I just finished reading the last chapter of the DevOps Handbook, its an eye opener, but not an easy read. And still recommended.

I've been reading this book for the past year and a half, little by little. It was hard since I started understanding why my work was so frustrating (I'm in System-Cloud-Ops position). The book made sense, while the work did not, it got harder since the book provides solutions, but whenever I dicussed any solutions with management they dismissed everything.
I started to initiate improvements by myself:
Prioritizing tasks I thought were more important to improve the way of work - do now and ask questions later... I got yelled at, I got my managers angry, but afterwards more often then not they admitted I was right.
To make it possible I worked overtime and on weekends, trying to prove a better way is possible, by implementing a long term solutions to solve problems instead of workarounds, automating a lot of stuff, creating labs, preparing presentations and documentation.
Time and time again I tried to pitch more ideas related to DevOps but the managers didn't care...
I know now my burnout started 8 months ago slowly, my hairline started receding, I started clenching my teeth (the doctor said stress was the cause) which was very fainful.
I continued to work but I noticed I was also more cynical, frustrated, and tired.

In the process I neglected myself.
So finally after 2 years and a half I quit my job, to focus on myself, at least for a little while.
I hope in my next job will be better.

Shout-out the women who share their work without plastering it in hashtags relating to #womenwhocode

You the real ones.

- Girl: I don't understand how some people can be so foolish and decide to study computer science.

- Me: Hm, true. So what did you study?

- Girl: Tourism and sports science. And you?

- Me: Nothing. I'm a truck driver.

The L in University stands for Learning.

— Why do you want to work at our office in Mexico?
— I want to be a señor developer.

Client: This new feature is not working on Internet Explorer.
Me: Do you have enough oxygen in the cave you are living in?

Predictions about internet in the early 2000's:
"This invention will help advancing science, research and access to knowledge and education".

Reality:
"LINUX IS SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC, FASCIST .."

"I can write a script to do your job"

Journalist: How would you describe bad code?
Developer: "No comment"

Interviewer: Discuss scoping in JavaScript.

Applicant: I demand a trial by combat.

Classes are classist.

Objects are objectifying.

Race conditions are racist.

Foreign keys are xenophobic.

Functions are ableist.

Thin clients are weightist.

Bitmasks perpetuate heteronormativity.

Code beautifiers promote unrealistic beauty expectations.

Test-driven development is victim blaming.

Forced commit pushes are rape.

Motherboards perpetuate gender roles.

And don't get me started on white space.

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

Android studio runs sooooo much better on Linux as compared to windows!!!
I just can't believe it!
My build times have been reduced by like 70% on the same laptop!
Why on earth was I even using windows all along!!

Next time I see a constructor with 22 parameters. I'm gonna report whoever wrote that to the police

Q: What do Computers and air conditioners have in common?

A: Both become useless when you open Windows.

friend of mine: "I like my servers like I like my girls"
me: "insecure?"

My friend after he watched some of the shows I recommend him(silicon valley, Mr robot, etc)
"You're like an encapsulation of all the things wrong with the characters, without the genius"

FUCK YOUR OPEN SPACE OFFICE!!!!

AND FUCK YOUR HOT DESKING!!!

As a developer, is it too much to ask for a quiet section? 😭

Arrays start at ZERO, Morty, ZERO. God, I (burp) thought you would have figured that out by now. Lo-lo-look, I know you were taught that arrays start at one, but that's just (burp) fucking stupid Morty and if I ever find whoever started that shit I will literally drill the correct answer into their brain. And I don't mean "literally" as a literally unliteral exaggeration Morty, I mean (buuuurp) I will literally use a brain-altering power drill and get it into their fucking head that (burp) arrays start. at. zero.

customer who didn't paid for 3 months: why is our server down?

me: server?. what server?.

This is so mean

I'm gonna build my own Blockchain, with blackjack and hookers.

„We love open source, so we'll just buy all of it!“
— Microsoft, 2018/06/04

At Job interview.

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Me: I see myself as the leader of a raider group, robbing and scavenging together pieces of what is left of the civilization in hopes to build a weapon powerful enough to take the world back from a rogue AI, which I built myself few years earlier.

Interviewer: What!?

Me: What?

>be 16
>first intro to game developement
>medium sized start up, writes lore
>eighty pages of background lore
>only on gnomes
>model designer "indentifies as a gnome"
>eighty pages gets scrapped because they were "offensive"
>mom comes home to a lawn full of broken gnomes

Roses are red..🌹🌹
Sky is blue...🌌🌌
unexpected '{' on line 72

I played Witcher 3 for straight 12 hours 😎

I had someone come ask me what language I was programming in.

I responded with "dart"

They then said "no. What PROGRAMMING language?"

I said "ya. That's what dart is."

They said "no. Programming languages are HTML, JavaScript, and CSS"

I was too tired to explain...

I'm hoarding free courses on Udemy which I probably won't even watch. I even enrolled in stuff not related to dev, things like meditation and etc...

Actually finish a proj.... Oh I'm sorry I got distracted and started a new projec... Oh look a bird...