Client : we need a better captcha system.
Dev:

My developer girlfriend 'throws' a book instead

Friend found this at his office

"No one's here, let's just restart it and see what happens."

Disclaimer: just fascinated by this one in 9gag

How my emacs friends are seeing me every time I talk about Vim ...

Windows is frozen

Ohhhhhh

This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*

"Another day of shitty weather..." said a programmer woken up to a sunshine.

Questions about code has reduced greatly after I got a new laptop.

them "my tablet isn't working. I think it's broken"

me *turns it on*

them "How did you do that"

me "i clicked the power button. seems to be fine"

I was looked at like I summoned both Satan and God simultaneously

A graphical artist wanted to save memory by coloring unused pixels in a spritesheet black because 0 is less than 255...

meanwhile in Portugal ...

When she says she will marry you, even though you already married to code! 😲🤔😍

Douche: So your a programmer ?

Me: Yes

Douche: Excellent, I have an idea.....

Me: No

Douche: cmon bro, week be rich, this screensaver so will make us tons of money

Me: I have a question.

Douche: corz man waddup

Me: do you use a screensaver?

Douche: no, why?

Me: *walks away angrily

Works every time.

Our boss likes pixel art, so we thought we should Post-It

I work for my university's IT Helpdesk, I asked a customer what browser they were using and they said WiFi.... How do these people have six-figure jobs?!

Boys only care about one thing

Came across this gold:

Q) What is the best naming prefix for a global variable?

Ans) //

fuck fuck fuck, my host.
gave me 32GB of RAM and a 32bit OS

not enough jQuery

who follows instructions....not me

when you have nightmares involving bugs ;-)

try to explain today to my wife, even if I'm on vacation technology is not.

My girlfriend this morning: "You're just over there on devRant, and I'm in here making you breakfast in my underwear.. What the hell is on devRant that's so important?"
Me: "I'll be in in just a minute, hold on......"

My rubber duck does not let me move my hand away from the keyboard. Very productive :-)

First post on here. Found this pretty funny :)