I usually burn my self out when want to finish personal projects.

Browser..

Tim. His name is Tim.

He can only work if being micromanaged, bangs on his desk when frustrated or curses when confused (ALL day), and is the source of all my frustration and rants.

I highly dislike Tim.

There once was a dev who was a believer,
that the best IDE was Dreamweaver!
He argued with zest,
That drag and drop was best;
So I murdered him to death with a cleaver.

Delivery date is tomorrow!

http://adventurega.me/bootstrap/

Read this before you build your next bootstrap site. Lol.

The way customers treat me when I'm on site

Once I purposely made a very obvious mistake to see if QA was actually testing due to how many bugs were getting through to production.

Finally closing dozens of stack overflow tabs upon completion of a project

People posting pictures of their stickers are getting more up votes than my posts attempting to attain stickers.

Access denied

return false;

I don't know your view on girls coding but I love it. They're vicious, focused and can do their job and instantly they can smile at you and make you forget everything. Thank you for being around the office.

I was refactoring the most underneath part of our server code and just found 'getUserGender' method. I think for a second:We don't have this info. Look inside:
return name.endsWith('a')?"female":"male";

😑 it's surprising how much it works in Brazil.

Regression Testing is important

C++ vs Java 😂

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

I'm so grateful DevOps is now a thing. I remember getting a phone call from a client at 2am on a Friday because their site was down and having to ssh in from a Nokia with the world's tiniest keyboard to reboot the server.

Of course that particular server only exposed port 22 on it's local network, so I had to first ssh into another server which did have its ssh port open to external connections.

Trying to remember two sets of credentials and type them in on a tiny keyboard, while so drunk you were seeing double, standing outside in the rain as it was the only place you got signal. Yeah…I'm so grateful DevOps is now a thing

made my first dollar(actually $4) on internet.
got a gig on fiverr.

client wanted his joomla website to be unresponsive so website looks same on all devices.

never touched joomla.
it took ne 2.5 hours but actual work was only 10-15 minutes.

yippiiiieee.....😀😀😇😇

No one's ever gonna want the square of anything higher than 5, right?

I have a theory:

People who have the longest updates in standup are usually the ones who accomplished the least.

What does @dfox say?

About two years ago I get roped into a something when someone was requesting an $8000 laptop to run an "program" that they wrote in Excel to pull data from our mainframe.

In reality they are using our normal application that interacts with the mainframe and screen scrapping it to populate several Excel spreadsheets.

So this guy kept saying that he needed the expensive laptop because he needed the extra RAM and processing power for his application. At the time we only supported 32 bit Windows 7 so even though I told him ten times that the OS wouldn't recognize more than 3.5 GB of RAM he kept saying that increasing the RAM would fix his problem. I also explained that even if we installed the 64 bit OS we didn't have approval for the 64 bit applications.

So we looked at the code and we found that rather than reusing the same workbook he was opening a new instance of a workbook during each iteration of his loop and then not closing or disposing of them. So he was running out of memory due to never disposing of anything.

Even better than all of that, he wanted a faster processor to speed up the processing, but he had about 5 seconds of thread sleeps in each loop so that the place he was screen scrapping from would have time to load. So it wouldn't matter how fast the processor was, in the end there were sleeps and waits in there hard coded to slow down the app. And the guy didn't understand that a faster processor wouldn't have made a difference.

The worst thing is a "dev" that thinks they know what they are doing but they don't have a clue.

After I find one bug....

I noticed people using hashtags in rants. # really? We should use //

//theneworder

Had a request from a client once, "I'd like that our site supports only IE10 and above. However if the visitor uses older IE version, say IE6, things should look and work the same as IE10".

How my .bash_profile looks like after spending some time on devrant

Reality of those delivery dates in executive slides 🤓

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