from "Pues"). But I guess it's better to think about them as different apps, just so I don't find myself lost in a neverending side-project.
A subchat(similar to a subreddit)-based chat app:
An app where people can join/create sub-chats where they can talk about things they are interested in. In my country, this is normally done by facebook groups making a whatsapp group and posting the link in the group, but I think that an integrated app would let people find/create/join groups more easily. I'm not sure if this should work with nicknames or real names and phone numbers, but let's save that for the future.
A slack clone:
Yes, you read it right. I want to make a slack clone. You see, in my country, enterprise communications are shitty as hell: everything consists in emails and informal whatsapp groups. Slack solves all these problems, but nobody even knows what it is over here. I think a more localized solution would be perfect to fill this void, and it would be cool to make it myself (with a team of friends of course), and hopefully profit out of it.
A labour chat-app marketplace:
This is a big hybrid I'd like to make based on the premise of contracting services on a reliable manner and paying through the app. "Are you in need of a plumber, but don't know where to find a reliable one? Maybe you want a new look on your wall, but don't want to paint it yourself? Don't worry, we got you covered. In <Insert app name> you can find a professional perfect to suit your needs. Payment? It's just a tap away!". I guess you get the idea. I think wechat made something like this, I wonder how it worked out.
* Why so many chat apps? Well... I want to learn Erlang, it is something close to mythical to me, and it's perfect for the backend of a comms app. So I want to learn it and put it in practice in any of these ideas.*
Videogames:
Flat-land arena: A top down arena game based on the book "flat land". Different symmetrical shapes will fight on a 2d plane of existence, having different rotating and moving speeds, and attack mechanics. For example, the triangle could have a "lance" on the front, making it agressive but leaving the rest defenseless. The field of view will be small, but there'll be a 2d POV all around the screen, which will consist on a line that fills with the colors of surrounding objects, scaling from dark colors to lighter colors to give a sense of distance.
This read could help understand the concept better:
http://eldritchpress.org/eaa/...
A 2D darksouls-like class based adventure: I've thought very little about this, but it's a project I'm considering to build with my brothers. I hope we can make it.
Imposible/distant future projects:
History-reading AI: History is best teached when you start from a linguistic approach. That is, you first teach both the disciplinar vocabulary and the propper keywords, and from that you build on causality's logic. It would be cool to make an AI recognize keywords and disciplinary vocabulary to make sense of historical texts and maybe reformat them into another text/platform/database. (this is very close to the next idea)
Extensive Historical DB: A database containing the most historical phenomena posible, which is crazy, I know. It would be a neverending iterative software in which, through historical documents, it would store historical process, events, dates, figures, etc. All this would then be presented in a webapp in which you could query historical data and it would return it in a wikipedia like manner, but much more concize and prioritized, with links to documents about the data requested. This could be automated to an extent by History-reading AI.
I'm out of characters, but this was fun. Plus, I don't want this to be any more cringy than it already is.12 -
I got a magical IR remote!
When i press and hold that button to dim down my RGB LED strip, my Bluetooth speaker turns on!
9 -
My Task: Create a new application in a custom C#-Framework, to replace screens from the old application.
Me:Fine.
The old application has a Java Frontend.
Me:Fine.
The old application has an Oracle-DB.
Me:Fine.
The old application has its logic fully on the DB.
Me:What ??
You cannot connect to the DB via ODBC.
Me:But why ???
You cannot use external libraries, just our framework.
Me: For what are you thinking i can use to call the functions on the DB
You have to use a custom connection-bus which uses JDBC
Me:Fine.
This connection-bus cannot call SQL Statements and return the result.
Me:WTF, how should i get the data out of the Database ?
We don't know find a way.
Me:Ahh fuck off.3 -
"Programming language is a convention to give order to computer. It is not supposed to be obscure, bizarre and full of subtlz traps. These are the characteristics of magic" - Dave Small9
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I was going to be a wizard for Halloween, but since I am expected to perform magic year round at the request of clients, I might change it up for one night of the year.1
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Colleague: I have an error in my application, can you help me?
Me: Sure
*walks next to him*
Me: So... What is it?
Colleague: Here, it won't run
*launches the application and runs perfectly*
Colleague: Tell me your secret senpai6 -
yes dear colleague, it is totally fine to send me a ticket without your name in it, about a legacy website I know nothing of, that recently migrated away and is now on a server we don't maintain and for which I don't have the login credentials. I also can't log into it's CMS because, you guessed it, they changed the password after migration. But sure, just assume that I can do magic and solve the ticket just because the customer has been calling you and you got fed up with her and you wanted to go on holidays. advsfrgghsaffs!!!
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When you add comments and your code isn't working so you just leave it alone for 2 hours and when you come back it works3
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My refresh button on my mouse is coming loose and is about to fall off, how dare this £11.99 mouse not last for upwards of three years, it's an outrage!
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It's 03:43 bst here and the dicks across the hall are still playing ridiculously loud music, and despite me asking them to shut up since I'm in work at 7 they refused. A quick nmap and I have the mac of the desktop playing the music....7
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Lately I feel like my job mostly consists of placing cookie banners, and calming down customers on the phone who freak out that they don't have a cookie banner and a privacy statement yet - OMG the deadline is tomorrow 😱😱😱. It's like suddenly everyone suddenly remembers they have a website. And of course everything needs to be done yesterday. Sorry, I'm not a magician.6
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Today I built an ASP.NET Core 2.0 Rest-Api within a docker-container.
Then I ran a docker-container with the compiled ASP.NET Core 2.0 app behind a nginx router.
It was purely magic!
:)2 -
I think devRant should add an Ask A Dev section, since I always feel intimidated using stack and I can't be the only one...9
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Why in the fucking world did I decide to manually use @media screen in CSS instead of Bootstrap, I'm down to 212px wide screen now just because I can't stand that SOMEBODY might have a bloody screen that size.9
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Humph. Just remembered something pretty cool. Last year I had a great math teacher and tech teacher. My class on the other hand: not great except my friends. We were being taught c++ in tech class and man were these kids the laziest i've ever seen. Just creeping up behind me and copying the code. Tech teacher walks up and opens up stack overflow on the kid's pc and walks away. Later during math class our teacher overhears kids talking about pokemon go. She then gets really excited and talks about how fun ar is to code and asks if any of the kids need c++ help. Turns out she had quit a dev position to become a teacher and give back to the community. She left halfway through the schoolyear because she was pregnant though. Needless to say most of my class caught the coding bug and it was thanks to both those teachers. The math teacher came back at the beginning of the year but then I moved back to the USA.
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Turns out cpp isn't the terrifying monster it used to be! I must be doing something wrong, it's actually working.4
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I received this special picture per WhatsApp. It changes its color the first time while downloading and the second time after you tap on it.
It goes from about #ff96e1 to #42000d
(Yes, I know these Thumbnail-Faker but in this case it keeps changing its color even after opening and closing the pic multiple times)
I did not find anything by inspecting it on PC...
Does anyone have an idea how it works?
23 -
A blend of Laracasts and Laravels surprisingly good documentation has led to this beautiful moment.
9 -
And now the bloody client that can't pay me is asking me to remove the search feature I spent days implementing as she'd asked me to not a week ago. She doesn't seem to realise I develop for money, I don't develop for good will and positive vibes.8
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Thank you all for helping me to my first real goal, 1k! Thank you all! Love this community so much! Let’s continue that.
5 -
idk if I´m getting better in coding or Android Studio is using some "black magic" but after working on a project for like 2 hours it compiled without any error.
2 -
Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't take it anymore with his problems. His life was a burden and he felt that nothing could be worse than that.
One day, a wise sorcerer came and knocked on his door. He offered the man an unexpected gift : the man could choose one person in the whole world and switch his life with theirs.
The man then started to travel across the world to find someone who had a better life than him. He met with wonderful people, he saw their lives, he learned their ways and soon found out that everyone had their problems, and everyone's life was as shitty as his.
So he switched his life with the sorcerer's, because being a motherfucking sorcerer kicks ass anyway.2 -
Twenty five goddamn minutes finding an incorrect quote mark in a bloody massive query of mySQL, I need a beer.1
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I now know why I'm a developer and not a designer, it's so fucking hard like it's goddamn bootstrap that shit is basically built for me but it still looks like an egg took a shit on a toaster
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Does anybody else's devRant flash open the closed then open again when they press the app icon on Android?11
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Jumping back and revisiting some basics of game development that I've ignored for a while and decided to follow a tutorial for building a 2D minecraft clone just to see how easy it is to incorporate some of my engines capabilities...
Every single fucking function he is creating does not have arguments and instead uses hard coded numbers repeated throughout... Fucking send help8 -
Being a programmer is like being Nic Cage characters.
Some days you're kicking a bear in the gut, others you wanna rip your own face off1 -
!dev but since dev can still give you headaches:
Ibuprofen is damn close to magical. I fully understand the chemical mechanism by which it works, and it still don’t make sense how that shit can make you a new person in 45 minutes.2 -
i love to actually understand how the code works! like you're writing some text and surprise - it does magic? no. it goes deeper than that. and when you understand those concepts, coding becomes more serious/fun and interesting1
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devRant is great because it keeps me in the mood to programme, create and envision new projects. Cheers guys.1
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Worked on a WordPress Multisite project that required digging around to find ways to hook into areas that weren’t meant to be hooked, create and add custom core files that would withstand updates, ensure certain plugin capabilities were available even if the current site didn’t load them, and a variety of other black magic that I’m too fried to remember off the top of my head.
By the end of the project I more or less felt like a god in WordPress—There’s little I could ever want to get it to do that I didn’t know how to do.
Then again, this is all probably a long way of saying I learned some very bad ways to do things. Mercifully, it’s fully documented with PHPdoc blocks down to the loop level so that even a 3-year-old should be able to figure out the logic...
All this to say, I’m definitely ready for a new project.3 -
I think the -f flag in apt-get means "fucking install it". Whenever apt reports some dependency error shit, I'll just do "apt-get install -f" and it magically fucking works.4
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Emailing about a stray error message with a service. He asked me to send a screenshot of the error. So I do.
In the tabs bar, it's clearly written "how to print screen on linux" JESUS FUCKING CHRIST kill me1 -
no dear customer. checking a new feature on live while I sent you a link to our test server won't work. Again: devs aren't magicians.
NB: I usually enjoyed working with that customer a lot, but their mind really had a day off today.1 -
Ah, installing a program... I never thought it would be easier on Windows. But Lord, the amount of broken repositories my Linux seems to have after just one week is heart breaking. I only bloody wanted to install apache...
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I feel like I'm the only person in the world who likes Visual Code from Microsoft as my default editor, I'm considering scrapping Atom for it.5
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My first contractor company 3 years ago, I was only junior with 3 other senior devs. I was assigned a project implemented by other company. So I am reading code and it’s total mess and then I find comment in controller that says “// some magic here, don’t touch it”, turns out that piece of code was added by our lead developer.
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Anybody tried developing a chrome extension? I'm bloody lost, with LITERALLY trying to get a goddamn Hello World.
This is worse than when I tried editing in Vim.
Or worse yet, Java.3 -
Ready...
> access security
access: PERMISSION DENIED.
> access security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.
> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED...and...
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
YOU DIDN'T SAY THE MAGIC WORD!
3 -
I COULDNT GET THE WIFI TO WORK, THAT WAS ALL, AND NOW THIS SHIT fuck it all I'm going to bed then waking up and switching to an Outdoor Leadership degree.
4 -
W8 wut?! O.o
How the hell is someone gonna hack my computer using calculator?!
Also WTH?! I don't even know what that built in admin BS is in win10, let alone how to log in with this o.O
4 -
CSS Grids...
I followed a tutorial, attempted to do what I wanted, worked the first time AND without any weird side effects elsewhere! What is this magic?! :O4 -
So Ive to make new screens in xaml in combination with C# (WPF)
So I had something like this in the codebehind
titleBox.Text = Properties.Resources.someKey
The resources looks like
<data name="someKey">
<value>some text</value> <!-- this is some comment --> <!-- and another one -->
</data>
The title got as value "and another one", when I removed it it became "this is some comment" removing that resulted in the value "some text"2 -
Ahhh I've hit 1800 points, if anybody likes any of my posts or comments, I'm coming for you, and I WILL change all your inverted commas for backticks.6
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So note to self, when creating random IDs, maybe generating 1,000 digit long IDs constantly is the source of that massive ram spike and subsequent crash...3
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Well guys I was wrong the other day, Laravel is the most beautiful PHP Framework I've used to date.2
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Our company recently moved to git and the number of people who do not understand basic git concepts like commit and push are too damn high! I don' get it, its a completely logical model, what is so hard to understand.4
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The feeling when your brothers think you are a magician cuz you play music by pressing lemons with arduino.
Then they tried and it didn't work ubless I was holding them.
Magic!
When life gives you lemons, don't do a lemonade. Do an arduino program and play!1 -
I have a dream, one day I would like to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, master magic there and then make fucking javascript disappear.5
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Shoutout to all my fellow ranters with boring ass non dev related jobs! Working in a shop to get myself through uni sucks3
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Seeing the phrases and language and different APIs and platforms and various versions of everything everybody talks about makes me feel even less prepared to enter the industry properly when I leave University.
I'm going being a WordPress specialist.6 -
Last week I received an invitation to lead the development of a e-commerce redesign, replatforming and data migration. I was excited to work on it, and started the analysis and planning, glad to spend time focusing on quality. But Murphy's law is never asleep - this Monday, I was asked to speed things up and reduce a 4 month project to 1 week.
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Just had a customer into my shop. A regular chap but we've never really spoken before. Turns out he's a system architect for British Aerospace Engineering, a huge company up here in the north of England. So we were chatting about what I study and what he does and I said, if I come out with a first or solid/high 2:1 in my software engineering degree, would that qualify me for an entry level at your place, and he said no. Hrs part of the interviewing panel, and he wouldn't even consider people my age (23 at time of qualification) without at least having another job in the field, and said most places would be the same. So let's say I decided to not go in for anything Web development and focused on C++, is there any sort of way you guys know of gaining experience in the field without first having another job? As mentioned I do freelance Web development, but do you think having a large Github portfolio and such would help me stand a chance? I know I'll need to take a lower tier job straight out of uni in the field, but as something to help speed the process along...6
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So I started using Git! So far, I've committed my .gitignore file, whatever that is... And I can't get anything else to commit....
I'm gonna commit....4 -
Tired of recruiters sending copy pasted job descriptions on linkedin. Asked them in my summary to use some specified word if they actually read my profile1
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I published my first ever thing! Sure it's only a chrome new tab page but I did it! Check out compTab2
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Good code is like a good video game. When you read it first time, it feels like magic, and you feel like it does more than it actually can.1
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There's two types of people in this world, those who don't like regex, and magical otherworldly beings, luckily for me, I'm the latter
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!rant
Today I got access to the code for the new contract I’m working on.
It all built first time from source.
I’ve never wept such joyful tears. -
Client can't pay me and has asked to pay me in four installments spread across on month. Surely to all hell, if you don't have the money, don't hire a goddamn developer!
This job was decided before I got advice from you guys about getting a contract as well!4 -
Moving flats in about an hour, wrapped my desktop in multiple blankets and bubble wrap, and that times ten for my monitors, I'm fearing for my life here guys4
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So here's mine!
It's a github for the more artistic; a place for designers, photographers, and stylists to post their work. You can choose to make your work interactive, so others can comment, or you can simply present your work. A professional option is given to present your work in a professional, clean manner with a short URl to attach to a CV or such.
Users choose whether to release their work under Creative Commons, or which attributes they wish, so students can use them in their research.
It also serves as a community and a place to collaborate.
6 -
I thought nested list comprehensions in haskell were hard.
Until I tried to make a non fixed footer that stays on the bottom.3 -
Is there any sense in using git for a personal project of which I'm the sole dev? Just as a way to learn version control and such, or is it nothing like what it would be as a larger team?14
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This made my day, my c++ watch face got featured in the Nerd Pride category :D
https://facer.io/watchface/... -
Finally got my wall up to my desk in whiteboard. 4' by 8' sheets cut to fit the whole wall with a 1/8" clearance at the top. Ignore the raspberry pi, I have to set it up this way because I have no USB network adapter or long enough Ethernet cable. There should have been a magic mirror where the box is but on that specific spot in the wall the studs are only 13 1/2" instead of 14" like they should be...
3 -
Guys, how often do you feel inferior to your colleagues? I'm just thinking since I've just finished first year of uni, and although I got a solid top grade, I can't help but feel that every other person in the year is a much better programmer and it kinda makes me feel like a fraud. Anybody else in university/school feel like that?10
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I’m convinced that CSS is black magic and those that can visualize what it’s going to do before changing code are witches/warlocks.
Usually my attempts end up in humor as the website ends up /comically/ broken. Elements shifted around to not anywhere near they belong, drop downs appearing from completely nonsensical places...
No idea how you all do it.4 -
I hate people ranting about “Uhh thats not responsive I sent a screen how I imagined it.“
Open Screen, 1918x703 px WIDE.
Explained for an hour that thats not fucking responsive. Nobody could see or read that even if I were to implement. Responsive fucking means text breaks BELOW the damn pictures to make it readable. I will never fit that on an iphone or something unless he pays extra so i can perform dark magic to force vertical view on some devices and put 100 alert functions that the device is not supported by the site.
Im so mad fuck him and fuck me1 -
(fn [n]
(loop [cnt 2 out [1 1]]
(if (>= cnt n)
out
(recur (inc cnt) (conj out (+ (first (reverse out)) (second (reverse out)))))
)
)
)
Clojure and Lisp have something of so beautiful... I don't know what it is, but is magical.1 -
We need a thread dedicated to just debating tabs vs spaces and light vs dark themes, every third post is about one of them!1
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Windows 10 updated last night while I slept, fucked royally up my netgear wifi, any advice!? Latest drivers and everything installed :(7
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My exploration into the dev world started back when Anonymous were actually something a bit more than just DDoS dicks. It started with joining in with the DDoSing, but that got me interested in how it works, how servers work, then how websites work, and it's all written from there!2
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3 weeks till deadline... Gonna be hard. Get in find emails from PM, boss and his boss, deadline moved deadline today... Ffs.1
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Disclaimer!!!
Do at your own risk.
-----------------------------------
- Take a strong magnet, like a neodymium magnet.
- Hold it in your hand.
- Move your hand across a Macbook 15"'s keyboard. Say from left to right or vice versa. Almost touching they keys.
You'll see the screen dimming. If you just hold it there for a little longer, it'll lock your macbook. It's funny, but I am not sure if it's doing some damage to hardware.9 -
A wonder happened and I accidentally understood the whole thing about pointers.
Thankfully before the test on Saturday.
Here I come Dynamic Data Structures!5 -
What is windows actually looking for when it's "looking for a solution", it's like a kid trying their hardest to spell a word. There's a chance it'll work, but realistically there is no hope.1
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It's so goddamn hard to get work on freelancer, upwork, people per hour sites when you're just starting, how are you meant to get your foot in the door when nobody fives you chance!5
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I think every office should have a moving barista... His sole job will be going desk to desk and offer a perfect cup of coffee... Thing about it now... I think the barista needs to be psychic... So that whenever I feel like having coffee he will magically appear with a cup coffee...7
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Thanks to @Gormack, everybody is now trying to code inject my website! I have you beat! (Please nobody skilled try it I'll weep)
9 -
If you were to write a tl:dr about your life, what would it be?
Mine would be tl:dr, spent 14 years finding a backtick in a PHP file.5 -
So I may have been preemptive with my earlier rant, I didn't realise Ubuntu ships with PHP7... Oops1
-
When will a client finally understand I can't just 'implement a new secure chat feature but only for these people' before lunch2
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Recently changed up my keyboard and bought a US style instead of my usual UK style, but changed it in Windows so I still have all my keys where I expect them.
But how the hell do you guys live with the tiny ass enter button? My pinkie is bigger than it! -
<!doctype confusedRant 😕>
Plot: we need to release our website in two weeks which holds at least a thousand pages. All these pages are manually migrated from the old website, which doesn't have a database. Current status: 650 pages/1000 are completed, 40 different templates need to be adapted. I'm alone on these templates, my colleagues create the pages and fill the new database
So I'm working on the templates a WebDev coded for our website on a licensed CMS, and had this decently simple html block that looks like a square and consisting of roughly this (Emmet style):
a.area > blockquote > strong.title + p
After adding another <a> element inside the p, I noticed that my <a> wouldn't display and bust the whole look of the square.
Just for more details, the CSS the dev made is ultra specified (meaning each element is too precisely "described" : div.class .child .child2 { /* styles */ } when it could be .class .child2 for example). Also, the templates he made need to be compatible with any "module" the website has, thus the need of this high specificity
So I fired up the DevTools to check what happened, and had:
Expected: a.area > blockquote > strong.title + p > a
Actual result: some new a.area were wrapping the <strong>, the <p> and the <a> I just added. The source code was not showing any of this but just the rules I initially wrote - the expected result
Wtf?! I thought the JS the dev made was adding elements. I disabled said JS, and bam, these a.area were still wrapping everything!! What black magic would add these stupid tags I never asked for.
So I went looking in the CSS files in case some wizardry was happening, but everything was OK.
I tried changing my structure, changing tag (swapping a.area to p.area or without .area), HTML just said "nope, have those please".
Eventually I rewrote my own module out of frustration after three quarters of an hour fiddling with this stupid "module". I hate losing time for such shenanigans and under a lot of pressure because of deadlines.
Still haven't figured why those <element>.area would wrap everything out of nowhere...3 -
Just spent 2 days developing a regular HTML, CSS yadada website for a client, and now she's telling me in needs to be on WordPress. Does anybody know a free way to add WordPress Content Management? (she won't pay)7
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I've been trying to build docs that worked before for my little project for a fucking week. A problem with dependency, because it couldn't just install for whatever magical reason, although in another repo the dep was installed just perfectly.
A few seconds ago it built. Again, magically.1 -
That feeling when you are debugging and java keeps throwing exceptions everywhere for the whole day, and just when you are about to turn off the pc and are resigned to go home with a code full of bugs, decide to launch the program one last time and Everything compile and works properly 😍
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Anybody working on any good open source projects at the minute? I'm looking on expanding my portfolio and getting more hands-on in community based projects.3
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Purging my database before going into production.
Ah, I remember the user asdfdfdf with the password asdfASDF123 so well. Good guy.1 -
Can anyone suggest a good keyboard for coding? I would love something like the latest MacBook keyboard, I'm too addicted to that feel.
So I'd love short key run and a clicky feel.
I don't even know what to search (apart for the magic keyboard, which could be a waste since I'm gonna use it on windows, don't you think?)4 -
I'm so sick of stupid little bugs. Not proper bugs like, I don't know, a memory leak or something significantly wrong, it's always a bloody semi colon or backtick...
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Everybody's off playing No Man's Sky and I'm here on Mint like whadup, I have a better terminal... But I don't even have that anymore!1
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You know that you've just gained few levels when you found out about magic in vim.
:help magic
Also term "very magic" is superb. -
Just found an issue on my application and while I was searching for the error location it magically fixed itself. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEBUG IT NOW?
-
This internal api is killing me. Why the fuck do people return an array of numbers inside a field that has a generic name such as `icons` to convey information such as "hasOptionFooIncluded". Because of course then icons contains '6'. Yet if both 6 and 4 are in there, it means something else. Needless to say there is no documentation whatsoever what each number or group of numbers actually means so I have to ask around to find out what numbers means what in order to wrap that call away into something maintainable. Because the API is deprecated and we don't want to fix shit in there. We just create other shit depending on this crappile. :/
Stop using magic numbers. Just stawp it! -
Some zygote just came into my shop, and had "PC Master Race" tattooed on his arm... I'm all for pc over console but Lord is that dedication1
-
Magic: The Gathering, now with Holo Lens or similar. Pokémon Stadium, Yugi Oh, all these games or series giving you a real atmosphere experience.
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Think I'm gonna branch out from dev for a minute and try my hand mucking about with my arduino kit! Any cool ideas guys? Robot Arm seems to be my prevailing will so far4
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Some client coming back to me claiming some page "suddenly" changed style and fucked stuff up.
Yea, stuff like that totally happens. I'm like 90% sure someone messed with the styling... -
I really feel lost in the world of freelancing, I mean I literally have three jobs on the go so barely any pressure and yet I'm cocking up my time estimations and mixing up code for each site, and giving incorrect predictions for completion, so basically I keep ending up working for free. Freelancers of the depths of devRant, please help! How do you manage to maintain a work life balance? Is accurate predictions and time management just something that comes with experience?
Also huge props to you for being able to keep your mentality!20 -
Out of everything in this assignment, I just know I'll lose more marks for shitty variable naming than any missing features.
Commenting? Perfectly acceptable. Use of functions and classes? Perfectly acceptable.
Variable names? perfectAcceptableMaybeFileOneButAsAString
I don't get how I'm so shitty at it! I currently have shit like file input, file input as string, file input as vector, I didn't know that would be the hardest part!1 -
<3 VS-CODE (:
It's like having a customized tool , well a weapon in that sense 😂😂 Developers like to think of themselves as wizards (including me) and every wizard needs their wands 😋😋3 -
The documentation of scala akka http may be just gibberish as far as I am concerned. You would think that hooking into the marshalling process (aka de/serialization) would be straight forward, I've dealt with similar problems before and solved it.
I have an object, it should be transformed into a Json and vice versa. Should be easy as pie.
Not with scala and akka-http. The docs tell you how to achieve something in dozen different ways yet lack a complete example. My first custom marshaller I created in a "marshall" package in my! namespace, but it was breaking scala compilation due to some black magic.
It's not clear how when and why marshallers are added, they just somehow are. Why do I have to deal with entity marshallers vs response marshallers. I just want each instance of a certain type to be transformed into a specific Json presentation.
Asking on stackoverflow also only yields in incomplete hints of "just do boargh" presupposing certain knowledge while sounding borderline condescending.
Currently, I just want to burn the project and rebuild it with fucking PHP. Flame all you want, at least I would get things done and the JMS serializer library has decent documentation and it works in an expected way.
Akka-http, combined with Scala, looks from my current rage-driven perspective like a solution worse than the problem. -
Anyone doing any VR/AR work for their company and can share (without mentioning the company) what they are doing with it---i.e. business problem being solved and how it's being solved?
Feels like there's a lot of hype here and the few niche applications of it (which are great) are getting the press.
But, maybe there's worthy work going on in the trenches that I'm unfamiliar with.16 -
We use MDD!! I coined this term one night after getting frustrated and having a lot of drinks. What's that, you ask?
MAGIC DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT
It's when you're working on a not-so-recent code base and are afraid to make any changes in fear of breaking things up. You've touched some modules, and now you restrict yourself to work only on those treating all others as a blackbox. Even if something can be achieved by a small change in one of the blackboxes, you still go for multiple changes in the modules you're familiar with! Such is the horror. You start saying that those modules work by some dark magic that nobody understands! -
I think that the most inspiring moment in my life, at least when it comes to programming, was the moment I realized that, that thing standing next to my desk isn't just a black box of black magic. It's a black box of black magic I can harness. That I can use my knowledge and my will to create stuff. Not only for my entertainment, but things that are actually useful and helpful to others.
This thought helped me decide to pursue career in IT. -
The 'geniuses' at Business doesn't seem to figure out why all of their systems turn out to be dogshit and outdated within a year or two.
Its because they don't even involve developers/IT into ANY of theirs decisions.
It's kinda like the patient telling the brainsurgeon how to do their job.
Hey, I get it. We are a bunch of antisocial wizards conjuring black magic at our computers all day. I would stay the fuck away from us if I were you aswell, but please for the love of Cthulhu, let us in on your great plans and amazing decisions before assigning blame.
Regards,
Th3 h3ckerz at IT
2 -
My team has a pathological need to NOT comment! What the fuck!! I think it is because a lot of it is actually magic, so they don't want to admit ignorance. My code is full of "not sure why it works, but breaks when removed." Chunks. That way, when debugging, I actually know what is going on????
I am currently going through and editing someone else's code, and I see code that has no clear purpose, even when removed! Does it do something I don't see??? Does it do nothing?? Fuck! -
Hmmmmm, the Web designer, that's designer not developer, for an ecommerce job I'm working on, just suggested we use WordPress or a html template, rather than create her own. (obvs I denied WordPress as a tool) She's not new to the game either, is she being lazy and cutting corners, or just utilising what's already available with templates?5
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I know it seems very narrow minded, but I've just never given thought to how many developers there are in each country, I only ever think of the West, maybe it's since most code is basically English...2
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How the hell does anybody follow the amount of brackets, quotes, single quotes and ` these things in MYSQL, I'm getting a hernia thinking about it.4
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As a developer for cloud based applications, if I get errors that are weird or I've never seen before it's always networking issues.
-
Any other firebase users think the new update is the least user friendly thing ever? TO THE LEGACY VERSION
-
Thought I'd take a look into how Cloud computing works and what it's all about.
I regret everything.1 -
Any Web Dev or Design managers out there who interview candidates, should a front end developer have a Github for his portfolio or hosted on his own site? I'm torn.3
-
I finally got a nice Ubuntu setup working and running. No wrappers or drivers for my existing wifi dongle but a new one on the way. And Cities Skylines has Linux support so I'm happy. I love it Cheers guys xo1
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Install Linux they said, it's better than a blue screen windows they said, THERE IS NO LINUX DRIVER OR NDISWRAP SUPPORT FOR MY WIFI ADAPTER I'M BASICALLY IN THE SAME BLOODY SPOT BUT WITH A PRETTIER TERMINAL! The reason for getting a blue screen in the first place was a bloody fucked up wifi driver!!!! I both love and hate you guys7
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The only thing cooler than magic numbers are magic no-go numbers.
Or does anyone have a reason for considering 2 or 4 spaces indent but not 3?3 -
My laptop wont boot for the last 4 days, when I tried it out today it booted and nothing happend like wtf.1
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Those bugs that gets fixed by creating a new branch and doing the exact same changes there or even cherry-picking same commits there. Not the first time this happened to me :(
-
Do you ever get those moments if you wonder if you're in the right field? I'm not talking imposter syndrome or anything, just plain, you can't do it.
I've been staring at this cpp function for over an hour now, and I still can't decide where is the right place to return it. This is like every single day while studying cpp, and it's seriously beginning to dishearten me. I know it's just one of those things that'll come with time, but it's been nearly two years now and I still can't get it...6 -
thoughts on the Apple Magic Mouse? is it worth it if you use a Mac for work? I'd definitely get a generation old one where the charging port isn't on the fucking bottom if I were to get one lmfao6
-
Am I wasting my time doing a Software Engineering degree when my main interest is Web development? (we study nothing related to html, CSS, JQuery, JavaScript, Ruby etc) it's mainly C++ and C#8
-
4 hours applying to freelance jobs once again, and once again not a single interest. Maybe I'm doing something wrong2
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The magic Apple Support:
A few days ago, I suddenly couldn't login to iCloud on my mac. I thought it was something that would be gone if I would try turning it back off and on again. Didn't work. Used the mac without bothering about it. I was too lazy to call the Apple Support and it didn't annoy me that much.
A day later, suddenly Spark (my email client) didnt work either, it asked me all the time to re-login into one of the accounts but "an authentication error occured". At that point I thought it was a problem with the keychain. Because i don't use email that often and the last time I should pay 30€ if I wanted to call Support (out of warranty), I just started using email on my phone.
Yesterday, MS Office (yes I use it and I like this Microsoft Product and I'm an Apple fanboy) wouldn't login either. I didn't call them.
Today, I had finally time to call them. They didn't want to charge me since I selected an Apple-Id Problem (and I think the Support Hotlines are free to call idk). The call from Ireland came 2 times and the connection didn't work (thanks iPhone). The third time, the moment the Support guy said Hello iCloud worked. A few second later Office and Spark worked again too. I don't know how these coincidences happen. Anyway, I am just happy my stuff works again and I don't have to use Google Docs and write my mails on my phone. -
Anybody else considered the mass amounts of stress the devRant devs went through, knowing for a lot of their users, it's our jobs to create these types of applications and so they're gonna be judged?
But on the bright side, it turned out amazingly. -
Illusionism, hands down. Although chess and speedcubing are close seconds in my list of geeky non-dev activities. 😀
-
I really like that SO have that documentation section. It's teaching me things about writing documentation that Lord knows University will never teach me. It's great to see how things are done in the industry compared to the ancient practices we're taught.1
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Tfw you see "So here is the magic behind the following." as coding comment the day after you declared a separate modification that you made as "witchcraft".
-
That second or so when installing a package and GDebi is checking whether the dependencies are satisfiable
-
Man I love composer, I really do, but sometimes, I wish it would just bloody download and load in the extensions for PHP for me... I know, I'm the laziest dev around, but typing php-curl is a lot of work 😡
-
Don't you just love the mystery bugs in the development environment. The ones that just appear without any reason like software updates etc. and are usually fixed by just sitting and waiting. It's like spending the whole work day with a crappy magician!2
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Google being Google I can't find a bloody answer, how do I decide to what PHP framework to use for a project? It's an ecommerce platform, not much need for scaling, but I can't bloody figure out what framework to use, either way it will mean learning it from scratch5
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I've beaten the system.
I have managed to remove all traces of a contributor and the associated fork from a repository on GitHub.5 -
Any c++ Gods able to offer a bit of help? I can't ask on stack for risk of a lecturer finding out but I really need help...7
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Calling C++ programmers, or probably any other language, is it bad practice for me to name a string "open_first_file" or should I camelCase it instead?12
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Is it bad practice to write a line of code longer than the screen, meaning you need to scroll on the X? I've had one lecturer who hates it and one who doesn't give a shit and I'm not sure of the standard8
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what did you do at work today? i made an Magic 8-ball chat-bot for facebook.
https://www.facebook.com/Magic8Bot/2 -
Hey Swift keyboard users, does anybody else's just close randomly? Mainly on devRant though, but most of the time when writing the keyboard will minimise itself or create a random string of words. (it did it twice while writing this)3
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I'm a fucking student, so no I don't recieve copies of the utility bills to my bloody halls, nor do I get paper versions of my damn bank statements, since y'know, it's 2016.
It's a goddamn £250 invoice I can't get now, despite getting at least 10 other payments for the same amount previously.
Fuck you in your Royal arse, peopleperhour2 -
If anybody knows of any independent software for predictive coding (as in not part of a platform) please let me know, I'm struggling to find any good ones that are standalone!
-
I have a meeting in 1 hour that should be about the deployment of a product. This morning I got 2 emails from the client about some not so small changes.
Not sure how I can explain that I'm not a wizard.
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