Age test: How many/which of these did you have to deal with in your life as a dev/tech person?

My answer: Every damn one.

This is the worst codebase I've ever laid eyes upon. Util and helper folders deeper than the Mariana Trench. Shorthand monstrosities longer than a kraken's asshole and a flow that gets that guacamole spilling and your head spinning. There's no exorcizing, no cleansing, no expelling the stench of dysentery from this sacrificial kitchen sink.

0 to see lots and ,, lots and
M. ???...3

Asked to make high level estimates for something that has no scope.

Manager keeps asking to trim down the estimates. o.o

Where is this economic + social collapse that was promised?

%@&$4727;&2@@(&@&

Goodnight…

An ex-colleague got accused stealing company property (soda) that he bought with his own money.

He had put his own soda near the other soda of the company (a different brand they never bought). He went home one day and took 1 bottle with him. During that time period, the company offered free drinks (non-alcoholic of course).

WHY WERE THEY EVEN WATCHING THE CAMERAS

Q: How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb? 💡

A: None. It's a hardware problem. 👩‍💻

coherent devs

Right.. time to update branding for a work project, which I don't normally touch.

So I open Fork, open the local copy, pull from remote, and...... Well, see the screen snip.

🤔😶😭

It must be so nice to work with people who ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK about their codebases. I, unfortunately, can only imagine that..

Give up. Share Target API is already on Android, even in garbage like Samsung Internet. Desktop native apps are already history, mobile apps are sure to follow. Led by Apple Silicon, we will add JS-specific hardware to the CPUs and conquer the world. JavaScript will be the only language, with an exception being C and Lisp.

This whole programming profession sucks! Programmers suck! Managers suck! Companies suck! Products suck!

Why is it so hard to organize your stupid code at least a bit?! No, it’s not deadlines, just write a block of code and give it a meaningful name, a function, a method, a comment, so many options, so little fucks given. Give things a meaningful name instead of whatever came to your mind that moment. There’s no excuse! No, just leave it to the next guy, and he’ll leave his trash for another one. And then we complain and make memes about it. Fuck you all!

There’s no purpose or vision of products, managers sweep problems under a rug, executives do whatever they do, as long as some money is pouring in, just keep pedaling semi-mindlessly. Spin the wheel you little hamsters until you drop, there’s enough hamsters out there.

It’s just a clusterfuck of small, selfish interests and egos, a mud of meaningless and unnecessary problems that need not be there.

It’s not the workload, it’s the stress! The stress of bullshit, and constant problems that can be avoided if everyone did their job at least half-professionally. Not just programmers, everyone!

I feel attacked.

If you ever wondered how to get all the data from your database in reverse order, chatGPT is here to help.

The longer I work in IT, the longer it takes me to answer tech questions.

In my jr days I was confident and used to blab out the first thing [solution] that came to my mind. But now.. Now I tend to require a few minutes to think about the question, the problem, possible solutions, weight out their pros and cons and only then can I start answering.
If I don't wait, I usually tend to regret rushing as a better answer comes to me a few minutes later

is it just me getting old? Or do you have the same thing?

Who thought adding a stupid web app to configure a switch is a good idea? Who!?

The sound of my back and shoulders (left shoulder mostly) cracking as I do a half downward dog stretch after sitting in the worst possible posture all day is both terrifying and satisfying......

How geeky you are from 0 to getting merchandise from Intel?

the year is 2050
- Linux is written in Rust and called Windows
- Python 2 market share increased by 2% since 2023
- The latest JS framework to finally solve everything just came out, and this time it’s the real deal. The exact same thing also happened in 2045, 2041, 2037, 2035, 2030 and 2026
- More than 60% of every CPU is hardware JS cores
- React became a separate language
- Sentient Copilot refused to write code in it
- Unit tests are illegal in three states
- Google had changed their motto from “Do The Right Thing” to “Do At Least Something”
- Chrome OS was rewritten in JS
- CSS is Turing-complete

the team owns it but nobody knows how it works

fucking end me

Kerbal Space Program: Kiki Edition, where you explore the abyss of your deep personal trauma instead of outer space

my official animoji just came out

When I launch my startup, I'm gonna insert all kinds of very stupid and weird error messages in place of the actual errors just so the people can have a chuckle instead of being annoyed
maybe someone's gonna post it on reddit or something, I don't mind, that's actually a good thing

So, I have joined this new company where I used to work few years back. Something happened before I rejoined, so no one is working there now except me. It's web agency run by my boss and I am the only employee working on over 7 projects including front end, back end, mobile, devops, and some marketing also.

Now, I got offers from couple of other series a funded startups who are willing to pay me 30% more salary. I know I will have less responsibility and more work life balance. But I hate the politics in those companies.

My current company is making good revenue but my boss isn't giving me the salary I am expecting.

He said it will take few more months to give me the salary I demanded.

I also want to build my own company and provide services someday. That's why I thought it'll be better to stick with the company so that I cam learn other aspects of the business.

So. If the company is making say over 200k usd a year and its paying me around 23k usd per year, isn't this kinda low salary for my experience, skills and value I bring?

How should I go about asking a raise?

Also, I don't wanna move to another big tech company. I hate coding questions in the interview as its been years I have prepared for a proper tech interview.

Also, how secure do you think my job is? Is there any future working here? Will I ever be able to reach a salary comparable to big tech companies?
Is it a good place be in right now? (i jave over 5 years of experience)

Fucking idiot lead dev who’s 10 years younger then me doesnt know fucking respect. Dumbass comes with every new framework there is:
- ow we should try abc.js
One week later
- now we should totally get in def.js. It’s soooo much better then abc.js!

Screwing up projects, asking for an extra pair of eyes and then asking wtf is this code.

Im out of here if we’re hiring toddlers for lead developers because they are willing to work 50 hours a week. I better get that raise soon.

dealing with a crippling realization that my depressed brain is a pale shadow of former myself before bipolar, but getting lost in a contradiction posed by the fact that I have more experience and clearer vision now, not being able to decide what's better and who I'd rather be

Need to finish my app for Tomorrow but my brain is going 🦧

…okay :D the irony

Happy New Year!
Let the triggering commence!

Me: That’s JSON
Wife: Who’s Jason?

Did a nasty thing in prod...

Very nasty.

So nasty even default graph tells me something about going yolo in prod.

Maybe it's weed. But feels like that graph tells me not to trry this shit ever again.